10 Worst Movies of All Time

I was thinking of what movie to put next on my "10 worst movies of all times", and honestly, I didn't expect this one to land there.
This is one of the most stupid movies I have ever seen, I'm seriously concidering if these characters were more stupid than the ones in "The thing"!

***SPOILER WARNING***

So we have Mr Perfect Daddy of the year, mr Farmer... and he is a farmer! *rolls eyes*
He is an ex-military space whatever, he was excused from the job, probably because NASA already realized what a maniac they were dealing with.

Anyway, Farmer has a perfect daddy dream, not the usual like making your family sucessful, living in a nice home, getting the dreamjob or going on a vacation around the world.
His dream is to build his own little rocket, launch it into space - and that's it.

Unfortunately for mr perfect Daddy, >his< perfect daddy killed himself because he couldn't make his dream come true (whatever that was), because the mean goverment decided to stop him. So he put a gun against his head and shot himself, leaving his wife and kids. And perfect daddy tells his air-headed wife the bullet is still going and heading his way, but she dosen't get the hint.

Anyways, Mr perfect daddy has a perfect little family, a wife Aubrey, their son Shepherd (the name is a reference to farming stuff, but it's a nice name still) who is 15 and a set of twin girls who look 6, who has the worst name combination in the world: Stanley and Sunshine
I thought they were joking when they called one of the girls "sunshine", I thought it was something instead of calling them "Darling". Yikes!
I don't know what was worst though, Stanley or Sunshine. Terrrrible names.
They could have named them Uniqueaella and Harry, wouldn't have made a difference!

The wife is an airhead and her purpose in life is saying "Yes hunny!" to anything that perfect daddy desires. Even though in reality she hates the rocket, she just brushes it off.
He even looses his weddingring in the rocket, she throws a fit about it, but he dosen't even bother looking for it. Because he is perfect daddy!

The son has no friends and loves the idea of daddy going to space. He never says no and does as he is told. Perfect daddy has a perfect son - convenient.

The two girls excist to promote people to name their kids badly.

Also, the mommy has a daddy, so that will be grandpa, who only has one purpose in this movie: Telling perfect daddy what a perfect daddy he is.

Back to the story. Perfect Daddy has decided he IS going to space, so he puts all of the familys money towards building a rocket from scraps from a "rocket yard" with stuff that NASA obviously didn't need anymore, you know, like a full-working engine and parts to make a perfect rocket and capsule.

They family is 600.000 $ in debt, but the wife is oblivious to this because perfect daddy handles and spends all the money on his rocket to persue his dream.
Who cares about sending the kids to collage when you can be in space for 2 days?
One day, daddy's "mean" friend at the bank decides they aren't going to give him anymore cash (because you know, he is a risk for not paying back), so perfect daddy throws a tantrum and smashes a brick in to the window of the bank where his "mean" friend is working.
The police is summoned and they both go to court to settle things.

The judge tells daddy to apologize to the bank and then everything is fine. I mean, he just broke a window, of course he dosen't need to pay for it since he owes the bank 600,000 $ already!!
The judge decides that daddy should see a shrink, because he thinks he is nuts.
Daddy character throws a tantrum there too and then walks away, so shrink let's it go.
Good thing temper tantrums works when you are over 40!

Oh, and while he is in debt with 600,000$, what is the most important thing to buy for your family?
A CAROUSEL!!!
Where the ¤"#¤ did he get the money???
I'm starting to think this guy lays golden eggs or something, because honestly, neither mom or dad seems to WORK!

So let's talk about >where< he plans to build this rocket.
They have a little house in the middle of nowhere and have a little wooden barn beside the house.
Yes, he is going to build a rocket inside the barn, a barn that is, what, 200 meters away from the house?

At this point I was feeling extreme headache and nasious, but believe me, it gets a LOT worse.

Daddy needs permission from the evil government to launch the rocket, and you know, all the "meanies" in this movie was thinking the same thing I did: This guy is nuts, but him in restrains or shoot him!
He gets newspress to promote his rocket launching and FBI shows up to inspect the rocket, because what he is doing is illegal and dangerous to others.
But this movie has one theme: Perfect daddy has a dream, and you should do whatever you can to fulfill that dream!

