 Movie/TV title: The Lord of the ring
Character name: bilbo baggins
Quote(s):
Fellowship of the Ring 2001
Bilbo Baggins: I'm Mr. Bilbo Baggins, I've lost my dwarves, my wizard and my way.
Bilbo Baggins: A box without hinges, key, or a lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid.
Gollum: Eggs! Eggs is the answer.
Bilbo Baggins: Surely you realize that your success has made you some bitter enemies?
Smaug: [laughs] Revenge? You? I am SMAUG! I kill when I wish! I am strong, strong, STRONG! My armor is like tenfold shields! My teeth like swords! My claws, spears! The shock of my tail, a thunderbolt! My wings, a hurricane! And my breath, death!
Gandalf the Grey: [Bilbo and Gandalf enter Thorin's tent. Thorin lies dying] I have brought him.
Thorin: Farewell. good thief. I wish to part in friendship, and would take back my words at the gate.
Bilbo Baggins: There were many words I would take back, also.
Thorin: And does it take this to make us to see each other?
Bilbo Baggins: Thorin...
Thorin: Hush. You are no coward, my friend. I am sorry I so named you.
Bilbo Baggins: This is not important...
Thorin: I was wrong. You did understand war. It was I who did not... until now.
Bilbo Baggins: Farewell, King Under the Mountain.
Thorin: Child of the kindly West, I have come to know, if more of us valued your ways - food and cheer above hoarded gold - it would be a merrier world. But sad or merry, I must leave it now. Farewell.
Bilbo Baggins: [crying] Farewell, Thorin.
Bilbo Baggins: No hat, no stick, no pipe, not even a pocket handkerchief. How can one survive?
Bilbo Baggins: We hobbits are plain, quiet creatures. Adventures make one late for dinner.
[as the Battle of Three - ultimately Five - Armies opens, the Men and Elves and Dwarves charge each other... all from different angles]
Men: Scurvy dwarves! Thieving dwarves! Kill them!
Elves: Kill the dwarves! Chop them up! Take their heads!
Dwarves: Kill the men! Kill the elves! Save the gold for ourselves!
Bilbo Baggins: [bringing up the dwarves' rear] Personally, I'd rather be back in Hobbitton.
[as Bilbo and the dwarves are getting ready for the Battle of Three - ultimately Five - Armies, "Mister Baggins" complains about his ill-fitting war-gear]
Bilbo Baggins: This is deucedly uncomfortable. I'm certain to get a rash!
Thorin: That armor was forged in the foundaries of my grandfather. Wear it proudly, and it will carry you to victory!
Bilbo Baggins: BOTHER victory! I hope only to be taken prisoner as quickly as possible!
Thorin: Those are the words of a COWARD!
Bilbo Baggins: The coward who flushed out Smaug? The coward who saved you time and time again? The coward who always went forward while you cringed behind?
Thorin: You don't see us cringing NOW, do you?
Bilbo Baggins: This is MADNESS! Fourteen against ten thousand, and yet you march off to certain destruction as merrily as if you were on your way to another tea party!
Thorin: Your kind will never understand war, hobbit. This is WAR!
[Bilbo has entered the Lonely Mountain, which once housed a kingdom of dwarves, but which is now Smaug's lair - Smaug is sleeping on a hill of gems and other riches, but wakes up when Bilbo reaches the heart of the mountain]
Smaug: Well, thief? I smell you, I feel your air - and I hear your breath. Come along! Help yourself; there's plenty, AND to spare.
Bilbo Baggins: [who is invisible] Oh... thank you, Smaug the Magnificent! I did not come for wealth. I wish only to have a look at you, and see if you are truly as great as tales say; I did not believe them!
Smaug: [flattered] ... Do you now?
Bilbo Baggins: They fall utterly short of reality, King SMAUG Under the Mountain!
Smaug: Hmmm... You have nice manners for a thief - and a LIAR.
Gandalf the Grey: This is a map of Lonely Mountain, given to be by your grandfather.
Thorin: What? Why wasn't it given to me, the rightful heir?
Gandalf the Grey: I have chosen my time to give it to you.
Bilbo Baggins: Oh, I do love maps! I have quite a collection of them.
Thorin: Bah! I remember the mountain well enough without this.
Gandalf the Grey: Indeed. And how do you intend to enter Smaug's chambers? Through the front gate? As a houseguest? You would be ashes before you took your seventh step.
Bilbo Baggins: The Eagles! The Eagles are coming!
[Thorin has just finished explaining the story of Smaug and Lonely Mountain]
Bilbo Baggins: So this is why you're here? To help you reclaim the gold?
Gandalf the Grey: None other.
[Bilbo squeals and faints]
Bilbo Baggins: Bother burglary and everything to do with it!
