2004: The Year in Review

Held top honours for superhero films in my book. Before The Dark Knight came out, anyway. Aunt May's preachy speeches are a bit much, but otherwise this movie hits all the right notes. We have a visually and emotionally interesting villain, several terrific action sequences (especially the train fight), and a great script by Alvin Sargent that knows the film's protagonist isn't the costume, but the boy underneath it. Molina is excellent as Ock, and the movie itself stands as one of the best blockbusters ever made.

Payne's filmography paves the road to this road trip nicely. The fantastic Election was an absurd comedy inflected with human drama. About Schmidt was a deeply dramatic movie with lightening touches of absurdity. With Sideways, he seems to have struck the perfect balance between the two. The film rides the emotions of its characters, with sinking lows and hilarious highs. If it defies categorization, it's because it's real -- its performances are honest portraits of real people, not contrived characters designed to enact a tried plot. Million Dollar Baby was good, but for my money, this was the Best Picture of 2004.

I can easily say, without a shred of hyperbole, that this is one of the best action films ever made.

Full review to come.

Steve Zissou: Let me tell you about my ship...

There is so much to love about this movie. On top of the typical Anderson quirks and dry wit, we have a GREAT cast, Henry Selick providing stop-motion sealife, Seu Jorge rocking Bowie in Portuguese, and an end-credits sequence lifted straight out of Buckaroo Banzai (complete with Jeff Goldblum!). It's about daddy issues of course, but at its heart it is a loving ode to the adventure of filmmaking. Anderson's funniest, and I tear up at the finale every time.

I don't understand how Jamie Foxx recieved a nomination for Best Supporting Actor for this flick. Sure he may get second-billing, but he is far and away the star of this Michael Mann-helmed thrill ride. Cruise steps outside of his comfort zone and is quite good as a cold and calculated hitman, and for my money, Foxx is even better here than he was in 'Ray'. The film starts out as a fresh and original flick, but seems to lose its personality with an auto-pilot ending. Shot completely on a hand-held digital, this is the first movie I've seen that actually looks like it exists in reality (though 'Miami Vice' looks like it will build off this visual style). It's not perfect, but it is great. One of the best films of 2004.

I love movies about movies, and this is one of the best. 'Baadasssss!' is a lovesong to filmmaking, but first and foremost, a touching tribute to a father from a son. Surprisingly, Mario Van Peebles doesn't idealize his dad Melvin: as the writer, director and star of the film, he crafts on honest portrait showing the real man, warts and all. A great underdog story. Nay, a great film.

More of an action movie than its horror predecessor, the first 10mins of this flick are absolutely flawless -- my favourite intro to any movie I've seen. The movie has a few scares in it, a number of morbid laughs, but all in all, it's just down-right cool. Weber (TV's 'Medium', 'Mind of the Married Man') is fantastic as the everyman-turned-hero, and first-time director Zack Snyder establishes himself as one to watch.

Shrugged off by many a Canadian hockey fan as "more American propaganda," but many a Canadian hockey fan needs to get over themselves. This really is a great story, a true David vs Goliath with pertinant political undertones. Kurt Russell has never been better, and director Gavin O'Connor gives the coolest game on ice its just desserts. (This slogan never made much sense to me, however. As far as I can tell, isn't hockey the only game on ice? Curling is a pass-time at best. ... Anyways: O'Connor.) His on-ice camera systems show the game like you've never seen it before, and hot-damn it's exciting. Yet, by putting as much attention to detail into the political implications of "the big game", and the culture of the time it was played in, he creates a movie that is more than inspiring; it's iconic. Hockey may be my favourite sport by a country mile, but this isn't bias talking: this is one of the best damn sports movies ever made.

I saw this movie having never seen the original and still found myself pulled into its characters. This is a movie all about dialog, which is good, because the dialog is amazing and the actors deliver it perfectly (which shouldn't be surprising, as they're both given co-writing credits). Having now seen the first one, I'm not sure a sequel was necessary, but am quite glad it exists.

Mamet's super-spy thriller plays like a braniac's '24: The Movie', but it's so much better. It moves at a mile a second, never stopping to tell you what's happening. The mark of a great film? That you always know regardless. Kilmer pushes the thing forward with a compelling performance, one his best. The real star, however, is Mamet's odd-ball dialogue. The plot itself is never clear until its over, and even then you're left putting pieces together. You can almost see its shape, at least you think you can, but it's been photographed at the far-side of the bar in a Tony Scott film -- it's just that murky. Throw in William H. Macy, Ed "Al Bundy" O'Neill and a pre-'Veronica Mars' Kristen Bell, and I'm in, every time.

