Jensen has had Lasik eye surgery.
Jensen owns a Cockapoo called Icarus.
Jensen's favorite city is Austin, Texas.
Jensen's parents named him Jensen. They considered names like Justin but found they were too common. It took them three days to name him; Jensen was the last name listed in the hymnal at their church.
Jensen recently took up golfing. He says he isn't very good but claims he was hooked after going out to the golf course with Tom Welling.
Jensen wears contact lenses.
Jensen is a sports junkie. He loves football, lacrosse, baseball, and basketball. He played on the baseball and lacrosse teams in high school. When he started taking theater classes, he was the only "jock" in the theater department.
Even though Jensen's favorite basketball player is Steve Nash from the Phoenix Suns, his favorite team is Dallas Mavericks who traded Steve Nash to the Phoenix Suns team.
Jensen's father, Alan Ackles, is also an actor. He appeared on episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger and Dallas. Jensen worked with his father in the movie Devour.
Jensen's favorite charity is Young Life. It's a Christian organization for high school teens, a youth ministry. They offer outings and ski trips, and have a camp.
Jensen's favorite time of the year is Christmas because of the holidays, the cold, the lights, and the spirit.
Jensen's favorite songs include Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah performed by Jeff Buckley and Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Jensen's favorite vacation spot is Bora Bora, Napa Valley.
Jensen planned to study sports medicine at Texas Tech University and become a physical therapist, before he decided to give acting a try.
Jensen was offered a role as Eliza Dushku's love interest on Tru Calling, but chose to take a role on Smallville instead. Eric Christian Olsen was eventually given the role and the character's name was changed to Jensen.
Jensen's most treasured possession is the necklace he had made in honor of his best friend, his friend was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver.
Jensen's first modeling gig was at the young age of 2 years old.
Jensen enjoys boogie-boarding, horseback riding, and photography.
Jensen moved to Los Angeles in 1996 after graduating from high school.
Jensen's brother, Josh, is three years older than him. His sister, Mackenzie, is seven years younger.
Jensen auditioned for the role of Clark Kent on Smallville, but he lost to Tom Welling. He ended up getting the role as Jason because of the chemistry he had with Kristin Kruek during the audition.
Jensen and his Supernatural co-star Jared Padalecki were voted People Magazine's "Sexiest Ghostbusters" in 2005.
In 1998, Jensen won a Soap Opera Digest Award for an "Outstanding Male Newcomer" for Days of our Lives.
Jensen's favorite season is fall.
Jensen is 6'1" (1.85 metres) tall.
Jensen currently splits his time between Burbank, California and Vancouver, British Columbia.
Jensen likes country music. His favorite musician is Garth Brooks. He sings back-up vocals on good friend Steve Carlson's albums Spot in the Corner and Rollin' On.
In 2002, Jensen dated Lisa Rideg, a student at UCLA.
Some actors Jensen admires include Anthony Hopkins, Jim Caviezel, Ben Stiller, Brad Pitt, and Ewan McGregor.
Jensen modeled when he was four years old, and took a break until he was ten. His school friends teased him, but when he bought a car with his earnings at age 16, he got the last laugh!
Jensen graduated from Dartmouth Elementary School in 1987; he graduated Apollo Junior High School in Richardson, Texas in 1993; and he graduated from L. V. Berkner High School in 1996 in Richardson, Texas.
Jensen screen tested with Christie Clarke, who played his sister, for his role as Eric on Days of Our Lives. However, in the scene they acted out, Christie was not playing his sister and they had to kiss.
 Jensen Ackles Quotes |
Jensen Ackles
I get nervous around girls for the first time. Once I'm in, I can take the reins and go. It's just the initial approach I'm really bad at.
Jensen Ackles
I love the smell of shampoo on a girl's hair. You can walk past someone and be like, 'Wow, you took a shower this morning, didn't you? Because you smell lovely!'
Jensen Ackles
I used to be scared of uncertainty; now I get a high out of it.
Jensen Ackles
I was in preschool and a girl actually kissed me on the cheek. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what it meant, so I instantly grabbed her face and kissed her on the lips. And, then I got suspended.
Jensen Ackles
I'm from Texas, and I would love to do an old-fashioned gun-slinging Western.
Jensen Ackles
I'm into a casual-dressing girl: blue jeans and a tank top is super sexy. But the sexiest thing on a girl - when I see it I'm like, oh my God - is these little tight boxers. Don't get me wrong, g-strings are fine, but those cover a little, to where it's just enough.
Jensen Ackles
I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me.
Jensen Ackles
My father is an actor, so he brought me into his agency when I was young. It wasn't something I wanted to do until high school, when I started taking theater and really liked it. Then an agent found me and wanted me to come out to Los Angeles and give it a shot. I gave myself six months, but it only took me like a week to get a job.
Jensen Ackles
The worst gift that I ever gave a girl was a suitcase for Christmas. As in, 'I can't think of anything to give you, but here's a new suitcase.' Afterward, I was like, 'What were you thinking, idiot?'
Jensen Ackles
There are just certain things that turn my head. It may be a girl's sense of humor, it may be her wit, or her belief system; it could be a lot of different things.
Jensen Ackles
What I enjoy most is travelling to different places and meeting new people. For me, it's all about life experiences, and I'm very grateful that acting allows me so many interesting and fulfilling ones.
Jensen Ackles
When I was in middle school, some of my so-called friends found a catalogue ad I did for Superman pajamas. They made as many copies as they could and pasted them up all over school.
Jensen Ackles
When we started, we knew the show was going to be hit or miss, and we needed to find a core audience to really make us survive. And I think we've been able to do that.
Jensen Ackles
That`s a little Screen Gems horror flick that David Winkler, son of famous director Irwin Winkler, directed and basically rewrote while we were shooting it, which is always a tricky situation, I think that if I had known it was going to be a complete rewrite during shooting, it may have been something I would have thought about a little longer.
Jensen Ackles
I`m a mad Gummi fan. I always have Gummis in my trailer. But you can`t eat too many because then you get Gummi tummy, and that`s no good. I can`t believe I`m saying this.
Jensen Ackles
Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with.
Jensen Ackles
(On the glitz and glamor of Hollywood)
Yeah, I'm just not into all of that. I see all the red carpet paparazzi stuff and I'm like, "Really? Do I have to?!" I like to work and I know that's part of the job. But you kind of take it in stride.
Jensen Ackles
(On the fans of Supernatural)
They've all been very cool. Next week, I'm headed to London for the first-ever 'Supernatural' convention. So I'm anxiously awaiting that to see how we're received there. But the fans have been great. When we started, we knew the show was going to be hit or miss, and we needed to find a core audience to really make us survive. And I think we've been able to do that.
Jensen Ackles
(Any regrets about not going to college)
Right now, no, because I feel as though I got a very interesting "life college." I moved out to this huge city all by myself. I had to grow up quickly. I learned a lot of things about the real world that my friends are just learning. Also, I started reading the dictionary and books about college education, I was teaching myself what my friends were learning in class. And it worked out, I would come home and talk to them about stuff that they hadn't even learned yet.
Jensen Ackles
(Days of Our Lives)
It almost didn't happen, it was about three or four months after Mr. Rhodes was canceled. I was auditioning but not getting the jobs, and I was discouraged. Meanwhile I'm getting calls from all my friends who are in college having a blast. I went for the Day of Our Lives audition, and I was so frustrated that I thought, "If I don't get this one, I'm moving back home.
Jensen Ackles
(On being recognized in public)
It kind of catches me off guard when people come up to me... because when you're out shooting 15 hours a day for three to four months at a time, you don't see anybody from the outside world. You forget the stuff you're doing is actually being seen by millions of people.
Jensen Ackles
(On his most embarrassing moment)
I was about 13 at the time, doing a photo shoot for a catalogue on the Southern Methodist University campus. The jeans were about three sizes too small, so they cut out the back and opened the leg---it looked fine from the front but the back was missing. Suddenly, the period bell rang, and the students flooded out of every building as I stood there with my rear end hanging out. It was not a fun moment.
Jensen Ackles
(on fan encounters)
The fans are very cool. And they’re avid fans of the genre, so when they come up to us, it’s not necessarily about us personally - it’s about the work, which is very flattering.
Jensen Ackles
(on “Supernatural” co-star Jared Padalecki)
When Jared and I met, we kind of instantly became friends. He’s five years younger than me, so it was cool. I knew what it felt like to be an older brother and he knew what it felt like to be a younger brother - we just kind of fell into a nice rhythm.
Jensen Ackles
(on carousing With Jared Padalecki)
I do my best to corrupt the little guy, but sometimes I've got to respect his relationship (with actress Sandra McCoy).
Jensen Ackles
(on what he likes in a woman)
Me and my buddies say, 'Someone who gets it.' Gets sarcasm, gets high-brow humor. Ultimately, someone who you can pal around with and also be intimate with. Someone who can laugh at your jokes--it may sound cheesy, but someone who can be your best friend as well as your lover.
Jensen Ackles
When I was a sophomore, a friend asked me to go to a local acting seminar with him. Two guys were very interested in me and wanted me to come out to L.A. I wanted to finish high school before doing anything like that. I figured they'd just forget about me, but they kept after me for two years.
Jensen Ackles
(regarding Supernatural)
I think just working with the show... learning what all this stuff means... like cold spots or certain electromagnetic waves or the crackling noises, the dimming lights and stuff like that that we do on a daily basis. This is stuff that is researched by the writers so now, when you're in a hotel room and it gets really cold and the lights start flickering it's like, "Alrighty! Where's my salt gun when I need it?"
Jensen Ackles
 Jensen Ackles Interviews |
SUPERNATURAL HUNTERS’ ADDICT FORUM
Jen. Admin
March 3, 2009
Latest Jensen Ackles Interview & Info : Jared Padalecki’s No Longer Single
{Series Mag #56 – French Magazine}
At the end of the season 03, Dean is sent to Hell… How will the season 04 start ?!
Jensen : I thought we would see Dean in Hell, but Eric has chosen to start the season 04 when Dean fights his way outta of his own grave – litteraly – I think we don’t see what happened in Hell only because of the budget of the show that’ve been slashed down last season. (laugh)
And what happens to Dean this year ?!
Jensen : Well Eric announced us that the beginning of that fourth season would be just HUGE. And Jared & I, we both filmed a movie during the summer we were definitely tired. We were hoping not to be in every single scene in the first episodes of the season 04. Unfortunately, that’s not what happened, especially for me. Eric told me that Dean would be really important in the myth-arc of the show in this season, and before that, it was Sam that was directly concerned by the tricks of the YED and Dean was just trying to save his brother. But now Dean has been taken outta hell and he became the “Endgame” Of some forces that are completly unknown to him. So to summarize, it means that I have to shoot a lot more scenes ! While we were filming the season premiere, Jared had 4 days-off ! It’s more than I’ve ever had in ‘One’ Complete season.
How do you explain the fact that, this season is more focussed on your character than it ever been ?
Jensen : Eric told me that Dean became a character that’s no longer here only to save Sam from incredible situations, he’s got his own fights, and he’s trying to understand why he came back from the dead, and what’s his destiny…
Do you think that season will be last ? - Interview made before the announcement of the renewals from the CW -
Jensen : No, even if the renewal is not official yet, the audience’s really good ! In a year we won a million more of viewers. Eric thought that the season 04 would be the last one so he wrote it in that way, and now he’s pulling his hair off his head wondering about what he’s gonna write if there’s a season 05 ! (Laugh) Personnaly, I think that 05 years would be great for our show, I wouldn’t think the same thing if I was shooting on the “Lost” Set at Hawaii with 30 actors and 02 days a week of shooting ! (Laugh) But for Supernatural, in 05 years we would have locked the loop, and answered some questions that are torturing our fans since the very beginning of the show. I would hate it if the public would start to find the episodes boring so I really want the show to end up on a big success, meaning : In a year…
Do you write some scenarios of your own on the set of Supernatural ?
Jensen : Not really but the writers are doing a great job anyway. I know that they get their inspiration by watching Jared & I in the real life, to write their lines. And that’s great to be associated – in that way – to the creation processus of that show.
We saw you driving a mini motor bike on the set, is it a new gadget or something ?
Jensen : Yes, it’s because of our sound director, he uses it to go from a spot in the set to another place in the studio, he’s driving that thing between our trailers so Jared & I wanted to buy some too. That’s great, you put in on the sector during an hour and it works during 05 hours long, it can speed up to 12 miles/h ! We’re often making races with Jared but I win each time cause he’s too heavy to quickly roll on a mini motor bike ! (laugh)
Are you scared of something ?
Jensen : Yes, the spiders, but the ones who scare me the most are the ones that I can’t see. Last night I was in my bed and then I saw a spider coming out from under my cover and it started to walk on the pillow right next to me ! I catched it, threw it on the floor, and killed it ! I don’t like those, but when I see one and that I killed it at least I know where it is, instead of the ones that could still be hiding somewhere right next to me and that I can’t see ! (Laugh)________________________________________________________________ JENSEN ACKLES INTERVIEW
By Alla and Beth
From Official Jensen Ackles Newsletter, February 2002
Beth's Questions:
If you could go to dinner with anyone in the world, who would it be?
Jensen Ackles:
Too many to list
Beth:
What television shows did you watch when you were a kid?
Jensen Ackles:
Thundercats
Beth:
Who are some of your favorite actors and actresses that you look up to today?(besides your dad :)
Jensen Ackles:
Anthony Hopkins, Jim Caviezel, Ben Stiller, Brad Pitt, Ewan McGregor to list a few.
Beth:
If you were offered a role today to be the star in a hot new movie, and had the option of choosing your leading lady, who would you choose?
Jensen Ackles:
Jennifer Connelly
Beth:
What kind of role would you never consider to portray, no matter how much money was offered?
Jensen Ackles:
Really depends on the story
Beth:
How would you feel if you were offered a role to a sequel of one of your all-time fave movies? Would you take it, or just wait to get something completely new?
Jensen Ackles:
Thrilled. And depends on writer/director/script/studio.
Beth:
How do you feel about being on a talk show? Which would you like to appear on? (i.e. Rosie, Live..)
Jensen Ackles:
I like them…they're fun
Alla's Questions:
What is one of the simple pleasures of life that you truly enjoy?
Jensen Ackles:
Listening to my music while driving
Alla:
Do you have any hidden talents?
Jensen Ackles:
Play guitar
Alla:
How have you adjusted to Vancouver's climate?
Jensen Ackles:
Yes, it's really not all that bad.... in fact, I really like it. It can be a little rainy at times; but then again, I love Texas but can't stand the heat.
Alla:
What, besides the weather, is the biggest difference between living in Los Angeles, and living in Vancouver?
Jensen Ackles:
It really is a different country. Canadians are much more laid back and aren't so infatuated with success and materialistic things like Americans can be so guilty of.
Alla:
Do you have more time off now than when you were taping daily?
Jensen Ackles:
Actually I have less time due to the lengthy days and also because I'm a main character on a smaller cast.
Alla:
What do you do when you have time off?
Jensen Ackles:
Either go skiing with my Canadian buddies, or fly to L.A. to hangout or fly to Dallas.
Alla:
Where were you the morning of September 11th, and how did you first find out about what was going on?
Jensen Ackles:
In bed in Vancouver when I got a call from a friend in L.A. who told me to get up and turn on the TV. I didn't believe her at first but when she said we were under attack, I jumped and didn't leave the TV for hours.
__________________________________________________________________ lindzi.com
Your Connection to the Stars
Jensen Ackles
What are you afraid of?
Jensen Ackles: I’m not scared of anything. What are you talking about? No. I used to be scared of uncertainty and now I think I get a high out of it. I think what I’ve used in this show is that blind fear of not knowing what you’re dealing with, not knowing what’s around the corner, and not knowing the person you’re going to run into. I’ve used that old uncertainty or fear for what I play up in here.
Do you believe in the supernatural?
Jensen Ackles: I remember my mother telling me a bunch of stories when she was growing up in Michigan. They creeped me out, but I never experienced it myself. I’m on the fence about it. I’d like to think that there are paranormal and unexplainable circumstances in this world, but part of me thinks there’s a scientific explanation for everything. It depends on what side of the bed I wake up on in the morning.
What we expect of your character?
Jensen Ackles: I think you’ll see more of the side of Dean that he doesn’t like to let out of the bag as the series progresses. It’s a front. It’s a show he puts on to protect who he really is and to protect the things that haunt both of these characters. Putting that front on helps him with daily life and with daily interactions with people and to do what he was born and feels like he was destined to do.
You've been on a number of WB shows. Is it required you do reoccurring roles on The WB before moving on to your own series? (Kidding.)
Jensen Ackles: Yeah, it’s tenure. There’s a bit of a show ladder. It was a flattering act for me to continue to work for these guys. They first cast me in Dawson’s and, before that, there was lots of trying to get me into other shows. It first culminated with Dawson’s and then on to Smallville. When they plucked me and Jared from other shows, and here we are with this amazing thing, it was a super confidence builder. It’s nice to have people who believe in you and the work that you do.
Will you be returning to Smallville at all?
Jensen Ackles: Probably not because I’ll be working my tail off every day of the week. These two characters are totally different. Dean is night and day from Jason on Smallville. Dean loves his family very much. It’s the core and the tragedy of who he is. With Jason, it was a skeleton in the closet. I really like the complexity of it. With the Smallville character, [the family story] was just something that happened along the way. This is a distinct presence of where he’s coming from and who he is.
 Jensen Ackles Supernatural Quotes |
1.1 Pilot Quotes
Dean: Whoa, easy, tiger.
Sam: Dean? (Dean laughs)
Sam: (breathing heavily) You scared the crap out of me.
Dean: That's because you're out of practice. (Sam retaliates, pinning Dean down)
Dean: (laughs) Or not. Get off me.
Sam: What the hell are you doing here?
Dean: I was looking for a beer.
Sam: ...What the hell are you doing here?
Dean: Okay, alright. We gotta talk.
Sam: Um...the phone?
Dean: If I had called, would you have picked up?
(Jess in a tight blue Smurf shirt and short white panties) Dean: I love the Smurfs. You know, I gotta tell you, you are completely out of my brother's league.
Jess: Just let me put something on.
Dean: No, no, no, I wouldn't dream of it...seriously.
Sam: No. No, whatever you wanna say, you can say it in front of her.
Dean: Okay...um...Dad hasn't been home in a few days.
Sam: So he's working overtime on a Miller Time shift. He'll stumble back in sooner or later.
Dean: Dad's on a hunting trip, and he hasn't been home in a few days.
Sam: ...Jess, excuse us. We have to go outside.
Sam: I mean, come on, you can't just break in, middle of the night, and expect me to hit the road with you.
Dean: You're not hearing me, Sammy. Dad's missing. I need you to help me find him.
Sam: I swore I was done hunting for good.
Dean: Come on, it wasn't easy, but it wasn't that bad.
Sam: Yeah? When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a .45.
Dean: Well, what was he supposed to do?
Sam: I was nine years old. He was supposed to say, "Don't be afraid of the dark."
Dean: Don't be afraid of the dark? What, are you kidding me? Of course you should be afraid of the dark! You know what's out there!
Sam: Dad let you go on a hunting trip by yourself?
Dean: I'm twenty-six, dude.
Dean: So what are you gonna do? Just live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it?
Sam: No. Not normal. Safe.
Dean: And that's why you ran away? (sounds disgusted)
Sam: I was just going to college. It was dad who said if I was gonna go, I should stay gone, and that's what I'm doing.
Dean: I can't do this alone.
Sam: Yes, you can.
Dean: (looks down and away) Well, I don't want to.
Dean: In almost two years I never bothered you, never asked you for a thing.
Sam: So how'd you pay for that stuff? You and Dad still running credit card scams?
Dean: Well, yeah. Hunting ain't exactly a pro-ball career. Besides, all we do is apply. It's not our fault they send us the cards.
Sam: Dude, you gotta update your cassette tape collection.
Dean: Why?
Sam: Well, for one, they're cassette tapes. And two, Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Metallica?! It's the greatest hits of mullet rock.
Dean: House rules, Sammy. Driver picks the music; shotgun shuts his cake hole.
Sam: You know, Sammy is a chubby twelve-year-old. It's Sam, okay?
Dean: Sorry, can't hear you. The music's too loud.
Sam: So what's the theory?
Ranger Wilkinson: Seriously? We don't know. Serial murder, kidnapping ring...
Dean: Well, that's exactly the kinda crack police work I'd expect outta you guys.
Dean: (nodding at two agents) Agent Mulder, Agent Scully.
(after falling over the bridge)
Sam: Dean! Dean!
Dean: What?!
Sam: You alright?!
Dean: (waves up), yeh
Sam: Car alright?
Dean: Yeah, whatever she did to it, it seems alright now. That Constance chick - what a bitch!
Sam: You smell like a toilet.
Sam: Hey, Dean. What I said earlier, about Mom and Dad, I'm sorry.
Dean: (holds up hand to stop Sam) No chick flick moments.
Sam: Alright...jerk.
Dean: Bitch.
Officer: So, fake U.S. Marshall. Fake credit cards. You got anything that's real?
Dean: My boots.
Policeman: I'm not sure you realize just how much trouble you're in here.
Dean: We talking, like, misdemeanor kind of trouble? Or, uh... "squeal like a pig" kind of trouble?
Policeman: You got the faces of ten missing persons taped to your wall. Along with a whole lot of satanic mumbo jumbo. Boy, you are officially a suspect.
Dean: That makes sense. 'Cause when the first one went missing in '82, I was three.
Dean: Nice work, Sammy.
Sam: (painful laughing) Yeah, wish I could say the same for you. What were you thinking, shooting Casper in the face, you freak?
Dean: Hey, saved your ass! (looks at his car) I'll tell you another thing. If you screwed up my car, I'll kill you.
1.2 Wendigo Quotes
Ranger Wilkinson : You boys aren’t planning to go out near Black Water Ridge by any chance?
Sam: Oh, no sir. We’re Environmental Study Majors from UC Boulder, just working on a paper.
Dean: Recycle, man.
Ranger Wilkinson : Bull.
Sam: So, Black Water Ridge is pretty remote. It’s cut off by these canyons, here. The rough terrain, dense forest, abandoned silver and gold mines all over the place.
Dean: Dude, check out the size of this frigin’ bear.
Sam: And a dozen or more grizzlies in the area. It’s no nature hike, that’s for sure
Sam: We cannot let that Hailey girl go out there.
Dean: Oh yeah? What are we gonna tell her? That she can't go into the woods because of a big scary monster?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Her brother's missing, Sam. She's not just gonna sit this out. Now we go with her, we protect her, and we keep our eyes peeled for our fuzzy predator-friend.
Sam: Finding Dad's not enough? (slams trunk) Now we gotta babysit too?
Sam: So, we got half a chance in the daylight. And I, for one, wanna kill this evil son of a bitch.
Dean: Well hell, you know I'm in
Dean: Since when are you all shoot first, ask questions later, anyway?
Sam: Since now
Haley: You didn't pack any provisions. You guys are carrying a duffle bag. You're not rangers, so who the hell are you?
Dean: Sam and I are brothers, and we're looking for our father. He might be here, we don't know. I just figured that you and me, we're in the same boat.
Haley: Why didn't you just tell me that from the start?
Dean: I'm telling you now. Besides, that's probably the most honest I've ever been with a woman. Ever. So we okay?
Haley: Yeah, okay.
Dean: And what do you mean I didn't pack provisions? (pulls out peanut M&Ms and walks away)
Dean: You okay?
Sam: Yeah, I'm fine.
Dean: Another nightmare?
(Sam clears throat)
Dean: You wanna drive for a while?
Sam: Dean, your whole life you never once asked me that.
Dean: (to Sam) I think he wants us to pick up where he left off. You know, saving people, hunting things... The family business.
Hailey: And you're hiking out in biker boots and jeans?
Dean: Sweetheart, I don't do shorts.
Dean: You wanna tell me what's goin' on in that freaky head of yours?
Sam: Dean...
Dean: No, you're not fine, you're like a powder keg, man, it's not like you. I'm supposed to be the belligerent one, remember?
Dean: This is why. (Holds up their dad's journal) This book. This is Dad's single most valuable possession. Everything he knows about every evil thing is in here. And he's passed it on to us. I think he wants us to pick up where he left off, you know, saving people, hunting things. The family business.
Sam: That makes no sense. Why, why doesn't he just call us? Why doesn't he tell us what he wants; tell us where he is?
Dean: I dunno. But the way I see it, Dad's given us a job to do and I intend to do it.
Sam: Dean, no. I gotta find Dad. I gotta find Jessica's killer. It's the only thing I can think about.
Dean: Ok, alright, Sam, we'll find them, I promise. Listen to me. You've gotta prepare yourself. I mean, this search could take a while, and all that anger, you can't keep it burning over the long haul, it's gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man.
Sam: How do you do it? How does Dad do it?
Dean: Well, for one... them. (Looks over at Hailey and her brother) I mean, I figure our family's so screwed to hell; maybe we can help some others. Makes things a little more bearable. I'll tell you what else helps: Killing as many evil sons of bitches as I possibly can.
Dean: Chow time, you freaky bastard! Yeah, that's right, bring it on baby, I taste gooood!
Dean: Hey! Hey, you want some white meat, bitch!? I'm right here!
Haley: I don't know how to thank you. (Dean gives her "the look") Must you cheapen the moment?
Dean: Yeah.
1.3 Dead in the Water Quotes
Dean: You know, Sam, we are allowed to have fun once in a while. (Points to the waitress in short shorts) That's fun.
Sam: “Kids are the best”? You don't even like kids.
Dean: I love kids.
Sam: Name three children that you even know.(Dean thinks and Sam begins to walk away. Dean scratches his head)
Dean: I'm thinking!
Dean: So crayons is more your thing? That's cool. Chicks dig artists. Hey, these are pretty good. You mind if I sit and draw with you for a while? I'm not so bad myself. You know, I think you can hear me, you just don't want to talk. I don't know exactly what happened to your dad, but I know it was something real bad. I think I know how you feel. When I was your age, I saw something...anyway...well, maybe you don't think anyone will listen to you, or uh...or believe you. I want you to know that I will. You don't even have to say anything, you could draw me a picture about what you saw that day with your dad on the lake.
Lucas: (continues drawing)
Dean: Okay, no problem. This is for you (Hands Lucas the picture he drew) This is my family. (Points to the people he drew) That's my dad. That's my mom. That's my geek brother, and that's me. Alright, so I'm a sucky artist. I'll see you around, Lucas.
Dean:(to lucas) You're scared. It's okay, I understand. See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared, too. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see, my mom - I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day. And I do my best to be brave. And maybe...your dad wants you to be brave, too.
Dean: Oh, college boy thinks he's so smart. (Sam laughs)
Sam: You know, um...what you said about mom...you never told me that before.
Dean: It's no big deal...Oh God, we're not gonna have to hug or anything, are we?
(Dean puts a box of sandwiches in the car)
Dean: Alright, if you're gonna be talking now, this is a very important phrase, so I want you to repeat it one more time.
Lucas: Zeppelin rules!
Dean: That's right. Up high. (Holds his hand up for a high-5) You take care of your mom, okay?
Lucas: Alright.
Dean: You and Bill killed Peter Sweeney 35 years ago. That’s what the hell we’re talking about. And now you’ve got one seriously pissed off spirit.
Sam: It’s gonna take Andrea, Lucas, everyone you love. It’s gonna drown them and it’s gonna drag their body god knows where. So you can feel the same pain Peter’s mom felt. And then after, it’s gonna take you, and it’s not going to stop until it does.
Sheriff Devins: Yeah, and how do you know that?
Sam: Because that’s exactly what it did to Bill Carlton.
Sheriff Devins: Listen to yourselves, both of you. You’re insane.
Dean: I don’t really give a rat’s ass what you think of us
Sam: (referring to Lucus' picture) See this church? I bet there is less than a thousand of those around here.
Dean: (sarcastically) Oh, college boy thinks he's so smart
Dean: (to Sam) Oh god, we’re not going to have to hug or anything, are we?
Dean: I just don't want to leave this town until I know that the kid is okay.
Sam: Who are you? And what have you done with my brother?
1.4 Phantom Traveler Quotes
Dean: Did you get any sleep last night?
Sam: Yeah, I got a couple of hours.
Dean: Liar. See, I was up at 3 and you were watching George Foreman infomercials.
Sam: What can I say? It's riveting TV!
Dean: When's the last time you got a good night sleep?
Sam: I don't know. A little while, I guess. It's not a big deal.
Dean: Yeah it is!
Sam: Look, I appreciate your concern...
Dean: Oh, I'm not concerned about you. It's your job to keep my ass alive! So I need you sharp. Seriously, you still having nightmares about Jess?
Sam: So what, all of this never keeps you up at night? (Dean shakes his head) Never. You're never afraid? (Dean shakes his head again)
Dean: No, not really. (Sam reaches under his pillow and pulls out a knife) That's not fear. That is precaution.
Sam: Ah, whatever. I'm too tired to argue.
Sam: Yeah, I know what an EMF Meter is, but why does that one look like a busted up walkman?
Dean: (proudly) Cause that's what I made it out of. It's homemade.
Sam: (sarcastically) Yeah, I can see that.(Dean looks hurt)
Amanda: This is Amanda Walker.
Dean: Miss Walker. Hi! This is Dr. James Hetfield from St Francis Memorial Hospital. We have a Karen Walker here.
Amanda: My Karen?
Dean: It's nothing serious, just a minor car accident, but she was injured, so–
Amanda: Wait, wait, that is impossible. I just got off the phone with her.
Dean: You what?
Sam: Alright it's time for plan B. We're getting on that plane.
Dean: Wha… what? Hang on a second—
Sam: Dean, that plane is leaving with over a hundred passengers on board, and if we're right, that plane is gonna crash.
Dean: I know.
Sam: Well, okay. We need to get on the plane, we need to find that demon and exorcise it. Look, I'll get the tickets and you just go get whatever you can from the trunk, whatever will get past security, and meet me back here in five minutes. (Dean looks shocked) You okay?
Dean: No, not really.
Sam: What? What's wrong?
Dean: Well, I kinda have this problem with, um... (makes the movement of plane taking off with his hands)
Sam: Flying?
Dean: It's never really been an issue until now.
Sam: You're joking, right?!
Dean: Do I look like I'm joking? Why do you think I drive everywhere, Sam?
Sam: Alright, uhh… I'll go.
Dean: What?!
Sam: I'll do this one on my own.
Dean: Are you nuts? You said it yourself, that plane's gonna crash.
Sam: Look, Dean, we can do it together, I can do this one by myself. I'm not seeing a third option here.
Dean: Come on! Really? Man...
(Dean is being fidgety on the plane)
Sam: Just try to relax.
Dean: (through clenched teeth) Just try to shut up!
Sam: Are you humming Metallica?
Dean: Calms me down.
Sam: Look man, I get you're nervous alright, but you gotta stay focused.
Sam: What if she's already possessed?
Dean: There's ways to test that. I brought holy water.
Sam: No, I think we can go more subtle. If she's possessed she'll flinch at the name of God.
Dean: Uhh, nice (stands up)
Sam: Hey!
Dean: What?
Sam: Say it in Latin.
Dean: Yeah, I know (Begins to leave)
Sam: Hey!
Dean: What?!
Sam: Uhh... In Latin, it's Christo.
Dean: Dude, I know, I'm not an idiot.
Dean: Come on, that can't be normal!!
Sam: Hey, hey, it's just a little turbulence.
