 | TV title:
True Blood
(2008 - present)
Character name:
Eric Northman | Season 1 Quotes
Episode 4: Escape from Dragon House
Eric: "Bill Compton, it has been a while."
Bill: "Yes, well... I've been" [Eric cuts him off]
Eric: "Mainstreaming. I heard. [looks at Sookie] I see that is going well for you."
Bill: "Yes of course uh sorry, Eric this is my friend.."
Eric: "Sookie Stackhouse."
Sookie: "How do you know my name?"
Pam: "I never forget a pretty face, you're in my vault."
Sookie: "Great. That's just great. It's nice to meet you."
Eric: "Well aren't you sweet."
Sookie: "Not really."
Eric: [little snicker] [Swedish] "Vår lilla djurpark börjar växa till sig." (Our little zoo is starting to grow)
Pam: "Jag vet" (I know)
Eric: "Miss Stackhouse I understand you've been asking questions about some of my customers."
Sookie: "Yes I have."
Eric: "If you have anything to ask you should ask it of me."
Sookie: "Alrighty. You recognise either one of these girls?" [hands Eric two photos]
Eric: "Hmm. This one offered herself to me, but I found her too pathetic for my attentions. Now this one however.. I have tasted."
Pam: "I remember 'em both."
Sookie: "On account of the vault?"
Pam: "Never had either of 'em though, they weren't really my type."
Sookie: Well, thank you very much that is all your time I need to take."
Eric: I'm not finished with you yet! Please.. sit. Soo, Bill. Are you quite attached to your friend?"
Bill: "She is mine!"
Sookie: "Yes. I am his."
Eric: Well what a pity.. for me. Sit with us, we have catching up to do you and I. It has been too long."
Bill: "Yes."
Undercover cop: [Sookie reading his thoughts] "Where the f*ck are they, my back up was supposed to be here 15 minutes ago, I can't handle a raid on my own, these f*cking vampires will waste me.."
Sookie: "We have to get out of here!"
Bill: "Sookie!"
Sookie: "Eric the cops are coming there's gonna be a raid."
Eric: "Tell me you're not an undercover cop."
Sookie: "I'm not but that man in the hat is."
Eric: "Even if you're right we do nothing illegal here."
Sookie: [has a vision] "There's a vampire named Taryn in the ladie's room with that man you kicked before, she's feeding on him."
Pam: "How do you know this?"
[Bill shakes his head at Sookie warning not to reveal her secret. Cops bust in. Eric stands up.]
Eric: "Follow me." [the four of them exit Fangtasia] I enjoyed meeting you Miss Stackhouse, you will come again."
Episode 8: The Fourth Man in the Fire
Eric: "I texted you three times, why didn't you reply?"
Bill: "I hate using the number keys to type. What are you listening to?"
Eric: "From our younger days. It's really quite beautiful if you know old Swedish. I have a favour to ask of you."
Bill: "A favour or an order?"
Eric: "Depends on how you look at it. Honestly, did you think you could keep her to yourself?"
Eric: "Pam, Longshadow and I are partners in this club, and we recently noticed that 60 thousand dollars has gone missing from our books. And Bruce... is our accountant, perhaps you can start by listening to him."
Sookie: "He's not saying anything."
Eric: "Don't be coy. It's humbling enough to turn to a human for assistance. We know what you can do."
Sookie: "And I know what you can do too. Why don't you just glamour him."
Eric: "Now don't you think we might have tried everything before summoning you. So, it would be a great favour to me, and to Mr. Compton if you help us."
Sookie: "If I find out who did it, then what?"
Longshadow: "We'll turn that person over to the police and let the authorities handle it from there."
Sookie: [laughs] "Hundreds of years old and you're still a terrible liar, come on! I'll make you a deal. If you promise to hand over the person who did this to the police, I'll agree to help you anytime you want."
Eric: "Alright. Why not."
[after Sookie clears Bruce] "Bring the next one in."
Eric: "Ginger, this woman has some questions for you, now be a good girl and answer them will you."
Ginger: "Aye aye Master. [Sookie goes to take her hand] Don't you touch me."
Eric: [to Pam] "Hold her still."
Episode 9: Plaisir d'amour
[Ginger is screaming hysterically]
Pam: "Ginger enough!"
Eric: "Thank you."
[Ginger is sick after seeing Longshadow staked]
"Humans. Honestly Bill I don't know what you see in them"
Eric: "When Ginger is finished glamour her for me."
Pam: "Are you sure? She's been glamoured one too many times already, who knows how much of her's left."
Eric: "It's either that or turn her. You want her?"
Pam: "Please, I'm not that desperate. Glamour it is."
Eric: [satisfied] Excellent. [to Bill] Come, I'll buy you a blood."
[In Eric's office. Eric hands Bill a microwaved Tru:Blood]
Bill: "Thank you."
Eric: "How do you stomach that stuff. Don't you find it metallic and vile?
Bill: "I don't think about it. It's sustenance that's all." [Eric sniggers] What?"
Eric: "Well if you're their poster boy the mainstreaming movement is in very deep trouble. Tru:Blood it keeps you alive but it will bore you to death."
Bill: "Let's cut to the chase shall we."
Eric: "You killed a vampire Bill. For a human. What are we gonna do about this?"
Bill: "What do you have in mind."
Eric: "I'll take the girl."
Bill: "No!... You can have anyone you want why do you want her?"
Eric: "Why do you want her? You're not in love with her are you?"
Bill: "Sookie must be protected."
Eric: "Now that sounds like an edict but it couldn't be because I would know about that. Admit it.. you love her."
Bill: "If I hadn't done what I did, would you have let his disloyalty stand?"
Eric: "Whatever I did to Longshadow I would not have done in front of witnesses, especially not vampire witnesses. Not smart Bill. Not smart at all."
[Bill answer's his door]
Bill: "Eric. Pam."
Eric: "Bill, Chow. Chow, Bill."
Chow: "Nice to meet you."
Pam: "Chow is Longshadow's replacement."
Bill: "Oh. I take it by your being here there was no way around it then?"
Eric: "I can't really say, didn't exactly look into it." [Pam laughs]
Bill: "Tell me, do you enjoy living half way up his backside the way you do?"
Pam: "Yes it's nice you should try it."
Bill: "We're gonna have to stop by the bar where Sookie works first. She needs to know that I'll be gone. Don't forget how this started, she came to Fangtasia to help you."
Eric: "Fine. Go to the bar."
Pam: "Might be smart to check out the competition."
Eric: "Yes indeedy."
[in Merlotte's]
Bill: [to Eric] "Try to behave yourself."
Eric: "Don't I always?"
Eric: "So simply present this card at the door when you get to Fangtasia, the first round is on me."
Pam: "Also Thursday's are ladie's nights so be sure to bring a date.. that is if you can get one."
Chuck: [laughs] "She got you."
Eric: [as Pam goes to give Chuck a card] "Not him. He doesn't get one."
Chuck: "What gives bro?"
Eric: "What d'you do to your arm there? ....bro.
Chuck: "No..no.. nothin'."
Eric: "Hmm? [to Bill] Take it your business here is done?"
Bill: "I came to talk to Sookie."
Eric: "I'll give you three minutes. We have a tribunal to get to."
Sookie: [confused] "What?"
Bill: "Come with me."
Eric: [speaking to the whole room] "Oh before I go, a word of advice. We know when a human has wronged us, we can smell it. So do not make the mistake of letting the pretty blonde vampire lady on television make you feel too comfortable. We may not have retaliated...yet. But we know who you are. Have a nice night."
[Bill taking too long to say goodbye to Sookie]
Eric: "Tick tock Bill."
Sookie: "Bill."
Bill: "Just look after yourself alright. I've asked Sam to watch over you."
Sookie: "I wish you hadn't of done that."
Bill: "Be smart Sookie and just let him. There's still somebody out there who wants to kill you."
Sookie: "Fine. I will."
Bill: "Thank you."
Eric: "And time." [Bill and Sookie kiss goodbye]
Pam: "If I had any feelings, I'd have the chills right about now."
Eric: "Not me... Bill! Now!"
Episode 10: I Don't Wanna Know
Eric: "Yes Magister it's true, Longshadow was a thief and a liar. He was hurting my business."
Magister: "The business part, that is a serious offence."
Bill: "And it was the human who exposed Longshadow. Would you tell him Eric?"
Eric: "The only reason the girl was there.. was because I called her."
Bill: "To protect your wealth."
Eric: "To protect my wealth, yes. Magister she is... valuable."
Magister: "Humans exist to serve us, that is their only value."
Bill: "There are those among us who think differently."
Magister: "Do you question my authority? I am the Magister, I was trained in the Inquisition, and I am the adjudicator for every vampire territory in North America. As the humans say, the humans you love more than your own kind, back your sh*t down!"
Eric: [warning Bill as he goes to respond] "Bill!"
Magister: [little snicker] "Well you haven't bored me. That works in your favour. And you seem to be obediant to your sheriff."
Eric: "For the most part. [glares at Bill] When it matters, yes he is."
Episode 11: To Love is to Bury
Eric: [looking at Jessica] "She's your punishment not mine. What am I supposed to do with her?"
Jessica: "Excuse me I can hear you Mr. rude. I wanna go to the bar, I wanna be one of those dancers. Ohh I'm hungry."
Bill: "She won't listen to me. And it will take more time than I have to teach her obediance."
Jessica: "I don't obey anybody, those days are over."
Eric: "You can't handle one little girl Bill. New borns can be like this. [pats Bill's shoulder] Man up my friend she's not even one night old."
Bill: "That is not the issue."
Eric: "You want to stay with your maker don't you?"
Jessica: "No he's a d*ck. D*ck, d*ick, d*ck! [Eric laughs] You're cute, can I sit in your lap?"
Eric: "No."
Jessica: "Why?! Nobody lets me have any fun, f*ckers!"
Eric: "Sit down and shut up! Close the door. [to Bill] See you have to be tough with them or they'll walk all over you."
Bill: "I am well aware of that, but you can see how she is. And there are urgent matters to which I must attend."
Eric: "Sookie Stackhouse? Haven't you done enough for her?"
Bill: "If any harm were to come to her because of my absence you would be..."
Eric: [glares at Bill] "What?"
Bill: "... without her helpful skills."
Jessica: "Lemme out I wanna do somethin' bad." [squeals, growls and bangs at the door]
Bill: "I would be in your debt. I would return the favour."
Eric: "Oh yes you will. You most definately will. Jessica!"
Jessica: "You don't have to yell at me."
Eric: "How would you like to learn how a real vampire feeds?"
Jessica: "Oh, yes sir! Please sir!"
Eric: [to Bill] "See. It's really quite easy."
Episode 12: You'll Be the Death of Me
[Eric, Pam and Jessica enter Bill's house]
Jessica: [to Bill] "Hi daddy."
Bill: "What is this?"
Eric: "There are favours and there are.. favours."
Pam: "She is extremely annoying."
Bill: "You can't do this we had a deal!"
Eric: "Yeah well now the terms have changed, she's yours. Unless you wanna give me Sookie." [Bill extends his fangs, Eric does the same, Pam rolls her eyes. Eric laughs] It's just a suggestion. Though a few nights with this one may change your mind."
Pam: "Good luck."
Eric: [as he and Pam are leaving. Swedish] "Åh du ljuva frihet." (Oh sweet freedom) [Pam laughs]
Season Two Quotes
Episode 1: Nothing But the Blood
[Royce and Lafayette are chained up in Fangtasia's basement]
Royce: "I got a plan. I'm bustin' us out."
Lafayette: "Don't be an idiot."
Royce: "I'll come back for you, I promise."
Lafayette: "Shh, sshhut up."
Eric: [comes down the stairs to the basement] "No shushing won't do any good sweetheart, we hear everything. Well since you made me come all the way down here I oughta take out some of the garbage. [crouches down in front of Royce] Royce Alan Williams. We have a few questions for you with regards to a fire which claimed three of our kind."
Royce: "No f*cking way man! I don't know anything!"
Eric: "Crimes against vampires are on the rise. We lost a sheriff just days ago. We seek answers."
Episode 2: Keep This Party Going
Eric: [after killing/feeding on Royce, to Lafayette] "If you have any silver on you, now would be the time to reveal it."
Lafayette: "No way, I ain't that stupid."
Eric: "Yes you are. [wipes his mouth and looks at his hand] Is there blood in my hair?"
Lafayette: [confused] "What?"
Eric: "Is there blood in my hair?"
Lafayette: "I don't know I, I, I, I can't see in this light."
Eric: [goes over to him quickly] "How about now?"
Lafayette: [shaking] "Y..yeah th..there's a little bit of blood in there, yeah."
Eric: "Oh, this is bad. Pam's gonna kill me."
Lafayette: "Who the f*ck is Pam?"
Eric: "Why, do you wanna meet her?"
Lafayette: "No. No, I'm.. I'm good."
Eric: "Well you're going to." [unchains Lafayette]
Lafayette: "Where you taking me?"
Eric: "To find out what you know. I wouldn't try anything rash if I were you. [kicks aside a dismembered arm] I'm still hungry."
[Pam is inspecting Eric's hair]
Pam: "This is a disaster. We'll have to go much shorter than I planned."
Eric: "Well I said I was sorry Pam. He took silver to me. [to Lafayette] You were there, you saw it, defend me."
Lafayette: "I don't know what it is you wanna know but, point me in the direction and I'll give it to you."
Eric: "I've seen your website, it's quite uh... low rent. But your clients miss you Lafayette. They're wondering if you're ever coming back."
Lafayette: [nervous] "Am I? [long pause, Eric stares at him] Look I'm here because of the V right? How about I give you the names of everybody I ever sold to."
Pam: "And all this time I thought prostitutes were good at keeping secrets."
Lafayette: "Oh don't get it twisted honeycone, I'm a survivor first, a capitalist second, and a whole buncha other sh*t after that, but a hooker dead last. So if I've got even a Jew at an Al-Queda pep rally's shot of gettin' ma black ass up outta this muthaf*cka, I'm taking it. Know what you wanna know?"
Eric: "The vampire you had your little arrangement with, Eddie Fournier, what happened to him?
Lafayette: "Um, I don't know. I swear to God I don't. Last time I saw him he was doing real good. But I, I think, he may have been taken.. by somebody."
Eric: "By whom?"
Lafayette: "I don't know, I mean, I ain't sure."
Eric: "Well that's not very forthcoming of you. Chow you're up."
Lafayette: "No! No, chill out, sh*t! [scared] I, I think it, I think, it was, Jason Stackhouse."
Eric: "Jason Stackhouse?"
Pam: [talks with Eric in Swedish] "Sookie's bror. Kan det vara kul?" (Sookie's brother. Could be fun?)
Eric: "Mm... Kul, men dumt. Sookie är alldeles för viktig för oss just nu." (Fun, but stupid. Sookie is too important to us right now.)
Pam: "Mm, det är sant." (That's true.)
Eric: "Sadly this information is of no use to me. Not now anyway. I understand dealers of vampire blood sometimes trade product with one other across state lines. Any buyers in the Dallas area?"
Lafayette: "Yes, one. He never gave me his name though. I have an email address, p*ssylover9@shemail.com." [Chow rolls his eyes, Pam smirks]
Eric: "Mm, a friend of mine in the Dallas area, his name is Godric, has gone missing. Now while the circumstances of his disappearance are unclear it stands to reason his blood would be very valuable. As he is over twice my age and ten times the vampire I will ever be."
Pam: "Oh Eric you don't do humble well."
Eric: "I was not being humble this happens to be true. Your associate, this.. p*ssylover. Has he or she mentioned any new product coming on the market?"
Lafayette: "No, no. And I would tell you, you.. you know that."
Eric: "Chow take our guest and lock him back up will you?"
Lafayette: "F*ck that I ain't going back down there! I gave you everything!"
Eric: "You gave me nothing!!"
Lafayette: "I'm not going back."
Eric: "Chow, now." [Chow drags Lafayette out of the room with him still protesting]
[Eric appears behind Bill in the mall with his new look]
Eric: "Good evening old sport."
Bill: "Eric?"
Eric: "It's the new me. You like?"
Bill: "I do, very much."
Saleswoman: [assumes Bill and Eric are a couple] "Ohhh [laughing] ...okay, woo."
[she backs away leaving them alone, Eric smirks]
Eric: "We need to talk."
[different scene in the mall]
Eric: "The sheriff of Area 9 in Texas has gone missing. Have you heard about this?"
Bill: "I hadn't but I, I know the vampire of whom you speak, his name is Godric, correct?"
Eric: "Indeed. And it goes without saying he needs to be found. Which is where Sookie comes in."
Bill: "No."
Eric: "As she's yours I'm asking your permission to take her with me to Dallas."
Bill: "Eric you can do whatever you want with me but I am not putting her in this position anymore. I can not and I will not allow you to bring her into these matters."
Eric: "We made a deal your human and I. That if I didn't kill anyone she would work for me as often as I like. You remember this don't you? You were there."
Bill: "Taking her across state lines is a far cry from taking her to Fangtasia for the evening!"
Eric: "I'm only asking your permission out of respect. If I want her I can simply take her. Is no your final answer?"
Bill: "It is."
Eric: "Poorly played Bill."
[Eric enters his office where Pam, Chow and Lafayette are waiting]
Eric: [to Lafayette] "Sorry to keep you waiting for so long. How's the leg?"
Lafayette: "It's shitty. Thanks for asking."
Eric: "After all your proclamations about what a model prisoner you were going to be. You had to try to escape."
Lafayette: "You were gonna kill me anyway right?"
Eric: "Well now you'll never know. [Pam smirks] So what's it going to be Lafayette? Would you like the leg to kill you? Or would you prefer us to do it?"
Lafayette: "I'm gonna go with plan C."
Eric: "There's a plan C?"
Lafayette: "Make me a vampire."
Eric: [disbelieving] "I beg your pardon?"
Lafayette: "You can put me to work in the bar. I'm a good dancer you've seen it on my site. Shiiit I'd get up there and move earth and heaven Go-Go style."
Eric: "You are aware there's a gaping hole in your leg. You're damaged goods."
Lafayette: "Not if you turn me. I'll be good as ever. Look I.. I'm already a person of poor moral character so, I hit the ground running, and i damn near glamour people already. Gimme what y'all got and it's on and crackin'. Not only will I be a badass vampire, but I'll be your badass vampire."
Eric: [intrigued] "Interesting."
Lafayette: "Yeah?"
Eric: "I'll take it under advisement. Pam, Chow....chow time."
[All three extend fangs and start feeding on Lafayette]
Episode 3: Scratches
[to Dr. Ludwig about Bill] "Forget him. Bill is abnormally attached to this human."
Eric: "The head of a bull?"
Bill: "That's what she said. It was dark. It all happened in seconds."
Eric: "So you didn't see this uh, bull-man?"
Bill: "No."
Eric: "And you gave her your blood?"
Bill: "It didn't work."
Eric: "Hm."
Bill: "You ever heard of anything like this?"
Eric: "Surprisingly no. Pam, Chow. I thought in over a thousand years I'd seen everything there was to see. [Pam and Chow enter Eric's office, he addresses them] Search the woods around highway 71."
Pam: "He can do it, I'm wearing my favourite pumps."
Eric: [Swedish] "Du hörde vad jag sa." (You heard what I said) [Pam sighs, her and Chow leave the room] She is extremely lazy. But loyal. How's yours? Jessica."
Bill: "Petulant. Dangerous. Afraid."
Eric: "I'm glad to see you two are bonding. Being a good maker is very rewarding."
Bill: "I have to get back to Sookie."
Eric: "Ah relax. Dr. Ludwig treated one of Pam's humans when he was mauled by a werewolf... he lost an eye but otherwise he's fine."
[Bill goes to bite his wrist to allow Sookie to feed from him to heal her wounded back, Eric speeds over and grabs his arm]
Eric: "Mine is much stronger. Allow me."
Bill: "Never. [Eric laughs as Bill removes his hand and he backs away] Sookie can you hear me, you must drink." [Sookie drinks from Bill's wrist]
Dr. Ludwig: [on her way out, looks at Eric] "I'll expect my payment by the end of the week."
Eric: [watches her go] "It's always a pleasure doing business with you Dr. Ludwig."
Dr. Ludwig: [from out of frame] "F*ck off!!"
Bill: "Clearly the pleasure is one sided."
Eric: "Eh she's no fan of the fang. But she tolerates us as our blood is of such great value to healers. [looks at Sookie still feeding from Bill] Careful, you'll overcook her."
Bill: [removes his wrist from Sookie] "Good girl."
