Mae West Quotes


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The Quotable Mae West
Mae West
Do you hang on Mae West's every word?
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  • Most famous lines
  • Personal quotes about career and life
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Mae West's Famous Lines
SextetteMae West in Sextette
  • Reporter: How do you like it in London, Marlo?
    Marlo Manners: Hmmm, I like it anywhere!
  • Marriage is like a book. The whole story takes place between the covers.
  • A real farmer. He spent his childhood in the wheat, and his marriage in the hay.
  • I'm the girl who works for Paramount all day, and Fox all night.
  • Wow! All this meat and no potatoes!
  • I've never seen that position before.
  • Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? Marlo Manners
Myra
Mae West in Myra Breckinridge


  • Well, the end of another busy day. I can't wait till I get back to bed. If that don't work I'll try to sleep.
  • Leticia Van Allen: How tall are you when you're off your horse, cowboy?
    Young Man at "interview": Um, six feet, seven inches, ma'am.
    Leticia Van Allen: Well, never mind the six feet, and let's talk about the seven inches.Leticia Van Allen
My Little Chickadee

Mae West in My Little Chickadee
  • Schoolboy: We was doin' arithmetic on the blackboard when Miss Foster took sick.
    Flower belle Lee: Oh, arithmetic... I was always pretty good at figures myself.
  • Judge: Are you trying to show *contempt* for this court?
    Flower Belle: No... I'm doin' my best to *hide* it!
  • Cuthbert J Twillie: May I present my card?
    Flower Belle Lee: 'Novelties and Notions.' What kind of notions you got?
    Cuthbert J. Twillie: You'd be surprised. Some are old, some are new. Whom have I the honor of addressing, m'lady?
    Flower Belle Lee: Mmm, they call me Flower Belle.
    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Flower Belle, what a euphonious appellation. Easy on the ears and a banquet for the eyes.
    Flower Belle Lee: You're kinda cute yourself.
    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Thank you. I never argue with a lady.
    Flower Belle Lee: Smart boy.
  • Mmm, funny, every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.
  • Any time you got nothin' to do and lots of time to do it, come up.
  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: I will be all things to you: father, mother, husband, counselor, jackanapes, bartender...
    Flower Belle Lee: You're offering quite a bundle, honey.
    Cuthbert J. Twillie: My heart is a bargain today. Will you take me?
    [she sneaks a look at his satchel full of what she thinks is money]
    Flower Belle Lee: I'll take you - and how.
  • [giving schoolboys an arithmetic lesson] Two and two is four and five will get you ten if you know how to work it.
  • Wayne Carter: Spring is the time for love.
    Flower Belle Lee: What's the matter with the rest of the year?
  • I generally avoid temptation... unless I can't resist it.
  • [to Wayne Carter] You're a man with ideals. Well, I guess I better be goin' while you still got 'em.
  • [reading off the blackboard] "'I am a good boy. I am a good man. I am a good girl." What is this, propaganda?
  • Wayne Carter: I think you could turn a man's head very easily if he wasn't careful.
    Flower Belle Lee: Well, there's no fun in being too careful.
    Wayne Carter: Aren't you forgetting that you're married?
    Flower Belle Lee: I'm doin' my best.
  • Jeff Badger: You are the sheriff wife now. It would be very embarrassing for you to know who I am.
    Flower Belle Lee: Mmm... I've never been embarrassed in my life.
  • Wayne Carter: There's no such thing as law and order in this town. Decent citizens live in fear of their lives.
    Flower Belle Lee: That ain't right. There should be a law against it.
  • Jeff Badger: I'm Jeff Badger. I own this place. Is there anything I can do for you?
    Flower Belle Lee: Yeah, you can get outta my way.
  • Jeff Badger: I wonder what kind of a woman you really are.
    Flower Belle Lee: Too bad, but I can't give out samples.
  • Aunt Lou: These are right pretty pictures of you, Flower Belle.
    Flower Belle Lee: Yeah, I like'em. They look just like me.
  • Don't mind being' held up, but I don't like the inconvenience. Flower Belle Lee
Go West Young ManMae West in Go West Young Man

Go West
  • Morgan: You're a great star and can't take a risk. Your private life has got to be an open book.
    Mavis Arden: I'm just looking for someone to read it.
  • Don't be modest. Modesty never gets you anything. I know. Mavis Arden
Klondike AnnieMae West as The Frisco Doll
  • When caught between two evils, I generally like to take the one I never tried.
  • Now I'll tell ya - you people have been on the wrong track, and I'm gonna steer you right You'll never get anywhere because you don't know how to wrassle the devil. Tying a knot in his tail won't throw 'im on his back; you've gotta grab 'im by his horns - you've gotta know him, know his tricks. I know 'em, and how I know 'em! Why, I can make him say uncle - that is, if he's got an uncle.
  • [singing] I'm an Occidental woman in an Oriental mood for love...
  • Bull Brackett: I can always tell a lady.
    The Frisco Doll: Yeah? Whaddya tell 'em? The Frisco Doll
Goin' to TownMae West in Goin' to Town

