Movies I Own

Tripping balls, man. This is like...if The Fountain was a good movie. The ending of this movie is so awesome that I was eating a sandwich while watching it and I totally forgot about the sandwich. It's crazy to think that such a wacked out movie also contains the most realistic portrayal of space ever put to film. The special effects are not dated at all, which is really remarkable for an almost 40 year old film. I think this movie will be misunderstood for the rest of time, but that's OK, because I really enjoy it, and it's been incredibly influential in my own ideas of filmmaking (you know, because I'm so established and everything). I think basically what I'm trying to say is this movie is fucking perfect and if you dislike it, you have no business speaking to me ever.

I don't even know what the hell this movie is really about, but I'll be damned if it isn't the greatest mess ever put to celluloid. The movie that destroyed Christopher Doyle and WKW's partnership.

I love this movie. I once watched it 4 times in a day when I was sick. Yes, I was delirious, and yes, it was good. Best horror movie ever- destined to be a classic. Really sucks they made a sequel. The ending of this movie was really sort of...the end, you know? It didn't leave it open, but of course the assholes in power decided they wanted more money, so they hired some hacky director to poop out a sequel. I prefer to think they are unrelated. Either way, everything about this movie is perfect, including one of, if not THE, best soundtracks ever.

Mmm...Wilder brand cynicism. It's shocking for it's time to see such a hard-edged, angry film. In a time when most films were sanitized to the point of inanity, Wilder had the balls to make this pitch-black film about the disgrace that is the American media. Kirk Douglas kicks unholy amounts of ass in the lead role. One of the most ruthless performances ever put to film. Great film, by far Wilder's best, and that's really saying something. And the fact that it's 57 years old and still every bit as relevant as the day it came out is saying something, too. Something terrible about our society.

One of the few times metafiction has worked. Damn entertaining. Not Kaufman's finest, but still pretty good.

As George Carlin once said- the wrong two Beatles died first. John Lennon was a badass. If you don't have a giant shit eating grin plastered on your face when this movie is over, then you, sir, are dead inside. I love the Beatles like I love life. There will never be another band like them. Oh, also the soundtrack is really good. Go figure.

Butt clenchingly good. Like the worst nightmare you've ever had, and Rosanna Arquette is in it. Just as a side comment- one of the reviewers for this movie thinks its The Hours, starring Nicole Kidman. So, there's that.

I only know like three people that have seen this movie, and it saddens me. It's so good and so depressing and so beautiful that all you can do is stare and try not to masturbate furiously. If this ever gets remade, I swear I'll firebomb.

This movie is absolutely hysterical. The problem is that most people seem to forget that this is a comedy, and think it's just stupid. It's great to watch this and then realize that this is the man who is now portraying every young boy's hero (Batman). Can you imagine Patrick Bateman babysitting? I know alot of people hate it, but this is one of my favorites.

Not as good as the second, but still fucking awesome. Primitive screwheads.