Sookie: [in a whisper] "Thank you."
[Pam and Chow return all dirty from their search]
Pam: "The area has been scanned."
Chow: "The tracks were human, but the smell was distinctly animal."
Eric: "What kind?"
Pam: "A filthy one."
Chow: "We didn't recognise it."
Eric: "How intriguing. Well send an alert through the appropriate channels, find out what the neighbours know. [Pam and Chow turn to leave] And Pam. [waits until she turns around] Those were great pumps. [Pam gives him a dirty look and continues to leave, Chow and Eric smirk, Eric turns back to Bill]
Bill: [about Sookie] "I don't wanna move her."
Eric: "Of course not. I'll make sure she's taken care of."
Bill: "I'm not leaving her."
Eric: "Longshadow kept a coffin in back. He liked to feed before resting so it might be a bit messy. But you're welcome to it." [turns and starts walking away]
Bill: "I want to thank you for your hospitality... and for saving Sookie's life."
Eric: [speaking over his shoulder] "I'm sure there's a way she can repay me."
[Sookie's up and healed, Bill enters the room, they hug]
Bill: "You're still angry about our fight? Sookie none of that matters anymore."
Sookie: "You're right, I'm alive and in one piece, unlike my friend Lafayette who Eric chained up like an animal and left to bleed to death!"
Bill: [confused] "What?"
Sookie: "You better not have known anything about this Bill Compton, cause if you did, I don't think I could ever forgive you."
Bill: "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Eric: [as he's entering the room] "I imagine she's referring to the human in my basement, the human that traded sexual services with a vampire in order to sell his blood. Which as you know, is a grave offence."
Sookie: [walking over to Eric] "His name is Lafayette and you oughta be ashamed of yourself for what you've done to him!" [she slaps him]
Bill: "Sookie!"
Eric: "I'm glad you're feeling better, and may I add that colour suits you very well."
Sookie: "Go to hell!"
Bill: "Sookie enough!"
Sookie: "Oh it's not nearly enough. They've tortured him and bitten him and shot him and kept him down there in his own filth for weeks!"
Bill: "Is this true?"
Eric: "There are others who would of done far worse and you know it."
Sookie: "You're gonna let him go right now, or I swear I'm going to the police!"
Eric: [extends his fangs and rushes right up to Sookie's face] "I do not respond well to threats. [he backs away a little] But perhaps we can come to some sort of arrangement. [he smirks, looks towards his office door] Please. [Sookie then Bill start walking towards it]
[in Eric's office]
Sookie: "So, if I agree to go to Dallas, to help look for this missing vampire, you'll let Lafayette go?"
Bill: "No, you nearly died last night, you are not going to Dallas."
Sookie: "Bill, I can make up my own mind."
Eric: "I will pay all of your expenses of course, and, yes, I will release your friend."
Sookie: "And I want five thousand dollars. [to Bill] I've missed a lot of work and, I need a driveway."
Eric: "Your human is getting cocky."
Bill: "She will take ten thousand, and I will escort her."
Eric: "I don't think so, no."
Sookie: "Yes. Ten thousand and Bill comes with me, or it's a deal breaker."
Eric: [glares at Sookie, pushes an intercom sort of button] "Föra honom. (Bring him in) [to Sookie] You surprise me, and that is a rare quality in a breather."
Sookie: "You disgust me."
Eric: "Perhaps I'll grow on you."
Sookie: "I'd prefer Cancer." [Bill looks partly shocked and amused]
Eric: "You need to leave immediately."
Bill: "I will make the travel arrangements. But I will need your credit card number."
[Pam chucks Lafayette through the door, he lands on the floor, Sookie goes to him]
Pam: "Such a shame, I was hoping I could convince Eric to let me keep you."
Eric: "No you already have enough pets."
Lafayette: "No offence, but yo ain't exactly my type, bitch."
Pam: "Can I kick him?"
Bill: [warning] "You can try."
Eric: "Enough. Have Chow fetch their car." [Pam leaves giving her look. Eric crouches down beside Lafayette and strokes his arm] I'll see you around I'm sure."
Lafayette: "Oh don't bet on it baby. I'm retiring. I'm done with you crazy ass f*ckers. Done." [Eric winks at him and stands up. Sookie, Bill and Lafayette leave]
Episode 4: Shake and Fingerpop
[Eric appears suddenly at Lafayette's window]
Eric: "Good evening Lafayette."
Lafayette: [scrambles scared off his couch onto the floor] "No. You can't come in my house unless I invite you in and I ain't nowhere near that crazy."
Eric: "You have to come out eventually. I have all the time in the world."
Lafayette: "You let me go!"
Eric: "I gave you a very generous gift. The gift of not killing you. And I am here to give you something else. [lifts up his sleeve revealing his wrist] The healing elixir that is my thousand year old blood."
Lafayette: "I..I don't think that's a good idea."
Eric: "Your leg's already infected I can smell it. You don't get that taken care of you could lose it."
Lafayette: "Why do you wanna give me your blood?"
Eric: [leans in through the window] "I like you."
Lafayette: "Bullshit. You wanna be able to keep track of me, why?"
Eric: "You obviously mean something to Sookie. And what Sookie finds meaningful, I find... curious. You really have no choice Lafayette. [raises an eyebrow] You know it."
Lafayette: "F*ck." [gets up to let Eric in, Eric smirks]
[Lafayette is drinking from Eric's wrist]
Eric: "That's enough. [hits him away] Don't get greedy. [his phone rings and he answers] You were supposed to call me the minute you arrived."
Bill: "We were ambushed at the airport."
Eric: "By whom?"
Bill: "You know exactly by whom Eric. The Fellowship of the Sun. Why didn't you tell me they were involved."
Eric: "I didn't know for sure. Now I do."
Bill: "You could of shared your suspicions with me."
Eric: "I could've but i didn't. You should remember that I am your sheriff Bill, we are not equal, and if that displeases you take it up with the Magister, or the Queen. [hangs up the phone, turns around in his chair to see Lafayette dancing about] How's your leg?"
Lafayette: "Shit, I just wanna f*ckin' dance."
Eric: "How nice for you. Well I must fly." [leaves the house]
[Bill and Sookie are kissing on the hotel room bed, there's a knock at the door]
Eric: "It's Eric, you wanted to talk?"
Bill: [sighs] "This is important." [Sookie keeps kissing him]
Eric: "Meet me in the bar." [Bill gets up to leave]
Sookie: [sighs] "Fudge."
Eric: "I admire you Bill. It takes a real vampire to admit he cannot protect his human."
Bill: "And it takes a true monster to not care about anyone or anything other than himself."
Eric: "I care about others."
Bill: "You care about Godric. [Eric looks at him] You have no obligations to Dallas or Texas. This is personal for you, why?" [waitress brings Bill a Tru:Blood]
Eric: "I hope you'll enjoy your blood substitute which is costing me 45 dollars."
Bill: "Oh I have no intention of drinking it... I just want you to pay for it."
Eric: "Oh you're so mature."
Bill: "Answer the question. Why this allegiance to Godric?"
Eric: "He is much beloved by his subjects."
Bill: "Only Kings and Queens have subjects Eric, not sheriffs."
Eric: [sharp] "Godric could of been King of Texas had he wanted. He could have been King of any vampire territory anywhere. He is twice as old as i am and very powerful. There are none above him in the new world."
Bill: "Well if he's so powerful how could they abduct him?"
Eric: "Now that is what worries me. If one such as he can be taken by humans, then none of us is safe." [they stare at each other]
Bill: "What can i give you to release Sookie from her agreement?"
Eric: "Nothing. And since you like humans so much I'd think you would want to protect them. The vampires here they're like cowboys. If they don't get Godric back they'll want justice. They'll start attacking people."
Bill: "Open agression against humans that's insane."
Eric: "Well, it's Texas."
Episode 5: Never Let Me Go
Stan: "You should of told me Eric hired a f*ckin' human Isabel."
Sookie: "Now wait just a minute."
Bill: [about Sookie] "Respect her!"
Sookie: [to Bill] "Thank you."
Isabel: "I couldn't tell you Stan, you've been off on your own for days."
Eric: "Are you certain Godric was abducted by The Fellowship of the Sun?"
Isabel: [simultaneously with Stan] "No!"
Stan: [simultaneously with Isabel] "Yes! They are the only ones with the organisation and man power."
Isabel: "But they're amatures, it doesn't make any sense. This is Godric we're talking about, two thousand years old." [Sookie mouths two thousand to Bill]
Stan: "Old don't make you smart."
Isabel: "Besides, there's no proof."
Sookie: "If they've got him I'll hear it, that's my job."
Stan: "There's no reason to wait. We need to take these fanatics down, full out attack. Exterminate them like the vermin they are, leave no trace."
Isabel: "Hmm, vampire hating church annihilated. Wonder who did it? F*cking brillaint!"
Bill: "I doubt the King of Texas would approve the destruction of our international political agenda."
Stan: "F*ck that. The Great Revelation is the biggest mistake we ever made."
Isabel: "Don't use Godric to make your own little power play."
Eric: [furious] "You're completely incompetent! What's happened to Godric that he surrounds himself with clowns?"
Isabel: "We invited you as a courtesy. This is not your territory, you have no voice here."
Stan: "Yeah sheriff. Why don't you run on back down to Louisiana. We don't need you or your puppets."
Eric: "Oh I'm not going anywhere."
Sookie: "And I'm nobody's puppet."
Bill: "What we need is a plan."
Stan: "I have a plan!"
Isabel: "It's not a plan it's a movie!"
Stan: "It's not a movie... it's a war."
Eric: [looking furiously at Stan, behind gritted teeth] "Idiots."
Stan: "We take them all out at once, preemptive strike!"
Isabel: "Of course, so the federal government can bomb us back into the middle ages."
Stan: "Hah, things were better then."
Isabel: "Then go to Romania and live in a cave you ranchero poser!"
Eric: [throws a vase across the room, furious] "Godric has protected you! Made you rich, and you stand there spitting and scratching like infants!"
Bill: "Don't any of you care that there's a traitor in your midst?"
Stan: [disbelieving] "No."
Isabel: "Impossible."
Sookie: "Someone tried to kidnap me from the airport."
Bill: "You were the only ones that knew she was coming."
Eric: "Explain."
Stan: [to Isabel] "Unless it was you."
Isabel: [cutting him off fast, to Stan] "Unless it was you!"
Sookie: "Look if y'all argue anymore I'm either gonna fall asleep or start screaming, so this is what we're gonna do. I'll infiltrate The Fellowship of the Sun."
Bill: "Absolutely not!"
Eric: "Let her speak." [Stan grumbles]
Sookie: "Since Bill glamoured the kidnapper no one there knows who I am, I'll pretend I wanna join the church and check out all their thoughts."
Bill: "No. During the day none of us can help you."
Sookie: "It'll only take a little while. Really Bill it's simple."
Stan: [starts to leave] "Waste of time. Or we could drink them all. I want no part of this." [leaves]
Isabel: "There's no easier way to find out if they're involved."
Eric: "If it leads us to Godric we'll do it. The decision is made."
Bill: [to Eric] "A few words." [they both leave the room]
[Eric and Bill enter a different room]
Bill: "You knew it would come to this. She was just clawed and poisoned by a creature we don't know, and we can't find. And now, in Dallas you're playing with her life."
Eric: "It's no game to me."
Bill: "All this for a colleague? For the sheriff of Area 9? Why?"
[flashback scene to Eric's past as a viking warrior, all in Swedish]
*still working on proper Swedish script and translations*
Eric: "Go on. I'm finished. Go on."
Warrior 1: "No."
Warrior 2: "Eric... you saved our lives a hundred times. We won't leave you to be eaten by wolves."
Warrior 1: "We'll wait for the end by your side. We'll give you a hero's farewell. The God's wait for you in Valhalla."
Warrior 2: "There will be a party with meat... and gold... and beer.
Warrior 1: "And women? Will there be women?"
Eric: "Wherever I am... there will always be women." [the others laugh and help him to his feet]
Warrior 1: [to Eric lying on his funeral pyre] "All will be well. Don't be afraid."
Eric: "I'm not afraid. I'm pissed off."
Warrior 2: [hears a noise] "Who's there? Show yourself!" [both men are suddenly killed and a boy crouches down beside Eric]
Eric: "Are you Death?"
Godric: "I am."
Eric: "But you're just a little boy."
Godric: "I'm not."
Eric: "My men..."
Godric: "Dead."
Eric: "You swine."
Godric: "I watched you on the battlefield last night. I never saw anyone fight like you."
Eric: "I would fight you know if I could."
Godric: [laughing] "I know. It's beautiful."
Eric: "What are you waiting for? Kill me."
Godric: "Could you be a companion of Death? Could you walk with me through the world... through the dark? I'll teach you all I know. I'll be your father, your brother, your child."
Eric: "What's in it for me?"
Godric: "What you love most, life."
Eric: "Life." [Godric bites Eric to turn him]
[the scene returns to present day]
Eric: [to Bill] "Godric is my maker."
Episode 6: Hard-Hearted Hannah
[Eric is feeding from a blood hooker]
Blood hooker: "Oh, ohh, oh that's it baby."
Eric: [stops feeding] "Baby? [pushes her away] I'm over a thousand years old."
Blood hooker: "Are you not having a good time?"
Eric: "There's just not much thrill left in feeding on the willing." [someone's approaching]
Blood hooker: "Then should I try pretending.. not to want it?"
Eric: "Only if you're very, very, good at it." [she nods, Eric quickly grabs her and resumes feeding]
Blood hooker: [very unconvincingly] "Stop. Get off mee! Ew, sick.. blood sucking bastard." [makes little whiney noises, Eric stops feeding and acknowledges the approaching person's presence]
Eric: [to the blood hooker] "Off you go. [she gets up and starts to leave] Tell your manager you were magnificent, I'll back up your story if he calls." [she smiles and leaves, to the approaching person] I was beginning to think you weren't going to accept my invitation Lorena." [turns to face her]
Lorena: "For a vampire.. you're a terrible liar."
Eric: "I considered booking you in the room adjoining theirs, but I thought that might be a bit.. over the top."
Lorena: "Why am I here, Mr. Northman?"
Eric: "We want the same thing you and I. [she just looks at him] Okay, Bill has something I want and he's in the way."
Lorena: [knowingly] "His human?"
Eric: "No she's something more than human."
Lorena: "What is she?"
Eric: "And that I do not know. But whatever she is, he loves her."
Lorena: "What makes you think, I want him back? That I'd even take him?"
Eric: "Because you didn't come all this way just to see me."
Lorena: [somewhat angry] "I haven't seen Bill Compton in over seventy years, surely you can't think i have any pull over him what so ever."
Eric: "I haven't seen my maker for much longer than that, and yet I am still loyal to him. Fiercely loyal."
Lorena: "Shame I didn't turn you. Then again, you're not really my type."
Episode 7: Release Me
Eric: "You've got to be joking me. This is The Fellowship of the Sun? That's their army, scared little boys with bibles and crossbows?"
Isabel: "Don't underestimate them. Support for their movement is growing. Their leadership camps are overflowing with self righteous extremists, all willing and ready to die for their cause."
Eric: "Hmm, that can be arranged quite easily."
Isabel: "Not until we know for sure the Fellowship has Godric."
Eric: "What about your boy, Hugo? And Sookie? They've been in there too long."
Isabel: "There's no sign of alarm, and if Hugo were in serious danger I would know it. I felt something earlier but it passed, he's okay now."
Eric: "Tell me. What is it that you find so fulfilling about human companionship?"
Isabel: "They feel much more strongly than we do, everything is urgent, exciting. Maybe because their lives are so temporary."
Eric: "Yes, they certainly don't keep well. Don't you find the prospect of him growing old, sickly, crippled somewhat uh.. repulsive?"
Isabel: "No. I find it curious. Like a science project. How does Bill Compton feel about your interest in Sookie?"
Eric: "I am not interested in Sookie. And even less in how Bill Compton feels. My only interest is finding Godric."
Isabel: [looks at him] "Of course."
Eric: "Don't look at me like that. Do you really believe these fools could overpower a vampire such as Godric, and hold him for weeks?
Isabel: "Stan is sure of it. But I have known Godric a long time, it's hard to imagine anything could overpower him."
Eric: [staring towards the Fellowship's church] "Not anything human."
Stan: [about Hugo and Sookie] "Maybe the little rats have run off, joined the Fellowship themselves."
Isabel: "Careful, Hugo is mine."
Stan: "Oh please. You cared about him so much we'd a been in that church hours ago."
Isabel: "With no plan, no exit srategy? That's why you'll never be sheriff Stan you don't think."
Stan: "And you're too chicken shit to act. That's why you've been gettin' Godric's coffee for the last 40 years. [to Eric] And you.. Fellowship has your maker and your telepath and still, you do nothin'.
Eric: [turns quickly and pins Stan against the wall] "Are you questioning my loyalty Stan?"
Stan: "Just trying to return Godric to his rightful position."
Eric: "Oh really? Cause I think maybe you have another agenda. [he lets Stan go] Maybe you think starting a war with the Fellowship will distract us from the truth. That you're so starved for power you murdered Godric for his title."
Stan: "That is a lie. How dare you accuse me."
Isabel: "Eric, we don't know this. There's no proof."
Eric: "Not yet. But I will find it.. And when I do.. There will be no mercy. In the meantime, you two can stand here and quibble over his position. Or run into that church and kill them all, I no longer care. [turns away as blood tears start to form] If Godric is gone. [blood tear streams down his face] Nothing will bring back what I have lost." [goes into his room]
Episode 8: Timebomb
[Godric has just saved Sookie down in the Fellowship church's basement]
Godric: [to Sookie] "You should not have come." [he senses another vampire]
Sookie: "Bill!?"
Godric: "No. I'm here my child. Down here." [Eric appears in the room and speeds towards him]
Eric: "Godric." [kneels down in front of him]
Godric: "You are a fool for sending humans after me."
Eric: "I had no other choice, these savages they.. [looks up at Godric] They seek to destroy you."
Godric: "I am aware of what they have planned. [looking towards Hugo] This one betrayed you."
Sookie: "He's with the Fellowship. They set a trap for us."
Eric: [to Godric] "How long has it been since you've fed."
Godric: "I require very little blood anymore. [alarm siren starts going off] Save the human, go on."
Eric: "I am not leaving you're side until you're.."
Godric: [cutting Eric off] "I can take care of myself."
Sookie: "Come on, we have to go!"
Godric: "Spill no blood on your way out. Go" [Eric stands and leaves the basement with Sookie]
Eric: [looking around the church, to Sookie] "I could have you out in seconds."
Sookie: "There's kids out there."
Eric: "Now those humans wouldn't think twice about hurting us."
Sookie: "Why didn't you bring Bill with you."
Eric: "His attachment to you is irrational. It clouds his judgement. He would kill every child in this church to save you."
Sookie: "Why aren't you?"
Eric: [looks at her] "I'm following Godric's orders and getting you out, that's all."
Sookie: "He's your maker isn't he?"
Eric: "Don't use words you don't understand."
Sookie: "You have a lot of love for him."
Eric: "Don't use words I don't understand. [looks back towards the church entrance hall]
Kyle: [about the church doors] "Let's lock it up! Keep quiet! Alright, lock it up. Nobody comes through here." [Eric goes to walk towards the three church members, Kyle, Brent and Rich]
Sookie: "Eric no!"
Eric: [turns back and goes right up to Sookie's ear] "Trust me. [walks out towards the three members, puts on a geeky act and voice] Oh, hey y'all, how's it goin'? Steve sent me over to man the exit here. Think I can take it from here."
Kyle: "By yourself?"
Eric: "Uh, yeah."
Kyle: "You're big n'all but there's a vampire on the loose."
Eric: "Oh."
Brent: "Where's your stake?"
Eric: "Och, dang. I forgot. [Kyle is suspicious, starts moving to Eric's back] Maybe I can borrow yours if.. if that's okay."
Brent: "I can't do that. Get your own"
Eric: [returning to his normal voice, glamouring Brent] "I'd very much, like to borrow your stake."
Brent: "Yeah, yeah that'd be okay I guess." [hands Eric the stake, as Eric goes to take it Kyle attempts to stake him]
Sookie: [yelling] "Stake!!" [Eric quickly turns and punches Kyle to the ground, he does the same to Brent. As Rich goes to stake him, Eric grabs him by the throat and points the stake to Rich's neck, Sookie rushes over] Eric! You don't have to kill him." [Eric throws the stake to the ground and releases Rich]
Eric: [to Sookie] "Come on." [they go to leave through the front door but see armed Fellowship members approaching]
Rich: "Those arrows are wood. You'll never make it through."
