 Movie/TV title:
The Outsiders (1983)
Character name:
Sodapop Curtis
Quote(s):
[Ponyboy comes home]
Darrel Curtis: Where the hell have you been; do you know what time it is? It's 2:00 in the morning, kiddo!
Sodapop Curtis: Hey, Pony. Where you been?
Ponyboy: Fell asleep in the lot.
Darrel Curtis: You what?
Ponyboy: I was talking to Johnny and I fell asleep in the lot, didn't mean to.
Darrel Curtis: Yeah, hey!
[tries to close the bedroom door after him but Darry flings it open and follows]
Darrel Curtis: And I can't even call the cops because you two would be put in a boys' home so fast it would make your heads spin.
Sodapop Curtis: Come on, Pony. Let's go to bed now.
Ponyboy: Look, I said I didn't mean to!
Darrel Curtis: "I didn't mean to", "I forgot". That's all I ever hear from you!
Sodapop Curtis: Come on, Darry...
Darrel Curtis: You shut up! I'm sick and tired of hearing you stick up for him! You hear me?
Ponyboy: Don't you yell at him!
Darrel Curtis: [Darrel hits him] Ponyboy, I didn't mean to.
Sodapop Curtis: [In the "Complete Novel" version; after Sodapop runs out from Ponyboy and Darry's fight, Ponyboy tackles him] God damn it Ponyboy, you should have gone out for football instead of track.
Ponyboy: [On the ground] Where the hell do you think you're going?
Sodapop Curtis: I don't know, man. It's just like sometimes I have to get out. It's like I'm the middle man in a tug-of-war or something between you guys. I don't know, I can't take sides.
[Sits down. To Ponyboy]
Sodapop Curtis: Ponyboy, Darry could've put you in a boys' home, worked his way through college. I'm telling you the truth, Pony. I'm happy working at a gas station. Working with cars. I'm dumb. It's alright, I don't mind. You're not Pony. You'd never be happy doing something like that.
[to Darry]
Sodapop Curtis: Darry, you gotta stop yelling at him for every little thing he does, man. I mean he, he feels things differently than you. Bad enough to have to
[sniffling]
Sodapop Curtis: But when you start trying to get me to take sides. We're all we got left now. If we don't have each other, then we ain't got nothing. And when you ain't got nothin, you end up like Dally... I don't mean dead either, I mean, I mean how he was before. So please...
[Starts crying]
Sodapop Curtis: don't fight anymore... please...
Darrel Curtis: Sure, sure little buddy, we ain't goin' to fight anymore.
[Hugs Sodapop]
Sodapop Curtis: Ponyboy... Pony.
[Ponyboy goes over to hug Sodapop]
Sodapop Curtis: Now don't you start bawlin' too Pony. One bawl-baby in this family's enough.
Ponyboy: I ain't cryin.
Sodapop Curtis: Let's go home. I'm cold.
Sodapop Curtis: Hey, after we beat those Socs tonight, good me and Steve are gonna throw a huge party, and everyone's gonna get ripped!
Steve: OWWWW! WHOOO!
Darrel Curtis: Where you gonna get the dough, li'l man?
Sodapop Curtis: Uhhh... I'll think of something.
[Sits on couch]
Sodapop Curtis: Hey Two-bit, Mickey's on TV!
[Ponyboy has fainted and is delirious following the death of Johnny and Dally]
Ponyboy: Soda, is somebody sick?
Sodapop Curtis: Yeah, somebody's sick...
Ponyboy: Soda?
Sodapop Curtis: Yeah?
Ponyboy: Is somebody sick?
Sodapop Curtis: Yeah somebody's sick...
Sodapop Curtis: Be quiet.Get to sleep.
Darrel Curtis: Listen, with your brains and grades, you could get a scholarship, and we could put you through college, ain't that right, Soda? But you're livin' in a vaccuum, Pony, and you're gonna have to cut it out. You just don't stop living because you lose somebody. I thought you knew that. And anytime you don't like the way I'm running things around here, you can just get out, all right?
Ponyboy: You'd like that, wouldn't you? You'd like me to just get the hell out! Well it's not that easy, is it, Soda?