Gandalf the Grey: Surely you don't disbelieve the prophecies because you helped bring them about? You don't really suppose, do you, that all your adventures and escapes were managed by mere luck, just for your sole benefit? You're a very fine person, Mr. Baggins, and I'm very fond of you, but you're only quite a little fellow in a wide world, after all.
Bilbo Baggins: Thank goodness!
Bilbo Baggins: Perhaps you know the way out?
Gollum: Yes, gollum. But perhaps we sits here and chats with it a bitsy, my precious. It likes riddles?
Two Towers 2002
Bilbo: My dear Bagginses and Boffins, Tooks and Brandybucks, Grubbs, Chubbs, Hornblowers, Bolgers, Bracegirdles and Proudfoots!
Everard Proudfoot: Proudfeet!
Bilbo: I'm old, Gandalf. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel... thin. Sort of stretched, like... butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday. A very long holiday. And I don't expect I shall return. In fact I mean not to.
Bilbo: I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
Gandalf: I think you should leave the ring behind, Bilbo. Is that so hard?
Bilbo: Well, no.
[frowning]
Bilbo: ...and yes. Now it comes to it, I don't feel like parting with it. It's mine, I found it. It came to me!
Gandalf: There's no need to get angry.
Bilbo: Well, if I'm angry, it's your fault.
[to himself]
Bilbo: ...it's mine... my own... my precious...
Gandalf: Precious? It's been called that before, but not by you.
Bilbo: Oh, what business is it of yours what I do with my own things?
Gandalf: I think you've had that ring quite long enough.
Bilbo: You want it for yourself!
Gandalf: BILBO BAGGINS! Do not take me for some conjuror of cheap tricks! I am not trying to rob you. I'm trying to help you.
Bilbo: Are all these children yours? Gracious, you have been productive.
Bilbo: I've thought of an ending for my book - "And he lived happily ever after... to the end of his days."
Bilbo: [voice] It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you might be swept off to.
Bilbo: No, thank you. We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations.
Bilbo: You will keep an eye on Frodo, won't you?
Gandalf: Two eyes, as often as I can spare them.
[holding up a mail shirt]
Bilbo: Here's a pretty thing: Mithril. As light as a feather, and as hard as dragon-scales.
Bilbo: I am sorry I brought this upon you, my boy. I'm sorry that... you must carry this burden. I'm sorry for everything.
Gandalf: Frodo suspects something.
Bilbo: Of course he does, he's a Baggins, not some blockheaded Bracegirdle from Hardbottle.
[before his 111th birthday party]
Bilbo: Gandalf, my old friend, this will be a night to remember.
Bilbo: [enigmatically] You're a good lad, Frodo. I'm very selfish, you know. Yes, I am. Very selfish. I don't know why I took you in after your mother and father died but it wasn't out of charity. I think it was because... of all my numerous relations, you were the one Baggins that showed real spirit.
Frodo: Bilbo, have you been at the Gaffer's home brew?
Bilbo: No.
[pause]
Bilbo: Well, yes, but that's not the point...
Return of the ring 2003
Galadriel: The power of the Three Rings is ended. The time has come... for the dominion of Men.
Elrond: [in Elvish] The Sea calls us home.
Bilbo: [smiling] I think I'm... quite ready for another adventure!
[Bilbo climbs on board with Elrond. Galadriel follows with Celeborn]
Gandalf: Farewell, my brave Hobbits. My work is now finished. Here at last, on the shores of the sea... comes the end of our Fellowship. I will not say do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.
[Heads to the ship, then turns around, waiting]
Gandalf: It is time, Frodo.
Sam: What does he mean?
Frodo: We set out to save the Shire, Sam. And it has been saved... But not for me.
Sam: [weeping] You don't mean that. You can't leave.
Frodo: [hands Sam the Red Book] The last pages are for you, Sam.
Galadriel: The power of the Three Rings is ended. The time has come... for the dominion of Men.
Elrond: I Aear c?n ven na mar.
[Elvish: The Sea calls us home]
Bilbo: I think I'm... quite ready for another adventure.
[Climbs on board with Elrond. Galadriel gets on boat with Celeborn]
Gandalf: Farewell... my brave Hobbits. My work is now finished. Here at last, on the shores of the sea... comes the end of our Fellowship. I will not say, Do not weep... not all tears are an evil.
[Heads to the ship, then turns around, waiting]
Gandalf: It is time, Frodo.
Sam: What does he mean?
Frodo: We set out to save the Shire, Sam. And it has been saved. But not for me.
Sam: You don't mean that. You can't leave.
Bilbo: Tell me again, lad... where are we going?
Frodo: To the harbor, Bilbo. The elves have accorded you a special honor; a place on the last ship to leave Middle Earth.
Bilbo: Frodo... Any chance of seeing that old ring again? Hmm? The one I gave you?
Frodo: I'm sorry, uncle... I'm afraid I lost it.
Bilbo: Oh... Pity. Should have liked to have held it one last time.
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