Movie/TV title: The Wreastler
Character name: Cassidy
Quote(s):
Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: Goddamn they don't make em' like they used to.
Cassidy: Fuckin' 80's man, best shit ever !
Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: Bet'chr ass man, Guns N' Roses! Rules.
Cassidy: Crue!
Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: Yeah!
Cassidy: Def Lep!
Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: Then that Cobain pussy had to come around & ruin it all.
Cassidy: Like theres something wrong with just wanting to have a good time?
Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: I'll tell you somethin', I hate the fuckin' 90's.
Cassidy: Fuckin' 90's sucked.
Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: Fuckin' 90's sucked.
Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: Give this to your son, it's an authentic Randy "the Ram" action figure. Tell him not to lose it, it's a $300 collectors item.
Cassidy: Really?
Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: No. |
Movie/TV title: Untamed Heart
Character name: Caroline
Quote(s):
Caroline: You love with your mind and soul, not you heart.
Adam: [Touching his chest] Then how come I hurt here when you're not with me?
Adam: Do you like music, Caroline?
Caroline: Mmm. That's the first time I heard you say my name. It sounded... nice.
Adam: Would you like to listen to my records Caroline?... Caroline.
Caroline: Adam your heart is diseased! You need a new one.
Adam: But this is my heart! I'm afraid that if they take it away I won't be able to love you the same.
Caroline: What's your dog's name?
Adam: I don't know. He never told me.
[During her beauty exam]
Caroline: Lady, I'm not butchering your hair! It's a free haircut so stop your bitching before I cut it all off, you fat cow!
[about her dad]
Caroline: First guy to walk out of my life, definetly not the last. Funny things, you and me. You always stayin' away from love, me always chasin' after it.
Caroline: Don't let people stand in your way. They're just people. like you and me! Well, maybe not like you. I don't know if I have ever met anyone like you before.
Caroline: He was like an angel, you know? I never knew life could be like that. He was the one thing I followed through in my life, the one thing I didn't give up on. I was good at loving him.
Caroline: I am going to fall in love with you. You don't have to love me back. I am going to give you my heart.
Caroline: I think I'll go inside now.
Steve: I'll call you later, alright?
Caroline: No, don't do that. Just leave me alone.
Steve: I didn't mean to hurt you, Caroline.
Caroline: Yeah, well. You did.
Caroline: My life is like watching The Three Stooges in Spanish!
Caroline: What worries me is when someone as screwed up as these guys doesn't want me!
Caroline: When did you get here?
Adam: Ten.
Caroline: Ten? That was almost two hours ago. You'd rather be out here with my cat than inside with...
[realizing]
Caroline: than inside with a room full of strangers and relatives.
Caroline: You don't have to come as my boyfriend or anything. Though I'd like you to.
[Adam nods]
Caroline: Is that a yes?
Adam: Yes.
Caroline: Say yes again.
Adam: Yes.
Adam: I follow you home...
Caroline: You follow me home?
Adam: I wasn't finished.
Caroline: Finish.
Adam: I follow you home to make sure you're... safe.
Caroline: Well I never see you.
Adam: I stay pretty far behind. I'm sorry.
Caroline: Well, I mean, don't be sorry... I just...
Adam: I wasn't finished.
Caroline: Finish.
Adam: I am sorry I was late that night.
Caroline: I never hear you speak and when you do you apologize for saving me?
Adam: I wonder if you think about me.
Caroline: Of course I think about you!
Adam: I wasn't finished!
Caroline: Finish.
Adam: I wonder if you think about me half as much as I think about you.
Caroline: I have fallen...
Adam: Are you hurt?
Caroline: I wasn't finished.
Adam: Finish.
Caroline: I have fallen so in love with you, so much more than I said I would.
Caroline: He doesn't make sense, I don't make sense, together we make sense.
Adam: I love hockey.
Caroline: You didn't even know what a power-play was.
Adam: I know. But next time you can tell me.
Caroline: Star light, Star bright, First star I see tonight, I wish I may wish I might I might, Have this wish I wish tonight.
Adam: That's mars.
Caroline: What?
Adam: That's mars. You just wished on a planet.
Caroline: Figures.
Caroline: What did the doctor say?
Adam: That I'm not allowed to stick knives in my stomach.
Caroline: Magic records and a baboon heart...
Caroline: It's your birthday and you got me a present? |
Movie/TV title: My Cousin Vinny
Character name: Mona Lisa Vito
Quote(s):
Lisa: Support? Is that what you want? I'm sorry, you were wonderful in there! The way you handled that judge... ooh you are a smooth talker. You are... you are!
