Movie/TV title:The Simpsons
Character name:Moe,Chief Wiggum,Professor Fink
Quote(s):
Moe: Moe's tavern.
Burns: I'm looking for a Mr. Smithers, first name Waylon.
Moe: Oh... So you're looking for a Mr. Smithers, eh?... First name Waylon, is it?! Listen to me, you! When I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes, and shove 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!
Moe: Plastic surgery, huh? Eh, maybe they could dynamite Mount Crapmore here and carve me a new kisser.
Carl: Oh, I don't know. Plastic surgery might make you look good on the outside, but you still might feel bad in the inside.
Moe: But I'd look good on the outside, right?
Carl: Yeah, but you'd feel bad inside.
Moe: Plastic surgery it is!
Montgomery Burns: So, you want some of my electricity, do you? Well, for once, the rich, white man is in control. I have two buttons behind my desk. One will provide your town with electricity, the other releases the hounds. Reach me. Make me your brother.
Dr. Hibbert: The generator on the hospital is about to give out. Lives will be lost.
Montgomery Burns: [writing down] Lives... lost. Go on.
Chief Wiggum: We have a convict we're gonna fry tomorrow, but now we can't.
Montgomery Burns: Tempting, tempting...
Apu: Look, all of our reasons mean nothing. Just look inside your heart and you will find the answer.
[Smithers waves frantically and shakes his head no; cut to outside of mansion as screaming and barking is heard inside]
Apu: Aaah!
Montgomery Burns: First door on the right.
Apu: Thank you.
Chief Wiggum, Apu, Dr. Hibbert: [as they run out chased by dogs] Aaah!
Professor Frink: People, I have a solution! I have invented an acid-firing drill that can cut through anything. It's right there, out... side the dome.
watching a green Homer being taken down by the cops]
Stan Lee: He can't be the Hulk... I'M the Hulk!
[rips his shirt open, growls, and tries to change into the Hulk]
Comic Book Guy: Oh, please. You couldn't even change into Bill Bixby.
Stan Lee: Come on, dammit, change!
[continues to growl and signs]
Stan Lee: Ah, forget it.
[goes back to growling]
Stan Lee: I really did it once.
Comic Book Guy: Yes, yes. I just wish you had the power to leave my store.
[they go back inside and Stan Lee starts growling again]
Comic Book Guy: Almost had it there.
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Movie/TV title:Godzilla
Character name:Victor 'animal' Palotti
Quote(s):Lucy: Audrey's gonna stay with us tonight
Animal: Cool, threesome.
[Animal is about to sneak out his apartment window to find Nik and help him]
Audrey Timmonds: Hey where you going?
Animal: Can't let Lucy know I'm going; she'll hurt me
Animal: Oh! Oh you gotta be kidding me man, we're in his mouth! We're IN HIS MOUTH! |
Movie/TV title:The Birdcage
Character name:Agador
Quote(s):Agador: When you gonna let me audition for you again?
Armand: When you have talent.
Armand: What are you giving him drugs for? What the hell are Pirin tablets?
Agador: It's aspirin with the "A" and the "S" scraped off.
Armand: My God, what a brilliant idea!
Agador: I know.
Agador: Armand, why don't you let me be in the show? Are you afraid of my Guatemalan-ness?
Armand: Your what?
Agador: My Guatemalan-ness, my natural heat. You're afraid I'm too primitive to be on the stage with your little estrogen rockettes, right?
Armand: You're right. I'm afraid of your heat. |
Movie/TV title:Dodgeball
Character name:Young Patches O'Houlihan
Quote(s):Remember, dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion and degradation. So, when you're picking players in gym class, remember to pick the bigger, stronger kids for your team. That way you can gang up on the weaker ones, like Winston here.
Take care of your balls, and they'll take care of you.
Just remember the five D's of dodgeball: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and... Dodge.
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Movie/TV title:Along Came Polly
Character name:Claude
Quote(s):Claude: Luban! Look me in my eyeball. I treat her like my own flesh and blood.
Reuben Feffer: What did you do to her? Did you mess around with her oxygen tanks or something?
Claude: I did nothing, Luban.
Reuben Feffer: My name is not Luban! It is Reuben!
Claude: Look, look we had a scuba, we drink some white wine, we talk about life and we cannot help it. It is like love at first sight. She make like the fire in my trouser.
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Movie/TV title:Run Fatboy Run
Character name:Whit
Quote(s):during the race]
Dennis: Isn't it enough?
Whit: What?
Dennis: You got the girl, all right? Isn't it enough?
Whit: I just think it's high time you realized that it's over, sir! Otherwise, it's gonna be very tough for you when we move to Chicago!
Dennis: What?
Whit: [off their pace, trying to discourage Dennis] You'd better slow down there, chief! You've got a long way to go!
Dennis: Yeah, well - so have you!