I'm going to throw this out there- The only negative review people can come up with is "It's really long!" Really? That's your only complaint? Seriously. Is that grounds for completely dismissing a film, or..WALKING OUT ON IT? I hate you people. Best movie of 2007, by far. So worth the two year wait. The reigning champion of this year's western showdown (the other being the sort of good 3:10 To Yuma). I can't say enough good about this movie. It's a masterpiece, and it's only the director's second movie. I can't wait for what he comes up with next, considering this. It doesn't even feel that long. I mean, people, complaining about the length is absolutely ridiculous considering Pulp Fiction is the same length, and that's everybody's favorite movie. So fuck off with that. Granted, this movie will probably not make a ton of money, and most people will probably hate it, considering there's no clear cut good/bad guys, there's only one shootout and it's at the very beginning and it doesn't tell you how to feel about it, kind of how the whole movie doesn't force you to take sides, and, oh my god, at times it almost seems as if Robert Ford has...vomit...homosexual feelings for Jesse. Yucky! What I love about this movie is you could watch this whole thing and love Jesse James, or you could be counting down the seconds until Robert Ford shoots him in the back (it's not a spoiler, it's in the title), and either approach is fine. I love a film that works in shades of grey, not black and white. Everybody is going batshit over Casey Affleck, who does give a very good performance, but I really think it's Brad Pitt who anchors this movie. You know, he gets unfairly lumped into the "pretty boy" category a lot, and I like to toot this guys horn because I think he's a great actor who just happens to be good looking. Hopefully this should quiet some of the naysayers. I mean, Christian Bale is beloved by women the world round, and yet people squirt all over for him (I'm going to admit, I'm one of those people, he's awesome). All this to say that Pitt's performance is fantastic. If this weren't the same year that we got Viggo Mortensen's performance in Eastern Promises, I'd say he should get a Best Actor nod. Of course, this movie will probably be completely ignored by the Academy Awards (it doesn't make a huge statement, it doesn't have really fiery blustery speeches about big topics, and it's not written by Paul Haggis or backed by the Weinstein's...in fact, I think Warner Bros is just trying to bury it), but years from now, this will be spoken of in the same sentence with classics of the genre, along with classics of cinema PERIOD. So, in case you can't tell, I fucking loved this movie. If you have any sort of taste, please see this movie. If not for anything else, see it for the fucking INCREDIBLE cinematography. My god, Roger Deakins is a genius. There's this one shot of Jesse standing atop a stack of wood used to stop a train for a robbery, and it's probably one of the most beautiful shots I've ever seen in any movie ever. That makes no sense unless you see the movie, which you won't, so why am I even trying? Academy, I understand that you're probably too busy being solicited by the Weinstein's to really pay attention to this movie, but please, please, PLEASE give Roger Deakins an award for this. For this or No Country for Old Men. You could even give it to him for In the Valley of Elah...which is a Haggis film, so hey, you love that guy, right? You know it's right. Also, Andrew Dominik, try not to wait another 7 years to make another movie, ok pal? Also, Brad Pitt, or B-Rad, as I think you'd like me to call you- can you're company produce more great shit like this? And for those of you complaining about the length, fuck off. And for those special cases who couldn't even watch the whole movie and yet feel they can review the film...you can go fuck yourselves as well. Every year it seems like there's one of these movies where I am so gaga over it and people hate on it (last year was Children of Men, which was more widely accepted than this at least), and I never understand why. I mean, I'm not going to pull a "Go watch a Michael Bay movie you dummies" because I'm sure people that have otherwise impeccable taste can hate this movie, but please, please, hate it because you think the acting sucks, or the directing sucks, or the story is uninteresting. Complaining about a movie's length is so very stupid and makes you look a lot less smarter than you really are. I want to fuck this movie.

WKW's cheesiest, its basically a hong kong remake of mean streets...before he became wong kar wai as we know him. don't know why i've never reviewed this...probably because i don't care about it.

Scorsese during his "for the love of all things that are good and holy, give me an Oscar" period, but DiCaprio was really miscast. Still, he's such a fine actor that he makes it work. Low on the list of Scorsese's films, but still makes it twenty times better than anything else.

Oh man, what a wonderful surprise this movie was the first time. Too bad they keep releasing all these dumb ass DVD versions. Stick with the Badder Santa edition. God this movie is filthy and awesome. "You're name is Therman Merman?"

One of the only Godard films I can totally get behind. I had such a crush on Anna Karina back in my high school "I'm so edgy I only watch French film" days.

My favorite of the Coen Brother's films, so far.

The seminal portrayal of Batman for our times. Every time I watch it I cream a little bit. When the fuck does the Dark Knight come out?!?!?! This is basically the first time anybody has understood what Batman is all about- he's not about stupid gadgets, it's not about weird as fuck villains (though they are cool), and it's not GAY- it's about a tortured sociopath who dresses like a fucking bat and scares the shit out of criminals. Bonus points for those of you who have counted how many times the screenplay uses the word "Fear". The theme of this movie is....Fear. DID YOU KNOW THAT? I think the crowning moment of any Batman film thus far is when Cillian Murphy shows up on horseback in a straightjacket mumbling "There is nothing to fear but fear itself" and then fire shoots out of the horse's nostrils. If they can top that in The Dark Knight, I will give my man virginity to Christopher Nolan. (Full disclosure- I already have. It was great and he spilled tea on me.)

