Corny 80's Flicks & 90's

I loved this when I was a kid - WHO is the MASTER?? SHO-NUFF! Break dancing and Ghetto blasters! That little Ernie kid who had his own TV show for a time. Like 7 years old can do triple lindy roundhouse kicks...well its entertaining to me!

This may be the corniest movie of all time & the unintentional comedy is off the scale. This movie also stars two people who have renamed themselves with no surname like Madonna. So we have Tiamak & Vanity, have never seen this Tiamak (Bruce LeeRoy) since. Did see Vanity in Action Jackson (great corny film in its own right). Anyway, Bruce Leroy thinks he is the reincarnation of...Bruce Lee. He is searching for the master that will help him reach Master status in his own right and obtain the GLOW. If you obtain the GLOW, you are a master of your body and sparks fly off your ass. His antagonist is Sho' Nuff, a badass Ghetto KungFu master with a huge greasy Fro known as (he also has a serious inferiority complex that compels him to ask his lackeys redundant questions of which the only response is his name)...well, The Shogun of Harlem. He & his gang wander around Harlem in Asian style gear combined with shoulder pads and bling, Doing what all bad gangs do, beat up on Pizza shop owners and hang out on corners with Ghetto Blasters searching for other people on which to test their kung fu. Still has some decent fighting scenes and is funny. Who is the Master? Who is the baddest mofo lowdown around this town?

Tanya Roberts in that little bikini outfit! Continuing my review of 80's movies I thought were fantastic when I was a kid. Now I watch it, and I still like it, but the level of campyness (new word?) is much higher than I remember. Still, it is an enjoyable movie and the best part is still the interaction with the beastmaster's animal companions. The animals are well trained and are used well in the movie. The creature special effects were good for 80's Sword and Sorcery movies, at least as good as Conan with a decent storyline. The inclusion of the creepy batwing people that suck the juice out of you was one of my favorite parts. Rip Torn rounds out the cast as the evil wizard bad guy.

Two words. "Disco Express."
Ford Fairlane: Disco Express? They blew dog. And that lead singer, he kinda looked like...
Lt. Amos: Like ME, right?
Ford Fairlane: Yeah. I was gonna say he looked like shit, but... he looked like you.

Give me my two dollars...

Jim Carrey's breakout film. Dorky vampire movie i loved back when I was 12 when I was always searching Skinemax for the next showing of partial nudity...Jim doesn't have all the goofy overacting facial expressions but still a decent movie if you are in the mood for something very much not serious

OLD SCHOOL - loved this when I was a kid. I think mainly because they flashed boobs several times - HEATHER THOMAS flashes a couple of times

Since Peachy Leetz is getting the Sex Drive movie, I think I will get this baby on Netflix since it is basically a remake with a more revealing title of course. As I remember it (it was the 80's) John Cusack is a college student and a Virgin *gasp* Somehow he finds out some hot chick across the country is a "sure thing" and will give it up for him. (Makes me wonder about the gullibility of all the people on this site...hmm) Anyway, Next thing you know John is hitching rides across the country and as I remember it is funny and has a flash or two of breastsssseess. I have a feeling this is the better of the two movies.

This stuff is still funny.

Now these are the type of Tom Hanks movies I love to watch! Since he has gotten old and Oscar worthy, he doesn't make movies I want to watch more than once. His 80's flicks I can pick up on cable at 3am and watch all the way through. This movie contains (in no particular order): Drug sniffing Donkey show performer (actual donkey), prostitutes, booby bars, drug use (human), guys dressing up as women (for you Peach), Nick the Dick, smart ass punchliines, and Tawny Kitaen (Whitesnakes favorite car ornament). Good times...

I loved this movie! Of course I was 13 at the time

Another great 80's movie, this one however, is still really funny. Just seeing that tool Bill Paxston turned into a flyeating Jabba the Hutlike creature is worth watching the DVD again. Anthony Michael Hall did the geek role perfectly again. Robert Downey Junior makes an appearance in another of his two bit supporting roles, and Kelly Lebrock looks pretty damn good even with the huge 80's hair.

I have a couple of unmarried friends that stilll spend a lot of time in the bathroom combing their hair.

I thought this movie was hilarious and the perfect role for Jim Carrey. Playing the over the top Mask character brings Carrey's overacting and great physical comedy to bear, he also sings and dances in this one! Cartoon like stunts, references to old cartoons, and superior overacting skills makes this movie great for 13 year olds everywhere! Maybe Thats why I like it so much.