Vinny Gambini: What about these pants I got on? You think they're okay?
Mona Lisa Vito: Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water - BAM. A fuckin' bullet rips off part of your head. Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I ask ya, would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son-of-a-bitch who shot you was wearing?
Vinny Gambini: Your Honor, may I have permission to treat Ms. Vito as a hostile witness?
Mona Lisa Vito: You think I'm hostile now, wait 'til you see me tonight.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Do you two know each other?
Vinny Gambini: Yeah, she's my fiancée.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Well, that would certainly explain the hostility.
Mona Lisa Vito: [Vinny looks at her funny] What?
Vinny Gambini: Nothing. You stick out like a sore thumb around here.
Mona Lisa Vito: Me? What about you?
Vinny Gambini: I fit in better than you. At least I'm wearing cowboy boots.
Mona Lisa Vito: Oh yeah, you blend.
Vinny Gambini: What's the matter with you?
Lisa: I don't know.
Vinny Gambini: You're acting like you're nervous or something.
Lisa: Well, yeah. I am.
Vinny Gambini: What are you nervous about? I'm the one that's under the gun here. Trial starts tomorrow.
Lisa: You wanna know what I'm nervous about? I'll tell you what I'm nervous about! I am in the dark here with all this legal crap. I have no idea what's going on. All I know is that you're screwing up and I can't help.
Vinny Gambini: You left me a little camera, didn't you?
Lisa: Oh, Vinny! I'm watching you go down in flames, and you're bringing me with you and I can't do anything about it!
Vinny Gambini: And?
Lisa: Well I hate to bring it up because I know you've got enough pressure on you already. But, we agreed to get married as soon as you won your first case. Meanwhile, TEN YEARS LATER, my niece, the daughter of my sister is getting married. My biological clock is
[taps her foot]
Lisa: TICKING LIKE THIS and the way this case is going, I ain't never getting married.
Vinny Gambini: Lisa, I don't need this. I swear to God, I do not need this right now, okay? I've got a judge that's just aching to throw me in jail. An idiot who wants to fight me for two hundred dollars. Slaughtered pigs. Giant loud whistles. I ain't slept in five days. I got no money, a dress code problem, AND a little murder case which, in the balance, holds the lives of two innocent kids. Not to mention your
[taps his foot]
Vinny Gambini: BIOLOGICAL CLOCK - my career, your life, our marriage, and let me see, what else can we pile on? Is there any more SHIT we can pile on to the top of the outcome of this case? Is it possible?
Lisa: [pause] Maybe it was a bad time to bring it up.
Vinny Gambini: I got thirty fucking minutes to take a shower, get a new suit, get dressed and get to the fucking courthouse.
Lisa: You fucking shower, I'll get your fucking suit.
Lisa: [talking to townsman] Famous for your mud? How's your Chinese food?
Vinny Gambini: You just keep asking about Chinese food. You gotta let everybody know you're a tourist?
Lisa: Yeah well what are you, a fucking world traveler?
[In the diner after being woken at 5 AM and staring at the menu where the options are simply 'breakfast', 'lunch', and 'dinner']
Lisa: Breakfast?
Vinny Gambini: Ya think?
Lisa: I want a wedding in church with bridesmaids and flowers.
Vinny Gambini: Whoa. How many times did you say that spontaneous is romantic?
Lisa: Hey, a burp is spontaneous. A burp is not romantic.
D.A. Jim Trotter: Ms. Vito, what is your current profession?
Lisa: I'm an out-of-work hairdresser.
D.A. Jim Trotter: An out-of-work hairdresser. In what way does that qualify you as an expert in automobiles?
Lisa: It doesn't.
Vinny Gambini: Ms. Vito, you're supposed to be some kinda expert in automobiles, is that correct?... Is that correct?
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Would you please answer the counselor's question?
Mona Lisa Vito: No, I hate him.
Lisa: What the fuck is going on here, Vinny? You fucking up this case or what?
Vinny Gambini: I explained it to you already, didn't I? It's procedure. I'm bound to fuck up a little.
Lisa: A little? You've been thrown in jail twice.
Lisa: Don't worry, I'll find a way to bail you out.
Vinny Gambini: No don't. I'm gonna stay in prison tonight. Maybe I'll finally get some sleep. I'm doing good, huh?
Vinny Gambini: [Vinny hears a drip in the motel bathroom] Weren't you the last one to use the bathroom?
Lisa: So?
Vinny Gambini: Well, did you use the faucet?
Lisa: Yeah.
Vinny Gambini: Then why didn'tcha turn it off?
Lisa: I DID turn it off!