So many wonderful and perfect parts come together to form a brilliant whole. I love this movie. Not as good as Eternal Sunshine, but still damn good.

Not the Coen Bros finest, but damn funny. One of those movies where your brain floats away and you dont mind.

I love it.

So I just got the Final Cut for Christmas. Two words- HELL YEAH. Finally, the CUT OF ALL CUTS. So good. So very, very good. If you've only seen the terrible theatrical cut, or the OK director's cut from 1992, you haven't seen anything yet. Rent, or better yet, BUY the final cut, and have your eyes opened. THIS is Blade Runner as it was meant. And if you're a fan, then you need the 5 disc briefcase edition. Because you get a little metallic unicorn. And now I'm going to carry it on the street and look like I have important business. Awesome movie, that is all.

The only Lynch film I like. Dennis Hopper is AWESOME.

What a kick in the pants this movie is. I think this movie contains some of the finest directing I have ever witnessed. It's like Scorsese and Altman got together and made a baby and it was Paul Thomas Anderson, and the world is grateful. I can watch this movie a thousand times and never, ever get sick of it. "People tell me I look like Han Solo." God I fucking love this movie. I've been on a recent PTA kick after really, really loving There Will Be Blood, and I've been rewatching all of his films, and this is still my favorite...aside from TWBB, of course.

One of my personal all time guilty 80's flick pleasures.

I can't really think of what to say about this movie. It brazenly defies categorization. It's insane. That's all there is to it. Kiyoshi Kurosawa is one of the most interesting directors out there, and this is his best (so far). If you ever get a chance, please watch this movie, you will enjoy it, I know you will, because I know YOU.

This movie is like a crazed fever dream. It's not Scorsese's best, but it does star Nicolas Cage in full on freak-out mode, so that counts for something right there.

I'd like to say one thing about this film- black JFK. You aren't even reading this part because you're already running to the videostore.

i really, really, really like this movie which is a shame because vincent gallo is such a fucking jerk. i have no idea why i like this but i do. its like a 70's film that was made in the 90's. note to guys- if you look at christina ricci's boobs in this movie (and you will), you are officially a pedophile.

Good ol' classic. If you don't like it your brain is broken.

One of my all time favorite films. Perfect Altman. How you could not think that Elliott Gould is the coolest motherfucker on the planet is beyond me. The use of sound in this film is incredibly innovative. We wouldn't have the things we have available to us today, filmmaking wise, if it weren't for Altman.

DeNiro's last good movie, until he does another Scorsese. This movie never lets up. It's like a speeding train into your MIND.

I actually enjoyed this movie, although the real Frank Abagnale wishes he looked like Leonardo DiCaprio. Have you seen that guy? Dude's ugly.

The only Kevin Smith movie that is an actual movie. Still, it's a pretty mediocre actual movie.

By far the best movie of 2006, and one of the best of all time. The experience of seeing it in the theatre for the first time will most likely never be equaled. I love this movie so much that late at night I take it off the shelf and make out with it. If you don't like this movie it's probably because you're wearing diapers. This movie is in my All Time Top 5, which is hard to crack.

Great flick. If you haven't seen it by now, I really don't know what to say.

Some of the greatest cinematography ever. Shows how when you ignore what they teach you in film school, you are awesome.

A powerful and beautiful film where all the camera gimmicks actually serve the story instead of take away from it.

Eh...the only thing in this movie that made me almost piss myself was the "shoe polish smelling motherfucker" line. THAT was damn clever. The rest of the movie is more inspiring as an example of what you can achieve with very little money...than actually that funny.

Overrated, but good. Mainly just interesting. Kubrick did way better than this. The book really sucks, though. This is most people's favorite Kubrick because it has boobs and violence.

Absolutely magical. Spielberg's masterpiece. Wondrous and imaginative and sweet. You owe it to yourself to see this movie and love it.