- accepting his award at the 2000 Golden Globes] In the spirit of Ving Rhames, I'm going to give this award to Jack Lemmon.
- If you think it's difficult to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
- The worst part about being me is when people want me to make them laugh.
- I won't quit until I get run over by a truck, a producer or a critic.
- It's hard enough to write a good drama, it's much harder to write a good comedy, and it's hardest of all to write a drama with comedy. Which is what life is.
- Nobody deserves this much money - certainly not an actor.
- [on Marilyn Monroe] Difficult? Yes. But she was a wonderful comedienne and she had a charisma like no one before or since.
- [on Judy Holliday] She was intelligent and not at all like the dumb blonds she so often depicted. She didn't give a damn where the camera was placed, how she was made to look, or about being a star. She just played the scene -- acted with, not at. She was also one of the nicest people I ever met.
- [on Billy Wilder] I've had directors who were marvelous at breaking scenes down and handling people. But when you would string all the pearls together, they wouldn't make a beautiful necklace. But Billy is the kind of picture-maker who can make a beautiful string of pearls. He makes the kind of movies that are classics and last forever.
- [on Walter Matthau] Walter is a helluva actor. The best I've ever worked with.
- [on Shirley MacLaine] She hated rehearsals and had a bad habit of ad-libbing, which didn't set well with Billy Wilder. But we got used to each other, because mainly she's a helluva girl.
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