Sodapop Curtis: God damn, you guys! Leave me out of it!
Steve: What do you think, man? You think it makes me look tough?
Sodapop Curtis: I think it makes you look different.
Steve: What'd you mean, "different"?
Sodapop Curtis: Well, you got a hole in your mouth.
Sodapop Curtis: [to Ponyboy] Why don't you just focus on girls and cars? Works of me.
Sodapop Curtis: [runs over to an injured Ponyboy] Hey Pony... did they pull a blade on you?
Ponyboy: Yeah...
Sodapop Curtis: Hey, they ain't gonna hurt you no more.
Ponyboy: Soda, Soda are you in love with Sandy?
Sodapop Curtis: Mhmm...
Ponyboy: ...Whats it like?
Sodapop Curtis: Most of the time... its real nice.
|  Movie/TV title:
St. Elmo's Fire (1985)
Character name:
Billy Hicks
Quote(s):
Alec: You're being arrested for drunk driving.
Billy: Drunk definitely, I don't know if you could call it driving.
Billy: The wet look is in, asshole.
Alec: That's Mr. Asshole to you.
Billy: Jules, y'know, honey... this isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge.
Billy: I should have had a vasectomy at birth! Let me tell you something Al, you ever have boys, do them a favor and get them neutered straight away. If they ever knock up some little slut, they're the ones who're fucked!
[to his wife]
Billy: Fucked for life! I hate you, you little bitch!
Billy: So you lost your job? I've lost twenty of them since graduation. Plus a wife and kid. And, in a new development this morning, a handful of hair in the shower drain.
Myra: Where did you two meet?
Billy: [whisperd] Prison!
Billy: It ain't a party till something gets broken.
|  Movie/TV title:
Youngblood (1986)
Character name:
Blane Youngblood
Quote(s):
Dean Youngblood: Where else could I get beaten up every day, treated like shit by prima donna Canadians, get my nuts shaved?
Mustang Player Duane Hewitt: Fast legs, slow fists:
Dean Youngblood: The guy suckered me.
Mustang Player Duane Hewitt: Oh, poor baby. Hey, maybe next time we can send you a telegram: get ready for the right hook.
Kelly Youngblood: Don't take any shit from them Canucks. To them, you're just another wetback, crossing the border to play their game.
Dean Youngblood: They'll never catch me!
Kelly Youngblood: Oh, they'll catch you.
Kelly Youngblood: Would you rather spread manure, or play hockey in Madison Square Garden in front of 20,000 people?
Dean Youngblood: Spread manure.
Kelly Youngblood: You candy ass!
Derek Sutton: Does little boom-boom have a crush on her?
Dean Youngblood: [sarcastically] Who? Miss McGill?
Derek Sutton: Fuck you.
Blane Youngblood: You can learn to punch in the barn, but you gotta learn to survive on the ice.
|  Movie/TV title:
About Last Night... (1986)
Character name:
Danny Martin
Quote(s):
Bernie: Are you getting serious? Well, she seemed like a hell of a girl. From what little I saw of her. Not too this. Not too that. Very kind of, um, what?... Ah, what the fuck, I only saw her for a minute. First impressions of this kind can often be misleading. Does she give head?
Danny: What?
Bernie: To you, I'm saying. Does she give head to you?
[Silence]
Bernie: Forget it.
Bernie: I stole it
Danny: You did not.
Bernie: Oh, that's great, Dan. I tell you I'm a thief and you call me a liar.
Bernie: Was that the chick from last night?
Danny: Yeah, I picked up the phone and she was already on the line.
Bernie: Yeah, right. Pull this leg and it plays jingle bells.
[about their ended relationship]
Danny: I think I thought it was going to be different than it...
Debbie: than what it was really like? Me, too. Maybe we were just - too naive.
Danny: Yeah, maybe. Maybe we knew too much.
[Danny makes fun of Joan when she comes in with a cake]
Danny: Joanie! God, she looks grea... Oh, and she baked us a pie!
Joan: Your vulgarian friend is downstairs, denting innocent people's fenders.
Danny: [shouts down the stair hallway] Yoooo, Litko!
Mr. Favio: You know what you are, Martin? You're a 14-carat fuck-up, that's what you are.