Dean: Sam, this plane is going to crash, so stop treating me like I'm freakin four!
Sam: You need to calm down.
Dean: I'm sorry, I can't.
Sam: Yes, you can.
Dean: Dude, stow the touchy-feely-self-help-yoga crap. It's not helping!
Dean: This is gonna sound nuts, but we don't have the time for the whole the-truth-is-out-there speech, so....
Dean: Yeah, a middle-aged dentist with an ulcer isn’t exactly evil personified.
Sam: Homeland Security. That’s pretty illegal, even for us.
Dean: Yeah well, it’s something new. You know, people haven’t seen it a thousand times
Sam: You've been in there forever.
Dean: You can't rush perfection.
Dean: What time is it now?
Sam: Oh about 5:45.
Dean: In the morning?!?
Sam: Yup.
Dean: (sarcastically) Where does the day go?
Dean: Yeah, it was a poltergeist right?
Co-Worker: Hey, Poltergeist, I love that movie!
Jerry: Yeah, no one's talking to you. Keep walkin'.
1.5 Bloody Mary Quotes
Sam: I take it I was having another nightmare.
Dean: Yeah. Another one.
Sam: Hey, at least I got some sleep.
(Sam has just bribed a man with some money)
Dean: Dude, I earned that money.
Sam: You won it at a poker game.
Dean: Ye-eah.
Man: Capillaries can burst. I see a lot of bloodshot eyes in stroke victims.
Dean: Yeah? You ever seen exploding eyeballs?
Sam: Might not be one of ours. It might be just some freak medical thing.
Dean: How many times in Dad's long, varied career has it actually been a freak medical thing? And not some sign of an awful supernatural death?
Sam: Almost never.
Dean: Exactly.
Sam: So we gotta search local newspapers, public records as far back as they go. See if we can find a Mary who fits the bill.
Dean: Well, that sounds annoying.
Sam: No, it won't be so bad, as long as we, ahh… (looks at the computers which have signs on them saying "OUT OF ORDER") ... Huh. I take that back. This will be very annoying.
Sam: (gasps out loud and jerks awake from another nightmare) Why did you let me fall asleep?
Dean: 'Cause I'm an awesome brother. (pauses) So, what did you dream about?
Sam: Lollipops and candycanes.
Sam: So, did you find anything?
Dean: Besides a whole new level of frustration? ...No.
Charlie: I'm insane, right?
Dean: No. You're not insane.
Charlie: God, that makes me feel so much worse.
Sam: Hey, night vision?
Dean (puts the digital camera's night vision on for Sam)
Sam (night vision is on and Sam sees Dean's face on the screen)
Dean: Do I look like Paris Hilton?
Dean: You know, her boyfriend killing himself, that's not exactly Charlie's fault.
Sam: You know as far as I do, spirits don't exactly see shades of grey, Dean. Charlie had a secret, someone died. That's good enough for Mary.
Sam: So maybe we should try to pin her down. You know, summon her through her mirror and then smash it.
Dean: Well, how do you know that's gonna work?
Sam: I don't. Well, not for sure.
Dean: Alright, you know what? That's it! (pulls car over and turns to face Sam) This is about Jessica, isn't it? (Sam says nothing) You think that's your dirty little secret? That you killed her somehow? (Sam is silent) Sam, this has got to stop, man. I mean the nightmares and... and calling her name out in the middle of the night. It's gonna kill you. Now listen to me, it wasn't your fault. If you want to blame something, then blame the thing that killed her. (still no response from Sam) Alright, why don't you take a swing at me? I'm the one who dragged you away from her in the first place.
Sam: I don't blame you.
Dean: Well, you shouldn't blame yourself, 'cause there was nothing you could've done.
Sam: I could have warned her.
Dean: About what? You didn't know it was gonna happen. Besides, all of this isn't a secret. I know all about it. It's not gonna work with Mary anyway.
Sam: No you don't.
Dean: I don't what?
Sam: You don't know all about it. I haven't told you everything.
Dean: (looks slightly confused) What are you talking about?
Sam: Well, it wouldn't be a secret if I told you, would it?
Dean: (shocked and speechless) No... I don't like it. It's not gonna happen. Forget it.
Sam: Dean, that girl back there is going to die unless we do something about it. And you know what? Who knows how many people are going to die after that? Now, we're doing this. You've got to let me do this.
Dean: (after smashing the mirror and going to help Sam on the ground) Sammy. Sammy?
Sam: It's Sam
Dean: (after surveying the room with all the broken mirrors) Hey, Sam?
Sam: Yeah?
Dean: This has gotta be like, what, 600 years bad luck?
Sam: Charlie? (Charlie turns around) Your boyfriend's death. You really should try to forgive yourself. No matter what you did, you probably couldn't have stopped him. Sometimes bad things just happen. (Charlie acknowledges and leaves)
Dean: (taps Sam on the shoulder and he turns around) That's good advice.
Dean: Hey, Sam?
Sam: Yeah?
Dean: Now that this is all over, I want you to tell me what that secret was.
Sam: Look, you're my brother. And I'd die for you. But there are some things I need to keep to myself.
1.6 Skin Quotes
Dean: ...then head south, Bisbee by midnight. (seeing no reaction from Sam) Sam wears women's underwear.'
Dean: Well, so you lie to them?
Sam: No, I just don't tell them...everything.
Dean: Yeah, that's called lying.
Dean: What it sucks, but with a job like this you can't get close to people, period.
Sam: You're kinda anti-social, you know that?
Dean: So the neighbours dog went psycho right around the time Zack's girlfriend was killed
Sam: Animals can have a sharp sense of paranormal
Dean: Yeah, maybe Fido saw something
Sam: So, you think maybe this is our kind of problem? (with an 'I told you so' look)
Dean: (looking unconvincing) No, probably not. But we should look at the security tape just to make sure.
Sam: Yeah (grinning)
Dean: Yeah
Dean: Alright, so what are we doing here 5:30 in the morning?
Sam: I realised something. the video tape showed the killer going in but not coming out.
Dean: So it came out the back door.
Sam: Right. So there should be a trail to follow. A trail the police would never find.
Dean: 'Cause they think the killer never left, because they caught your friend inside (mutters under his breath) still don't know that we're doing here at 5:30 in the morning...
Dean: Hey! Remember I said this wasn't our kind of problem?
Sam: Yeah
Dean: Definately our kind of problem.
Sam: So watcha find out?
Sam: Lemme ask you this. In all this shapeshifter lore, can any of them fly?
Dean: Not that I know
Sam: I picked up a trail here. Someone ran out the back of this building and headed off this way
Dean: Just like your friend Zack's house.
Sam: Yeah. And just like Zack's house, the trail suddenly... ends. And whatever it is, it just disappeared.
Dean: Well, there's another way to go... (pauses) down.
Dean: (fingering piece of skin-like goo with his pocket knife) You know what? I just had a sick thought. When the shape shifter changes shape maybe it sheds.
Sam: That is sick.
Dean: I hate to say it, but that's exactly what I'm talking about. You lied to your friends because if they knew the real you, they'd be freaked. It's just... It'll be easier if...
Sam:...I was like you.
Dean: Hey man, like it or not we're not like other people. But I'll tell you one thing. This whole gig... (takes out gun) it ain't without perks.
Dean: I think we're close to its lair.
Sam: Why do you say that?
Dean: 'Cause there's another puke-inducing pile next to your face.
Dean: That better be you Sam and not that freak of nature.
Sam: Yeah, it's me. He went to Becca's house... Looking like you.
Dean: Well he's not stupid, he picked the handsome one.
Sam: Come on! We gotta find a phone, call the police.
Dean: Whoa! Whoa whoa whoa! You gonna put an APB out on me?
Dean: But first I want to find that handsome devil and kick the holy crap out him.
Sam: We have no weapons, no silver bullets.
Dean: Sam, the guy's walking around with my face ok? It's a little personal, I want to find him!
Sam: The car?
Dean: I'm betting he drove over to Rebecca's.
Sam: The news said he set out on foot. I bet its still parked there.
Dean: Augh! The thought of him driving my car!
Sam: Oh come on!
Dean: It's killing me!
Sam: Let it go.
arriving at Rebecca's and seeing his car) Dean: Ah ha! There she is! (breathes out heavily) Finally something went right tonight. (police siren's and car appears) Dean: Ah crap.
Dean: Sorry man.
Sam: About what?
Dean: I really wish things could be different you know? I wish you could just be... Joe College.
Sam: Nah, it's ok. You know, the truth is even at Stanford, deep down I never really fit in.
Dean: Well that's 'cause you're a freak.
Sam: Yeah, thanks.
Dean: Well, I'm a freak too. I'm right there with you... All the way.
Sam: (chuckles) Yeah, I know you are.
Dean: You know I gotta say... I'm sorry I'm gonna miss it.
Sam: Miss what?
Dean: How many chances am I gonna have to see my own funeral?
1.7 Hook Man Quotes
[preparing to search.]
Dean: Alright, take your pick.
Sam: I'll take the house.
Dean: Okay. Hey, stay out of her underwear drawer.
[at a frat party.]
Dean: Man, you've been holding out on me, this college thing is awesome!
Sam: This wasn't really my experience.
Dean: Let me guess - libraries, studying, straight A's.
[Sam nods.]
Dean: What a geek.
Dean: I told him you were a dumbass pledge and that we were hazing you.
Sam: What about the shotgun?
Dean: I said that you were hunting ghosts and spirits were repelled by rock salt. You know, typical Hell Week prank.
Sam: And he believed you?
Dean: Well you look like a dumbass pledge.
Dean: (Dean falls on top of Sam as they sneak through a half-open window.) Oh, sorry!
Sam: Be quiet.
Dean: Me be quiet? You be quiet.
Dean: So you believe her?
Sam: I do.
Dean: Yeah, I think she's hot, too.
Dean: That's it! Next time, I get to watch the cute girl's house.
Dean: Your, uh, half-caff double vanilla latte's getting cold over here, Francis.
Sam: Bite me.
Dean: So this is how you spent four years of your life.
Sam: Welcome to higher education.
1.8 Bugs Quotes
Sam: Well, Dad never treated you like that, you were perfect. He was all over my case. You don't remember?
Dean: Well, maybe he had to raise his voice, but sometimes you were out of line.
Sam: Right! Right, like when I said I'd rather play soccer than learn bow hunting.
Dean: Bow hunting's an important skill!
Dean: Growing up in a place like this would freak me out.
Sam: Why?
Dean: The manicured lawns, "How was your day, honey?" I'd blow my brains out.
Sam: There's nothing wrong with normal.
Dean: I'd take our family over normal any day.
Dean: Kinda hungry for a little barbeque. How about you? (Sam glares at him) What, we can't talk to the locals?
Sam: And the free food's got nothing to do with it?
Dean: Of course not, I'm a professional!
Dean: Hunting's our day job. And the pay is crap.
Sam: Yeah, but hustling pool, credit card scams... It's not the most honest thing in the world, Dean.
Dean: Well let's see. Honest... fun and easy. (pause) It's no contest. Besides, we're good at it, it's what we were raised to do.
Sam: Yeah, well, how we were raised was jacked.
Dean: (after winning at gambling) Work, work work. No time to spend my money.
Sam: Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease.
Dean: Huh? (confused)
Sam: Human Mad Cow Disease.
Dean: Mad Cow.... wasn't that on Oprah?
Sam: You watch Oprah?[Dean looks embarrassed.]
Sam: The question is, why bugs and why now?
Dean: That's two questions.
Dean: Hmm... looks like there's only room for one. You wanna flip a coin?
Sam: Dean, we have no idea what's down there.
Dean: All right. I'll go if you're scared. Scared?
Sam: Flip the damn coin!
Dean: Call it in the air, chicken. (flips coin)
Sam: (catches coin) I'm going...don't drop me
Larry: Let me just say. We accept home owners of any race, religion, color or... sexual orientation.
Dean: We're brothers.
Real Estate Agent: We accept home owners of all race, religion, color, or... sexual orientation.
Dean: Right. Um, I'm going to go talk to Larry. Okay, Honey? (smacks Sam on the butt)
Dean: This shower is awesome!
1.9 Home Quotes
Missouri: Sam, oh honey. I'm sorry about your girlfriend. And your father...he's missing.
Sam: How'd you know all that?
Missouri: Well, you were just thinking it, just now.
Dean: Where is he? Is he okay?
Missouri: I don't know.
Dean: Don't know? Your supposed to be a psychic, right?
Missouri: Boy, you see me sawing some bony tramp in half?! You think I'm a magician?! I may be able to read thoughts and sense energies in a room but I can't pull facts out of thin air.
Missouri: Don't worry about a thing, your wife's crazy about you. (client leaves) Whoo, poor bastard. His woman is cold-banging the gardener.
Dean: Why didn't you tell him?
Missouri: People don't come here for the truth, they come for good news.
Dean: (to his Dad's voicemail) Dad, I know I've left messages before. I don't even know if you get 'em. But I'm with Sam and we're in Lawrence and there's something in our old house. I don't know if it's the thing that killed Mom or not...but...(tears up) I don't know what to do. So whatever you're doing, if you could get here...please. I need your help, Dad.
Missouri: Is that an EMF?
Dean: Yeah.
Missouri: Amateur.
Missouri: Boy, you put your foot on my coffee table, I'm going to whack you with a spoon.
Dean: I didn't do anything.
Missouri: You were thinking about it.
1.10 Asylum Quotes
Dean: (talking about his dad) You know, I love the guy, but I swear he writes like freaking Yoda.
Sam: Do you think Dad's sending us coordinates?
Dean: He's done it before...
Sam: The man can barely use a toaster, Dean.
Dean: The log book said he had some sort of hidden procedure room down here somewhere, where he'd work on his patients, so, I mean, if I was a patient, I'd drag his ass down here and do some work on him myself.
Sam: I told you, I looked everywhere. I didn't find a hidden room.
Dean: Well, that's why they call it hidden.
Dean: Hey, I gotta question for ya. You seen a lot of horror movies, yeah?
Kat: Yeah, I guess so.
Dean: Do me a favor. Next time you see one, pay attention. When someone says a place is haunted, don't go in.
Dean: Sam, put the gun down
Sam:(when he is possesed) Is that an order?
Dean: No, just a friendly request.
Dean: The only thing that makes me more nervous than a pissed-off spirit…is the pissed-off spirit of a psycho-killer.
Sam: Ghosts can appear at certain hours of the day.
Dean: Yup, the freaks come out at night.
Dean: Ghosts are attracted to that whole ESP thing you got goin' on.
Sam: I told you, it's not ESP, I just have strange vibes sometimes.
Dean: Let me know if you see any dead people, Haley Joel.
Dean: Hey Sam, who do you think is a hotter psychic? Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or you?
Sam: What Dad "wants" doesn't matter!
Dean: You see that? That attitude there? That's why I always got the extra cookie.
[Sam has woken up after Dean has burned Ellcott's bones.]
Dean: You're not gonna try to kill me, are you?
Sam: No.
Dean: Good. 'Cause that would be awkward.
Dean: (after finding Ellicot's body) Aw, that's just gross.
1.11 Scarecrow Quotes
Dean: Oh, and keep an eye on that scarecrow. It could come alive at any moment.
Sam: (looks around) What scarecrow?
Dean: What made you change your mind?
Sam: I didn't. I still wanna find dad. And you're still a pain in the ass.
Dean: How'd you get here?
Sam: I stole a car.
Dean: That's my boy!
Emily: So what's the plan?
Dean: I'm working on it.[several hours later.]
Emily: You don't have a plan, do you?
Dean: I'm working on it...
Emily: I don't understand. They're going to kill us?
Dean: Sacrifice us. Which is, I don't know, classier I guess.
Sam: The scarecrow crawled off its cross?
Dean: I'm telling you, Burkitsville, Indiana – Fun Town
Dean: Hold me, Sam. That was beautiful.
Sam: You should be kissing my ass - you were dead meat back there.
Dean: Yeah right. I had a plan - I'd have gotten out.
Dean: You know, my brother could give you this puppy dog look and you'd just buy right into it.
Dean: Sam, you were right, you gotta do your own thing, you gotta live your own life.
Sam: Are you serious?
Dean: You've always known what you want and you go after it. Stand up to Dad, and you always have. I wish I had. Anyway, I admire that about you. I'm proud of you, Sammy.
Sam: I don't even know what to say.
Dean: Say you'll take care of yourself.
Sam: I will.
Dean: Actually, I'm on my way to the local community college. I got an appointment with a professor...you know, since I don't have my trusty sidekick geek boy to do all the research!
Dean: You're a selfish bastard, you know that? You just do whatever you want. Don't care what anybody thinks.
Sam: That's what you really think?
Dean: Yes, it is.
Sam: Well, then this selfish bastard is going to California.
Dean:(To scarecrow) Dude, you fugly.
Dean: I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!
1.12 Faith Quotes
Dean: Have you ever watched daytime TV? It's terrible.
Sam: (sighs) I talked to your doctor.
Dean: That fabric softener teddy bear. Oooh! I'm gonna hunt that little bitch down.
Sam: Dean.
Dean: Yeah, alright. Well, it looks like you're going to leave town without me.
Sam: What are you talking about? I'm not leaving you here.
Dean: Hey, you better take care of that car or I swear I'll haunt your ass.
Sam: I don't think that's funny.
Dean: Ah, come on. It's a little funny. (pause) Look Sammy, what can I say, man? It's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw. That's it, end of story.
Sam: Don't talk like that, alright. We still have options.
Dean: What options? You got burial or cremation. I know it's not easy, but I'm gonna die and you can't stop it.
Sam: Watch me.
Dean: You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you?
Sam: I'm not gonna let you die period.
Dean: I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot.
Sam: You know this whole "I laugh in the face of death" thing is crap, I can see right through it.
Dean: Yeah, whatever. Have you even slept? You look worse than me.
Dean: Layla. I'm not much the prayin' type, but... I'm gonna pray for you.
Layla: Well, there's a miracle right there.
Sam: Maybe it's time to have a little faith, Dean.
Dean: You know what I've got faith in? Reality. Knowing what's really going on.
Sam: How can you be a skeptic? With the things we see every day?
Dean: Exactly. We see them. We know they're real.
1.13 Route 666 Quotes
Sam: You mean you dated someone? For more than one night?
Dean: Am I speaking in a language you're not getting here?
Sam: By an old friend, you mean...
Dean: A friend that's not new.
Sam: Yeah, thanks.
Sam: You TOLD her?! The big family secret? Rule number one - we do what we do and shut our mouths about it? (Dean is silent) DEAN!
Dean: Yeah! Looks like...
Dean: Yeah I guess. Who knows what ghosts are thinkin' anyway.
Sam: You know we're going to have to dredge that body up from the swamp right?
Dean: (little laugh) You said it.
Sam: (over a cellphone) Where are you?
Dean: I'm in the middle of nowhere with a killer truck on my ass!
Dean: Don't leave the house.
Cassie: Don't go getting all authoritative on me, I hate it.
Dean: Don't leave the house, please?
Sam: I figured maybe that would get rid of it.
Dean: Maybe?! Maybe?!? What if you were wrong?
Sam: Honestly that thought hadn't occured to me.
Dean: (mimicking Sam) "Well that honestly didn't occur to me." I'm gonna kill him.
Sam: I’m guessing you guys were working things out.
Dean: We’ll be working things out when we’re 90.
Sam: Occasionally I miss boring.
Dean: So this killer truck...
Sam: I miss conversations that didn't start with "this killer truck."
Sam: So burning the body had no effect on that thing?
Dean: Sure it did – now it’s really pissed.
Cassie: I thought it was what you wanted!
Dean: Well it wasn't!
Cassie: I didn't mean to hurt you!
Dean: Well you did!
Cassie: I'm sorry!
Dean: Yeah me too!
1.14 Nightmare Quotes
Sam: When Max locked me in that closet, that big cabinet against the door, I moved it.
Dean: You have a little bit more upper body strength than I give you credit for!
Sam: Well, I'll tell you one thing. We're lucky we had Dad.
Dean: I never thought I'd hear you say that.
Dean: I know what we need to do about your premonitions. I know where we have to go.
Sam: Where?
Dean: Vegas. (Sam ‘harrumphs' and walks out) What? Come on man! Craps table? We'd clean up!
Sam: Well, don't look at me like that.
Dean: I'm not looking at you like anything...but I do gotta say you look like crap.
Sam: Nice...thanks.
Sam: You can't tell me this doesn't freak you out.
[long pause.]
Dean: This doesn't freak me out.
Sam: Well, I know one thing I have in common with these people.
Dean: What's that?
Sam: Both our families are cursed.
Dean: Our family's not cursed…we've just had our dark spots.
Sam: (chuckles) Our dark spots are pretty dark.
Dean: You're...dark
Dean: You have something Max didn't.
Sam: What, you mean Dad? 'Cause he's not here Dean.
Dean: No, me.
Sam: We're not gonna kill Max.
Dean: Then what? I hand him over to the cops and say "Lock him up officer he kills with the power of his mind"?!
1.15 The Benders Quotes
Nervous Kid: It sounded like a monster...
Mom: Tell the officers what you were watching on TV
Nervous Kid: Godzilla versus (Maftha?Martha?)
Dean: Oh-ho.Yeah.. That's my favourite Godzilla movie. So much better than the original, huh?
Nervous Kid: Totally.
Dean: Yeah.. (Looking at Sam) He likes the remake....
Nervous Kid: Yuck!
Dean: Demons I get. People are crazy.
Dean: I ready need to start carrying paperclips.
Sam: So you got sidelined by a 13-year old girl?
Dean: Shut up.
Sam: I'm just saying, getting a little rusty there aren't you, kiddo?
Deputy Kathleen: So, Gregory.
Dean: Yeah.
Deputy Kathleen: I ran your badge number. It's routine when we're working on a case with State Police, for accounting purposes and what have you.
Dean: Mmhmm.
Deputy Kathleen: And, uh, you just got back to me... says here your badge was stolen. And there's a picture of you.
[turns the screen towards Dean, on which there is a picture of a portly, African-American police officer. There is a long silence]:
Dean: I lost some weight. And I got that... Michael Jackson skin disease...
Deputy Kathleen: So you know his brother Dean Winchester died in St. Louis and was suspected of murder?
Dean: Yeah, Dean, kinda the black sheep of the family. Handsome, though.
Dean: (talking about Sam) When we were young, I pretty much pulled him from a fire. And ever since then I've felt responsible for him, like it's my job to keep him safe.
Dean: Don't ever do that again.
Sam: Do what?
Dean: Go missing like that.
Sam: You were worried about me!
Dean: I'm just saying, you vanish like that again and I'm not looking for you.
Sam: Sure you are.
Dean: No I'm not.
Deputy Kathleen: (about Sam) Does your cousin have a drinking problem?
Dean: What, Sam? Two beers and he's doin' karaoke.
Pa: But the best hunt is human. Oh, there's nothin' like it. Holdin' their life in your hands. Seein' the fear in their eyes just before they go dark. Makes you feel powerful alive.
Dean: You're one sick puppy.
Pa Bender: Tell me, any other cops gonna come lookin' for you?
Dean: Eat me. Oh no no no wait wait wait, you actually might.
Dean: Oh, you gotta be kiddin' me. That's what this is about? You yahoos hunt people?
1.16 Shadow Quotes
Dean: What are you gonna do?
Sam: I'm gonna watch Meg.
Dean: (laughing) Yeah, you are.
Sam: I just wanna see what's what. Better safe than sorry.
Dean: All right, you little pervert.
Dean: So Sammy's got a thing for the bad girl.
Sam: I'm just saying, there's something about this girl I can't quite put my finger on.
Dean: But I bet you'd like to. Maybe she's not a suspect, maybe...maybe you've got a thing for her. Maybe you're thinking a little too much with your upstairs brain.
[over the phone.]
Sam: Hi.
Dean: Let me guess - you're lurking outside that poor girl's apartment, aren't you?
Sam: No!...Yes...
Dean: You got a funny way of showing your affection.
Landlady: You guys said you're with the alarm company?
Dean: That's right.
Landlady: Well, no offense, but your alarm's about as useful as boobs on a man.
Dean: That's why we're here.
Dean: I talked to the bartender.
Sam: Did you get anything...besides her number?
Dean: Dude, I'm a professional. I'm offended that you would think that (smiles and chuckles as he displays a napkin with her phone number)...All right.
Sam: You mind doing a little thinking with your upstairs brain, Dean?
Dean: So, to recap, the only successful intel we've scored so far is the bartender's phone number.
Sam: I think there's something weird going on here.
Dean: Yeah – she wasn't even that into me!
Dean: Hey, Sam…?
Sam: Hmm?
Dean: Next time you want to get laid…find a girl that's not so buckets of crazy, huh?
Dean: Why don't you go up and deliver a private strip-o-gram?
Sam: Bite me.
Dean: Oh no, Bite her. Just don't leave any teeth marks... (Sam hangs up) Sam?
Dean: Hey Sam. Don't take this the wrong way, but your girlfriend...is a bitch.
Meg: Guys hiding is a little childish, dont you think?
Dean: Well that didn't work out like I planned!
1.17 Hell House Quotes
Sam: [hesitantly] Well, I knew we were gonna be passing through Texas, so, uh, last night I searched some local...paranormal websites and I found one.
Dean: And what's it called? [Sam is reluctant]
Sam: Hell Hound's Lair dot com.
Sam: That was your great idea? To burn the house down?
Dean: Well no one will go in any more.
Sam: Truce?
Dean: Yeah, truce... at least for the next hundred miles.
Dean: I don't know, Sam. I mean, I hate to agree with authority figures of any kind, but you know, the cops might be right about this one.
Dean: Why don't you tell us about that house - without lying through your ass this time?
Dean: Man I hate rats.
Sam: Would you rather it was a ghost?
Dean: Yes.
Harry: What are you guys doing here?
Dean: What the hell are you doing here?
Ed: Uh, we belong here, we're professionals.
Dean: Professional what?
Dean: Most of those websites wouldn't know a ghost if it bit them in the pursqueeter.
Dean: What's the matter, Sammy? You afraid you gonna get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?
Sam: All right. Just remember you started it.
Dean: Oh, bring it on, baldy.
Dean: People believe in Santa Claus - why aren't I getting hooked up every Christmas?
Sam: 'Cause you're a bad person.
Dean: I thought the legend said that Mordecai only goes after chicks.
Sam: It does.
Dean: Alright, well I mean that explains why it went after you, but why me?
Sam: Hilarious.
Dean: Looks like old man Murdoch was a bit of a tagger during his time.
Sam: And after his time, too. The reverse cross was used by satanists for centuries, but the sigil of sulphur didn't show up in San Francisco until the '60's
Dean: Exactly why you never get laid.
Dean: WHO YOU GONNA CALL?!
[after Ed and Harry have left, explaining that they have to meet a producer for rights to a movie]
Sam: Actually, I'm the one who called them pretending to be a producer.
Dean: That's great! I'm the one who threw the dead fish in their back seat.
[Dean's hand is stuck to his beer]
Dean:You didn't.
Sam: Oh, I did.
[Sam holds up superglue]
1.18 Something Wicked Quotes
Dean: Well, maybe he's [their father] gonna meet us there.
Sam:(sniggers) Yeah, cause he's been so easy to find at this point.
Dean: You're a real smart ass, you know that? (pauses) Don't worry, I'm sure there's something in Fitchberg worth killing.
Sam: Yeah? what makes you so sure?
Dean: Because I'm the oldest... which means I'm always right.Sam: No, it doesn't.
Dean: Yeah, it totally does.
Sam: Dude, dude, I'm not using this ID!
Dean: Why not?
Sam: Because it says "bikini inspector" on it!
Dean: When we were there, I saw a patient. An old woman.
Sam: An old person, huh?
Dean: Yeah.Sam: (eyebrows raised) At a hospital.
Dean: (looks up at Sam)
Sam: Wooo... better call the Coast Guard.
Dean: Well, listen, smart ass, she had an inverted cross hanging on her wall.
Sam: I'm surprised you didn't draw on him right there.
Dean: Yeah, well, first of all, I wasn't gonna open fire at a freakin' pediatrics ward.
Sam: Good call.
Dean: Second, it wouldn't have done any good cause the bastard's bullet-proof unless he's chowing down on something, and third, I wasn't packing, which is probably a good thing, 'cause I probably would have just burned a clip in him just out of principle alone.
Sam: Getting wise in your old age, Dean.
Michael: (sitting behind motel reception desk) A King or two queens?
Dean: Two queens.
Michael: (looks smug) Yeah I'll bet.
Dean: What?
Michael: Cool car
Michael: You said you're a big brother.
Dean: Yeah.
Michael: You'd take care of your little brother? You'd do anything for him?
Dean: Yeah... I would.
Michael: Me too. I'll help.
Dean: Well, we'll be right in the next room. We're gonna come in with guns, so as soon as we do, you roll off this bed and crawl under it.
Michael: What if you shoot me?
Dean: (shakes head) We won't shoot you. We're good shots. We're not gonna fire until you're clear, okay?
Michael: (nods)
Dean: Have you ever heard of a gunshot before?
Michael: Like in the movies?
Dean: This is gonna be a lot louder than in movies so I want you to stay under the bed, cover your ears. Do not come out till we say so, you understand?
Sam: Hey, Dean, I'm sorry
Dean: (looks confused) For what?
Sam: You know. I know I've given you a lot of crap for always following Dad's orders. But I know why you do it.
Dean: Oh God... kill me now.
Dean: HEY!(Shtriga stops sucking the life out of Sam to look up at Dean)
Dean:(Dean shoots it in the head and Shtriga falls off Sam) You okay, little brother?
Sam: It's too bad.
Dean: No, they'll be fine.
Sam: It's not what I meant. I meant Michael. (pauses) He'll always know that there are things out there in the dark. He'll never be the same. You know... (pauses again) sometimes I wish that... (trails off)
Dean: What?
Sam: I wish I could have that kind of innocence.
Dean: (pauses) If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could too.
1.19 Provenance Quotes
Sam: Alright, so I think I've got something.
Dean: Yeah, me too. (looks towards hot chick) I think we need to take a little short leave, just a little one. What do you think, huh? I'm so on the door with this one.
Sam: So what are we today, Dean? Rock stars? Are we army rangers?
Dean: LA TV scouts, looking for people with special skills.
Dean: She's got a friend over there, probably can hook you up. What do you think?
Sam: Dean? Ah... no thanks. I can get my own dates.
Dean: Yeah, but you don't.
Sam: What's that suppose to mean?
Dean: Nothing. What've you got?
Daniel: Can I help you gentlemen?
Dean: I'd like some champagne please.
Sam: (to Dean, shocked) He's not a waiter.
Daniel: I'm Daniel Blake. This is my auction house. Now, gentlemen, this is a private showing and I don't remember seeing your name on the guest list.
Dean: (With a mouth full of food) We're there Chuckles, you just need to take another look. (looks around, sees a waiter holding out champagne glasses and helps himself to one) Ooh, finally!
Sarah: I'm Sarah Blake
Sam: Sam. And this is, uh... (turns to Dean who is yet again stuffing his mouth with food) my brother Dean...
Sarah: Dean.
Dean: Mmmmmmm.
Sarah: Can we get you some more mini quiches?
Dean: Mmmm, (shakes head) I'm good thanks.
Dean: Well, we're not getting anything out of Chuckles, but, uh.. Sarah...
Sam: Yeah, maybe you can get her to write it all down on a cocktail napkin.
Dean: (chuckles) Not me.
Sam: Oh, no no no no. Pickups are your thing Dean.