Sookie: "Eric, through the sanctuary." [they enter the sanctuary and start walking through]
Eric: "Where's the exit?"
Sookie: "Back that way."
Steve: "There are several exits, actually. For you, the easiest one takes you straight to hell." [dozens of Fellowship members enter the room]
Sookie: "Let us leave. [to everyone] Save yourselves. No one has to die."
Steve: "The war has begun you evil whore of Satan. You vampires cast the first stone by killing my family. The lines have been drawn. You're either with us, or against us. We are prepared for Armageddon."
Sookie: "The vampire you're holding pisoner got away. He's a sheriff. He's bound to send for help."
Steve: "I'm not concerned with Godric. Any vampire will do for our grand celebration, and we got one right here." [pointing to Eric. Sookie looks at Eric, he looks back]
Eric: "I'll be fine." [walks towards Steve and the altar]
Steve: "Brothers and sisters, there will be a holy bonfire at dawn." [laughs]
[Eric is strapped to the altar with silver, groaning in pain]
Steve: "You see. Just as our Lord our saviour was betrayed for 30 pieces of silver, a few ounces of silver can vetray a child of Satan to the world!"
Sookie: "That doesn't make any sense. How can you people listen to him?"
Eric: "I... I offer myself in exchange for Godric's freedom. And the girl's, as well."
[After the vampire-Fellowship confrontation in the sanctuary]
Eric: [to Sookie] "Are you sure you're okay?"
Bill: [angry] "She's fine! Go with your maker."
[comes face to face with Jason in Godric's nest]
Eric: "Hail the conquering hero."
Jason: "Aw, no. I'm no hero."
Eric: "No, you are in this town. But in my area we know you well as a buyer and user of vampire blood. And that's a very grave offence."
Jason: "Yeah, listen. I.. I don't do that no more."
Eric: "All things considered however, we'll call it even. [Jason nods, smiles and goes to walk past Eric] But you won't be doing it again."
Jason: [nods] "Yeah."
Eric: [shakes his head, correcting] "No."
Jason: "No. No [shakes his head] Got it."
Eric: "Good boy. Run along." [Jason smiles and walks past him uneasy, Eric smiles, pleased with himself]
[Sookie is talking to Bill about why he didn't come and save her]
Sookie: "What kept you?"
Bill: "I.. I was held."
Sookie: "Held? Like kidnapped? By who? By Eric?" [Eric walks over to them]
Eric: "Mmm, heard my name. I hope you were speaking well of me?"
Sookie: "Why should I? You let me walk into a trap."
Eric: "I regret that. If I had known it was a possibility.."
Sookie: [cutting him off] "You did know. But because it was Godric, you'd risk anything."
Eric: "The bond between a vampire and his maker is stronger than you can imagine. Perhaps one day you'll find out."
[Bill grabs Eric's arm as he's walking past]
Eric: [turning to look at Bill] "I don't like being touched."
Bill: "Oh, believe me I do not like touching you. [lets go of his arm] Your contact with Sookie will cease from this moment."
Eric: "Oh that's hardly your decision."
Bill: "Callin' in my maker 'cause you couldn't win Sookie for yourself... is feeble and desperate, even for you."
Eric: [smiling] "Are you picking a fight? I'd like to see you try."
Bill: "She will never be yours. And there is nothin' you can do. In this you are powerless. Accept it."
Eric: [walking over to Godric] "Hugo's been dispatched. [crouching down in front of Godric] I told him not to stop driving until he reaches the Mexican border. I've arranged for an AB-negative human for you. Extremely rare."
Godric: "Thank you. But I'm not hungry."
Eric: "You have to feed eventually. I doubt the Fellowship had anything to offer. Why wouldn't you leave when I first came for you?"
Godric: "They didn't treat me badly. You'd be shocked at how ordinary most of them are."
Eric: "They do nothing but fan the flames of hatred for us."
Godric: "Let's be honest. We are frightening. After thousands of years we haven't evolved. We've only grown more brutal, more predatory. I don't see the danger in treating humans as equals. The Fellowship of the Sun arose because we never did so."
Eric: "Is that why you wouldn't fight when they took you?"
Godric: "I could of killed every last one of them within minutes. And what would that have proven?" [Eric just looks at him]
Episode 9: I Will Rise Up
[Bill's searching for Sookie in the rubble after the bomb explosion]
Bill: [shouting] "Sookie!?"
Sookie: "Bill." [Bill sees Eric lying on top of Sookie, goes over and takes her hand]
Eric: "I covered her. She's only stunned. [Sookie nods] Get the humans."
Sookie: [pushing Eric off of her] "I can't breathe, you weigh a ton. [she sits up, shouting] Jason!? Jason! [Jason stands up at the other side of the room and gives her thumbs up]
Jason: "Okay."
Sookie: [looks at Eric who's wounded] "Uh oh."
Eric: "Had to shield you."
Sookie: "Well hurry up and heal yourself, what are you waiting for?"
Eric: [weakly] "Can't. Silver."
Sookie: [starts to stand up] "I'll go get Godric." [Eric grabs her]
Eric: "No time. S..suck it, out."
Sookie: "Eric I can't. It's, too gross and, it's.. you."
Eric: [weakly] "I..dying." [the arm that was holding Sookie falls to the floor]
Sookie: "Aww, son of a mother.. [starts sucking a bullet from Eric's neck, she spits it onto the floor] Got it!"
Eric: [pointing to his chest] "Other one."
Sookie: "You're kidding me. [Eric makes little noises of pain] Ohh, fff..." [Sookie cringes and starts sucking out the other bullet, Eric looks at her and then looks away smirking, pleased with himself]
[Bill enters the nest and sees Sookie sucking on Eric's chest]
Bill: "What are you doin'?"
Sookie: [spits a bullet to the floor] "I sucked silver out of Eric's chest and saved his life, even though I really didn't want to."
Eric: "She was superb."
Bill: [looks partly sad and disappointed] "Eric was in no danger."
Sookie: "He... what?"
Eric: "A tiny falsehood."
Bill: "He was already healing. The bullets would of pushed themselves out. This was he's... forced you to drink his blood."
Sookie: [mad] "No! [looks at Eric] No. No!"
Bill: "You're connected. He'll be able to sense your emotions."
Sookie: [mad, to Eric] "You big lying A-hole!"
Eric: "Bill you're right I believe I can sense her emotions." [Sookie pounds his stomach with her fist then runs and clinds to Bill] Sweet."
Sookie: "I'll never do anything for you again. Monster!" [Eric quickly stands]
Bill: [to Sookie] "It's not your fault."
Eric: [dry sarcasm] "I think I'm gonna cry."
[Sookie's dream, her and Eric are lying in bed]
Eric: "Finish your sentence."
Sookie: "What was I saying?"
Eric: "You were telling me why you would be a terrible vampire, and I was disagreeing."
Sookie: "Well, I don't feel right without a tan. [Eric laughs] It's true and, I'd rather be alive than undead. Then y'all are always killin'."
Eric: "You've killed a man."
Sookie: "That was for self defense, not for lunch."
Eric: "But you'd adapt. Like we all do. Trade the sun for moon and stars."
Sookie: "Uh uh. Not me, I want 'em all."
Eric: [laughing] "Oh, greedy."
Sookie: "Yeah, I am."
Eric: "I love it. You have the right temperament for a vampire."
Sookie: "What? I'm high maintenance, blood thirsty, and old as dirt?"
Eric: "Ah, blood thirsty, yeah."
Sookie: [smiling] "I am not."
Eric: [smiling] "Everybody thinks you're a darling, don't they?"
Sookie: "I am a darling."
Eric: "Ah, but you're ruthless when it comes to the people you love. [stroking her back] You'd do anything for them. [Sookie giggles] Your brother, your friends.. me."
Lorena: [from out of frame] "Bill."
Sookie: [sits up a little] "Bill. [Eric starts kissing her neck] Where's Bill?"
Lorena: "What do you care? You've already abandoned him."
Sookie: "I have not. I love Bill."
Eric: [pulling Sookie back down] "I used to think you had no sense of humour."
Sookie: "I used to think you were made of cold hard stone, and empty inside."
Eric: "But now?"
Sookie: "You're a big faker. [laughs] You're deep. You feel. There's love in you."
Eric: "Only for Sookie." [they kiss]
Lorena: "You don't want Bill. He means nothin' to you."
Sookie: [sits up again] "No."
Eric: [pulls her back to him] "This is the beginning."
[at the Hotel Camilla]
Nan: [to all vampires in attendance] "Do you have any f*cking idea of the PR mess you've made? And who has to f*cking clean that shit up. Me, not you, me. We should drain every one of you bastards."
Eric: "Stan went to the church on his own. None os us knew anything about it."
Nan: "Oh really? Because everyone who met Stan in the last three hundred years, knew that he had a kink about slaughtering humans. But you, his nest mates, his sheriff, had no clue."
Isabel: "And how were we supposed to know that this time he meant it."
Nan: "Not my problem. [to Godric] Yours."
Eric: [irritated] "Don't talk to him that way."
Nan: "Don't talk to me that way. [to Godric] Let's get to the point. How'd they manage to abduct you."
Godric: "They would of taken one of us sooner or later. I offered myself."
Nan: "Why?"
Godric: "Why not?"
Nan: "They wanted you to meet the sun and you were willing?"
Godric: "What do you think?"
Nan: "I think you're out of your mind. And then I hear about a traitor."
Godric: "Irrelevant. Only a rumour. I'll take full responsibility."
Nan: "You bet you will."
Eric: "You cold bitch."
Nan: "Listen. This is a national vampire disaster, and nobody at the top has any sympathy for any of you. Sheriff you've f*cked up, you're fired."
Godric: "I agree. Of course. Isabel should take over, she had no part in my disgrace."
Isabel: "Godric, fight back!"
Eric: [about Nan] "What are you saying, she's a bureaucrat, you don't have to take shit from her."
Nan: "You wanna lose your Area viking?"
Eric: "Oh you don't have that kind of power."
Nan: "Hey I'm on TV. Try me."
Eric: [to Godric, knowing what he is about to do] "No."
Godric: "Look in my heart."
Eric: "You have to listen to me."
Godric: "There's nothing to say."
Eric: "There is."
Godric: "On the roof." [Godric leaves]
Bill: [to Eric] "We have a score to settle."
Eric: [as he turns to face Bill] "Not now."
Bill: "Yes, now." [he punches Eric] Have I made my point."
Eric: [about Sookie] "It's done. I'm part of her now. [Bill still stands in front of him] Get out of the way." [he steps aside and Eric leaves]
[Godric and Eric are on the hotel roof]
Godric: "Two thousand years is enough."
Eric: "I can't accept this. It's insanity!"
Godric: "Our existence is insanity. We don't belong here."
Eric: [shouting] "But we are here!"
Godric: "It's not right. We're not right."
Eric: "You taught me there is no right and wrong, only survival, or death."
Godric: "I told a lie, as it turns out."
Eric: "I will keep you alive by force."
Godric: "Even if you could. Why would you be so cruel?"
Eric: [getting upset] "Godric, gör det inte." (Godric, don't do it)
Godric: "Vi har haft århundraden av kärlek och tillit till varandra." (We have centuries of love and trust between us)
Eric: [crying] "Å snälla, snälla. [falls to his knees] Snäll, snälla, Godric." (Please, please. Please, Godric)
Godric: "Fader, broder, son (Father, brother, son) Let me go."
Eric: "I won't let you die alone."
Godric: "Yes you will. [Eric cries again, Godric stroked his head and Eric looks up at him] As your maker. I command you." [Eric stands and turns to leave]
Episode 10: New World in My View
[Sookie enters Eric's room]
Sookie: "Eric?"
Eric: [bereaved] "Godric is gone."
Sookie: "I know. I'm so sorry."
Episode 11: Frenzy
[Lafayette is seeing Lettie Mae as Eric]
Eric: "And that's why I'm gonna have to kill you." [pointing a shotgun at Lafayette]
Lafayette: [cowering behind a chair, scared] "Oh, Jesus."
Eric: "I thought you wanted to be a vampire. [Lafayette's shaking, Eric crouches down still pointing the gun at him] You know how you feel with my blood inside you? Now being a vampire is like that.. times a million. [Lafayette is still shaking] Goodbye sweetheart. [Eric pulls the trigger, nothing happens and Lafayette snaps out of his vision]
[Sam is in Fangtasia with Arlene's kids Coby and Lisa, talking to Eric]
Eric: "Why should I help you...shifter."
Sam: Because, I need your help. We need it. And hopefully some day I might be able to give you something you need."
Eric: "Can you give me Sookie Stackhouse?" [Pam rolls her eyes]
Sam: "No."
Eric: "Well that's a shame. That would be a tribute I would not soon forget."
Sam: "I'm not here to give you tribute, Eric."
Eric: "No, you're here to request my help based on a hypothetical future in which you return the favour. But you are known to not be friendly towards those like me. Why should I trust you?"
Sam: "Because, until somebody starts trusting somebody, we're all single targets. Just ripe for the picking."
Eric: "I have no knowledge of this Maenad creature. Although I suspect it's the bull headed beast that passed through here recently, right Pam?"
Pam: "That thing owes me a pair of shoes."
Sam: "So can you help us or not?"
Eric: "I do know someone who might be able to offer something useful. Might, be able to."
Coby: [to Eric] "Can wee see your fangs?" [Eric obliges, Coby leans forward curious, while Lisa leans back a little wary]
Eric: "Don't you like vampires little girl?"
Sam: [warning] "Eric!"
Lisa: "Our almost step daddy hated vampires, but we don't."
Coby: " He went on a vacation with Jesus."
Pam: "You make me so happy I never had any of you."
Eric: "Aw, come on Pam they're funny. They're like humans but miniature. Teacup humans."
Pam: [in Swedish] "I hate them. They're so stupid."
Eric: [in Swedish] "But delicious."
Sam: "So can you call this other person, who might be able to.."
Eric: "Better yet, I'll go see her. But I must leave right away."
Sam: "No problem."
Eric: "I'll walk you out."
Pam: [in Swedish] "Please get those horrible things out of here. I'll be smelling them for a week." [Eric laughs as he leaves]
Sam: [out in the parking lot, to Eric] "You have my cell phone number."
Eric: "I'll let you know if I learn anything of use to you. [bends down to Coby and Lisa] Goodnight tiny humans. [winks at them and flys off, the two kids stare up shocked]
Coby: "Woahh! He can fly!"
[at the Queen's home]
Bill: [to Eric] "What are you doing here?"
Eric: "Hoping the Queen can tell me how to kick a Maenad's ass."
Bill: "Now why would you wanna do that? So that you'll look like a hero to Sookie?"
Eric: [fixing his hair] "Ohh Billy. This paranoia, it's really quite unbecoming. Has she uh, mentioned me?"
Bill: "No. That was really quite desperate of you. Tricking her into drinking your blood so that she became attracted to you."
Eric: "Unlike you who fed her your own blood the very night you met."
Bill: "How do you know that?"
Eric: "So you're not denying it?"
Bill: "I was saving her life."
Eric: "Isn't that convenient?"
Bill: [seething] "You stay away from Sookie, Eric. Or I will tell the Queen that you're forcing humans to sell vampire blood for you."
Eric: "You wouldn't."
Bill: "I won't. As long as you never come close to Sookie ever again."
Eric: [warning] "I don't like threats Bill."
Bill: "Neither do I." [Bill leaves and Eric continues into the Queen's home]
Episode 12: Beyond Here Lies Nothin'
[Eric, Queen Sophie-Anne, Hadley and Ludis are all playing Yahtzee]
Eric: [after seeing his dice] "Hmm. How long does this game go on for?"
Sophie-Anne: "We play to five million."
Hadley: "She's way ahead."
Sophie-Anne: "It's pure luck. Yahtzee is the most egalitarian game in the world. You could be my [points at Eric] social, [points at Hadley] physical or [points at Ludis] intellectual inferior, but your chances are equal to mine. It's the perfect antidote for this world, where things such as superiority and inferiority do matter. [to Eric] Oh, uh, speaking of which, I heard about your maker. That blows."
Eric: "Thank you. Your Majesty is very kind.."
Sophie-Anne: [cutting him off] "Yahtzee!"
Hadley: [disbelieving] "That's six in a row."
Ludis: "It is a magic."
Sophie-Anne: [angry] "I do not cheat. What would be the point. [to Eric] I'm sorry, you were saying?"
Eric: "I was just saying thank you, your Majesty's very kind.."
Sophie-Anne: [cutting him off again] "Oh yes! Now I remember. Did you know that there's a Maenad in Renard Parish?"
Eric: "Yes. That is the reason I came to see you your Majesty."
Sophie-Anne: "I wouldn't get involved if I were you. Stick to what you're good at. I gave William Compton a few bits of hand me down folklore we've accumulated over the centuries but, who knows if it's gospel or gorilla shit. You know I think he's monogamous with his human." [raises an eyebrow]
Eric: "He is in love with her, yes."
Hadley: [surprised] "He is?" [Sophie-Anne glares at her and Hadley looks away]
Sophie-Anne: "Well, course he would be with her. You probably are too."
Eric: "I do not love humans."
Sophie-Anne: "She's not entirely human. Have you tasted her?"
Eric: "Sadly no."
Sophie-Anne: "Don't. Ever. One vampire falling in love is bad enough."
Eric: "Yes, Bill Compton certainly has a knack for finding trouble."
Sophie-Anne: "Hmm, for instince. How does he know I'm having you sell vampire blood? [Eric looks at her] The guards hear everything."
Eric: "Your Majesty I'm sorry. There's no way he could've.."
Sophie-Anne: [cuts him off] "That, is really bad."
Eric: [leans in towards her] "He does not know that you are supplying it."
Sophie-Anne: [extends her fangs, knocks Eric over and pins him to the floor] "He better not. I'm holding you responsible. [she kisses him, Eric extends his fangs] Ahh, there they are. Aren't yours lovely? You may be the strongest, oldest vampire in my Queendom. But if I wanted, I could own your fangs as earrings, understand?"
Eric: "I will take care of Bill Compton. Personally." | |  | TV title:
Generation Kill
(2008)
Character name:
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert | Episode 1: Get Some
Brad: "See anything Garza?"
Garza: "Something at one o'clock."
Brad: "Four T-55s at one o'clock. Two kliks."
Ray: "Hitman. This is Hitman Two One. Enemy contact, four T-55s, one o'clock, two kliks. How copy?"
Brad: "Garza, contact right! Enemy foot-mobiles, four o'clock, 300 metres, by the berm. This is Hitman Two One. Roger that." [plane flies over]
Misfit: [over comms] "Misfit Two One, cleared hot. Missile away."
Ray: [as the plane drops the missile] "Yeahh, get some!"
Brad: "Watch your sector."
Misfit: [over comms] "Misfit Two Two, cleared hot. Missile away."
Trombley: "Is there any contact on the left?"
Brad: "Contact right. RPG team, two o'clock, 500 metres, behind the truck."
Trombley: "Shit. [talking to his gun] We'll get some later." [Garza and the other teams shoot at the truck, it explodes]
Ray: "We barbecued them hajjis." [a truck goes off the road]
Hitman: [over comms] "Echo Four Lima is down, over."
Garza: "Lilley is hit, he's hit. He's stopping."
Brad: "Two One Alpha, interrogative."
[to Lt. Fick] "Sir, not to question the S.O.P but, if we have a disabled vehicle, the nearest element could stop and evaluate the marines, while other elements push through and provide support by fire."
Espera: "A Blue Force Tracker, oh ho shit."
Brad: [looking at the GPS screen] "Downtown Baghdad. Safwan Hill. The entire AO."
Espera: [impressed] "You are the Iceman, dog! You're up here in the 21st century, we're all back there in the stone age, man."
Brad: [looking at the screen again, proud] "Third infantry to the east, us, our neighbours to the north, and the Euphrates bridge. Our objective."
Sgt. Maj. Sixta: [approaching the Humvee, to Ray] "Jesus Christ! What is you some kind of goddamn hippy f*ggot?! F*ck is this? Damn it all. Why the f*ck is your shirt out of regulation?" [Brad walks up]
Brad: "Sergeant Major, is there a problem? My Marines have been working on that Humvee all morning."
Sgt. Maj. Sixta: "I don't care if your Marine has a sucking chest wound! He will not traipse around on the deck with his shirttailes hanging out! Might just NJP all your asses!"
