Movies I despise

This 2009 follow up to the Massive smash, minor critical hit is nothing short of dull, overly plotted, over crowed and most of all dumb. It tries to live up to the minor smarts the first film had, but it fails miserably becuase of it's over use of CGI and it's bad script and semi-interesting story. It fails to live up to the Transformers name or even the first film at that. All in all this film is a waste of 200 million dollar.




Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is nothing short of a good idea gone bad, Michael Bay tries and fails to bring up the value of the sequel to his adequate adaption of the popular kids show and toy line. But there are three main reasons that it failed. 1.) It's dull, overlong and it doesn't follow any strict set of rules or even a coherent plot for that matter. 2.) It's terrible and bland acting on most part of the cast brings down the high production values of this film. But to no avail they don't succeed very well. 3.) It's just a plain, old good car with bad parts. All in all this film could have been so much better.


Shia LaBeouf(Who was alright in the first but bad here.) Tries his best with the bad script and terrible direction on the part of Michael Bay. But he fails to bring any convincing emotion or even good jokes to his character. Megan Fox(who is amazing to look at.) is bad, her bland and inside the box performance is hard to watch sometimes you just want to look at her instead of hear her talk. John Turturro( A saving grace in this film.) Brings the good jokes and the good acting to this film and really makes it one reason to see it just for his time on screen. Josh Duhamel( Another ray of hope.) Does well in this and shows his stuff and makes this film easy to sit trough. But all in all the cast(most of them.) Does alright with there assigned parts and makes this a bad film instead of horrible.




Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is dumb fun, it uses flashy and stylish CGI rock'em sock'em robot fights, an alluring female lead and bad jokes to entertain. But it fails miserable in it's attempt to be good and plausible entertainment. It drags along for way too long and is very boring at times. But on the bright side it is great fun and a good thrill ride to enjoy. But nothing more. All in all it was a shallow attempt at making a franchise that has been around for more than 30 years and turns it into a bad film. All in all Revenge of the Fallen is an A-Bomb.

I love Transformers when I was a kid this big screen, CGI laden adaption of the popular toy line is is not bad, but then again it's not good either. It relies on too much CGI effects and loud noisy action sequence to be truly called a great adaption of the Transformers. But it is good none the less good fun but not movie greatness.




Transformers is passing entertainment that get's it's greatest kick from it's action sequences and that is what made this film a success, nobody has ever seen them in a live action adaption and it is fun to see there fight brought out of the animated world to the real world. But like I said it's fun not brilliant. This film had some intelligence but not enough to really sustain a true train of thought long enough to be called smart. Also the humor that Michael Bay(who was wrong to direct this movie.) Tries to bring to a film with such a serious storyline is just a minor distraction from the things going on in the film. But none the less this clanging metal meet's Human smack down is nothing short of cool, out of this world fun that is sure to blow any action fans mind. But the fans, preferably young kids 10-16, may not find this film so enjoyable as to the loose adaption of the series story. But all in all it was good fun.



Shia LaBeouf(Who I've seen do better.) Does alright here as one of the two humans to befriend the Autobots and help them in there fight against, he pulls out some nice jokes and some good moments. But his character ultimately comes out as annoying and at some times very childish. But he does alright here. Megan Fox(Who is nice to look at but has no real talent.) Is one of the main reasons that this film succeed due to the fact that she's something really good to look at, but as an actress she fails miserable to pull off the tough and somewhat smart female lead. Josh Duhamel( You may know him from NBC's Las Vegas.) is one of the few good acts he pulls off a very good and somewhat convincing as the Military Captain but his lack of film experience and bad direction on Michael Bay's part makes it hard for him to really bust loose to show his stuff. John Turturro(who was probably the best actor in the whole film.) does exceptional as the super top secret agent and his jokes are very funny and smart and actually have a point to them, he makes his character somewhat believable and cool to see on screen and that makes him a good act. But all in all the cast holds up somewhat nicely under the heavy CGI and bad jokes and over use of action to come out in second instead of first.


Transformers I know allot of non-fans and fans liked, my dad liked it as well which is all good. But I think this film could have been so much better than it was, I really think it could have elevated the fun to smart fun and make the bad jokes good jokes(there were so few good jokes.) This film Michael Bay really brought down with his flashy and sometimes overwhelming style of film making to make this an adequate film, not a good film or a great film, but an adequate one. It's over use of everything is sometimes tiring and it really make sit hard to sit trough becuase of it's attempt of using bad entertainment as a substitute for good. But all in all Transformers wasn't a complete and utter waste, it did have it's occasional moments of when it showed greatness and that is another contributor to it's success and it is also a reason to see this movie for those little moments. But none the less Transformers delivers a semi-smart and overly charged good time that is sure to please any action fan or moviegoer. All in all it delivers a good time, not a great time, but a good time

I've seen films like this before, many times before and let me tell you that there pretty much all the same they all have three main factors that make it very easy and very predictable at the same time.