Dean: It wasn't my butt she was checking out.
Dean: Sometimes you have to take one for the team.
Dean: So she just handed the providences over to you?
Sam: Provenances.
Dean: Provenances?
Sam: Yes, we went back to her place, I got a copy of the papers.
Dean: And?
Sam: And nothing. That's it. I left.
Dean: You didn't need to con her? Or do any special favors or anything like that?
Sam: Dean, would you get your mind out of the gutter, please?
(Sam and Dean are frantically searching for Dean's wallet)
Sarah: Hey guys!
Sam: Sarah! Hey!
Sarah: What are you doing here?
Sam: Err.. um.. we're leaving town and you know, we came to say goodbye.
Dean: What are you talking about? We're sticking around another day or two.
(Sam looks confused)
Sarah: Uh huh... (looks perplexed)
Dean: Oh Sam, by the way, I thought I'd give you that 20 bucks I owe you... (takes out his wallet from back pocket. Sam realises Dean has tricked him)
Sam: I don't understand, Dean. We burned the damn thing.
Dean: Yeah, thank you, Captain Obvious.
Dean: Alright, well, if his head position changed, then maybe some other things in the painting changed as well, you know, can give us some clue.
Sam: What, like The Da Vinci Code?
Dean: I don't... know... I'm still waiting for the movie on that one.
Dean: Alright, you like her; she likes you. You're both consenting adults.
Sam: What's the point Dean? We'll just leave. We always leave.
Dean: Well, I'm not talking about marriage, Sam.
Sam: You know what, I don't get it. What do you care if I hook up?
Dean: 'Cause then maybe you wouldn't be so cranky all the time.
Dean: You know, seriously, Sam, this isn't just about hooking up, okay? I mean, I, I think that this Sarah girl could be good for you. And I don't mean any disrespect, but I'm—I'm sure that this is about Jessica, right? Now I don't know what it's like to lose somebody like that, but I would think that she would want you to be happy; God forbid, have fun once in awhile. Wouldn't she?
Sam:: Yeah, I know she would. Yeah, you're right - part of this is about Jessica, but not the main part.
Dean: What's it about? (Sam is silent) Yeah, alright.
Sam: Sarah, you saw that painting move.
Sarah: No...no... I, I was seeing things. It's impossible
Dean: Yeah, well, welcome to our world
Sarah: Look, I'm not saying that I'm not scared, cause I am scared as hell, but I'm not going to run and hide either. (walks towards the door) So, are we going or what? (exits)
Dean: Sam, marry that girl.
Sarah: I thought the painting was harmless now.
Sam: Better be safe than sorry. We're gonna burn the sucker.
Sarah: I wanna come with you.
Sam: You sure?
Sarah: Yeah (gets out of car)
Dean: Hey, hey, hey, I'll stay here, you go make your move.
Sam: Sshh!
Dean: Sam, I'm serious!
Dean: I'll go wait in the car. See you, Sarah (reluctant to leave... but slowly walks off, muttering) I'm the one who burned the doll and destroyed the spirit, but don't thank me or anything.
1.20 Dead Man's Blood Quotes
Dean: Looks like the maid didn't come today.
Sam: Hey, there's salt over here. Right inside the door.
Dean: You mean like protection-against-demons salt or oops-I-spilled-the-popcorn salt.
Sam: It's clearly a ring.
Dean: Vampires! Gets funnier every time I hear it.
Vamp: Car trouble? Let me give you a lift. Take you back to my place.
Dean: Naah, I'll pass. I usually draw the line at necrophilia.
Vamp: Oooo. (Punches Dean in face, grabs him, and picks him up by the neck.)
Dean: Ah, oh. I don't normally get this friendly til the second date, but...
Vamp: You know, we could have some fun. I always like to make new friends. (Forces Dean to kiss her)
Dean: Sorry, I can only stay with a chick so long - definitely not eternity.
John: So boys.
Sam: Yes, sir.
John: You ignored a direct order back there.
Sam: Yes, sir.
Dean: Yeah, but we saved your ass.
John: You're right.
Dean: I am?
1.21 Salvation Quotes
John: Alright, something like this starts happening to your brother, you pick up the phone and you call me.
Dean: Call you! Are you kidding me? (crosses towards John) Dad, I called you from Lawrence, alright. Sam called you when I was dying. I mean, getting you on the phone - I've got a better chance of winning the lottery.
Sam: Maybe we could tell them there's a gas leak, that might get them out of the house for a few hours.
Dean: Yeah, and how many times has that actually worked for us?
Sam: Yeah. (long pause) We could always tell them the truth.
Sam and Dean: (in unison) Naaah.
Sam: Dean, uh, I want to thank you.
Dean: For what?
Sam: For everything. You've always had my back, you know. Even when I couldn't count on anyone, I could always count on you. And, uh, I just wanted to let you know, just in case.
Dean: Whoa, whoa, whoa, you kidding me?
Sam: What?
Dean: Don't say just in case something happens to you, I don't want to hear that freaking speech, man. Nobody's dying tonight, not us, not that family, nobody. Except that demon. That evil son of a bitch ain't getting any older than tonight, understand me?
Cute Girl: Hi, is there anything I can do for you?
Dean: Oh god, yes
1.22 Devil's Trap Quotes
Dean: Where's our father, Meg?
Meg: You didn't ask very nice.
Dean: Where's our father, bitch?
Meg: You kiss your mother with that mouth?
John (possessed): He’s gonna taste the iron in your blood.
Dean: Let him go, or I swear to God...
John (possessed): What? What are you and God gonna do? You see as far as I’m concerned, this is justice. You know that little exorcism of yours? That was my daughter. The one in the alley? That was my boy. You understand?
Dean: You got to be kidding me.
John (possessed): What? You the only one that can have a family? You destroyed my children. How would you feel if I killed your family? Oh, that’s right, I forgot I did. Still, two wrongs don’t make a right.
Dean: You son of a bitch.
Sam: I wanna know why. Why’d you do it?
John (possessed): You mean why’d I kill mommy and pretty little Jess?
Sam: Yeah
John (possessed): [to Dean] You know I never told you this, but Sam was going to ask her to marry him. Been shopping for rings and everything. You wanna know why? Because they got in the way.
Sam: In the way of what?
John (possessed): My plans for you, Sammy, you, and all the children like you.
Dean: Listen, you mind just getting this over with, because I really can’t stand the monologuing.
John (possessed): Funny, but that’s all part of your MO isn’t it? Mask all that nasty pain, mask the truth.
Dean: Oh yeah? What’s that?
John (possessed): You know you fight, and you fight for this family, but the truth is, they don’t need you, not like you need them. Sam, he’s clearly John's favorite. Even when they fight its more concern than he’s ever shown you.
Dean: I bet you’re real proud of you kids too huh? Oh wait, I forgot, I wasted them.
Season TWO
2.1 In My Time of Dying Quotes
Dean: [to Sam] Come on, you're the psychic. Give me some ghost whispering or something!
Sam: Hey Dad, you know, the demon, he said he had plans for me and the children like me. Do you have any idea what he meant by that?
John: No, I don't.
[Sam leaves the room]
Dean: [to John] Well, you sure know something.
Dean: Come on, Dad, you've got to help me. I've got to get better, I've got to get back in there. You haven't called a soul for help, you haven't even tried. Aren't you going to do anything, aren't you even going to say anything? I've done everything you've ever asked me, everything. I've given everything I've ever had, and you're just going to sit there and watch me die? What the hell kind of father are you?!
(After swiping a glass of water off a table in anger)
Dean: Dude, I full-on Swazyed that mother!
Tessa: What are you, some kind of New Agey guy?
Dean: [annoyed] You see me messing with crystals and listening to Yanni?
Tessa: I just think, whatever's going to happen is going to happen. It's out of my control; it's just fate.
Dean: That's crap. You always have a choice. You can either roll over and die or you can keep fighting, no matter what.
Sam: Hey. I think maybe you you're around, and if you are, don't make fun of me for this, but, um, there's one way we can talk.(Sam pulls out a "Mystical Talking Board")
Dean: Oh you've got to be kidding me.
Sam: Dean? Dean, are you here?
Dean: God, I feel like I'm at a slumber party.
John: It's no trick. I'll give you the Colt and the bullet, but you've got to help Dean. You've got to bring him back.
Demon: Why John, you're a sentimentalist. If only your boys knew how much their daddy loved them.
John: It's a good trade. You care a hell of a lot more about this gun than you do about Dean.
John:How you feeling, dude?
Dean: Fine I guess. I'm alive.
John: That's what matters.
Sam:: Where were you last night?
John: I had some things to take care of.
Sam:: Well, that's specific.
Dean: Come on, Sam.
Sam:: Did you go after the Demon?
John: No.
Sam:: You know, why don't I believe you right now?
John: Can we not fight? You know, half the time we're fighting I don't even know what we're fighting about. Just butting heads. Sammy, I've made some mistakes, but I've always done the best I could. I just don't want to fight anymore, okay?
Dean: Dad, are you all right?
John: Yeah... I'm just a little tired. Hey Sam, would you mind getting me a cup of caffeine?
Sam:: Yeah, sure.
Dean: What is it?
John: You know... when you were a kid, I'd come home from a hunt and after what I'd seen I'd be...I'd be wrecked. And you...you'd come up to me and put your hand on my shoulder and you'd look me in they eye and, you'd say 'Its okay, dad.' Dean, I'm sorry.
Dean: For what?
John: You shouldn't have had to say that to me. I should've been saying it to you. I put too much on your shoulders. I made you grow up too fast. You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that. And you didn't complain, not once. I just want you to know that I am so proud of you.
Dean: Is that really you talking?
John: Yeah, it's really me.
Dean: Why you saying this stuff?
John: I want you to watch out for Sammy, okay?
Dean: Yeah dad, you know I will. You're scaring me
2.2 Everybody Loves a Clown Quotes
[Dean and Sam are forced to drive a Dodge Caravan while the Impala is still being repaired]
Dean: I feel like a freakin' soccer mom.
Sam: So look, if you can help, we could use all the help we can get.
Ellen: Well we can't. But Ash will.
Sam: Who's Ash?
Ellen: ASH![A man in a red plaid jacket with a mullet sleeping on the pool table jolts awake]
Ash: What? Closin' time?
Sam: That's Ash?
Jo: Mmm hmm, He's a genius.[Skips to a discussion at the bar with Ash, John's journal is presented to him]
Dean: Come on, this guy's no genius. He's a Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie.
Ash: I like you.
Dean: I know what you're thinking: why'd it have to be clowns? [refrence to Raiders of the Lost Ark "Why'd it have to be snakes"]
[Dean and Sam are arguing over whose phobia is more pathetic]
Dean: Planes crash, Sam!
Sam: And apparently clowns kill!
Dean: Excuse me. We're looking for a Mr. Cooper. Have you seen him around?
Amazing Papazian: What is that? Some kind of joke? [removes his glasses, showing he's blind]
Dean: Oh God, I'm sorry...
Amazing Papazian: You think I wouldn't give my eye teeth to see Mr. Cooper, or a sunset, or anything at all...?
Dean: [Aside, to Sam] You wanna give me a little help here?Sam: Not really.
Midget Clown: Hey Barry, is there a problem?
Amazing Papazian: Yeah, this guy hates blind people.Dean: No, no I don't...
Midget Clown: Hey buddy, what's your problem?
Dean: Nothing, it's just a little misunderstanding.
Midget Clown: Little? You son of a bitch
Dean: No, no, no, I'm just... Can somebody tell me where Mr. Cooper is? Please?
Mr. Cooper: You two have never worked a show in your lives before, have you?
Dean: Nope. But we really need the work. So... and ah, Sam here's got a thing for the bearded lady.
[After Dean and Sam return to the roadhouse, Ash emerges from his room]
Ash: Where you guys been? Been waitn' for ya...
Sam: We were working a job, Ash. [Ash looks blankly at Sam] Clowns?
Ash: Clowns? What the f-
Dean: [Interupting] You got something for us Ash?
Sam: Before...before he...[He stops, unable to get the words out] Did he say anything to you? About anything?
Dean: [pause] No. Nothin'.
Dean: I just think it’s really interesting, this sudden obedience you have to Dad. It’s like, “Oh, what would Dad want me to do?” Sam, you spent your entire life sluggin’ it out with that man. I mean, hell, you picked a fight with him the last time you ever saw him, and now that he’s dead, now you want to make it right? Well, I’m sorry, Sam, but you can’t. It’s too little, too late.
Sam: Why are you sayin' this to me?
Dean: Because I want you to be honest with yourself about this! I’m dealin’ with Dad’s death! Are you?
Sam: You were right.
Dean: About what?
Sam: About me and Dad. I’m sorry that the last time I was with him, I tried to pick a fight. I’m sorry that I spent most of my life angry at him. I mean, for all I know, he died thinkin’ that I hate him. So, you’re right. What I’m doin’ right now - it is too little. It’s too late. [pause] I miss him, man. And I feel guilty as hell. [He is on the verge of tears.] And I’m not all right. Not at all. [pause] But neither are you. That much I know. I’ll let you get back to work. [He leaves.]
2.3 Bloodlust Quotes
[Dean is overjoyed to have his Impala back]
Sam: Look, if you two need time alone, just say so.
Dean: [to the Impala] Don't listen to him, baby. He doesn't understand us.
Dean: You all right, Sammy?
Sam: Yeah, I'm fine.
Gordon: Well, lighten up a little, Sammy.
Sam: He's the only one who gets to call me that.
Dean: Go on. Clock me one.
Sam: Dude, you look like you just went twelve rounds with a block of cement! I'll take a raincheck.
Sam: (sighs) Look, I don't want to bring you guys down, I'm just gonna head back to the motel.
Dean: (groans slightly) You sure?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Hey, Sammy! Remind me to beat that buzz-kill out of you later, alright?
Dean: Did you check out that Barker farm?
Gordon: It’s a bust. Just a bunch of hippy freaks. Though they could kill you with that patchouli smell alone.
Sam: Ready to go, Dean?
Dean: Not yet. (to Gordon) I guess this is goodbye. Well, it’s been real. (punches Gordon right off the chair) Okay, I’m good now. We can go
Dean: All right, Open it.
Sam: You open it.
Dean: Wuss.
Dean: (to Gordon) I might be like you, and I might not. But you’re the one tied up right now.
Sheriff: What newspaper did you say you worked for?
Dean: World Weekly News.
Sam: Weekly World News.
Dean: World...
Sam: Weekly World News.
Dean: Wor... I'm new.
Sheriff: Get out of my office
Sam: Dean, get me a bucket.
Dean: Find something?
Sam: No, I think i'm going to puke.
[Dean looks at Sam with the "are you kidding" look]
Dean: wait, lift her lip up again.
Sam: WHAT?!? do you want me to puke, is that it ??
[They find a fang in the corpses mouth]
Sam: well, this changes things...
Dean: YOU THINK!?!?!
[Dean and Sam come in in white coats]
Dean: [sees that the name of the man that is sitting by the desk starts with J] Jhonn
Man at desk: Jeff
Dean: Jeff, I know that...
Dean: Dr. Dorkan needs to see you right away in his office.
Jeff: But Dr. Dorkan is on vacation
Dean: Well he's back, and he's pissed, and he's screaming for you man, so I would [whistles amd Jeff runs out]
2.4 Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things Quotes
Television that Sam is watching: [sultry voice] Next on the skin channel, Casa Erotica IV a tale of two Latin beauties...[Dean enters and Sam quickly turns off the television]
Sam: [off-handedly] Hey. [Dean looks at the TV and back at Sam]...What?
Dean: Awkward...
Dean: I'm just not getting an 'angry spirit' vibe from Angela. I have been reading this though. [holds up a pink book]
Sam: You stole the girl's diary?
Dean: Yeah, Sam, and if anything, that girl is a little too nice.
Sam: So what do we do?
Dean: Keep digging, talk to more of her friends.
Sam: You get any names?
Dean: You kiddin' me? I have her bestest friend in the whole wide world.
Dean: We can't just waste 'em with a headshot?
Sam: Dude, you've been watching way too many Romero flicks.
Dean: You're telling me there's no lore on how to smoke them?
Sam: No, Dean, I'm telling you there's too much. I mean, there's at least a hundred different legends on the walking dead, but they all have different methods for killing them. Some say setting them on fire... uh, one said [flipping through John's journal] ...where is it? Right here. "Feeding their hearts to wild dogs." That's my personal favorite.
Dean: Neil, it's your grief counselors. We've come to hug.
[Searching Neil's house and finding a heavily bolted door above the stairs to the zombie pen]
Dean: [jokingly] Well, this is where he keeps his porn...
[upon finding the empty zombie pen]
Sam: You think Angela's going after somebody?
Dean: [knocking aside a grate to reveal a large hole in the wall leading outside] Nah, I think she went out to rent Beaches.
Sam: Look, smartass, she might kill someone. We've got to find her, Dean.
Dean: Yeah. Alright, she, uh... She clipped Matt because he was cheating, right?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Well, it takes two to, you know... have hardcore sex.
Dean: I've heard of some people doing some pretty desperate things to get laid, but you...you take the cake.
Dean: What's dead should stay dead.
Sam: Where were you ?
Dean: Just working my imaginary case.
Sam: So, if Angela got her revenge on Matt, do you think it's over ?
Dean: Well there's one way to find out.
Sam: Yeah, what's that?
Dean: Burn the bones.
Sam: Burn the bones?!? Are you high?
[Dean puts up a look likes he's thinking about it]
Sam: Angela died last week.
Dean: So?
Sam: So there's not gonna be bones, there's gonna be a ripe rotting body in the coffin.
Dean: Since when are you afraid to get a little dirty, huh?
[Sam and Dean have finally dug the coffin up]
Dean: [points at coffin] ladies first
Dean: We got a freaking zombie running around and we need to figure out a way to kill it.
[Sam looks off into space]
Dean: right?
Sam: Our lives are weird man...
Dean: You're telling me...?
Sam: Silver bullets?
Dean: yeah, enough to make her rattle like a change purse.
Dean [to Neil]: You're girlfriend is past her expiration date, and we're crazy?
Sam: Did we have to use me as bait?
Dean: Well, yeah, I figured you were more her type, she had pretty crappy taste in guys.
Sam: I think she broke my hand.
Dean: Yeah, you're just too fragile.
[as they're burying Angela]
Sam: Rest in peace.
Dean: For good this time OK?
2.5 Simon Said Quotes
[Looking through the items in a van]
Dean: And Moby Dick's bong.
[Reviewing county birth records]
Sam: Andy, it's true. Holly Beckett was your birth mother.
Andy: Does anyone have a Vicodin?
Sam: Dr. Jennings was her doctor too... I mean, he oversaw the adoption. You have a solid connection to both of them.
Andy: Yeah, but I didn't kill them.
Dean: We believe you. But who did?
Sam: I think I've got a pretty good guess. Holly Beckett gave birth to twins.
Andy: [Holding his head, awestruck] I have an evil twin...
Office Clerk: Probably shouldn't have let you kids in here...
Andy: No, it will all be fine. Just go get a cup of coffee, alright? 'These aren't the droids you're looking for.'
Dean: Awesome.
[Upon finding the Impala intact]
Dean: Oh, thank God! I'm sorry baby, I'll never leave you again!
[Sam calls Dean on his cell phone]
Sam: Dean! Andy has the Impala!
Dean: I know! He just sort of asked me for it, and then I let him take it...
Sam: You what?!
Dean: He full-on Obi-waned me! It's mind control, man!
[Dean and Sam are observing Andy's van from their car]
Dean: I'm sorry, I'm starting to like this dude. That van is sweet.
Server: If you want to find him [Andy], try Orchard St. Just look for a van with a barbarian queen painted on the side.
Dean: Barbarian queen?
Server: She's riding a polar bear, it's kinda hard to miss.
[Dean is singing "Can't Fight This Feeling" by REO Speedwagon in the car]
Dean: "And even as a wanderer, I'm keepin' you in sight/ You a candle in a window on a cold dark winter's night..."[Sam appears confused and annoyed]
Dean: [continuing] "And i'm getting closer than I ever thought, I might-"
Sam: [staring at Dean] You're kidding, right?
Dean: I heard the song somewhere; I can't get it out of my head. I don't know, man.
Dean: If I ran off with you, I think your mother might kill me.
[gives Ellen a sheepish grin as she glares at him from across the room]
Jo: You're afraid of my mother?
Dean: [turns back to Jo] I think so.
[Jo puts music on and takes tray of glasses to counter, Dean gives her a look]
Jo: What?
Dean: REO Speedwagon?
Jo: Damn right, REO, Kevin Cronin sings it from the heart.
Dean: He sings it from the hair, there's a difference.
[Sam knocks on Ash's door, which bears the sign "Dr. Badass is: In/Out"]
Sam: Ash. [knocks again] ...Hey, Ash![Dean knocks]
Dean: Hey, Dr. Badass![Door opens and Ash is completely naked]
Ash: Sam. Dean. Sam and Dean.
Sam: Hey, Ash... We need your help.
Ash: Well, hell, then, guess I need my pants.
2.6 No Exit Quotes
Jo: Dean...it turns out my dad had a partner on his last hunt. Funny, he usually worked alone. This guy did, too. But I guess my father figured he could trust him - a mistake. Guy screwed up, got my dad killed.
Dean: What does this have to do-
Jo: It was your father, Dean.
Dean: That’s ectoplasm. Well, Sam, I think I know what we’re dealing with here. [beat] It’s the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.
Jo: So you gonna buy me dinner?
Dean: What are you talking about?
Jo: It’s just if you’re gonna ride me this close, it’s only decent you buy me dinner.
Dean: Oh, that’s hilarious.
Jo: You ripped off a cement truck?
Dean: I'll give it back.
Dean: Hunters don't tip that well.
Jo: well they ain't good at poker either.
Dean: Ah! Should have cleaned the pipes.
Jo: What?
Dean: Uh, the, um, pipes, they need cleaning.
Jo: [impatiently holds out a case file] Take it, it won't bite.
Dean: No, but your mom might.
Dean: Young girl got kidnapped by an evil cult.
Sam: Yeah, and does this girl have a name?
Dean: Katie Holmes.
2.7 The Usual Suspects Quotes
Dean: What do you think, Scully, want to check it out?
Sam: I'm not Scully, you're Scully.
Dean: No, I'm Mulder. You're a red-headed woman.
Dean: My name is Dean Winchester. I am an Aquarius. I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach, and frisky women. And I did not kill anyone.
Ballard: Unless... I just happened to turn my back, you walked away, I could tell them the suspects escaped.
Sam: Wait, are you sure?
Dean: Yes, she’s sure, Sam!
Krause: I'm with the public defenders office. I'm your lawyer.
Dean: Oh, thank God. I'm saved
Krause: Do you understand how serious these charges are?
Dean: I’m handcuffed to a table. Yeah, I get it. Humor me.
Sheridan: (talking about Dean)We can pin the whole thing on him. No trial, nothing, just one more dead scum bag.
Dean: Hey!
Sam: Anthony Gyles' body was found right about here. (reads) "Throat slit so deep, part of his spinal cord was visible."
Dean: (whistles) What do you think? Vengeful spirit, underline "vengeful"?
[Ballard comes in to Dean's interrogation room]
Dean: Can we make this quick? I'm a little tired. It's been a long day, you know, with your partner assaulting me and all.
Ballard: I wanna know more about that stuff you were talking about earlier.
Dean: Time Life. "Mysteries of the Unknown". Look it up.
Sheridan: You murdered them in cold blood just like that girl in St. Louis.
Dean: Oh, yeah, that wasn't me either. That was a shapeshifter creature that only looked like me.
2.8 Crossroad Blues Quotes
Sam: So much for a low profile. You've got a warrant in St. Louis, and now you're officially in the Feds' database.
Dean: Dude, I'm like Dillinger or something.
Sam: Dean, it's not funny. Makes the job harder. We've got to be more careful now.
Dean: Well, what have they got on you?
Sam: I'm sure they just...haven't posted it yet.
Dean: Wait - no accessory, nothing?
Sam: Shut up.
Dean: [laughs] You're jealous.
Sam: No, I'm not!
Dean: Uh-huh. All right, what have you got on the case there, you innocent, harmless young man, you?
Sam: Whatever they are, they're big, nasty...
Dean: Yeah, I bet they could hump the crap out of your leg. Look at that one, huh? [chuckles] What? They could!
Sam: So?
Dean: The secretary's name is Carly. She's 23, she kayaks, and they're real.
Sam: You didn't happen to ask her if she's seen any black dogs lately, did you?
Dean: Every complaint called in this week about everything big, black or dog-like. There's 19 calls in all. And I don't know what this thing is.
Sam: You mean Carly's MySpace address?
Dean: Yeah, MySpace. What the hell is that? [Sam laughs] Seriously, is that, like, some sort of porn site?
Dean: This house probably isn't up next on MTV Cribs, is it?
Sam: Yeah, so whatever kind of deal he made...
Dean: ...it wasn't for cash. Aw, who knows? Maybe his place is full of babes in Princess Leia bikinis.
Dean: So you know who I am.
Demon: I get the newsletter.
Dean: Shut your mouth, bitch.
[The Demon tries to convince Dean to sell his soul]
Dean: You think you could...throw in a set of steak knives?
[The Demon kisses Dean.]
Dean: What the hell was that for?
Demon: Sealing the deal.
Dean: You know, I usually like to be warned before I'm violated with demon tongue.
Dean: Why did he do it?
Sam: He did it for you.
Dean: Exactly. How am I supposed to live with that?
Sam: Hey Dean, when you were trapping that demon, you weren't...I mean, it was all a trick, right? You never actually considered making that deal, right?
Dean: [doesn't answer]
2.9Croatoan Quotes
Sam: Didn't you pay any attention in school?
Dean: Yeah. How bills become laws, the shot heard 'round the world...
Sam: That's not school! That's Schoolhouse Rock!
Dean: ....Whatever.
Dean: That was a little creepy, right? A little too Stepford?
Sam: Big time.
Dean: Well, you are a handsome devil, but I don't swing that way, sorry.
(Dean and the Sergeant are both pointing guns at one another) Sergeant: What's going on with everybody?
Dean: I don't know.Sergeant: My neighbor... Mr. Rodgers, h-
Dean: You've got a neighbor named Mr. Rodgers?
Sergeant: Not anymore.
(Dean and the Sergeant are both in the Impala, and are staring and pointing handguns at one another, both suspecting that the other is infected with the virus) Dean: Well this ought to be a relaxing drive.
Duane: Has anyone seen my mom and dad?
Dean: (has shot and killed both) Awkward.
Dean: Actually, we're not really marshals.
Doctor: [looks wearily from Sam to Dean] Okay.
Sam: This is the dumbest thing you've ever done.
Dean: I don't know about that. Remember that waitress in Tampa? (shudders)
Dean: Right before dad died, he told me something. He told me something about you.
Sam: What? Dean, what did he tell you?
Dean: I can't tell you. I promised.
2.10 Hunted Quotes
Dean: Real funky town. You ditched me Sammy!
Dean: (chuckles) This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.
Dean: Well, you son of a bitch.
Gordon: (slaps him) That's my momma you're talking about.
Dean: (seeing Sam through motel window) Thank God you’re okay. (sees Ava with Sam) Oh, you’re better than okay. Sam, you sly dog!
Sam: All right, so where to next, man?
Dean: One word, Amsterdam.
Sam: Dean!
Dean: Come on, man. I hear the coffee shops don’t even serve coffee
Gordon: What,.you think this is revenge?
Dean: Well we did leave you tied up in your own mess for three days. (snickers) Which was awesome. Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.
Dean: Come on, man, I know Sam, okay, better than anyone. He’s got more of a conscience than I do. The guy feels guilty surfing the Internet for porn.
Dean: Well, Gordon should be reaching for the soap for the next few years at least.
Dean: What’s the point of saving the world if you can’t get a little nookie once in a while, huh?
(cops pull up and arrest Gordon)
Sam: Anonymous tip.
Dean: You're a fine, upstanding citizen, Sam.
2.11 Playthings Quotes
Sam: You're bossy.
Dean: What?
Sam: You're bossy... and short. (laughs)
Dean: Are you drunk?
Sam: Yeah! So? ...stupid.
Susan: What the hell happened out there?
Dean: You want the truth?
Susan: Of course.
Dean: Well at first we thought it was some kind of hoodoo curse. But that out there, was definitely a spirit.
Susan: You're insane.
Dean: That's been said.
Susan: I don't believe this.
Dean: Listen, sister, that car didn't try to run you down by itself, okay? I mean I guess it did, technically, but if a spirit can... forget it.
Sam: This woman's had a stroke.
Dean: Yeah, but hoodoo's hands-on...
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: ...you gotta mix herbs, and chant, and build an altar.
Sam: So it can't be Rose. Heck, maybe it's not even hoodoo.
Dean: You know, she could be faking.
Sam: Yeah, what do you wanna do, poke her with a stick? (Dean nods) Dude, you are not gonna poke her with a stick!
Dean: (as Sam is leaning over the toilet) You know there's a really good hangover remedy, it's a greasy pork sandwich served up in a dirty ashtray.
Sam: (groaning) I hate you.
Dean: I know you do.
Dean: Wow! This is a lotta dolls. Er, they're nice, they're not super-creepy at all...
Dean: Hey, are those antique dolls? ‘Cause this one, this one here, he has a major doll collection back home. (grins at Sam) Don’t ya?
Sam: (reluctantly) Big time.
Dean: Big time. Yeah, you think he could come…well, we could come in and take a look?
Susan: I don’t know…
Dean: Please? Please, I mean he loves them. He’s not gonna tell you this, but he’s always dressing ‘em up in these little tiny outfits and I mean, you’d make his day. She would, huh?
Sam: (glaring at Dean) It’s true.
Dean: (to Sam) You get online, check old obits, freak accidents, that sort of thing. See if she’s whacked anybody before.
Sam: Right.
Dean: Don’t go surfing porn, that’s not the kind of whacking I mean.
Dean: Of course, the most troubling question is why do these people assume we're gay?
Sam: Well, you are kind of butch. They probably think you're overcompensating.
Dean: (uncomfortable chuckle) Right.
Susan: Let me guess. You guys are here antiquing?
Dean: How'd you know?
Susan: Oh, you just look the type. So, uh, a king-size bed?
Sam: What?! No, uh no, we're... Two singles. We're just brothers.
Susan: Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry.
Dean: What'd you mean that we look the type?
Dean: Dude, this is sweet! I never get to work jobs like this.
Sam: Like what?
Dean: Old-school haunted houses. Secret passageways, sissy British accents. We might even get to run into Fred and Daphne while we're inside. Mmm, Daphne...love her.
Dean: I just figured after Ava, there'd be more angst, more droopy music, and staring out the rainy windows (glare from Sam). Okay, I'll shut up now.
Sam: Look, I'm the one who told her to go back home. Now her fiance's dead and some demon's taken her off to God-knows-where. We've been looking for a month now. So I'm not giving up on her, but I'm not going to let other people die, either. We've gotta save as many people as we can.
Dean: Wow, that attitude is just way too healthy for me. I'm officially uncomfortable now. Thank you.
2.12 Nightshifter Quotes
Dean: I like him [the security guard], he says 'okey-dokey'.
Sam: What if he's the shifter?
Dean: We follow him home, put a silver bullet in his chest.
Dean: Freaking cops
Sam: They are just doing their job, dean
Dean: No they are doing our job, only they don't know it so they suck at it
Dean: Looks like Mr. Okey-dokey is... okey-dokey.
