Steve Martin Best Movies and Characters

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My pick of Steve Martins Best Movies

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Character : Neal Page

Storyline

All that Neal Page wants to do is to get home for Thanksgiving. His flight has been cancelled due to bad weather, so he decides on other means of transport. As well as bad luck, Neal is blessed with the presence of Del Griffith, Shower Curtain Ring Salesman and all-around blabbermouth, who is never short of advice, conversation, bad jokes, or company. And when he decides that he is going the same direction as Neal

Tagline

Steve Martin had no reason to panic...until John Candy came along.
What he really wanted was to spend Thanksgiving with his family. What he got was three days with a turkey
Quotes
[waking up after sharing the same bed on the motel]
Neal: Del... Why did you kiss my ear?
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: [frowns] Where's your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows...
Neal: Those aren't pillows!

[Neal and Del are watching their car burning and laughing]
Neal: How could you rent the thing without a credit card anyway? I mean you could but how could you?
Del: Oh I gave this gal behind the counter a set of shower curtain rings.
[laughs]
Neal: You can't rent a car with shower curtain rings Del.
Del: [Stops laughing] Well... your diner's club card wound up in my wallet and I just...
Neal: You STOLE it!
Del: Not exactly.
Neal: You stole it! I knew you stole it. You stole the card and then you rented a car and you burned it up! I knew you stole it.
Del: No I didn't! I found it in my wallet! I thought maybe you put it there.
Neal: WHY WOULD I PUT IT THERE?
Del: Kindness.
Neal: KINDNESS! KINDNESS! You stole it! He stole it!
Del: No I didn't. I was going to send you the card back. With whatever the rental car charge was. Plus interest. But you didn't give me your address. You just ditched me! I had no cards. I had no money. I had nothing!
Neal: [Grabs Del] Give it back!
Del: I can't!
Neal: Why not?
Del: Because!
Neal: Because why?
Del: Because when we stopped to gas up. I put the card in your wallet.
[Neal's wallet is in the glove compartment in the now burning car]
Del: You're not mad at me are you?
Neal: [Punches Del in the stomach and trips over his trunk]

Neal: I'd like one room for the night.
Del: If you're upset, maybe we should get separate rooms.
Neal: You get your own room.
Hotel Clerk: Will you be paying with credit card?
Neal: Yes. I have a Visa card... Diner's Club card... and a gasoline card.
[he lays them out - all of them are burned]
Hotel Clerk: [chuckles] These aren't... these aren't credit cards.
Neal: Do you take cash?
Hotel Clerk: Forty-two fifty.
Neal: [lays money on the table] How about seventeen dollars...
Hotel Clerk: I can't do that.
Neal: Please. Have mercy. I've been wearing the same underwear since Tuesday.
Del: I can vouch for that.
Hotel Clerk: I don't own the place, I...
[gestures towards the management office behind him]
Neal: Seventeen dollars...
Neal: [unstraps wristwatch] ... and a hell of a nice watch?

Scene from movie

Roxanne
Character name: CD "Charlie" Bales
Storyline
"Charlie", a fire chief in a small town in Washington. Roxanne rents a house for the summer to look at comets and Charlie quickly falls for her. Charlie is intelligent, funny, and sensitive, but all his fine qualities are unfortunately overshadowed by his very large nose ("Excuse me, it that your nose or did a bus park on your face?"). Charlie's friend, Chris, on the other hand, is quite attractive, but superficial and awkward with words, especially around women (he has a tendency to throw up a lot). Both men are enthralled with Roxanne, but she, in a shallow but predictable move, shows interest in the handsome Chris. Chris is tongue-tied around her -- everything that comes out of his mouth is either vulgar or indecipherable. So he asks Charlie for help. Charlie, inspired, writes 3 love letters a day to Roxanne, unbeknownst to Chris. Charlie's eloquent letters work, because Roxanne falls in love with Chris. But Chris can't meet Roxanne's expectations in person and he soon runs off with a waitress who is "pretty cute, too

Tagline

Roxanne dreamed of a handsome, intelligent, romantic man. C.D. Bales is two out of three... but looks aren't everything!

