MST3K - Movie Sign!


  1. HarleenQuinzel
  2. Harley

Movies that were deemed bad enough to be riffed on my favorite show, Mystery Science Theater 3000.


NOTE: This is a work in progress. A lot of the films are obscure enough to not have a place on flixster as of yet, and MST3K's catalogue of crap cinema is so vast that this is going to be incomplete for a while.

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1
Manos, the Hands of Fate (1966,  Unrated)
Manos, the Hands of Fate
This is a terrible movie. I gave it some generous stars just because I'm fond of Torgo.
2
This Island Earth (1955,  Unrated)
This Island Earth
This movie was actually pretty good, for a 50s-era sci fi flick. I was surprised it was chosen for MST3K: The Movie, but I love the spoofing of the movie as much as I do the original movie.
3
Eegah! (1962,  Unrated)
Eegah!
Watch out for snakes!
4
The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962,  Unrated)
The Brain That Wouldn't Die
Actually not that bad of a movie, it just suffers from a rather ridiculous monster at the end, and some less than spectacular acting. As always, I firmly suggest seeing this as a MST3K episode.
5
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964,  PG)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
It's worth seeing just to say that you HAVE seen it.

Maybe one of the best sci-fi Christmas robot monster films ever.
6
Boggy Creek 2 - and the Legend Continues... (1985,  PG)
Boggy Creek 2 - and the Legend Continues...
Your average, run-of-the-mill bad bigfoot movie, only with 20% more fecal matter! For MST3K viewing only.

"And the legend continues... to be not heard about. By anyone."
7
Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders (1995,  Unrated)
Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
What a completely misleading title!

This movie deals far too much with Satan to have such a cute name. Again, please try and watch this one as a MST3K episode.
8
Teenagers From Outer Space (1959,  Unrated)
Teenagers From Outer Space
Watch with caution.
9
The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961,  Unrated)
The Beast of Yucca Flats
As anything involving Coleman Francis tends to be, this movie is horrid. (And I own it?) Go for the MST3K version (I made the poor choice of seeing the original movie) if you go to see it at all.

Things to avoid while selecting a movie:
1. Anthony Cardoza and/or Coleman Francis' name
2. Tor Johnson in a "starring" role.
10
Beginning of the End (1957,  Unrated)
Beginning of the End
If you're into giant-grasshopper-disaster movies, then go for it. Great MST3K episode, however.
11
The Black Scorpion (1957,  Unrated)
12
Bride of the Monster (1955,  Unrated)
Bride of the Monster
People take shots at Ed Wood but, really, this flick wasn't quite so horrible. Overlook the name of the director , it's not so different from a lot of films of it's era. That said, it's certainly not a phenomenal film by any stretch of the term.

I was fortunate enough to see this as a MST, but I was exposed to it at a young age -- God knows what that's done. Tor Johnson... somehow on par with Bela as far as acting goes in this one? Oh, Bela, Bela, Bela...

That was one unstable octopus!
13
The Corpse Vanishes (1942,  Unrated)
14
The Crawling Eye (The Trollenberg Terror) (1958,  Unrated)
15
The Crawling Hand (Don't Cry Wolf) (The Creeping Hand) (1963,  Unrated)
The Crawling Hand (Don't Cry Wolf) (The Creeping Hand)
That crazy-assed hand. Fun fact, The Skipper from Gilligan's Island is in this flick.
16
Turkey Shoot (Escape 2000) (2008,  R)
17
First Spaceship on Venus (1962,  Unrated)
18
Future War (1997,  Unrated)
19
The Giant Gila Monster (1959,  Unrated)
20
Giant Spider Invasion (1975,  PG)
21
Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973,  G)
22
Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster (1966,  PG)
23
Gorgo (1961,  Unrated)
24
The Green Slime (1968,  PG)
25
Hangar 18 (1980,  PG)
26
Hercules Unchained (1960,  Unrated)
Hercules Unchained
"Or if you want something visual, that's not too abysmal, we could take in an old Steve Reeves movie!"

