 Movie/TV title:
When Harry Met Sally
Character name:
Sally Albright
Quote(s):
Sally Albright: Harry, you're going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.
Harry Burns: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.
Sally Albright: What?
Harry Burns: I love you.
Sally Albright: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry Burns: How about, you love me too.
Sally Albright: How about, I'm leaving.
Sally Albright: I don't have to take this crap from you.
Harry Burns: If you're so over Joe, why aren't you seeing anyone?
Sally Albright: I see people.
Harry Burns: See people? Have you slept with one person since you broke up with Joe?
Sally Albright: What the hell does that have to do with anything? That will prove I'm over Joe? Because I fuck somebody? Harry, you're gonna have to move back to New Jersey because you've slept with everybody in New York and I don't see that turning Helen into a faint memory for you. Besides, I will make love to somebody when it is making love. Not the way you do it like you're out for revenge or something.
Harry Burns: Are you finished now?
Sally Albright: Yes.
Harry Burns: Can I say something?
Sally Albright: Yes.
Harry Burns: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Sally Albright: The first date back is always the toughest, Harry.
Harry Burns: You only had one date. How do you know it's not going to get worse?
Sally Albright: How much worse can it get than finishing dinner, having him reach over, pull a hair out of my head and start flossing with it at the table?
Harry Burns: We're talking dream date compared to my horror.
Sally Albright: Well, if you must know, it was because he was very jealous, and I had these days of the week underpants.
Harry Burns: Ehhhh. I'm sorry. I need the judges ruling on this. "Days of the weeks underpants"?
Sally Albright: Yes. They had the days of the week on them, and I thought they were sort of funny. And then one day Sheldon says to me, "You never wear Sunday." It was all suspicious. Where was Sunday? Where had I left Sunday? And I told him, and he didn't believe me.
Harry Burns: What?
Sally Albright: They don't make Sunday.
Harry Burns: Why not?
Sally Albright: Because of God.
Sally Albright: Is Harry bringing anybody to the wedding?
Marie: I don't think so.
Sally Albright: Is he seeing anybody?
Marie: He was seeing this anthropologist, but...
Sally Albright: What's she look like?
Marie: Thin. Pretty. Big tits. Your basic nightmare.
Sally Albright: You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you.
[Harry and Sally discussing orgasms]
Sally Albright: Most women at one time or another have faked it.
Harry Burns: Well, they haven't faked it with me.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because I know.
Sally Albright: Oh. Right. Thats right. I forgot. Youre a man.
Harry Burns: What was that supposed to mean?
Sally Albright: Nothing. Its just that all men are sure it never happened to them and all women at one time or other have done it so you do the math.
Harry Burns: With whom did you have this great sex?
Sally Albright: I'm not going to tell you that.
Harry Burns: Fine, don't tell me.
Sally Albright: Shel Gordon.
Harry Burns: Shel? Sheldon? No, no, you did not have great sex with Sheldon.
Sally Albright: I did too.
Harry Burns: No you didn't. A Sheldon can do your income taxes, if you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man... but humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. 'Do it to me Sheldon, you're an animal Sheldon, ride me big Shel-don.' Doesn't work.
Sally Albright: But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it, if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it's real; if it's out of the can then nothing.
Waitress: Not even the pie?
Sally Albright: No, I want the pie, but then not heated.
Harry Burns: You know how a year to a person is like seven years to a dog?
Sally Albright: Is one of us supposed to be a DOG in this scenario?
Harry Burns: Yes.
Sally Albright: Who is the dog?
Harry Burns: You are.
Sally Albright: I am? I am the dog? I am the dog?
Sally: When Joe and I started seeing each other, we wanted exactly the same thing. We wanted to live together, but we didn't want to get married because every time anyone we knew got married, it ruined their relationship. They practically never had sex again. It's true, it's one of the secrets that no one ever tells you. I would sit around with my girlfriends who have kids - and, actually, my one girlfriend who has kids, Alice - and she would complain about how she and Gary never did it anymore. She didn't even complain about it, now that I think about it. She just said it matter-of-factly. She said they were up all night, they were both exhausted all the time, the kids just took every sexual impulse they had out of them. And Joe and I used to talk about it, and we'd say we were so lucky we have this wonderful relationship, we can have sex on the kitchen floor and not worry about the kids walking in. We can fly off to Rome on a moment's notice. And then one day I was taking Alice's little girl for the afternoon because I'd promised to take her to the circus, and we were in the cab playing "I Spy" - I spy a mailbox, I spy a lamp-post - and she looked out the window and she saw this man and this woman with these two little kids. And the man had one of the little kids on his shoulders, and she said, "I spy a family." And I started to cry. You know, I just started crying. And I went home, and I said, "The thing is, Joe, we never do fly off to Rome on a moment's notice."
