- You know you're drunk when you think that the cab fare is the time.
You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He`ll come to a lot of my shows. It`s not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.
Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
It`s not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.
If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.
I`ve lived in LA for so long, I don`t even know what is real and what isn`t any more.
I`m shooting a pilot based on my show. It`s a one-camera show. I play myself.
I`m quitting the business today. I`m going to open up an appliance store, I`ve always really been into toasters. I`m giving it all up.
I`m always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
I`m a late-night guy.
like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh.
I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it`s so different from standup.
I get so into the moment.
I don`t write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.
I don`t laugh out loud at comics a lot.
I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don`t think I`m funny.
I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
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