Brad: "Yes Sergeant Major. [to Ray] Corporal Person, be advised, you are expected to conduct all business in this camp in compliance with the grooming standards, under direct order from the Batallion Commander himself." [Ray tucks in his shirt, Sixta nods in approval satisfied, and moves to his next victim]
Sgt. Maj. Sixta: "Sergeant Patrick, your moustache hairs is in violations. Growing beyond the corner of your mouth. I hear Godfather his self say, you look like a bum. Police that moustache! Y'all starting to look like Elvises!" [he walks off, Ray untucks his shirt]
Brad: [to Ray] "Don't push our luck."
Brad: "So on the CEOI they have the escorts listed as no encryption, but they're covered right?
Ray: "yeah, you can't do one frequency plain. Doesn't matter on the one thirteens anyway because they only go to six.." [shamal blast tears open the tent]
"Christeson, show Rolling Stone magazine where to stow his shit."
[Brad continues to look for his turret, questioning someone at Battalion]
Brad: "It's titanium. 16 Pounds, about yea big? Should have been shipped weeks ago and I was starting to wonder if it was shortstopped at Batallion somewhere."
Battalion guy: [not understanding] "A shield?"
Brad: "For the main gunner, yeah." [Rudy approaches]
Rudy: "Sergeant Colbert. It's important." [Rudy takes Brad back to the tent]
Brad: [entering the tent, to everyone] "Gentlemen." [Ray's holding a cloth to his face]
Walt: "The stove underneath of Rudy's espresso pot went off like a 40 mike-mike."
Espera: "Flamed white boy's face like a rotisserie chicken."
Brad: "Let me understand this. My RTO has just been burned, in his tent, by an exploding portable stove. And without my RTO, I will be going to war unable to quickly and effectively establish radio communications within our unit, with other elements of the Battalion, and with close air support. Is this what is happening?"
Espera: "That, and they're probably gonna NJP all our asses for operating a stove in the tent against the regs."
Brad: "Over an espresso maker. This platoon is going down... over an espresso maker."
[buying things at the PX]
Evan: "Triple A batteries. Dip, Skoal and Copenhagen. Baby wipes, various flavoued Pringles in a can and, adult diapers. As requested. Why do you need me to get you all this stuff?"
Brad: "In the infinite wisdom of whoever runs the military post-exchange stores, they won't sell this stuff in quantity to actual military personnel. For civilians like yourself, the sky's the limit."
Evan: "And why is that?"
Ray: "To keep us angry. If Marines could get what they need, when they needed it, we would be happy, and we wouldn't be ready to kill people all the time. See, the Marine Corps like America's little pit bull. They beat us, mistreat us, and once in a while they let us out to attack somebody."
Evan: [to Brad] "What's the big deal with the batteries?"
Brad: "They're for our pec-twos and NVGs, our night vision. Battalion didn't bring enough batteries, we had to ration them."
Ray: "Battalion didn't bring enough of anything that matters. They don't even have enough f*ckin' maps."
Brad: "The army goes to war, they bring it all. But Marines, we make do."
Ray: "No maps. No batteries. We keep trying to get this shit mailed to us but nothing ever comes. F*ck if Colbert didn't try and get a shield for the turret Fedexed, not that it'll get here in time." [All three of them get in the Humvee]
Brad: "Titanium. 16 pounds. I had it custom engineered."
Ray: "See, when the Marines invade a foreign country, we gotta buy all our own shit. Me and Brad spent 500 dollars of our own money just fixing up the Humvee. Bought our own antennas, filters, cammie nets. We even painted it ourselves. So yeah Holmes. [puts on sunglasses] We pimpin'. [Brad smiles]
[Ray is on the roof of the Humvee, he looks through binoculars and sees twenty white cars approaching]
Ray: "Brad. We have major activity on the wire. [Brad comes up to the roof] Two zero unidentified Victors at the checkpoint. F*ck they're coming through the gates."
Brad: [taking the binoculars from Ray, he sees the cars are Pizza Hut delivery] "Unf*ckingbelievable."
Ray: "Shit is on. Has to be."
[in the tents everyone is going crazy over the pizzas]
Ray: "Just when I thought I stopped loving the Marine Corps, they go and they do this."
Espera: "This is it, dog."
Brad: "The Corps doesn't just bring pizza pies all the way from Kuwait City for no reason."
Ray: "We got lobster in Afghanistan."
[Ray knocks on the door of a porta potty]
Ray: "It's urgent Brad. We're f*ckin' almost Oscar Mike!"
Brad: [from inside] "Ray, can I just have one final moment enjoying the fruits of civilization?" [comes out irritated, Hustler in hand, Ray giggles]
[looking at his MOPP suit] "Woodland camouflage? Anyone happen to remember we're invading a f*cking desert country?"
[Ray spits his dip out of the window of the Humvee]
Brad: [irritated] "Don't spit on my Humvee, Ray."
Ray: "I didn't."
Brad: [looks at Ray] "Ray, when you spit with your lips you always get it on the side of my Humvee. I heard you spit with your lips. Spit with your teeth, Ray."
Bravo: [over comms] "All Hitman victors, still waiting."
Brad: "Be advised. We're still waiting for the Batallion translator."
Evan: [unbelieving] "Do you mean you guys are invading Iraq with just one translator?"
[after the interpreter arrives] "Interpreter is stowed. We are Oscar Mike to the border staging area."
[after hearing on the radio that US ships and stealth planes have bombed downtown Baghdad, to Ray] "We kicked the hornet's nest. Now we better kill all the f*cking hornets."
Evan: "I forgot to spit out my tobacco, so I had to swallow it. And this suit is uh, too small. That strap was crushing my nuts."
Marine: "Reporter, you are possibly the biggest f*ck up I have encountered." [Garza laughs]
Brad: "Yeah, well maybe he fits right in."
Manimal: "Rudy, why would you give a f*ck if there's fat people where you live?"
Rudy: "Brother, I wanna live where people care about themselves."
Brad: "Jesus Christ, Rudy. When are you gonna realise that you're f*cking gay?"
Rudy: [laughs, as if it has never occured to him] "Gay." [everyone laughs]
Brad: "When we're on libo, you wear Banana Republic Daisy Duke shorts. Now you're rolling into battle in your goddamn chicken suit and J-Lo glasses. You dress like a pimp queen."
Rudy: "I don't dress like no goddamn pimp queen. I wear clothes that are body-conscious." [puts on sunglasses, everyone laughs]
[after Godfather has talked about the grroming standards at a meeting]
Brad: [as he's leaving, to Lt. Fick] "We're getting ready to invade a country and this is what our leader offers us. Moustaches."
Lt. Fick: "I trust you, Brad, to keep your personal feelings to yourself."
Encino Man: "Check it out. I taped my windows so I can turn my laptop on without the enemy seeing the light. Cool, huh?" [Lt. Fick gives a whatever look]
Casey Kasem: [videotaping, to Brad] "So how do you feel on the edge of this historical invasion?"
Brad: "Find those batteries yet for my night vision gear, Gunny?"
Casey Kasem: "That was a goddamn sucker punch. Supply situation isn't on any of us."
Brad: "With all due respect, Gunny, last I checked your billet was ops chief in charge of procuring supplies necessary for combat readiness."
Lt. Fick: [bitching] "We've lost our armour escort. And we get no ass going over the LOD. That's a low priority to pass on?"
Brad: "Personal feelings, Sir."
Captain America: "Godspeed! God f*cking speed to you!" [everyone ignores him]
Kocher: "F*cking Captain America."
Brad: "A little belt-fed today, isn't he?"
Lt. Fick: "We're all excited."
[night invasion, Ray's driving the lead Humvee]
Ray: "Man, I wish i had some 'shrooms. This is the f*cking shit."
Brad: "Yeah it's the shiznit. Watch the f*cking road."
Trombley: "How come we're not there yet?"
Ray: "Maybe 'cause a certain severely retarded company commander by the name of Encino Man, who, in his infinite retardation, duct-taped his Humvee windows. Thought he was being all tactical and shit, until Bravo missed the turn at the checkpoint, 'cause retard couldn't see out of his f*ckin' truck."
Brad: [warning] "Ray."
Ray: "Oh, look, there's layers of retardation that most people don't even know about. [to Evan] You should quote me on that."
Bravo: [over comms] "Two One, continue behind Raptor. We'll be veering west to the 98 northing."
Brad: "Roger that. We're still headed to breach point 2."
Ray: "Look at this shit. How come we can't ever invade a cool country, like, chicks in bikinis, you know? How come countries like that don't ever need Marines? I'll tell you why! It's lack of p*ssy that f*cks countries up! Lack of p*ssy is the root f*cking cause of all global instability. If more hajjis were getting quality p*ssy, there'd be no reason for us to come over here and f*ck 'em up like this. 'Cause a nut-busted hajji, is a happy hajji."
Brad: "Ray. Ray. How much Ripped Fuel have you ingested?"
Ray: [leans over to Brad] "I'm on it like a motherf*cker, Brad. [laughs] I'm moto, dude!"
Brad: "Well, no more of that shit. When you do Ripped Fuel you can't shut up."
Evan: "It's an interesting theory though."
Ray: "Yeah, yeah you should quote me on it. You know what, you should definately quote me on it. This whole f*cking thing, it comes down to p*ssy. Look, if you took the Republican Guard and comped their asses in Vegas for a weekend, no f*cking war."
Evan: "So the war's not about oil or WMDs?"
Ray: "No. In the opinion of this Marine, it's about p*ssy."
Evan: "And it's not about Saddam?"
Ray: "No Saddam's just part of the problem. If Saddam invested more in the p*ssy infrastructure of Iraq than he did on his f*cking gayass army. Then this country would be no more f*cked up than, say, Mexico."
Brad: [finally putting his foot down] "RAY! Please shut up. [Ray does as he's told] Thank you."
Bravo: [over comms] "All Hitman Two Victors, we are one klik until breach 2."
Brad: "Wake up Trombley. You're missing the invasion."
Espera: "Two One Alpha, this is Two One Bravo. We have a possible gun or rocket tube at our two o'clock, 500 metres, that shiny thing, over."
Brad: "Garza. Put your Mark-19 at two o'clock, range at 500."
Garza: "I see a glinting, Sergeant. Can't tell if it's a pipe or a tank tube."
Brad: [looks] "I glassed it. It's a pipe. Two One Bravo, this is Two One Alpha. We see a pipe in a trash pile, over."
Espera: "This is Two One Bravo. Roger that. Out."
Ray: "Tell you who the biggest f*cking retard is, that Saddam Hussein. We already kicked his ass once, and what does this retard go and f*cking do? He spends the next ten years pissing us off even more. We don't even wanna be in this shithole."
Brad: [serious, to Evan] "Stop scribbling. It encourages him. [to all in the Humvee] Stay frosty, gents."
Garza: "Hey!"
Brad: "What do you got?"
Garza: "I just waved at an Iraqi, and he waved back. That was cool."
Brad: [as if he was talking to a pet] "Goood, Garza. Be magnanimous."
Garza: "What the f*ck does that mean?"
Brad: "Lofty and kinglike."
Ray: [shouting out the window to an Iraqi] "Hey buddy, it's 10 in the morning don't you think you oughta change out of your pajamas?!" [Brad smiles]
Brad: "The bridge we're supposed to be seizing in six hours is here. [points at map] We've gone beyond the A-O. Is Batallion still asking us to exacute our mission on the same timetable?"
Lt. Fick: "I have no word on that, Brad."
Trombley: [to Ray, Garza and Evan] "Anyone want a Charms?"
Ray: [grabbing the Charms] "What, are you an idiot? Never ever let Charms into this vehicle again."
Garza: "Nobody lets charms in the vehicle in the whole f*cking United States Marine Corps. It's bad luck."
Ray: "Semper simple motherf*cker."
Garza: "F*ckin' new guy."
Captain America: [over comms] "We've been static way too long, sitting here with our asses hanging out. We don't stand a chance against one T-72 tank. They got 70 of them out here. This is suicide!" [everyone looks fed up of him]
Brad: [to Lt. Fick] "Sir, the behaviour of your fellow officer, the commandor of our sister platoon, is starting to concern us."
[Brad and Ray have just finished singing Minnie Ripperton's 'Loving You', Evan laughs]
Ray: [to Evan] "Aww, when my band opened up for Limp Bizkit in Kansas City, we f*ckin sucked. But then again, so did they. The only difference is that they became famous and I became a Marine."
Garza: "Hey, there's kids holding hands."
Brad: [looks out the window at them] "Aww, cute. Don't shoot 'em Garza." [Garza laughs]
Garza: "We got hardball ahead, Sergeant."
Brad: "That's MSR Tampa. When we've crossed it we'll be the northernmost unit in Iraq. [Ray smiles, Brad speaks over comms] Hitman Two, this is Two One. Do you want my Victor to provide overwatch on the northeast corner of the MSR?"
[Lt. Fick waves off armed Iraqis as instructed]
Brad: "Our first contact with armed Iraqis.. and we wave at 'em like bitches."
Ray: "You know what happens when you get out of the Marine Corps? You get your brains back."
Brad: "Why tha f*ck are you throwing food around?"
Trombley: "Gonna shoot me a dog."
Brad: "No, you're not, Trombley. No one's shooting any dogs in Iraq. I got seven. You got seven?
Trombley: [looks through night vision and sees seven Iraqis] "Yes Sergeant, I see seven." [Sgt. Kocher joins Brad and Trombley]
Kocher: "You seeing all these Iraqis?"
Brad: "Yeah, we've encountered over 60."
Kocher: "See how they're walking all jacked up, sore-footed?"
Brad: "At the rate this is going, this whole goddamn war will be over without us firing a goddamn shot."
Brad: [about an Iraqi, to Espera] "Poke, what manner of belt does this gentleman appear to have donned?"
Espera: [removes the man's belt and inspects it] "Military issue, dog." [rips the belt open with a knife, finds a note inside and hands it to Brad]
Brad: "Sir, this is Republican Guard." [hands the note to Lt. Fick]
"Bravo Two, listen up! Get ready to push!"
"Turn it over, Ray. We're Oscar Mike."
Episode 2: The Cradle of Civilization
[Iraqis herding goats wave to the passing Humvees]
Brad: [waves a little] "Yes, we are the conquering heroes."
Ray: [seeing all the vehicles on the road] "Woah, check it out."
Brad: "Look at this, gents. Little more than 48 hours into the war, and the first Marine division out of Camp Pendleton, Oceanside, California, is rolling with impunity on Saddam's highway." [Brad and Ray smile]
Trombley: "This sucks. We were on point in front of the whole invasion. Now we're back in the traffic jam."
Brad: [hint of sarcasm] "Trombley, how dare you question the strategic plan?"
Ray: "Oh my God, look at this. [looking out the window at the slogans on another division's vehicles] 'Angry American', aw, 'Get Some', 'Don't Tread On Me', 'Let's Roll', f*ck man, I hate that f*cking cheesy moto bullshit."
Brad: "Ray, when you're right, you're right."
Ray: "You know, it's like that song, 'when stars and stripes and eagles fly'. F*ck, man, eagles fly in Canada too. When we got back from Afghanistan my mom tried to play me that song and I was all, 'F*ck no mom. I'm a Marine. I don't need to fly a little f*cking patriotic flag on my car to show that I'm patriotic.'"
Brad: "That song is straight homosexual country-music special olympic gay. [Ray laughs, Garza reads out a road sign of a city they are getting close to]
Garza: "Nasiriyah. 40 kliks."
Marine: [shouting to Iraqis in a truck] "Hey, Q-tip. Your trucks all blinged out. How you gonna refuel it?" [an Iraqi in the truck is staring at Ray]
Espera: [over comms, to Ray] "Echo Four Papa, I think that hajji's getting sweet on you."
Ray: [exhales, takes of his helmet] "Brad, this f*cking sucks. We're in the rear with the f*cking chicks, the supply trucks and the hajji truckers. We trained for that bridge mission for six f*cking weeks and they take it right out from underneath of us."
Garza: "Yeah, I'll be mad if this war ends before we get a chance to get in it."
Brad: [to Garza] "Drop down here my little brown friend. [Garza comes down into the Humvee] Missions are always getting fragged. We're Marines. We obey our orders. Our mission now is not to do our original mission."
[when Brad returns to the Humvee]
Ray: "Good dump, Sergeant?"
Brad: "Excellent. Shit my brains out. Not too hard, not too runny."
Trombley: "It sucks when it's runny and you have to wipe 50 times."
Brad: "That's not what I'm talking about. If it's too hard or too soft, something's not right. You might have a problem that affects combat readiness."
Ray: "And it should be a little bit acid, Trombley. Burn your a**h*le a little when it comes out."
Brad: "Maybe on your little bitch a**h*le, Ray, from all the c*ck that's been stuffed up it."
Espera: "Man, we marines are so homoerotic. It's all we talk about. You ever realise how homoerotic this whole thing is?"
Gunny: [comes up to the Humvee] "LT, wants to see you, Brad."
Ray: [to Brad] "Oh, shit, holmes. I forgot to tell you he was on the radio for you. [Brad looks at Ray, pissed] I'm sorry."
Lt. Fick: "It's not good. Cas-evac bird's been going back and forth since sundown."
Brad: "Sir, the f*cking army declared Nasiriyah secured. It was on the net."
Lt. Fick: "Whatever's going on up there, it doesn't sound to me like we secured much of anything."
Brad: "Victors, all Victors, get out of your vehicles and take cover. Our sister company is finally in this war."
Ray: "How come Alpha gets to pop their cherry and we don't?"
Brad: "They have their mission, we have ours."
Sgt. Maj. Sixta: "Looove this shit! We's in the middle of it now boys! Garza, get you're stupid ass down! Ain't nothing for you to shoot at!"
Brad: [to Lt. Fick] "Sir, how long do we have to sit up here with our nuts out getting shot at before RCT One goes into the town?"
Lt. Fick: "Brad, we sit here with our nuts exposed, but when RCT One assaults over the bridge and we go in behind to get their casualties, we get our nuts blown completely off."
Brad: "Alpha's getting smacked pretty good down there. Shall we dig in, Sir?"
Lt. Fick: "Not a bad idea."
[Brad is watching Lovell wandering around in tall grass]
Brad: "How's it going?"
Lovell: "They shot one of my Marines in the stomach.. out there. We returned fire, blew a donkey's head off. We didn't see much else." [he continues to wander aimlessly in the tall grass, looking confused and lost]
Brad: [concerned] "Hey, buddy, do you need anything? [Lovell looks at him] Food, water?"
Lovell: "It's all good, bro."
[Espera is talking to Evan about his life, different races, government etc]
Brad: [walks over, to Espera] "Enough lecture on the white man's opression. I need my assistant team leader for a meeting with the LT."
Espera: "I was just elucidating on the white man's burden, dog."
Brad: "Now, Poke."
Espera: "You know I'm rollin' wit you."
Brad: "Come on."
Evan: [to Espera] "Thanks, man."
Espera: [stands up to find Brad glaring at him] "What? [Brad walks off] Just wanted to get one last cigarette before we all died." [scene changes to a group of Marines standing around a Humvee]
Chaffin: "BBC had that US Army convoy hit here. Captured 11 soldiers. Showed them on Arab TV. Abusing 'em on TV."
Kocher: "Shit, they raped the one woman soldier. They broke her bones and then raped her. It was on Al Jazeera."
Brad: [arriving with Espera] "News for you, gents. This neck of desert, when they capture soldiers. Not just the women get raped."
Espera: [unbelieving] "Guys in pajamas, stopped two Marine regiments?"
Brad: "You know, Poke, guys in black pajamas did all right in Vietnam too. You gotta respect the pajamas."
Trombley: "What about James Alvarez Trombley?"
Ray: "That's stupid."
Trombley: "You're stupid!"
Brad: "Change of personnel. Gabe, you're swapping with Hasser. You've got more experience on the 50-Cal."
Garza: "It's fine with me."
Espera: "Hasser!"
Hasser: "Yeah."
Espera: "I'm trading you for a Mexican. You're in Brad's truck now."
Garza: [jumping off the Humvee] "Good to go."
Evan: [to Garza] "Oh, hey, Gabe. Do you have the photograph of my girlfriend I was showing to Person the other day?"
Garza: "No, I think I gave it to Leon."
Evan: "Leon?"
Brad: [disbelief] "You let these plebeians look at a photograph of your girlfriend?"
Trombley: "What about just James Trombley?"
Ray: "Oh, come one. Trombley, you should name your kid Jesus. I mean, your wife's Mexican. I mean, f*cking Mexicans do it all the time. That's what's cool about knocking up a Mexican girl, she could drop a Jesus."