Harold: "I want that."
Kumar: "What? A Hot Dog Heaven super chili cheese dog?"
Harold: "No. I want that feeling. The feeling that comes over a man when he gets exactly what he desires. I need that feeling!"
Kumar: "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
Harold: "We gotta go to White Castle."

You don't necessarily need to smoke pot to find this stoner comedy appealing, but it certainly helps. (The same could be said for the movie's racial humour and not needing to be a minority, but as a middle-class white guy known to imbibe the marijuana, I'll stay out of that and stick to what I know). Trailers for this movie sold it as "From the guy who brought you Dude, Where's My Car? comes That Asian Guy from American Pie, and The Indian Guy from Van Wilder..." I guess that makes it a rather unconventional success, given there is little to no star power on display here outside of a few notable supporting cast members that show up for their one cameo scene, and yet the movie built an audience for itself simply off its premise: two guys smoking weed on a Friday night get overcome by the munchies, and a delicious-looking TV commercial convinces them only White Castle burgers can scratch the itch. That's the over-arching plot -- pretty self-evident from the title, really -- but of course, making it to White Castle isn't that easy.

This is a movie built for stoners. Not only that, it was pretty much made to watched while high. That said, I can watch it sober and find it absolutely hilarious, as can people who have never in their lives smoked the stuff. It's just good goofy gross-out slapstick, with a side order of gut-busting racial jokes. Everyone's a target here: whites, blacks, jews, indians, asians. The jokes fly fast and furious, and I can't think of a single sequence that misses the mark. Most noteworthy is the 'blacks in jail' scene, which, as an intermission, has a 'Kumar Marries a Big Bag of Pot' fantasy montage throw-in that is just hysterical. Finally, if for no other reason, the sight of Neil Patrick Harris sniffing cocaine off a hooker's ass makes this a must-see. Doogie steals the movie.

And that's all there is to say, really. The movie is relatively short (clocks in at under an hour and a half), and the plot is constantly moving forward. Each side-character gets their one scene to make an impression, and then boom, it's on to the next one. Because of this, there really is nothing to gripe about here. Sure it's juvenile, but it's consistently clever and funny and never comes close to over-staying it's welcome. If anything, it leaves you wanting more. Hopefully the up-coming sequel, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, can live up to the original, because this one is well on its way to Classic status.

Tarik: "Look at me. I'm fat, black, can't dance, and I have two gay fathers. People have been messing with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago there's no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus, I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy."

An off-beat and visually creative film with some absolutely classic scenes (the dinner table, anyone?) and a brilliant performance from Mark Wahlberg -- the best he has ever, and likely will ever, give. It's not without its flaws, but what works works so well that in the end, all is forgiven.

Hilarious. The only real satire here isn't on politics, but Bruckheimer/Bay-style action films. It's a really interesting study in the role of film soundtrack, if anything. But no political agenda -- it's actually quite critical of Hollywood pushing politics, but shows us that actors can save the world...in movies. Loses some of its charm in repeat viewings, but there's a lot of very funny stuff here and the third act kills every time. "We're guards." Some great little winks to film buffs, too.

Haunting. The pay-off isn't quite as rewarding as the movie thinks it is, but it works. Stylistically, it gnarls with a dark grit, and Bale is unbelievable. A powerful performance that elevates this entertaining film to a truly memorable experience.

Very funny children's film with a terrific soundtrack that caters more towards the adult stoner crowd than the kiddies. There are some great celebrity voices here, best of which is Alec Baldwin's bad-ass Dennis, who gets a lot of laughs. The live-action stuff works well, and Hasselhoff is just awesome. Wish they made them like this more often -- I can't think of another kids show on television now that has this kind of wit.

A stand-out performance by Tom Jane, in one of the better true-crime flicks of recent memory. A cop and a robber, Andre Stander would rob banks in disguise, and question the witnesses later that day. The heists are great fun, and the movie paints an honest portrait of a man who started out fighting the Apartheid, but lost himself in the high-risk high-reward thrills of bank robbery.

When he was first announced as Bond, I went on a Craig-kick to see his dramatic range. After Layer Cake, this was the second flick I watched, and I was blown away. Craig is great. Ifans, is better. An unexpected thriller with two masterpiece scenes of tension, Enduring Love is a high-suspense ride with few modern equals. It disturbs without scaring -- it shocks without gore. Hitchcock would be proud.