Well, let's see.. my first initial shock was seeing Mario Bava's name. That's not such a common name, is it? I mean.. Black Sunday Mario Bava?

Anyway. It's a bunch of dubbed men in skirts with a plotline that's hard to follow, though I'm pretty sure it doesn't make much sense in general.

Take it for what it is!
27
Hobgoblins (1988,  R)
28
Hercules (1959,  Unrated)
Hercules
You know, it's all downhill after this movie. And that's a terrifying notion.
29
The Incredible Melting Man (1977,  R)
The Incredible Melting Man
Oddly enough, the melting man is NOT that incredible at all. Go figure.

It's hard to watch straigh through -- as much as MST3K does help. I was shocked to see Rick Baker with makeup credits -- I suppose you have to start somewhere, eh? That's about all that stands out here. Ending is pretty groovy, though.
30
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies (1964,  Unrated)
31
The Killer Shrews (1959,  Unrated)
The Killer Shrews
It's a movie about killer shrews, what more can I really say about it?
32
Laserblast (,  PG)
33
The Lost Continent (1951,  Unrated)
34
Sadko (The Magic Voyage of Sinbad) (1953,  PG)
35
Night of the Blood Beast (The Creature from Galaxy 27) (1958,  Unrated)
36
Phase IV (Phase Four) (1974,  R)
37
Project Moon Base (1953,  Unrated)
38
Robot Monster (1953,  Unrated)
39
Rocketship X-M (1950,  Unrated)
40
Santa Claus (1959,  Unrated)
41
The Slime People (1962,  Unrated)
42
Soultaker (1990,  R)
43
Squirm (1976,  R)
Squirm
Pretty lousy movie, which I actually rented myself from Blockbuster, NOT the MST3K version. Big mistake. Look forward to seeing that episode, otherwise, stay away from the movie.
44
Village of the Giants (1965,  Unrated)
45
Warrior of the Lost World (1985,  Unrated)
Warrior of the Lost World
Donald Pleasence?!

An incredibly awful flick, which makes close to no sense whatsoever. This isn't aided by the crap effects and annoying protagonist. FAIL!

(But Megaweapon IS pretty cool...)
46
Werewolf (1995,  R)
Werewolf
A movie about a vhurvhulf?

It's vhunderfuuuulllll.
47
The Screaming Skull (1958,  Unrated)
The Screaming Skull
I was surprised by how much I liked this flick.

It won me over with the beginning, which assured me that if I were to die during the course of watching this movie, the producers of the flick would cover burial charges for me. Love it.

The movie itsself, I thought, wasn't bad at all. For the most part it kept you guessing until the end, and had an interesting story. There is one scene in particular that features a ghoulish creature, which actually is frightening, because in a sort of cheesy 50s thriller like this you don't expect it at all.

Also, check out the gardener. For fans of MST3K, does he remind you of Torgo? I hope I can find the MST'ing of this somewhere, but it's a fun movie with or without it.
48
The Touch of Satan (Curse of Melissa) (1971,  PG)
The Touch of Satan (Curse of Melissa)
I've watched this movie countless times and I'm still not sure what to think of it.

"This is where the fish live."
49
The Unearthly (1957,  Unrated)
The Unearthly
One of the five billion movies John Carradine was in over his career. One of the lesser.

More than anything this movie is just.. boring.

The standout preformance in this film, however, Mr. Tor Johnson.

"Time for go to bed!"
50
Night Train to Mundo Fine (Red Zone Cuba) (1966,  Unrated)
Night Train to Mundo Fine (Red Zone Cuba)
If I hadn't seen this as a part of MST3K, I wouldn't know to make fun of it. I'd just be really deeply disturbed by it.

Another Coleman Francis classic, (eh, kind of) full of dirt and sleaze and.. Cuba.
51
Mitchell (1975,  R)
Mitchell
Joe Don Baker, the least appealing hero this side of Time Chasers.

