[on why he chose not to attend actor/friend Chris Farley`s funeral] I just couldn`t have gone into a room where Chris was in a box.
I`ve been with a beautiful girl from time to time.
Success? You can`t get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, `That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He`s horrible.`
You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that`s depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.
When I started I`d fly across the country to do a gig for a hundred bucks.
To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
To be famous and broke is hard.
There are too many fawning entertainment shows out there and not one of them is making fun of it all.
My career is just kind of crazy.
It`s so crazy in Hollywood.
It`s just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out. I`m sure I will, but I`m just trying to postpone it.
In grade school I was smart, but I didn`t have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
I`m like a Dilbert cartoon.
I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.
I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
I have no detectable hair style. |
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