2005: The Year in Review

Brilliantly acted and perfectly executed. 'Crash' wishes it was this movie.

A fabulous film completely deserving of its Best Picture nomination. Spielberg cuts the bullshit from his style and gets right down to business -- it seems almost impossible to consider that this came out in the same year as War of the Worlds, which seemed to exemplify everything that was wrong with the typical Spielberg flick. There is a certain visual style at play here, with good use of key European landmarks as background dressing, and tight panning close-ups on to characters' faces that echoes another great Steven S. -- Soderberg. It also retains the bleakness of Minority Report, and for once opts out of a cop-out feel-good ending. "There's no peace at the end of this," says Avner (Bana, who is excellent). "No matter what you believe, you know this is true." And for once, he's right. Spielberg shows the moral consequences of vengeance, and how violence begets violence. It isn't critical of the Israelis or the Palestinians or Bush or anyone.

He says the film stands to show that in times of tragedy, there must be action, and we must be wary that our actions create the changes we desired. I doubt he really believes this, he knows it's impossible. The film speaks for itself: that any action will only make things worse. The film is at its best when it leaves the guns in its holsters, and dialogues out its problems. The stairway debate between Avner and Ali, a PLO agent who doesn't know Avner's real identity, asks the question: What does Israel really mean? It's a wonderful scene, and telling that only under false pretenses are both men able to speak freely. Perhaps the action Spielberg suggests in speaking on the film is diplomatic. How subversive.

Just one final note: Many complain that a final sex scene puts a taint on the film's message -- these people simply don't "get it". Vengeance ruined Avner for everything. Every aspect of his psyche has been damaged, and by extension, his life has been destroyed. All he has left is vengeance -- the haunting effects of the acts themselves, and the ever-looming worry of reciprocity. He is a shell of the lover, father, husband he once was. He is a shadow of the man he used to be. These are the consequences.

Finally, the Dark Knight done right. Bale is pitch-perfect in a three-part role (the real Bruce Wayne, the "smile-for-the-cameras" Bruce Wayne, and the intimidation game that is Batman) in the first Batman film to ever give the character something to bite into. Burton and Schumacher's films were always all about the villains; Bruce Wayne was just an after-thought. Not so here. Sure there are more villains here than even Batman & Robin, but the movie's not about them. We learn enough for them to be a credible threat to Bruce and move on. The cast is all excellent, though Holmes sticks out like a sore thumb. The best origin story ever told, and one of the better comic book flicks of all time.

This could be the start of a beautiful franchise.

Incredibly clever and fully self-aware of the fact that, yes, it is a movie, 'Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang' delivered one of the best times I've had watching a movie in years. Part pop-culture commentary, part detective film noir, and all Shane "Lethal Weapon" Black-brand buddy-humour, I flat out LOVED this movie.

It's wildly inventive and wickedly clever. In an era where every actioner is a comic book, remake or old TV show...what more could you ask for?

In theatres, it was among the best movies I'd ever seen. On the small screen, it doesn't pack quite the same punch, but that doesn't make it anything less than extraordinary. His follow-up to the 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy, Peter Jackson's labour of love isn't trying to re-invent a classic, it merely looks to improve it. It succeeds admirably. A sweeping epic with something for everyone, the movie touches, thrills, terrifies. Terrific.

In a time when so many movies just exist, Match Point dared to make me actually feel something. Of course, that something was disgust, tension, unease. But it *got* to me. During the entire final act, I just wanted to throw up and have the movie be over. And that is the highest compliment I could ever pay it.

There are a few moments towards the beginning where the movie seems "a bit too out there", but it quickly finds its feet and truly soars. Hutz is hilarious as one of the best movie characters in recent years, and Liev Schreiber's direction is spot-on.

It strikes a fine balance between inspired hilarity and moving tragedy, like only the best do. An under-appreciated gem, and one of the most over-looked films of 2005.