[Dennis accelerates past Whit]
Whit: Oh, yeah! Yes, I like it! Run, fatboy, run!
[Whit takes his lead back, but as Dennis passes him one more time... ]
Dennis: I can lose weight... but you'll always be an *********
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Movie/TV title:Mystery Men
Character name:The Blue Raja
Quote(s):
- Allow me to introduce myself: the Blue Raja, Master of Silverware. Forks a speciality."
- "He is rather ripping, isn't he? With the spinning and the hurting and the kicking..."
- "Well, well, well — if it isn't our old friends the Red-Eyes. Good evening, gentlemen. We weren't expecting to see you again so...spoon!"
- "There aren't any evil trios, are there? No — they all have to travel in gangs like little babies."
- "The point is, your boy's a Limey fork-flinger, mother. Hard cheese to swallow, I know, but there it is."
- "I knew I should have brought my large pie-server."
- "But, seeing as it is your first night I shall FORKgive you if you FORKget
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Movie/TV title:The Simpsons Movie
Character name: various
Quote(s):Chief Wiggum: [after the Simpsons' house collapses into the sink hole] They're China's problem now
WIGGUM
Alright men, open fire! The officers shoot at the side of the dome but the bullets rebound and hit them. WIGGUM
Who's hurt? Raise your hands. (they all groan) Without the attitude. PROFESSOR FRINK
People, people! I have an important announcement. I have just perfected an acid-firing super-drill which can cut throough anything. (the crowd mutter excitedly) It's right there, just... outside of the dome...
MARGE
Eepa? What could that be? COMIC BOOK GUY
I believe it's the sound the green lantern made when Sinestro threw him into a vat of acid. Eeepaa!
Carl: If someone distracts Cargill, the rest of us can climb up that thing.
Lenny: But who would be dumb enough to stay here while we escape with our lives?
Cletus: Ahem... My time to shine!
Lisa Simpson: This town is just one piece of trash away from a toxic nightmare! But I knew you wouldn't listen. So I took the liberty of pouring water from the lake in all your drinking glasses!
[everyone spits out their water in disgust]
Moe: See, this is why we should hate kids!
Mayor Quimby: To make sure this wall is completely idiot-proof... Cletus!
Cletus: Yes'um?
Mayor Quimby: Try to dump something in the lake.
Cletus: Okay.
[tries to go to the lake to dump a possum but keeps hitting the wall]
Cletus: I can't. I - I simply can't.
Dr. Nick: Bye, everybody!
Chief Wiggum: [shouting at a naked Bart] Stop, in the name of American squeamishness!
Robot: Red wire, blue wire, black is usually the ground...
[begins shaking]
Robot: ... ahhh, so much pressure... PRESSURE!
[grabs Chief Wiggum's gun and shoots itself in the head]
Chief Wiggum: He was talking about it, but I never took him seriously.
[Moe sports a bathrobe and a traffic cone on his head]
Marge Simpson: Why are you dressed like that?
Moe: Well, I don't like to brag, but I am now the Emperor of Springfield.
Barney Gumble: No, you're not!
[throws fire bomb at Moe]
Moe: Yes, I am!
[throws bomb back and it explodes]
Barney Gumble: Okay. Hail Emperor.
Marge Simpson: Thanks for coming over.
Comic Book Guy: [happily] Thanks for giving me your pregnancy pants; I've never known comfort like this.
Chief Wiggum: [sees Fat Tony and his mobsters dragging a body wrapped in a sheet to the lake] Uh sorry, sorry, no dumping in the lake!
Fat Tony: Fine, I will put my *yard trimmings* in a car compactor.
[he and the mobsters walk off with the body]
Lou: Uh, Chief, I think there was a dead body in there.
Chief Wiggum: I thought that too, until he said yard trimmings. You gotta learn to listen, Lou.
Comic Book Guy: I've spent my entire life doing nothing but collecting comic books... and now there's only time to say... LIFE WELL SPENT!
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Movie/TV title:Huff (tv 2004-2006)
Character name:Dr. Craig "Huff" Huffstodt
Quote(s):
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Movie/TV title:Night At The Museum 2
Character name:Kah Mun Rah,The Thinker, Abraham Lincoln statue
Quote(s)Kah Mun Rah: You don't seem to be evil, you seem to be more of a grouch
Kah Mun Rah: [to Jedediah in the hourglass] Why he's no bigger than a tiny grain of cus-cus.
Kah Mun Rah: Who ever you are Archie Bunker, you have a very comfortable throne.
Kah Mun Rah: [From trailer]
[Confronting Vader]
Kah Mun Rah: Is that you breathing? Because I can't hear myself think! There's too much going on here; you're asthmatic, you're a robot. And why the cape? Are we going to the opera? I don't think so.
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Movie/TV title:Friends (1994-2003-5 episodes)
Character name:David
Quote(s):
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Movie/TV title:Year One
Character name:Abraham
Quote(s
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