One of the few films where Tony Scott's hazy visual style and spastic editing actually works for me. It helps that the cast is uniformly strong. It's the kind of revenge flick Tom Jane's Punisher should have been, as Denzel plays Creasy as a total badass, and there are numerous memorable executions as he leaves a trail of dead bodies in his wake. Walken gets to chew on a few nice monologues as well. It's nothing amazing, but it's quite entertaining.

A very very cool and original first half is betrayed by its auto-pilot ending. Like Pirates of the Caribbean and I, Robot, you just can't feel danger when the enemy is invicible/so plentiful as to be faceless. Still, it (mostly) works as an entertaining flick. I have high hopes the sequel will learn from this one's mistakes.

Fey's script is pretty good, but it's not flawless. There are many quotable lines to be found (the best of which come from the adult cast, made up of SNLers Tim Meadows, Amy Poehler, Ana Gasteyer and Fey herself). What starts out as scathing satire, however, ends up becoming exactly what it targets. Everything winds up the way it should be; the story ties itself up in with a neat little bow; no hurt feelings are left unresolved. In other words, the exact opposite of high school.

I saw this movie in theatres on opening night, and when the final "switcheroo" went down, I was livid that I had actually spent money on "this shite". Having now seen it several times more, I can thankfully say that this movie is a lot more entertaining than I initially gave it credit for. Knowing that the ending is a disappointment, I don't hate the movie for it anymore. In fact, I don't even think the end is as disappointing as it seemed.

Does it live up to the original? No. But few movies do, let alone sequels. Gets better and better with each passing view. The dialogue alone is worth repeat screenings.

Slick summer fun, with Will Smith clicking into witty bad-ass mode. Some elements of neo-noir at play within the murder mystery plotline, but at heart, this is a movie about beating the hell out of robots, and looking cool doing it. The movie has a crisp sheen to it, and its vision of the future is interesting. Moynahan is terrible, but the only weak link in the cast.

I keep waiting for Proyas to rock me with another Dark City, but I suppose it's better this than nothing. It's good fun, but could have been better.

Two Toronto-dwelling downtrodden losers feel the world closing in on them and wish it would all go away. To their surprise, it does. Their home is now the only thing in existence, floating in a bouncy white void. Hence, nothing.

Dave: The nothingness looks, feels and bounces like tofu... which ironically, tastes like nothing.

I really enjoyed the concept of the film and the script is very funny. ...in parts. Other times seem to really drag on and on -- there's literally nothing but these two characters and this house, and it feels like the movie spins its wheels to fill time here and there. Mostly though, it is chuckle-worthy. The mounting problems the characters face in the early-going that make them wish the world away are really quite hilarious -- Gordon Pinsent (of 2007's Away From Her) in particular has one short scene where he pretty much steals the film.

Overall the movie could have executed its concept a bit better, but as is it's still very visually clever, very original, and for the most part, very funny. Worth a look, for sure.

Well-acted and intriguing, but ultimately predictable. Banks and Close shine, but that's about it.

Great concept and a surprisingly solid lead performance from Kutcher, who proves he actually does have some range outside of the Kelso comfort zone. And yet, every wow moment is off-set by a clunky twist, some groanworthy developments or ridiculously brutal violence. The film still manages to be compelling enough, but it's not particularly good.

Schmaltzy garbage lies sold as truth, designed to make you cry. What's funny is, none of the dramatic moments in this "true life" drama ever actually happened. Like the wild success of A Million Little Pieces, shit like that pisses me off, and, to quote Peter Finch, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!" So many people shower this movie with glowing praise, but it's false! It's all false! Every last heartstring-pulling detail is completely fabricated! Why am I the only one who cares about this??

But I will say this for it: some of fantasy sequences flash a brilliant visual imagination that Foster would tap into for Stay. The pirate ship sequence in particular is a real beauty.

Too innocuous to be hated. The movie is EXACTLY what you think it is, but Grace and Bosworth bring enough charm to it to lift it just above similar films. It's hardly memorable, but it passes the time. In fact, the most interesting thing about this movie has almost nothing to do with the movie itself. It opened in theatres the same weekend as The Butterfly Effect, pitting Foreman head-to-head against Kelso. Kelso wins, by a nose.