Hendrickson: I want Sam and you out here unarmed, or we come in. And, yes I know about Sam too -- Bonnie to your Clyde.
Dean: Yeah, well, that parts true, but how'd you even know we were here? Hendrickson: Go screw yourself. That's how I knew.
Dean: Are you nuts?
Ronald: That’s just it, I’m not nuts. I mean, I was so scared that I was losing my marbles, but this is real! I mean, I was right! Except for the mandroid thing, thank you.
Dean: Yeah, don’t mention it.
(Dean opens vault where hostages are being hidden)
Sherri: Oh my god! You saved us. You saved us!
Dean: Actually, I just found a few more. C'mon everybody, let's go, let's go. (pushes more hostages in)
Dean: Well, thanks, Frannie, I think that's all I need.
Frannie: Really? I mean, 'cause I've got more. You know, if you wanted to interview me some time, in private...?
Dean: Yeah... Yeah, I think that's a good idea. You're a true patriot, you really are. Why don't you write your number down there for me, that'd be good.
(a guy found a knife in deans shoe)
Dean: I'm not just gonna walk in here naked!
2.13 Houses of the Holy Quotes
Father Reynolds: So, you're interested in joining parish?
Dean: Yeah, well you know, we just don't feel right unless we hit church every Sunday.
Father Reynolds: So where'd you say you lived before?
Sam: Uh...
Dean: (interrupting) Freedmont, Texas.
Father Reynolds: Really? That's a nice town. St. Theresa's parish. You must know the priest there.
Dean: Sure, yeah... no, it's Father... O'Malley.
Father Reynolds: I know a Father Shaughnessy.
Dean: Shaughnessy. Exactly...what did I say?
Sam: You know, Gloria said the guy was guilty to the deepest foundation.
Dean: You think she literally meant the foundation?
Dean: Let me guess, now you wait for some divine bat signal?
Dean: I'll tell you who else had faith like that. Mom. She used to tell me when she tucked me in that angels were watching over us. In fact, that was the last thing she ever said to me.
Sam: You never told me that.
Dean: What's to tell? She was wrong. There was nothing protecting her.
Sam: Dean, what did you see?
Dean: I don't know, maybe... God's will.
Dean: What's next, you're going to start praying everyday?
Sam: I do pray.
Dean: What?
Sam: I do pray everyday, I have for a while.
Dean: Things you learn about a guy.
Dean: If Father Gregory's spirit is around, the seance will bring him right to us. If it's him, we'll put him to rest.
Sam: What if it's an angel? It won't show, nothing will happen.
Dean: Exactly. It's one of the perks of the job, Sam, we don't have to operate on faith. We can know for sure. Don't you want to know for sure?
Sam: Dude, all right, I'll admit, we've gone pretty ghetto with spellwork before, but this takes the cake! I mean, a Spongebob placemat instead of an altar cloth?!
Dean: We'll just put it Spongebob-side down.
Dean: Man, you have got to try this because there really is magic in the magic fingers.
Sam: Dude. You're enjoying that way too much. It's kinda making me uncomfortable.
Dean: What am I supposed to do? You got me on lockdown here. I'm bored out of my skull.
Sam: Hey, you were the bank robber on the 11 o'clock news, not me.
Sam: I don’t know, Dean, I just, uh, I wanted to believe so badly. It’s so damned hard to do this, what we do. All alone, you know. And…there’s so much evil out in the world, Dean, I feel like I could drown in it. And when I think about my destiny, when I think about how I could end up…
Dean: Yeah, well, don’t worry about that, all right? I’m watching out for you.
Sam: Yeah, I know you are. But you’re just one person, Dean. And I needed to think that there was something else watching too, you know? Some higher power, some greater good. And that maybe I…
Dean: Maybe what?
Sam: Maybe I could be saved.
Sam: It appeared before me and I just... this feeling washed over me. Like peace. Like grace.
Dean: Okay, ecstasy boy. Maybe we’ll get you some glow sticks and a nice Dr. Seuss hat.
Sam: She's living in a locked ward, and she's totally at peace.
Dean: Oh yeah, you're right. Sounds completely sane.
Dean: There's no higher power, there's no God. There's just chaos and violence, random unpredictable evil, that comes outta nowhere, rips you to shreds.
Dean: Well, I learned a valuable lesson. Always take down your Christmas decorations after New Years, or you might get fileted by hooker from God. HA!
(Sam enters the motel room, while Dean is sitting on the bed listening to the police radio)
Dean: Did you bring quarters?
Sam: Dude, I'm not enabling your sick habit. You're like one of those sick lab rats that pushes the pleasure button instead of the food button until it dies.
Dean: What are you talkin' about, I eat!
Dean: You know what, there's a ton of lore on unicorns too. In fact, I hear that they ride on silver moonbeams, and that they shoot rainbows out of their ass!
Sam: Wait. there's no such thing as unicorns?
Dean: That's cute.
2.14 Born Under a Bad Sign Quotes
Sam: (demon had just left Sam's body): Did I miss anything?
Dean:Sam...(punches him)
Dean: You OK? [Sam doesn't answer] Sam? That you in there?
Sam: Dean, back from the dead. Getting to be a regular thing for you, isn't it? Like a cockroach.
Dean: How bout I smack that smartass right out of your mouth?
Sam: Oh, careful now...wouldn't want to bruise this fine packaging.
Sam: No matter what I did, you wouldn't shoot.
Dean: It was the right move, Sam. It wasn't you.
Sam: Yeah, this time. What about next time?
Dean: Sam, when Dad told me I might have to kill you, it was only if I couldn't save you. Now, if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to save you.
Dean: [starts to laugh]
Sam: What?
Dean: [continues to laugh] Nothing.
Sam: Dean! What!?
Dean: Dude, you full on had a girl up inside of you for like a week. [both laugh] That's pretty naughty.
Dean: This guy? (to Sam) You were drinking malt liquor?
Clerk: Not after he whipped the bottle at my friggin’ head!
Dean: This guy?
Clerk: What, am I speaking Urdu?
Sam: I don’t wanna hurt anyone else. I don’t wanna hurt you.
Dean: You won't. Whatever this is, you can fight it.
Sam: I can’t. Not forever.
Manager: It’s past checkout and I’ve got a couple here who needs a room.
Dean: (looks at hooker and customer in hall) Yeah, I bet they do.
Bobby: Here, take these.
Sam: What are they?
Bobby: Charms. They'll fend off possession. That demon's still out there. This'll stop it from getting back up in ya. Dean: That sounds vaguely dirty, but er, thanks.
Sam: You know when people wanna describe the worst possible thing? They say it's like hell. (punches Dean) Well, there's a reason for that. Hell is like, ah... (punch) Well, it's like hell. Even for demons. (punch) It's a prison made of bone, and flesh and blood and fear. (punch) And you sent me back there.
Dean: Meg.
Sam: No. Not any more. Now I'm Sam. (punch) By the way, saw your Dad there, he says "Howdy.
(referring to an old, beat-up car) Dean: Oh please tell me you didn't steal this
Dean: Feel like talking now?
Sam: Sam's still my meat-puppet, I'll make him bite off his tongue.
Dean: I'll call you later.
(Dean leaves)
Jo: No, you won't.
Dean: (talking on the phone) Hi, so sorry to bother you but, my son snuck out of the house last night and went to a Justin Timberlake concert.. What?.. uhhh yeah.. Justin's quite the triple threat.
Dean: What's going on with you Sam? hmmm? Smokin... throwin' bottles at people... sounds more like me than you.
Dean: Okay.. now this is disturbing. (lifts up carton of cigarettes, Sam stares in shock) C'mon, man, this couldn't have been you, it had to be someone else, someone who.. uhh.. (smells cigarettes) ...smokes menthols.
Dean: You never told me this.
Sam: I didn’t want to scare you.
Dean: Well, bang up job on that
Dean: The room's been quiet, nobody's noticed anything unusual.
Sam: You mean no one saw me walking around covered in blood.
Dean: Mmm-yeah, that's what I mean.
Dean: (to Sam) You checked in two days ago under the name Richard Sambora. I think the scariest part about this whole thing is that you're a Bon Jovi fan
Dean: (holding gun) You know, I've tried so hard to keep you safe.
Sam: I know.
Dean: I can't. I'd rather die. (Puts down gun)
Sam: No. No, Dean, you'll live. (picks up gun) You'll live to regret this. (knocks him unconscious)
2.15 Tall Tales Quotes
Sam: (yelling) Your dirty socks in the sink! Your food in the fridge!
Dean: What's wrong with my food?
Sam: It's not food anymore, Dean! It's Darwinism!
Dean: I like it..
Curtis: They did tests on me then uh.. (drinks shot) they probed me
Dean: They probed you?
Curtis: Yeah, they probed me... again and again and again and... (drinks shot again) ...and again and again and again and then one more time.
Dean: Yikes
Curtis: That's not even the worst of it.
Dean: How can it get and worse, i mean, Some alien made you his bitch?
(long pause)
Curtis: They... they made me slow dance...
Dean: You wanna try one of those Purple Nurples!
Sam: Look, Dean, um, I just wanna say, that I'm, um...
Dean: Hey... me too.
Bobby: You guys are breaking my heart. Can we please just leave?!
Sam: How would you feel if I screwed with the Impala?
Dean: It's be the last thing you ever did.
Sam: Dude... were you on my computer?
Dean: Uh...no...
Sam: Oh really? Cuz it's frozen now, on bustyasianbeauties.com?
Sam: You know something? I've put up with a lot from you!
Dean: What are you talking about? I'm a joy to be around!
Dean: These punishments, they’re almost poetic. Well, actually they’d be more like a limerick, but still…
Dean: Look man, I gotta tell you, I dig your style, you know. I mean, I do. I mean… phew! And the slow dancing alien...
Trickster: One of my personal favorites.
Sam:Dude you mind not eating those on my bed?
Dean:No, I don't mind.
Sam: There was this guy. He was a research scientist. Animal testing.
Dean: Ya, you know, a dick. Which fits the pattern.
Bobby: If you two had bothered to pull your heads out of your asses, it all would’ve been pretty clear.
Dean: What?
Bobby: What you’re dealing with.
Dean: I got nothing.
Sam: Me neither.
Bobby: You got a trickster on your hands.
Dean: That’s what I thought!
Sam: No you didn't!!
Janitor: Sorry I’m dragging a little ass today, boys. Had quite the night last night. Lots of sex, if you catch my drift.
Dean: Yeah, hard not to
(Dean continues on telling his version of the story)
Sam: So you and this guy, Curtis, you were in the same house?
Frat Guy: Yeah.
Dean: You heard of what happened to him right?
Frat Guy: Yeah, he said it was aliens... but you know, whatever.
Sam: Look man, I know this all has to be so hard...
Frat Guy: Not so much.
Sam: But I want you to know...I'm here for you. (pause) You brave little soldier. I acknowledge your pain. Come here. (hugs him) Too precious for this world.
(cuts back to actual time)
Sam: I never said that!
Dean: You're always saying pansy stuff like that.
Starla: My God, you are attractive!
Dean: Thanks. But no time for that now. You need to tell me about this urban legend. Please? Lives are at stake.
Starla: Sorry, I can't even concentrate. It's like staring into the sun
Bobby: You're bickering like an old married couple.
Dean: No, see, married couples can get divorced. Me and him? We're like, Siamese twins,
Sam: It's conjoined twins.
Dean: See what I mean?
Sam: Maybe we should get some help. I'll call Bobby, maybe he's run into something like this before.
Dean: Oh, I'm sure he has. Just your typical haunted campus, alien abduction, alligator in the sewer gig. Yeah, simple.
Sam: I'm telling you, Dean, this is made by some kind of jet engine.
Dean: Oh... what do you mean? Like some saucer-shaped jet engine?
Sam: Well, what else can it be?
Dean: What the hell?!
Sam: I don't know.
Dean: Well seriously dude, what the hell?!
Sam: (yells) I don't know!! I mean first The Haunting, now this? The timing alone. There's gotta be some sort of connection here.
Dean: What? You mean between the angry spirit and uh... the sexed up ET? What could the connection possibly be?
Dean: Woah, woah, woah, woah... hold on a minute!!
Sam: What?
Dean: C'mon dude, that's not how it happened!
Sam: No? So you never drank a purple nurple?
Dean: Yeah maybe that, but I don't say things like "fiesty little wildcat" and her name wasn't Starla.
Sam: Then what was it?
Dean: (pauses) I don't know... but she was a classy chick. She was a grad student. Anthropology and folklore. We were talking about ghost stories
2.16 Roadkill Quotes
Dean: Follow the creepy brick road.
Dean: You know, just once I would like to round the corner and see a nice house.
Dean: It smells like old lady in here.
Sam: It's an old country custom, Dean, planting a tree as a grave marker.
Dean: [Pauses] You are like a walking encyclopedia of weirdness.
Sam: Yeah, I know.
Molly: Oh, thank God!
Dean: Call me Dean.
Dean: [to Molly] Sam's always getting a little J. Love Hewitt when it comes to things like this.
Dean: Alright, Haley Joel, let's hit the road.
Sam: Now you can walk in there, and we're not gonna stop you.
Dean: Yeah, but you are gonna freak him right out.. for life.
Dean: Did he look like he lost a fight with a lawnmower?
Molly: Yeah, how'd you know?
Dean: Lucky guess.
Sam: It wasn't a coincidence that we found you, all right.
Molly: What are you talking about?
Dean: We weren't out here cruisin' for chicks when we ran into you, sister, we were already out here... hunting.
Molly: Hunting for what?
Dean: (pauses) Ghosts.
Sam: (sarcastically) Don't sugarcoat it for her.
Dean: I guess she wasn't so bad. For a ghost. You think she's really going to a better place?
Sam: I hope so.
Dean: I guess we'll never know. Not until we take the plunge ourselves, huh?
Sam: It doesn't really matter, Dean. Hope's kind of the whole point.
Dean: Well all right, Haley Joel
Molly: I don't understand how a guy like this can turn into that monster.
Sam: Well, spirits like Greely are like wounded animals. Lost... in so much pain that they lash out.
Molly: Why? Why are they here?
Sam: There's some part of them that... that's keeping them here. Like their remains, or unfinished business.
Molly: Unfinished business?
Sam: Yeah. It could be revenge. It could be love, or hate. Whatever it is, they just hold on too tight. Can't let go. So they're trapped. Caught in the same loops. Replaying the same tragedies over and over.
Molly: You sound almost sorry for them.
Sam: Well, they weren't evil people, you know. A lot of them were good, just something happened to them. Something they couldn't control.
Dean: Sammy's always gettin' a little J. Love Hewitt when it comes to this. Me, I don't like 'em. And I'm sure as hell ain't makin' apologies for 'em
2.17 Heart Quotes
Dean: And the lunar cycles?
Sam: Uh-huh. Month after month all the murders occur in the weeks leading up to the full moon.
Dean: Which is this week, right?
Sam: Hence the lawyer.
Dean: Awesome.
Sam: Dean, could you be a bigger geek about this?
Dean: I'm sorry man, but what about a human by day, a freak animal killing machine by night don't you understand? I mean, werewolves are badass. We haven't seen one since we were kids.
Sam: Okay, Sparky. And you know what? After we kill it, we can go to Disneyland!
[The Brothers are checking Madison's boyfriend's apartment]
Sam: Anything?
Dean: Nah, nothing but leftovers and a six-pack.
Sam: Check the freezer. Maybe there's some human hearts behind the Haagen Daz or something.
Sam: (answers his cell) Hey.
Dean: I found him.
Sam: Good, don't keep your eyes off him.
Dean: (looks at stripper) Oh, my eyes are glued. Look Sammy I gotta let 'cha go I uh (clears throat) I don't wanna miss anything. (gives the stripper a dollar and hangs up his cell)
Sam: Maybe she doesn't really know she's changing. You know maybe, maybe when the creature takes over she blacks out.
Dean: Like a really hot Incredible Hulk?
Dean: Sammy, I don't think we got a choice here any more.
Sam: What?
Dean: I hate to say it, she's a sweet girl, but part of her is...
Sam: Evil?
Dean: Yeah.
Sam: Yeah, that's what they say about me, Dean. So me you won't kill but her you're just gonna blow away.
Sam: Find anything?
Dean: (looking in the fridge) Just some leftovers and a six pack.
Sam: Check the freezer. Maybe there's some human hearts hidden behind the Häagen-Dazs or something
Dean: One of us should probably stay here with you just in case he stops by.
(Madison leaves the room)
Sam: All right, you go, I'll stay.
Dean: Forget that. You go after the creepy ex, I'm gonna hang here with the hot chick.
Sam: Dude. Why do you always get to hang out with the girls?
Dean: Because I'm older.
Sam: No, screw that. We settle this the old-fashioned way.
(Sam and Dean play Rock, Paper, Scissors. Sam does rock, Dean does scissors)
Sam: Dean, always with the scissors. (pats Dean on the shoulder and makes a pouty face)
Dean: Shut up, shut up! Two outta three!
(Sam sighs and does rock again and Dean does scissors again; Sam covers Dean's hand with rock)
Dean: Gah!
Sam: Bundle up out there, all right? (pushes Dean out
Dean: So I'm just gonna... head back to the hotel...watch some pay-per-view... or somethin'. (leaves while putting his fist in the air)
Madison: That was smooth.
Dean: (to Madison) How you doin'? My head feels great. Thanks
Dean: Let me guess. You're sitting on her couch like a stiff trying to think of something to say
2.18 Hollywood Babylon Quotes
Dean: Come to the coast. We'll have a few drinks. Have a few laughs.
Sam: They're saying the set's haunted.
Dean: Like 'Poltergeist'?
Sam: It could be a poltergeist.
Dean: No, no, the movie 'Poltergeist'... You know nothing of your cultural heritage, do you?
Dean: This map is totally worth the five bucks. Hey, we gotta check out Joey Ramone grave when we're done here.
Sam: You wanna dig him up too?
Dean: Bite your tongue, heathen...Hey that's cool.
Dean: Oh, like Poltergeist?
Sam: It could be a poltergeist.
Dean: No, no, no. Like the movie, Poltergeist. (Sam looks confused) You know nothing of your cultural heritage, do you?
Brad: Uh, excuse me, green-shirt guy? Yeah, yeah, you, come here. Could you get me a smoothie from craft?
Dean: You want a what from who?
Sam: So what do you think?
Dean: Well, I think being a PA sucks, but the food these people get? Are you kidding me? I mean, look at these things, they’re like miniature philly cheese steak sandwiches, they’re delicious! (offers one to Sam, who looks grossed out)
Sam: Maybe later.
Sam: How’s it going in here?
Dean: It’s going really good, man. Tara has really stepped up her performance. I think it’s probably from all the sense memory stuff she’s drawing on.
Sam: Sense memory?
Dean: Yeah.
Sam: Dean, you know when I ask how it’s going here I’m talking about the case, right? We don’t really work here
Dean: Sam, check it out, it's Matt Damon.
Sam: Yeah, pretty sure that's not Matt Damon.
Dean: No, it is.
Sam: Well Matt Damon just picked up a broom and started sweeping
Martin: I cannot believe there's an afterlife.
Dean: There's an afterlife all right. But mostly it's a pain in the ass.
Walter: You two can leave, but Martin's gotta stay.
Dean: Sorry, can't do that. It's not that we like him or anything, it's a matter of principle
(Sam and Dean stop the fan)
Mark: You are one hell of a P.A.!
Dean: (smugly) I know!
Dean: What's a PA?
Sam: I think they're kinda like slaves.
2.19 Folsom Prison Blues Quotes
Sam: (asking about Mark Moody, the guy Dean consider to be the ghost) You're sure it's him?
Dean: Pretty sure.
Sam: Considering our circumstances I'm gonna need a little bit better than 'pretty sure'.
Dean: Really pretty sure.
Dean: (lining for noodles) I'd like mine al dente.
Dean: I said I'd like a baseball. You know, like Steve McQueen.
Lucas: Yeah? Well, I wish I had a bat so to bash your freaking head in.
Dean: Yeah. That's so much for a binding solitary moment
Dean: (after winning a poker game and collecting the won cigarettes) It's like picking low hanging fruits.
Sam: You don't even smoke.
Dean: You're kidding me? It's the currency of the realm.
Dean: How do we get in?
Sam: I got a plan.
Dean: That's the Sammy I know. Come on, man, you are like Clint Eastwood from 'Escape from Alcatraz'.
Sam: The problem is even if we do find something, how are we gonna burn it? We don't have any accelerator.
Dean: It's good thing I'm like James Garner from 'The Great Escape'. (continues collecting the cigarettes)
Dean: Save room for dessert, Tiny, hehe. Hey, I'd wanna ask you, 'cos I couldn't not notice you are two tones of fun. Just curious, is this like thyroid problem or is this some deep self-esteem issue? 'Cause you know, they're just donuts, they're not love.
Dean: (receiving letter from the lawyer) Would you look at that? I'm freaking velvety smooth.
Sam: You may wanna be open it up after, you know, you're done slapping yourself on the back?
Dean: (after finding Impala outside the prison) Oh man, you're a sight for sore eyes.
Sam: I thought we were screwed before.
Dean: Yeah, yeah, I know, we gotta go deep this time.
Sam: Deep? Dean, we should go to Yemen!
Dean: I'm not sure I'm ready to go that deep.
Dean: (to provoke Tiny) I wanted to ask you, because I couldn't help but notice that you are two tons of fun, just curious: is that, like, a thyroid problem, or is it some deep-seated self-esteem issue? 'Cause, you know. They're just donuts. Not love
Dean has just told Tiny he provoked him)
Tiny: It's okay. My dad treated my brother and me like crap, right up until the day he died.
Dean: How'd he die?
Tiny: My brother shot him
Dean: You know this chicken ain't half bad.
Sam: Great, finish mine.
Henricksen: I’d say for you two screwed to hell is a major understatement.
Dean: Well where there is life there is hope.
Henricksen: See, that’s what I kept thinking as I was searching for your asses all over hell and gone
Mara: Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in here?
Dean: I've got a vague notion.
Dean: I mean come on man, this place has all the signs of a haunting. Innocent people are dead, four so far.
Sam: (laughs) Yeah, innocent?
Dean: What, are you from Texas all of a sudden?
Sam: I hate this plan, Dean.
Dean: Yeah, I got that the first ten times I heard it.
Sam: (about being in jail) Dean, this is without a doubt the dumbest, craziest thing we've ever done. And that's in a long storied career of dumb and crazy.
Dean: Calm down. It's all part of the plan.
Sam: So Hendrickson showing up was part of the plan?
Dean: Yeah, the guy moves a little faster than I thought. All we gotta do is find the ghost, put the sucker down, and then grab ourselves a couple of those tear drop tattoos
Dean: My roommate didn't say much, how's yours?
Sam: Just keeps staring at me... in a way that makes me really uneasy.
Dean: Sounds like you're making new friends.
Sam: Thought we were screwed before.
Dean: Yeah yeah, I know. We gotta go deep this time.
Sam: "Deep"? Dean. We should go to Yemen.
Dean: Ooh, I'm not sure I'm ready to go that deep
Dean: Don't worry, Sam. I promise I won't trade you for smokes
Sam: You heard it on the yard?
Dean: Yeah.
Sam: Dean, does it bother you at all how easily you seem to fit in here?
Dean: No, not really.
(Dean and Lucas are in solitary)
Lucas: I wish I had a bat, so I could bash your friggin' head in.
Dean: Well, so much for the bonding-in-solitary moment.
Henricksen: You think you're funny?
Dean: I think I'm adorable
2.20 What is and What Should Never Be Quotes
(Sam has just told Dean they don't get along)
Dean: We don't? Well, we should. You're my brother.
Sam: You're my brother.
Dean: Yeah!
Sam: You know, that's what you said when you snaked my ATM card, or when you bailed on my graduation, or when you hooked up with Rachel Nayv.
Dean: Who?
Sam: Uh, my prom date. On prom night.
Dean: (under his breath) Yeah, that does kinda sound like me.
(Dean stabs himself and is instantly released from the Djinn's fantasy)
Sam: Dean! Dean. Oh, God. Come on. Hey, wake up. Wake up, damn it.
(Dean moans)
Sam: Hey, hey.
Dean: Oh, Auntie Em. There’s no place like home.
Sam: Thank God. I thought I lost you for a second
Dean: You almost did.
Dean: But it's not real. None of it is.
Mary: It's still better than anything you ever had.
Dean: (to John’s grave) ‘Course, I know what you’d say... well, not the you that played softball, but...
Sam: Look, whatever stupid thing you’re about to do, you’re not doing it alone and that’s that.
Dean: I don’t understand, why are you doing this?
Sam: Because you’re still my brother
Dean: Ever since Dad... all I can think about is how much this job has cost us. We’ve lost so much; we’ve sacrificed so much...
Sam: But people are alive because of you. It’s worth it, Dean. It is. It’s not fair, and y’know it hurts like hell, but it’s worth it.
Dean: You had Jess. Mom was gonna have grandkids...
Sam: Yeah, but Dean, it wasn't real.
Dean: I know. But I wanted to stay
Sam: What's in the bag?
Dean: Nothing.
Sam: Nothing?
Dean: Yeah! Nothing!
Sam: Fine! (reaches for the bag and pulls something out)
Dean: You don't want to do that!
Sam: Oh really? (sees the blood jar) What the hell is this?!
Dean: Blood.
Sam: Yeah I can see that it's blood, Dean, but what the hell is it doing in here?!
Dean: You don't really want to know
Sam: You're having some kind of psychotic breakdown.
Dean: I wish.
Professor: Son? You been drinking?
Dean: Everybody keeps asking me that. But, uh, no
Dean: See? Nothing to worry about.
Sam: Yeah, being fugitives is a freakin' dance party.
Dean: What can I say, chicks dig the danger vibe.
Dean: My god, Barbara Eden was hot, wasn’t she? And way hotter than that Bewitched chick.
Sam: Are you even listening to me?
Dean: (clears throat) Yeah.
Dean: The Djinn, it attacked me.
Sam: The gin, you were drinking gin?
Dean: No, ass-hat, the Djinn, the scary creature, remember?
Carmen: What do you say later we get you a cheeseburger?
Dean: Oh god yes. How’d I end up with such a cool chick?
Carmen: I just got low standards
Dean: I'm dating a nurse? That is so... respectable!
Sam: I thought it was supposed to be this perfect fantasy.
Dean: It wasn't. It was just a wish. I wished for Mom to live. Mom never died, we never went hunting and you and me just never... ya know.
Sam: Yeah. Well, I'm glad we do
Sam: (to Dean, about to stab himself with knife.) Look, this isn't a dream, all right. I'm here with you, now, and you are about to kill yourself, Dean.
Dean: No, I'm pretty sure. Like, 90 percent sure. But I'm sure enough.
Dean: Sam, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we don't get along. I wish to hell I could stay to fix this. But I gotta do this. People's lives depend on it.
Sam: Dean, what're you talking about?
Dean: Nothing. Forget it. Hey, just tell Mom I love her. I'll see you, Sammy.
(Dean leaves the house)
Dean: (staring down at John's tombstone) All of 'em. Everyone you saved, everyone Sammy and I saved. They're all dead. And there's this woman... haunting me. I don't know why. I don't know what the connection is, not yet anyway. It's like my old life is like, coming after me or something. Like it doesn't want me to be happy.
'Course I know what you'd say... Well, not that you'd of played softball, but... You'd say, "Go hunt the djin. It put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness over all those people's lives? No contest." Right? But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? Mom's not supposed to live her life? Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? It's... (pause) ...yeah.
Carmen: What's gotten into you lately?
Dean: This isn't gonna make a lick of sense to you. But I feel like I've been given a second chance
Sam: You know, I'm not asking you to change. I don't know. I guess we just don't really have anything in common, ya know.
Dean: Wait, whoa whoa whoa. Yes we do, Yes we do.
Sam: What?
Dean: Hunting.
Sam: Hunting? I've never been hunting in my life, Dean.
Dean: Yeah, well, then we should go sometime. I think you'd be great at it.
Dean: (looking out the window) That lawn looks like it could use some mowing.
Mary: You want to mow the lawn?
Dean: Are you kidding me, I'd love to mow the lawn.
Mary: Knock yourself out. You'd think you've never mowed a lawn in your life
Dean: Let me ask you a question. When you put me into bed when I was little, what did you always tell me?
Mary: Dean, I don't understand.
Dean: Just answer the question!
Mary: I told you angels were watching over you.
Dean: I don't believe it
Dean: Bitch.
Sam: What're you calling me a bitch for?
Dean: You're supposed to say "jerk."
Sam: What?
Dean: Never mind.
2.21 All Hell Breaks Loose I Quotes
Dean: (just had a vision) That was about as fun as getting kicked in the jewels.
Dean: Don't forget the extra onions this time!
Sam: Dude, I'm the one who's gonna have to ride in the car with your extra onions.
Dean: Hey, see if they've got any pie. Bring me some pie. I love me some pie.
Dean: (to Sam as he's dying, seeing the wound)Hey, hey, look at me. It's not even that bad. It's not even that bad, alright? Sammy? Sam! Hey, listen to me, we're going to patch you up, okay? You'll be as good as new. I'm gonna take care of you, okay? I'm going to take care of you; I've got you, because that's my job, right? Watching after my pain in the ass little brother. (realizes Sam is already gone) Sam? Sam? Sam?! Sammy! No. No, no, no, no. Oh god. (pulls Sam's body against his ) Oh god. (pause, then shouts) SAM!
2.22 All Hell Breaks Loose II Quotes
Female Demon: Then no deal.
Dean: Fine.
Female Demon: Fine. Make sure you bury Sam before he starts stinking up the joint
Sam: (about the demon being dead) I kinda can't believe it, Dean. I mean our whole lives, everything has been prepping for this and now I... I kinda don't know what to say.
Dean: I do. (he kneels over the demon's body) That was for our mom, you son of a bitch
Dean: Stop, Sam, stop! Damn it. ‘Kay, you almost died in there. What would I have… can’t you just take care of yourself for a little bit? Huh, just a little bit?
Sam: I’m sorry, no.
Dean: (to Sam’s body) When you were little, couldn't have been more than five, you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom. Why did we always have to move around. Where'd Dad go?. He'd disappear for days at a time. I remember beggin' you, 'Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know.' I just wanted you to be a kid. Just for a little while longer. Always tried to protect you. Keep you safe. Dad didn't even have to tell me. It's just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job. I had one job, and I screwed it up. I blew it, and for that, I'm sorry. I guess that’s what I do. I let down the people I love. Y’know, I let Dad down, and now I guess I’m just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy? What am I supposed to do? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!!
Dean: Dad brought me back, Bobby, I’m not even supposed to be here. At least this way something good can come out of it, y’know, it’s like my life can mean something.
Bobby: What? And it didn’t before? Have you got that low an opinion of yourself? Are you that screwed in the head?
Dean: Don’t get mad at me. Don’t you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you. That’s my job!
Sam: And what do you think my job is?
Dean: What?
Sam: You save my life, over and over. I mean, you sacrifice everything for me, don’t you think I’d do the same thing for you? You’re my big brother. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I don’t care what it takes, I’m gonna get you out of this. I guess I gotta save your ass for a change
Dean: Ellen what happened, how’d you get out?
Ellen: I wasn’t supposed to; I was supposed to be in there with everybody else. But we ran out of pretzels, of all things. It was just dumb luck.
Dean: What do I have to do?
Female Demon: First of all, quit groveling. Needy guys are such a turn-off
Bobby: I could throttle you.
