Movie/TV title:
Army of Darkness
Character name:
Ash
Quote(s):
Ash: Alright. Who wants some?
Ash: Say hello to the twenty-first century!
Ash: That's it, go ahead and run. Run home and cry to mama!
Ash: Keep your damn filthy bones outta my mouth.
Ash: What? Were you raised in a barn? Shut the door! Probably was raised in a barn, along with the other primitives.
Ash: Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
Sheila: You found me beautiful once.
Ash: Honey, you got reeeal ugly!
Ash: Sure, I could have stayed in the past. I could have even been king. But in my own way, I am king.
Ash: Hail to the king, baby.
Ash: [to the Witch] Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!
Sheila: But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?
Ash: Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby, that's all.
[Sheila wants to apologize to Ash]
Ash: First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.
Duke Henry: You Sir, are not one of my vassals... who are you?
Ash: Who wants to know?
Duke Henry: I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples.
Ash: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now, Jack and shit and Jack left town.
Ash: Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?
Ash: So what's the deal? Can you send me back or not?
Wiseman: Only the Necronomicon has the power. An unholy book which we also require. Within its pages are passages that can send you back to your time. Only you the promised one can quest for it.
Ash: I don't want your book, I don't want your bullshit. Just send me back to my own time, pronto, today. Chop chop!
|  Movie/TV title:
Bubba Ho-tep
Character name:
Elvis
Quote(s):
Elvis: Your soul suckin' days are over, amigo!
Elvis: Damn straight, he comes in here tonight, I don't want him slapping his lips on my asshole.
Elvis: Man, you are one big, bitch cockroach.
Elvis: Is there finally and really anything to life other than food, shit and sex?
Elvis: Look, man, do I look like an ichthyologist to you? Big damn bugs, all right? The size of my fist. The size of a peanut butter and banana sandwich. What do I know? I got a growth on my pecker!
Elvis: The revealing of her panties wasn't intentional or unintentional. She just didn't give a damn. She saw me as so physically and sexually non-threatening, she didn't mind if I get a bird's eye view of her love nest. It was same to her as a house cat sneaking a peek.
Elvis: Shit, Bubba Ho-tep comes out of that creek bed, he's going to come out hungry and pissed. When I try to stop him he's going to shove this paint can up my ass and he's going to shove me and that wheelchair up Jack's ass.
Elvis: What do I really have left in life but this place? It ain't much of a home, but it's all I got. Well, goddamnit. I'll be damned if I let some foreign, graffiti writin', soul suckin', son of a bitch in an oversized cowboy hat and boots take my friend's souls and shit 'em down the visitors toilet!
Elvis: In the movies, I always played the heroic types. But when the stage lights went out, it was time for drugs, and stupidity, and the coveting of women. Now it's time. Time to be a little of what I had always fantasized of bein', a hero.
Elvis: Kemosabe was dead of a ruptured heart before he hit the floor. Gone down and out with both guns blazing. Soul intact.
Elvis: Jack wait. Marilyn.
Elvis: Come on, Marilyn Monroe? How was she in the sack?
JFK: That is classified information! Top Secret! But between you and me. Wow!
Elvis: Even a big bitch cockroach like you should know never, but never, f*ck with the King.
Elvis: You fuck off ya patronizin bitch! I'm sick'a yer shit! I'll lube my own crankshaft from now on. You treat me like a baby again I'll wrap this goddamn walker right around yer head!
| Movie/TV title:
Evil Dead
Character name:
ASH
Quote(s):
Linda: [singing] We're going to get you. We're going to get you. Not another peep. Time to go to sleep.
Ash: You bastards, why are you torturing me like this? Why?
Voice: Join us...
Voice: I know now that my wife has become host to a Candarian demon. I fear that the only way to stop those possessed by the spirits of the book is through the act of... bodily dismemberment.
Cheryl: [possessed] Soon all of you will be like me... And then who will lock you up in a cellar?
[cackles]
Shelly: [Shelly's face is smoking and scarred] I don't know what I would have done if I had remained on those hot coals, burning my pretty flesh.
Cheryl: Kill her if you can, loverboy.
Linda: Hey, Ash! I guessed the card right!
Ash: Yeah... truly amazing.
[first lines]
Scotty: Hey, Ash, where are we?
Ash: Well we just crossed the Tennessee border...
[last lines]
[an unseen force rips through the cabin and comes up behind the unsuspecting Ash]
Ash: Aaaaaah!
Ash: Now the sun will be up in an hour or so, and we can all get out of here together. You, me, Linda, Shelly. Hmm... Well... not Shelly, she? We'll all be going home together. Wouldn't you like to be going home? I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you? Scott?
Ash: Shut up, Linda!
Scotty: I'm gonna break your face!
Cheryl: [Cheryl's possessed body's attacking Ash] I'm all right now, Ashley! Come unlock this chain and let me out! I'm all right now! It's your sister Cheryl!
Scotty: [all of the charactors are looking into the cellar after it flys open] An animal? An Animal? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. |  Movie/TV title:
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