Holy crap, I forgot there was a Teen Wolf cartoon I used to watch every Saturday morning. Everyone knows this movie. OK next time it is on cable, watch the game at the end...you know the no wolf game for the championship? Where you see just exactly how uncoordinated old Mike J. is...watch #45. He must score 40 pts or more. Even the fat kid gets some. Ok, I have seen the movie a few times...just an interesting tidbit for the rest of you movie dorks out there.

BOOTY TRAPS!, THATS WHAT I SAID! As the result of watching this movie 4-5 times at the theater when I was 11 when someone says Booby Traps, I HAVE to come back with Booty traps! That's what I said! (Data Jones aka Short Round) The iconic lines that I still use as a 33 year old kid such as HEY YOU GUYS!, Baby Ruth?, Rocky Road! &the goofy Sloth laugh. Chester Copperpot, Chester Copperpot! SlickShoes! Jaws of Death! $50 dollar bill (Again Data's chinese accent) ! But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

Yep I memorized that line when I was 11. This was also the time I think I realized I really like cheerleader outfits.

Another 80's movie I thought was great when I was 12. The hormones were really flowing back then and Maria Conchita Alonso was hot. I have just put this on Netflix. Lets see how 22 years have affected my feelings for this thing.

Its the Virgin Connie Swayle...Duh Da Dun!
One of the favorite comedies from the 80's with Dan Akroyd and Hanks as good cop/bad cop. A ton of corny/funny lines. Need to check this out again.
Thank God it's Friday!

Are you kidding me! Best cartoon of all time...when I was a kid.
This began it all boys and girls. The vocal talents on this are amazing...well except Judd Nelson, but he was still high on the Breakfast Club fame. This cartoon was made back when they still had to draw the frames. This cartoon movie was unusual because there was a little swearing in it and they actually killed off several autobots. Has a more serious tone and less of a cartoon feel, again voice acting is terrific. Still up there on my favorites. the sound track is still decent and even incorporates Wierd Al in there! Vocal talants of Orson Wells, Spock, Eric Idle, and Rober Stack. Also has the same guy doing Optimus Prime as from the live action movie. Can't recommend this movie enough.

Only a man with a narrow ass can fit down this hallway!

Come on Brandon Lee! Who agrees to a line like "YOu have the biggest penis I have ever seen on a man"? Nobody!
You can see how he wants to laugh and Dolph is kind of uncomfortable as he says it. I liked the movie besides that...well I was like 15 and was watching anything to do with Bruce Lee or kung fu in general. Corney lines but decent action. Tia Carrere gets fairly naked in this one. Still an enjoyable flick to watch.

Here is a movie that made my Corny movie of the 80's list!

Super Cheesy animatronics represent a family of brontosaurus found in the deep African jungle. A married couple stumble upon them and want to keep them safe from some jackholes who want to capture them and exploit the poor animals and the St. Bernard size BABY Bronto.

Cutesy and Corney - it was the 80's what do you expect?

Keanu Reeves in a role where he doesn't speak much, and has his face covered with a mask most of the movie...perfect role! Kind of a Bromance hockey movie between Swayze and Rob Lowe, including locker room scenes of the guys smacking each other in the ass with towels and skipping around wearing jock straps, wacking each other (with sticks), and just general gay grab ass. (Peach and the chickies favorite part)

Seriously though, it is actually a pretty good flick. Swayze teaches Rob Lowe how not to be such a scrawny wuss/pretty boy and stick up for himself against the league bully. Couple of twists and turns, and some decent hockey scenes. It's not Miracle or, Mystery, Alaska. But it is still pretty good.

Great Movie! Richard Pryor is perfect in this role as a spoiled rich kids toy. Getting paid big bucks to basically do what ever this little punk rich white boy son of Jackie Gleason tells him to. This kid runs him through the gambit until Pryor starts to get fed up and teaches the kid a thing or two about life and how to treat people. I loved this as a kid, need to check it out again soon to see how it has held up in the 25 years since I last watched it.

Watched this again for the first time in maybe 17 years and it reminded me again of why it was one of my favorite movies as a kid. It holds up well and still entertains much more than many of the Hollywood Lacklusters out this summer.

Friends came in during the movie and damn near in chorus screamed "Sweep the Leg, Johnny" and proceeded to sit down and make comments all the way through. Such a great movie. I think Peach has been trying for years to get the Wax Off move perfected.

Besides all that, this movie actually has great life lessons: Anything worthwhile is not easy and never comes free, Life isn't always fair. Oh, and never take on 5 guys who know karate at one time...unless you have a midget Okinawan handy man to back you up!

Speaking of Peach, he now is temporarily jobless and moved onto my couch. SO be prepared for reviews on some increasingly stupid movies as he Netflixed the entire National Lampoon sries...and I am not talking about the Vacations. Check my list Peach's Big pile o' Crap Recommendations for other crap NOT to watch.