Dean: What? And send me downstairs ahead of schedule?
Ellen: Well, the Yellow-Eyed Demon might be dead, but a lot more got through that gate.
Dean: How many you think?
Sam: A hundred, maybe two hundred. It's an army... he's unleashed an army.
Bobby: Hope to hell you boys are ready. Cause the war has just begun.
Bobby: Something big is going down. End of the world big.
Dean: Well, then justlet it end!
Bobby: You don't mean that.
Dean: You don't think so? You don't think I've given enough? You don't think I've paid enough? I'm done with it. All of it. If you know what's good for you, you'll turn around and get the hell out of here.
Dean: (to the Yellow-Eyed Demon's corpse) Well, check that off the to-do list.
Dean: We got work to do!
Sam: Dean, did I die? (Dean looks away) Did you sell your soul for me, like Dad did for you?
Dean: (still not looking at Sam) Oh, come on, no!
Sam: How long'd you get?
Dean: (pauses, giving in and looking up at Sam) One year. I got one year.
Season THREE
3.1 The Magnificent Seven
Dean: What do you want?
Envy: We already have what we want.
Dean: What’s that?
Envy: We’re out, we’re free. Thanks to you, my kind are everywhere
Dean: You look like hell warmed over.
Bobby: You try exorcising all night, see how you feel.
Sam: Any survivors, Bobby?
Bobby: Well, the pretty girl and the heavy guy, they’ll make it. A lifetime of therapy bills ahead, but still…
Sam: You’re a hypocrite, Dean. How did you feel when Dad sold his soul for you? ‘Cause I was there. I remember. You were twisted and broken. And now you go and do the same thing… to me. What you did was selfish.
Dean: Yeah. You’re right. Was selfish. But I’m okay with that.
Sam: I’m not.
Dean: Tough. After everything I’ve done for this family, I think I’m entitled.
Dean: I got a year to live, Sam. I’d like to make the most of it. So what do you say we kill some evil sons of ******* and we raise a little hell, huh?
Sam: You’re unbelievable.
Dean: Very true.
Dean: I'm just gonna ask it again... who was that masked chick? Actually, the more troubling question would be, "How come a girl can fight better than you?"
Sam: Three demons, Dean... at once.
Dean: Hey, whatever it takes to get you through the night, pal
Dean: I suppose you are Lust.
Lust: Baby, I'm whatever you want me to be.
Dean: Yeah, hell right. Just stay back.
Lust: Or what?
Dean: Good point.
Bobby: Did you boys find anything around here?
Sam: No sulfur, nothing.
Dean: Well, maybe something. (points to video camera) See? I'm working.
Bobby: Do you have any idea who we're up against?
Dean: No, who?
Bobby: The Seven Deadly Sins, live and in the flesh.
Dean: (laughs) "What's in the box?" (silence) Brad Pitt... Se7en ...no? (shuts up as Sam hits him with the Bible)
Dean: I don't know. It's like there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
Sam: That's hellfire, Dean.
Dean: Whatever.
Sam: I've been bending over backwards trying to be nice to you, and I don't care anymore.
Dean: That didn't last long
Sam: It's suicide, Dean!
Dean: So what? I'm dead already
Sam: Dean, what're you doing?
Dean: Comforting the bereaved. What're you doing?
Sam: Workin'. Dead body, possible demon attack, that kinda stuff.
Dean: (fake coughing) Sam, I'm sorry. It's just, I don't have much time left. And, uh... (more coughing) ...gotta make every second count
Bobby: So, we're eating bacon cheeseburgers for breakfast, are we?
Dean: Well, sold my soul. Got a year to live. I ain't sweatin' the cholesterol.
Sam: Let me see your knife.
Dean: What for?
Sam: So I can gouge my eyes out.
(Dean laughs)
Dean: It was a beautiful, natural act, Sam.
Sam: That's a part of you I never wanted to see, Dean.
3.2 The Kids are Alright
Dean: (points to large kid with Ben's game) Is that Humphrey? The one that needs to lay off the burgers?
(about the moon-bounce)
Ben: You know who else thinks they're awesome? Chicks! It's like hot-chick city out there!
Dean: What? Someone had to teach him to kick a bully in the nads
Sam: How many dying wishes are you going to get?
Dean: As many as I can squeeze out.
Dean: Y’know how I never mentioned my job? This is my job.
Lisa: I so didn’t want to know that.
Sam: So let me get this straight. You want to drive all the way to Cicero just to hook up with some random chick?
Dean: She was a yoga teacher. That was the bendiest weekend of my life!
Sam: (trying to cover up his phone call) Oh, I was just ordering pizza.
Dean: Dude, you do realize that you’re in a restaurant?
Sam: Yeah! Oh, yeah, yeah... (lamely) I just felt like pizza, y’know?
Dean: Okay... Weirdy McWeirderton.
Dean: Come on, smile, Sam. God knows I'm going to be smiling after 24 hours with Gumby girl. (chuckles) Gumby Girl... does that make me Pokey?
Dean: Hey. So, I, uh, met Ben. Cool kid.
Lisa: Yeah.
Dean: You know, I couldn't help but notice that, uh, he's turning 8. You and me... you know.
Lisa: You're not trying to ask me if he's yours?
Dean: No. No, of course not. He's not, is he?
Lisa: What? No.
Dean: Right.
Lisa: Ben may not be your kid, but he wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you. That's a lot, if you ask me.
Dean: You know, just for the record, you got a great kid. I would have been proud to be his dad.
Dean: We'll just drag the kids, lay them out, torch them in the front lawn. That'll play great with the neighbors.
3.3 Bad Day at Black Rock
(Bela flirts with Sam)
Dean: Dude, if you are ever gonna get lucky...
Sam: Shut up.
Dean shows Sam a sheaf of lottery scratcher tickets)
Sam: Dean, c'mon.
Dean: What? Hey, that was my gun he was aiming at your head. My gun don't jam, so that was a lucky break. Not to mention them taking themselves out, also a lucky break. (holds a scratcher out to Sam) Here, scratch one. C'mon, Sam. Scratch and win!
Sam: (scratching) Dean, it's gotta be cursed somehow. Otherwise, Dad wouldn't have locked it up.
(Dean grabs the ticket and checks it out)
Dean: $1,200. You just won $1,200. Ha ha! Whooo! I dunno, man, it doesn't seem that cursed to me. (whips out another ticket for Sam to scratch)
Dean telling Bobby on the phone that Sam lost the rabbit's foot)
Dean: Bobby listen listen... this ehh... hot chick stole it from him. I'm serious... in her mid 20s... she was sharp you know good enough with the con to play us... and she only gave the guys she hired a name probably an alias something.... Luigi or something.
(Dean looks at Sam with a confused look)
Sam: Lugosi.
Dean: Lugosi.
Bobby: Lugosi??... Lugo.... oh crap.. it's probably Bela.
Dean: Bela Lugosi?? (sarcastically) Oh that's cute.
Sam: Dean...
Dean: Hey, back off, jinx. I’m bringing home the bacon.
Dean: Anyhoo, this has been charming, but uh, look at the time. Oh and this... (pulls out rabbit's foot) ...looks like you're not the only one with sticky fingers. If it's any consolation, I think you're a truly awful person. (Bela shoots at Dean) See you.
Dean: So, you know the truth, about what's really going on out there, and this is what you decide to do with it? You become a thief?
Bela: I procure unique items for a select clientèle.
Dean: Yeah, a thief.
Bela: No, a great thief
Dean: Oh, wow! It’s my first sawed-off. I made it myself. Sixth grade.
Dean: So you’re only out for yourself, huh? It’s all about number one?
Bela: Being a hunter is so much more noble? A bunch of obsessed, revenge driven sociopaths trying to save a world that can’t be saved?
Dean: Well, aren’t you a glass half-full?
Dean: What the hell is wrong with you? You don’t just go around shooting people like that!
Bela: Relax, it’s a shoulder hit. I can aim. Besides, who here hasn’t shot a few people?
Bela: (after burning the foot) Thanks very much. I'm out of one and a half million and on the bad side of a very powerful, fairly psychotic buyer.
Dean: Wow, I really don't feel bad about that. Sam?
Sam: Nope, not even a little.
Dean: But you see, there's something about me that you don't know...
Kubrick: Yeah, what would that be?
Dean: It's my lucky day
Bela: You can have the foot... for 1.5 million.
Dean: Nice. I'll just call my banker.
(Dean leads Sam into a hotel room)
Sam: What am I even supposed to do, Dean?
Dean: Nothing, nothing! Come here. I don't want you doing anything! I want you to sit right here and don't move! Okay? Don't turn on the light, don't turn off the light, don't even scratch your nose!
(Dean leave, sam scratches his nose very carefully)
Dean: You're not gonna shoot anybody. See, I happen to be able to read people. And sure you're a thief, fine, but you're not gonna... (Bela shoots Sam)
Dean: (to Sam) She knows what your weakness is. It's me!
Bobby: (to Dean) Watch out for your brother, you idjit.
Dean: What?
Sam: I lost my shoe
Kubrick: (to his companion) It's God. He sent us here to do this. It's destiny. (points gun at Sam, tied up in chair)
Dean: Nope. No destiny. Just a rabbit's foot.
Dean: (after knocking out the robbers) That was a lucky break. (gesturing to object in Sam's hand) Is that a rabbit's foot?
Sam: I think it is.
Dean: Huh
Dean: (reading from trophy) 1995.
Sam: No way. That's my Division Championship soccer trophy. I can't believe he kept this.
Dean: Probably the closest you ever got to being a boy
Dean: Oh don't go away angry. Just go away.
Dean: I'm Batman.
Sam: (sarcastically) Yeah, you're Batman.
3.4 Sin City
Casey: Guess you should have paid more attention in Latin class.
Dean: I don't know what you're smiling about, you're not going anywhere.
Casey: And apparently neither are you.
Dean: Yeah but I got somebody coming for me and uh... he did pay attention in class.
Casey: Oh right--Sam. Everyone say's he's the brains of the outfit.
Dean: Everyone?
Dean: (referring to Richie) No way he gets a girl like that. I mean, look at her. You could fit that ass on a nickel
Dean: (about the Colt): So if we wanna go check out these omens in Ohio, think you can have that thing ready by this afternoon?
Bobby: Well, it won’t kill demons by then, but I can promise it’ll kill you
Dean: (trying an exorcism from memory) Spiritus emundi, undalara, persona tote… (trails off, lost)
Casey: Nice try but I think you just ordered a pizza.
Dean: Azazel?
Casey: What, you think his friends just called him Yellow-Eyes? He had a name .
Dean: There’s got to be a demon or two in South Beach.
Sam: Sorry, Hef, maybe next time.
Dean: All you demons have such smart mouths.
Casey: It’s a gift.
Casey: Why Dean. if I didn’t know better, I’d say that’s lust in your eyes. Well, it would be one way to spend the time. But I don’t think you’d respect me in the morning.
Dean: That’s okay: I mean hey, I barely respect you now.
Dean: Think something's wrong with my brother?
Bobby: Nah. Demons lie. I'm sure Sam's okay.
Dean: (doubtfully) Yeah.
Casey: So you see? Is my kind really really all that different than yours?
Dean: Well, except that, uh, demons are evil.
Casey: And humans are such a lovable bunch. Dick Cheney.
Dean: He's one of yours?
Casey: Not yet. Let's just say he's got a parking spot reserved for him downstairs.
Casey: Why don't you relax?
Dean: Why don't you kiss my ass?
Casey: Why, Dean, you're a poet. I had no idea.
Dean: Oh, I forgot to mention Richie was a friend of mine, once I realized I could track the GPS in his mobile I wanted to give him a proper burial, better than lying in some skank's basement.
Dean: Anyone could have tackled that guy, wrestled the gun awy...prevented a mass murder
Sam: You drink hurricanes?
Dean: I do now
Casey: Why Dean, if I didn't know better, I'd say that's lust in your eyes. Well, it would be one way to spend the time, but I don't think you'd respect me in the morning.
Dean: That's okay, I mean, hey I barely respect you now.
Casey: You know, not a lot of us say this, but your likable.
Dean: A demon just complicated me. I'm sorry, but I don't know how to respond to that.
Casey: You could try saying thanks.
3.5 Bedtime Stories
Dean: I thought all those things ended with everyone living happily ever after.
Sam: No, no, not the originals. See, the Grimm Brothers stuff was kind of like the folklore of its day, full of sex, violence, cannabalism. Now, it got sanitized over the years and turned into Disney flicks and bedtime stories.
Dean: So you think the murders are what, a re-enactment? That's a little crazy.
Sam: Crazy as what? Every day of our lives?
Dean: Touche.
Sam: Then we got the three brothers, arguing over how to build houses, attacked by the big, bad wolf.
Dean: Three little pigs.
Sam: Yup.
Dean: Actually, those guys were a little chubby
Dean: See you around, Doc.
Dr. Garrison: I sure hope not.
Sam: I've got a theory. Sort of.
Dean: Hit me.
Sam: Well, thinking about fairy tales.
Dean: Oh, that’s... that's nice. You think about fairy tales often?
Sam: (staring at frog on the road) Yeah, you’re right, that's completely normal.
Dean: All right, maybe it is fairy tales. Totally messed-up fairy tales. I'll tell you one thing, there’s no way I'm kissing a damned frog.
Sam: (gesturing to pumpkin on porch) Hey, check that out.
Dean: Yeah? It's close to Halloween.
Sam: You remember Cinderella? The pumpkin that turns into a coach and the mice that become horses?
Dean: Dude! Could you be more gay? Don't answer that.
Dean: You know what he said. Some good advice.
Sam: Is that what you want me to do, Dean? Just let you go?
Dean: You find a way to stop Callie, all right.
Sam: What about you?
Dean: I'm gonna go stop the big bad wolf. Which is the weirdest thing I've ever said.
Sam: I think it's Snow White.
Dean: Snow White? Ah, I saw that movie. Oh, porn version anyway.
Dean: So...little girl, red apple, guess that means something to you fairytale boy?
Dean: You go that way, maybe you'll find your fairygod mother.
3.6 Red Sky at Morning
(Sam and Dean are in the car; Dean looks pissed)
Dean: So, I've been waiting since Maple Springs. You got something to tell me?
Sam: It's not your birthday..
Dean: No.
Sam: (thinks hard) ...Happy Purim?
(Dean gives Sam an angry look, Sam laughs)
Sam: Dude, I don't know! I have no idea what you're talking about
(about Bela)
Dean: Can I shoot her?
Sam: Not in public.
Bela: Do you really think this is going to work?
Dean: Almost definitely not.
(about Bela to the Guard)
Dean: You think she's a pain in the ass now, try living with her.
Dean: So who was it Bela? Hmm? Who'd you kill? Was it daddy? Your little sis maybe?
Bela: It's none of your business.
Dean: No...right. Well have a nice life, you know whatever's left of it. (grabs jacket) Sam, let's go.
Bela: You can't just leave me here.
Dean: Watch us.
Bela: Please. I need your help.
Dean: Our help? Well now how could a couple of serial killers possibly help you?
Bela: What is taking so long? Sam's already halfway there. With his date.
Dean: I am so not okay with this.
Bela: What are you, a woman? Come down already.
(Dean walks down steps, Bela gasps)
Dean: All right, get it out. I look ridiculous.
Bela: Not exactly the word I'd use.
Sam: Exactly how long do you expect me to entertain my date?
Bela: As long as it takes.
Dean: Look. There's security all over this place, alright. This is an uncrashable party, without Gert's invitation, so.
Sam: We can crash anything, Dean.
Dean: Yeah I know, but this is easier and a lot more entertaining
Bela: So, how'd things go last night with Peter?
(Sam gives angry look)
Bela: That well, huh.
Dean: If you say "I told you so," I swear to God, I'll start swinging
Bela: Don't you dare look down your nose at me. You're no better than I am.
Dean: We help people.
Bela: Come on! You do this out of vengeance and obsession. You're a stone's throw from being a serial killer.
(Dean looks over to Sam)
Bela: Whereas I on the other hand, I get paid to do a job, and I do it. So you tell me, which is healthier?
Sam: Bela, why don't you just leave? We've got work to do.
Bela: Yeah. You're 0 for 2. Bang up job so far
Dean: There's a bullet missing from the Colt. You want to tell me how that happened? I know it wasn't me, so unless you were shooting at some incredibly evil cans.
Sam: Dean.
Dean: You went after her didn't you? The Crossroads Demon, after I told you not to.
Sam: Yeah, well.
Dean: You could have gotten yourself killed.
Sam: I didn't.
Dean: And you shot her?
Sam: She was a smartass
Dean: A Hand of Glory? I think I got one of those at the end of my Thai massage last week.
Dean: This is where we parked the car, right?
Sam: I thought so.
Dean: Where's my car?
Sam: Did you feed the meter?
Dean: Yes I fed the meter. Sam, where's my car, did somebody... stole my car?
Sam: Hey-hey, calm down. Dean.
Dean: I'm calmed down. Sombody stole my c...
Dean starts to hyperventolate
Sam: Wow, Dean. Hey-hey-hey-hey, take it easy, take it easy.
(Dean hyperventilating)
Bela: The 67' Impala, was that yours?
Sam: Bela.
Bela: I'm sorry, I had that car towed.
Dean: You what?
Bela: Well, it was in a tow-away zone.
Dean: No it wasn't.
Bela: It was when I finished with it.
Dean: What's the next step?
Sam: I gotta ID the boat.
Dean: That shouldn't be too hard. I mean, how many three-mast ships have wrecked off the coast?
Sam: I checked that too actually, over 150.
Dean: Wow!
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Crap.
Sam: Mm-hmm
Dean: So what happens? You see the ship and then a few hours later you pucker up and kiss your ass goodbye.
Sam: Basically
Dean: What a crazy old broad.
Sam: Why, because she believes in ghosts?
Dean: Ha ha, look at you. Sticking up for your girlfriend, you cougar hound
Dean: Hey, Bela, how'd you get like this? What, your daddy not give you enough hugs or something?
Bela: I don't know. Your daddy give you enough?
Dean: You can't save everybody, Sam.
Sam: Yeah right, So, so…what? You feel better now, or what?
Dean: No, not really.
Sam: Me neither.
Dean: You got to understand…
Sam: It’s just lately I feel like I can't save anybody
Bela: What do you suggest?
Dean: I’m thinking…
Bela: Don’t strain yourself.
Dean: (about Bela) You know what? I’m not going to kill her. I think slow torture’s the way to go.
Dean: I can’t believe she got another one over on us!
Sam: You.
Dean: What?
Sam: I mean, she got one over on you, not us.
Dean: Thank you, Sam! Very helpful
Dean: (to Sam) You stink like sex
Bela: (after handing Dean and Sam money) I don't like being in anyone's debt.
Dean: So ponying up ten grand is easier for you then a simple “thank you”? You're so damaged.
Bela: Takes one to know one.
Sam: I don’t want you to worry about me, Dean. I want you to worry about you. I want you to give a crap that you're dying! So that's it? Nothing else to say for you?
Dean: I think maybe I'll play craps
Sam: You know, there are limits to what I'll do, right?
Dean: Ah, he's playing hard-to-get. That's cute.
Bela: You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.
Dean: (after thinking hard) Don't objectify me
Bela: I think the three of us should have a heart-to-heart.
Dean: That's assuming you have a heart.
Sam: Bite me.
Dean: Not if she bites you first
Peter: You're not cops. Not dressed like that, not in that crappy car.
Dean: Hey, no need to get nasty
Bela: I see you got your car back.
Dean: You really want to come near me with a loaded gun in my hands?
Bela: Now, now. Mind your blood pressure.
Bela: (to Dean) I didn't want you thinking... you're not very good at that. Oh, look at you, searching for a witty rejoinder.
Dean: Screw you.
Bela: Very Oscar Wilde
(Bela collapses)
Dean: My wife has a extreme shellfish alergy, is there crab in there?
Waiter: No
Dean: (eats one) Excellent by the way
Dean: Thanks for looking after my wife.
Guard: Oh, shes being looked after alright.
3.7 Fresh Blood
Dean: (to Sam) You just charged a super-vamped-out Gordon with no weapon. That's a little reckless, don't you think?
Bela: Gordon Walker paid me to tell him where you were.
Dean: Excuse me?
Bela: Well, he had a gun on me. What else was I supposed to do?
Dean: I don't know, maybe pick up the phone and tell us that a raging psychopath was dropping by?
Bela: I did fully intend to call. I just got a bit sidetracked.
Dean: He tried to kill us!
Bela: I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was such a big deal. After all, there are two of you and one of him.
Dean: There were two of them.
Dean: Bela, if we make it out of this alive, the first thing I'm gonna do is kill you.
Bela: You're not serious.
Dean: Listen to my voice, and tell me if I'm serious
Dean: It's like a giant haystack and Gordon's a deadly needle.
Dixon: Can you think of a worse hell?
Dean: Well, there's Hell.
Dean: Well, what can I say? I'm a badass
Sam: What's with the auto shop?
(Dean extends tool to Sam to fix the Impala)
Sam: You don't mean, you want...
Dean: Yeah, I do. You fix it.
Sam: Dean, you barely let me drive this thing.
Dean: Well, it's time. You should know how to fix it. You're going to need to know these things for the future. And besides, it's my job, right. Show my little brother the ropes
Sam: You know what, man? I'm sick and tired of your old stupid kamikaze trick.
Dean: Whoa, whoa. Kamikaze? I'm more like a ninja.
Sam: That's not funny.
Dean: It's a little funny.
Sam: No, it's not.
Sam: Drop the attitude, Dean. Quit turning everything into a punchline. And you know something else? Stop trying to act like you're not afraid.
Dean: I'm not!
Sam: You're lying! And you may as well drop it cause I can see right through you.
Dean: You got no idea what you're talking about.
Sam: Yeah, I do. You're scared Dean. You're scared because your year is running out and you're still going to hell, and you're freaked.
Dean: And how do you know that?
Sam: Because I know you!
Dean: Really?
Sam: Yeah because I've been following you around my entire life! I mean I've been looking up to you since I was four, Dean. Studying you, trying to be just like my big brother. So yeah, I know you. Better that anyone else in the entire world. And this.. Is exactly how you act when you're terrified. And I mean I can't blame you. It's just...
Dean: What?
Sam: It's just I wish you would drop the show and be my brother again. Cause.. just cause.
Dean: What do you want me to do, Sam, huh? Sit around all day writing sad poems about how I’m going to die? You know what, I’ve got one. Let’s see, what rhymes with "Shut up, Sam"?
Dean: It’s just another day at the office. It’s a massively dangerous day at the office.
Sam: Vampire's still out there, Dean.
Dean: First things first.
Sam: Gordon.
Dean: About that, when we find him or if he finds us..
Sam: Yeah?
Dean: Well I'm just saying he's not giving us a whole lot of options.
Sam: Yeah I know...we gotta kill him.
Dean: Really? Just like that? I thought you would have been like; "No we can't, he's a human, it's wrong."
Sam: No I'm done. I mean Gordon's not gonna stop until we're dead... or until he is.
3.8 A Very Supernatural Christmas
Madge:Oh my goodness me somebody owes a nickel to the swear jar. oh you know what I say when I feel like swearing....fudge!
Dean: i will try to remember that.
Dean: (to Madge) You fudgin' touch me again, I'll fudgin' kill you!
Madge: Very Good.
Sam: (getting off the phone with Bobby) Well, we're not dealing with the anti-Claus.
Dean: What'd Bobby say?
Sam: Uh, that we're morons.
Sam: Look, Dean. If you wanna have Christmas, knock yourself out. Just don't involve me.
Dean: Oh, yeah. That'd be great. Me and myself making cranberry molds
Sam: I don't get it. You haven't talked about Christmas for years.
Dean: Well, yeah. But this is my last year.
Sam: I know. That's why I can't.
Dean: What do you mean?
Sam: I mean, I can't just sit around, drinking eggnog, pretending everything's okay, when I know next Christmas, you'll be dead. I just can't.
Dean: (holding up Sam's presents) Look at this. Fuel for me and fuel for my baby!
Dean: She gave them to you for free? Do you sell them for free?
Shopkeeper: No way. It's Christmas. People pay a buttload for them.
Dean: That's the spirit.
Young Dean: First thing you have to know is we have the coolest dad in the world. He's a superhero.
Young Sam: He is?
Young Dean: Yeah. Monsters are real. Dad fights them. He's fighting them right now.
Dean: Christmas is Jesus' birthday.
Sam: No, Jesus' birthday was probably in the fall. It was actually the Winter Solstice Festival that was co-opted by the church and renamed Christmas. But I mean the Yule log, the tree, even Santa's red suit, that's all remnants of Pagan worship.
Dean: How do you know that? You gonna tell me next...the Easter Bunny's Jewish?
Dean: Sam, why are you the boy that hates Christmas?
Dean: Wreaths, huh? Sure you didn't want to ask her about her shoes? I saw some nice handbags in the foyer.
Sam: Huh, when you sacrifice to Holnacar, guess what he gives you in return?
Dean: Lap dances, hopefully.
(brothers wake tied to chairs)
Sam: Dean, you okay?
Dean: Yeah, I think so.
Sam: So I guess we're dealing with "Mr. and Mrs. God," nice to know
Dean: So what the hell do you think we're dealing with?
Sam: Actually I have an idea.
Dean: Yeah?
Sam: It's uh, it's gonna sound crazy.
Dean: What could you possibly say that's gonna sound crazy to me?
Sam: Um, Evil Santa.
Dean: Yeah, that's crazy.
Dean: So was I right, was it the serial killing chimney-sweep?
Sam: Yep. It's uh, it's actually Dick Van Dick.
Dean: Who?
Sam: Mary Poppins.
Dean: Who's that?
Sam: Oh, come on. Never mind.
Sam: He punishes the wicked.
Dean: By hauling their asses up the chimney.
Sam: For starters, yeah.
(Sam chuckles)
Dean: What?
Sam: Nothing. It's just that, well you know, Mr. Gung-Ho Christmas, might have to blow away Santa
Santa's Elf: Welcome to Santa's Court. Can I escort your child to Santa?
Dean: Um, no. But actually, uh, my brother here, it's been a life long dream of his.
(Sam gives confused look)
Santa's Elf: I'm sorry, no kids over 12.
Sam: He's just kidding. We only came here to watch.
(Dean smirks and shakes his head)
Santa's Elf: Ewww
Sam: Yeah. It's pretty much like putting a neon sign on your front door, saying "Come kill us."
Dean: Great.
(Dean to shop owner)
Dean: We were playing Jenga over at the Walsh's the other night, and he hasn't shut up about this Christmas wreath. I don't know. (Looks over to Sam) You tell him.
Sam: Sure. (Sam pauses to look at shop owner) It was yummy.
Dean: So this is your theory, huh? Santa's shady brother?
Young Sam: But Dad said the monsters under my bed weren't real.
Young Dean: That's 'cause he'd already checked under there. But, yeah, they're real. Almost everything's real.
Young Sam: Is Santa real?
Young Dean: No
Dean: What are you talking about? We had some great Christmases.
Sam: Whose childhood are you talking about?
Dean: Oh, come on, Sam.
Sam: No, just... no.
Dean: All right, Grinch
Dean: (Edward taking blood from sam) Leave him alone you sonofabitch!
Edward: Hear how they talk to us? (Laughs) The Gods. Listen pal, back in the day we were worshiped by millions.
Dean: Times have changed.
Edward: Tell me about it. All of a sudden this Jesus character is the hot new thing in town. All of the sudden our altars are been burned down and we are being hunted down like common monsters.
Madge: Oh but did we say peep. ohhh no no we did not. Two Millennium we kept a low profile, we got jobs, a mortage....wait what was that word dear?
Edward: we assimilated
Madge: yeah we assimilated, why we play bridge on Tuesdays and Fridays. we are just like everbody else.
Dean: you are not blending in as smoothly as you think lady!
Young Sam: Why do we have to move around so much?
Young Dean: 'Cause everywhere we go they get sick of your face.
(Breaks into suspected Anti-Santa's house)
Suspected Anti-Santa: WHAT THE HELL?!
Dean: Um..uh...Siiilent niiight....hooollly niiight
(Sam joins in )
( Looking at a house with tons of elaborate Xmas decorations)
Dean: This is where Miss.Wreath lives huh? Can't you just feel the evil pagen vibe?
(Sam in pain)
Dean: Merry christmas Sam
Madge: Open wide. (Puts pliers into Deans mouth and grips a tooth. The door bells rings)
Dean: Somebody gonna get that? You should get that.
(Young Sam holds a girl baton in his hand)
Young Dean: Maybe Dad thinks your a girl. (Laughes) Open the next one. (Young Sam ripps off the paper and peers at the gift.) What is it?
Young Sam: Sapphire barbie? Where did you get this Dean? Tell the truth.
Young Dean: The nice ladies house down the street. But i didn't know they were chick gifts, i swear.
Sam: Hey, uh, Dean, (long pause, Dean looks over) You feel like watchin' the game?
Dean: (grins) Absolutely
3.9 Malleus Maleficarum
Dean: You saved my life.
Ruby: Don't mention it.
Dean: What was that stuff? God, it was ass. It tasted like ass.
Ruby: It's witchcraft, short bus. (she leaves)
Dean: (mutters) You're the short bus, short bus..
Dean: I saw Hellraiser, I get the gist.
Ruby: Actually, they got that pretty close. Except for all the custom leather.
Sam: (about Amanda) See, her house was littered with Satanic paraphernalia.
Dean: A regular Black Sabbath.
Elizabeth: No, that… but she was an Episcopalian.
Dean: Well… then we're pretty sure she was using the wrong Bible
Dean: I mean, this doesn't exactly look like the TV room of a bright and stable person, does it?
Dean: Are you feeling okay?
Sam: (sighs) Why are you always asking me that?
Dean: 'Cos you're taking advice from a demon for starters. And by the way, you seem less and less worried about offing people, you know, it used to eat you up inside.
Sam: Yeah, and what has that gotten me?
Dean: Nothing, it's just what you're supposed to do okay, were supposed to drive the friggin car, and friggin argue about this stuff. You know, you go on about the sanctity of life and all that crap.
Sam: So you're mad because I'm starting to agree with you?
Dean: No, not mad, I'm... I'm worried, Sam. I'm worried 'cos you're not acting like yourself.
Sam: Yeah, you're right, I'm not. I don't have a choice.
Dean: What's that suppose to mean.
Sam: Look, Dean, you're leaving right? And I gotta stay here in this crap-hole of a world... alone. So, the way I see it, if I'm gonna make it... if I'm gonna fight this war after you're gone then I gotta change.
Dean: Change into what?
Sam: Into you... I gotta be more like you.
Dean: Why does a rabbit always get screwed in the deal? Poor little guy.
Dean: So let me get this straight. You were human once. You died, you went to Hell, and you became a...
Ruby: Yeah
Ruby: The answer is yes, by the way.
Dean: Sorry?
Ruby: Yes, the same thing will happen to you. It might take centuries, but sooner or later, Hell will burn away your humanity. Every hell bound soul, every one, turns into something else. Turns you into us, so, yeah... yeah, you can count on it.
Sam: Look, Dean, you're leaving, right? And I got to stay here in this crap hole of a world... alone. So, the way I see it, if I'm gonna make it, if I'm gonna fight this war after you're gone, then I got to change.
Dean: Change into what?
Sam: Into you. I got to be more like you
Sam: Look, I know it's dangerous, that she is dangerous, but like it or not, she's useful.