Vinny Gambini: Well, if you turned it off, why am I listening to it?
Lisa: Did it ever occur to you it could be turned off AND drip at the same time?
Vinny Gambini: No. Because if you'd turned it off, it wouldn't drip!
Lisa: Maybe it's broken.
Vinny Gambini: Is that what you're saying? It's broken?
Lisa: Yeah. That's it, it's broken.
Vinny Gambini: You sure?
Lisa: I'm positive.
Vinny Gambini: Maybe you didn't twist it hard enough.
Lisa: I twisted it just right.
Vinny Gambini: How could you be so sure?
Lisa: [sighs] If you will look in the manual, you will see that this particular model faucet requires a range of 10 to 16 foot-pounds of torque. I routinely twist the maximum allowable torquage.
Vinny Gambini: Well, how could you be sure you used 16 foot-pounds of torque?
Lisa: Because I used a Craftsman model 1019 Laboratory Edition Signature Series torque wrench. The kind used by Caltech high energy physicists. And NASA engineers.
Vinny Gambini: Well, in that case, how can you be sure THAT's accurate?
Lisa: Because a split second before the torque wrench was applied to the faucet handle, it had been calibrated by top members of the state AND federal Department of Weights and Measures... to be dead on balls accurate!
[She rips a page out of a magazine and hands it to him]
Lisa: Here's the certificate of validation.
Vinny Gambini: Dead on balls accurate?
Lisa: It's an industry term.
Vinny Gambini: [tosses paper away] I guess the fucking thing is broken.
D.A. Jim Trotter: Now, uh, Ms. Vito, being an expert on general automotive knowledge, can you tell me... what would the correct ignition timing be on a 1955 Bel Air Chevrolet, with a 327 cubic-inch engine and a four-barrel carburetor?
Mona Lisa Vito: It's a bullshit question.
D.A. Jim Trotter: Does that mean that you can't answer it?
Mona Lisa Vito: It's a bullshit question, it's impossible to answer.
D.A. Jim Trotter: Impossible because you don't know the answer!
Mona Lisa Vito: Nobody could answer that question!
D.A. Jim Trotter: Your Honor, I move to disqualify Ms. Vito as a "expert witness"!
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Can you answer the question?
Mona Lisa Vito: No, it is a trick question!
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Why is it a trick question?
Vinny Gambini: [to Bill] Watch this.
Mona Lisa Vito: 'Cause Chevy didn't make a 327 in '55, the 327 didn't come out till '62. And it wasn't offered in the Bel Air with a four-barrel carb till '64. However, in 1964, the correct ignition timing would be four degrees before top-dead-center.
D.A. Jim Trotter: Well... um... she's acceptable, Your Honor.
Vinny Gambini: Ms. Vito, it has been argued by me, the defense, that two sets of guys met up at the Sac-O-Suds, at the same time, driving identical metallic mint green 1964 Buick Skylark convertibles. Now, can you tell us by what you see in this picture, if the defense's case holds water?
[Lisa examines the picture]
Vinny Gambini: Ms. Vito, please answer the question: does the defense's case hold water?
Mona Lisa Vito: No! The defense is wrong!
Vinny Gambini: Are you sure?
Mona Lisa Vito: I'm positive.
Vinny Gambini: How could you be so sure?
Mona Lisa Vito: Because there is no way that these tire marks were made by a '64 Buick Skylark convertible. These marks were made by a 1963 Pontiac Tempest.
D.A. Jim Trotter: Objection, Your Honor! Can we clarify to the court whether the witness is stating opinion or fact?
Judge Chamberlain Haller: This is your opinion?
Mona Lisa Vito: It's a fact!
Vinny Gambini: I find it hard to believe that this kind of information could be ascertained simply by looking at a picture!
Mona Lisa Vito: Would you like me to explain?
Vinny Gambini: I would love to hear this!
Judge Chamberlain Haller: So would I.
Mona Lisa Vito: The car that made these two, equal-length tire marks had positraction. You can't make those marks without positraction, which was not available on the '64 Buick Skylark!
Vinny Gambini: And why not? What is positraction?
Mona Lisa Vito: It's a limited slip differential which distributes power equally to both the right and left tires. The '64 Skylark had a regular differential, which, anyone who's been stuck in the mud in Alabama knows, you step on the gas, one tire spins, the other tire does nothing.
[the jury members nod, with murmurs of "yes," "that's right," etc]
Vinny Gambini: Is that it?