Slower than a GMC Geo driving through a tar-pit with molases for fuel. That said, it's also one of the most exquisitely beautiful films ever made. Mallick has no interest in pushing a political message through the film, and some of the "preachy" lines in the trailer aren't even in the final film. In fact, there's little dialogue here at all. Much of the exposition is done through narration -- diary entries read aloud. One might think a viewer would cling to this sort of exposition, as the film is slow and spoken word is otherwise quite sparse, but I didn't much care for it. Not that it was bad, I just tuned out a lot of it, finding the sheer emotion of the performances spoke volumes themselves.

And the acting does do just that. I am hesitant to accept Farrell as a leading man -- though he is certainly a talented character actor, as evidenced in films like Minority Report, or even Daredevil, he just doesn't do it for me as a protagonist. Perhaps it's because John Smith is a deeply flawed man, an atypical lead, but I thought Farrell was absolutely fantastic for most all of the film. Newcomer Q'Orianka Kilcher is also rather impressive, and after a number of films where he pushes himself to extreme after extreme, it was refreshing to see Christian Bale in such a subdued role. His performance was so nuanced and understated that, even in such a small supporting role, I thought he damned near stole the picture away from its leads.

It is slow though, and I imagine much of the Flixster crowd will not enjoy it. But this is such a rich experience, that says so much about so many things. And it's gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. One of 2005's best films.

As a debut feature, Tommy Lee Jones's first turn behind the director's chair is a gritty and touching surprise. Sure it's a bit slow, but what western isn't? This is a movie that grows on you more and more retrospectively, and its landscapes are breathtakingly beautiful. Forget 'Brokeback', this was THE cowboy flick of 2005.

Powerful pieces of acting from most everyone in the cast, though I have to think it was a somewhat awful year for film when this and Crash were battling for top honours when it was all said and done. Clearly this is much better (my contempt for Trash is well-documented), and I don't mean that as a dig at the film: it is quite good. It's just not great.

Lee's direction really turns the movie into something special -- I read on IMDb that Joel Schumacher had considered making the movie, and can only shudder to think at what he would have pumped out. The acting, the pacing, the score -- everything is delightfully understated. The movie isn't afraid to give us long one-shots that hang on the Alberta landscape, as one of the two boys hangs their head introspectively. It's better for it, as Ledger and Gyllenhaal use the time to really plumb the depths of their characters, and make their fates all the more dramatic. I particularly enjoy the plucky score, which, much like the film itself, stresses the "less is more" philosophy, by proving orchestras are over-rated: there's a lot one can do with but a single guitar.

I liked it well enough, but it seems like a movie I will have to see multiple times to truly appreciate.

Funny story though: I went to see it in the theatre with a buddy and we played it up as a gay date on the way in, subtly brushing hands in the popcorn, etc, just for laughs. The movie is moving rather slowly through the first hour, but it's starting to pick up finally. We're really moving somewwwwwwwwhheeeerreee...

Projection bulb goes out and I haven't been so pissed in a while.

Pretty solid flick, that at times feels too pared-down and short. Clooney's direction is sharp -- I admire the Altman-like way he lets dialog over-lap, and the black and white photography is refreshingly different. There has to be more to this story though, it feels like it's over just as soon as its begun. I expected an all-out verbal war, and was left with a couple speeches and that's that. Still, it's stylish and packs a good message. I just would've liked more.

You have to go into this with the right mind-set, but it's a great movie. A lot of customers at work complained, saying the film lacked Saving Private Ryan-esque action sequences, but this is not that kind of movie, and the first Gulf War was not that kind of war. Nothing happens. ...and that's the point. It's often a visually stunning film, and Peter Sarsgaard continues to establish himself as one of the best working actors in Hollywood.

Bloom sheds his elfish man-boy persona and is believable as a warrior. He could make quite a leading man if he turned in work like this more often.

As for the movie itself? File it away as another class example of FOX's pure stupidity (as if canning Arrested Development wasn't damning enough). The studio's theatrical cut is palpable, but difficult to get into, and lacking a certain je-ne-sais-quoi. The recent Director's Cut DVD? Epic. Brilliant. Four stars as an average of the two.

Its plot is extremely convoluted and hard to follow, but this movie is a gauranteed good time whether you "get it" or not. Craig channels Steve McQueen and is all kinds of cool. This movie is the reason he's the new James Bond.