Dean: No! We kill her before she kills us.
Sam: Kill her with what? The gun she fixed for us?
Dean: Whatever works.
Sam: Dean, if she wants us dead, all she has to do is stop saving our lives.
Dean: They killed the nut job, should we thank them or what?
Sam: They're working black magic, too, Dean. They need to be stopped.
Dean: Stopped like stopped? They're human, Sam.
Sam: They're murderers.
Dean: Burn, witch, burn.
Ruby: You need to help me get him ready for life without you. To fight this war on his own.
Dean: Ruby? Why do you want us to win?
Ruby: Isn't it obvious? I'm not like them. I don't know why. I wish I was, but I'm not. I remember what it's like.
Dean: What what's like?
Ruby: Being human.
Dean: There's no way from saving me from the pit, is there?
Ruby: No.
Dean: So why'd you tell Sam you could help?
Ruby: To get him to talk to me. You Winchesters can be pretty bigoted.
Sam: You're mad because I'm starting to agree with you?
Dean: No, I'm not mad, Sam. I'm worried, because you're not acting yourself anymore.
Dean: What the hell were you thinking?
Sam: What? What the hell was I thinking?
Dean: She's a demon, Sam. We want them dead, they want us dead!
Dean: I hate witches. They're all spewing their body liquids everywhere. It's creepy. Hell, it's downright unsanitary!
3.10 Dream a Little Dream of Me Quotes
Sam: One problem though: we are fresh out African dream roots so unless you know someone who can score some.
Dean: Crap!
Sam: What?
Dean: Bela...
Sam: Bela? Crap!
Sam: Dean, you sure you don't want me to drive? You... you seem a little... caffeinated
Dean: thanks for the news flash Addison.
Dean: Tell me you got something!
Bobby: strip club was a bust huh?
Dean: yeah
Bobby: That was our last lead
Dean: What the hell Bobby!!
Bobby: Don't yell at me boy. i am working my ass off.
Dean: sorry sorry...i am just tired
Bobby: well who ain't
Dean: what Bela got?
Bela: sorry....sometimes spirit world is in chatty mood and sometimes it isn't.
Bobby: she got nothing
Dean: Great! well i am just gonna go and blow my brains out now!!
Dean: Alright that's it I am done. (closes his eyes to sleep)
Sam: What you doing?
Dean: Taking myself a long overdue nap.
Sam: What?? Dean, Jeremy can come after you.
Dean: That's the idea
Sam: Excuse me???
Dean: Come on man we can't find him....so let him come to me.
Sam: On his own turf??? Where he is basically a God?
Dean: I can handle it.
Sam: Not alone you can't. (Rips out a part of Dean's hair)
Dean: Ow! What you doing?
Sam: Coming with you.
Dean: No you are not.
Sam: Why? At least, then there will be two against one.
Dean: 'Cause I don't want you digging around in my head.
Sam: Too bad....
Sam: It's been used by shamans and medicine men for centuries.
Dean: Let me guess, they dose up, break out the didgeridoos and start kicking around the hacky?
Dean: (about to drink the dream tea) Well, shall we dim the lights and sync up Wizard of Oz and Dark Side of the Moon?
Sam: Why?
Dean: What did you do in college?
Sam: What's the big deal? You get sloppy in bars and hit on chicks all the time.
Dean: It's kinda slim pickin's around here
Sam: You want to go dream walking inside Bobby's head?
Dean: Yeah, why not? Maybe we could help.
Sam: We have no idea what's crawling around in there.
Dean: How bad could it be?
Sam: Bad!
Dean: Dude... it's Bobby!
Dean: My father was an obsessed bastard! All that crap he dumped on me about protecting Sam, that was his crap! He's the one who couldn't protect his family! He's the one who let Mom die, who wasn't there for Sam! I always was! It wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me! And I don't deserve to go to Hell! (Dean shoots Nightmare Dean with shotgun)
Dean (Nightmare): (after getting up from shotgun blast with demon eyes) You can't escape me, Dean. You're gonna die, Dean! And this, this is what you're gonna become!
Dean (Nightmare): I mean, think about it. All he ever did was train you; boss you around. But Sam, Sam he doted on, Sam he loved.
Dean (Real): I mean it, I'm getting angry.
Dean (Nightmare): Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died, why should you?
(as Dean impersonates a police detective)
Jeremy: I had this most vivid super intense dream, like a bad acid trip, you know...
Dean: Totally. (pause) I mean, no.
Dean: There you are. What are you doing?
Sam: Having a drink?
Dean: It's two in the afternoon. Drinking whiskey?
Sam: I drink whiskey all the time.
Dean: No you don't.
Sam: What was Bobby doing in Pittsburgh?
Dean: I don't know, unless he was taking an extremely lame vacation.
Sam: (Opens door) I thought you said you weren't coming, Bela.
Bela: Well, I'm full of surprises. (pauses) You wanna know why I'm really here?
Sam: Why?
Bela: I can't stop thinking about you. (takes off jacket)
Sam: You really wanna do this?
Dean: Sam!!!! Wake up!!
Sam: What? (wipes drool off his cheek)
Dean: Dude, you were out, and seriously making some happy noises. Who was it?
Sam: Who was what?
Dean: Angelina Jolie?
Sam: No.
Dean: Brad Pitt?
Sam: No. NO!
Bobby: Before I knew it was him, he offered me a beer. I drank it. Dumbest friggin' thing.
Dean: Aw, I don't know. It wasn't that dumb.
Sam: Dean, you didn't.
Dean: I was thirsty.
Sam: That's great! Now he can come after either one of you.
Dean: Sam?
Sam: Yeah?
Dean: I've been doing some thinking. And well, the thing is, I don't want to die. I don't want to go to Hell.
Sam: Okay. We'll find a way to save you.
Dean: Okay, good
Dean: I take it we believe the legends.
Sam: When don't we?
Sam: The truth is, no one can save you.
Dean: What I've been telling you.
Sam: No, what I mean is no one can save you because you don't want to be saved.
3.11 Mystery Spot
Sam: *Trying to destroy the Mystery Spot*
Dean: *Talking to the tied-up owner of the Mystery Spot* Everybody's fine. Nobody's gonna get hurt, okay? Sammy? Maybe you should drop the ax and let this guy go. What do you say?
Sam: Something's gotta be going on here, I intend to find out what.
Dean: Place is tore up pretty good, dude. Time to give it a rest.
Sam: NO! I'm gonna take it down to studs.
Dean: *Looking at their prisoner, chuckling* Sammy, that's enough. Give me the ax.
Sam: Leave it, Dean.
Dean: Give it!
Sam: No, you give it!
Dean: Let - let go! Come on -"
Sam: No, Dean. Leave it.
Dean: Come on -!
Sam: Dean? Oh, no.
Dean: All right, all right. We'll go tonight after closing, get us a nice long look.
Sam: Wait… what? No!
Dean: Why not?
Sam: Uhhh…. Let's just go now – right now. Business hours! Nice and crowded.
Dean: My god, you're a freak.
Dean: I'm not gonna die; not today.
Sam: Twice now I've watched you die and I can't. I won't do it again, okay? You're just gonna have to believe me. Please?
Dean: Okay. I still think you're nuts, but…
Sam: (looking at alarm playing Back in Time) It's Wednesday!
Dean: Yeah, which usually comes after Tuesday. Turn that thing off, would ya?
Sam: What, are you kidding? This isn't the most beautiful song you ever heard?
Dean: No! Geez, how many Tuesdays did you have?
(after Dean gets hit by a car)
Dean: And?
Sam: And what?
Dean: Did it look cool, like in the movies?
Sam: You peed yourself.
Dean: Of course I peed myself. Man gets hit by a car, you think he has full control over his bladder? Come on!
Dean: You mean we can't even go out for breakfast?
Sam: You'll thank me when it's Wednesday.
Dean: Whatever that means
Dean: Sammy, I get all tingly when you take control like that
Sam: Yesterday was Tuesday but today is Tuesday too!
Dean: ...yeah. You're totally balanced.
Sam and Dean (In unison): Right you're a mind reader. Cut it out Sam. Sam. You think you're funny but you're being really, really childish. Sam Winchester wears makeup. Sam Winchester cries his way through sex. Sam Winchester keeps a ruler by the bed and every morning when he wakes up... okay, enough!
Sam: I had a weird dream.
Dean: Yeah? Clowns or midgets?
Waitress: Here's your hot sauc.. oh cra- (Sam catches hot sauce) Thanks! (Sam slams hot sauce on the table)
Dean: Nice reflexes.
Sam: They weren't reflexes. I knew it was going to happen. (Dean looks at Sam in a weird way.)
Sam: You don't remember any of this?
Dean: Remember what?
Sam: This. Today. Like - like it's happened before?
Dean: You mean like déjà vu?
Sam: No. I mean, like it's - like it's really happened before.
Dean: Yeah. Like déjà vu.
Sam: No! Forget about déjà vu! I'm asking you if it feels like we're living yesterday all over again?
Dean: Okay, how is that not déjà -
Sam: Don't! Don't say it! Just don't.
Sam: So you don't believe me?
Dean: (Laughing) It's a little crazy. I mean even-for-us crazy. You know like, uh -
Sam: Dingo-ate-my-baby crazy?
Dean: How'd you know I was gonna say that?
Sam: Because you said it before, Dean. That's my whole point.
Dean: These tacos taste funny to you?
3.12 Jus in Bello
Henricksen: You're right. I screwed up. I underestimated you. I didn't count on you being that smart. But now I'm ready.
Dean: Ready to lose us again?
Henricksen: Ready like a court order to keep you in a super-maximum prison in Nevada until trial. Ready like isolation, in a sound-proof window-less cell that between you and me is probably unconstitutional. How's that for ready? Take a good look at Sam. You two will never see each other again.
Henricksen: Shotgun shells full of salt.
Dean: Whatever works.
Henricksen: Fighting off monsters with condiments.
Dean: I'm not going to let that demon kill some poor sweet innocent little girl, who hasn't even been laid. If that's how you win wars, I don't want to win
Henricksen: I shot the sheriff.
Dean: But you didn't shoot the deputy.
Henricksen: My job is boring. It's frustrating. You work three years for one break, and then maybe you can save a few people, maybe. That's the payoff. I've been busting my ass for 15 years and nailed a handful of guys and all this while there's been something off in the corner so big. So yeah, sign me up for that big frosty mug of waste of my damn life.
Dean: You didn't know.
Henricksen: Now I do.
Dean: How you holding up, Nancy?
Nancy: Okay.. when I was little, I would come home from church and talk about the devil. My parents would tell me to stop being so literal. I guess I showed them, huh?
Ruby: (for help with her spell) This spell is very specific. It calls for a person of virtue.
Dean: I got virtue.
Ruby: (laughs) Nice try! You're not a virgin.
Dean: (laughing) Nobody's a virgin! (slowly everyone turns to look at Nancy)
Dean: No.. No way! You're kidding me, right? You're..?
Nancy: What? It's a choice, okay!
Henricksen: I mean, after all, seeing you two in chains...
Dean: You kinky son of a b!tch, we don't swing that way
Groves: Sam and Dean Winchester. I'm Deputy Director Steven Groves. This is a pleasure.
Dean: Well, glad one of us feels that way.
Dean: It's like we got a contract on us. Think it's because we're so awesome? I think it's 'cause we're so awesome.
Sam: You were possessed.
Henricksen: Possessed like... possessed?
Sam: That's what it feels like. Now you know
Dean: I owe you the biggest "I told you so" ever
Dean: Honestly, I think the world's going to end bloody. But it doesn't mean we shouldn't fight. We do have choices. I choose to go down swingin'.
Henricksen: I better call in. Hell of a story I won't be telling.
Sam: So what are you going to tell them?
Henricksen: The least ridiculous lie I can come up with in the next five minutes.
Dean: Good luck with that
Henricksen: So, turns out demons are real.
Dean: F.Y.I.--ghosts are real, too. So are werewolves, vampires, changelings, evil clowns that eat people.
Henricksen: Okay, then.
Dean: If it makes you feel better, Bigfoot's a hoax.
Henricksen: It doesn't
Sam: So, what's the plan?
Dean: Open the doors, let them all in, and we fight.
Dean: Nobody kill any virgins!
Henricksen: You know what my job is?
Dean: You mean, besides locking up the good guys?
3.13 Ghostfacers
Dean: Listen, you and Rambo need to get the hell outta here.
Ed: (laughs) Listen here, Chisel Chest, okay, we were here first. We've already set up base camp and we beat you
Spruce: What's this guy Daggett's problem, anyway?
Sam: Loneliness.
Dean: What, he's never heard of a RealDoll?
Dean: Hey, Ed, listen to me. There's some salt in my duffel. Make a circle and get inside.
Ed: Inside your duffel bag?
Dean: In the salt, you idiot!
Sam: Let's go hunt the Morton House you said, it's our Grand Canyon.
Dean: Sam, I don't wanna hear it.
Sam: You got two months left. Instead we're gonna die tonight.
Sam: ewwww ( looking at papers)
Ed & Harry: What?
Sam: Well that explains why the death echos are here....
Ed &Harry: (Confused look)
Sam:...Their bodies are here...
Dean: Daggett, he brought the bodies home form the morgue (looks at camera) To play.
Ed & Harry: EWWWW!
Ed Zeddmore: I know you.
Dean Winchester: Yeah, sure you do. Let's see some identification.
Ed Zeddmore: I know the both of you guys. Yeah, yeah...
Ed Zeddmore: [Ed shakes his head at Sam and Dean]
Sam Winchester: [Sam suddenly recognizes Ed]
Sam Winchester: Holy s**t.
Dean Winchester: What?
Sam Winchester: West Texas - that tulpa we had to take out, those two goofballs who almost got us killed? Uh - uh, Hell Hounds, or somethin'?
Dean: Seriously, does looking at this nightmare through that camera make you feel better or something? I mean…
Maggie: Um... I... uh... oh, yeah. Yeah, I think so. Uh-huh
3.14 Long-Distance Call
Sam: So you two were talking a case?
Dean: No we were uh, we were actually talking about our feelings. And then our favorite boy bands. Yeah, we were talking a case.
Dean: Mrs. Waters, withholding information from the police is a capital offense. (Sam clears throat) In some parts of the world, I'm sure.
Dean: I just talked to an 84-year old grandmother who's having phone sex with her husband who died in Korea.
Sam: Eww.
Dean: Completely rocked my understanding of the word "necrophilia."
Sam: I mean, Dad? You really think it was Dad?
Dean: I don't know. Maybe.
Sam: Well, what did he sound like?
Dean: Like Oprah. It was Dad, he sounded like Dad, what do you think?
Sam: (about demon) And it's following you because...?
Dean: I guess I'm big game, you know? My ass is too sweet to let out of sight.
Sam: Dean, it's not Dad.
Dean: Then what is it?
Sam: A crocotta.
Dean: Is that a sandwich?
Sam: There's nothing wrong with having hope, you know.
Dean: Hope doesn't get you jack squat
Dean: And the only one who person can get me out of this thing is me.
Sam: And me.
Dean: "And me"? What, deep revelation, having a deep moment here. That's what you come back with? "And me"?
Sam: Do you want a poem?
Dean: Moment's gone.
Dean: Wow, you know, you'd think that Stanford education and a high school hook-up rate of 0.0 would produce better results than that.
Sam: Hilarious.
Sam: So, what the hell is going on here, Dean?
Dean: Beats me. Better find out soon. This thing's turning into Spook Central
Dean: Is that uh, BustyAsianBeauties.com?
Stewie: No... maybe.
Dean: Word to the wise. Platinum membership--worth every penny.
Dean: (about John) I mean, what if he calls back?
Sam: So what, if he calls back?
Dean: What do I say?
Sam: Hello.
Dean: Hello?! That's the best you can come up with?!
3.15 Time Is On My Side
Dean: Speaking of, what do you care about zombies?
Sam: What do you mean?
Dean: Well, you've been on soul-saving detail for months now. And we're three weeks out and all of a sudden, you're interested in some hot zombie action?
Sam: Hey, man, you're the one who's been all gung ho to hunt. I just thought I'd be doing you a favor.
Dean: Hey, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't say I didn't want to do it, okay. I mean, obviously, I want to hunt some zombies.
Sam: Okay, fine, whatever.
Sam: Remember that thing in the paper yesterday?
Dean: "Stripper suffocates dude with thighs"?
Dean: Zombies do like the other other white meat
Dean: You make me sick.
Bela: Likewise
Dean: Oh, hiya, doc. Wakey, wakey, eggs and bac-y.
Dean: well aint you a bucket of sunshine!
Rufus: There are things that you don't know about her.
Dean: Oh and you do? Right, because you know things.
Rufus: Yep.
Dean: And let me guess, you lift her fingerprint?
Rufus: Yep.
Dean: And that got you jack.
Rufus: Yep. She burned them off. Probably years ago.
Dean: Yeah, so you're right where we are.
Rufus: Nope. You do her ear?
Dean: Sorry?
Rufus: You do her ear?
Dean: Hey man I'll try anything once, but I don't know, that sounds uncomfortable.
Rufus: you do her ear?
Sam: Dean, there's no way she still has the Colt. That was months ago, she probably sold it the second she got it.
Dean: Well, then I'll kill her. Win-win.
Sam: According to this, Benton's picky about where he sets up his lab. He likes a dense forest, with access to a river or stream, or some kind of fresh water.
Dean: Why?
Sam: Because that's where he likes to dump the bile, the intestines, and the fecal matter. Lost your appetite yet?
(Dean stops chewing and looks at burger)
Dean: Oh baby, I can't stay mad at you (resumes eating).
Demon: I'm telling the truth!
Dean: Oh, you are? Then let me make it up to you. (douses him in holy water)
Dean: Now I'm gonna ask you one more time: Who holds my contract?!
Demon: Your mother. Yeah, she showed it to me, right before I bent her over.
(to Bela)
Dean: I'll see you in Hell.
Sam: I talked to Mr. Beetle's doctor. Turns out his incisions were sewn up with silk.
Dean: That's weird?
Sam: Yeah, nowadays it is, but silk used to be the suture of choice back in the early 19th-century. It was really problematic. Patients would get massive infections, the death rate was insane.
Dean: Good times.
Sam: Right. So, doctors, they had to do whatever they could to keep the infections from spreading. One way was maggots.
Dean: Dude, I'm eating.
Sam: It actually kind of worked because maggots, they eat the bad tissue and they leave good tissue. And get this. When they found our guy, his body cavity was stuffed full of maggots.
Dean: Dude, I'm eating!
Doctor: Didn't you read my report?
Dean: Of course we did. Oh, it was riveting, a real page-turner. Just delightful.
Doctor: You done?
Dean: I think so.
Doctor: Please, go away.
Dean: Okay.
Sam: Sure
Doctor: Can I see your badges?
Sam: Of course. Sure.
(both show badges)
Doctor: Fine. So, you're cops and morons.
Dean: Excuse me? (stammering) No, no. We're, we're very smart.
3.16 No Rest For The Wicked
Sam: You know if this doesn't go the way we want, I want you to know that...
Dean: Nooo, no, no, no, no, no.
Sam: No what?
Dean: You're not gonna bust out the misty goodbye speech, Okay? I mean, if this is my last day on Earth, I do not want it to be socially awkward.
Dean: Hey, why don't we just make a TJ-run, you know? Some señoritas, cervesas, we could.. what's Spanish for donkey-show?
Sam: So, if we do save you, let's never do that
Dean: Yeah
Dean: What do you think?
Sam: I think you totally should have been jamming Eye of the Tiger right there.
Dean: Oh, bite me. I totally rehearsed that speech, too.
Dean: Oh.
Ruby: What?
Dean: Nothing. I just couldn't see you before, but you are one ugly broad.
Sam: Then what am I supposed to do?
Dean: Keep fighting. And take care of my wheels.
Bobby: Well, you got just over five hours to go. You're piercing the veil, Dean, glimpsing the "b" side.
Dean: Little less New Agey, please.
Bobby: You're almost hell's bitch, so you can see hell's other bitches.
Dean: Thank you
Dean: Bon Jovi rocks! On occasion.
Dean: Well, just cause I got to die doesn't mean you have to, okay? Either we go in smart or we don't go in at all.
Sam: Okay, fine. That's the case, I have the answer.
Dean: You do?
Sam: Yeah. A surefire way to confirm it's Lilith and a way to get us a bona fide demon-killing Ginsu.
Bobby: Ain't you just bringing down the room.
Dean: Well, it's a gift.
Bobby: (looking down at policeman's body) What the hell happened over here?
Sam: Dean just killed a demon. How'd you know?
Dean: I just knew. I could see its face... its real face, under that one.
Bobby: Tell me. How many hallucinations have you had so far?
Dean: How'd you know?
Bobby: Because that's what happens when you've got hell hounds on your butt. And because I'm smart.
Ruby: What are you smiling at? (Dean holds up knife) I'll kill you, you little son of a bitch. (Ruby tries to kick, but realizes that she is trapped)
Dean: As I said, I knew you were gonna come. (Goes up the stairs)
Ruby: So what, you're just gonna leave me here?
Dean: That's the main plan.
Ruby: Fine, then that means you're just too stupid to live, huh? Fine, you deserve Hell! And I wish I could be there Dean. I wish I could see your flesh sizzle off your bones. I wish I could be there to hear you scream!
Dean: And I wish you would shut your pie hole but we don't always get want we want.
Ruby: Give me the knife. Maybe I can fight it off.
Dean: Sam, wait.
Ruby: You want to die?
Dean: Sam, that's not Ruby it's Lillith! (Lillith pins Dean to a table and Sam to a wall) I should have known, but all you demons, you all look alike to me. How long have you been in her?
Lillith: Not long, but i like it. It's all grown up and pretty. (Turns toward Sam) Hello Sam, I wanted to meet you for a very long time. (Kisses Sam) Your lips are soft.
Sam: Let Dean out of his deal.
Lillith: If you wanna bargain, you have to have something I want. Huh, you don't.
Dean: So this is your big plan, huh? Drag me to Hell. Kill Sam. Become queen bitch?
Sam: Where's Ruby?
Lillith: She was a very bad girl. So, I sent her somewhere far, far away. (Heads towards door) Sic him, boy.
Season FOUR
4.1 Lazarus Rising
Bobby: (about Sam) How'd you know he'd use that name?
Dean: Are you kidding me? What don't I know about that kid?
Dean: Look, pal, I'm not buying what you're selling. Who are you really?
Castiel: I told you.
Dean: Right. And why would an angel rescue me from Hell?
Castiel: Good things do happen, Dean.
Dean: Not in my experience.
Castiel: What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved.
Dean: Why'd you do it?
Castiel: Because God commanded it. Because we have work for you.
Dean: Some angel you are. You burned out that poor woman's eyes.
Castiel: I warned her not to spy on an angel. It can be…overwhelming to humans. And so can my real voice. You already knew that.
Dean: You mean the gas station and the hotel. That was you talking? (Castiel nods) Buddy, next time lower the volume.
Castiel: It was my mistake. Certain people, special people, can perceive my true visage. I thought you would be one of them. I was wrong.
Dean: And what visage are you in now, what, holy tax accountant?
Dean: Who are you?
Castiel: Castiel.
Dean: Yeah, I figured that much. I mean what are you?
Castiel: I'm an Angel of the Lord.
Dean: Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing.
Castiel: This is your problem, Dean, you have no faith.
Dean: Who are you?
Castiel: I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.
Dean: Yeah, thanks for that.
Sam: I tried everything, that's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate, Hell, I tried to bargain, Dean, but no demon would deal, all right. You were rotting in Hell, for months, for months, and I couldn't stop it. So, I'm sorry it wasn't me, all right. Dean, I'm sorry.
Dean: It's okay, Sammy. You don't have to apologize, I believe you.
(Bobby throws holy water on Dean)
Dean: I'm not a demon either, you know.
Bobby: Sorry. Can't be too careful.
Demon Waitress: So you get to just strolled out of the Pit, huh? Tell me, what makes you so special?
Dean: I'd like to think it's because of my perky nipples.
Dean: (in the Impala) What the hell is that?
Sam: That's an iPod jack.
Dean: You were supposed to take care of her, not douche her up.
Dean: Dude, I'm so in.
Sam: Yeah she's gonna eat you alive.
Dean: Hey, I just got out of jail. Bring it.
Pamela: You're invited too, Grumpy.
Dean: You are not invited.
Bobby: Dean, your chest was ribbons, your insides were slop. And you'd been buried for four months. Even if you could slip out of Hell and inside your meatsuit.
Dean: I know. I should look like a Thriller video reject.
Bobby: What do you remember?
Dean: Not much. I remember I was a hellhound's chew toy. Then lights out. Then I come to six feet under. That was it.
(after seeing "Jesse Forever" tattooed on Pamela's lower back)
Dean: So who's Jesse?
Pamela: Well, it wasn't forever.
Dean: His loss.
Pamela: Might be your gain.
4.2 Are You There, God? It's Me... Dean Winchester
Dean: Don't you think that if angels were real that some hunter, somewhere, would have seen one, at some point... ever!
Sam: Yeah, you just did, Dean
Dean: All I know is I was not groped by an angel.
Bobby: I think I got everything we need here at the house.
Dean: Any chance you got everything we need here in this room?
Bobby: So you thought our luck was gonna start now all of a sudden?
Sam: A demon who's immune to salt rounds? And Devil's Traps? And Ruby's knife? Dean, Lilith is scared of that thing.
Dean: Don't you think that if angels were real, that some hunter, somewhere, would have seen one. At some point! Ever.
Sam: Yeah. You just did, Dean.
Dean: I'm trying to come up with a theory here, okay? Work with me.
Sam: Dean, we have a theory.
Dean: Yeah, one with a little less fairy dust on it, please!
Dean: Ronald. Hey,come on,man. I thought we were pals.
Ronald: That's when i was breathing Now I'm gonna eat you alive.
Dean: Well...come on,I'm not a cheeseburger.
Bobby: Solid iron. Completely coated in salt. One hundred percent ghost-proof.
Dean: You built a panic room?
Bobby: I had a weekend off.
4.3 In The Beginning
Dean: Thanks..nice threads. You know Sonny and Cher broke up right?
Young John: Sonny and Cher broke up?
Azazel: All those angels on your shoulder. No, I'm gonna cover my tracks good.
Dean: You can cover whatever the hell you want, I'm still going to kill you.
Azazel: Right. Now that I'd like to see.
Dean: Maybe not today. But you look into my eyes, you son of a bitch, 'cause I'm the one that kills you.
Dean: What about the rest of the town? Did you find anything on the web? (Samuel stares) Of… information that you have assembled.
Deanna: Electrical storms, maybe. The weather service graphs should be here on Friday.
Dean: By mail?
Samuel: No, we hired a jetliner to fly them to us overnight.
Dean: For what it's worth, ummm. It doesn't matter what your dad thinks. I like that John kid.
Young Mary: You do?
Dean: Yeah. Yeah, I think you two are meant to be. Hell, I'm depending on it.
Young Mary: What?
Dean: Nothing.
Dean Winchester: Even if this sounds really weird, will you promise me that you will remember?
Young Mary Winchester: Okay.
Dean Winchester: On November 2nd, 1983, don't get out of bed. No matter what you hear, or what you see... promise me you won't get out of bed.
Dean Winchester: This is the car of a lifetime. Trust me, this thing's still going to be badass when it's forty.
Dean Winchester: [to Castiel] Oh, come on! What, are you allergic to straight answers, you son of a bitch!
Dean Winchester: Sammy, wherever you are... Mom is a babe! I'm going to hell. Again.
Dean Winchester: [referring to killing the Yellow-Eyed Demon in 1973] Alright, if I do this then the family curse breaks, right? Mom and Dad live happily ever after, and-and Sam and I grow up playing little league and chasing tail?
Castiel: You realize, if you do alter the future, your father, you, Sam, you'll never become hunters. And all those people you saved, they'll die.
Dean Winchester: I realize.
Castiel: And you don't care?
Dean Winchester: Oh, I care. I care a lot. But these are my parents. I'm not gonna let them die again. I can't. Not if I can stop it.
4.4 Metamorphosis
(to Ruby)
Dean: Well aren't you just an obedient little bitch?
Travis: Boys, we got ourselves a Rugaru.
Dean: Rugaru? Is that made up? That sounds made up.
Girl: Aahhhh!
Dean: Wait, Whoa! We're here to save you... I guess.
Girl: I'm calling the police!
Sam: We should go.
Dean: Yeah.
Sam: I'm not going to let it go too far.
Dean: It's already gone too far, Sam. If I didn't know you, I would want to hunt you.
Dean: I've seen big weird, little weird, weird with crazy on top. But this guy, come on this guy's boring.
Sam: Our whole family murdered and for what? So Yellow Eyes can get in my nursery and bleed in my mouth.
Dean: Sam I never said anything about demon blood. You knew about that?
Sam: Yeah for about a year.
Dean: A whole year.
Sam: I should've told you, I'm sorry.
Dean: You've been saying that a lot lately, Sam.
Travis: The last step comes with eating longpig.
Dean: (doesn't get it) Longpig?
Sam: He means human flesh.
Dean: And that is my word of the day!
Sam: Are you leaving? Dean, come on...
(Dean whips around and punches Sam in the mouth)
Sam: (turning back, lip bloody) Satisfied?
( Dean punches him again)
Sam Winchester: [Sam looks up, startled at Dean] What?
Dean Winchester: Cas said if I don't stop you, he will. See what that means, Sam? That means that God doesn't want you doing this. So, are you just gonna stand there and tell me that everything is all good?
Dean Winchester: Sam loves research. He does. He keeps it under his mattress, right next to his KY. It's a sickness, it is.
4.5 Monster Movie
Dean: Hey, you think this Dracula can turn into a bat? That'd be cool.
Dean: Room's paid for and it's Oktoberfest. C'mon, brother! Beer and bar wenches.
Sam: Pretty sure women today don't react well to the whole "wench" thing, Dean.
Dean: Hey, bar wench! Where's that beer?
Jamie: Coming up, good sir.
(Sam rolls his eyes)
Dean: Dude. Oktoberfest.
Jamie: Try again tomorrow, g-man.
Dean: I wish I could. I don't think we're stayin' on the case.
Jamie: What? Is it too weird for you?
Dean: Not weird enough.
Jamie: You're funny.
Dean: I'm a lot more than that. I'd love to get the chance to get to show you the rest. What time do you get off?
Jamie: Ha, ha. Like I said, funny.
Dean: It's like the good old days! An honest-to-goodness monster hunt! It's about time the Winchesters got back to tackling a straightforward, black-and-white case.
Jamie: So, is this what you do, you and your partner? Just tramp across the country on your own dime until you find some horrible nightmare to fight?
Dean: Some people pay.
Dean: We still got to see the new "raiders" movie.
Sam: Saw it.
Dean: Without me?
Sam: You were in hell.
Dean: That's no excuse!
Dean: Dude, I'm rehymenated.
Dracula: [referring to portrait of woman] She is beautiful, no? Bride number three from the first film. She never got the acclaim that she deserved. Which is why I chose her shape, her form to move among the mortals unnoticed, to listen to the cricket songs of the living. That is when I discovered my bride had been reborn in this century.
Dean Winchester: [chuckles] I can't get over what a pumpkin-pie-eyed, crazy son of a bitch you really are. You're not Dracula. You get that right? Or even if you think you are Dracula, what the hell's up with the Mummy?
Dracula: [punches Dean in his face] I am *all* monsters!