Danny: Something wrong?
Mr. Favio: Goddamn smart mouth. Jesus, you got a mouth! You think people like that mouth? You think customers like it? Mr Big Shot. How come you didn't cut off that dump on canal street?
Danny: The Swallow?
Mr. Favio: Awww, I say dump and he immediately connects with the Swallow! You know what a swallow is?
Danny: Oh let me guess, it's a bird?
Mr. Favio: Yeah it's a bird, a loser bird, a dodo!
Mr. Favio: Business is business! You cut the son of a bitch off!
Danny: Oh, fuck you!
Mr. Favio: Fuck me? Fuck you!
Danny: Fuck You!
Mr. Favio: Fuck You, Martin!
Bernie: Ah, Mr Favio?
Bernie: Fuck you!
Danny: That's good! Now maybe you could find it in your heart to take this thing and shove it up your ass.
Danny: Hey, know one thing - I never screwed around on you.
Debbie: Oh, well, let's just give the boy a medal! I didn't realize it was such a sacrifice.
Danny: He is a better human being than that bitch on wheels you've got for a friend!
Danny: Oh, you're not leavin' are ya?
Joan: No, we're walking in backwards.
Danny: Did you sleep with him?
Debbie: No, Dan, we were bowling partners.
Danny: Yo, Gus. How about a refill?
Gus: Yo, Dan. You know where the coffee is.
Danny: I'm trying to impress my date.
Gus: Then you shouldn't have brought her here.
|  Movie/TV title:
Bad Influence (1990)
Character name:
Alex
Quote(s):
Michael: The last thing I remember is we were driving around Patterson's neighborhood. And I go into the office today and find out that he got beat up. And I'm standing there in the middle of everybody with dried blood all over my hand. Did we go to Patterson's last night?
Alex: Yes. We went to Patterson's.
Michael: I mean, I didn't hit him, did I?
Alex: You didn't just hit him. You beat the shit out of him.
Michael: What the hell were you doing?
Alex: Holding him down.
Alex: [to Michael] You know, you make a funny face when you come.
Alex: I'm sorry.
Michael: What?
Alex: Sorry.
Michael: Sorry? You - fuck you, you're sorry? Sorry about what? Killing Claire? Trying to kill my brother? Or maybe you're just sorry for holding a guy down while I beat him? Fuck you, you're sorry!
Alex: You won't kill me.
Michael Boll: Why not?
Alex: Because I haven't taught you that yet.
Alex: I never made you do anything that wasn't in you already. People are such hypocrites, they go through their whole lives to the day they die saying that they're innocent, but they're are not innocent. I showed you that! That's why I killed Claire Mick!
Michael: My names Michael
[pauses]
Michael: Did you get all that?
Pismo Boll: [pops up with a camera] Every word
[suddenly slips]
Pismo Boll: Watch out!
Alex: [picking up his knife] Now I'm going to show you
|  Movie/TV title:
Wayne's World (1992)
Character name:
Benjamin Kane
Quotes:
Benjamin: Wayne! Listen, we need to have a talk about Vanderhoff. The fact is he's the sponsor and you signed a contract guaranteeing him certain concessions, one of them being a spot on the show.
Wayne Campbell: [holding a Pizza Hut box] Well that's where I see things just a little differently. Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor.
Benjamin: I'm sorry you feel that way, but basically it's the nature of the beast.
Wayne Campbell: [holding a bag of Doritos] Maybe I'm wrong on this one, but for me, the beast doesn't include selling out. Garth, you know what I'm talking about, right?
Garth Algar: [wearing Reebok wardrobe] It's like people only do these things because they can get paid. And that's just really sad.
Wayne Campbell: I can't talk about it anymore; it's giving me a headache.
Garth Algar: Here, take two of these!
[Dumps two Nuprin pills into Wayne's hand]
Wayne Campbell: Ah, Nuprin. Little. Yellow. Different.
Benjamin: Look, you can stay here in the big leagues and play by the rules, or you can go back to the farm club in Aurora. It's your choice.
Wayne Campbell: [holding a can of Pepsi] Yes, and it's the choice of a new generation.