Brad: "Never have kids. In fact, Trombley, you should never have gotten married. Women will always cost, but marriage is the most expensive way to go. If you want to pay for it, go to Australia. For a hundred bucks you can order a whore over the phone. Half an hour later, she arrives at your door.. fresh and hot like a pizza."
Lt. Fick: [chaps the side of the Humvee and appears at Brad's window] "Twenty hundred hours Zulu time we go in. Hitman Two is leading the Batallion. Your vehicle is on point for all of us."
Brad: "Yes, Sir."
Lt. Fick: "Once we cross the Euphrates, expect contact from both sides."
Brad: [pointing at his GPS] "Task force Tarawa Amtracs.. looks like a CAT team, straight-leg grunt platoon."
Lt. Fick: "Gotta be careful about blue-on-blue contact. Any potential targets we see within 300 metres of our position, double check to make sure they're not friendly."
Ray: "Hey, what time local is twenty hundred Zulu?"
Lt. Fick: "Twenty three hundred hours. It'll be dark.. to our advantage."
Brad: "True, Sir.. if we had enough batteries to power our night optics."
Lt. Fick: "Turn everything on when we move."
Brad: "I'm just glad they had the wisdom to push us through at night."
Lt. Fick: "I'm assured that we will be crossing that bridge before dawn. I'm assured of this." [scene changes and they're crossing the bridge in daylight]
Espera: [over comms] "Hitman Two, this is Two One Bravo. Be advised, we have friendlies on both sides. How copy? Over."
Trombley: "Sergeant, I thought they were gonna send us over the bridge in the darkness."
Ray: "Mm mm, not retarded enough."
Brad: [to Ray] "Careful with the Ripped Fuel."
Ray: "F*ck, man. I'm on 30 hours, no sleep. [to Evan] Beat the record in high school when I was on the debate team."
Evan: "Wait a minute.. you were on the debate team?"
Brad: [to Ray] "What channels for the One Nineteen?"
Ray: "Six, Four and TAD Seven. [to Evan] Yeah, I was really really f*cking good, but all the other guys on the team thought I was high all of the time."
Brad: "Shut up, Ray. All right, let's make some money."
Ray: [looking out the window as they're driving through a town] "Shit! F*cking tranny fluid from the Amtrac. Jesus, Brad!"
Brad: "Watch the road. [as they drive through Trombley's looking out the window at the dead Marines/soldiers] It's nothing Trombley."
Baptista: [over comms] "This is Hitman Two Three." [he starts speaking Portuguese]
Ray: "F*cking Baptista."
Baptista: [over comms] "How copy? How copy?"
Brad: "I don't copy, Hitman Two Three. I don't copy a word you're saying. Every time Baptista gets excited, his English goes out the f*cking window."
Ray: "I mean, he's not even a citizen. He snuck in from whatever f*cking greaseball country he's from and now he's a Marine. You know, there oughta be some sort of grammar test before you're out here blowin' shit up with heavy weapons."
Brad: "If they did that, f*cking bucktooth, cross eyed, sister-f*cking hicks like you wouldn't get in either. [Ray smiles] I've got friendlies to my three."
Trombley: "Yeah, i got them on my nine."
Lt. Fick: [over comms] "Hitman Two Victors, Hitman Two Victors, be advised Assassin and Raptor are in enemy contact to our rear. How copy?"
Brad: "Two One copy."
Trombley: "F*ck! All the bad guys are opening up on the guys behind us. Why aren't they shooting at us?"
[they've all stopped in the middle of a town]
Ray: "This is a nice place for an ambush. Why the f*ck are we stopped?"
Brad: "Orders. Charlie's halting for 5 minutes to help Cas-evac a wounded Marine from RCT One."
Brad: "Shady. I wanted to apologise for blowing my stack on comms back there."
Baptista: "Ah, I think to myself, 'Why is Iceman so angry? Someone piss in his cornflakes this morning?'"
Brad: "Shady, I'm not being critical of you, but, sometimes when you get excited you speak Spanish on the comm."
Baptista: "Hmm, this is strange.. because in Brazil. My country. We speak Portuguese."
Brad: "Yeah, well whatever language you people speak down there, try to stick to English when we're on Marine Corps comms."
Baptista: "Sim, Colbert, sim." [Brad walks over to Espera and the other Marines]
Espera: ".. 25mm bushmaster, put a round through the same hole at 2,000 metres."
Brad: "Still railing on the white man?"
Espera: "No I don't hate the white man no more. Leave that to these motherf*ckers. [pointing to dead Iraqis] Me? I'm just staying here in Iraq, eating my pound cake, playing on a white man's team."
Brad: "Not the surrendering Iraqis we've seen. These guys came to fight."
Espera: "Dog, motherf*cker died trying to get a round off. Combat discipline."
[on the road again]
Ray: "Man, I am so high from not sleeping. So check this out: maybe they didn't issue the wrong colour fatigues for the invasion. Maybe our blouses actually aren't green. Maybe they are desert beige. You know like sometimes colours actually start to look different when you're so sleep deprived? Like the sun, it looks red when it actually is yellow. You know, maybe our blouses aren't green. We're just so f*cking sleep deprived that's the way that they look to us."
Brad: "Are you making this up?"
Ray: "F*ck yeah, I'm making this up. It passes the time, brother."
Trombley: [seeing a blown up truck] "Aw, get some! Look at that truck."
Brad: "BM-21, a legit target." [they pass another blown up truck, filled with dead people]
Trombley: "Ohh, it's like a Halloween funhouse." [giggles]
Brad: "Stay frosty. [speaks into comms] Two One Bravo, two men in that car to our three. Do you see weapson?"
Espera: [over comms] "Two One Alpha, this is Two One Bravo. No weapons. These guys are down for the count." [they all see a little girl dead at the side of the road, Evan is in shock]
Brad: "She's dead. Nothing we can do."
Brad: "This is plain undignified."
Ray: [puts on a white glove, in an MJ voice] "Hello everyone, I'm Michael Jackson."
Evan: "This is f*cking miserable."
Ray: "Yeah but we get to invade a whole f*cking country, dude."
Brad: "At this point, I almost wish Saddam would gas us. It would make all the effort with our MOPP suits worth it."
Evan: "It would justify the invasion."
Ray: "Oh there's no doubt Saddam's got chemicals. It's just you liberal dicksucks who try to pick everything apart." [shots are heard]
Brad: [looking through his scope] "Foot-mobiles, two o'clock. Maybe 900 metres out."
Evan: "Bravo Three's behind us, right? They're taking fire form that gas station we passed?"
Brad: [to Ray] "Slow down."
Trombley: [to Evan] "Yes."
Brad: "Is that an RPG team? [speaks over comms] Hitman Two, this is Two One. We got two foot-mobiles on our two o'clock, 900 metres out, in black. They appear to be carrying an RPG tube. How copy?"
Lt. Fick: [over comms] "Hitman Two One, wait, One. Over."
Brad: [shouting up to Hasser] "Hey, Walt, do you see 'em? F*cking popped down."
Hasser: "I see 'em. Down that ditch."
Lt. Fick: [over comms] "Two One, go ahead and hault your vehicle. Over."
Brad: [to Ray] "Person, halt the vehicle."
Lt. Fick: [over comms] "Hitman actual, this is Hitman Two. We're halting to engage possible foot-mobiles. How copy? Over."
Hitman: [over comms] "This is Hitman. Solid copy."
Brad: [to Lt. Fick] "Flashing. They got optics on us. One keeps popping his head up. I'm not 100% confident that was an RPG tube. But I'm sure they're putting optics on us."
Brad: [to Ray] "See that trail? We're going to the left. The whole rest of the division is going the the other way."
Ray: "Just us?"
Brad: "Just first recon. This has the makings of a legit f*cking mission. we're screening, doing a route reconnaissance. Maybe movement to contact. We got 15 kliks on our own. Gonna link up with RCT One outside the next shithole town. We got no air. There's a Shamal storm coming. Rotary isn't flying."
Ray: "Oh, great, so we're basically just like bait for the bad guys."
Brad: "Yep! But we'll be the first Americans to roll down this road. Turn, and we're money."
Brad: [turning around to face Trombley in the back] "I smell a goddamn Charms."
Trombley: [spits it out] "Sorry, Sergeant. I had one left. You know what sucks? All those dead bodies we seen today, and I didn't get to shoot any of them."
Ray: "I see foot-mobiles. 12 o'clock, 100 metres. Damn! [puts on sunglasses] Brad, they're f*cking hotties! [Brad smiles] I didn't know hajjis could be hotties. I thought that they were all camel-faced hags. [drives past beeping at them] Heyy, as-salamu alaykum, ladies. Damn, homie. Better than when I was in my band!"
Brad: "Cause they haven't heard you play."
Iraqi villager: "We love you, Americans. We love you!"
Brad: "Thank you! Vote Republican."
Lt. Fick: [over comms] "Two One, this is Two. I need you to take that bridge over the canal ahead. How copy?"
Brad: [speaking into comms] "Hitman Two, interrogative. Am I to understand you mean the near bridge? Because I don't think that's the correct turn."
Lt. Fick: [over comms] "Direct order from Hitman actual. He's going off of his map."
Brad: [speaking into comms] "Roger that."
Ray: "They let him have a map?"
Brad: [after they've crossed the bridge] "All Hitman Two Victors, halt." [Brad gets out of the Humvee]
Hitman Two Three: [over comms] "Hitman Two One Alpha, this is Hitman Two Three. What's going on up there?"
Brad: [looking out over fields, knows they did make the wrong turn] "Motherf*cker."
Hitman: [over comms] "Hitman Two One, this is Hitman. Interrogative. Why have we stopped? Over."
Ray: [over comms] "Hitman, this is Hitman Two One. No more road."
Lt. Fick: [to Brad] "Just figuring out we're lost."
Brad: "I could of told him that half an hour ago. The whole Batallion's two kliks east of us on the other side of the Gharraf canal. We are now to the rear of everybody."
Doc: "Why do we get the so-called interpreter?"
Lt. Fick: "He told me he works directly for General Mattis."
Evan: "He told me he worked for the CIA."
Brad: "Back at Mathilda, he told me he could hook me up with free satellite TV."
Brad: "Gentlemen, we're looking at a pretty short ride. We're gonna link up with regimental combat team. After which, we rack out tonight."
Trombley: "Aren't we going through the town?"
Brad: "No."
Trombley: "But I didn't get to shoot yet."
Ray: "Hey, that town stopped a whole regiment with, like, tanks and shit."
Trombley: "But I didn't even get one sh.."
Brad: [cutting him off] "Trombley. If we went through that town, we'd get smoked."
Brad: "Three hundred thousand dollars, Trombley. That's the cost to rasie your average middle class white kid. Maybe since your finacee's Mexican and you'll have little half Mexican babies, you can cut corners, do it on the cheap. I bet Sergeant Espera's parents didn't spend more than a hundred to raide him. But of course, look how he turned out."
Trombley: "You against marriage Sergeant?"
Ray: "Brad got dumped."
Brad: "My sweetheart since junior high.. left me.. and married my best friend since junior high. We're all still friends. They're one of those happy couples that likes to take pictures of themselves and hang 'em up all over their goddamn house. Sometimes I go over there just to look at my ex-fiancee doing all the things I used to do with her with my best friend. Surfing and.. jet skiing. It's nice having friends."
Brad: "We're way behind."
Ray: "I'm doing the best that I can. This isn't the 805 above La Jolla, you know."
Brad: [listening to comms] "Bravo Three has a casualty. Took fire from both sides."
Evan: "Who was it?"
Brad: "I don't know. Alpha and H&S are through the town. Roger that. [kisses a grenade and loads his RPG] Gentlemen, from now on we're gonna have to earn our stories."
[after being shot at as they were going through the town]
"We got f*cking lit up. [Brad and Ray look at each other, Ray laughs] Man! Everybody is okay, right?"
Ray: "Brad. Brad, get up. We have a mission, search and rescue. [sighs] One of the officers went out to take a shit, stepped over the berm and hasn't been heard from since."
Brad: "An officer?"
Ray: "From H&S company. He's probably just lost in the dark somewhere."
Brad: "F*cking officers will be the death of us yet."
Episode 3: Screwby
Brad: "Trombley, did you eat?"
Trombley: "Uhh, yes, Sergeant."
Brad: "You hydrated?"
Trombley: "Yes, Sergeant."
Brad: "Have you defecated?"
Trombley: "Noo, Sergeant."
Brad: "Trombley, we have a long day ahead of us. I need you to take a dump now before we get on the road."
Ray: "Hey, before you shit, hand me the bolt cutters."
Gunny: [approaching] "Outstanding job yesterday, gentlemen."
Brad: "Can I help you with something, Gunny?
Gunny: "Sergeant, yesterday we had a trial by fire. I want you to know, Brad, that I'm here for you and your men. Are there any combat stress reactions anyone needs to talk about. [Brad looks at him] Remember, I'm the certified combat stress instructor."
Hasser: [about the main gun] "F*ck, f*ck! It did it again."
Brad: "No, we're good, Gunny. But we would be a lot better if you were getting us the gun lube and batteries we need. That might do it for my combat stress."
[about the main gun] "Yeah, this shit is totally ineffective in these conditions. We need LSA. [Lt. Fick comes up to the Humvee] Lieutenant. Sir, the main weapon on your point vehicle is unreliable. Given the prevailing climatic conditions, using this lubricant is like trying to buttf*ck a virgin underaged phutak whore with chalk.. when KY is clearly called for, Sir."
Lt. Fick: [to Brad] "Present for you. [hands Brad a little tub] LSA. Scammed some off the guys in RCT One."
Brad: "Sir, not to get homoerotic about this.. but I could kiss ya. Walt! [shakes the tub at him] Get that Mark 19 properly lubed."
Hasser: [happy] "Now we're talking about killing some motherf*ckers." [they start driving past fields]
Brad: "This place gives me the creeps."
Ray: "Yeah, those guys waving at us are probably the same ones who tried to kill us yesterday."
Trombley: [seeing a destroyed truck] "Damn, holmes."
Brad: "Hit with RPGs."
Ray: "Yeah, a buddy of mine in One Seven had to f*cking clean up a Humvee that got hit like that. Said he found the driver's fingers in the engine compartment."
Evan: "How do they know they were the driver's fingers?"
Ray: "Cause they were still gripping the steering wheel, f*cknuts.
Trombley: [looking out the window, he sees dogs] "We oughta shoot some of these dogs." [Ray shakes his head]
Brad: "Trombley, I keep telling you. We don't shoot dogs, we shoot people. And we generally only shoot people if we have to."
[RCT One start shooting at a village]
Brad: "F*ck, that's women and children. Cease fire! [they keep shooting] Cease fire! Do not engage."
Stafford: [to Christeson] "Hold your fire, hold your fire!"
Brad: [speaking into comms] "All Hitman Victors, we've been observing this hamlet, it's only women and children. Do not engage. [to Captain America] Sir, they're shooting that hamlet in error! Sir, we don't have any comms with RCT One and they're shooting that hamlet in error!"
Brad: "Sir, in that last hamlet, all it took was one shot. That was just an undisciplined grunt from RCT One. Everybody opened up and schwacked it over nothing."
Espera: "Hey, we could only keep our own on it clean, dog. What these other motherf*ckers do in this big wide AO ain't on us."
Kocher: "Yeah, it's hard enough just keeping our own guys out of the shit. we can't be worrying about the rest of the world."
Brad: "I know you all saw our own CO try to fire off a 203 round in the middle of all that."
Brad: [looking through his scope to try and see who's shooting at them] "I don't see any muzzle flashes."
Trombley: "Why do we have to see them?"
Brad: "Trombley, shut up."
Ray: "I got flashes."
Brad: "Where?"
Ray: "Uh, 200 metres, my 11 o'clock. Uh, second storey, white building with the sandbags on the roof. Two buildings behind the roadblock."
Brad: "Yeah, got it. His head's bobbing. we're cleared to engage."
[loud praying is heard]
Brad: "The natives are getting restless."
Lt. Fick: "Prayer is a good thing. Maybe it'll keep them too preoccupied to shoot at us."
Brad: "Sir, the scuttlebutt I'm hearing says you may be relieved of command."
Lt. Fick: "There could be an investigation."
Brad: "For trying to unf*ck Hitman when he's about to drop arty on his own f*cking company? That's brillaint. Sir, your leadership is the only thing I have absolute confidence in."
Lt. Fick: "I'm assured that I'll have the right to address any allegations before anything is formalized. I'm assured of this."
Brad: "Sir, to highlight my growing lack of confidence in the strategic plan, can you explain why we are strong-pointing this hostile city in tin-plated Humvees while M-1 tanks, LAVs and Amtracs roll past? Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? I mean how exactly did this happen?"
Lt. Fick: "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Make sure to conserve your fire. It's gonna be a long night."
Ray: "Oh, you should write this down reporter. See, the war's actually not about p*ssy, it's about NAMBLA. You know, North American Man-Boy Love Association. See, places like Thailand where they used to f*ck little boys and shit, they're drying up. We're opening up Iraq for a whole new supply of kids, man."
Brad: [warning] "Ray, please! I'm trying to gauge the approach to our target."
Ray: [sarcastic] "Right! Cause we're gonna drive 40 kliks off road, in the dark, to an airfield with Republican Guard on it by ourselves. And they say that I did too much acid in high school. Christ, the business end of Mattis's crack pipe must be hot to the f*cking touch. Brad, listen, there's no way that we can.."
Brad: [cutting him off] "Get down!"
Ray: "Why?!"
Brad: "Get down!" [everyone in the Humvee ducks down as they get shot at]
Trombley: "Holy f*ck."
Brad: [to Ray] "Give me your headset. [speaking over comms] Hitman Two, this is Two One. That is a friendly unit northbound on the MSR firing on our position. I say again, that is blue on blue fire. They're northbound towards Assassin's position. How copy?"
Ray: "Those are f*cking reservists! I saw the markings."
Brad: [to Evan] "You all right?"
Evan: "Yeah, I think so."
Trombley: "I'm f*cking wet! [to Evan] Hey, hey! Did you piss on me? Don't f*cking tell me I have reporter piss on me."
Ray: "Brad, they shot our f*cking water cans."
Brad: "We're Oscar Mike."
Ray: "Damn it. [bitching] 40 kliks, no f*cking water."
Trombley: "F*ck it, atleast you're dry." [they start driving]
Godfather: [over comms] "All Victors, this is Godfather. Stand by, H&S has a truck down."
Brad: "Stop."
Ray: [irritated] "Start, stop, start, stop! Jesus! I'm beginning to think Godfather's just a big c*cktease."
Brad: "Dude, I am so lost right now."
Ray: "Don't worry about it, buddy. I know where we're going. We passed seven villages, there's one more. [Brad looks at him, unconvinced] Hey.. do you remember the gay dog episode of 'South Park'? The one where Sparky runs away cause he's humping all those other dogs and shit?"
Brad: "Yes, Ray, I.. i do remember it very well. But I don't see what relevance this has on our present status."
Ray: "There's the hamlet, our turn." [Brad looks at him, impressed, he smiles]
Brad: [in a better mood, speaking into comms] "Hitman Two, this is Two One. We're making that turn now. Over."
Lt. Fick: [over comms] "Roger that. Nice job. Over."
Ray: "Hey, Brad? Do your big gay Al for me. [Brad just sits there] Come on, buddy! Do it for your old pal Ray, the one who made the right turn."
Brad: [in a gay voice] "Well, hellloo there, little pup. I'm big gay Al. Have you been outcast?"
Ray: [laughs] "F*ck yeah."
Lt. Fick: "Brad? [shakes him to wake him up] Get your team ready. We're assaulting the airfield. Less than 10 mikes."
Brad: [shakes Ray] "Wake up. Walt, range the Mark-19 as far out as you feel comfortable engaging targets with good effect."
Hasser: "What about Alpha's recon?"
Brad: "They're out of time."
Ray: [waking up] "Ohh, I'm up."
Brad: "They f*cked it. We're going up against tanks."
Brad: "Got any comms with those A-10s."
Ray: "Negative."
Brad: "Those jets are goddamn Air Force. They shoot Marines."
Ray: "You know, that map showed fences. If there's fences we're gonna need the bolt cuters."
Brad: "They're under the reporter's seat."
Ray: [to Evan] "Hey, can you life your ass in a hurry if we need to get to those bolt cutters."
Evan: "Uhh, I think so." [practices and accidentally knocks Brad]
Brad: "You have to get out of the Humvee to open it. I don't see a fence anyway."
Evan: "Do you need them now?"
Ray: "Charlie just cleared a guard tower."