The government has a meeting with perfect daddy to discuss the permission to launch the rocket.
They ask him an important question, "How do we know you aren't building a missile?"
His perfect daddy answer: "If I was building one, you wouldn't know about it."
That right there and then would have made him locked up if I was judging this thing!

So they say no, but perfect daddy dosen't give a !#¤"!, so he takes his kids out of school to stay home for one month and work on this rocket - whaaaaaat?
What could they possibly contribute?
Especially the 6 year old girls!
Mommy throws a fit, but gives into daddy's perfect charms and let's the kids stay out of school. *headdesk*

The government dosen't like that daddy dosen't stop, so they freeze the family's bank account. Now airhead wife realizes that the family is in big debt when her credit cards don't work at the store.
For the first time, she gets really mad and screams and yells at perfect daddy for not telling her about the debt and that they will have no food.
Well, perfect daddy has one of his temper tantrums and airhead mommy forgives him.
I mean, he's just destroying their lifes to fulfill one stupid dream, not so bad, eh?

Anyway, one day perfect daddy just randomly decides to go up into space, so he starts the rocket and, whoops, two things.
1: The blast makes all the windows of the house shatter and his wife was standing right next to them. She could have been killed!
2: The rocket fails to launch, and seconds whoops, it tilts.
Now the weird and most stupid thing of the movie happens. For some WEIRD reason the rocker dosen't blow up, instead it shoots the capsule perfect daddy is sitting in and it shoots out of the rocket in like 500 mph... heading straight for a fair filled with people!
But magically, not only do they see this capsule in time, EVERYBODY jumps out of sight in perfect time so that nobody gets burned or hurt, though magically you see the whole fair destroyed. Come on!

Perfect daddy crashes several miles away, but it takes airhead wife just 5 minutes to drive there just in time to take her #"¤#"¤head husband to hospital.
I was actually kind of hoping for him to die, I mean, he could have killed both his family and a lot of innocent people!
Come on, if that rocket had tilted the wrong way, the capsule would have shoot straight through the house!

At the hospital things look good, he has... "Severe headtrauma, 6 broken ribs, mulitble facial lacerations" and the rest I don't remember, because I was just enjoying the fact that the idiot was seriously hurt.
When airhead wife asks how serious, the doctor says "You should be glad he is still alive".

While wife and kids bawl their eyes out, I'm sitting in a cozy armchair grinning from one ear to the other, finally the idiot is going down - what a great ending!

But nooo, not only does he fully recover - despite of "severe" headtrauma - within a week he is up walking with only need of one crutch. So he is back to - rebuilding his rocket!!! *headdesk*
But boohoo, they don't have enough money, so they can't - HAHA.

Then randomly grandpa just dies - he just falls asleep on the coach and never wakes up again. Come on, the guy wasn't even coughing - how could he just fall asleep and die? Ruptured artery in the brain?!

Conviniently, grandpa leaves an insane amount of cash behind - enough money to both cover the bank-debts AND for airhead wife to give her husband money enough to buy a new rocket!!!
What, was he just sitting on millions of dollars and didn't even bother to help them with the debt???
I also love how the wife shows perfect daddy the cash, she has put millions of dollars in - a paper bag!

So daddy is back to persue his dream, so he rebuilds the rocket within a couple of days (if he magically builds the rocket so fast, why did it take him so long the first time??)
Oh, and he does this aaaaalll by himself and the help of his family.

And when the rocket launches, the only person who is the techincian is... *drumroll*.... the 15 year old son!
And of course perfect daddy goes to space, finds his wedding ring and then come back to earth perfectly safe and the movie ends before they realize they've got no money left because they spent it all on the stupid rocket!!

UH!

Another "Saw" rip-off, this movie obviously only done for the cash-in, because this stinking pile of s--t is bad in every single way possible!

The camera job is simply awful, the camera is constantly shaky and looks more like somebody filming his friends for a casual outing. I could do it better!

The sound quality is horrible, the backgroundmusic is much louder than the actual actors voices, the voices sound like they are several meters away, when in fact they are sitting right in front of the camera, making it hard to hear what they are saying. "The voice" is almost impossible to understand. You can also hear clearly that the voices are of much lower quality than the backgroundmusic, maybe the music was made louder on purpose to try to hide their "mistake"?

