FRIGHT FEST 2006

After proving his talent as a musician, Rob Zombie has now shown the world what a gifted film-maker he is. While the influence from "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is undeniable, Zombie's colorful touches secure the movie's status as a very original little gem that deftly interweaves carnivalesque and gruesome sights. All in all, this is a delightful freak-o-rama!

As a personal note, I would like to add that Captain Spaulding has now become my new hero! When I get older, I want to be just like him!!! As a matter of fact, I think I will stop brushing my teeth as of today... So I guess that's already a step in the right direction! :P

Every time I see this movie, I get so excited that my head spins 360 degrees, causing me to spew out jets of green vomit! Believe me: not many movies affect me this way!

Freddy Krueger is a wonderful role-model for all of us homicidal maniacs... He's my hero!!!

"This is it, Jennifer! Your big break in TV! Welcome to prime-time, bitch!"
Wow! What can I say? This movie features some of Freddy's best kills! Nothing beats the scene where he smashes the girl's head into a TV set (see quote above).

"Ever play skin the cat?"

If you are into demon-possession and zombies oozing with green pus, this is the movie for you!
After being handed free tickets by a mysterious masked figure, a group of people gather in a newly-opened movie theater to attend the premiere of a horror film revolving around an ancient mask that has the power to turn people into blood-thirsty demons.
As the movie unfurls, a member of the audience starts undergoing strange transformations... Before you can blink, the theater is infested by demonic creatures, and the few survivors must do battle against the legions of Hell!
Will they survive? Or will they meet a very gruesome fate at the hands of Satan's spawns? Watch the film to find out!

After being exposed to strange radiations in outer space, an astronaut comes back to Earth and starts melting.
As his body loses its consistency, he must prey on human victims and devour their flesh in order to survive.
All in all, this is a very sweet movie that will literally make you melt inside! (Haha! What a GREAT pun! Sometimes, I just kill myself!!!)
*crickets chirp*

Once every decade comes along a film of such sheer intensity and power that it reaches the very depths of our souls... This movie is one of them! From the highly climactic scene where a woman screams in terror as a tomato rolls out of her kitchen sink, to the moment of Hitchcockian tension when an agent in disguise risks exposure by asking killer tomatoes for some ketchup, this brilliant chiller defines the word "classic".

"They're coming to get you, Barbara!"

This excellent follow-up to "Night of the Living Dead" could be viewed alternatively as a hardcore horror film or a one-joke movie.
Seen as the former, it provides the viewer with more than a copious amount of blood and guts (the scene towards the end where a bunch of bikers get disemboweled and eaten alive by ravenous zombies is a very good example of that.)
Seen as the latter, it is still oddly effective. Usually, one-joke movies tend to get dodgy after a while... But this one doesn't! While not a laugh-out-loud type of joke, there is no denying that it gets absolutely hilarious the more you think about it. Basically, this film shows that zombies only retain their most primal impulses, which include feeding on fresh meat and - believe or not - loitering in shopping malls! Now, if that doesn't crack you up, think about it some more, and you'll end up rolling on the floor just like I did the first time I watched this movie... And I swear that I wasn't on crack! :P

Picking up where "Night of the Living Dead" and "Dawn of the Dead" left off, this underrated sequel is intelligent horror at its best.
Basically, the plot goes as follows: the Earth is now overrun by flesh-eating zombies and the survivors must seek refuge underground. Ironically, the greatest threat to mankind proves to be man himself rather than the undead. In the claustrophobic atmosphere of a military base, tensions grow among a motley crew of soldiers and civilians. The former think that the zombies ought to be exterminated while, on the other hand, a prominent scientist insists that efforts must be made to domesticate and tame them. Some of his experiments bear fruit, but his unorthodox methods don't sit too well with the leader of the local military unit. Violent conflicts ensue, climaxing in a blood-curdling and gut-wrenching finale.
People are eviscerated, guts are spilled, limbs are severed... In sum, this film fully deserves its 5-star rating! Take my word for it!

A supernatural plot involving witchcraft, a series of bizarre and stylish murders, wonderful baroque sets and a KILLER soundtrack by Goblin... What more could I ask for? This movie is my idea of Heaven! It's bliss!!!

After enduring the horrible agonies inflicted on him in the first installment, Coffin Joe recovers from his injuries and sets out to pursue his quest for the perfect woman that will bear him the perfect son.
In the true fashion of a ladies' man, he abducts several nubile women and frightens them with spiders. Disappointed in their lack of courage, he then proceeds to lock them up in a room full of venomous snakes.
All hope is not lost, however, for Coffin Joe's love life. Despite his bad luck with women, he does not lose faith in the female gender and continues to look for a woman that will bring forth the superior race.
Oozing with misogyny and Nitzschean contempt for morals, this film is the perfect date movie. Keep an eye skinned for the very colorful scene set in hell - its originality and artistry remain to this date uparalleled.

"What's this? What's this??? There's color everywhere!"

*sings* "This is Halloween! This is Halloween! Pumpkins scream in the dead of the night!"

Whoops... Wrong movie!

In fact, there isn't any singing at all in this movie... There is, however, an awful lot of screaming, shrieking, panting and gasping! If that sounds like your idea of a fun, "Halloween" will not disappoint! MICHAEL MYERS DELIVERS!!! His bodycount in this movie may have been surpassed by other masked maniacs, his style may have been imitated by lesser copycats, but his stealth and cool imperturbable attitude will always make him THE ultimate master of his art!