Hasser: [pulling on the main gun] "No!"
Brad: "What is it, Walt?"
Hasser: "F*cking shit! Mark-19's jammed."
Brad: [speaking into comms] "Hitman Two, this is Two One. Our Mark-19 is down. I say again, our main gun is down."
Hasser: [still trying to fix it] "Shit!"
Brad: "Either unf*ck it now or get on your f*cking saw."
Hasser: "I'm trying."
Trombley: "I see men running, 200 metres, 10 o'clock."
Brad: "Are they armed?"
Trombley: "They're something."
Brad: "Well the order is everyone is declared hostile. Light 'em the f*ck up."
Brad: [about Captain America] "He's got his f*cking bayonet out. [watches him shoot at nothing] Doing his Rambo."
Captain America: "Follow my tracers!"
Manimal: "He's shooting at scraps of metal."
Ray: "Can you believe that f*cking retard is charge of people?"
Brad: "Jesus Christ."
Ray: "Yeahh, looks like Saddam's big bad Republican Guard hajjis got wind I was coming. As the great warrior-poet Ice Cude once said, 'If the day does not require an AK. It is good.'"
Brad: [looking at the tanks] "They stick around to man those, we'd have been dead before we evesaw them."
Ray: "Dude, lighten up."
Brad: [looks at him] "Then again the world wouldn't have to deal with the prospect of you returning to your cretinous daughter-f*cking trailer park red-state shithole, and producing mutant, whiskey tango, scrotum faced, bucktoothed, zit exploding progeny."
Trombley: [sees Godfather approaching] "Heads up."
Godfather: "I need a channel division to main."
Brad: "Lance Corporal Trombley, channel five. [gives the phone to Godfather] Sir."
Godfather: "Chaos, this is Godfather."
Chaos: "Send it."
Godfather: "Be advised. We have seized the enemy airfield. Early reports are we've captured several enemy tanks and self-propelled triple A batteries. It appears that we've overrun the entire 255th mechanized regiment who have fled. And sir, we've sustained zero casualties."
Chaos: "Outstanding."
Godfather: "Thank you. Roger that. Out."
Evan: [as Godfather's walking past, seeing planes] "Is that the British paratroopers?"
Godfather: "No. We scrubbed their mission. We got here first."
Brad: "Gentlemen. We just seized an airfield. That was pretty f*cking ninja."
Ray: "I'm just saying I'm surprised is all, Brad. I mean, aren't you surprised?"
Brad: "Shut the f*ck up."
Ray: "I mean, I'm betting that they were thinking that they could just, you know, leave a fully loaded supply truck laying around. Just like you could anywhere in America, you know. I mean, you park your unlocked car in Detriot or Baltimore, I mean, your shit's gonna be there guaranteed when you get back from the day spa with your skin all exfoliated and shit, right? I mean, seriously holmes, why would our Iraqi brethren want 400 pounds of C4, Claymores and crates of M-16s? I mean it just doesn't make any sense. Oh wait! You know they could be using all that C4 for, like, a giant 4th of July celebration. What do you think, Brad?"
Brad: "I think it's time for you to shut the f*ck up."
Marine?: [walks up] Heyy, nice job shooting those camels, Trombley."
Trombley: "I think I shot one of those Iaqis too. I saw him fall."
Marine2?: "All we saw was camels going down."
Marine?: "Camel killer."
Trombley: "Look, I didn't mean to shoot innocent camels, all right? I'm sure I shot people."
Brad: [to the two Marines] "Shouldn't you two be doing the after-action report on Alpha's failed recon mission?" [Garza smiles, so does Trombley]
Doc: [about the little wounded boy he's treating] "Shot by that asshole Trombley, Brad. He's been zipped by 556 from Trombley's saw."
Brad: "Don't put this on Trombley. I'm responsible."
Doc: "Yeah? Well, 20 other Marines drove by them and didn't shoot. So why don't we bring Trombley here to see what he's done."
Brad: "Don't say that, it was my order. What can I do here?"
Doc: "Not a f*cking thing, apparently, Brad."
Trombley: "Is is going to be okay, Sergeant? I mean this.. investigation?"
Brad: "You'll be fine, Trombley."
Trombley: "No, I mean for you, Sergeant, since you gave all the orders. I don't care about any of this, you know? I'll be out in a couple of years. But you.. Sergeant this is your career."
Brad: "I'll be fine."
Brad: [walking up to Evan] "You all right, reporter?"
Evan: "Yeah, I'm just .. sucking wind." [Brad gives a little laugh]
Brad: "What happened today emm.. [pauses for a while, changes the subject] You need to square those walls. You'll never make any progress digging that way."
Episode 4: Combat Jack
Espera: "Brad, Battalion's going Redcon One and Alpha called in air support."
Brad: "Ray, get on TAD six and TAD seven. Walt, get up on the berm and man the Mark-19. You have the thermals?"
Espera: "Yeah, I got them right here, dog."
Brad: "Well, warm them the f*ck up and use them. Why the f*ck are you two standing around with your dicks in your hands? Don't you have teams to take care of?"
Pappy: "Roger that."
Espera: "Iceman's back."
Brad: "Find the reporter, Trombley. If little Miss Rolling Stone gets run over by an Iraqi tank, Ray's band won't make the cover."
Trombley: "Yes, Sergeant."
Hasser: [looking through binoculars] "They're moving, you can see it."
Ray: "So, we're unsupplied, 20 hours ahead of the next nearest Marine, and now the Iraqi army has found us. I like the plan, Brad. It works for me."
Brad: [looking through his scope] "It's a town... and it ain't moving."
Hasser: "Are you sure?"
Brad: "It's autokinesis. You're seeing the involuntary muscle movements of your own eyes. Those lights aren't going to come any closer than they are. It's a f*cking town. 30, 40 kliks out there at least. How far out did Alpha call this?
Hasser: "15 kliks." [Brad laughs as he walks away]
Brad: [to Espera] "It's bullshit, there's no armour."
Brad: "Theologically speaking, Trombley, the world's been going downhill ever since man first offered entrails to the Gods."
Trombley: "What's that mean, entrails?"
Ray: "That religion is gay."
Brad: "The point, Lance Corporal, we're supposed to be a recon unit of pure warrior spirit. We're out here, 40 kliks into enemy lines, and this man of God here, he's a f*cking POG. In fact, he's an officer POG. That's one more layer of bureaucracy and unnecessary logistics. One more asshole we need to supply MREs and baby wipes for. And worst of all..[about the net] it should be tight. Worst of all, the motherf*cker doesn't even carry a weapon. When push comes to shove even Rolling Stone picks up a gun, but this f*cking shill of God, he can't cover a sector. He'll never hump ammo or claymores. This is a f*cking war, and we're here, as warriors. So on top of everything else that's expected of us, do we really need to drag him along and indulge in this.. makebelieve bullshit?"
Ray: "Oh no. Not only do we have to worry about all the Charms you've eaten, now Brad's just pissed off God."
Brad: [to Espera] "Poke, what the f*ck are you anyway? Your wife is half white, you talk like you're black, most of your friends are f*cking white, and every once in a while, when you feel like it, you throw in with the Indians."
Ray: "Yeah, Poke, what the f*ck?"
Brad: "Is it just that you're whatever race that happens to be cool at the moment?"
Episode 5: A Burning Dog
Brad: [looking at a small village through binoculars] "One, two, three, four little people outside."
Espera: "Plus the three old ladies."
Hasser: "Look, Gabe. Hajji soccer."
Garza: "Tough little hajji. My grandma used to beat me with a 2x4."
Hasser: "Your grandma mean like that, Gabe?"
Garza: "No, man. My grandma hit me because she loved me and she wnated me to turn out good."
Brad: "Hitman Two, this is Two One. We've had eyes on the village for over an hour now. There are seven women and children, no adult males. No sign of the men who fired those mortars. How copy?"
Lt. Fick: [over comms] "This is Hitman Two. Solid copy."
Brad: "Ray, what the f*ck is that smell?"
Ray: "MRE cookies. What I did was I saved up all those creamer packets, and all the sugars and I mixed in peanut butter until it sort of made this.."
Brad: [cutting him off] "Don't set your face on fire again."
Ray: "Word to the motherf*ckin street, yo. I was not the one who set my face on fire. I was the f*ckin victim and you know it."
Evan: "Sergeant Colbert, I was thinking. Those trees over there behind us, maybe the guys who fired at us were in them."
Brad: "Much as I appreciate Rolling Stone's tactical input, I'm confident in the birds."
Evan: "Birds?"
Garza: "Anything moves in those trees, birds don't sing."
[they all see a village blown up unexpectedly infront of them]
Jesus Christ!
Garza: "Did we call it, Sergeant!?"
Brad: "I uh... someone called it."
Doc: "F*cking Godfather called it. 1,000 punder from a navy F-18."
Brad: "We don't have the full picture."
Doc: "It was on f*cking batallion tac."
Brad: "We had mortars fired at us from somewhere near that hamlet. Maybe.. maybe inside."
Garza: "The bad guys shoot and scoot. By the time we hit back they're gone."
Brad: "I am not the one who asked the enemy to mix in with thecivilian populace and use them as cover to attack us."
Trombley: "Hey, Person. Didn't your mom put your picture up on the Wal-Mart wall of heroes?"
Ray: "Yep. My grandma did when I went to Afghanistan. I'm on the Nevada, Missouri Wal-Mart wall of heroes. Even got my dress blues on."
Brad: "If my mother ever distributed my likeness without written authorization, I would disown her."
Ray: "Technically speaking, Brad, but, didn't your biological parents disown you when they put you up for adoption?"
Brad: "Point, Ray. I was one of those unfortunates adopted by upper middle class professionals and nurtured in an environment of learning, art and a socio-religious culture steeped in over two thousand years of talmudic tradition. [looks at Ray] Not everyone is lucky enough to have been raised in a Whisky Tango trailer park by a bowlegged female whose sole qualification for motherhood is a womb that happened to catch a sperm of a passing truck driver." [Brad gets out of the Humvee]
Ray: "Atleast my mom took me to Nascar."
Trombley: [to Ray] "Your dad's a truck driver?"
Brad: [to Espera] "You okay?"
Espera: "It's all good, brother."
Brad: [to two little girls standing outside their house] "Hello. [waves] Asalaam alaikum. [waves again but the girls don't respond] That doesn't get you, Poke? [gives packages to Espera to give to the little girls] Come on, it'll be good for you."
Espera: [to the girls] "Asalaam alaikum. [hands them a chocolate bar and another package] Here. Here you go."
Brad: "See? Don't you feel better?"
Espera: "F*ck it, dog. You think giving them some rice and a chocolate bar is gonna fix things?" [Brad walks away and Lt. Fick comes up to him]
Lt. Fick: "Change of plan. We have a village elder here providing info on a possible ambush on the road ahead."
Brad: "Well, let me guess, Sir. The plan is for us to drive into it and draw fire."
Lt. Fick: "You'll be happy to know there is no plan for this. Godfather's pulling us back. The RCT is pushing up some LAVs to clear out the ambush. We're staying in wadi south of the bridge."
Brad: [to Pappy] "What's this I'm hearing about Casey Kasem going around infront of E-3s and 2s, calling Lieutenant Fick a coward?" [Pappy nods]
Kocher: "Yeah."
Brad: "Jesus f*cking Christ."
Pappy: "Well, atleast we ain't in the position of having to babysit our platoon Commander."
Brad: "I heard back in the rear once they had a plan to push Navy psychiatrists forward to combat units. Yeah, I scoffed then, but if ever there was a candidate to be locked up in a rubber tent, we know who he is."
Pappy: "Can you imagine what the doctors would make of Ray Person?"
Brad: "Need I remind you that he is the best damn RTO in the business? As long as you keep him away from your uglier daughters and your smaller livestock. No. The individual who needs his head examined is the man responsible for taking arguably the finest damn independent recon operators of any military in the world, and dropping us in Humvee platoons to lead a parade of POGs, officers, and heavily armed subhuman morons like Casey Kasem across Mesopotamia. How much does Uncle Sam spend on us? Jump school, dive school, mountain warfare, ranger school, SERE. That's a million dollars on avergae to train up 0321s like us. And here we are, perfectly tuned Ferraris in a demolition derby."
Kocher: "It sure isn't Afghanistan. Any of us had been running our teams in that AO, we sure as shit wouldn't have dropped a bomb on that village like they did this morning."
Brad: "Gentlemen, to Afghanistan."
Hasser: [about the main gun] "Without the right lubricant, it's the smae thing again and again. Sucker just jams."
Brad: "We just ahve to accept that the only dependable weapon you have up there is your saw."
Ray: [walking up to the Humvee] "Hey, hey, hey. You guys, I just did a really dirty thing. You know what picture of Rolling Stone's girlfriend?"
Brad: "I think it's safe to say we all know her intimately at this point."
Ray: "Well, I got it back from Bravo Three, and I swear to God I was gonna give it back to him. But I ran into Wasik on the way over here. I traded that bitch for some pec-2 batteries!"
Brad: "Ray, you pimped her out."
Ray: "She is a dirty little hoochie, isn't she?" [Brad smiles]
Brad: "You got any for the thermals?"
Ray: "Jesus, dude, it's a picture of a reporter's girlfriend, not of J Lo's *** dripping t**t."
Brad: "Yeah you're right. Walt, get some sleep."
Hasser: "I'm gonna give this another try, Brad. You get some sleep."
Brad: "Thanks, Walt."
Ray: "Brad. Brad, get up."
Brad: "56 minutes. I've been asleep for 56 minutes."
Ray: "Team leader meeting."
Brad: "56 minutes and just one dream."
Ray: "At least you got the dream."
Brad: "I dreamt I was in Iraq."
Ray: "Were you naked?" | | . |
Telegraph UK October 2, 2009
- "To go from Generation Kill, which is a very real, dark, gritty series, to True Blood, which is flamboyant, crazy, way out there… I couldn’t ask for two better jobs"
- [on fame at the age of 13] "The fame was scary to me. When people stare at you and you read about yourself in papers, at 13 it just got very confusing. I thought that if this is what it’s like to be famous I don’t like it one bit."
- [what he did after his service in the Navy, during the time he had quit acting] "I was watching football, hanging out, getting drunk and into trouble for six months. But it was then that these thoughts came up, what do I want to do with my life? Acting came up again and I thought maybe I should give it a last go. So I went to New York and went to theatre school and as soon as I started I knew I really missed this."
- [on Generation Kill] "It was such a profound experience for me. Being away that long, the friendships I created with the other guys out there, and how important it was just to tell that story. People don’t know much about what’s going on on the ground in Iraq: what you see in the media is heavily censored. I’ve never worked on a project like that before and I don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance to do it again."
- [on meeting the real Sergeant Brad 'Iceman Colbert] "I was very nervous. He never asked for this, to become an HBO series. So I didn’t know how he’d react to it if he felt that I’d messed it up. Plus I had so much respect for him, it was tremendously important for me to get his acceptance."
- [so, did he feel accepted] "Well, he didn’t kill me so that’s a good sign I guess. He’s the freakin’ Iceman, he could have done."
- [does he talk about work with his father] "Of course we discuss work a lot. If your dad is a carpenter and you’re a carpenter you’d probably talk about it. But for me it’s always been important to make my own mistakes and not have him guide me in Hollywood or open doors. I need that to build my confidence and really feel like I deserved the parts, that it’s not because of my name."
KCRW Guest DJ Project, September 2009
- [about Rolling Stone's 'Mother's Little Helper] "I spent a week at my Dad's country house in southern Sweden. His grandfather built that house 9 years ago and my dad, it's very important to him to maintain it like the way it was built, to preserve it and not to modernize it too much. So, there is no running water there. If you want to take a shower you have to go out to the well and pump up water and pour it over yourself. When I was a kid, me and my Dad would go out and pump up water, pour it over each other and sing this song. So I want to dedicate this song to my old man and I want to thank him for not building a jacuzzi out there or an infinity pool or anything like that."
- "At the time , I didn't know a word of English but it didn't stop me from shouting, ‘ra pa doo pa da da dee…' I just made up jibberish but it was just a beautiful thing to share with my Dad singing that song. I couldn't care less what we were saying."
- [about Ebba Grön's 800 °C] "When I was a teenager I was a punk rocker. This was in the early 90's and it was like 15 years after it was cool to be a punk rocker. Everyday after school I would bring my boombox out to this park and I would sit there with my friends singing and watch the sunset and listen to loud, angry, fast music. One of my best friends from back then, he's sick. He's been in and out of the hospital for a couple of years now. This is like an old Swedish punk song from the late 70's that I would like to dedicate to him. I hope he gets better soon so we can get a chance to drink cheap beer and bitch about the decay of our civilization. This is Ebba Grön (dedicates it to his friend in Swedish)"
- "I was kind of a half ass punk rocker. I didn't go full punk. Ebba Grön started the Swedish punk wave in the mid-70's so this was 15 years after that but we loved this band and listened to them all the time."
- [is the band still around] "They're not but they are still very, very famous in Sweden. I still love them and think they are an amazing band."
- [about the Buzzcock's 'Ever Fallen in Love'] "Yeah, I had this girlfriend awhile ago, many years ago, and it was a very passionate relationship. I was very much in love with this girl, but after a few months we both realized we weren’t good for each other. But it was one of those relationships that we didn’t make each other happy, but every time we broke up, we ended up back together and that went on for almost 3 years. I don’t know if you’ve experienced that, but it just killed me. It was really, really tough. I just tried to move on and so did she but we just couldn’t. I want to dedicate this song to her and I hope she found happiness somewhere out there."
- "Every time after a fight I would just put on my big headphones and I would crank up the volume and go Pete Shelley freakin’ gets it. In a way she will always be a part of me, but I don’t have to listen to Buzzcocks and cry every day and night any more. I can actually listen to it now and enjoy it because it’s a great song."
- [about Van Morrison's 'Brown Eyed Girl] "When I was a kid we went on a lot of road trips and my mom had this song that she always wanted to play. She is a very considerate person, my mom, so she would always ask the kids and my Dad if it was okay if she played the song. Like I mentioned before, I was a punk rocker so I would just shrug my shoulders and be like ‘oh whatever, I don’t care.’ So I want to dedicate this song, my mom’s favorite song, to her and I want her to know that even though I would never admit it at the time, I actually loved it every time she put it on."
- [is there a piece of music that takes him home when he's feeling homesick] "It’s kind of tough because I am the only one in my family here in LA. The rest of my family lives in Sweden so music is great for that. I just put on a song and it brings me right back home."
- [about Iggy Pop's 'The Passenger'] "I’ve been in LA for five years now, on and off. Growing up in Stockholm, Sweden that transition, it’s not easy because Stockholm is a very densely populated place, you walk or you ride your bike. Most of my friends are within just a few blocks away from each other and coming out here was kind of tricky. Suddenly you’re in a city where it’s considered normal to sit in traffic for 45 minutes for coffee with a friend or people drive Hummers to the gym so I’ve kind of spent five years complaining about LA and talking about how much greater Stockholm is, how good it is back there. I was just there for two weeks and when I landed I flew into LAX and I had this really weird feeling when we touched ground. I felt like I was coming home. I’ve never felt that before so this last song I actually want to dedicate to Los Angeles and I hate to admit it but I think I’m falling in love."
Comic-Con, September 2009
- [how did Alan tell him to go with the tin foil hair scene in True Blood] "Well, I was wearing a wig ... and we all felt that maybe it was time to get rid of it. And they kinda needed a way to get rid of it, and came up with that, and I just kinda loved it; I thought it was a great idea."
- [are we going to get more flashback scenes] "I truly hope so. We have like ... I wanted more stuff with me and Godric, I thought that would be fun. Because Allan Hyde, the guy that plays Godric, is really good, a really fun guy, and he'd be fun to ... I mean Eric and Godric hung around for almost a thousand years together and had a lot of fun together so I think there's definitely a possibility for more flashbacks."
- [about Eric] "I think he's kind of in general over humanity, he's kind of like, they're not very interesting to him. He's kind of like, whatever, they're kind of naive and that interaction doesn't give him anything at all. But Sookie's obviously different; there's something interesting about her and he doesn't really know what it is and I think that kind of triggers him."
Philippine Daily Inquirer, July 1, 2009
- [did he look at screen vampires for inspiration for his role in True Blood] "Yeah, when I did my research, I re-watched movies that I’ve seen, like the old “Nosferatu” with Max Schreck from the ’20s, Bela Lugosi’s “Dracula,” and Werner Herzog’s “Nosferatu” from the ’70s. Obviously, Eric Northman’s quite a different character. But diving into that old culture of vampirism was to get my creativity and inspiration going, basically. When you create a world with vampires, it’s up to you if you wanna do the whole thing with crosses or garlic or what happens when a vampire meets the sun. We hung on to a couple of those, but some of them we just dismissed. So it’s very open to interpretation."