The type of movie that you'll either loathe for being odd and pointless, or adore for being quirky and different. Personally, I liked it a lot, though the incessant product placements became a bit grating. I suppose one must pay the bills somehow when making an independent movie with big studio talent.

By far the greatest visual recreation of life in The Depression ever to grace the silver screen -- ironic, that it would cost so much to make everything look so poor. The performances are all good, and the movie's exciting and inspiring, but... it's all kind of "been there, done that", especially with boxing. These kinds of stories can only be stretched so far.

In an era where the Ferrell/Vaughn/Wilson/Stiller Frat Pack are regarded as the all-but-crowned kings of comedy, I find it refreshing to watch "maturely juvenile" laugh-fest that actually cares about a) the fate of its characters, and b) emotional honesty. Ferrell movies especially are built around the pure absurdity of their concepts, characters and cameos, and will say or do anything for a laugh. This is different, and it makes for a real surprise of a movie, and one of the better comedies of recent memory. Is Steven Carell the most gifted comic actor in the business today? Yes. Yes I think so.

Side-note: Elizabeth Banks, I'm actually in love with you.

Jumanji in space, but oh-so much more than that. 'Elf' showed some promise, but Favreau really delivers the goods here, making a space movie with as few digital effects as possible. Lots of models, lots of costumes -- the practical effects and art direction lend the movie a heart, a soul. It feels like a throw-back, when it could have very easily been a mindless kids adventure. Well-acted, well-made and whole lotta fun, I was surprised by how good it really was. If Favreau's on board for 'Iron Man', I can't wait.

Billy Ray Snapper: "Is the shit on?"
Rondo: "The shit is on."

I have never seen House of 1000 Corpses. Seems like relevant information to start with, as prior to the start of this film, I had no knowledge of these characters, and no exposure to Rob Zombie's film-making outside of his Werewolf Women of the SS trailer that played during Grindhouse's intermission segment. Watching The Devil's Rejects, it's easy to see why he was invited to make the trailer. This movie is sick and disturbing and brutally violent, but Zombie coats it all with such style and subversive humour that somehow, it works -- it works bloody well.

The movie starts with text-cards to fill in the relevant details of the original, updating newcomers such as myself as to the who's, what's, where's and when's of the story (never ask why). The Firefly family are (to put it lightly) serial rapists and murderers, and after years of bloody mayhem, the law has finally come calling, led by Sherriff John Quincy Wydell (William Forsythe). He brings the cavalry to Chez Firefly, the titular House of the original, and the site of countless murders. They march on the house guns a-blazin', and it's a pretty thrilling shootout that kicks off the movie on the right foot. Mama Firefly is caught in the raid, while her adult children Otis (Bill Mosely) and Baby (Zombie's smokin' hot wife, Sheri Moon) escape unscathed. They hit the road (after some effectively chilling grand theft auto), heading for the kind of motel even roaches would avoid. It's the rendez-vous spot to meet the family patriarch, Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig), and as good a place as any to kill some folk while they wait. Spaulding is a freaky-lookin' dude in clown make-up with teeth so bad, the first thing you notice about the guy isn't that he's in clown make-up.

Zombie has made a good movie here, full of winks and nods to horror movies of the past, but what makes Rejects special is the way it goes beyond the genre. Zombie's taking influences from a whole host of 70s genres here, with the structure and soundtrack of a road movie cased around the horrors of graphic serial murder. Even the final destination -- Charlie's, a whorehouse/safe-house run by an old friend -- seems like an homage to a 70s sequel: Empire Strikes Back (which was 1980, but close enough. Please tell me I'm not the only one who noticed this). It's rich with visual style and classic camera and editing tricks, and Zombie's dialog is actually surprisingly solid as well. Not all of it works (there's a bizarre scene revolving around the finer points of fucking a chicken that is just too weird), but there's enough real working wit to make up for it -- for example: upon discovering the family's names are all aliases pulled from the names of Groucho Marx characters, Wydell calls upon the help of a local film critic (whose mustache makes him a dead-ringer for Gene Shalit). "Elvis died three days earlier and stole all the headlines," he says of Groucho, with a sigh. Wydell responds by cocking his gun. "Son, if you ever say another derogatory word about Elvis Aron Presley in my presence again, I will kick the living shit out of you." Awesome. Toss in Danny Trejo and "Diamond" Dallas Page as a pair of guns for hire, and you've got a recipe for one ass-kicking good time.