Harry: And the kitchen floor?
Sally: [sadly] Not once. It's this very cold, hard Mexican ceramic tile.
|  Movie/TV title:
When a Man Loves a Woman
Character name:
Alice Green
Quote(s):
Alice Green: I think I could love you again if you could, for once, say 'I don't know.'
Alice Green: F*ck that! F*ck making it better. It's not getting better! I don't know how to make it better and I swear to God you don't either!
Alice Green: It's horrifying how much you can hate yourself for being low and weak and he couldn't save me from that. So I turned it on him; I tried to empty it onto him. But there was always more, you know. When he tried to help I told him that he made me feel small and worthless. But nobody makes us feel that, we do that for ourselves. I shut him out because I knew if he ever really saw who I was inside, that he wouldn't love me. And we're separated now, he's moved away, and it was so hard not to beg him to stay. And I don't know if I'm going to get a second chance but I have to believe. That I deserve one. Because we all do.
Alice Green: I drink a quart a day. It's vodka so you couldn't smell it.
Michael Green: My wife is an alcoholic. Best person I ever met. She has 600 different smiles. They can light up your life. They can make you laugh out loud, just like that. They can even make you cry, just like that. That's just with her smiles. You'd have to see her with her kids. You'd have to see how they look at her, when she's not looking. To think of all the things she lives through, and I couldn't help her.
Alice Green: Maybe helping wasn't your job.
Michael Green: Well, it wasn't. See I love her. And I tried everything, except really listening, really listening, and that's how I left her alone. I was so ashamed of that, and I couldn't even tell her. Maybe if I tell her she'd love me anyway.
Alice Green: Or more. She would have loved you even more. I think you should tell all this stuff to your wife.
|  Movie/TV title:
City of Angels
Character name:
Dr. Maggie Rice
Quote(s):
Maggie Rice: We fight for people's lives in here, right?
Jordan Ferris: Uh-huh.
Maggie Rice: Don't you ever wonder who it is we're fighting with?
Maggie: Are you a visitor?
Seth: Yes.
Maggie: Well, visiting hours have been over since 8.
Seth: Wh-Why do they have that?
Maggie: What?
Seth: Hours. Doesn't it help the patient to be visited?
Maggie: Well, who are you visiting? Mr. Messinger?
Seth: Right now?
Maggie: Yeah.
Seth: You.
Seth: Why do people cry?
Maggie: What do you mean?
Seth: I mean, what happens physically?
Maggie: Well... umm... tear ducts operate on a normal basis to lubricate and protect the eye and when you have an emotion they overact and create tears.
Seth: Why? Why do they overact?
Maggie: I don't know.
Seth: Maybe. Maybe emotion becomes so intense your body just can't contain it. Your mind and your feelings become too powerful, and your body weeps.
Seth: What's that like? What's it taste like? Describe it like Hemingway.
Maggie Rice: Well, it tastes like a pear. You don't know what a pear tastes like?
Seth: I don't know what a pear tastes like to you.
Maggie Rice: Sweet, juicy, soft on your tongue, grainy like a sugary sand that dissolves in your mouth. How's that?
Seth: It's perfect.
Seth: You're an excellent doctor.
Maggie: How do you know?
Seth: I have a feeling.
Maggie: That's pretty flimsy evidence.
Seth: Close your eyes. It's just for a moment.
[touches her hand]
Seth: What am I doing?
Maggie: You're touching me.
Seth: Touch. How do you know?
Maggie: Because, I feel it.
Seth: You should trust that. You don't trust it enough.
Seth: Am I too late?
Maggie Rice: Too late?
Seth: Jordan?
Maggie Rice: I couldn't marry Jordan. I'm in love with you.
