Fuck Me Gently With a Chainsaw

Seriously, be honest. People who like this movie, you mean to tell me that you HONESTLY can make out ANYTHING on screen? Every shto lasts .2 seconds and it's nothing but shiny things flying around without a discernable shape at all. And the movie just lasts forever! I almost had grandchildren sitting there! I literally took three naps during the Egypt scenes alone. Rubbish. Complete boring stupid rubbish.... Oh, yeah, Rainn Wilson has a small role in this film. I think that was almost worth it.

Everytime Kate Hudson makes a movie, my love for Almost Famous dies a little...

"Who's on top and who's on bottom now, huh? WHO'S ON TOP AND WHO'S ON BOTTOM?" Favorite Parker Posey quote ever, from a deleted scene in Waiting for Guffman. Hilarious.

Ugh. Can't even start describing how bad it is, it doesn't even have a single moment that could barely pass for guilty pleassure. They take everything that made the Alien flms good (and possibly the Predator ones, never saw them) and just take a shit all over them. The worst part was the supposed 'character development', the whole film would have been better with just making them victims instead of making us not care about them for what felt an incredibly long time. Why have a cool hero like Ripley when you could have teens killing the monsters?

The fim is completely hilarious from start to finish... the only problem is that it isn't a comedy. By the way, who knew that ghosts made you menstruate?

Have you ever seen a small child say the word 'boobie' and giggle? This feels exactly like that.

I knew it would be bad-- scratch that, horrible, but not this much. Nothing is ever worth the time spent watching it. Not the special effects, not the horrible performances (what deaf person thought those accents were good?), not the story (legends ruined!) and not the costumes, which probably disappointed me the most. Wrong in every single aspect. No, wait, I liked the end credits; that's half a star right there.

A film like Norbit is not just bad because it had a bad concept and an even worse execution; no, for Norbit to exist every single person involved had to make sure they were giving an effort of 110% into making one of the most awful movies ever. Everyday, everyone would make sure to do the shittiest job imaginable because this abismal piece of crap can only be intentional. I liked how shiny everything looked, though.

I like Mandy Moore, she was amazing in Saved!, and of course I adore John Krasinski. It even has Grace Zabriskie in a supporting role! Though hardly an excellent, marvelous cast, it is a pretty good start and potential for something funny. Then, of course, we have Robin "comedy cancer" Williams. Fuck that bastard.

Urgh. Watchmen finally arrived this weekend and I'm watching this movie (after already watching today Battlefield Earth, which I'll pretend never existed, and a rerun of Cachun Cachun Ra Ra).