Schumacher's direction and staging is so lavish as to be over-the-top, but the absurd decadence of it all is one of the film's better qualities. Its best quality is Rossum, a true talent with a beautiful voice and the looks to match. While the movie delivers an adequate visual experience, it's emotionally flat, so ultimately I can't really recommend it. I just couldn't connect with it. Still, as a chance to ogle Ms. Rossum, it's certainly watchable. There are a couple of great songs, too.

Entertaining and at times quite clever, the movie lacks the energy and imagination its story requires. It's always moving, but it all feels rather listless and unimportant. The finale, for example, promises us one of the biggest treasures ever assembled, and offers up a small, dimly-lit room with some gold in it. Yawn. It's a shame, too. In the hands of a better director, it could have been something cool.

Funny that fanboys were up in arms over the casting of Tom Jane ("Who?") as one of the printed page's toughest bad-asses -- he's the only redeemable piece of this clunky actioner. He brings the right level of menace and emotional gravitas to the part, to give the movie a leading man it could hang its hat on.

The problem is, the rest of the flick is collapsing all around him: Travolta shamelessly chews the scenery in one of the worst performances this side of Battlefield Earth, and the script's main problem is it can't decide what story it wants to tell. First-time writer/director Jonathan Hensleigh borrows mostly from Garth Ennis's Welcome Back, Frank, one of the best graphic novels I've ever read. A shame he had to bastardize it so brutally. Frank is not an origin story, nor is it the superficial kill-fest the movie makes it into. Pulling character after character after character from a number of the leather-clad anti-hero's most famed adventures, he just doesn't know when enough is enough, and we are shown scene after meaningless scene of Jane's Frank Castle going toe-to-toe with apparently deadly assassins we care little about. A knowing hand would have taken the time to craft a real story, saving any left-over favourites, be they characters or storylines, for future sequels. By shoving as much Punishy-goodness into one flick as he could, Hensleigh never gave himself the chance.

Big for girls. It's never quite as funny as it could be, but Jennifer Garner is just so darn cute in the lead. To say she shines in the part would undersell it -- she's damn near incandescent. Andy Serkis gives a rare non-digital performance, and is actually pretty good too. Still, it's nothing new and could have been done a lot better, but Garner nearly makes it worthwhile.

Funnier than the first one, but goes for the easy pop-culture laugh instead of crafting its own comedy through characters or situations -- really, it just lacks originality. Pixar flicks are timeless, classic. These will fade fast.

Passably entertaining, but weighted down by two massive problems: firstly, the "heist" is pure nonsense. The movie never really explains what the plan is, and does an incredibly sloppy job of pulling it off. Second, they take the most irritating character in the film, and make him the narrator for chrissake. It really would be better off without Leonardo Nam's character entirely. He's intolerable and the fact that he smokes pot leads to the inevitably stupid and preachy "Why are you ruining your life with marijuana?" scene.

Outside of that, it has a couple of good scenes, and makes an interesting comment on what it's like to be a student in this day and age. It's not great, but if it came on TV, I wouldn't change the channel.

Two stars, both for some positively stunning visual effects. Emmerich, the director of such "classics" as Independence Day and Godzilla, does what he does best: blows stuff up. More specifically, major American landmarks. The acting is fairly atrocious (strange too, as the cast are mostly all quite talented), but there are a few intentional laughs to be found (for unintentional laughs, listen to what the flick tries to pass off as science). Not that any of that matters. Stuff blows up, and it blows up good. The effects are mostly all incredible.

There are only two effects shots in the movie that don't fit in with the rest: the wolves, and an apache helicopter that freezes in mid-air. These would look laughable in a PS2 game. ...Guess they just ran out of money.

It's too harmless for me to outright hate it, but it's also a fairly laughless endeavor that got way overhyped. In fact I think I only got one good laugh out of the whole picture (Uncle Rico throwing a steak), though there's a warmth to its stupidity that's somewhat endearing. By about halfway through I was just waiting for it to end.

One star for the art direction and production values, and another half star for Carrey's performance, which essentially is the movie. But that's it, nothing else to see here. It sets up questions and doesn't answer them. It's completely episodic, and is capped off by a rather boring climax. Plainly, it's just not good.

Depp is good (when *isn't* he though?). The movie itself? Not so much. The rest of it is unintentionally hysterical, with an inconcievably absurd and contrived cliche of an ending. "Yoostolemahstoreh."