Quotes

C.D. Bales: [challenged to think of twenty jokes better than "Big Nose"] Let's start with... Obvious: 'scuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? Meteorological: everybody take cover, she's going to blow! Fashionable: you know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like... Wyoming. Personal: well, here we are, just the three of us. Punctual: all right, Delbman, your nose was on time but YOU were fifteen minutes late! Envious: Ooooh, I wish I were you! Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear! Naughty: uh, pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away. Philosophical: you know, it's not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's IN IT that matters. Humorous: laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze, and it's goodbye, Seattle! Commercial: hi, I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95! Polite: uh, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo. Melodic: Everybody. He's got...
Everyone: [singing] The whole world in his nose!
C.D. Bales: Sympathetic: aw, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God? Complimentary: you must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on. Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides? Obscure: whoa! I'd hate to see the grindstone. Well, think about it. Inquiring: when you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid? French: saihr, ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave! Pornographic: finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once! How many is that?
Dean: Fourteen, Chief!
C.D. Bales: Religious: the Lord giveth... and He just kept on giving, didn't He? Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair? Paranoid: keep that guy away from my cocaine! Aromatic: it must wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee... in Brazil. Appreciative: Oooh, how original! Most people just have their teeth capped.
[he pauses, pretending to be stumped, while the crowd urges him on]
C.D. Bales: All right. Dirty: your name wouldn't be Dick, would it?

C.D. Bales: [after Mayor Deebs tells him about his idea to use a cow as the Oktoberfest mascot] I think it's brilliant! What an idea! And I was there! He took the idea! He saw it ripe on the tree, he plucked it, and he put it in his pocket. It's, it's, dare I say... genius? Ah, no, no! But maybe, ooh! ah! maybe it is! Maybe I'm in the presence of greatness, maybe I just don't know it. But I saw it...

C.D. Bales: [to two drunks that have just made fun of his nose] I really admire your shoes.
Drunk #1: What?
C.D. Bales: I love your shoes.
Drunk #2: What do ya mean?
C.D. Bales: And I was just thinking: as much as I really admire your shoes, and as much as I'd love to have a pair just like them, I really wouldn't want to be IN your shoes at this particular time and place.

Scene From Movie

Parenthood

Character name: Gil Buckman

storyline

The story of the Buckman family and friends, attempting to bring up their children. They suffer/enjoy all the events that occur: estranged relatives, the "black sheep" of the family, the eccentrics, the skeletons in the closet, and the rebellious teenagers

Tagline

The director of "Splash," "Willow" and "Cocoon" brings you a comedy about life, love and the gentle art of raising children.

Quotes

Gil: What's the matter, honey? you don't feel so good?
Taylor: Yeah.
Gil: You feel like you wanna throw up?
Taylor: Ok
[barfs all over Gil, and starts crying]
Karen: Oh Taylor, baby... Gil, why are you standing there?
Gil: Waiting for her head to spin around.

[Gil sees Justin wearing nothing but a gunbelt]
Gil: That's what you're wearing to bed? You'll catch a cold!
[Justin puts on a cowboy hat]
Gil: Perfect!
[Karen enters]
Gil: Karen, how about after the kids are asleep... (referring to Justin.) I wear this outfit?

Gil: They call me Cowboy Gil, as in guil-ty. I saw Cowboy Dan. I didn't like the look on his face. It was like this...
[smiles goofily]
Gil: ... so I killed him. I blew a hole in him this big. Actually it was about this big. You know, when I think about it, that hole was about THIS BIG! And his guts were spilled out all over the floor. As I was walkin' away, I slip around on his guts. A couple of other people came by and started slippin' on his guts too. After I blow a hole in somebody and slip around on their guts... afterwards, I always like to make balloon animals. That's mighty courteous of you. Here we go!
[holds up jumbled of twisted balloons]
Gil: Your lower intestines.

Scene From Movie

Last update: Jul 27 2009, 8:31 PM EDT by moviefan68 (content history | content tools) (help)

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