Movies I Wish Were Real

This movie changed the art of film forever with its powerfully realistic use of a then-uncommon effect technique called CGI. Of course, such a revolutionary picture would be directed by Steven Spielberg.

Michael Crichton's original story focused on the ethics of genetic reproduction and cloning, which has become a real-life issue since the release of his novel. The film adaptation touches on the debate, but it focuses more on the action side of the story, as summer Hollywood blockbusters often do.

Still, what a totally awesome premise for a movie. The story captivates the imagination and, despite the horrible failure of the theme park, makes you wish dinosaurs roamed the earth once again. The amazing use of computer graphics to bring the dinosaurs to life lends great realism. Had it not been for CGI, this film may not have had the same impact that it did.

Defined both the summer blockbuster movie and the disaster movie genre.

I liked finally seeing Spider-Man in live action with CGI effects. And they managed to stay relatively faithful to the comic book mythology, but...

The Green Goblin looked like the end result of Popeye swallowing the spinach can whole: a green, metal, flying piece of shit. If Sesame Street re-imagined Oscar the Grouch for the 21st century, he'd look like the Green Goblin.

A classic film that takes you on an emotional journey following the amazing life of dimwitted hero Forrest Gump while lovingly and creatively inserting him into some of the most important events in modern American history.

If it weren't for the nostalgia factor and the greatest CGI in the history of cinema, Transformers would've been utter crapola. Michael Bay has proven once again that he is the master of dramatic camera angles... and that's pretty much the extent of his filmmaking prowess. His films are eye candy, nothing more, nothing less. Which YOU may be fine with, but I'm sorry, seeing my childhood memories rendered in glorious CGI just isn't worth 9 dollars in itself. I expect more for my money. Yes, even from a movie like Transformers.

You need tension in your films to make the climax... well, climactic. But Michael Bay can't build tension to save his life. With Transformers, there was no build-up leading up to the climactic Autobot/Decepticon fight. Instead, I found myself getting restless waiting for Prime and Megatron to go at it already. Bay thinks that gratuitous slow-motion shots and dramatic voice-overs somehow build momentum for a climax. They don't. It's like giving the punchline to a joke without the set-up.

Bay constantly puts his characters in danger and wants you to care for them, but you don't. Really, would you have cared if Tyrese lived or died? Instead of giving the characters personalities and emotions and depth and MAKING the audience care, Bay is more concerned with putting them in dramatic silhouettes. If you don't develop the characters, then they are merely talking heads, and you won't give a crap if they lived or died, thus affecting the overall impact of the subsequent life-and-death action sequence and killing your desired dramatic effect. PROOF: Tyrese's character, a human, was nothing more than a few witty lines of dialogue. On the other hand, Bumblebee, a car, actually built a relationship with Sam (and through Sam, the audience). Did you genuinely fear for Tyrese's safety? Nope. But did you feel sorry for Bumblebee when he lost his leg? Did you want him to break free when he got captured? Exactly. You cared more about a car than a human, because of character development. ...And no, making a character say "My dad was a criminal" is NOT character development. Character and plot are just afterthoughts to Bay; mere minor inconveniences that get in the way of his true vision: non-stop slow motion shots.

Look, here's the point: either make it a character-driven action/drama, or cut out all plot and character depth and make it non-stop shoot 'em up eye candy. It works one way or the other... but not both.

But I'm guessing Michael Bay isn't too worried that he's a piece of shit director making piece of shit movies-- it doesn't take much to make millions at the box office anyway when you have an A-list ensemble cast or profitable brand name like Transformers. All he really needs is a chair to sit in so he can comfortably watch the money roll in. To each his own.

About the film: Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox turn in excellent performances with what little character they had. John Turturro sticks out like a sore thumb, and not in a good way. Bernie Mac turns in the most memorable cameo of the movie. The humor in the movie is slightly humorous at times, but mostly it's corny-- which makes me think the film was directed towards kids... but then, what about all the salty language?

Of course, there are those people that just want to see this film for nostalgic purposes, and those are the ones that will be blown away by Transformers. The CGI in this film was the best I've ever seen. But being a fan of the cartoon, I DO have some issues: If Megatron was going to make a gun with his arms, why couldn't he have just BEEN the gun? Bumblebee would've been just as cool as a Volkswagon Beetle-- why'd he have to be a Camaro? And I always thought Starscream was kind of a Streisand, but he's rockin' the shit in this one.

Transformers is a barely decent action flick, kept afloat by the amazing CGI alone. If you're a fan of the cartoon, this is a must-see, regardless of discrepancies. If not, eh... watch it to pass the time.

More clever and entertaining than most live-action adult movies I've ever seen. These characters actually have character.

Be Kind Rewind takes you on a voyage through recent film history-- in other words, you'll feel like Jack Black and Mos Def on the poster.

The acting is solid. Mos Def has surprisingly good comedic timing, and continues to impress with every performance. The rest of the cast is great as well. Michel Gondry's stamp of quirky artistry is all over this film.

Don't expect a Jack Black brand of comedy. The comedy here is unique, and highly enjoyable. The "sweding" of each film will remind you of when you used to dress up and re-enact your favorite movies. The ingenuity involved in each sweding is smart and funny. There is a small drag in the comedy towards the end of the film as the plot grows dramatically, but while this may slow the pace, it is necessary for the story, and the electric presences of each actor will carry you through.

Movie lovers and those seeking childhood nostalgia will enjoy this film the most; but there is something for everyone here. A definite must-see.