Movies I Hate (or, at least, don't like)

It's pretty ironic that Rob Zombie's a guy who hates horror movies that consist of young, attractive teens/college students getting brutally murdered one by one without regards to plot or character development, and then his directorial debut turns out to be just that . This movie comes across as wanting to be like the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", but winds up being a poorly shot, poorly cast (minus Sid Haig, he was great) cliche-ridden piece of shit. Don't watch this. For the love of god, don't watch this. It's not worth the blood sweat and tears that went into it's making.

A dull gorefest about a bunch of college kids getting murdered and eaten by stereotypical hicks. The acting was good, especially Robert Englund's performance, but it wasn't enough to make the flat, bad-dialogue-and-pun-ridden script any good. Boring, boring, boring...

God, this movie is terrible. The dialogue is corny (in a bad way), the fights are uninspired, and the teenagers that get slaughtered in this movie are so obnoxious and annoying that I really don't care about their deaths. The only good thing about this movie is the soundtrack album, but being a metalhead, that's a biased opinion. As for the movie alone, it has only one redeeming qualitiy: Robert Englund's performance as the character he will unfortunately always be associated with, Freddy Kruger...

Dull...

Great cast, but it's dull...

I'm going to be honest. I do not like this movie. The cast is excellent, as is the costume design, but that's all the nice things I can say about this movie. Putting Hong-Kong style fights in a swashbuckler is a great concept, but to be frank, the fights were badly choreographed and even more poorly shot. The script was weak in terms of character development, and the many sad attempts at one-liners come off as cheesy rather than quotable. It would've worked if the script followed Dumas books a little more closely, and if the fights were choreographed and filmed better. Sadly, however, this movie will forever remain one that had a great concept and great potential that it fell far from achieving.

Ugh...I. Hate. This. Movie. With. A. PASSION!!!!! The all-star cast, with the exception of Ron Perlman, give performances that make me want to puncture my eardrums with an ice pick. The digital "special effects" make the stop-and-go animation of old look like "Jurassic Park", and saying the plot was weak is generous. To think that the guy who directed this tripe would go on to direct "Amelie" is astonishing. What's even more astonishing is that this crap-tastic motion picture is part of a series that includes two of the best sci-fi/horror films to ever grace the silver screen.

Two nice things I can say about this movie: The scene where the Siamese twins started to fight each other was hilarious. Ron Perlman gives yet another excellent performance, this time in a second language, which makes it even more astonishing. Other than that, I can't bring myself to like this movie, imaginative though it may be. When compared to other movies directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, it's not nearly as bad as "Alien:Resurrection", but it falls far from the masterpiece that is "Amelie". Check it out if you're in the mood for something "different".

Why people like this piece of shit film is beyond me. Maybe I just don't find blatant humor about the mentally handicapped all that funny.

One star for Kathy Bates and Henry Winkler being in it. I hope each of their paychecks was more than this movie's box-office take.

Hey Gus Van Sant, thanks for taking a work of art and turning it into an exploitation flick. That was a stroke of pure genius! Oh, and brilliant casting, as well. Vince Vaughn is a much better actor than Anthony Perkins!

Probably one of the most overrated horror movies since "The Shining". Brad Dourif, known as Grima Wormtongue to us geeks, was wonderful as serial killer turned "Good Guy" doll Charles "Chucky" Lee Ray. His sleazy voice, coupled with top-notch puppeteering by the anamatronics crew, truly brought Chucky to life. The rest of the cast, aside from the little kid, were so-so. The little kid was annoying as all get out. I wanted him to die a quick painless death just to stop his constant whining. The movie has a good premise, because what's scarier than something seemingly childlike and innocent turning out to be a threat? But this movie was poorly executed, and didn't live up to it's potential or it's hype.

Lord almighty, this movie is boring. It has four saving graces that made me give it one star. 1: A good cast. 2: A gang of creepy little kids that wind up being important to the underdeveloped story. 3: The main antagonist getting his comeuppance in the best way possible. 4: A laugh-out-loud scene involving a killer chatting about work with one of the victims (who's attempting to escape), unaware that said victim isn't a fellow co-worker. Other than that, this is a major letdown. I'm surprised that the director of "Cabin Fever" also gave us this tripe.

It inspired Frank Miller to write and draw "300". That's the only nice thing I can say about this long, dull, pretentious, plodding, and dated epic.

Up until the kick-ass twist ending, it was boring and predictable. Don't bother even renting it. Just because great actors like Johnny Depp and John Turturro are in it doesn't make it good. One star is generous, and I only gave it that because of the twist near the end.

Wow, this movie sucked. Yes, I did see the first one, and I liked the first one. But this load of tripe had a wonderful beginning and nothing more. Tobin Bell still lays on the creep factor as Jigsaw, but the air of mystery from the first movie is gone now that we know what he looks like and what he's capable of. Whereas the first one had characters that we cared about, the handful of victims in this installment are so annoying and such terrible people that I wish for their immediate death. That's not what I want from a horror movie like this. I want to sympathize with the victims and fear the killer. Horror fans, do yourself a favor. Don't waste your time on this lackluster sequel. If anything, pretend it doesn't exist.

Nauseatingly stereotypical chick-flick fare. Hate it, hate it, hate it!!! Hank Azaria's too good of an actor to be reduced to the bit part he had in this piece of shit. And was Debra Messing really that desperate for a job after "Will & Grace" wrapped that she'd agree to be in this god-awful tripefest? Apparently, the answer is an unfortunate "yes".

Hmmm, what word can I come up with to describe this movie? Oh, I know...overrated. It's got quite a cult following, but personally, I don't see why. I laughed at the cow-and-schoolbus scene, and the scene where Napoleon dances at the assembly. And I found Pedro to be a very likeable character. The title character, however, was obnoxious. No wonder that whiner's so unpopular. It's got the occasional laugh strewn here and there, but it's not the masterpiece it's often cited as being. Pretty dull stuff if you ask me.

It's badly shot, badly written, and the performances in it are laughable at best. Simply put, there's nothing good about this movie. Period.

Daniel Day-Lewis gives a brilliant performance as oilman Dan Plainview, and the scenes where he spars with Paul Dano are some of the best moments on screen. The REST of the movie, unfortunately, is disappointingly dull. It's a solid movie, but unlike the actors that perform in it, it's nothing special.