Cassandra: I love you, Wayne.
Wayne Campbell: I love you, Cassandra.
Dreamwoman: I love you, Garth.
Garth Algar: I love you, dreamwoman.
Noah Vanderhoff: You know, ever since I did your show, kids are looking at me in a whole new way.
Terry: I love you, man.
Russel: And I love you. Because I've learned that Platonic love *can* exist between two grown men.
Benjamin: And I've learned something, too. I've learned that a flawless profile, a perfect body, the right clothes, and a great car can get you far in America - almost to the top - but it can't get you everything.
Wayne Campbell: Isn't it great that we're all better people?
[beat]
Wayne Campbell, Garth Algar: Fished In!
Benjamin: Have you spoken to Wayne about the Vanderhoff spot?
Russel: Yes, briefly. He was not very receptive.
Benjamin: Oh really? Well I'll explain it to him that it's not a choice. It's in his contract
Russel: Oh. Well Wayne will understand that right away... NOT!
[Ben glares at Russ]
Russel: Excuse me!
Wayne Campbell: [after Ben orders Chinese food speaking Cantonese] This guy is good.
Benjamin: I picked up a little Cantonese while I was in the Orient. You know, you sound a lot like you're from Kowloon Bay as opposed to Hong Kong.
Cassandra: I was born in Kowloon Bay!
Benjamin: There you have it!
Wayne Campbell: This guy is really good.
Benjamin: First, let me get this out of the way - I'm a big fan.
Garth Algar: You are?
Benjamin: The way I see it; your show is capable of so much more.
Garth Algar: Well, we'll try harder, OK? Just give us a second chance. Just don't go and cancel us without giving us a second chance.
Benjamin: Do you have a lawyer?
Wayne Campbell: Yes. Ahm, no. We're between lawyers right now. You see, our first lawyer screwed our affairs so bad.
Garth Algar: That's right. I walked right to that office - that's what I did - and I reached across that desk and I grabbed him by his big fat head and I said "Listen, man. I'm not going to jail for you or for anybody."
Cassandra: I don't believe I've ever had French champagne before...
Benjamin Kane: Oh, actually all champagne is French, it's named after the region. Otherwise it's sparkling white wine. Americans of course don't recognize the convention, so it becomes that thing of calling all of their sparkling white "champagne", even though by definition they're not.
Wayne Campbell: Ah yes, it's a lot like "Star Trek: The Next Generation". In many ways it's superior but will never be as recognized as the original.
Benjamin Kane: So Garth, what do you think so far?
Garth Algar: It's like a new pair of underwear. At first it's constrictive, but after a while it becomes a part of you.
Garth Algar: [describing his feelings of the new set] It's like a new pair of underwear. At first, it's constrictive. But after awhile it becomes a part of you.
[the Vanderhoffs give him an odd look]
Garth Algar: I gotta go.
Benjamin: Hey, who wants Chinese take-out? I know a great place!
Wayne Campbell: I'll have the "cream of sum young guy".
Elyse: It's really good seeing you, Benjamin. You haven't been into Shakey's for so long.
Benjamin: Well, I've been real busy.
|  Movie/TV title:
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
Character name:
Number Two
Quotes:
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
Dr. Evil: Gentlemen, I have a plan. It's called blackmail. The Royal Family of Britain are the wealthiest landowners in the world. Either the Royal Family pays us an exorbitant amount of money, or we make it seen that Prince Charles has had an affair outside of marriage and therefore would have to divorce!
Number Two: Prince Charles did have an affair. He admitted it, and they are now divorced.
Dr. Evil: Right, people you have to tell me these things, okay? I've been frozen for thirty years, okay? Throw me a frickin' bone here! I'm the boss! Need the info.
[pause]
Dr. Evil: Okay no problem. Here's my second plan. Back in the 60's, I had a weather changing machine that was, in essence, a sophisticated heat beam which we called a "laser." Using these "lasers," we punch a hole in the protective layer around the Earth, which we scientists call the "Ozone Layer." Slowly but surely, ultraviolet rays would pour in, increasing the risk of skin cancer. That is unless the world pays us a hefty ransom.
Number Two: [pause] That also already has happened.