Part of the reason I detest this movie is because so many people seem to whole-heartedly embrace its utter mediocrity. How?? How is this so loved?? It's not funny, and the plot is ridiculously convoluted. The movie offers no real sense of the passage of time, which makes most of the relationship stuff make NO sense. Worse, it's so over-stuffed with "story" it offers more plot-points than all three Lord of the Rings. The lone bright spot (besides the eye candy): Timothy Olyphant, who is fantastic (as always) playing essentially the same character here as he did in Doug Lyman's far-superior Go.

A buddy of mine summed it up quite well. As the credits rolled, he turned to me and said, "Remember when that guy was a loser? That was like, two hours ago."

TBS plays this thing all the time, and I may be losing something to cable censorship and commercial breaks...but I doubt it. This is just a tacky, awful action flick, the kind of thing that went out of style in the 80s. A major step down for The Rock after scoring huge on The Rundown, though he and Knoxville nearly single-handedly make this watchable. Their chemistry is great, but that's all the movie has going for it. There's really nothing else of note here, it's laughable.

Law is mildly charming, the ladies are lovely, and there are a few moments where the movie shows an interesting visual style, but...Christ. The movie is so hollow, so plotless, so...unlikeable. And then it ends. I saw this with three girls, and even feeling like a P.I.M.P. for the night didn't even make it worth watching.

Really painful in the way only Brett Ratner movies can be. A waste of time for all involved, which is a shame, because there are some very talented people going to waste here. Salma is easy on the eyes, and Ratner gives her plenty of skimpy outfits to run around in, but there's not much else to commend here. Harrelson's role is just embarrassing.

Atrocious. David Goyer, who wrote the last two Blades, steps behind the camera on this one and the result is a disaster of a film that craps on the legacy of the first two. Goyer's fight sequences are full of jarring jump cuts, and his story is laughable. Just how bad is it? Well, Wesley Snipes sued the studio for making him be in it, that's how bad. Parker Posey, what are you doing here.

They got a good cast together to make this film, but it's all for naught. The actors are mostly naturally charming, including Foster, who has good screen-presence even if her career, like this film, never went anywhere. I typically like Leonard adaptations, as it's hard to screw up his dialog, but this one just comes off flat. A dull and forgettable viewing experience.

More of the same crap from DreamWorks Animation, right down to ripping off Pixar by making that other computer animated movie about talking fish. As if Antz wasn't coincidental enough. This one has a few clever touches, but overall it's just annoying. And I really really loathe how they pattern the characters to look like the actors voicing them. Ever wondered what Will Smith and Angelina Jolie would look like as fish? ... Yeah, me neither.

What a wretched turd. I was not at all tired when I sat down to watch this movie. During the show I almost fell asleep four times. There are few movies I will talk customers out of renting at work. This is one of them. Half a star for some decent visuals, but skip this and rent the Kingdom of Heaven Director's Cut instead.

Bill Murray is the perfect choice to voice Garfield's thoughts. Unfortunately, that's the only thing this movie gets right, and the rest is just brutal -- the human casting especially.

Completely hilarious, for all the wrong reasons. Coolidge is the only cast member with half a clue, and most of the dialogue is so mind-numblingly horrific you can't help but laugh.

Terry Crews is funny, as per usual. Everything else? Oh gawd. Words...failing me. I had nightmares about this film, and not just because it is utterly terrible, but because the Wayans in their white girl suits is actually a horrific sight to behold -- enough to induce vomiting. I one day hope to block this from my mind.

There are just so many things hilariously wrong with this movie that I don't think there could be a Flixster photo more wonkily appropriate than what they've put here: a picture someone took of their DVD copy. Whose idea was it to give the F-list celebrities from B2K their own movie? (and if you're like me, you just read the name B2K and had no idea what I was talking about). Anyways, apart from the fact that Omarion is probably one of the worst actors of all time, this script is ridiculous, though unintentionally hilarious. My favourite moment has to be in the middle of heated discussion taking place in a hospital where "El" turns to his own sister and shouts "Yo get on outta here gurrl, and quitactin'likeaho!" (one-word spacing intentional).

I hate to imagine a reality where hundreds of kids stand eagerly in a large mob, screaming wildly for stupid black kids from awful "R&B" groups to drop inconceivably gay dance moves in a Zoolander-like dance-off. I have an even tougher time believing in a world where a movie that stoops to this level of stinkocity develops a massive cult following. These are the type of thoughts that lead quickly to me becoming a strong supporter of the genocide concept.

Did you spend money on this "movie"? If so, consider yourself "served".