1.Hot girls( which doesn't make it any better, but it does make it bearable.) horrendous acting, a throwaway blow your brains out script(I Mean that literally you'd want to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger.)

2. A very bland and extremely clique plot that you could easily figure out what was going to happen before it happens ( Think Final Destination and you've got yourself a winner.)

3. This concept has already been done, think,"I know what you did last summer." this film is it.. just with a different story and a different chain of events but it's the same present in a whole new package.



If you like bad acting, a clique plot and a rip-off story than this film is the movie to see. All in all avoid it and go see soemthing worth wild like "District9","Inglorious Bastards" or even "G.I. Joe: The rise of Cobra. This film delivers nothing new except a a bad spin on An old story. Sorority Row is an A-Bomb.

I'm a major fan of the original and I saw this one with medium hopes that Rob Zombie would give me soemthing worth seeing, but my first instinct about this movie sucking eggs was right. It was a bloody mess.



Halloween(or as I like to call it Suckloween.) was a disgrace to the franchise that practical invented the slasher genre. It was too dumb and far too bloody and messy to even try and comprehend the story of the psychotic Michael Myers( no not the Austin Powers guy.) But what it did have, and this is the only good thing, is a pretty good spin on Michael's beginning's not much of it was revealed in the original so that was the only positive thing I found about the whole film. But this movie was a let down none the less.



Tyler Mane an ex- wrestler turned horror star plays the maniac Myer's well(seeing as he doesn't have to say anything.) but his mannerisms are just like the original Michael and he is the only saving grace in this film. Scout Taylor-Compton (who is allot prettier than Jamie Lee Curtis.) Has no real acting talents at all and is just there to scream her head off when needed. Malcolm McDowell(who was the only true good act in this.) does very well as Dr. Sam Loomis but is not as hell bent on killing Michael as he was in the originals, instead here they turned Loomis into a kind hearted soul(which was a mistake.) Being someone who's watched all the Halloween movies Loomis is nothing liek his 2007 counter part and that is where again Rob Zombie fails. But Malcolm McDowell does very well in this movie and he holds up nicely against terrible acts. But all in in all the rest of the cast was terrible.





Halloween(2007) Is nothing short of a brutal, mindless, laughably bad mock up of a horror film that tries, and fails to capture the essence or even style of the original. But I will give it this. It does try very hard to be scary but to no avail.All in all Halloween is a A-Bomb.

Lately Hollywood has been trying to Monopolize on the success that Hasbro has created over the years. First in 2007 Michael Bay directed the adequate adaption of the ultra mega popular toy line and cartoon animated franchise Transformers, While his attempt was good it didn't quite make the cut as great as it could have been. Then in 2009 he made the horrible and audacious Transformers : Revenge of the Fallen which was shortly followed by Stephen Sommers G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra which in turn was no different than Revenge of the fallen except, that Rise of Cobra had terrible CGI bad plotting and a really terrible script, It's a film that is easily the worst of the year and it 's number two to Revenge of the fallen.


When I first saw the trailer G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra I instantly thought, "Wow this is going to be an awesome movie!", my expectations were high when I entered the movie theater to see it. But when the light's came back and the credits rolled the smile that was on my face quickly evaporated. Now Why do you ask did that happen? Well let me break it down for you. 1.) the plot , while interesting was shallow and was riddled with bullet holes. also it's story was nothing like that of the G.I. Joe animated series or comics and was way to fast paced and packed with wall to wall action that really brought down the value of the film and killed the story. 2.) The acting, while not as bad as it could have been was terrible and very shallow especially from the senior actors in the cast. 3.) Stephen Sommers(the director of The Mummy and The Mummy Returns.) crafts a poor script and mediocre direction, which is shocking for the man that created one of the greatest film of the 90's . But all in all this film tries very, very hard to be good and plausible entertainment but falls to short.