Mona Lisa Vito: No, there's more! You see? When the left tire mark goes up on the curb and the right tire mark stays flat and even? Well, the '64 Skylark had a solid rear axle, so when the left tire would go up on the curb, the right tire would tilt out and ride along its edge. But that didn't happen here. The tire mark stayed flat and even. This car had an independent rear suspension. Now, in the '60's, there were only two other cars made in America that had positraction, and independent rear suspension, and enough power to make these marks. One was the Corvette, which could never be confused with the Buick Skylark. The other had the same body length, height, width, weight, wheel base, and wheel track as the '64 Skylark, and that was the 1963 Pontiac Tempest.
Vinny Gambini: And because both cars were made by GM, were both cars available in metallic mint green paint?
Mona Lisa Vito: They were!
Vinny Gambini: Thank you, Ms. Vito. No more questions. Thank you very, very much.
[kissing her hands]
Vinny Gambini: You've been a lovely, lovely witness.
Mona Lisa Vito: So what's your problem?
Vinny Gambini: My problem is, I wanted to win my first case without any help from anybody.
Mona Lisa Vito: Well, I guess that plan's moot.
Vinny Gambini: Yeah.
Mona Lisa Vito: You know, this could be a sign of things to come. You win all your cases, but with somebody else's help, right? you win case after case, and then afterwards you have to go up to somebody and you have to say, "thank you."
[pause]
Mona Lisa Vito: Oh my God, what a fucking nightmare!
Mona Lisa Vito: Don't you wanna know why Trotter gave you his files?
Vinny Gambini: I told you why already.
Mona Lisa Vito: He has to, by law, you're entitled. It's called disclosure, you dickhead! He has to show you everything, otherwise it could be a mistrial. He has to give you a list of all his witnesses, you can talk to all his witnesses, he's not allowed any surprises.
[Vinny has a blank look on his face]
Mona Lisa Vito: They didn't teach you that in law school either?
Mona Lisa Vito: What name did you tell him?
Vinny Gambini: Jerry Gallo.
Mona Lisa Vito: Jerry Gallo! The big attorney.
Vinny Gambini: Yeah.
Mona Lisa Vito: Think that was a smart move?
Vinny Gambini: Yeah, well, the man's a seriously accomplished lawyer. If he checks up on this guy, his name will come up all over the place.
Mona Lisa Vito: His name was in the papers all last week.
Vinny Gambini: Yeah, I saw that.
Mona Lisa Vito: But you didn't actually read the articles.
Vinny Gambini: No
Mona Lisa Vito: Too bad.
Vinny Gambini: Why's that?
Mona Lisa Vito: 'Cause he's dead.
Vinny Gambini: I won my first case, you know what this means...
Mona Lisa Vito: Yeah, you think I'm gonna marry you.
Vinny Gambini: What, now you're not gonna marry me?
Mona Lisa Vito: No way. You can't even win a case by yourself, you're fuckin' useless.
Mona Lisa Vito: You're goin hunting?
Vinny Gambini: That's right.
Mona Lisa Vito: Why are you going hunting? Shouldn't you be out preparing for court?
Vinny Gambini: I was thinking last night. If only I knew what he knows, you know? If he'd let me look at his files; oh boy.
Mona Lisa Vito: I don't get it. What does getting to Trotter's files have anything to do with hunting?
Vinny Gambini: Well, you know, two guys, out in the woods, guns, on the hunt. It's a bonding thing, you know; show him I'm one of the boys. he's not gonna let me look at his files, but maybe he'll relax enough to drop his guard so I can finnesse a little infomation out of him.
[searches through his clothes]
Vinny Gambini: What am I gonna wear?
Mona Lisa Vito: What are ya gonna hunt?
Vinny Gambini: I don't know, he's got a lot of stuffed heads in his office.
Mona Lisa Vito: Heads?
[Vinny looks up at Lisa]
Mona Lisa Vito: What kinda heads?
Vinny Gambini: I don't know, he's got a boar, a bear, a couple of deer.
Mona Lisa Vito: Whoa. You're gonna shoot a deer?
Vinny Gambini: I don't know. I suppose. I mean, I'm a man's man, I could go deer hunting.
Mona Lisa Vito: A sweet, innocent, harmless, leaf-eating, doe-eyed little deer.
Vinny Gambini: Hey Lisa, I'm not gonna go out there just to wimp out, you know. I mean, the guy will lose respect for me, would you rather have that?
Vinny Gambini: [Lisa gets up, walks over to the bathroom and shuts the door] What about these pants I got on, you think they're O.K.?
[Looks down]
Vinny Gambini: Oh!
Mona Lisa Vito: [comes out of the bathroom] Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water... BAM! A fuckin bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces! Now I ask ya. Would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?
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