Goin' to Town
  • Young Fellow: What excuse has a gal like you for runnin' around single?
    Cleo Borden: Mmm, I was born that way.
  • Buck Gonzales: With any other dame, I wouldn't give a hoot. When it comes to you, I'm dynamite!
    Cleo Borden: Yes, and I'm your match.
  • Buck Gonzales: You ain't scared of me 'cause they say I'm a bad man?
    Cleo Gonzales: I'm a good woman for a bad man.
  • Cigarette me, Cossack.
  • Ivan Valadov: For one kiss of your lips I would give half of my life.
    Cleo Borden: Oh, see me tomorrow, I'll kiss you twice.
  • But now I'm a lady / Come up and see me some time.
  • Sr. Mendoza: I'm sorry. I didn't get your name.
    Cleo Borden: It's not your fault. You tried hard enough.
    Sr. Alvarez: Where have I seen your face before?
    Cleo Borden: Same place as you see it now.
  • Cleo Borden: ...we're intellectual opposites.
    Ivan Valadov: What do you mean?
    Cleo Borden: Well, I'm intellectual and you're opposite. Cleo Borden
Belle of the NinetiesMae West in Belle of the Nineties
  • A man in the house is worth two in the street.
  • It's better to be looked over than overlooked.Ruby Carter


I'm No AngelMae West - I'm No Angel

Mae West in I'm No Angel

  • Beulah, peel me a grape.
  • Jack Clayton: You were wonderful tonight.
    Tira: Yeah, I'm always wonderful at night.
    Jack Clayton: Tonight, you were especially good.
    Tira: Well... When I'm good, I'm very good. But, when I'm bad...
    [winks at Jack]
    Tira: I'm better.
  • It's not the men in your life that counts, it's the life in your men.
  • [to Slick Wiley] What'd you do? Get your hair cut or have your ears moved down?
  • Tira: What do you do for a living?
    Ernest Brown: Oh, uh, sort of a politician.
    Tira: I don't like work either.
  • Jack Clayton: Oh I'm crazy about you.
    Tira: I did my best to make you that way.
    Jack Clayton: Look darling, you need a rest, and so do I. Let me take you away somewhere, we'll...
    Tira: Would you call that a rest?
    Jack Clayton: What are you thinking about?
    Tira: Same thing you are.
  • after he reads her fortune, Rajah gives Tira the horoscope he has prepared for her]
    Rajah the Fortune Teller: Keep this where you may consult it frequently.
    Tira: Alright, I'll take it to bed with me.
  • Always remember, honey. A good motto is: "Take all you can get and give as little as possible". Don't forget, honey. Never let one man worry your mind. Find 'em, fool 'em and forget 'em!
  • Tira: By the way, honey, you married or single?
    Ernest Brown: Married five times.
    Tira: Five times? Wedding bells must sound like an alarm clock to you.
  • Ernest Brown: I like to get around and travel; and, believe me, I've been places and seen things.
    Tira: Mmm-hmm. I've been things and seen places. That sort of evens us out.
  • Rajah the Fortune Teller: You were born in August.
    Tira: Yeah, one of the hot months. Tira
She Done Him WrongMovie title:
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Night After NightMovie title:
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Mae West Quotes
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A hard man is good to find.
Mae West

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.
Mae West

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction.
Mae West

An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.
Mae West

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
Mae West

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West
Klondike Annie

Don't keep a man guessing too long - he's sure to find the answer somewhere else.
Mae West

Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for.
Mae West

Give a man a free hand and he'll try to put it all over you.
Mae West
Klondike Annie

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
Mae West

'Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!'
'Goodness had nothing to do with it.'
Mae West
Night After Night

He who hesitates is a damned fool.
Mae West

He who hesitates is last.
Mae West

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
Mae West

He's the kind of man who picks his friends - to pieces.
Mae West

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
Mae West

I always say, keep a diary and some day it'll keep you.
Mae West
Every Day's a Holiday

I don't know a lot about politics, but I can recognise a good party man when I see one.
Mae West

I don't like myself, I'm crazy about myself.
Mae West

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
Mae West

I have always felt a gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself.
Mae West

I like a man who's good, but not too good - for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.
Mae West

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
Mae West

I used to be Snow White…but I drifted.
Mae West

I've been in Who's Who, and I know what's what, but it'll be the first time I ever made the dictionary.
Mae West
Letter to RAF 1940s on having inflatable life jacket named after her