The story is exactly like Saw, random people waking up in a warehouse and a "voice" tells them what they have to do... Surprised? But because it's impossible to hear what they are saying, I'm not sure what they were supposed to do - because they seem to do nothing! There seemed to be no plot, no goal, just.... uh... I don't even want to try to explain it...

The characters... um... they excist. That's about it. They hardly say a word, they talk a little to each other. That's it.

***SPOILER WARNING***

The acting was horrible, if you can even call it acting... I can imagine the director saying "OK, we only shoot this once. You read this note and look very confused." Because that's the feeling you get. It's obvious the blonde woman hasn't read the notes before reading them.
A perfect example of how bad the acting is...
A woman and a guy walks around talking to several other "victims", they all wake up in coffins in the same warehouse.
After talking to one of the victims, they go to the next one. There was some brownhair woman who gave some information and when I watched the movie I thought "Why don't they go back and ask the brownhaired woman for some more information? She seemed to know a lot..."
Well, the reason they didn't was because she DIED while they talked to her. ¬_¬

The set where this was filmed was used 90% of the movie, it's just a gigantic warehouse room. I almost laughed out loud when the blonde woman and the guy walked some metres and she says "We are walking around in circles".

A total waste of time. Really. I did not enjoy a single moment watching this!

The only thing worth watching was the "Rabbit humping". That was the most disturbing thing ever. XD

I don't know what was the worst about this crap - but I think the fact that this attempt looks SERIOUS is the winner! D:

*SPOILER WARNING*

So some dudes takes one of Nessie's eggs and she gets %¤!"#! off, so she eats them except for a teen guy.
Then she waits some 30 (!) years before she decides she's gonna kill some random people.
Then stock characters are going to defeat Nessie and her evil army of spawns before they eat everybody - yikes!

Actually, I don't know if the "30 years" was some factory error, because the movie starts in 1975, then it just says "present day" and this movie was made 2007, but the same teen guy from 75 is still int he movie the exact same age!
I actually think they used the same actor for another character and the "teen guy" from 30 years ago is supposed to be the "cool dude" in a hat, but honestly, I couldn't concentrate on this crap enough to see the connection.

The acting was terrible, I was cringing in pain. I especially hate that hotty sheriff or whatever she was, she's the perfect example of looks before skills.
The actors just seem dead/zombie-like through-out the whole movie.
Watching somebody being eaten alive?
Not that bad, right?

The story was beyond predictable, the usual concept and the usual goody-goody characters end up in dangerous situations and get out of it within seconds.
Nessie and her spawns can actually WALK on land, but do the actually walk where the goody-goody characters are?
Of course not!!

The most stupid thing is some old man that wants to take a picture of Nessie. He throws meat into the lake. Then he turns his back to the lake to adjust the camera and then Nessie stands behind him.
Seriously creeped the "#&%# out of me.
But what ruins this perfection is that Nessie bites his arms off and he just stands there like "Oh, where did my arms go?" >_<

Unfortunately I must admit that Nessie was nicely animated. ;_;
They did a much better job between computer animation and people than in "Komodo VS Cobra".

Oh my god!!!
Does this movie EVER end???

Unfortunately this isn't 2,5 hours of suspension, the pace is just terrible!
Two attacks, then they just talk and argue,

Stock charaxters, silly "meanies", you can predict the plot looong before the characters do.

***SPOILER WARNING***


The creature itself is a big dissapointment, it is described as very muscular and smart, but it just seems to randomly swim around, it dosen't really do anything.
The movie describes it as learning how to use its "hands", but it seems more like to me that the Shark needs to build up its self-esteem to be able to kill anybody!

The acting wasn't good either, the characters seemed emotionelly dead, I honestly couldn't tell if Kimo was the boyfriend of the girl or not.
The characters also don't seem to care when somebody dies, they just shrug it off casually.

But honestly, the biggest problem is the pace. Nothing happens!
When you feel like the movie should end, there's still 1,5 hours to go!
It seems that EVERY time they found out something about the shark/creature, then they suddenly find out ANOTHER THING that had nothing to do with the previous discovery, but still adds to why they need to do OTHER THINGS to kill the creature!
And it took the characters at least an hour to figure out that "Werewolf" was a part of the experiment - I FIGURED IT OUT THE SECOND I LOOKED AT HIM!!!
Then it just adds this thing that isn't relevant to earlier, then adds that, adds, adds...
You want it to end and this point, you are cheering for the shark to kill the main characters to get it over with already!