Was the sex scene REALLY nescessary?
52
Gunslinger (1956,  Unrated)
Gunslinger
What are you doing, Roger Corman?
53
The Wild World of Batwoman (She Was a Hippy Vampire) (1966,  Unrated)
The Wild World of Batwoman (She Was a Hippy Vampire)
Edge out of the DC comics publishing rights by changing "Batgirl" to "Batwoman", brilliant!

Absolutely bizarre movie with dancing, mole-people, a mad scientist, dancing, and, well, batwoman.
54
The Hellcats (Biker Babes) (1968,  R)
The Hellcats (Biker Babes)
This movie totally lost me, but looking back on it again, there's just a good deal of humor whatching a cheesy biker flick. This is the only cheesy biker flick I've seen so I'm going to assume the experience is the same throughout.
55
I Accuse My Parents (1944,  Unrated)
I Accuse My Parents
A bad premise for a bad movie with a bad title.
56
Ator l'invincibile 2 (Cave Dwellers) (The Blade Master) (1984,  PG)
Ator l'invincibile 2 (Cave Dwellers) (The Blade Master)
A disjointed fantasy adventure that generally makes no sense at all. Still, there's some kind of charm there.

"How much Keef is in this movie?"
"Why, Miles O'Keef!"
57
Los Nuevos Extraterrestres (The Pod People) (The Unearthling) (1983,  Unrated)
Los Nuevos Extraterrestres (The Pod People) (The Unearthling)
Add Alf to E.T. and you get The Pod People

Best summed up a memorable quote from the movie, "It stinks!"
58
Tangents (Time Chasers) (1994,  PG-13)
Tangents (Time Chasers)
An ensemble cast, in the worst sense possible. This movie makes me love it despite the fact that it's so unloveable.

One of my favorite MST'ings
"Marv! Hey, it's me and I'm nude!"
59
Attack of the Giant Leeches (Attack of the Blood Leeches) (Demons of the Swamp) (1960,  Unrated)
Attack of the Giant Leeches (Attack of the Blood Leeches) (Demons of the Swamp)
If the ants in THEM and the grasshoppers in The Beginning of the End, and, God forbid, the shrews in Attack of the Killer Shrews weren't terrifying enough for you..
60
Yusei oji (Prince of Space) (1959,  Unrated)
Yusei oji (Prince of Space)
Although it is one of my favorite MST3K episodes, it is a TRULY pathetic movie. I'd say between getting enslaved by Krankor or admitting that I was saved by Prince of Space -- I'd go with the former.

"Attention, people of earth. BAWK."
61
The Projected Man (1967,  Unrated)
62
Devil Doll (1964,  Unrated)
Devil Doll
I think this has the potential to be creepy, just due to how random and out-of-nowhere some of the 'scares' are. However, this flick just feels like a Twilight Zone episode that was stretched waaaaaay too long. End result? Tedious.
63
The Clonus Horror (1979,  R)
64
Last of the Wild Horses (1948,  Unrated)
65
Il Raggio infernale (Nest of Spies) (Danger!! Death Ray) (1967,  Unrated)
66
Tormented (1960,  Unrated)
67
Space Mutiny (1999,  PG-13)
Space Mutiny
It's THE FUTURE and there's some kind of plot hatching on a big spaceship. It's card to figure what exactly the mutiny is that's referenced in the title, as the whole is pretty far south of coherant. Exciting go-cart chases and a seemingly endless supply of henchman toppling from railing. Not to mention a stirring performance from BIG McLARGEHUGE
68
Daikaijū Gamera (The Giant Monster Gamera) (1965,  Unrated)
Daikaijū Gamera (The Giant Monster Gamera)
I hope I'm reviewing the right movie.. there are so many Gamera movies, raawrgh.

Anyway. Gamera. Big turtle. With spinny lights. Uhh, the movie is, as you probably figured, a lesser Godzilla film, not necessarily a bad thing, though. Granted, this film was made 10x easier to view with the help of my friends on the Satellite of Love.