If Kinsey is right, I have only done what comes naturally, what the average American does secretly, drenching himself in guilt fixations and phobias because of his sense of sinning. I have never felt myself a sinner or committed what I would call a sin.
Mae West

I'm tired, send one of them home.
Mae West (When told there were 10 men waiting to meet her in her dressing-room)

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
Mae West

It's not what I do, but the way I do it. It's not what I say, but the way I say it.
Mae West

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
Mae West

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
Mae West

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
Mae West

Men are all alike - except the one you've met who's different.
Mae West

Men like women with a past because they hope history will repeat itself.
Mae West

Once you're boned, what's left to create the illusion? Let 'em wonder. I never believed in giving them too much of me.
Mae West

Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.
Mae West

Sex is an emotion in motion.
Mae West

She Done Him Wrong
She's the kind of woman who climbed the ladder of success, wrong by wrong.
Mae West

The best way to behave is to misbehave.
Mae West

There are no good girls gone wrong - just bad girls found out.
Mae West

To err is human - but it feels divine.
Mae West

Too much of a good thing can be taxing.
Mae West

Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
Mae West

What would I being doing in a lonely hearts club band?
Mae West (Refusing permission to use her image on the cover of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts)

When women go wrong, men go right after them.
Mae West

Why don't you come up sometime, and see me?
Mae West
She Done Him Wrong

Women are as old as they feel - and men are old when they lose their feelings.
Mae West

You're never too old to become younger.
Mae West

Virtue has its own reward, but has no sale at the box office. Goodness, what lovely diamonds.
Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie.
No gold-digging for me... I take diamonds! We may be off the gold standard someday. It takes two to get one in trouble. I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit. A man in the house is worth two in the street. It is better to be looked over than overlooked. I've been doing a lot of thinking about you lately.
You must be awful tired.
I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action. Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. I can always tell a lady when I see one.
Yeah? What do you tell 'em?
Give a man a free hand and he'll try to put it all over you. Too many girls follow the line of least resistance--but a good line is hard to resist. Some men are all right in their place--if they only knew the right places! It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don't break any. I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from. I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going while you've still got them. Any time you got nothing to do--and lots of time to do it--come on up. Men are all alike--except the one you've met who's different. All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else. The score never interested me, only the game. Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up. It's not the men in my life that counts-- it's the life in my men. Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing. Women with "pasts" interest men because men hope that history will repeat itself. Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring. I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond. There are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin. The best way to learn to be a lady is to see how other ladies do it. Let men see what's coming to them, and women will get what's coming to them. The curve is more powerful than the sword. I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them. When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better. I like a man who's good, but not too good--for the good die young, and I hate a dead one. Too much of a good thing can be wonderful. Some women pick men to marry--and others pick them to pieces. When a girl goes bad--men go right after her. Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag. A woman in love can't be reasonable--or she probably wouldn't be in love. You can do what you want, but saving love doesn't bring any interest. Love isn't an emotion or an instinct--it's an art. Love is the only industry which can't operate on a five-day week. Women want certain things in marriage--the right to a title and a front seat in the lap of luxury. Men are easy to get but hard to keep. It's easy to get married, but hard to stay that way. Kiss and make up--but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss. A girl in the convertible is worth five in the phone book. Life's just a merry-go-round. Come on up. You might get a brass ring. You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles. I take it out in the open and laugh at it. The best way to hold a man is in your arms. Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em. Look your best--who said love is blind? An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises. Girls, give all your gentlemen friends an even break, even if you have to break them in the attempt. Cultivate your curves--they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided. Love thy neighbor--and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier. If you put your foot in it, be sure it's your best foot. It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect. The best way to behave is to misbehave. He who hesitates is last. I'm single because I was born that way. A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. Marriage is a great institution. No family should be without it. A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty--he has suffered longer. Don't come crawlin' to a man for love--he likes to get a run for his money. Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your smile. Don't marry a man to reform him--that's what reform schools are for. Don't keep a man guessing too long--he's sure to find the answer somewhere else. Don't ever make the same mistake twice, unless it pays. How do you do, Miss West?
How do you do what?
I'd give half my life for just one kiss.
Then kiss me twice.
Oh, Miss West, I've heard so much about you.
Yeah, honey, but you can't prove a thing.
Do you like the new styles or the old?
You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.
Never ask a man where's he's been. If he's out on legitimate business, he doesn't need an alibi. And, girls, if he has been out on illegitimate business, it's your own fault. What kind of man is most satisfactory?
Personally, I like two types of men--domestic and foreign.
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day--and another, in case it doesn't. It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it. Come up and see me sometime.

Quotes About Mae West
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