The movie is obviously not for everyone, but if intense gore and profanity don't bug you (too much, anyway), then you'll probably enjoy yourself here.

Captain Spaulding: "Excuse me miss, I'm gonna have to be taking your car today. See, I have some top secret clown business that supersedes any plans that you might have for this here vehicle." (laughs)
Woman: "What's that about clown business?" (nervous laughter)
Captain Spaulding: (pause) "Do I stutter, bitch?"

Funny, but not as good as the hype makes it out to be. By itself, the script is just another rom-com date flick that drags waaaaaaaaay too long. What redeems it then? Vaughn. Vince Vaughn *is* this movie, and gives one of the greatest comedic performances of recent years. Wilson is the straight-man, and Walken's talents seem wasted: he isn't given much to work with, and seems to be playing a caricature of himself with what's there.

Will Ferrell shows up as a pinch-hitter, and I'll admit, he is funny. The problem is that the movie should have already ended by then.

I am indifferent towards the Farrellies. I dislike Drew Barrymore. I find baseball to be the most boring sport in the world, and most of the time, can't stand Jimmy Fallon. Logic dictates that I wouldn't even see this movie, let alone like it. But I did like it. Heck, I loved it. Because it's not about baseball, and it's not about the Red Sox. It's about what it means to be a fan, what it means to commit yourself to a sport. It's about the compromises required to make a relationship work.

That, I can relate to. Yes, shocking as it may seem, for once, I could relate to Jimmy Fallon. He was good here, in the way that John Cusack was good in 'High Fidelity'. They both embody the niche-marketed "everyman" that Nick Hornby writes so well, and you just can't picture anyone else in the role. And yes, Hornby's novel was about soccer, but who cares? 'Fidelity' was transplanted to Chicago from London and didn't miss a beat. Neither does this one.

I didn't want to like it. I don't even know why I wanted to watch it. But I'm glad I did.

Heartbreakingly hilarious. Jeff Daniels hands in a masterful performance as painful as it is funny: his arrogance knows no bounds. The movie plays like a more serious 'Royal Tenenbaums' -- not surprisingly, Wes Anderson is listed as a producer. Baumbach based the film on his own family, apparently. I'm sure his parents are less than thrilled.

Interesting and informative, but even for someone as interested in the material as I was, it tended to yammer on and on and on. I had to watch it in episodic increments to fully take it in. Would make an excellent educational film, if not for some totally unnecessary tit-shots in a strip club. I'm the last guy to complain about boobs in a movie, but they were totally out of place here, and that scene didn't fit the tone of the rest of it. Otherwise, good stuff.

Wasn't sure what to expect going into this one. I mean, sure it won the Oscar for Best Animated Film, but in a year with no Pixar releases, that distinction means very little. I was pleasantly surprised though, it's quite good. By no means is it a must-see film, but it's clever and inventive, and there's something about its claymation that seems much more alluring than Corpse Bride's: it's imperfect. There are several occasions where fingerprints are glaringly obvious, but who cares? It's man-made, and certainly a welcome relief from the recent string of soulless CGI cash-grabs from Dreamworks (Shark Tale, anyone?) and the Weinsteins (Hoodwinked indeed).

Entertaining and surprisingly fresh. There is an amateur feel to much of its style, and I mean that as a compliment: Shepard seems more interested in getting "the cool shot" than getting the best one, and stylistically, there's not a lot of regard for convention in this flick. The result is a slightly abstract experience with a whole lot of cool cinematography. Clearly this was a labour of love for all involved, and Brosnan and Kinnear turn in top-notch work.

Keep an eye on Shepard. A few more under the belt, and he could really refine himself into something great. He's already almost there.

Completely predictable and quite cliche, but I'll be damned if it's not entertaining. Bruce Campbell and a few of the Kids in the Hall make the most of a few brief appearances as "super-teachers", and the movie is just a campy good time. A guilty pleasure for sure, but a pleasure nonetheless.