[in original pressings, Number Two said "That also has already been done."]
Dr. Evil: Shit. Oh hell, let's just do what we always do. Hijack some nuclear weapons and hold the world hostage. Yeah? Good! Gentlemen, it has come to my attention that a breakaway Russian Republic called Kreplachistan will be transferring a nuclear warhead to the United Nations in a few days. Here's the plan. We get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for... ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
Number Two: Don't you think we should ask for more than a million dollars? A million dollars isn't exactly a lot of money these days. Virtucon alone makes over 9 billion dollars a year!
Dr. Evil: Really? That's a lot of money.
[pause]
Dr. Evil: Okay then, we hold the world ransom for...
Dr. Evil: One... Hundred... BILLION DOLLARS!
Dr. Evil: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?
Number Two: Sea Bass.
Dr. Evil: [pause] Right.
Number Two: They're mutated sea bass.
Dr. Evil: Are they ill tempered?
Number Two: Absolutely.
Dr. Evil: Oh well, that's a start.
Austin Powers: What exactly do you do, Mr. Number Two?
Number Two: That's my business. Now if you'll excuse, I have to go to the little boys' room.
Casino Dealer: 17.
Number Two: Hit me.
Casino Dealer: You have 17, sir.
Number Two: I like to live dangerously.
Casino Dealer: [Hit for four] :21. Very good, sir.
[to Austin]
Casino Dealer: :5.
Austin Powers: I'll stay.
Casino Dealer: I suggest you hit, sir.
Austin Powers: I also like to live dangerously.
Casino Dealer: 20 beat your 5 sir. I'm sorry, sir.
Austin Powers: Well I must admit, cards aren't my bag, baby.
Number Two: Over the last thirty years, Virtucon has grown by leaps and bounds. About fifteen years ago, we changed from volatile chemicals to the communication industry. We own cable companies in thirty-eight states.
[the thirty-eight states illuminate on a map]
Number Two: In addition to our cable holdings, we own a steel mill in Cleveland.
[a steel mill miniature illuminates in Cleveland]
Number Two: Shipping in Texas.
[a ship off the coast of Texas illuminates]
Number Two: Oil refineries in Seattle.
[an oil refinery illuminates in Seattle]
Number Two: And a factory in Chicago that makes miniature models of factories.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
Number Two: Why not use your knowledge of the future to play the stock markets? We could make trillions.
Dr. Evil: Why make a trillion when we could make... billions?
Scott: A trillion's more than a billion, numbnuts.
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
Goldmember: Dr. Evil, we still have the ultimate insurance policy. May I present to you, the very sexual, the very toite, Austin Power's fahza.
Dr. Evil: His what?
Number 2: His fahza, Dr. Evil.
Dr. Evil: His farger? What's a farger?
Goldmember: His fahza. You know, the fahza.
Dr. Evil: You know Goldmember, I don't speak freaky-deaky Dutch. Okay, perv boy?
Goldmember: Fahza, his dad, dad is fahza.
Dr. Evil: Oh, his dad. His fa-ther.
Number 2: While you were in space, I created a way for us to make huge sums of legitimate money, and still maintain the ethics and the business practices of an evil organization. I have turned us into talent agency; the Hollywood Talent Agency.
Number 2: Dr. Evil, can you continue with your plan?
Dr. Evil: Of course, Number 2, our plan is SCOTTY DON'T.
Scott Evil: Oh, come on, you're such a lame ass.
Dr. Evil: Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H.
[Scott snickers]
Dr. Evil: What?
Scott Evil: Why don't you just call it operation ass-cream, you ass.
Dr. Evil: I'm sorry, did you say you want some ice cream?
Scott Evil: Yes, I'd love some chocolate ass-cream.
Dr. Evil: Perhaps later.
Number 2: Dr. Evil, I love your plan.
Dr. Evil: You do?
Frau Farbissina: Yah. It's a really good plan.
Dr. Evil: Yes Frau, on the whole Preparation H feels good.
[Scott resumes snickering]
Dr. Evil: What is it now?
Scott Evil: No, I totally agree with you. Preparation H does feel good... on the hole.
Number 2: Oy gewalt...!
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