Movies I own

"Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny? An obese man... a disgusting man who could barely stand up; a man who if you saw him on the street, you'd point him out to your friends so that they could join you in mocking him; a man, who if you saw him while you were eating, you wouldn't be able to finish your meal. After him, I picked the lawyer and I know you both must have been secretly thanking me for that one. This is a man who dedicated his life to making money by lying with every breath that he could muster to keeping murderers and rapists on the streets!"

"When I introduce you, and I tell them who you are, I don't think anyone will stay for dinner."

"Aux contraire mon cher, he could eat the whole colony."

"They wait for your to stick your FACE right up against the glass! And then give you a big, fat "boo"!"

"If you were able to know when you were going to die, would you want to know?"

"People like you don't know what is like to get hurted. Because you don't have feelings. People like you don't feel anything!"

"The reality is we're still 11 year old boys locked in a cellar imagining what our lives would have been if we'd escaped."

"You know it's funny what a young man recollects? 'Cause I don't remember bein' born. I don't recall what I got for my first Christmas and I don't know when I went on my first outdoor picnic. But I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world."

"Magic is the bloodstream of the universe. Forget all you know, or think you know. All that you require is your intuition."

" If I were to send you flowers where would I... no, let me rephrase that. If I were to let you suck my tongue, would you be grateful?"

"You have to know the answer to this question! If you died right now, how would you feel about your life?"

"Don't mock me my friend. It's a condition of mental divergence. I find myself on the planet Ogo, part of an intellectual elite, preparing to subjugate the barbarian hordes on Pluto. But even though this is a totally convincing reality for me in every way, nevertheless Ogo is actually a construct of my psyche. I am mentally divergent, in that I am escaping certain unnamed realities that plague my life here. When I stop going there, I will be well. Are you also divergent, friend?"

"I told him about the torture, the beating and the rapes. I told him about four frightened boys who prayed to Father Bobby's God for help that never came. I told him everything."

"In our family, there was no clear line between religion and fly fishing."

"It's strange to me that something so harmless as a jacket could symbolize such a great lie."

"I was on so many drugs and there was so much stuff going on. What I can figure out is - is that I loved Mike. I really loved him."

"People break down into two groups. When they experience something lucky, group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance. I'm sure the people in group number two are looking at those fourteen lights in a very suspicious way. For them, the situation is a fifty-fifty. Could be bad, could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they're on their own. And that fills them with fear. Yeah, there are those people. But there's a whole lot of people in group number one. When they see those fourteen lights, they're looking at a miracle. And deep down, they feel that whatever's going to happen, there will be someone there to help them. And that fills them with hope. See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, that sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?

"Reagan usually does the driving. Stolen switch car. They leave it running... on the curb. It look sparked from the distance. When they run they dump the vehicle and they vanish... like a virgin on prom night. I mean they vanish, swishh..."

" I don't feel the sickness yet, but it's in the post. That's for sure. I'm in the junkie limbo at the moment. Too ill to sleep. Too tired to stay awake, but the sickness is on its way. Sweat, chills, nausea. Pain and craving. A need like nothing else I've ever known will soon take hold of me. It's on its way."

"I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriosuly, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends."

"Never trust the living! We cannot have a routine haunting like yours provide proof that there is existence beyond death."

"You see, science has overcome time and space. Well, Harvey has overcome not only time and space, but any objections."

"It was a good dream, my best one. Everything was perfect. My mother was proud of her son's wings. My half-sister, Meg, lost her braces. My other half-sister, Gloria, had realized my intellectual superiority and was quietly respectful to me. My stepfathers were slaves, captured in battle. And there was a WAC by my side, not too bright, not too loud, hugely attractive. It's a good dream: a "John Wayne meets Hugh Hefner" philosophy of life... if you consider Hef a philosopher... or John Wayne. But whatever the dream, there's always a face that I can't see, that I keep missing, out there beyond the edge of the crowd."

"HE'S COOKING OUR GARBAGE."

"You'd think at a certain point all these atypical somethings would amount to a typical something."

One of the best sequels. Unforgettable ending.
"Hey, maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal!"

"Finding new and preferably disgusting ways to degrade a friend's mother was always held in high regard."

"Well, you see, that's sort of confusing. It's either David Lee Roth who's on tour or Sean Penn. And I'd really hate to upset Madonna."

" All women have a garden, and a garden needs a big hose to water it... or a small hose... as long as it works."

"Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night."

"You think I wouldn't have been prepared? Two years I spent setting up that elevator job, two years I invested in it. You couldn't understand the kind of commitment that I have. You ruined a man's life's work and you think you can walk away? You got blinders on to the world! But I got your attention now, didn't I Jack?"

"Honest. We went over to Mikey's dads place and we found this map that said that underneath this place there's buried treasure."

"He's better at this than I've ever been at anything in my life. He's better at this than you'll ever be, at anything. My son has a gift. He has a gift, and when you acknowledge that, then maybe we will have something to talk about."

"You wrote to me once, listing the four chief virtues: Wisdom, justice, fortitude and temperance. As I read the list, I knew I had none of them. But I have other virtues, father. Ambition. That can be a virtue when it drives us to excel. Resourcefulness, courage, perhaps not on the battlefield, but... there are many forms of courage. Devotion, to my family and to you. But none of my virtues were on your list. Even then it was as if you didn't want me for your son."

"Dear Mr. Petre, I'm a captive in a nunnery."

"Look down the road to her wedding. I'm in a room alone with her, fixing her veil, fluffing her dress, telling her no woman has ever looked so beautiful. And my fear is she'll think, "I wish my mom were here." "

Every family has their trials and tribulations, but this family has a whole other "ballpark" to figure out. With some twist and comedic turns, this film will have you cringing from one moment to laughing at the next.

Great family film.

a movie about men who have short attention spans: made for men who have short attention spans.