But you know it won't from the start.

Do you want to torture somebody?
Make them watch this, I will garantee you they will hate you for the rest of their life.
Their eyes will be sore from watching horrible acting, their ears will bleed from the worst script in history and their brains will explode from the "funny" comedy in this movie aimed for 4-year olds.

The problem with this movie is that it's trying to be horror, comedy and drama at the same time. All fail.
The horror is a mammoth possed by aliens (???) that comes to life and suck souls out of people. The mammoth looks nothing like a mammoth and is way too small. It also has the ability to sneak out of a museum even though it is too big for the doors.
The drama is a scientist who is always late and can't keep any promises to his daughter (think Hook), which we've seen a gazillion times before and we know they will be friends in the end. Predictable and head-ache inducing.

But the worst is by far the comedy. Especially the scientist dad who slips on floors and people falling off roofs with cartoon music playing.
I can imagine a 4 year old laughing, but I got the worst headache ever watching it, it was just emberrasing.

So basically, the movie shifts between all these different aspects, making it a un-funny, un-scary and predictable drama. Utter crap. Not worth a rental.

And who was the monster, really?
The mammoth or the "heroes"?
Basically, they know a 18 ton Mammoth that is highly aggressive is on the loose - and they don't warn anybody!
They bascially let people die and only care about themselves and how to stop the mammoth, they even go into a cafeteria and order some milkshakes and don't tell the waitress she might be killed if she stays!
If that wasn't bad enough, they team up with a FBI agent who tells Daddy that if the mammoth dosen't die, the goverment will nuke the whole city and kill everybody.
That was just unbelievable...

I hate this movie so much, I hate John Carpenter. I hate Kurt Russel's character so much I can't watch Kurt in ANY movie anymore without thinking about MacReady and wanting Kurt Russel to get off the screen or his character getting hit by lightning and dying on the spot. It really is that bad. I get so mad when I think about how this movie was handled!

*****SPOILER WARNING****

So 12 men are trapped in Antarctica with a thing-monster that spills some DNA and, oops, suddenly somebody is infected and then they randomly turn into a monster to make the few outstanding special effects this movie has to offer.

So the OBVIOUS thing would be sticking together at all times, always keeping the flamethrowers with you and make sure nothing gets contaminated?
Not these guys.

The problem is, I LIKED the characters (except for Macready and Garry), they all seemed really interesting with good qualitys. Especially Windows and Nauls are my favorite because they seemed like very caring and fun to be with persons, my third favorite is Palmer because he is just too cool.
The rest of the characters are hard to find things to like about, because they are not given much personality. Childs seemed to be a cool character, but he rarely gets any lines and he dosen't do much. In the original script for the movie (which I've read), he is a COMPLEYELY different person.

Anyway, just leave it at that I liked the characters and want them to survive.
Except for Macready and Garry. Garry is so ¤%#¤% stupid, he shoots a Norwegian dead.

The movie starts off with "a thing" clone kills almost all the dogs, the monster gets burned and people go back to normal, but they agree to always stay together. (which is, surprisingly, Macreadys suggestion)

The first thing they do is starting to leave characters by themselves. DUH!
Bennings and Windows leaves a body they found at a camp in a shed and Windows leaves, leaving Bennings alone. He gets instantly "copied" and becomes a monster. Windows discovers him and gets Macready and the others.
The monster hasn't completely copied Bennings, so they start burning him.

The scene cuts to Macready getting some more gasoline and some more flamethrowers, because he loves frying people (ironi).
Garry comes in and tells him that he and Bennings have been best friends for 10 years (which you could NEVER guess, because you only see them together when they play some cardgame for a couple of seconds, and you can only tell Garry is by the table if you want to notice)
Macready says they have to burn the monster - what does Garry do?
NOTHING!!!!
He just kind of accept they will burn his friend!!!
That is so stupid and unrealistic, it also makes me angry with John Carpenter. Would he REALLY not care about his best friend dying this way?
So they just burn Bennings and he is never mentioned again for the remainder of the movie.