Dean Winchester: Life ain't a movie you sorry sack of...
Dracula: [again punches Dean] Life is small, meager, messy. The movies are grand, simple, elegant. I have chosen elegance.
Dean Winchester: You think "elegance" is really the word for what you did to Marissa or Rick Deacon? Or any of the others?
Dracula: But of course. It is a monster movie, after all.
Dean Winchester: You do realize what happens at the end of *every* monster movie?
Dracula: Ah. But this movie is *mine*. And in it, the monster wins. The monster gets the girl. And the hero, he's... electrocuted.
[reaches for pulley switch]
Dracula: And tonight, Jonathan Harker, you will be my hero.
Dean Winchester: I, uh, pulled it off during the fight. Look at the label on the ribbon.
Sam Winchester: It's a costume rental.
Dean Winchester: All three monsters - the Dracula, Wolf Man, and the Mummy - all the same critter, which means we need to catch this freak before he "Creature from the Black Lagoon's" somebody.
Jamie: So, you guys are like Mulder and Scully or something, and the X-Files are real?
Dean Winchester: No, "The X-Files" is a TV show. This is real.
Dean Winchester: We still gotta see the new "Raiders" movie.
Sam Winchester: I saw it.
Dean Winchester: Without me?
Sam Winchester: You were in hell.
Dean Winchester: That's no excuse.
Dean Winchester: Well, look at me. I mean, I came back from the furnace without any of my old scars, right? No bullet wounds, knife cuts, none of the off-angle fingers from all of the breaks - I mean, my hide is as smooth as a baby's bottom. Which leads me to conclude, sadly, that my virginity is intact.
Sam Winchester: What?
Dean Winchester: I've been re-hymenated.
Sam Winchester: Re - Please. Dean, maybe angels can pull you out of hell, but no one could do that.
Dean Winchester: Brother! I have been re-hymenated. And the dude will not abide!
4.6 Yellow Fever
Sam: You can read Japanese?
Bobby: (Answers in Japanese)
Sam: Guess so, show-off.
Dean: What are we doing?
Sam: We're hunting a ghost.
Dean: A ghost! Exactly! Who does that?
Sam: Us.
Dean: Us? Right. And that, Sam, that is exactly why our lives suck. I mean, come on, we hunt monsters. What the hell? I mean normal people, they see a monster and they run. But not us. No no no. We, we search out things that want to kill us, eh, huh, or EAT US! You know who does that? Crazy people! We are insane! Seriously! Do you actually like being stuck in a car with me 8 hours a day, every single day? I don't think so! I mean, I drive too fast and I listen to the same five albums over and over and over again. Anandand... and I sing along. I'm annoying, I know that. And you, you're gassy. You eat half a burrito and you get toxic. I mean, you know what, you can forget it.
Sam: Whoa. Dean. Where are you going?
Dean: Stay away from me Sam. Okay? Cuz I am done with it. I'm done with the monsters and... and... and... and the hell hounds, and the ghost sickness, and the damn apocalypse. I'm out. I'm done. I quit.
Dean: We just wanna see the results of Frank's autopsy.
Doctor: What autopsy?
Dean: [smirks] The one you're gonna do.
Dean: Let's do this!
[opens trunk, then looks over at the factory]
Dean: It's a little spooky, isn't it?
Sam: [holds out a pistol for Dean to take]
Dean: Oh, I'm not carrying that.
[Sam looks confused]
Dean: It could go off! I'll man the flashlight.
Sam: You do that.
Dean: This isn't gonna work. I mean, come on, these badges are fake, what if we get busted, we could go to jail!
Sam: Dean, shhh! Calm down. Deep breath, okay?
[Dean takes a deep breath]
Sam: Okay, you feel better?
[Dean shakes his head, no]
Sam: Just, come on.
Dean: [the boys hand there badges to John Luther] Those are real. Obviously. I mean, who would pretend to be an FBI agent, huh? That's just nutty.
Sam: How're you feeling, by the way?
Dean: Fine.
Bobby: You sure, Dean? 'Cause this line of work can get awful scary.
Dean: I'm fine. What, you wanna go hunting? I'll hunt. I'll kill anything.
Sam: Aww...
Bobby: He's adorable.
Dean: On the up-side, I'm still alive, so, uh, go team!
Sam: Basically they were all dicks.
Dean: So, you're saying I'm a dick?
Dean: I don't scare people.
Sam: Dean all we do is scare people.
Dean: Well, then you're a dick too.
Sam: Apparently I'm not.
Sam: Dude, you're going 20.
Dean: And?
Sam: That's the speed limit.
Dean: What? Safety's a crime now?
Sam: Dude, where are you going? That was our hotel.
Dean: Sam, I'm not going to make a left hand turn into on coming traffic. I'm not suicidal. Did I just say that? That's kind of weird.
Dean: Am I haunted? Am I haunted?
Dean: I mean, come on Sam. What are we doing?
Sam: We're hunting a ghost.
Dean: A ghost, exactly. Who does that?
Sam: Us.
Dean: Us, right. And that Sam is exactly why our lives suck. I mean come on, we hunt monsters. What the hell? Normal people, they see a monster and they run, not us. No, no, no we search out things that want to kill us, yeah, huh, or eat us. You know who does that? Crazy people. We are insane.
[pause]
Dean: And then there's the bad diner food. And the skeevy motel rooms. And then the truck stop waitress with the bizzare rash. I mean who wants this life Sam? Huh? Seriously? I mean do you actually like being stuck in a car with me eight hours a day every day? I don't think so. I mean, I drive too fast and listen to the same five albums over and over and over again and... and... and I sing along and I know I'm annoying and I know that. And you, you're gassy. You eat half a burrito and you're toxic. I mean, you know what?
[throws keys to Sam]
Dean: You can forget it.
Sam: Whoa, Dean. Where are you going?
Dean: Stay away from me, Sam. Okay? 'Cause I am done with it. I'm done with the monsters and the hellhounds and the ghost sickness and the damn apocalypse! I'm out. I'm done. I quit.
Sam: We've been ignoring the biggest clue we had. You...!
Dean:...I don't wanna be a clue!
Sam: [upon finding Dean in the parking lot of the motel] What are you doing waiting out here anyway?
Dean: Our room is on the fourth floor... That's high.
Bobby: So, are you ok with the whole hunting thing?
Dean: Yea, I'll hunt. I'll hunt anything. Let's go hunt right now!
Sam: Aww.
Bobby: He's adorable.
Sam: It's ghost sickness.
Dean: Ghost sickness?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: God, no.
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: I don't even know what that is.
Sam: How ya feelin'?
Dean: Awesome. It's nice to have my head on the chopping block again, I almost forgot what that feels like. It's friggin delightful.
Sam: Ready?
Dean: Yeah open it
(sam opens the locker)
Dean: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
(sam looks at Dean questionably
Dean:(chuckiling) That was scary!
4.7 Its The Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester
Sam: What about you? Find anything on the victim?
Dean: This Luke Wallace--he was so vanilla that he made vanilla seem spicy
Sam: Once he's raised, Samhain can do some raising of his own.
Dean: Raising what, exactly?
Sam: Dark, evil crap and lots of it. They follow him around like a friggin' Pied Piper.
Dean: So we're talking ghosts.
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Zombies.
Sam: Mm-hmm.
Dean: Leprechauns?
Sam: Dean...
Dean: Those little dudes are scary. Small hands.
Dean: Yeah, well, if you were a six-hundred-year hag and you could come any costume to come back in, wouldn't you go for a hot cheerleader? I would. Mmm.
Dean: I mean, come on, you're gonna wipe out a whole town for one little witch. Sounds to me like you're compensating for something
Dean: Well, are you gonna figure out a way to find this witch, or are you just gonna sit there fingering your bone?
Dean: "what the hell just happened?"
Sam: "Halloween lore. people used to wear mask to hide from Samhain, so i gave it a shot."
Dean: "you gave it a shot??.."
Castiel: You misunderstand me Dean. I'm not like you think. I was praying that you would choose to save the town.
Dean Winchester: You were?
Castiel: These people, they're all my father's creations. They're works of art. And yet, even though you stopped Samhain the seal was broken and we are one step closer to Hell on Earth for all creation. And that's not an expression Dean. It's literal. You of all people should appreciate what that means. Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul?
Dean Winchester: Okay.
Castiel: I'm not a hammer, as you say. I have questions. I-I have doubts. I don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore, whether you passed or failed here. But, in the coming months, you will have more decisions to make. I don't envy the weight that's on your shoulders, Dean. I truly don't.
Dean Winchester: [ghost throws Dean against the wall after he kills zombies] Zombie-ghost orgy, huh? Well, that's it. I'm torching everybody.
4.8 Wishful Thinking
Sam: (to Audrey)I'm really sorry to have to break this to you, but your bear is sick. Yeah, he's, he's got...
Dean: Lollipop disease.
Sam: Lollipop disease.
Dean: It's not uncommon for a bear his size, but see it's, it's contagious.
Sam: Yeah. So is there someone, maybe a grown up you can stay with while we treat him?
Teddy Bear: Look at this. You believe this crap?
Dean: Not really.
Teddy Bear: It is a terrible world. Why am I here?
Audrey: For tea parties!
Teddy Bear: Tea parties? Is that all there is? (starts crying
Dean: I got to tell you, I'm pretty disappointed.
Sam: You wanted to save naked women.
Dean: Darn right I wanted to save some naked women.
Dean: Or it's a Bigfoot. You know, and he's some kind of alcoholo-porno addict. Kind of like a deep-woods Duchovny.
Sam: Audrey, give us a second, okay?(Sam and Dean walk a short way down the hall and pause, clearly struggling)
Sam: (whispering) Are we - should we - uh - (glances toward Audrey, before quickly turning back) are we gonna kill this teddy bear?!
Dean: (also whispering) How, huh? Shoot it? Burn it?
Sam: I dunno, (glances back again) both?
Dean: Well we dunno if that's even gonna work, an' I don't want some giant, flaming, pissed off teddy on our hands.
Sam: Yeah. Besides, I get the feeling the bear isn't really the, y'know, core problem, here.
Dean: Run, Forrest! Run!
Dean Winchester: He's a girl-drink-drunk.
Sam Winchester: Look me in the eye and tell me you don't remember a thing from your time down under.
Dean Winchester: [Looks Sam in the eye] I don't remember a thing from my time down under. I don't remember Sam.
Sam Winchester: Are we-? Should we-? Uh-
[whispers]
Sam Winchester: Are we gonna kill this teddy bear?
Dean Winchester: How, huh? We shoot it, burn it?
Sam Winchester: I dont know. Both?
Dean Winchester: How do we even know that's gonna work? I mean, I don't want some giant, flaming, pissed-off teddy on our hands.
Audrey Elmer: All I ever wanted was a teddy which was big, real and talked. But now he's sad all the time - not ouch sad, but ouch in the head sad - says weird stuff and smells like the bus.
Dean Winchester: Um, little girl...
Audrey Elmer: [exasperated] Audrey.
Dean Winchester: Audrey, how exactly did your teddy become real?
Audrey Elmer: I wished for it.
Sam Winchester: You wished for it?
Audrey Elmer: At the wishing well.
Dean Winchester: I shouldn't have lied to you. I do remember everything that happened to me in the pit. Everything.
Sam Winchester: So, tell me about it.
Dean Winchester: No. I won't lie anymore, but I'm not gonna talk about it.
Sam Winchester: Dean, look, you can't just shoulder this thing alone. You gotta let me help.
Dean Winchester: How? You really think that a little heart-to-heart, some sharing and caring, is going to change anything? Huh? Somehow heal me? I'm not talking about a bad day here.
Sam Winchester: I know that.
Dean Winchester: The things that I saw, there aren't words, there is no forgetting, there's no making it better. Because it is right here,
[Points to head]
Dean Winchester: forever. You wouldn't understand and I could never make you understand. So I am sorry.
4.9 I Know What You Did Last Summer
Dean: That's Revelations.
Anna's Doctor: Since when does the Book of Revelations have jack-o-lanterns?
Dean: It's, uh… a little-known translation.
Dean: Well, you got a lot of nerve showing up anywhere near me.
Ruby: I just have some info, and then I'm gone.
Sam: What is it?
Ruby: I'm hearing a few whispers.
Dean: Ooh, great, demon whisperers--that's reliable.
Sam: You got something to say, say it.
Dean: Oh, I'm saying it--this sucks.
Sam: You're not pissed we're going after the girl. You’re pissed Ruby threw us the tip.
Dean: Right. 'Cause as far as you're concerned, the hell-bitch is practically family. Yeah, boy, something major must've happened while I was downstairs, 'cause I come back, and you're BFF with a demon?
Dean: So, they lock you up with a case of the crazies, when really you're just tuning into angel radio?
Anna: Yes. Thank you.
Dean: All right, so, I'm "girl, interrupted," and I know the score of the apocalypse, just busted out of the nut-box... Possibly using superpowers, by the way. Where do I go?
Sam: Anna? We're not gonna hurt you. We're here to help. My name is Sam. This is my brother, Dean.
Anna: Sam? Not Sam Winchester?
Sam: Uh, yeah.
Anna: And you're Dean. The Dean?
Dean: Well, yeah. The Dean, I guess.
Anna: It's really you. Oh, my god. The angels talk about you. You were in hell, but Castiel pulled you out, and some of them think you can help save us. And some of them don't like you at all. They talk about you all the time lately. I feel like I know you.
Dean: I guess I… you know.
Ruby: What?
Dean: I guess I owe you for… Sam. And I just wanted to… you know?
Ruby: Don't strain yourself.
Dean: Okay, then. Is the moment over? Good, 'cause that was awkward.
Dean Winchester: Sam!
Sam Winchester: Yeah?
Dean Winchester: To much information!
Sam Winchester: Hey, I told you I was coming clean.
Dean Winchester: Yeah, but now I feel dirty.
Psychologist: It's not uncommon for our patients to believe that monsters are real.
Dean Winchester: Well, that-that's just batty.
4.10 Heaven and Hell
Sam: You want Anna? Why?
Uriel: Out of the way.
Dean: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, I know she's wiretapping your angel chats or whatever, but it's no reason to gank her.
Uriel: Don't worry. I'll kill her gentle.
Dean: You're some heartless sons of bitches, you know that?
Uriel: Give us the girl.
Dean: Sorry. Get yourself another one. Try Jdate.
Sam: Where's Bobby?
Dean: Uh, the Dominican. He said we break anything, we buy it.
Sam: Is he working a job?
Dean: God, I hope so. Otherwise he's at Hedonism in a banana hammock and a trucker cap.
Sam: Now that's seared in my brain.
Sam: She was convinced that he wasn't her real daddy.
Dean: Who was? The plumber, hmmm? A little snake in the pipes?
Sam: Dude, you're confusing reality with porn again.
Dean: Don't normally see you off leash. Where's your boss?
Uriel: Castiel? Well, he's not here. You see, he has this weakness. He likes you.
(Anna kisses Dean)
Dean: What was that for?
Anna: You know, our last day on Earth, all that...
Dean: You're stealin' my best line.
(In the Impla, Ruby and Anna are sitting in the backseat. Dean glances up and smirks)
Ruby: What?
Dean: Nothin', it's just, an angel and a demon riding the backseat. It's like the set-up for a bad joke, or a Penthouse Forum letter.
Sam: Dude... Reality... Porn.
Dean: You call this reality?
(About giving Anna to the angels)
Dean: Well, then I guess I just have to be a pain in the pooper.
Uriel: No, there's more. You cut yourself a slice of angel food cake, didn't you? You did!
Dean: What do you care, any way. You're junkless down there aren't you, hmm, like a Ken doll?
Uriel: This isn't over.
Dean: Oh, it looks over to me, junkless.
Dean Winchester: They sliced and carved and tore me in ways that you- Until there was nothing left. And then suddenly, I would be whole again, like magic. Just so they could start in all over. And Alastair, at the end of every day, every one, he would come over and he would make me an offer to take me off the rack if I put souls on. If I started the torture. And every day I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For thirty years I told him. But then I couldn't do it anymore, Sammy. I couldn't. Then I got off that rack, God help me I got right off it, and I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls. The things that I did to them.
Sam Winchester: Dean... Dean, look you held out for thirty years. That's longer than any one would've.
Dean Winchester: How I feel, this... inside me, I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing.
Dean Winchester: It wasn't four months, you know.
Sam Winchester: What?
Dean Winchester: It was four months up here, but down there... I don't know, time's different. It was more like forty years.
Dean Winchester: [to Uriel, about Anna's Grace] Why don't you just give her back her angel juice?
Dean Winchester: Can I ask you something? What do they want me for? Why did they save me?
Anna Milton: I'm sorry. The angels aren't talking about it, and it was after I fell.
Dean Winchester: That's another question. Why would you fall? Why would you want to be one of us?
Anna Milton: You don't mean that.
Dean Winchester: I don't? A bunch of, of miserable bastards, I mean, eating, crapping, confused, afraid...
Anna Milton: I dunno, there's loyalty, forgiveness... love?
Dean Winchester: Pain?
Anna Milton: Chocolate cake.
Dean Winchester: Guilt?
Anna Milton: [firmly] Sex.
Dean Winchester: Yeah, you got me there.
Anna Milton: I mean it. Every emotion, Dean. Even the bad ones. It's why I fell. It's why... why I'd give *anything* not to have to go back. Anything.
Dean Winchester: Feelings are overrated if you ask me.
Anna Milton: Beats being an angel.
Dean Winchester: How's that possible? You guys are powerful, perfect. You don't doubt yourselves. Or God, or anything!
Anna Milton: Perfect! Like a marble statue. Cold, no choice, only obedience? Dean, do you know how many angels have actually *seen* God? Seen his face?
Dean Winchester: [shrugs] All of you?
Anna Milton: Four angels. Four. And I'm not one of them.
Dean Winchester: That's it? Well then how do you even know that there is a God?
Anna Milton: We have to take it on faith. Which we're killed if we don't have.
Dean Winchester: Huh.
Anna Milton: I was stationed on Earth, two thousand years. Just... watching. Silent, invisible... out on the road, *sick* for home, waiting on orders from an unknowable Father I can't begin to understand, so don't tell me that...
[Dean chuckles]
Anna Milton: What is so funny? What?
Dean Winchester: Nothing, sorry, it's just... I can relate.
4.11 Family Remains
Dean: Boy, three bedrooms, two baths, and one homicide. This place is going to sell like hotcakes.
Sam: It's probably a dumbwaiter. All these old houses had them.
Dean: Know-it-all.
Sam: What?
Dean: What?
Sam: You said…
Dean: What?
Sam: Never mind.
Mrs. Curry: I already told the local boys, there was blood… everywhere.
Dean: And Mr. Gibson, where was he?
Mrs. Curry: Everywhere
Dean: What kind of ghost messes with a man's wheels?!?
Dean: Dog: it's what's for dinner.
Dean: Rent "Juno," get over it.
Dean: Please nobody grab my leg, please nobody grab my leg!
Sam: You were in Hell, Dean. Maybe you did what you did there...but you're not them. They were barely human.
Dean: No, you're right. I wasn't like them. I was worse. They were animals, Sam. Defending territory. Me? I did it for the sheer pleasure.
Sam: What?
Dean: I enjoyed it, Sam. they took me off the rack, and I tortured souls, and I liked it. All those years; all that pain. Finally getting to deal some out yourself...I didn't care who they put in front of me, because that pain I felt, that just slipped away. No matter how many people I save, I can't change that. I can't fill this hole. Not ever.
Danny: You hunt ghosts?
Dean: That's right.
Danny: Like Scooby-Doo?
Dean: Better.
(seeing the family in the haunted house)
Dean: Crap! So, what now?
Sam: We could tell them the truth.
Dean: Really?
Sam: No, not really.
Dean: Well, that's super-Disturbing.
Sam: Think it got left behind?
Dean: By who? Unless bill Gibson likes to play with doll heads.
4.12 Criss Angel Is A Douche Bag
Sam: What are you doing here, Ruby?
Ruby: I should be asking you the same thing.
Sam: I'm working a job.
Ruby: The whole world's about to be engulfed in hellfire, and you're here in Magictown, U.S.A.
Sam: You got something against magic?
Dean: I can't believe people actually fall for that crap.
Sam: It's not all crap.
Dean: What part of that was not a steaming pile of B.S.?
Sam: Do you think we will?
Dean: What?
Sam: Die before we get old.
Dean: Haven't we both already?
Sam: You know what I mean, Dean. I mean, do you think we'll still be chasing demons when we're 60.
Dean: No. I think we'll be dead. For good. Why, do you want to end up like... like Travis? Or Gordon, maybe?
Sam: There's Bobby.
Dean: Oh yeah, there's a poster child for growing old gracefully.
Chief: You are really gonna get it tonight, big boy.
Dean: There's been a misunderstanding. I, uh, think I've been had.
Chief: Oh, you ain't been had, till you been had by the Chief. Oh, and before we get started, what's your safe word
Dean: What a douchebag.
Sam: That's Jeb Dexter.
Dean: I don't even want to know how you know that.
Sam: He's famous, kind of.
Dean: For what, douchebaggery?
Vernon: What a douchebag.
Dean: Couldn’t agree more.
Sam: Wow, it’s like a magic museum.
Dean: You must be in heaven.
4.13 After School Special
Young Dean: Kid's dead.
Young Sam: Dean.
Young Dean: I'm gonna rip his lungs out!
Young Sam: It's not a big deal.
Young Dean: Not a big deal? Sammy, look at yourself. If Dad was here...
Young Sam: He's not.
Young Dean: Well, I am. As soon as I'm finished with that dick...
Young Sam: Just shut up, okay? I don't need your help.
Young Dean: That's right, you don't. You could've torn him apart, so why didn't you?
Young Sam: Because I don't want to be the freak for once, Dean. I want to be normal.
Young Sam: Any word from Dad?
Young Dean: He called this morning, says it's going to be another week, at least. We weren't supposed to be here this long.
Young Sam: At least you got Amanda. She's cool.
Young Dean: Dude, she wants me to meet her parents. I don't do parents.
Dean: So what's our cover? FBI, Homeland Security, Swedish exchange students?
Dean: Today you will have the honor of playing one of the greatest games ever invented. A game of skill, agility, cunning. A game with one simple rule. Dodge. (nails kid with ball) Sorry.
(an athlete collapses on top of Sam)
Sam: Little help.
Dean: He's giving you the full cowgirl.
Sam: Having fun?
Dean: (impersonating a gym teacher) The whistle makes me their god.
Sam: Right... nice shorts!
Dean: I had to break into the principal's office to get this. Oh, and FYI, three of the cheerleaders are legal. Guess which ones.
Sam: No
Dean: All right, everybody stay where you are. You'll be okay.
Jock on Bus: Aren't you the P.E. teacher?
Dean: Not really. I'm like 21 Jump Street. The bus driver sells pot. Yeah.
Dean: Well, we'd really like to pay our respects, Mr. McGregor. Umm, you mind tell us where Dirk is buried.
Dirk McGregor Sr.: Oh, he wasn't. I had him cremated.
Dean: All of him?
Dirk McGregor Sr.: Well, I kept a lock of his hair.
Dean: Oh, that's... that's nice. Where do you keep that?
Dean: Ghost getting creative--well, that's super.
Dean: That ghost is dead. I'm gonna to rip its lungs out! Well, you know what I mean.
Dean: Go have your Robin Williams "Oh Captain! my Captain!" moment.
Sam: How's the non-violence assembly going?
Dean: Apparently shoving a kid's arm into a Cuisinart is not a "healthy display of anger."
4.14 Sex and Violence
Dean: Did you sleep with her?
Sam: No
Dean: Holy crap, you did. Middle of Basic Instinct and you bang Sharon Stone. Sam, you could be under her spell right now.
Sam: Dude, I'm not under her spell
Dean: Unbelievable, man, I just don't get it
Sam: What?
Dean: Nothing
Sam: No, say it.
Dean: Nah, it's just first it's Madison and then Ruby and now Cara. It's like what is it with you and bangin' monsters?
Nick: Dean's all mine.
Sam: You poisoned him
Nick: Nah I gave him what he needed. And it wasn't some bitch in a G-string. It was you. A little brother that looked up to him. That he could trust. And now he loves me, he'd do anything for me.
Sam: What do you think? She infects them during sex?
Bobby: Maybe
Dean: Supernatural STD.
Dean: You're up early. What're you doing?
Sam: Nothing. I was in the can.
Dean: Yeah?
Sam: Yeah. Want me to draw you a picture?
Dean: No, I'll pass.
Mr. Benson: Her name was... Jasmine.
Sam: She was a stripper?
Dean: Dude, her name was Jasmine.
Sam: You seem pretty cheery.
Dean: Strippers, Sammy. Strippers! We are on an actual case involving strippers. Finally!
Sam: Dean, look, you know I didn’t mean the things I said back there, right? That it was just the Sirens spell talking?
Dean: Of course, me too.
Sam: Ok. So...so we’re good?
Dean: Yeah, we’re good.
4.15 Death Takes A Holiday
Sam Winchester: Let's talk to someone who might.
Dean Winchester: Well, last I checked Huggy Bear ain't available.
Sam Winchester: No dude, the kid.
Dean Winchester: The kid? The kid's a doornail.
Sam Winchester: Exactly. Look, if he's the last person to die around here, then maybe he's seen something. We should talk to him.
Dean Winchester: I love how matter of fact you are about that. Strange lives.
Sam Winchester: What?
Dean Winchester: This job is jacked, that's what.
Sam Winchester: How so?
Dean Winchester: You want me to gank a monster or torch a corpse? Hey let's light it up, right? But-but this? If we fix whatever this is, people are gonna start dropping dead. Good people.
Sam Winchester: Look, I don't want 'em to die either, Dean, but there's a natural order.
Dean Winchester: You're kidding, right?
Sam Winchester: What?
Dean Winchester: You don't see the irony in that? I mean, you and me, we're like the poster boys of the unnatural order. All we do is ditch death.
Sam Winchester: Yeah, but the normal rules don't really apply to us, do they?
Dean Winchester: We're no different than anybody else.
Sam Winchester: I'm infected with demon blood. You've been to Hell. Look, I know you wanna think of yourself as Joe the plumber Dean, but you're not. Neither am I. The sooner you accept that, the better off you're gonna be.
Dean Winchester: Joe the plumber was a douche.
Dean Winchester: [as a spirit, sticks his hand through Sam] Am I making you uncomfortable?
Sam Winchester: Get out of me.
Dean Winchester: You're such a prude.
Dean Winchester: Dude, you are so Amityville!
[about simulating being a ghost]
Dean Winchester: Oh, I'm so feeling up Demi Moore!
Pamela: Tell me something, geniuses. Even if you do break into the Veil and you find the Reaper. how are you going to save it?
Dean: With style and class.
Tessa: You don't remember me?
Dean: Honestly, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a girl say that…
Dean: How the hell are we supposed to fight that?
Sam: I don't know. Learn some ghost moves?
Dean: By tonight? Yeah, sure. I'll meet you back at Mr. Miygai's.
Cole: Who's Mr. Miyagi?
Dean: What the hell?
Castiel: Guess again.
4.16 On the Head Of A Pin
Castiel: You need to be more careful.
Dean: You need to learn how to manage a damn devil's trap.
Alastair: You know, it was supposed to be your father. He was supposed to bring it on. But in the end, it was you.
Dean: Bring what on?
Alastair: Every night, same offer, remember? Same as your father, and finally you said sign me up. Oh, the first time you picked up my razor, the first time you sliced into that weeping *****. That was the first seal.
Dean: You're lying.
Alastair: And it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in hell. As he breaks, so shall it break. We had to break the first seal before any others, only way to get the dominos to fall, right? Top of the one at the front of the line. When we win, when we bring on the Apocalypse and burn this earth down, we owe it all to you, Dean Winchester. Believe me, son, I wouldn't lie about that. It's kinda a religious sort of thing, I think.
Dean: No, I don't think you are lying. But even if the demons do win, you won't be there to see it
Castiel: I know our fate rests with you.
Dean: Then you guys are screwed. I can't do it, Cass, it's too big. Alastair was right. I'm not a hero, I'm not strong enough. Well I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me
Dean: Home, crappy home.
Uriel: Winchester and Winchester
Dean: Oh, come on!
Uriel: You are needed.
Dean: Needed? We just got back from needed!
Uriel: Now, you mind your tone with me.
Dean: No, you mind your damn tone with us.
Sam: We just got back from Pamela's funeral.
Dean: Pamela, you know, psychic Pamela? You remember her. Cass, you remember her. You burned her eyes out. Remember that? Good times!
Dean: You guys don't walk enough. You're gonna get flabby. You know, I'm starting to think Junkless has a better sense of humor than you do.
Castiel: Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone.
4.17 It's A Terrible Life
Dean: You broke into their e-mail accounts?
Sam: I used some skills that I happen to have to satisfy my curiosity.
Dean Nice.
Dean: Oh, so what? This was all some sort of a lesson? Is that what you're telling me? Wow. Very creative.
Zachariah: You should see my decoupage.
Dean: Gross... no thank you.
Sam: Can I ask you a question?
Dean: Look, man, I told you, I'm not into the, uh...
Sam: Oh dude, come on, I'm not either. I just wanna ask you one question.
Zachariah: Real place, real haunting. Just plunked you in the middle without the benefit of your memories.
Dean: Just to shake things up? So you guys can have fun watching us run around like assclowns in monkey suits!?
Zachariah: To prove to you that the path you're on is truly in your blood. You're a Hunter. Not because your dad made you, not because God called you back from Hell, but because it is what you are and you love it, you'll find you to it in the dark every single time and you're miserable without it. Dean, let's be real here. You're good at this.
Zachariah: You'll do everything you're destined to do, all of it. But I know, I know, you're not strong enough, you're scared, you got daddy issues, you can't do it, right?
Dean: Angel or not, I will stab you in your face.
Dean: Should we go check this out?
Sam: Like... right now?
Dean: No. No, it's getting late. You're right.
Sam: I am dying to check this out right now.
Dean: Right?
Dean: We do what I do best, Sammy. Research.
Sam: Okay. Did you just call me "Sammy"?
Dean: Did I?
Sam: I think you did. Yeah. Don't.
Sam: I just can't shake this feeling like I... like I don't belong here. You know what I mean? Like I should do something more than sit in a cubicle.
Dean: I think most people who work in a cubicle feel that same way.
Dean: How would we live? Come on, you got to be kidding me. How would we get by--with stolen credit cards, huh? Eating diner food drenched in saturated fats? Sharing a crap motel room every night?
Sam: Those are details.
Dean: Details are everything! You don't want to go fighting ghosts without any health insurance.
4.18 The Monster at the End of This Book
Castiel: You must understand why I can't intercede. Prophets are very special, they're protected.
Dean Winchester: I get that.
Castiel: If anything threatens a prophet, anything at all, an archangel will appear to destroy that threat. Archangels are fierce, they're absolute, they're heaven's most terrifying weapon.
Dean Winchester: And these archangels, they're tied to prophets?
Castiel: Yes.
Dean Winchester: So if a prophet was in the same room as a demon...?
Castiel: Then the most fearsome wrath of heaven would rain down on that demon.
[giving a knowing look]
Castiel: Just so you understand why I can't help.
Dean Winchester: Thanks, Cas.
Castiel: Good luck.
Dean Winchester: Okay, well then how 'bout this? I've got a gun in my pocket, and if you don't come with me, I'll blow your brains out.
Chuck Shurley: I thought you said I was protected by an archangel?
