Might Not Get You Laid


  1. groaningbitch
  2. Veronique

it's joke, man. reasons listed here.

1. romance: baby coming out vagina in close-up, give me a break.

2. fight club: are you sure you could do like tyler durden, harsh enough to shudder the whole floor?

3. gia: do you want your girlfriend suspect you get horny for angelina?

4. the piano teacher: see a woman carve her cunt with a razor and enjoy smelling the tissue tainted with semen..come on..

5. the paino: who wouldn't be intimidated by the frontal groin of havey keital?

6. boogie nights: mark walhberg plays karate with his 13 inches dildo, what a appeitizer.

7. inside deep throat: sorta too obvious, don't you think so?

8. singapore sling: vomit sex....yuck!

9. about schmidt: do you think elder nicholson and kathy bates look steamy together in nudity? it ain't personal. pardon.

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  groaningbitch's Rating My Rating
1
Romance (1999,  R)
2
Fight Club (1999,  R)
3
Gia (1997,  R)
4
The Piano Teacher (La Pianiste) (2001,  R)
5
The Piano (1993,  R)
6
Boogie Nights (1997,  R)
Boogie Nights
"boogie nights" is mark walhberg's breakthru into the caliber of a actors, and it might be paul thomas anderson's best work by far as well as a good enclosure among the 90s. walhberg used to be the calvin klein model for underwear so the size of his private thing has been nicely anchored before,and his "marky marky" white rapper image is highly helpful for the audience to lead into the imaginary ground of dirk diggler.

walhberg palys eddie, an astray teenager who gets one special talent, his 13 inches phallis, then he gets spoted by the porn director, john horner(burt reynolds), so he re-incarnates into the legendary stud in porn cinema, dirk diggler. but the movie centers not merely on dirk but also the people around this pornography circle, such as roller girl (heather gramham) and the maternal porn actress(julianne moore) as well as various sub-cast like philip hoffman and don cheadle..etc. you may view these people frivolously wasted as social scums, but they do sincerely deem porn flicks as a form of cinema with sincere enthusiasm.

even in the degenerated role like that, mark walhberg does emite some lovable boyish innocence in this character, for example, dirk often inquires his co-woman-star's feelings in the sex scenes, for instance, he askes julianne moore in the firse scene of their intercourse, "where you want me to shoot? are you all right?" and she also shows some affectionate encouragements back in return. there's no misogynism in its female characters, and men do show some respect of equality to women even in a seemingly rotten bussiness like porn cinema. they consider lovemaking an exhibitionistic enjoyment, and they do care about the works they've done. and also, there's some strange ethics among this group of people, burt reynold's like a proper paternal figure, in the scene he kisses moore on the shoulder then remark "i stare at the foxiest bitch in the world". vice versa, julianne moore is the maternal figure who is a gentle nuturer while joanna gleason is the opposite as dirk's judgementally harsh mother who deems him as forever loser and dirk's father is a meek quiet man without opinions. and dirk's life is like an elongated adolescence while he's eternally obsessed with oriental kung-fu, various subcultural items and flashy roadsters. but i must say, walhberg really gets the poise and the moves!

the course of american dream would be the earnest naivete of its dreamers, and even sex workers also have their american dream in spite of the outrageous notoriety they receive from drug abuse and promiscuity. "boogie nights" has the capacity of humanity and pathos for its characters, but it also bares the price these people have to pay for such self-abandoned lifestyle. they're bittersweet tales of porn industry's idealistic narcissism and its sour mistreatment from social prejudices. it's like an obscene american dream awaken in the end with corrosive disillusion while walhberg demonstrates kung-fu to his 13 inches dildo.
7
Inside Deep Throat (2005,  NC-17)
8
Singapore sling: O anthropos pou agapise ena ptoma (1990,  Unrated)
9
About Schmidt (2002,  R)

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  1. McKittrick
    McKittrick posted 659 days ago

    The trouble with Dirk Diggler's weiner is just that! It looks like a big frankfurter! hehe
    I love Isabelle Huppert and she is astonishing in The Piano Teacher but I find it a horrible film to sit through.
    I'm with you on a nude Harvey Keital. It was only slightly more disturbing than seeing Kathy Bates and Jack Nicholson naked in About Schmidt!

  2. groaningbitch
    groaningbitch posted 557 days ago

    to william,

    good advice, "abour schmidt"! lol.

  3. DrPhibes
    DrPhibes posted 543 days ago

    This list isn't complete without Walerian Borowczyk's "The Beast" (a.k.a. "La Bete"). It contains some of the most intensely graphic scenes of bestiality I've ever seen on film, including a lengthy opening scene consisting of lingering shots of a stallion fucking a mare (complete with a money shot) and a surreal dream / flashback sequence involving a werewolf-like creature ejaculating gallons of semen all over a nubile young aristocrat. So... With that said, do you think "The Beast" qualifies for your list?