Having read the book and thoroughly enjoyed it, I wasn't quite sure what to expect from a film adaptation. It reads like a series of jazz riff thoughts and observations, running rather low on actual plot -- it's the perfect read, but could it be filmable?

The result is a mixed bag. The wafer-thin plot doesn't help its chances as a film, but the adaptation holds true to the original's quirky and endearing sincerity. Schwartzman is a treat, and Danes is phenomonal. A nice little movie.

A movie that became a musical that became a movie again. Some things were lost in translation somewhere along the way, but no matter: others have been gained. The movie plays like one of the old-time movie-musicals - a rarity these days and a real treat. The songs are catchy and the performances are mostly hilarious, though Broderick initially seems desperate to channel Gene Wilder. Worth a look.

Justin Cobb (Pucci) can't stop sucking his thumb. He wants to have a problem: something about him he can fix, and bring about an instantaeneous change in his life. He wants to win the girl. He wants to move away to university. But he can't. He lacks the confidence and the grades, respectively. He wants to "overcome", and when his behavioral pattern matches some of the broad descriptors of ADD, ritalin gives him an out.

...and that's about it. There's not a lot of plot to be found. But there are plenty of characters: Justin's zen buddhist orthodontist (Reeves); his mother (Swinton), who needs the approval of a B-grade TV star (Bratt) to redeem her otherwise ordinary life. Even Vince Vaughn turns in a refreshingly serious performance as the teacher-coach of the school debate team.

And what a well-acted film they come together to create. Most memorable is D'Onofrio, who takes a somewhat cliched character-type (the stock "dad who just doesn't understand") and creates a complex and interesting character. Here is a man driven by winning, who constantly comes up second-best: A football star in junior, he was expected to go pro and make it, but a knee injury delegated him to life as the manager of a sporting goods store. He and Swinton steal the show together, but really, everyone is quite good. Yes, even Reeves.

Far and away Michael Bay's best work (not that that says much), I've seen it three times now and it never ceases to thrill and entertain. I have an awful hard time believing this flick tanked at box office last summer, while 'Fantastic Four' cleaned house. Yes it's derivative and sure, the trailers spoiled the movie's "surprise", but that doesn't mean it wasn't a kick-ass good time.

Writer-director Mike Binder (TV's 'Mind of the Married Man') returns to the big screen with the story of two broken people who come together to...well...get drunk, among other things. Allen is wonderful (between this, Yes and Off the Map, it's a wonder she didn't get any recognition last year) and Costner makes a nice return to form in the kind of role he should, and only he could, be playing. A darkly funny and ultimately tragic film.

Very similar to 'National Treasure', but a lot more fun. I was suprised, I didn't expect to like this movie at all. Good music, too.

The ending is something of an anti-climax, and in parts terrible, but everything else is tremendously entertaining. I wanted to hate Cruise going into this movie, but you just can't, he's simply too good.

It was rumoured at the time of release that this was the most expensive movie of all time. I don't know about that, but it certainly could be true. It's technically stunning: there is a LOT of money on display, and it buys a number of cool visuals. Just lower your expectations of what a Spielberg/Cruise flick should be (considering how outstanding Minority Report is) and you're bound to have a good time.

I had more fun watching this movie than I'd care to admit. The plot is empty: it wants to be True Lies, but it isn't as good -- mostly because True Lies is True Lies, and we've seen it before. But Liman, who showed a deft hand at crafting superb action sequences in The Bourne Identity, lets loose a solid summer pop-corner that's all brawn and no brain, but totally and completely watchable. Most of the action is bafflingly unrealistic, but who cares. Like the leads, its slick and it looks cool.

The script is often quite clever, and its just a "good-time movie" in general. But that's all: pure spectacle entertainment. Nothing more, nothing less.

I really liked the movie when it was moving, the dialogue was good, and all the performances are great (Jeffrey Wright especially), but this feels like a 45min flick stretched out to feature length by long shots of Bill Murray driving a Taurus. I mean, if I'm gonna have to watch an actor drive a car, Bill Murray is a solid choice, but why would I ever want to watch that?