Then I don't remember in which order things happen, but they discuss a blood test on how to find out people are this thing.
Now here is a mayor plot hole.
Later in the movie Palmer is discovered to be the monster, but they don't show where he is, he dosen't do much things, he has 2 small arguments with Windows, that's about it.
Anyway, they have another group discussion and they discover the blood has been contaminated and the blood test can't be done.
Windows runs away in fear.
Now here it proves just how bad John Carpenter is at character development. If you've watched "other movies with Windows actor, you know Thomas Waites can act. In one movie, his character panics, sits in a corner with a gun and cries.
Carpenter was obviously inspiried by this, Winows runs away, grabs a gun and refuses to put it down. They just randomly talks him out of it and he puts the gun on the floor.
No crying, because John Carpenter don't want to show men crying, so Windows just stands there quiet until they leave.

Many clues are left that indicates that Macready is the monster, but of course Macready can't die, because John Carpenter loves him, so anytime anybody accuses Macready, it is instantly forgotten.

Nauls and Macready goes to Macreadys apartment, Nauls cuts him off and gets back. Of course Macready gets back safe, because WHY would the monster hurt Kurt Russel???
Anyway, big argument, Macready threathens to blow himself up and the others with dynamite.
Norris gets a heartattack, they take him to the infimary.
In the infirmary, Clark gets suspicious of Macready and tries stabbing him with a knife, macready shoots and kills him!!!
The famous "doctors arms get decapitated" scene happens, monster scene, then they burn Norris.
When he died, the first time I saw the movie, I cried so much I had to leave the room. Nobody in the movie cares though.

Oh yeah, Fuchs randomly commits suicide because HE IS LEFT ALONE!!!
Do I need to stress this enough???
And nobody cares.
And Blair is locked up in a shed, so of course he is a monster now.

Then they find out that they can do the blood test by cutting their fingers and get fresh blood. Palmer turns into the monster and attacks Windows.
Palmer dies because Macready kills him, then Windows starts turning into the thing and Macready kills him too.
That's three people!!!
Then they find out Clark wasn't a monster, but still human, so Macready murdered him and Clark was innocent.
But who cares? Because it's Kurt Russel!!!!

Anyway, then they decide to burn the whole camp down, because the monster don't like heat. Of course Macreadys idea.
And what do they do?
They are now 4 people left, of course THEY LEAVE CHILDS BEHIND!!!!!!!!!
***headesk x56 times!!***

Nauls, Garry and Macready goes to the shed, Blair is gone and they find a hole and go down. Blair-monster has started to repair its spaceship. How the hell did he do this in 1-2 days???
Where did it get the parts???
How did the UFO get there???
Anyway, guess what?
The men SEPEREATE.... walks DIFFERENT PATHS... and Blair kills Garry. What happens to Nauls is never shown, I guess Carpenter wanted to avoid racism, because nothing monster-like happen to the black men.

Anyway, of course Nauls and Garry die, but MACREADY, Kurt Russel, survives!!!
Then you expect a nice monster-scene for the ending because now you know Blair is the monster.
Well, the animation couldn't be done, so we see 4 seconds of Blair-monster, Macready says "go to hell" and blasts the monster to pieces.
Then Childs shows up, they talk.
The End.

This movie is just horrible, I only like the special effects, but the movie is so stupid I can't watch it.

Woman dosen't want to marry a guy, so her family curses her which makes her throw up snakes and slime. Her new boyfriend tries to... I don't know, relieve the curse or something? He says some random spanish and puts the snake in a jar. To pass time, we see some uninteresting characters like some teenagers, some family with a kid and some drugdealers and... well, it's just a mess. The ending was the most stupid thing I have ever seen!

One of the absolute worst movies ever, the "humour" was stupid and often tasteless. The cat in the bathroom was so disgusting I almost threw up my dinner. And believe me, I can eat and watch a movie at the same time no matter what they do... but that was just... Ew. And if that wasn't bad enough, the whole scene with the pot was disgusting.

This earns a spot on the "10 worst movies of all time" list because of the worst logic in all mankind EVER!
I actually would've rated this movie better than 3, but seriously, 3 can't be dumber than this movie is.