- [how much did playing Brad Colbert on Generation Kill affect the way he looks at the war and the US Marines] "My take on the war in general didn’t change much. My opinion was, it was a mistake to go into Iraq. That has not changed at all. What you see in the media is very polarized, very censored in a way, what’s going on in Iraq or Afghanistan. So for me at least, this was the first experience where I actually got to see it from the perspective of the boots on the ground, what the soldiers went through on a daily basis out there. But some of them are just kids, with dreams and hopes, and families back home. Also, a guy like Colbert, one of the senior guys, he really believes in what he’s doing and coming into Iraq. He has a mission, he knows how to execute it … and he really believes this is a good cause. Being Colbert the leader, he had to stay focused and keep his guys motivated. And for me, as an actor, it’s a very interesting thing to play on."
- [on his bond with his GK costars and how it developed] "
We were so isolated. Being out in the Namibian desert was so surreal. It felt like you’re stuck on a different planet … Suddenly, you embark on this journey; you’re gonna be out there for seven months with people that you’ve never met before. You’ve got a huge script in your hands with tons of words that you don’t even understand and you have two days to make them your own and be this character. Then you see all these big Marine guys, “All right, get ready for boot camp!” Then you’re out running and, “What’s going on?” It was scary and you felt like a little kid. People would really open up when they’re bored. In just a few weeks, I knew more about these guys’ family lives than I knew some of my friends’ that I’ve known for years!" - [did that make acting easier] "It really did. In a way, I think it was good that we were that isolated because the guys we portrayed were also isolated and in an environment that was new to them. If we had shot this in California, in the desert outside of Los Angeles, they could just drive back to their families. It would have been a completely different experience."
Sci-Fi Wire, June 15, 2009
- [did he find it helpful reading Charlaine's novels to build a backstory for Eric, or did Alan Ball discourage it] "No. Before we started season one, I read the first five books just to give me some backstory and to help me dive into the world and understand the world that Charlaine created and my character of Eric. But once we started shooting season one, it was a little confusing reading the books and the scripts at the same time, because they are a little bit different. Actually it was quite confusing to try and figure out what was from the books and the series. But it was great to have them as a backstory in creating the character."
- [did Alan give him lots of notes and direction on how to portray Eric] "Alan has given me a tremendous amount of freedom, and he really lets us go and explore our characters. It’s given me a lot of confidence and energy and enthusiasm as an actor to have that from a show runner."
- [does he invest a lot of his own time in creating Eric's look] "Yes, it’s a collaboration I have with Audrey Fisher, the costume designer. She’s amazing. We have a fantastic relationship. We have fittings every week where we get together and talk to bounce around ideas. It’s something we play around with and come up with together."
- [is there anything he is particularly proud of in Eric's repertoire] "The stuff I wear on the show is always stuff that I’m happy with because I pick it with Audrey. But in season one, it was my idea to come out in sweat pants and flip flops. I thought it would be kind of a weird and disturbing image to see a vampire guy kill and rip a guy apart in flip flops."
- [how did Swedish come to be his private conversation language with Pam] "We talked about it before we started season one, because we really wanted to establish that he was a very old vampire. We talked about him having a stronger, European accent at first. But I felt that he’s a thousand years old, so he’s probably fluent in different languages. My thought was that it was more interesting if he speaks English, but he also flips into Swedish here and there and maybe some other languages too. But it’s been tough for Kristin Bauer, who plays Pam, because she doesn’t speak a word of Swedish. I work with her before we shoot the scene just to make sure that she gets it." [chuckles]
- "It also establishes Pam and Eric’s relationship and that they have something in common. I think it’s interesting and something we can play around with a lot when we are in a room with a lot of people so I can say something in Swedish that only Pam will understand. There will be more of that in season two. We actually have a couple of scenes coming up that are all in Swedish."
- [how does Eric see Bill] "Compared to Bill, I think Eric is so old. He’s been around for a thousand years, so he kind of sees Bill as this naive little kid. He’s not even two hundred years old. I think he sees him as kind of pathetic sometimes. In a way, Eric’s jaded because he’s been around for a long time. It’s hard to impress a guy like him, and it’s hard to intrigue a guy like him. So there lies the attraction to Sookie, because he picks up on something that he doesn’t really understand [about her]. He’s doesn’t know what that is and it intrigues him."
- [does he see Eric as an old school or progressive vampire] "Eric is definitely progressive, and he adapts. I mean vampires came out of the coffin three years, and he’s already an entrepreneur. He’s running Fangtasia and making tons of money with merchandising. He’s not going to hide in a cave somewhere in Transylvania."
IESB, June 22, 2009
- [what can viewers expect from season 2 of True Blood] "They can expect a lot. A lot is going on. In Season 1, we had to create the world, invite the audience into that world, establish all the characters and tell the audience a little bit about that. Now, in Season 2, we can hit the ground running because the audience is already on board and is already a part of this world. It’s going to get pretty crazy, from the get-go. A bunch of us go to Dallas to find an old, missing friend of Eric’s. At the same time, crazy stuff is going on in Bon Temps. Major mayhem is going on there. It’s going to be a wild season. From Eric’s point of view, it’s much more personal than Season 1. In Season 1, Eric was the entrepreneur, doing his thing, and walking around and being the bad-ass vampire. In Season 2, you’ll hopefully understand him a little bit better and see more than just the evil vampire that people sometimes think he is."
- [does Eric enjoy the mayhem and craziness] "He enjoys it. He enjoys the attention and he enjoys being in the midst of it because he’s very confident and he knows how skillful and strong he is. He likes adventure, for sure, but he’s not thrilled about what he has to do in Dallas. It is very personal and it’s something that means very much to him. So, it’s not a vacation, where he’s just going out to play. It’s definitely a matter of life and death for him."
- [will viewers get to learn more about Eric's motivations in season 2] "Absolutely! After Season 1, people came up to me and were like, “Oh, you’re the evil vampire leader on True Blood.” I understand why people would think that, but I would always have to defend Eric because I think there’s so much more to the character than that. There is actually a more sensitive, vulnerable and loyal side to him as well."
- [does he enjoy doing gruesome scenes in True Blood] "Yeah, I love it. Eric didn’t do anything in Season 1. You can sense that he is violent, strong and powerful, but he didn’t have to show it, at all, in Season 1. I think the audience wants to see a little example of that, and we give it to them."
- [what is it like to work with Stephen Moyer] "I love Stephen. He’s a fantastic guy and we’re having a lot of fun on set, which is good because we spend a lot of time on set, just hanging out. Eric sees Bill as pathetic. He’s a kid. He’s not even 200 years old, and he’s naive. Eric is much more jaded and he’s seen so much more than Bill has. Bill is old school and he believes in humanity, in a way that Eric doesn’t anymore."
- [was he surprised at the huge acclaim the show received] "Yeah, I was shocked. I’m pretty much a glorified extra in Season 1. I didn’t do much. I didn’t expect anything, and I was overwhelmed when it started airing and I got all the reactions. It was very flattering, of course."
- [because Eric can be so brutal, does he worry about making him likeable] "No, I want people to like him and understand him, but at the same time, know that he’s super-aggressive, ruthless and a killer. I think it’s that duality, with both sides of him, that makes him very interesting, as a character."
- [why does he think Eric is attracted to Sookie] "Eric doesn’t really know what it is that intrigues him. He’s been around for a thousand years and he’s quite jaded. He doesn’t think much of humanity anymore. And then, she comes along and there’s something there, but he can’t really put his finger on what it is. He can’t really read her, and that definitely intrigues him."
- [what is it like working with Anna Paquin] "It sounds so cheesy and people always say it, but I have a blast on set with Anna and Stephen. I really, really love the cast. It is a pleasure going to work, every morning. Hopefully, people will see that we actually really do enjoy being on set and working together, in the dynamics of the relationships between us."
- [what's been the most enjoyable thing about working on the show, and the most challenging] "I enjoy everything. Every single part of it is great — just going to work, every day, and working on this show. It’s HBO and it’s Alan Ball. Just look at the cast, and the writing is phenomenal. I couldn’t ask for a better job. I’m so happy to have the job. And, it was challenging, definitely in the beginning, when I was trying to find the character. I was reading the books and trying to figure out who this guy was, and also trying to find that balance of making him likeable, but menacing. I wanted people to be intimidated by him, but intrigued, at the same time."
- [was it difficult getting used to the fangs] "In the beginning, it was definitely tricky. It was really hard. They come out when you’re aroused or aggressive, and it doesn’t really fit, if you can’t talk with them. It definitely took some practice."
- [does he feel he now has a better understanding of why people are so intrigued by vampires and the genre] "Yeah. First of all, sex and violence are always something that attracts an audience, and vampire stories usually have a lot of both. And, vampires symbolize consistency and something that’s permanent, in a world where everything is constantly changing — humans, animals, nature and even mountains will change over time. To have something that will just stand the test of time is attractive. Eric has been around for a thousand years, and he hasn’t changed one bit. That intrigues people. What makes good drama is that people are intrigued by that and drawn towards it, but at the same time, that comfort they feel in something that is consistent, is also lethal and can kill them in a second. That creates a good platform for drama."
- [are there any characteristics of Eric's that he wishes he had, or that he could apply to his own life] "Yeah, all of them. As an actor, I believe the character has to be born within you, and come from within you. It has to be that organic. Obviously, you have to dig deeper to find some things than others. Some things just come naturally, and some things you really have to dig within you to find. But, as human beings, we have all those characteristics within us. I don’t believe in good people and evil people. I think we’re all a combination of both."
- [how did he get involved with Lady Gaga's music video] "The director, Jonas Akerlund, is a very good friend of mine. He called me and told me about the project and said, “Does that sound like a fun thing?” And, it did. I liked the story and his pitch of it. I just thought it was a fun thing to do."
- [is he hoping to continue working in both Sweden and the US, or just the US] "I live in the States and my career is based here, but I’m going back in August, for a week or two, to complete a movie that I started last year. Even though I don’t live there, Stockholm will always be my home. My friends and my family are there, and I grew up there. I hope to be able to go back regularly and work on Swedish projects as well."
- [are there any types of roles or specific genres that he's hoping to do] "I’d like to jump from one character to another, that are different, and from one genre to another, that are quite different. What keeps me motivation and going and on my toes is to find new challenges and find projects that are different from what I’ve just done. Going from Generation Kill, two years ago, to True Blood was a completely different project and a completely different character. That triggers my creativity. Hopefully, after Season 2, I’ll do a movie or two, where I can find characters that are different from Eric."
PopWrap, June 2009
- [how did the scene in True Blood where Eric had tin foil in his hair come about] "We had a lot of fun with that scene. I worked on that with the costume designer, wanting to find something weird or disturbing and flip flops was probably the weirdest outfit we could come up with for a badass vampire to wear while killing a guy."
- [was it hard looking scary in that outfit] "That’s what I loved about the scene; I could have come down in a long black leather cape, looking tough. But I came down with foil wrapped tips. Look, Eric’s beauty session with Pam was interrupted. What can I say?"
- "Nelsan who plays Lafayette is so amazing. He’s created such an incredible character. I mean, you can not kill that guy! He’s too good. We need him on the show!"
- [did he know Eric was going to have a bigger role in season 2] "Well, before I started filming season one, I read the first five books, so I had a vague idea that season one would just be an introducing to Eric and he’d develop more in further seasons. I love that we’re starting to show other sides of Eric besides being the badass vampire. There’s so much more to him and he’s got a lot at stake, personally, in season two."
- [why does he think people responded to Eric so strongly] "That’s a good question because I was quite overwhelmed with the response last year. I know that Eric has a lot of fans from the books, but I was a glorified extra in season one, so I was very surprised that I got so much attention. But even though he’s not always there, when he does come in, there is a mystery about him. I don’t know, something resonated about Eric and I’m still not sure what it is."
- [what does Eric think of Sookie] "Eric is intrigued by Sookie. When you’ve been around for 1,000 years, you become jaded, you’re not easily impressed. Especially by a human! Then Sookie comes along and surprises him. So when that happens, you’re obviously going to try and figure out what makes them tick."
- [how does Eric and Sookie's relationship grow] "A bunch of us go to Dallas because a friend of mine has gone missing, which is why season two is so personal for Eric. We’ll actually see another side of him, see that Eric is loyal and caring and sensitive. I mean, he’s still the same old Eric, don’t get me wrong, there’s just more to him than being an evil vampire."
Oslopuls Film, March 6, 2009
- "I was in LA two years ago, when my agent told me that they lacked an actor to a new HBO series that David Simon and Ed Burns worked with. The Wire was great, so I ran and bought the book it is based, which made the big impression. I was naturally very motivated and had a terrible light on the role. So I went to New York and was with the leseprøver. I was fighting nervous! After five days of intense hold I got to know that my role was. Three days later, I sat on a plane to Namibia and was gone in seven months!"
- "Well, no it is perhaps not so. Ten years ago I was on holiday with dad in LA, where he worked on a film. One day I visited him on set, it was an agent who saw me and thought I should take this opportunity to go on an audition. So I did it, and had a small role in Ben Stiller comedy Zoolander. On the basis of what I got both the agent and manager in LA, which is crucial to get a few jobs there."
- "No, I do not just sell the movie tickets by having the name Aleksander Skarsgård at the poster, he laughs. But the dad’s name opened the door for 10 years, and getting my first audition in Hollywood, it is clear. I had to find my own way, and through hard work, I’ve proven that I am more than a name"
- "I was a child actor and was in both movies, theater and TV Shows. At the beginning of 2000-century was the Swedish film very little exciting, the offers I got was either series or bad comedies, so I did not know I had nothing to lose by going to LA."
True Blood Net Interview, February 2009
- [did he read the books before he got the part in True Blood] "No, I read a couple when I was doing research, when I got the part right before we started season one, and then, once we started, I found that it was kind of hard to read the books simultaneously, as we were shooting, because you’re reading one book and your working on season one, which is, obviously, book one, so I found, when I’m on hiatus, I read. But now, we started season two just a couple weeks ago, so I’m not going to read anything until we’re done in June or July because it confuses me a lot."
- "Yeah, ‘cuz we have all these scripts and this story line, and we’re working on Living Dead in Dallas right now, and reading another book is just, it’s complicated enough to know just where we are on the storyline in the script."
- [did it help to have read ahead] "Yeah, I mean, of course it did, because when I read the first book, I mean, he’s barely in the first book. But it helped a lot to read a couple of the others. And then as an actor, you have to make the character your own. You have to pay respect to Eric and who he is in the books, but also he had to become a part of me so at a certain point you need to, kind of, step away from the books and make the character your own, and make your own decisions, and your own choices, based on what you already have, and not stay too true to the books and not let that confine you in any way."
- [how does it feel to be on the edge of a cultural phenomenon, speechless] "Yeah, really? Honestly, I don’t read those blogs on the internet about True Blood, or those forums they have, because I don’t think it’s going to be good for me. We’re shooting season two right now and I know that I’m gonna read stuff that I don’t wanna read, and that’s going to get stuck in my head, and I’m going to get self conscious and worry about that. So I’m trying to stay away from that."
- "Yeah, no, I mean, obviously, I realize that the show is doing very well and that there’s tons of fans out there, and that means a lot. Without that we wouldn’t be able to do a second season, you know. So I’m very grateful about that and I know that comes with a tremendous responsibility to all the fans out there. But that being said, I’m just saying that I know some actors are very comfortable spending hours online, Googling their own names, while reading the blogs and forums where they’re about True Blood and their characters. It’s just, I don’t know, I’d get very self conscious if I did that. And I would read something bad and I would be like, “Oh really… maybe… oh shit, is that true?” So, I think it’s better for me to stay away from that."
- [what direction is he taking Eric in season 2] "Well, I don’t want to talk too much about the direction. I can say, I know that some people that I’ve talked to feel that Eric… they’re like, “Oh, he’s the bad guy”, and I’m trying to make sure that people realize that he’s more complex than that. He’s not a bad guy. So that’s important for me this season to show more sides to his personality and a bit more depth than just the bad guy, you know. Because that’s not how I see him."
- [what was his most memorable scene to shoot in season 1 of True Blood] "Well to me, it was the one in episode 4, my first scene, and Kristin’s first scene as well. I mean obviously, this was my very first scene, the first time I met the rest of the cast and the crew and my first scene playing Eric. It was a pretty big scene. An important moment for me. So that was very memorable."
- [which scene was it that he was filming first] "It’s the one when Stephen and Anna comes to Fangtasia for the first time. It’s in episode 4. She comes to question me about these girls that have died or got killed, and I’m up on my little throne there, and she shows me pictures and stuff. And I realize that there’s something quite interesting about this girl, the first time I meet her, so, that was a very memorable scene to shoot for me."
- [which scene would he like to forget filming] "I honestly don’t have a scene that I feel like, “Oh I really want to forget this.” I mean, knock on wood, so far so good. I don’t have a terrible experience like that. Yet."
- [about Eric's fashion sense] "Yeah, well I talked to Audrey, the costume designer, a lot about that. I kinda like the idea, especially when he’s, like, roaming around his office, chillin’ back there. I kinda like the idea of having him in just sweat pants and flip flops even though he’s the most powerful vampire in Louisiana. I just wanted to get away from him walking around in big leather coats and being all menacing all the time. I thought it would be more interesting if he’s kind of casual. He doesn’t have to, you know – he knows he’s powerful, he knows he’s got all the attention and people will obey him. He knows that, and he doesn’t have to try too hard, you know."
- [what are his thoughts on Eric and Pam's relationship, has he and Kristin talked about it] "Oh yeah, we talk a lot about it, and Kristin is a very good friend of mine, so we hang out a lot and we have fun together and hopefully that will… I mean I think Pam is like his spoiled daughter. And she gets away with more than anyone else around Eric. It’s kinda like, Eric, you know if you had a big CEO of a huge company and people around him all day, they’re all like, “Yes sir, yes sir,” When he talks they nod and when he tells a bad joke they laugh and then he comes home to his little daughter and she’s like, “Dad you bought the standard version of the little mermaid!” and he’s like, “Oh I’m sorry, honey! I’m sorry! I’ll get the right one!” I think it’s a little like that, you know. He’s bossing people around all day, and you… he… when it’s important she’ll do whatever he tells her to do. But she definitely gets away with way more than anyone else, and he respects her a lot. She’s very important to him. More important than anyone else."
- [would he like to do more writing and directing] "Yeah I think. So I’ve been… I did that back in Scandinavia a bit. I went to Africa two years ago to do another HBO show, and before I got that job I was working on something that I wrote in Sweden and I was about to direct there. So it’s just been kind of hectic the last two years. With Generation Kill, the show we did in Africa, and True Blood, but as soon as I get a break, I’d love to go back and continue working on that project for sure."
- [does he prefer doing movies or television shows] "My last two jobs were both television shows and both of them are like, I mean the people I work with on both Generation Kill and now True Blood are, I mean they’re amazing. So I think the quality of television today with HBO and Showtime are… it’s so good. So it doesn’t really matter. I don’t care if it’s movies or television, what’s important is the quality of the script and the people you work with."
- [on his experience shooting Generation Kill] "Yeah we spent, for those who haven’t seen it, it’s a mini series about a platoon of recon Marines in Iraq in ‘03. You follow these guys throughout the first five weeks of the invasion in the spring of 2003. We shot that in Africa last year, or in 07 actually. We spent seven months out there, shooting that in the desserts of Namibia, So. Africa, Mozambique. So it was, I mean, it was a very intense job. It was tough because you spent so much time away from friends and family, and you’re very isolated. But at the same time, the show was created by Ed Burns and David Simon, who created The Wire and the cast was amazing so to me. It was definitely the experience of a life time. It was an amazing job."
- [about the Marine terminology used in GK] "I know. Believe me, the first time I read the script, I was like, “Whoa, what’s going on here?” I didn’t understand half the words. So it took a lot of… I had to work a lot on understanding what I was talking about… the lingo there. But that’s what I really liked about the script as well. It’s not so accessible, it’s not, you know, sometimes it think they explain too much. You know, they do a movie about Marines but they kind of cater to a broader audience, so they always explain every single word. Which takes away from the authenticity of the project. I kind of like when you don’t understand every thing. I’m a big fan of The Wire and it’s the same thing. Sometimes you don’t really understand what they’re talking about, or you don’t understand some of the words, but you kind of feel like you’re a small fly on the wall. Because you’re not supposed to understand every single word, because you’re not used to that environment, that kind of language."