A modestly entertaining political thriller, most notable for being the first film to ever be allowed to film inside United Nations HQ. Solid performances from Penn, Kidman and Keener, but a thriller must be considered heavily flawed when its tensest moment (the "bus scene") comes in the middle of the movie.

Amy Adams is BRILLIANT, but one stellar performance does not a great film make.

A seriously flawed film sprinkled with many a brilliant moment. Bloom gives a passable performance, and Dunst is the perfect girl. The soundtrack is killer.

More about the journey than the destination. The plot is iffy and the pay-off is questionable, but hot-damn this is one cool looking flick. Marc Foster (Monster's Ball, Finding Neverland) leaves the schmaltz on the shelf and creates a brilliant piece of atmosphere. One of the most deftly edited movie I've seen. Now, if only it had a story...

Well-acted and intriguing, but ultimately predictable. Banks and Close shine, but that's about it.

Hilarious. Sure it meanders a bit and the laughs aren't always there, but when it hits, it hits hard. Essentially a "concert film", the movie works when it leaves Silverman alone onstage with her material, and her songs (performed by her band, Sarah and the Silvermen). What doesn't work are the interspersed "short film" vignettes (even though one of them stars the usually-funny Bob Odenkirk), that serve only to stretch the movie to feature length. Perhaps there just wasn't enough material to let it stand by itself, however: even with the vignettes, the movie barely runs 70mins. Still, its funny enough to be worth recommending. Just be warned, this IS shock comedy: 70 minutes of gay, racist, holocaust, 9/11, AIDS jokes as delivered by a cute and precocious Jewish girl. But it's like Sarah says, "I don't care if you think I'm racist, so long as you think I'm thin."

Sick of B-movies that take forever to get going? Apparently, so was Wes Craven, as this in-flight thriller hits the ground running. No lead-up, no slow build, the movie opens immediately on a terrorist cell putting their plot into action.

And for a time, the movie works. The first two-thirds are smart, tense and very entertaining, as Cillian Murphy's Jackson Rippner (get it?) blackmails Rachel McAdams' Lisa into helping him assassinate a high-level White House suit. The setting, and the way Craven weaves his camera through it, give the film its edge: the plane is claustrophobic and there's nowhere to run. In the air, it soars. Too bad the landing crashes and burns, as as soons as the plane touches down, Craven throws on the auto-pilot, and the qualities that made the film distinct are tossed out the window in favour of nonsense chase sequences we've seen a million times before.

Still, it's a short flick that, even towards the end, never out-stays its welcome. Add to that a pair of star-making performances from the young leads, and you've got yourself a decent summer movie. It just could have been a lot better, because for a while there, it was.

Marketed as a comedy, it really isn't funny. As a crime story, it's really quite predictable. Still, I liked how bleak and hopeless it was. As a Christmas story, it was about as refreshing as a blast of winter air to the nipples.

Upon hearing Heath Ledger's casting as The Joker in the next Batman flick, I immediately rented this movie to get a better idea of his dramatic range. While the movie was fun but nothing special (the ending sucks), Ledger is especially impressive. He was cocky, seethed a desperate, drunken slime and seemed to be channelling Val Kilmer. In fact, there were several moments where I was convinced he was Val Kilmer.

What does this have to do with Batman? What does Batman have to do with this movie? Nothing, I suppose. Just that my scepticism is gone. If Ledger is indeed the new Joker, what a fine clown prince he shall be.

A well-directed movie with a quality message and a stand-up Billy-Bob performance. Still, I can't shake the feeling that this was completely unnecessary. The original was lude, crude and shockingly honest. This late in the game, it's all been done.

Waiting... feels like Amateur Hour at a stand-up comedy club. You laugh, you feel slightly uncomfortable, you groan a few times, and then you laugh again. For a gross-out comedy, it's really something of a mixed-bag, but when it hits, it hits hard. The problem is that first-time writer-director McKittrick doesn't know when to kill a joke when it's run its course. The same tired routines that barely worked the first time keep getting drawn out further and further. There's definitely some potential here for a great movie, as each cast member gets their own scene to truly shine in. The problem is the script's complete lack of polish, which seems rushed into production before it really had a chance to find its direction.