Dean Winchester: Huh, interesting exercise. Let's see who the quicker draw is.
Dean Winchester: I'm sitting in a laundry-mat, reading about myself... sitting in a laundry-mat reading about myself. My head hurts.
Dean Winchester: [Reading on the computer] There are 'Sam girls' and 'Dean girls' and... what's a slash fan?
Sam Winchester: As in Sam/Dean... together.
Dean Winchester: Like together-together?
Sam Winchester: Yeah.
Dean Winchester: [Horrified] They do know we're brothers, right?
Sam Winchester: Doesn't seem to matter.
Dean Winchester: Oh, come on, that... that's just sick...
Dean: (reading a Supernatural book This is freakin' insane. How does this guy know all this stuff?
Sam: You got me.
Dean: Everything is in here, I mean everything, from the racist truck to me having sex. I'm full frontal in here, dude
Sam: Well, we're hoping that our article can... shine a light on an underappreciated series.
Sera: Yeah! Yeah, because, you know, if we got a little bit of good press, then maybe we could start publishing again!
Dean: No, no, no, no. God no. I mean, why, why would you want to do that? You know, it's uh...such a complete series. What with Dean going to Hell and all.
Sera: Oh my God, that was one of my favorite ones because Dean was so... strong and sad and brave. And Sam... oh, I mean the best parts are when they cry, you know, like in... like in "Heart." When Sam had to kill Madison, the first woman since Jessica he really loved. And in "Home," when Dean had to call John and ask him for help. If only real men were so open and in touch with their feelings.
Dean: Real men?
Sera: Oh... I mean, no offense. How often do you cry like that, hmm?
Dean: Well, right now I'm crying on the inside.
Sera: Is that supposed to be funny?
Dean: Lady, this whole thing is funny.
Dean: (reading) "Sam turned his back on Dean. His face brooding and pensive." I mean, I don't know how this guy is doing it but this guy is doing it. I can't see your face but those are definitely your pensive and brooding shoulders. (Sam pauses) You just thought I was a dick.
Sam: This guy's good.
Dean: It frustrates me when you say such reckless things.
Sam: Well, it frustrates me when you'd rather hide than fight.
Dean: Behave yourself, would you? No homework. Watch some porn.
Castiel: Dean, let him go! This man is to be protected.
Dean: Why?
Castiel: He’s a prophet of the Lord.
Chuck: You - you’re Castiel. Aren’t you?
Castiel: It’s an honour to meet you, Chuck. I admire your work.
Dean: Whoa whoa whoa. What, this guy, a prophet? Come on! He’s practically a penthouse forum writer!(to Chuck)Did you know about this?
Chuck: I uh - I might have dreamt about it.
Dean: And you didn’t tell us?
Chuck: It was too preposterous. Not to mention arrogant! I mean, writing yourself into the story is one thing, but as a prophet? That’s like M. Night level douchiness.
4.19 Jump The Shark
Adam: He's a mechanic, right?
Dean: A car fell on him
Dean: I'm starving, lets get breakfast.
Sam: Where? We're like two hours from anything.
Dean: But I'm hungry now.
Sam: There is probably still a sandwich in the backseat.
Dean: It's tuna.
Adam: Okay, so basically you're saying that every movie monster, every nightmare that I've ever had, that's all real.
Dean: Godzilla's just a movie
Dean: Adam doesn't have to be cursed.
Sam: He's a Winchester. He's already cursed.
Graveyard Caretaker: Tell me, Agent Nugent, have you thought about where you might like to spend eternity?
Dean: All the damn time.
Adam: How can I help?
Dean: You can't.
Adam: This thing killed my mom. If you're hunting it, I want in.
Dean: No.
Sam: Dean, look maybe...
Dean: (interrupting) Maybe what?
Sam: He lost his mother. Maybe we can understand what that feels like.
Dean: Why do you think dad never told us about this kid, Sam, huh? Why do you think he ripped out the pages?
Sam: Because...
Dean: (interrupting) Because he was protecting him!
Sam: Dad's dead, Dean.
Dean: It doesn't matter! He didn't want Adam to have our lives, okay? And we're gonna respect his wishes.
Adam: Do I get a say in this?
Dean: No!
Sam: No.
Dean: You know I finally get why you and dad butted heads so much. You two are practically the same person. I mean I worshipped the guy, y'know: I dressed like him, I acted like him, I listened to the same music. But you are more like him than I will ever be. I see that now.
Sam: I'll take that as a compliment.
Dean: You can take it any way you want.
4.20 The Rapture
Amelia/Demon: And you know what's funny?
Dean: You wearing a soccer mom?
Castiel: We need to talk.
Dean: I'm dreaming, aren't I?
Castiel: It's not safe here... someplace more private.
Dean: More private? We're inside my head.
Castiel: Exactly. Someone could be listening
Anna: You let Jimmy get away?
Dean: (about Sam) Talk to Ginormo here.
Dean: Cas you okay?
Jimmy: Castiel - I’m not Castiel. It’s me.
Sam: Who’s me?
Jimmy: Jimmy - my name’s Jimmy.
Dean: Where the hell is Castiel?
Jimmy: He’s gone.
Dean: What were you doing anyway?
Sam: I went for a Coke.
Dean: Was it a refreshing Coke?
Dean: Cas, hold up. What were you going to tell me?
Castiel: I learned my lesson while I was away Dean. I serve Heaven, I don't serve man. And I certainly don't serve you.
Sam:You have to come with us.
Jimmy:How long? And don't give me that "cross that bridge when we get to it" crap.
Sam: Don't you get it? Forever. The demons will never stop. You can never be with your family. So, you either get as far away from them as possible. Or you put a bullet in your head, And that's how you keep your family safe. But there's no getting out and there's no going home.
Dean: Don't sugarcoat it, Sam.
4.21 When The Levee Breaks
Dean: Congrats, Sammy. You just bought yourself a benchwarmer seat to the Apocalypse.
Dean: How long is this gonna go on?
Bobby: Here, let me look it up in my demon-detox manual. Oh, wait. No one ever wrote one
Dean: Well, it's about time. I've been screaming myself hoarse out here for about two and a half hours now.
Castiel: What do you want?
Dean: Well, you can start with what the hell happened in Illinois?
Castiel: What do you mean?
Dean: Cut the crap. You were gonna tell me something.
Castiel: Well, nothing of import.
Dean: You got ass-reamed in Heaven but it was not "of import"?
Dean: Yeah, well, I'll tell you one thing. At this point, I hope he's with Ruby.
Bobby: Why?
Dean: 'Cause killing her is the next big item on my to-do list.
Bobby: I thought you were on call for angel duty.
Sam: Stop bossing me around, Dean! Look, my whole life you take the wheel, you call the shots, and I trust you because you are my brother. And now, I'm asking you, for once, trust me.
Dean: No. You don't know what you're doing, Sam.
Sam: Yes, I do!
Dean: Then that's worse!
Sam: Why?
Dean: Because it's not something that you're doing, it's what you are! It means...
Sam: What? Say it!
Dean: It means you're a monster.
Dean: If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back.
4.22 Lucifer Rising
Dean: I'm not sure if he's my brother any more. If he ever was.
Bobby: You stupid stupid son of a bitch! Well boo hoo. I am so sorry your feelings are hurt... princess! Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good? Make you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family.
Zachariah: Try a burger. They're your favorite. From that seaside shack in Delaware. You were eleven, I think.
Dean: I'm not hungry.
Zachariah: No? How about Ginger from Season 2 of Gilligan's Island? You've do have a thing for her, don't you?
Dean: Tempting. Weird.
Zachariah: We'll throw in Mary Ann for free.
Dean: No, no.
Dean: I need you to take me to see Sam.
Castiel: Why?
Dean: There's something I have to talk to him about.
Castiel: What's that?
Dean: The BM I took this morning. What's it to you? Make it snappy.
Dean: What's this supposed to be, the suite life of Zach and Cas?
Dean: Tell me something. Where's God in all this?
Zachariah: God? God has left the building.
Castiel: You can't reach him, Dean. You're outside your cover so...
Dean: What are you gonna do to Sam?
Castiel: Nothing. He's gonna do it to himself.
Dean: What's that supposed to mean? All right. You're gonna tow the company line.Why are you here, Cas?
Castiel: We've been through much you and I, I just wanted to say I'm sorry it ended like this.
Dean: Sorry? (Dean hits Castiel) It's Armagedon, Cas! You need a bigger word than sorry!
Castiel: You try to understand - this is long foretold. This is your...
Dean: Destiny? Don't give me that "holy" crap. Destiny, God's plan... It's all a bunch of lies, you poor, stupid son of a bitch! It's just a way for your bosses to keep me and keep you in line! You know what's real? People, families - that's real. And you're gonna watch them all burn?
Castiel: What is worth saving?! I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion... In Paradise all is forgiven. You'll be at peace. Even with Sam.
Dean: You can take your peace... and shove it up your lily-white ass. 'Cause I'll take the pain and the guilt. I'll even take Sam as is. It's a lot better than being some Stepford bitches in Paradise. This is simple, Cas! No more crap about being a good soldier. There's a right and there's a wrong here and you know it. Look at me! You know it. You were gonna help me once, weren't you? You were gonna warn me about all this before they drug you back to Bible camp. Help me now. PLEASE!
Castiel: What would you have me do?
Dean: Get me to Sam! We can stop this before it's too late.
Castiel: I do that we'll all be hunted. We'll all be killed.
Dean: If there's anything worth dying for... this is it. .. (Castiel shakes his head) You spineless, soulless son of a bitch! What do you care about dying? You're already dead. We're done.
Castiel: Dean!
Dean: We're done!!!
Season FIVE
5.1 Sympathy For the Devil
Castiel: Lucifer is cirling his vessel and once he takes it, those hex bags wont be enough to protect you.
Dean: What the hell was that?
Castiel: The ??? Sigil. it will hide you from every Angel in Creation, including Lucifer.
Dean: What d'you just brand us with it?
Castiel: No. I carved it into your ribs
Dean: Oh yeah... life as an angel condom. That's real fun. I think i'll pass thanks.
Dean: Oh thank God. The angels are here.
Dean: Where's Cas?
Chuck: He's dead... Or gone... The archangel smote the crap out of him, I'm sorry.
Dean: Are you sure? I mean, maybe he just vanished into the light or something.
Chuck: Oh, no. He like exploded... Like a water balloon of chunky soup.
Zachariah: I see you told the demons where the sword is.
Dean: Oh thank God, the Angels are here.
Dean: What do you mean I'm the sword?
Zachariah: Your Michael's weapon, or rather is recptical.
Dean: I'm a vessel?
Zachariah: Your THE vessel. Michael's vessel.
Dean: How.. why me?
Zachariah: Because your chosen. Its a great honor Dean.
Dean: Oh yeah.. life as an Angel condom... That's real fun. I think I'll pass, thanks.
Castiel: You two need to be more careful.
Dean: Yeah, I'm starting to get that. Your frat brothers are bigger dicks than I thought.
Sam: So let me ask the million dollar question: What do we do now?
Bobby: Well, we save as many as we can for as long as we can. Its bad, and whoever wins, Heaven or Hell, we're boned.
Dean: What if we do win? I'm serious. Screw the Angels and the Demons and their crap apocalypse. Now if they wanna fight a war, they can find their own planet. This ones ours, and I say they get the hell off it. We take em all on. we kill the Devil, hell, we even kill Michael if we have to, but we do it our own **** selves.
Bobby: and how are we suppose to do all this genius?
Dean: I got no idea. but what I do have is a GED and a give-em-hell attitude and I'll figure it out.
Bobby: you are nine kinds of crazy boy.
Dean: Its been said.
Chuck (after hitting Sam with a plunger): Sam! Sam, you're okay!
Sam: Well, my head hurts
Chuck: Well, well, my last vision you were like full on Vader! Your body temperature was 150 your heart rate was 200, your eyes were black!
Dean: Your eyes were black?
Sam =( : I didn't know.
Dean: Where's Cas?
Chuck: He's dead, gone, the Archangel smoked the crap out of him. I'm sorry.
Dean: You're sure? Maybe he just backed into the lights or something.
Chuck: Oh no no ... he's a ... he like exploded ... like a water balloon with chunky soup.
Sam (trying to tell Chuck he's got something in his hair): You got a ....
Chuck: Right here?
Sam (points to the other side): No no, the other...
Chuck (pulls out the tooth): Oh God ... is that a molar? Do I have molar in my hair! ... This has been a really stressful day.
Dean (referring to Cas dying): God**** you stupid bastard.
Sam: Stupid! He was trying to help us.
Dean: Yeah exactly ...
Sam: So what now?
Dean: I don't know!
Chuck: Crap.
Dean: What?
Chuck: I can feel them!
Sam: Who?!
Zachariah: What, you thought you could actually kill Lucifer? You simpering wad of insecurity and self-loathing? No. You're just a human, Dean. And not much one of them.
Dean Winchester: What do you mean, I'm the sword?
Zachariah: Michael's weapon. Or, rather, his... receptacle.
Dean Winchester: I'm a vessel?
Zachariah: You're "the" vessel. Michael's vessel.
Dean Winchester: How? Why? Why me?
Zachariah: Because you're chosen! It's a great honor, Dean.
Dean Winchester: Oh, yeah. Yeah, life as an Angel condom. That's real fun!
[Zachariah has been threatening and tormenting Dean; Castiel appears and kills the other angels with a silver stiletto]
Zachariah: How are you...?
Castiel: Alive? It's a good question.
[indicating Dean and Sam]
Castiel: How did these two end up on that airplane? Another good question, because the angels didn't do it. I think we both know the answer, don't we?
Zachariah: No... It's not possible.
Castiel: [fiercely] It scares you. Well, it should. Now, put these boys back together, and go. I won't ask twice.
[Zachariah disappears; the brothers recover]
Castiel: You two need to be more careful.
Dean Winchester: Yeah, starting to get that. Your frat brothers are bigger dicks than I thought.
Castiel: I don't mean the angels. Lucifer is circling his vessel, and once he takes it those hex bags won't be enough to protect you.
[he touches their chests, the brothers flinch and groan]
Dean Winchester: What the hell was that?
Castiel: An Enochian sigil. It'll hide you from every angel in creation. Including Lucifer.
Dean Winchester: What, did you just brand us with it?
Castiel: No, I carved it into your ribs.
[pause while they take this in]
Sam Winchester: Hey Cas, were you really dead?
[a beat]
Castiel: Yes.
Dean Winchester: Then how are you back?
[Castiel looks at them for a moment, not answering, then vanishes with a sound of wingbeats]
Dean Winchester: [angrily] You listen to me, you two-faced douche. After what you did, I don't want jack-squat from you!
Zachariah: You listen to *me*, boy. You think you can rebel against us? As Lucifer did?
[looks down, sees blood dripping from Dean's hand]
Zachariah: You're bleeding...
Dean Winchester: [looks down] Oh yeah. A little insurance policy in case you dicks showed up.
[whips the sliding door out, revealing the angel-banishing sigil]
Zachariah: [lurching forward] No...!
[Dean slams his palm onto the sigil; the angels vanish in a flash of light]
Dean Winchester: [to the empty air] Learned that from my friend Cas, you sonofabitch.
5.2 Good God Y'all
Castiel: I don't have much time, we need to talk.
Dean Winchester: Okay.
Castiel: Your plan, to kill Lucifer.
Dean Winchester: Yeah, you wanna help?
Castiel: No. It's foolish. It can't be done.
Dean Winchester: Oh, well thanks for the support.
Castiel: But I believe I have the solution. There is someone besides Michael, strong enough to take on Lucifer. Strong enough to stop the Apocalypse.
Sam Winchester: Who's that?
Castiel: The one who resurrected me and put you on that airplane. The one who began everything. God.
[pause, the brothers look at him in disbelief]
Castiel: I'm gonna find God.
Dean Winchester: God?
Castiel: Yes.
Dean Winchester: [disbelieving] God.
Castiel: Yes! He isn't in Heaven; he has to be somewhere.
Dean Winchester: Try New Mexico, I hear he's on a tortilla.
[a beat as the joke goes over Castiel's head]
Castiel: No, he's not on any flatbread.
Dean Winchester: Listen chuckles, even if there is a God, he is either dead, and that's the generous theory...
Castiel: He is out there, Dean.
Dean Winchester: ...or, he's up and kicking, and doesn't give a rat's ass about any of us. I mean look around you man, the world is in the toilet! We are *literally* at the End of Days here, and he's off somewhere, drinkin' booze out of a coconut! Alright?
Castiel: Enough! This is not a theological issue, it's strategic. With God's help, we *can* win.
Dean Winchester: It's a pipe dream, Cas.
Castiel: [advancing, furious] I killed two angels this week. Those are my brothers. I'm hunted, I rebelled, and I did it, all of it, for you, and you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world, and I lost everything... for nothing.
[pause, Dean and Sam look uncomfortable]
Castiel: So keep your opinions to yourself.
Dean: [about Bobby] We gotta cheer him up. Maybe I'll give him a back rub.
Sam: I'm in no shape to be hunting. I think it's best we go our separate ways.
Dean: I think you're right. [Sam makes a face] What?
Sam: I expected a fight.
Dean: Fact is, I spend more time worrying about you than doing the job. I can't afford that right now.
Dean: Try New Mexico, I hear God is on a tortilla.
Castiel: No, God is not on flatbread.
5.3 Free to be You and Me
Dean: Me and Sam are taking separate vacations for a while.
[after discussing about trapping the Archangel Raphael]
Dean Winchester: Do we have any chance of surviving this?
Castiel: You do.
Dean Winchester: So, odds are you are a dead man tomorrow.
Castiel: Yes.
Dean Winchester: Wow. Well, last night on earth. What, uh what are your plans?
Castiel: I just thought I'd sit here quietly.
Dean Winchester: Dude, come on. Anything? Booze? Women?
[Castiel looks away uncomfortable]
Dean Winchester: You have been with a women before? Right? Or an angel, at least?
[Castiel shifts nervously in his seat, embarrassed]
Dean Winchester: You mean to tell me you've never been up there doing a little cloud seating?
Castiel: I never had occasion, okay?
Dean Winchester: All right. Let me tell you something. There are two things that I know for certain. One. Bert and Ernie are gay. Two. You are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch. Let's go.
[Castiel looks around uncertain, gets up and follows]
Dean Winchester: So, find God yet? More importantly, can I have my damn necklace back, please?
Castiel: No, I haven't found him. That's why I'm here. I need your help.
Dean Winchester: With what? A god hunt? I'm not interested.
Castiel: It's not God. Someone else.
Dean Winchester: Who?
Castiel: It's an archangel. The one who killed me.
Dean Winchester: Excuse me?
Castiel: His name is Raphael.
Dean Winchester: You were wasted by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Angel?
Dean Winchester: We're here why?
Castiel: A deputy sheriff laid eyes on the archangel.
Dean Winchester: And he still has eyes? All right, what's the plan?
Castiel: [shrugs] We'll... tell the officer that he witnessed an Angel of the Lord, and the officer will tell us where the angel is.
Dean Winchester: You're serious? You're gonna walk in there and tell him the truth?
Castiel: [confused] Why not?
[Dean slips an FBI badge into Castiel's inside pocket, fusses with his shirt and tie]
Dean Winchester: Because... we're humans. And when humans want something, really really bad... we lie.
Castiel: [puzzled] Why?
Dean Winchester: Because... that's how you become president.
Dean Winchester: [about finding Raphael] You're serious about this. So what, I'm Thelma and you're Louise and we're just gonna hold hands and drive off this cliff together?
[pause while Castiel looks at him]
Dean Winchester: Look, gimme one good reason why I should do this.
Castiel: Because you're Michael's vessel, and no angel will dare harm you.
Dean Winchester: Oh, so I'm your bullet shield!
Castiel: I need your help, because you are the only one who'll help me. Please.
[Castiel looks at him pleadingly]
Dean Winchester: All right fine. Where is he?
Castiel: Maine. Let's go.
[reaches two fingers toward Dean's forehead]
Dean Winchester: [flinching back] Whoa whoa!
Castiel: What?
Dean Winchester: Last time you zapped me someplace, I didn't poop for a week! We're driving.
[Dean and Cas are in a brothel; Castiel looks very, very nervous]
Dean Winchester: Hey, relax.
Castiel: This is a den of iniquity. I should not be here.
Dean Winchester: Dude, you full-on rebelled against Heaven. Iniquity is one of the perks!
[a courtesan comes over]
Dean Winchester: Showtime.
Courtesan: [to Cas] Hi. What's your name?
[Castiel hesitates, looking more and more nervous]
Castiel: Cas!
[Castiel jumps]
Castiel: His name's Cas. What's your name?
Courtesan: Chastity.
Dean Winchester: Chastity.
Courtesan: Mm-hm.
Dean Winchester: Wow.
[to Cas, grinning]
Dean Winchester: Is that kismet or what, buddy?
[Castiel takes a long pull of beer]
Dean Winchester: Well, he like you and you like him, so...
Courtesan: [taking Castiel's hand] C'mon baby.
Dean Winchester: [grabbing Castiel's elbow] Oh hey, listen.
[taking out a wad of bills]
Dean Winchester: Take this. If she asks for a credit card, no. Now just stick to the basics, okay? Do not order off the menu. Go get her, Tiger.
[Cas looks helplessly panicked]
Dean Winchester: Don't make me push you.
[Cas takes the money, follows the courtesan]
Dean Winchester: [after the courtesan has run off angrily] What the hell did you do?
Castiel: I don't know. I just looked at her in the eyes and told her it wasn't her fault that her father Gene ran off. It was because he hated his job at the post office.
Dean Winchester: [slightly amused] Oh no, man.
Castiel: What?
Dean Winchester: This whole industry runs on absent fathers, it's, it's the natural order.
[bouncers appear at the end of the hall]
Dean Winchester: [grabbing Cas] We should go. C'mon.
[they run outside, Dean doubles over, laughing]
Castiel: What's so funny?
[Dean puts an arm around Castiel's shoulders, Cas smiles]
Dean Winchester: Oh, nothing. Whew. It's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. Oh. It's been more than a long time. Years.
Castiel: [pouring oil around Raphael's empty vessel] When the oil burns, no angel can touch or pass through the flames, or he dies.
Dean Winchester: Okay, so we trap him in a steel cage of holy fire, but, uh, one question: how the hell do we get him here?
Castiel: There's... well, almost an open phone line between a vessel and his angel. One just has to know how to dial.
[leans over and mutters some strange words in the vessel's ear]
Castiel: I'm here, Raphael. Come and get me, you little bastard.
Castiel: [entering the abandoned house after summoning Raphael] Dean, wait.
[He steps in front of Dean; Raphael appears with wings of lightning, the lights explode]
Raphael: Castiel.
Castiel: Raphael.
Dean Winchester: Oh, you know, I thought you were supposed to be impressive. All you do is black out the room?
Raphael: And the eastern seaboard.
[to Castiel]
Raphael: It is a testament to my unending mercy that I do not smite you here and now.
Dean Winchester: Or maybe you're full of crap. Maybe you're afraid that God'll bring Cas back to life again, and smite *you*, you candy-ass skirt. By the way, hi, I'm Dean.
Raphael: I know who you are. And now thanks to him, I know *where* you are.
Castiel: You won't kill him. You wouldn't dare.
Raphael: But I will take him to Michael.
Dean Winchester: [going to get a beer from the cooler] Well that sounds terrifying. It does. But, uh, I hate to tell ya, I'm not goin' anywhere with you.
[turns his back and takes a sip]
Raphael: Surely you remember Zachariah giving you stomach cancer?
[a slight nervousness crosses Dean's face, but he turns back to Raphael, all swagger]
Dean Winchester: Yeah, that was, that was hilarious.
Raphael: Yes, well, he doesn't have anything close to my *imagination*.
Dean Winchester: Oh yeah?
[Raphael advances on him, Dean glances at the floor, then at Cas]
Dean Winchester: I'll bet you didn't imagine one thing.
Raphael: [threatening] What?
Dean Winchester: We knew you were coming, you stupid sonofabitch.
[he flicks his lighter and drops it on the circle of oil Raphael just walked into; flame surrounds the archangel; Raphael glares at Dean]
Dean Winchester: Don't look at me, it was his idea!
[Castiel gives him a look]
Castiel: [to Raphael] Where is he?
Raphael: God.
[Cas nods]
Raphael: Didn't you hear? He's dead, Castiel. Dead.
Raphael: But there's no other explanation. He's gone for good.
Castiel: You're lying.
Raphael: Am I? Do you *remember* the twentieth century? Think the twenty-first is going any better? Do you think God would have let any of that happen, if he were alive?
Dean Winchester: Oh yeah, well then who invented the Chinese basket trick?
Raphael: Careful. That's my Father you're talking about, boy.
Dean Winchester: Yeah, who would be *so proud* to know that his sons started the friggin' Apocalypse!
Raphael: Who ran off and disappeared! Who left no instructions, and a world to rot.
Dean Winchester: So Daddy ran away and disappeared. He didn't happen to work for the Post Office, did he?
[Cas stares at him]
Raphael: This is funny to you? You're living in a Godless universe!
Dean Winchester: [angrily] And? What, you and the other kids just decided to throw an Apocalypse while he's gone?
Raphael: [wearily] We're tired. We just want it to be over. We just want... paradise.
Dean Winchester: So what, God dies and makes you the boss, and you think you can do whatever you want?
Raphael: [angry] Yes! And whatever we want, we get!
[the windows explode; Dean and Cas duck]
Castiel: [above the sound of the storm] If God is dead, why have I returned? Who brought me back?
Raphael: Did it ever occur to you that maybe, Lucifer raised you?
Castiel: No.
Raphael: Think about it. He needs all the rebellious angels he can find.
[pause, Dean looks at Cas]
Raphael: You know it adds up.
Castiel: [to Dean] Let's go.
[he turns, starts walking away]
Raphael: Castiel!
[Cas turns back]
Raphael: I'm warning you. Do not leave me here. I will find you.
Castiel: Maybe one day. But today you're *my* little bitch.
[he exits]
Dean Winchester: [following Cas] What he said!
Dean Winchester: Hey, you okay?
[pause, Cas stares straight ahead, not answering]
Dean Winchester: Look, I'll be the first to tell you that this little crusade of yours is nuts, but, I do know a little something about missing fathers.
Castiel: What do you mean?
Dean Winchester: I mean, there were times when I was looking for my Dad when... all logic said that he was dead. But I knew, in my heart, that he was still alive. So who cares what some Ninja Turtle says, Cas, what do you believe?
Castiel: I believe he's out there.
Dean Winchester: Good. Then go find him.
Castiel: [looking at Dean] What about you?
Dean Winchester: What about me? I don't know. Honestly? I'm good. I can't believe I'm saying that, but, I am, I'm, I'm really good.
Castiel: Even without your brother.
Dean Winchester: [bitterly] Especially without my brother.
[Castiel looks at him]
Dean Winchester: I mean I spent so much time worrying about the sonofabitch... I mean, I've had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years. And you're not that much fun. Funny, you know, I've been so chained by my family, but now that I'm alone... hell, I'm happy.
[smiles, looks over; Castiel is gone]
[Castiel appears behind Dean; Dean sees him in the mirror and jumps]
Dean Winchester: God! Don't do that!
Castiel: Hello Dean.
[Dean turns around; Castiel stares at him from only inches away]
Dean Winchester: Cas, we've talked about this. Personal space?
Castiel: My apologies.
[he backs away]
Dean: Just out of curiosity, what is the average customer wait time to speak to an archangel?
Dean: [while killing a vampire] Eat it, Twilight!
5.4 The End
Dean: You know it's kinda funny talking to a messenger of God on a cell phone. You know, like watching a Hells Angel on a moped.
Castiel: This isn't funny Dean! The voice says I'm almost out of minutes!
Dean: [to Sam] Lucifer's wearing you to prom.
Sam: I guess I expected more of a reaction -- panic maybe.
Dean: I guess I'm a little numb to to earth-shattering revelations at this point.
Dean: [to Sam] We're not stronger when we're together -- I think we're weaker. Because what we have -- love, family, whatever it is -- they are always gonna use it against us. We're better off apart.
Dean 09: [to Dean 14]: Rhonda Hurley. We were 19. She made us try on her undies -- they were pink, satiny -- and you know what? We kind of liked it.
Dean 09: You don't have to cuff me. What, you don't trust yourself?
Dean 14: No. Absolutely not.
Dean 09: Dick.
Dean 14: [about the Colt] Took me five years. Tonight I'm gonna kill the Devil.
Dean 14: Sam didn't die in Detroit. He said yes.
Dean 09: Yes? You mean...
Dean 14: That's right. The big yes to the Devil. Lucifer's wearing him to the prom.
Dean 14: [to Dean 09] When you get back, you say yes. Say yes to Michael.
[Lucifer/Sam has just killed Dean 14]
Dean 09: Well, go ahead, kill me.
Lucifer/Sam: Kill you? Don't you think that would be a little ... redundant? I'm sorry, it must be painful, speaking to me in this shape. But it had to be your brother. It had to be. You don't have to be afraid of me, Dean. What do you think I'm going to do?
Dean: I don't know, maybe deep-fry the planet.
Lucifer: Why? Why would I want to destroy this stunning thing. Beautiful in a trillion different ways. The last perfect handiwork of God. Ever hear the story of my fall from grace?
Dean: Oh good God, you're not gonna tell me a bedtime story, are you? My stomach's almost out of bile.
Dean: Don't ever change.
Castiel: How did Zachariah find you?
Dean: Long story. Let's just stay away from Jehovah's Witnesses from now on.
Dean: You're not fooling me, you know that, with this "sympathy for the devil" crap. I know what you are.
Lucifer/Sam: What am I?
Dean: You're the same thing only bigger, the same brand of of cockroach I've been squashing all my life -- an ugly, evil, belly-to-the-ground supernatural piece of crap. The only difference between them and you is the size of your ego.
Dean: Look, man, I'm sorry. I don't know, whatever I need to be, but I was wrong.
Sam: What made you change your mind?
Dean: Long story. The point is, maybe we are each others' Achille's heel. Maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other, I don't know. I just know we're all we got. More than that, we keep each other human.
Sam: Thank you. Really, thank you. I won't let you down.
Dean: Oh, I know it. And you are the second-best hunter on the planet.
Sam: What do we do now?
Dean: We make our own future.
Chuck: So you're really from '09?
Dean 09: Yeah, afraid so.
Chuck: Some free advice, when you get back there, you hoard toilet paper. You understand me? Hoard it like it's made of gold. 'Cause it it is.
Dean: Thanks, Chuck.
Chuck: Oh, you'll thank me all right. Mark my words.
5.5 Fallen Idols
Dean: We've got two super-famous, super-pissed off ghosts killing their super-fans?
Dean: Let's go gank ourselves a Paris Hilton!
Sam: That's a lot of research.
Dean: Well, I guess I just made your afternoon.
Dean: Man, he's short.
Sam: Gandhi was a great man.
Dean: Yeah, for a smurf.
Dean: [to Sam] You couldn't have been a fan of someone cool.
Dean: Look, I'm not exactly Mr. Innocent in all this. I did break the first seal.
Dean: Point is, I was so busy watching your every move, I didn't see what it was actually doing to you. And for that, I'm sorry.
Sam: We gotta grab whatever is in front of us, kick its ass, and go down fighting.
Dean: I can get on board with that.
Sam: But we've gotta do it on the same level.
Dean: You got it.
Dean: Hey, you wanna drive?
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Jensen Ackles Trivia