Tibby, oh Tibby... may God rest her soul.
69
Earth vs. the Spider (1958,  Unrated)
70
The Human Duplicators (Jaws of the Alien) (Space Agent K1) (1965,  Unrated)
The Human Duplicators (Jaws of the Alien) (Space Agent K1)
Ohh, Richard Kiel. Oddly charming in this film as evil alien guy?

This isn't exactly a great movie -- well, it's not even remotely great. Still, it's watchable. Even moreso with the help of our friends on the Satellite of Love...
71
Sampo (The Day the Earth Froze) (1959,  Unrated)
Sampo (The Day the Earth Froze)
Just a ridiculous sort of fantasy story -- all about a SAMPO and turns out to be quite anti-climactic, really. Hard to follow, not exciting at all.. just odd.

SAMPO!!
72
Ercole alla Conquista di Atlantide (Hercules and the Conquest of A) (Hercules and the Captive Women) (1961,  Unrated)
Ercole alla Conquista di Atlantide (Hercules and the Conquest of A) (Hercules and the Captive Women)
The least entertaining Hercules movie I've ever seen.

That's not saying much at all.
73
Swamp Women (Cruel Swamp) (Swamp Diamonds) (1955,  Unrated)
Swamp Women (Cruel Swamp) (Swamp Diamonds)
Roger Corman.. not that great! A very dry crime film, with some mildly attractive women flashing some thigh. That's really about it. Check it out MSTied.
74
Overdrawn at the Memory Bank (1985,  Unrated)
Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
Makes Sci-fi channel feature films look like Lord of the Rings
75
Girl in Gold Boots (1968,  R)
Girl in Gold Boots
There's boots and there's bikinis and oily men. So, you know, if you're into that...
76
Phantom Creeps (,  Unrated)
77
Quest of the Delta Knights (1993,  PG)
78
Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell (Deathstalker 3) (1988,  R)
79
Zombie Nightmare (1986,  R)
80
The Final Sacrifice (Quest for the Lost City) (1990,  PG-13)
The Final Sacrifice (Quest for the Lost City)
ROWSDOWER!!
81
The Starfighters (1964,  Unrated)
The Starfighters
They must have been paying people to take stock footage because I can't really figure any other explaination for this movie. There is no plot! At all. None.

But there are planes.
82
Danger: Diabolik (1968,  PG-13)
Danger: Diabolik
Filled with all kinds of over-the-top action and visuals, with some fun characters and a plot that doesn't matter all that much -- it's just ridiculous and fun.

Who'd have thougt, Mario Bava?

This film stands well on it's own, though I'll be curious to see the MST3K version if I can.
83
Monstrosity (The Atomic Brain) (1964,  Unrated)
Monstrosity (The Atomic Brain)
Because who wants to have sex with the geriatric?
84
Five the Hard Way,(The Sidehackers) (1970,  PG)
Five the Hard Way,(The Sidehackers)
Man oh man, why did sidehackin' never catch on?
85
The Creeping Terror (Dangerous Charter) (The Crawling Monster) (1964,  Unrated)
The Creeping Terror (Dangerous Charter) (The Crawling Monster)
You certainly can't fault the filmmakers for false advertising. There is a lot of creeping, and quite a few people seem to be in the midst terror -- although I can't really see why...
86
Bloodlust! (1961,  Unrated)
87
Catalina Caper (Never Steal Anything Wet) (1967,  Unrated)
Catalina Caper (Never Steal Anything Wet)
I'm not sure if there is a coherant story here or not. Maybe I just got distracted by all the groovy beach scenes.
88
Monster A Go-Go (1965,  Unrated)
Monster A Go-Go
I want to know who pitched the title for this movie. Is it more swingin' than I recall seeing?
89
The Horror of Party Beach (1964,  Unrated)
The Horror of Party Beach
A groovy rockabilly monster movie that's about as good as you'd expect it to be. (Read: Not very). Lots of fun to watch, though, for sure.

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