A stupid good time and exactly what I was in the mood for. Ice Cube seems tailor-made for the role, like he could simply be himself and everything would be perfect. Almost impossibly, he comes off completely wooden. Tamahori's visual style is also terrible: his action sequences stink of obvious CG, and even when at rest the movie sheens like plastic. It's not all bad though, I did enjoy myself after all. Speedman does well in a liimited role -- it may take time for him to really break out, but he is a movie-star. The script, by Simon "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" Kinberg, is also surprisingly intelligent. It packs a smart message for a movie like this, and its dialogue was often much more clever than I was expecting.

It was fun to put on after having some drinks, but not a whole lot more than that.

Not a good sign when the opening credit sequence is the most imaginative and captivating part of the movie. The rest was average run of the mill schlock, running on borrowed ideas. It's 'Die Hard' meets 'Panic Room', with nary an original thought in its head.

Plays more as a series of spoofs than a real story. The result is a movie that is funny in parts, but generally lacking in any substance. What little story did exist I found to be an extremely disturbing parable about homosexuality. ...maybe that's just me.

Some great acting from Terrence Howard and Matt Dillon (please try and disregard Sandra Bullock's unintentionally hilarious performance) elevate the work from being truly terrible. But it is bad. What an awful, predictable, cliche-riddled film this is, that thinks it is being so daring by telling the world something everyone already knows: that racism is bad. I find it hard to accept a statement on racism, however, from a movie where every character is a stereotype.

The humour is insulting, but the car chases are awesome. Any time Scott is behind the wheel of the General Lee, the movie is exciting. Considering chase scenes take up half of the running time, that's not too bad, but there's just not enough here to make it really recommendable. The plot is weak and the acting is mostly "unfortunate" -- stunt casting really blew up in this movie's face, as Simpson is awful, Nelson looks clueless and and Burt Reynolds...well...the less said the better. Bruce McGill seems much more suited for the Boss Hogg role anyways. I'd ask why he's not in it, but it's because the movie sucks, that's why.

What a colossal disappointment. The comic smacks with cinematic potential, and this bullshit is the best they could do? Doom, one of the most bad-ass villains in any medium, inspired the creation of Darth freaking Vader. One would think he himself would be a perfect on-screen foe, but the writers here scrap his whole character in favour of some cliche Donald Trump wannabe crap. Bore-snore, been there before. Willem Dafoe did it better in Spider-Man.

What's worse, the movie doesn't even bother to give anything to do. The 4 get their powers and do what? Sit in the Baxter Building and wait for them to go away. Doom, meanwhile, is hell-bent on killing them. Don't ask why. He launches missiles and says things like "One down, three to go", "Two down, two to go", etc, etc. He finally captures Reed, only to bend his finger! That dastard! I wish I was making this up. Really, I do. The worst part? That it was wildly popular and fetched a sequel.

I guess I'm kind of glad I saw it though. It was fun to make fun of.

Jackson saves it from being completely unwatchable (what else is new?), but he can't stop the movie from sucking. Eugene Levy will make you want to kill yourself.

So hilariously bad that it could almost be good. But it's not, it doesn't even come close. There are a few moments that I find especially hilarious, the primary one you can see for yourself just by watching the trailer: it comes right after the robo-plane is struck by lightning -- the camera moves inside the plane's circuitry to get a close-up view of its "hyper-awakening" and you see it's double-helix DNA turn a wicked jet black. ... Yes, that's right. The plane...has DNA. .......

The trailer sold this as a Jamie Foxx star-vehicle, but it's Lucas's movie. Foxx peaces out after half an hour, flying straight into a mountain -- partly because he just slept with a Thai tranny-hooker, but mostly because he can't bear being in this movie any longer. There's a "great" scene where Biel's plane goes down and she ejects, floating to the ground in dead silence as she breathily describes everything that's going on around her on screen. It lasts close to five minutes and is totally hilarious.

It's an awful movie, really, truly terrible. We put it on at work sometimes as a joke, and it's fun to get drunk to.

A co-worker once put this movie on to play in the store. Long story short, they have since been fired.

On another note, that little girl is hideous. There's no way she came out of Heather Locklear.