***SPOILER WARNING***
OK, so the movie makes the most common mistakes movies make: Kill off one of the main characters.
So little brother gets eaten by a shark one night and then mommy Ellen (who's now a grandma) is convinced that this was... eh, a shark that has made it personal to kill all Brody's? WHY???
Anyway, Mike (the other son) convinces her to come down to the Bahamas, because sharks "don't like the warm water", which is an understatement, shark DIES in warm water. So she agrees. And the shark... TADA... FOLLOWS her to the Bahamas in just two days.
So not only do we have a Shark on persnoal levels, we have a supershark that swims superfast. *uh!*

Anyway, Ellen meets love interest Hoagie who is one of the 2 comic reliefs in the movie. So what happened to Mr Brody?
Apparently he died of heart attack "induced by a shark attack". Eh...what?
That is what Ellen says. Anyways she quickly forgets about her husband and falls for Hoagie.

Mike has a daughter now, Tia played by the cute Judith Barsi, the only character like-able in this movie.

Mike works as something, I don't know what, but he marks snails to track how far they travel for some project. He has his jamaican comic relief friend who I forgot the name of, so let's just call him Jake.
So they spend all day long marking snails and one day shark shows up to eat Mike. And since Mark is terrified of sharks, the first idea they come up with is: Study the shark!
I mean, who cares that his wife and kids might be in danger or the townspeople for that matter? What if his wife decides to go for a swim in water where a shark is?
Nah, just study the shark a little and everything is fine.
Complete change of character in Mike, he would NEVER do that.
Oh, and how did the Shark survive in the water?
Oh wait, this is "supershark", stupid question.
Supershark even recognizes who is a Brody or not, when Jake is in the water it dosen't attack him, because it only wants to kill Brody's. o_o
That's bizarre right there.

Oblivious to the danger in the water, wifey shows off her model creation on shore and Tia goes to ride a"banana-boat" that goes straight to the deep water.
Ellen just stands on shore watching things.
Then shark shows up and attacks the bananaboat and eats unknown girl that sits just behind Tia.
That's right, if Tia would have sit on the end of the bananaboat, she would be DEAD.
Then we see some horrible acting when wifey and Ellen realizes that Tia is in danger.
Seeing the poor innocent Tia in that situationen almost brought me to tears, wifey and Ellen screams a bit, but honestly dosen't seem to care. UH!
People get Tia and the others left on the boat to safety, then Ellen for some weird reason decides to go "sacrifice" herself to the shark to stop the attacks. Did I mention bizarre earlier? It dosen't compare to this. o_o
I mean, why not take the kid to some county with NO sharks?

Home comes Mike and hears about the attack and sees Tia is in shock. He tells his wife he knew about the shark, she gets angry with him, but he dosen't care about his daughter, because now he heard his mom took the boat out. So he asks Hoagie to help them, so they take Hoagie's plane to follow her boat.

THIS MOVIE IS SO STUPID I DON'T WANT TO WRITE THE REST OF THE REVIEWS BECAUSE MY HANDS HURTS, BUT I MUST WRITE THE STUPID ENDING!!! >_<

So Hoagie, Mike and Jake takes the plane out and they find Ellen. Her boat is attacked by the shark (how f---ing suprising!). They actually don't bring any kind of weapon to find the shark or tell any authority to get help. -_-
Hoagie magically lands the plane fine, Mike and Jake swims to the boat, but OOPS, the shark attacks the plane and pulls Hoagie under. Boohoo :P
So the others get really sad he is dead, but then he shows up just fine and tells them the shark "had a bad breath". o_o
Then they try to figure out a smart way to kill the shark, because the boat is broken. -_-

Bizarre dosen't even describe the ending.
Jake make some weird device to... eh... "flash" the shark to disturb it's natural... something.
Anyway, the flashing makes the shark confused.
But when implenting the thing, Jake gets eaten by the shark, he is seen in the sharks mouth bleeding heavily.
The others scream, tralalala, Jake is gone.
So Mike gets angry, so he takes a camera and flashes the shark.
The shark jumps up and down in the water ROARING. XD
I admit this was hilarious, because it was so stupid.
Then Ellen has memories of things she never witness, especially when her husband tells the shark "Die you son a b---".
Ellen drives some long pole on the boat into the jumping shark and it.... EXPLODES!!!! O_O
How the hell did it EXPLODE???
And then the boat capsizes and sinks for no reason what-so-ever. o_o

And then Jake shows up, coughing blood. Where the hell did he come from? How did he get away from the sharks mouth?
And he survives. Everybody survives.

And then the movie ends. -_-

I can't believe I watched the whole thing.