Maggie Rice: Do you feel that?
Seth: Yes.
Maggie Rice: And that? How's it feel? Tell me what it feels like.
Seth: I can't.
Maggie Rice: Try.
Seth: Warm. Aching.
Maggie Rice: It's okay. We fit together.
Seth: I know.
Maggie Rice: We were made to fit together.
Maggie Rice: I don't understand a God who would let us meet, if there's no way we could ever be together.
Maggie Rice: Are you here? I want to see you. Let me see you. Just stay. Just stay until I fall asleep.
Maggie Rice: I wait all day, just hoping for one more minute with you, and I don't even know you.
Maggie Rice: Got a message for me?
Seth: I already gave it to you.
Maggie Rice: Well, did you use my pager? 'Cause I usually don't get my messages unless you beep me.
Seth: You've definitely been beeped.
Maggie Rice: Those eyes. The way he looked right, right down into me.
Maggie Rice: I'm not afraid. When they ask me what I liked the best, I'll tell them, it was you.
|  Movie/TV title:
You've Got Mail
Character name:
Kathleen Kelly
Quote(s):
Joe Fox: You're crazy about him...
Kathleen Kelly: Yes. I am.
Joe Fox: Then why don't you run off with him? What are you waiting for?
Kathleen Kelly: I don't actually know him.
Joe Fox: Really?
Kathleen Kelly: We only know each other - oh, God, you're not going to believe this...
Joe Fox: Let me guess. From the Internet.
Kathleen Kelly: Yes.
Joe Fox: You've got mail.
Kathleen Kelly: Yes.
Joe Fox: Three very powerful words.
Kathleen Kelly: Yes.
Kathleen Kelly: Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.
Kathleen Kelly: [Kathleen is excited at work and Christina thinks she's in love] I'm in love? No! Oh, that's right, I'm in love with Frank. I practically living with Frank.
Kathleen Kelly: [on closing her store] But the truth is, I'm heart broken. I feel as though a part of me has died and my mother has died all over again and nothing will ever make it right.
Kathleen Kelly: I love daisies.
Joe Fox: You told me.
Kathleen Kelly: They're so friendly. Don't you think daisies are the friendliest flower?
Joe Fox: It wasn't personal.
Kathleen Kelly: What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn't personal to you. But it was personal to me. It's *personal* to a lot of people. And what's so wrong with being personal, anyway?
Joe Fox: Uh, nothing.
Kathleen Kelly: Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.
Kathleen Kelly: What will NY152 say today I wonder. I turn on my computer. I wait impatiently as it connects. I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: You've got mail. I hear nothing. Not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beating of my own heart. I have mail. From you.
Kathleen Kelly: Is it infidelity if you're involved with somebody on email?
Christina Plutzker: Have you had sex?
Kathleen Kelly: No of course not. I don't even know him.
Christina Plutzker: No, I mean CYBERsex.
Kathleen Kelly: No
Christina Plutzker: Well, you know what? Don't do it- 'cause the minute you do, they lose all respect for you.
Kathleen Kelly: Once I read a story about a butterfly in the subway, and today, I saw one. It got on at 42nd, and off at 59th, where, I assume it was going to Bloomingdales to buy a hat that will turn out to be a mistake - as almost all hats are.
Matthew Fox: F-O-X
Kathleen Kelly: That is amazing - you can spell 'fox'? Can you spell 'dog'?
Matthew Fox: F-O-X
Kathleen Kelly: You don't love me.
[Frank shakes his head 'no']
Kathleen Kelly: Me, either.
Frank Navasky: You don't love me?
[they both laugh]
Frank Navasky: But we're so right for each other!
Kathleen Kelly: I know! I know.
|  Movie/TV title:
Addicted to Love
Character name:
Maggie
Quote(s):
Maggie: You know Sam, French men are very small.
Sam: Yeah?
Maggie: But not this guy. It's like Godzilla's tail! He could take down Tokyo with that thing!
Maggie: What's your name?
Sam: Mike.
Maggie: What's your name, Mike?
Sam: Sam.
[watching Anton and Linda on the camera obscura, without sound, Sam and Maggie ad-lib their conversation with French accents]
Sam: Look, my darling, I wanted to show you how well my hands fit on top of my knees, and also to give you a little...