Dennis Quaid(Who has been failing lately to make good films.) Is alright in this but can't seen to elevate his character past being nothing more than a High School football coach. Channing Tatum(Who needs a new line of work.) Is terrible as Duke the leader of G.I. Joe he's too young to play the part and not very convincing as Duke. He doesn't have what it takes too be the character, but he does give it all he's got which, sadly is not much. Sienna Miller(who tries her best but is degraded to eye candy.) She is even less convincing as Baroness(I mean she didn't even have a Russian accent.) She has the look , the style and the sexiness to play the part. But she lacks the cruel nature of The Baroness and the cunning nature that made her a great character. Rachel Nichols(you may know her from P-2.) Is completely wrong for Scarlett. Again she's got the look the style and she's even got the sexiness down, but yet again she lacks the conviction and even the acting skills to play a tough smart women like Scarlett. Ray Park(Who is the saving grace in this film.) Ray Park does great as Snake Eyes and he is the only reason I went to see this movie in Theaters, seeing as he doesn't say a word he's one of the best of the cast. Joseph Gordon-Levitt(Who is the second class act in this.) He is great as the Doctor and does his very best in this and comes out on top. But none the less the cast tries there hardest and fails to elevate this film to greatness but it falls hard on bad direction and a poor script and acting.




G.I. Joe rise of Cobra is a high class action film with low class T.V. special effects and mediocre acting, it tries hard to be convincing and emotional at sometimes but it fails miserably. While Sommers had a great idea he couldn't quite get it off the ground and this film had the chance to have wings but it doesn't quite learn how to fly. But all in all it's a good popcorn flick, but nothing more beyond that, it is very entertaining at least but even that can't stop it from getting on your nerves from time to time. All in all a good attempt at making G.I. Joe a viable film franchise but sad to say it doesn't come even close. It's good to watch if your bored or have nothing else to see. But beyond that it's not worth going to see in theaters or buying for that matter. All in all G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra is an A- Bomb.

I've heard allot about this movie over the last few years people all over have been praising it as a mild stone in film making. Calling it a cult classic and one of the best action dramas ever put to film, well I'm sorry to say they were wrong. This movie was nothing like people advertised and boasted about, it was at times very hard to discern what was going on and who was killing who and what was really going on in the film.



The Boondock Saints boast a cool and hip visual style that resonates with the best action films of the 80's and early 90's and some of John Woo's japan work before he moved to America. But even that can't save this film from being highly overrated and contrived. TBS was great on the action and humor(what little it had if there wasn't a curse word in it.)It tires so very hard to be convincing, powerful, emotional and most of all smart but it can't under the dumb down dialogue and the poor execution of the film. The mediocre script and direction of Troy Duffy who I've never heard and for good reasons. You see Duffy tries to create a movie where two brothers who are devoted to each other and devoted to helping the little people think there doing God's work by killing all theses mob boss and criminals where in reality there actually psycho killers just mopping up the scum in south Boston. I like the style of the film and I liked the way it played out, but if Duffy had just thought it out more and put a more dramatic and emotional effect into the film, then maybe, just maybe, this film would have made my top ten list sadly it makes my top ten list of the worst films of the 90's. But none the less it had the heart, it had the spirit and it had the strength to be great and groundbreaking bu sadly it falls short due to bad plotting, on par acting, a terrible script and bad action sequences that don't really dazzle you or blow your mind.


Sean Patrick Flanery(Who I never hear of besides this movie.) Plays one of the Mac Manus brothers, he does pretty good here and does try hard to be convincing. But he fails under Duffy's bad script and poor direction and thus is kind of an eye sore with his bad Irish accent. Norman Reedus(Another actor I've never heard of outside this film.) Is areal downside in this with his bad acting he really brings down his character and makes it nothing more than a brainless thug who say a pray for the men they are about to kill. Billy Connolly(Who is alright for the few minutes he's actually in the movie.) is pretty good in this and is one of the higher class acts in the film, he brings some ruthless style and cunning to a very simple character and does well with his time on screen. Willem Dafoe(the saving grace in this film.) Is fantastic in it and is the only reason to see this film besides the slick, but highly under done, action sequences. He brings up the quality of this film and elevates it to from bad to alright. But again even he can't save this film from crumbling under it's own failure. But none the less the cast does there best with the material there given and tries there hardest to make this a great film, but sadly they can't.




The Boondock Saints is dark,violent and sacrilegious, that pretty much sums up the main focal point of this film plot and story and it tells you all you need to know about the film in general. It boast a hip, cool and vibrant style of film making and that can't save it from be a by the book action film with not so special action sequences. All in all The Boondock Saints is passing entertainment bu nothing more.

I first heard of "The Proposal" when the trailer aired in theaters last year. I thought this might be a touching and outrageously hilarious Romantic Comedy. But sadly what I got instead was a cliched, predictable, formula driven comedy less Romance film with little to no originality.