- [on GK] "It was important for us to tell their story. Because it’s not really being told, you don’t see much about what’s going on over there. And you know, it’s very censored, what you see in the media, and you don’t really hear much about ‘going on from the boots on the ground. So it was very important to make it real, make it legit, and hopefully make those guys proud, yeah."
- [on the songs they sing in GK] "Some of it was kind of improvised, us coming up with stuff. Some of it was scripted. Some of the scripted songs I knew and some of them we had to work on, or I had to work on the lyrics. You know, quite often we were, you know, when you do stuff like that, when you drive around, it’s kind of like a road trip, in a way, and there is boredom, you know. They spent hours and hours just driving and they’re not supposed to know the lyrics. You know what it is, you’re in you’re car and you just sing along and someone starts, and you just, you know… if you know every 10th word that’s it, you know. That’s good enough. You just hum, you know?"
- [does he have anyone who inspires him right now] "Well I think everything, it sounds kind of pretentious, but everything in life, everything around you everything you experience and see and do is helpful in your acting. I mean my father is an actor, so getting into acting, I don’t know, that might have played a part. I mean he was working on stage and I was sleeping, when I was a kid, so I spent most of my childhood running around backstage. So I kind of grew up on theater so.. I get inspired every time I see a good movie or performance, I’m inspired. It’s not like I had one I had a poster of someone all in my ,and I light a candle for every time I go to bed."
- [does he know the length of his commitment to True Blood] "Well I don’t know, so much can happen, I guess. Who knows. We never know. We shoot a season at a time and then in the summer, when season two airs, we’ll find out if it’s going to go into a 3rd season, and if my character is still in it. I don’t know, I kind of focus on one season at a time. I know that we’re going to try to do 12 episodes now, and I’ll be working on that, and who knows what’s going to happen in the future."
The Manila Times, June 2009
- "I enjoy challenges in my work. You’re not necessarily super confident when you embark on the journey where it’s going to end or where it’s going to take you. I thrive in situations like that, I really love that. I’m in a state of where I’m very creative and I enjoy exploring my characters. I would not want to play the exact same character in 15 movies back to back."
- "Generation Kill is a very gritty, down-to-earth kind of show, with a very documentary feel to it, with no soundtrack and very real in the way it’s portrayed. True Blood is much more over the top, much more crazy . . . as a show it’s much more colorful in a way and much more inviting."
- "There’s no real plan when I’m looking for a project or characters, it’s just a gut feeling and it starts with the material and the script: if I feel something when I read the script, if there’s a connection to a character, to the idea of the script and then obviously the circumstances, who’s going to direct it, who are the other actors. It has to be something that gets me inspired and creative and excited. If there’s none of that, it’s really hard for me to create a character and make him real."
- [about the guys on GK] "We basically had to create our own family out there, in many ways similar to what happens in a war situation where you’re stuck in an environment and all you have is each other."
- "We’re so tight today, all the guys from Generation Kill. We hang out all the time, we talk all the time. It’s always great when you meet with friends from projects you’ve worked on before but I’ve never had this intense feeling I get every time I see the guys from Generation Kill. It definitely changed me. Suddenly, I have 32 brothers for life."
- "For me, dramatically as an actor, it’s a very interesting thing to play on, someone who has to be strong, who has to be a leader, who has to motivate his guys, because if they’re not motivated, they’re all the more likely to make mistakes and kill civilians and also get killed themselves if they’re not sharp. At the same time, he has this internal struggle of not knowing if what they’re doing is right or wrong. It’s something very fascinating to me."
- "It was tough for me to come back to the States after seven months in desert, just trying to readjust to everyday American life, but I would never compare that to what these guys had to go through when they came home seeing what they saw out there."
- "What we did was fiction. It was all fake at the end of the day. It was a very humbling experience to have our military advisers behind the camera."
- [about the bond he built in Africa with his Generation Kill costars] "I can’t even describe how much that means to me, that’s something I’ll have with me for the rest of my life and I know these guys are going to be part of my life forever."
Today Online, 2009
- [about his father] "His guidance is basically just follow your heart and follow your passion. I was a child actor in Sweden when I was 13. I was not comfortable with the attention I got. I told my dad I didn’t want to do this any more and he was very supportive."
- "So I spent seven years of just being a teenager, hanging out, playing football. I went to college and joined the Swedish Marines, and I lived in England for a while. I needed those years to find my way back into really missing acting. I’m very grateful … because I’m pretty convinced that I wouldn’t be acting today if he did push me."
- "Generation Kill is a very gritty, down-to-earth kind of show with a very documentary feeling to it,” he said. “True Blood is much more over-the-top; much more crazy-out-there. Brad is much more low-key than Eric. He is a leader, but he doesn’t like being in the limelight. He has this internal struggle of not knowing if what they’re doing is right or wrong."
- "Well, I think James exaggerated a bit. I think we had one or two nights during the shoot when I left my hotel room and went out. It was just a way of relaxing for a few hours, because it was so intense. Just to drink a couple of beers and hang out with all the guys and sing. I’m a Swedish Viking, so when we party, we go pretty much all in. I don’t go out very often, but when I go out I’m very happy. And I’m, you know, yeah."
Channel 4 Interview UK 2009
- [did he grow up proud of his father's success, or take it for granted] "He wasn’t that big a star when I grew up. The thing that brought him to Hollywood was Breaking the Waves, the Lars von Trier movie, which was in 1996. I was already 20 years old by that point. Growing up, my father was working at a theatre in Stockholm, so he was mostly a stage actor. He did movies as well, but smaller Swedish movies. I’ve got younger siblings, and it was different for them. They did more of the travelling around the world, being on sets and all of that exotic stuff. For me, it was running around backstage at the theatre, and I didn’t really think much about it."
- "Yeah. I’ve got a brother who’s two months old, and it’s kind of difficult to say what he’ll do! But I’m the oldest, I’ve got a brother who’s four years younger than I am, and he’s an actor back home in Sweden. And I have another brother who’s 18, who’s working doing movies in Sweden right now as well."
- [how old was he when he started acting] "Seven. I did my first movie when I was seven, and then I worked for about six years, doing movies and television in Sweden. But then I quit when I was 13, and didn’t work at all for seven years."
- [on why he quit acting] "This was in 1989, and back then in good old Sweden, we only had two TV channels. I did a movie for television there, and whatever was on, people would watch, so the impact that had back then was huge. Suddenly people recognised me wherever I went, and it just made me very uncomfortable. It was a weird age to become famous. I didn’t know how to handle it, and I was very self-conscious and stressed out about the whole situation. I just wanted to be one of the guys, so I quit, basically. I didn’t have the urge to act for seven years."
- [on what drew him back to acting] "I was 20, and like most guys of that age I was trying to figure out what to do with my life. I was thinking about different options, and naturally acting came up again, and I thought about it, and I felt that it might be different now I’m 20 instead of 13. Hopefully I’m a bit more sure of who I am and what I want in life, and maybe I can handle it better than I did when I was 13. Leaving acting had never had anything to do with the craft, the work, at all. It was only because I wasn’t comfortable being recognised, and I thought that might be better. So I decided to give it a go again, and went to New York to study theatre for a while, and got hooked pretty instantly."
- [is True Blood like Buffy] "I wouldn’t know. I’ve never seen Buffy!"
- [so True Blood isn't aimed at kids] "No! Definitely not! It’s pretty dark."
- [on what Eric Northman is like] "He’s the sheriff of Area Five, which basically means he’s the sheriff of the vampires in Louisiana. He’s one of the oldest vampires around, and one of the strongest and most powerful. He’s a true entrepreneur, he’s got a nightclub in Shreveport, and he sees this as an opportunity to make money. Curious humans will come into the club and buy souvenirs and see real vampires, and he uses that and makes money from it."
- [how does he play a character with a thousand year old back story] "Well, I think he’s got huge confidence, and also he doesn’t waste time. He’s been around for that long, so he cuts to the chase and gets down to business. And it’s hard to impress a guy like that, because he’s seen it all. That’s why he’s intrigued by Sookie because there’s something new here, something interesting and different about her that he can’t really put his finger on. In general he’s not very interested in humans, they don’t impress him, he thinks they’re naïve and stupid in general. But there’s something different about Sookie, and that intrigues him. That’s what gets his attention, basically."
- [did he read the books when he got the part] "Yeah. I read the first five books before we started season one, but when we started shooting, it was just too confusing to keep reading the books because I didn’t want to end up wondering if I’d read something in the book or in the script. But we’re on hiatus now, so I’m going to go back and read a few more."
- [did it add to his excitement when he discovered he'd be working with Alan Ball] "Oh yeah, yeah. I reacted like most people would do when I heard it was a vampire show, I thought ‘Whoa, I have no idea what this is going to be like.’ But then, when they told me that he was behind it, that made me very interested in working on it."
- [why does he think we're all fascinated by the vampire genre] "I think it has to do with immortality and eternal youth. What creates a platform for good drama is that that is so alluring and intriguing to people. Immortality and eternal youth are so attractive, yet the fact that vampires are also lethal predators who could kill you in an instant creates great platforms for drama, I think. You have that duality. An encounter with a vampire could let you live forever, or you could become vampire food."
- [is Generation Kill also a book] "Yeah, it’s based on a book written by Evan Wright, who was a journalist who was embedded with First Reconnaissance Battalion of the US Marines for the first five weeks of the Iraq invasion in 2003. It’s basically about his experience of that journey."
- [are the events prtrayed in Generation Kill accurate to what really happened] "Yeah, everything that is on the show happened in real life. One of the actors is a real Marine, and plays himself on the show. We had two other guys from First Reconnaissance with us for the duration of the shoot, which was seven months in Africa. They were behind the camera for every single take every single day, making sure that everything was legit and was real, and what we say and what we do on the show happened for real. It was very important to us to show exactly what happened, and not make it into a Hollywood series or movie where everything is dramatised, and things are added or removed. We just wanted to tell it exactly as it was, and I hope we succeeded in doing that"
- [what's Sergeant Brad Colbert like] "He’s a team leader, a sergeant, and one of the senior guys in First Reconnaissance, but he’s not as macho as the other guys. He’s a bit of a loner, he’s doing his own thing. He loves the first stage of the invasion, where he actually gets to sit down alone and plan the mission that he gets. He’s a perfectionist when it comes to that, and he really believes in the cause. He believes that they’re out there to help people, to liberate people, but throughout the series things will change. It’s hard for him to do his job, because he needs to be there and motivate the guys, and make sure they’re sharp and aggressive, because otherwise they’re more likely to get killed. But at the same time, he’s beginning to think “What the hell are we doing out here?'"
- [was it a conscious decision not to meet the real Colbert before they started filming] "No. If I’d had a chance to meet him before we started filming, and hang out with him for a month or two, then great. But he was in the UK, embedded with the special forces."
- [UK, that's a tough posting] "Yeah. That’s the real deal! So he was in the UK, and I couldn’t get hold of him. I was able to get his email address, but at that point we were already two weeks into shooting it, and I’d already created my version of Brad Colbert after talking to the guys who knew him, and also talking to Evan Wright, who spent five weeks in a Humvee with him. So I’d already created my Brad Colbert, and at that point I decided not to get in touch with him, because I’d made my choices and found my path, and had to continue down that road with conviction. But I did get a chance to see him as soon as I got back to the States. Evan Wright was kind enough to throw a barbecue at his place, and he invited me and Brad, because he wanted us to meet somewhere other than the red carpet before the Premiere, and get a chance to sit down and talk. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life to finally meet him."
- [it must be strange meeting someone whose character you've spent so long immersing yourself in] "Yeah. I was with that character for a year. It’s his life. All the quotes and things I say on the show are his life. When I talk about my ex-girlfriend, and hookers in Australia, these are things that he actually said. And he never asked for this to become a huge HBO series, so I didn’t know how he would react when I met him. But I have a tremendous amount of respect and love for the man, so it was very important for me that he would be proud of what we did and how I portrayed him. And he didn’t kill me, so I guess I did okay."
- [did his experience in the Swedish Marines help in filming Generation Kill] "Absolutely, it was very useful, just to help understand how you deal with your officers and peers, understand the group dynamic between the guys, and also how you handle your weapons systems and all that kind of stuff. It was very helpful to have gone through that"
- [was he a good soldier, and was it something he enjoyed] "Not really. It’s mandatory to do it in Sweden. I wanted to join the Marines, that’s not mandatory, but you have to do some sort of service to the state, doing something else. But I wanted to do this because I grew up in downtown Stockholm, and I wanted to challenge myself. I figured if I was going to do this, I wanted to do it for real and full-on, and actually physically and mentally challenge myself. At least then it might be interesting, and something I can use later on, instead of spending ten months in a booth stamping passports. But most of the guys I was with in my platoon were kind of like Rambos, you know? I wasn’t like that at all. I knew this definitely wasn’t a profession for me. I did this solely for my own reasons, to experience these things and challenge myself. It was kind of weird, and at times I hated it, but I’m glad I finished it"
- [did the depiction of the troops in Generation Kill upset people] "No, I think the Marine community really embraced the show, because it felt legit and it felt real and it made the audience realise that it’s more complicated than they might have thought. It made the audience realise that these are all individuals, and they’re very young, and they’re all there for different reasons. Some really believe in it, some are there because they’re bored, some are there because they’re trying to avoid jail. So it was definitely embraced by the Marine community, and by the army and the air force and the navy as well. I know that some of the officers weren’t happy about it, because they wanted it to be a pro-Marine Corps series where everything is amazing and they’re all patriots and all fighting for the right cause, so some of them weren’t happy with either Evan Wright’s book, or with the series either. But we can live with that."
- [was Generation Kill an exclusively male environment] "Yeah. It was funny talking to the real Marines who were out there with us. They said it was very similar to being in the Marines - not, obviously, what you do for your work, but with the group, and how bonds are formed and how tight you get when you spend that long all together. And on a set it’s 80 per cent wait and 20 per cent action, and I think it’s pretty much the same thing in the Marine Corps. You do something, then you sit around and bullshit for hours and hours, and wait for the next order. So that definitely created a similarity, and I think it was great that we did this 3,000 miles away from our families and our homes, because all we had was each other, and I think that was good for the show."
- [does he like having variety in the roles he chooses] "Yeah, because it keeps me on my toes and it keeps me motivated and creative. If I do something for seven months, and then I jump into a character that’s very similar to that, I think I’m going to get bored, and I’m not going to do a good job. I need to be challenged, I need to feel almost nervous about a new project and a new character. That gets me excited, and it definitely helps me in my creative process"
Aftonbladet, Sweden, 1998
- "I’m without my own place but it doesn’t feel like I moved back home. I just have my back pack and my stuff there. The plan is that me and my brother Gustaf will buy an apartment together. If we can find one. For the moment I have all my belongings stored in boxes in the attic. It’s pretty hard."
- "We’re a very big family. My cousins live upstairs from us and my Grandmother lives around the block. There’s always lots of people coming and going and big dinner parties, often family gatherings of 50 people. Dad’s best friends are his siblings and my Mom spends a lot of time with her family."
- "It’s great to have this many siblings. The youngest one is 4, so I don’t think I will rush into getting my own kids anytime soon. I mean, I could be his Dad."
- [isn't it hard to have a good relationship with them with that big an age gap] "I don’t sit and talk work or chicks with my youngest brother who is 4, but they all mean a lot to me anyway."
- "It was my pre-school teacher that made me start acting. She took the whole class to ”Our Theatre” when we were 4 yrs old."
- "I’ve never worked with Dad, but the attitude towards the job is something I’m almost been brain-washed with. He’s got a huge distance to what he does, but is incredibly focused and engaged and ambitious about work. He’s got a great attitude and that is what he taught me."
- "I was playing a part in the TV-show ”the smiling dog”. After that came out I just felt that everyone everywhere was staring at me. It was obnoxious and very uncomfortable. As soon as I was out and heard someone laugh, I thought it was at me. I didn’t feel good at all. I was thirteen years old, and that is a very sensitive age."
- "I started to think that I might be able to handle the commotion in a better way since I was older and wiser. So I decided to give the whole acting thing a second try and applied to an acting school in New York, and was accepted. I went there for half a year in 1997. And then I was lucky enough to get a job."
- [about his parents] "They’ve always supported me. When I was younger it was all just a game to me. And they kept it like that. This time Dad is paying for the education in New York, so he has helped me a lot both financially and mentally."
- "I will continue doing this for as long as it’s fun and as long as I keep getting offers. But if either of that changes I will quit."
- [did the commotion surrounding his father ever make him think twice about acting] "No, it was probably mostly the commotion surrounding myself that made me quit. Of course I could relate to Dad. I saw that compared to my Dad, the commotion surrounding me was nothing, but it made me realize what things would be like if you were to become a celebrity."
- "Sometimes people come up to me and say something. I like it much better if they say “I saw you on TV” rather than just standing and pointing at me or giggling behind my back. And I get a lot of fan mail. I’ve gotten letters from guys, young kids, old ladies, if you are allowed to say that. They, the old ladies I mean, write to tell me what they want to do to me beneath exotic waterfalls. It’s a bit absurb."
- [did he watch himself when he was on TV] "Sometimes I’ll watch ”White lies”. At the beginning it was good to do that, because it helps you spot things you are doing wrong. But it’s also fun to re-live the actual shooting. Kind of like watching your own home-movie. And since the episodes shown now was shot before Christmas, it wakes old memories."
- [does he ever feel like he gets parts because he has his father's last name] "I can’t think like that. If I did I wouldn’t function as an actor. My self-confidence would disappear completely. I have to believe in myself and feel secure knowing that I can do this. If I start to think that I got the part just because of who is my Dad, despite thinking I suck, then all of it would fall apart. It’s really very important to not have that attitude. I often get that exact question from journalists, but when I work I don’t feel my name got me the part. Of course people will ask me about Dad, a lot of them have worked with him, but it’s just cool to work with people who remember when I was younger. They never ask me to get a reaction out of me."
- "Yes, even if you don’t want them to be, looks are important. But there are also disadvantages sometimes. Sometimes they are looking for someone with strong features rather than a pretty face. If you have that you often get to do stronger characters, but if you’re a pretty face you just get to do mainstream characters. You get to play the nice guy or girl that everyone feels sorry for."
- [is he the pretty face] "Well, not really. But a little. It’s just so fucking boring to be type-casted because of the way you look. So far I’ve just played harmless, feel-sorry-for guys. You have to always strive against that and remember to not choose parts like that. And if I do accept to play such a part I’ll have to make the most out of it and try to get the character into a different direction as much as possible."
- [does he think he's good looking] "I don’t feel sexy. But that varies. Sometimes you feel like you’re a hunk. If you’ve got a tan, just got out of the shower and put your best clothes on, you feel pretty content with your looks. But if you wake up on a Sunday morning with a hang-over, it’s not quite the same feeling."
- "I had a huge hang-up on being so skinny. I’ve always been skinny and thought it sucked when I was younger. But I’ve learned to live with it. It fades away as you grow older."
- "I do care what I’m wearing, but it’s more that I’m interested in clothes rather than it being a hobby. I don’t think twice about going to the grocery store with a hangover, without combing my hair or taking a shower. I don’t go to the gym because I’m vain. When I’m not working and when in Stockholm, I will work out five times a week. Maybe it all begun because I didn’t like being so skinny, but now it’s definitely because it makes me feel good. It’s kind of like therapy. When you run you get away from the city, it’s just you and the nature and you get a lot of time to think."
- "I am not in love. But I’ve never had any good relationships. Only once in my whole life did I have a relationship that lasted more than a few of weeks. And it was bad from the start. I just haven’t met anyone where I felt “this is the one."
- [is he easy to live with] "I suppose not. But yeah, I want to believe I am. I’ve just not met anyone I fell head over heels in love with. Sure, I’ve fallen in love, but there’s always been huge obstacles involved everytime. Like they were living far away so we haven’t been able to see each other or stuff like that. Of course there are times when you might miss it, but it’s pretty ok anyway. When I was in school it was more important to go out partying and meet with friends. It’s just recently that I actually started to miss it."
- "But it really is great with smart, funny girls that you can bring along to do stuff with. It’s probably exciting to be with a gorgeous girl who just sits there and smiles. For about 15 minutes or so."
- "Of course you want kids. I know I do. But I haven’t started looking for a place to settle down yet. And I won’t be buying a family car anytime soon. My parent’s Volvo is all I need right now, and I can use it anytime I want."
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