Maggie: Get away from me. Get away from me, please. You are rude.
Sam: Oh, but I love you, my little lamb. I must have you. My love is throbbing at quite a fevered cadence.
Maggie: But you cannot have me. My love is reserved for another.
Sam: You cannot mean...?
Maggie: Yes! The Milky Way Man!
[on the screen, Anton turns away from Linda]
Sam: No, no, no! Anyone but him! No, this is a man who can predict Alpha Cluster emissions. Next to him, I am nothing. I'm a worm, I'm a little...
Maggie: Yes, I love his emissions. Not every man...
[they crack up laughing]
Maggie: ...can be the Milky Way Man.
Sam: No.
[on the screen, Anton sulks]
Maggie: What will you do now?
Sam: Forlorn, I will wander the earth by myself - thinking of you and pausing occasionally to have the sex with the skullses. Heh-heh.
Maggie: That's good. Now be quiet about that, or I will make you...
[Linda stuffs a pecan into Anton's mouth, and then licks her fingers]
Maggie: Eat another one of these pecans!
Sam: I like! Oh, this is very good.
Maggie: Look how I'm licking my fingers. You like that?
Sam: I like everything, I am French.
[hearing Anton and Linda screaming with ecstasy]
Sam: No, she's not like that! She likes to make love quiet and slow and gentle...
Maggie: Are you kidding? That girl of yours is a carnival ride!
Sam: Say what you want, Linda and I are in love.
Maggie: Yeah, except for her boning my boyfriend, you two are the perfect couple.
Sam: Listen, Catwoman. At the end of the day, she is coming back to me, and we're gonna be happy! And where are you gonna be? All alone somewhere, plotting some little revenge scheme, that's where!
Maggie: Let me tell you something, Sam. Listen to me very carefully. Are you listening?
Sam: Yes.
Maggie: The only way that girl is coming back to you is if a blast of semen catapults her across the street and through the window.
[last lines]
Sam: So I saw this episode of "Lassie" today. And Lassie was accused of a crime she didn't commit, and the Ranger was coming to put her to sleep.
Maggie: Uh-oh. How's Lassie going to get out of this one?
Sam: Well, the little boy told Lassie that she had to go away, far away.
Maggie: For her own good.
Sam: Yes, but you see, Lassie couldn't leave. Lassie just couldn't leave the boy.
Maggie: What did he do?
Sam: He told her he never liked her. He said, "I hate you, Lassie. I hate you. You're a bad dog."
Maggie: That must have made Lassie sad.
Sam: Yes, it did. Lassie trotted off, very sadly. But you know what happened? Lassie came home, Maggie.
Maggie: Did the little boy make it with Lassie?
Sam: Yes. Yes he did.
Maggie: I sleep naked. It's the only way I'm comfortable, so don't think of it as a come-on, because if you so much as breathe in my direction I will nail your willy to that beam.
Sam: He said something about having sex with my skull.
Maggie: Ah, he says that to everyone, don't worry about it.
Maggie: When I was a kid, my father had this dog that started to get all weak and sickly. He takes it to the vet, he examines it and says a maggot must have laid eggs in the dog's butt. The baby maggots have crawled up, now they've started to grow, and eventually they're gonna eat the dog alive from the inside. He says it should be put to sleep, because it's an old dog anyway. But father won't do it. He takes the dog home, he puts it on the bed, he reaches up into the dog, picking out the maggots with his finger, one by one. It takes him all night, but he gets every last one. That dog outlived my father. That's love, Sam.
Maggie: I don't want him back, I just want him vaporized, extinguished! When I'm done with him, he'll be just a twitching little stain on the floor.
Maggie: Well, that is, without a doubt, the most pathetic thing I've ever heard.
Sam: You don't understand...
Maggie: And I don't mean that in a trivial way. I'm a photographer, I've seen a lot of things. I once took pictures of a man who ate his own legs, and you would be the black sheep of that family.
[listening to Anton and Linda's boisterous lovemaking]
Sam: Oh, this is horrible! This is horr- this is worse than I'd imagined!
Maggie: Want me to turn it off?
Sam: No, no, I... I need to hear it.
Maggie: How very brave.
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