The Proposal tries it's best to hid it's failure to please and to plausible entertain but it can't. It's reliant on formula all the way though the story, It's so reliant that you can figure out what is going to happen before it happens. It's very predictable and at sometimes very boring even it's mild chuckle type laughs can't keep you entertained all the way through. But I have to give the film the benefit of the doubt and say that even though it was just another recycled Rom Com doesn't mean it wasn't heartfelt or even slightly dramatic, to tell you the truth this film did have it's moments of really drama, but it was so mellowed out that it almost seemed like a Soap Opera episode at times and at other times it was real, plausible drama. But none the less The Proposal was nothing more than a laughless, mildly entertaining Romantic Comedy with a good idea that fell on cliques.


Sandra Bullock(Who is her usual dry humored self in this.) Is the same in this as she was in Two Weeks Notice, except in Two Weeks Notice her character wasn't such a witch(at first.) but she couldn't elevate herself enough to be even the least bit believable as the female lead. Ryan Reynolds(who was exactly the same in this one as Bullock.) He was very dry and even more unconvincing as the over worked assistant, he didn't give off a shred of even the slightest bit of power in his acting. It just stayed the same throughout the whole film. But none the less Bullock and Reynolds don't show the less bit of chemistry and are almost at each others throats throughout the whole film, even in the mushy end.





The Proposal is mildly smart and half baked entertainment that is sure to please you if you leave your criticism at the door, but even if you do you'll find it hard to watch this movie as it plays out in front of you. The Proposal is not such a sweet deal as it's made out to be but it is passing entertainment, not something new or breathtaking like(500) days of Summer. But it doe shave it's moments of being good and it shows it but not enough to satisfy completely but it will give you a run for your money, It may lose but it does try. But none the less It's a good idea gone sidetracked by Rom Com formula.

Joel Schumacher had it right with Batman Forever but here with Batman and Robin his tongue in cheek attitude and the constant barrage o jokes get to an almost unbearable limit in this fourth and final installment of the 89-97 series.




Batman and Robin while dripping with the same style that made the first three great fails to impress here. You see what Schumacher tries to do is add more humor and action to the series. But it falls flat on bad performances from the entire main cast, they try there best to stay afloat with the dumb dialogue, the bad humor and terrible inside jokes, the bland and very emotionless performances. It can't succeed under these circumstances only fail, and fail is what it does.




George Clooney(who is terribly miscast as The Cape Crusader.) Does nothing but bring a great character down with his bland performance. He disgraces the cape and the role. Chris O'Donnell, who I never really like in this film and didn't like him much in the third either he's so childish, boring and so out of place in this all he succeeds in doing is bring the film farther under water. Arnold Schwarzenegger(Who is down right terrible here.) Is not terrifying, evil or smart as Mr. Freeze. All he is is nothing but a big Sumo Wrestler with a problem with warm air. But none the less the cast tries, not by very much, but they try none the less to elevate a campy and dumb movie to the greatness the first three had achieved.






Batman and Robin was not a favorite of mine even when I was young I didn't like it(And that's saying something!) It was too campy and dumbed down to be called real entertainment or even a real movie at that. All in all It's not great or even good It's just a bad idea gone worse.

While Spider-Man and Spider-man 2 set the bar higher for excellence in comic book adaptions, Spider-Man 3 the latest installment in the hugely popular series is a massive step down from those two. It has far too many plot lines and too many villains and that just makes it a crowed mess. While it does boast some really dazzling action sequences and some cool fights in the film, it still can't be saved or salvaged from the over use of everything in Spider-Man3.





Spider-Man 3 tries to elevate the feel and hyper kinetic style of the film with over blown action sequences and on par CGI. But that's not what we need in Spider-Man, no what we need in this film is stronger emotional conviction, more sorrow and a deeper look into the power that turns men in monsters. But sadly we got what Sam Rami thought what audiences would want extreme action, a dark setting(which I liked.) and gloomy style, which is good in all but still can't make up for the lack of care taken to make this movie. As you watch it you feel like your watching Die Hard or a Mark Whalberg movie it doesn't take it's time to tell just one story, it has to tell five: Parker's, Osbourne's, Watson, Brock's, Marko It's just too crowded and contrived at times and really that brings down the value of the film and the high hopes of a highly acclaimed and thoroughly enjoyable third movie. Instead we get a poorly made, adequately acted and jumble film that has high entertainment values but none of the heart of the first two.




Tobey Maguire(Who is a real let down here.) Tries his hardest but can't seem to elevate this film past normal or mediocre if you will. You can see clearly see in some scenes that he is pushing ever so hard to be bad and evil as the film suggest but he can't pull it off, even when he's suppose to have his revelation and go back to good it's not that powerful, but he tries and I will give him the befit of the doubt. Kirsten Dunst(Who was totally annoying here.) is nothing short of bad and just her usual,nothing new self here. She doesn't push hard enough to make her character believable all she does is just stand there and look pretty which is good an all but not enough to say she was good. Topher Grace(Who hired this wimp again?) Is neither good or convincing as the sadistic and all powerful Venom, I felt like he was just another High School bully for Parker to wipe the floor with, I wasn't scared or in awe of Venom, Grace turned him into a cowardly punk instead of the head on villain Venom is, Grace just plain sucks in this and is one of the main reasons this film fails. The cast tries and fails to give this film a good reputation but they can't, they fall and fall hard on the over reliance of CGI and the poor script, but none the less they do adequately here.




Spider-Man 3 is great fun but not great film making, It's a good look at how too much power can corrupt a man and turn a hero into an evil tyrant. But beyond those two good qualities everything else here fails miserable and is just poor entertainment and not as good as it could have been. All in all Spider-Man 3 is an A-Bomb.

As most Marvel comic book adaptions go there almost always great and have some amazing depth of character, heart and power to drive the complex story of an ordinary man put in an extraordinary situation. While Ghost Rider has heart and power it lacks the depth of character and skill to properly tell the story of one of Marvel's not so likable anti-hero's.



Ghost Rider boast a powerful and driven story but it lacks much of what made previous Marvel comic book adaptions. It doesn't have the extreme depth of emotion or sense of what right or wrong is it just goes clunky along seeing what it can do with it' stylish and dark visuals. But all we get in returns is hammy dialogue, misguided action sequences and a story that makes little to no sense at times. But it is a fun ride for your money, a ride that's not easy to sit through but fun none the less.




Nicholas Cage(Who has done better.) Is not really convincing or moving as The Ghost Rider, He doesn't invoke a sense of sorrow from the audience and in turn we can't truly feel the pain and lose of his character Johnny Blaze. Peter Fonda(Who is good here but can't save this movie.) Is good as the movie villain, while he doesn't really steal the show like most big screen comic book villains he does bring a sense of terror to the screen and it plays out well(Although I despise who he plays.) But he does good none the less. Eva Mendes(Who just solidified herself as one of Hollywood's worst actress.) is just down right terrible in this, she can't bring emotion and even if she does she sounds like she's from a soap Opera and she really brings this film down. But all in all the cast does adequately with there assigned parts and try so very hard to make this a good movie but sadly can't elevate this movie pass alright.





Ghost Rider had so much potential to be great but fell flat on it's face, with it's dark and moody style it's foreboding and vigilante sense of justice and a story that doesn't really sit well It's just another average Supernatural thriller that just happens to have the Marvel logo attached to it. All in all Ghost Rider is fair entertainment it won't win any new fans or respect as a movie as time goes on. Ghost Rider is an A-Bomb

This movie has it all the look, the feel, the dark atmosphere. But what is it missing? Well the suspense and nail biting tension is one. Two the lack of a real villain and really believable, average Joe hero's, three It's just not that worthy of being called a psycho thriller. Because it's missing one thing, the Psycho. Pacific Heights has a fantastic idea and a good style that really is believable, but the story is severely lacking and falls hard on the cliche's when the film's story is at it's peak and sadly the sinister villain played by Michael Keaton is not what you expect or hope for, in fact the whole plot of the movie is not what you hope for.




Pacific Heights tries very hard to be a powerful and frightening suspense thriller but it can't seem to get past the fact that it just doesn't even make sense at sometimes. It's derivative, boring and a shamble of a movie that wants to be something more than what it is. All in all it's got a bad idea that was made into a bad movie with only one good performance to save it from falling into the black abyss of movie oblivion.





Michael Keaton is alright as the not so evil villain and is the only reason this film keeps it head above water, barely. He isn't as good as he was in his previous works Batman or Bettlejuice for that matter but he does try very hard to elevate the poor material above just plain bad, but sadly he can't. Matthew Modine who I have never heard of, and for good reason. He is nothing of a leading man type he can't even hold his own against Keaton's villain. His acting is on par between bad and extremely shallow and is a sight for sore eyes and really brings down this film. Melanie Griffith is absolutely terrible as the lead female, her kiddie voice makes her a very,very unconvincing in this film and can't carry it. The cat falls flat and the story falls with them.





Pacific Heights is good in only it's style but fails to please when it really should and can't deliver on the promise it makes with the premise. It falls and falls hard on it's promise to deliver palpable suspense and thrills. All in all Pacific Heights is an A-Bomb.