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shwanzi's Rating |
My Rating |
| 1 |
Azumi
(2006, Unrated)
Recently released in theaters in the US, but I saw it 2 years ago. Ryuhei Kitamura surprises me yet again after his kick ass Versus rocked my world, and this manga based martial arts flick is just as awesome! Great fights, beautiful cinematography (all about that spinning camera shot!) and some touching drama are what this flick is all about!
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| 2 |
The worst movie that I've ever seen and it pisses me off that I can't give this 0 stars! Not one thing works in this mess of a flick... and what's up with every shot being at a Dutch Angle? Pure crap. That's all.
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| 3 |
I hate Broken Lizard, but this was pretty funny. I'm not sure why I laughed at the stupid humor on display here, but I did and had a good time while I did. It features some classic lines and situations, but a lot of the humor either misses the mark or is just flat out dumb. Still, it's enjoyable.
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| 4 |
Could have been much more that a typical dick and fart joke flick, but in the end that's exactly what this is. It has itss moments (all of them usually take place whenever Jon Lovitz is on screen... I WANT HIS HOUSE!), but they're ruined by the overly manipulative ending and some crappy one-liners. Still, Jon Heder's a riot no matter what.
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| 5 |
Boring, pretentious and an absolute joke; this flick had me excited when I first saw the trailer, but upon seeing it in the only theater in the state I have to say that not only do I want a refund... but my gas money back as well. Absolute crap.
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| 6 |
Should have been called Charlie and the House of 1000 Corpses. This was a remake that was not needed and it shows off exactly why I've given up on Tim Burton as a filmmaker... trying too hard to be strange usually equals complete boredom. A waste of time and the talents of Johnny Depp.
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| 7 |
I didn't think this flick would be as good as it ended up being, but I always say that about a new Kevin Smith flick (and Jersey Girl was the only time I was disappointed). Not only does this feature some truly brilliant moments of comedy gold, but it also has a very poignant view on friendship and what it is to take responsibility as an adult. Who knew Kevin Smith had it in him? But King Diamond still sucks ass!
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| 8 |
Awful. Pitiful. Painfully boring and filled with non-stop and mind-numbing exposition, this flick ended up going from my "Must See" list to the bottom of my "Never Want to See Again" list. Nothing but build up toward what should be an explosive climax, but in the end is just a flaccid excuse for a flick. Skip it.
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| 9 |
Now this is entertainment! Frenetically fast paced and it never lets up for a second. Sure it's off-the-wall ridiculous, but it's not meant to be taken seriously, just as a crazy romp with lots of laughs and fucked up shit going on! Statham is the MAN!
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| 10 |
This is what a horror movie should be... about characters that you give a crap about! Great acting is on display here and coupled with the atmospheric setting you have one truly scary movie that pleases on all levels. An all-time fave!
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| 11 |
A fun French action/martial arts movie that slows down a little too often to be a great thrill ride, but it delivers the goods in the form of the Parkour scenes where the skills on display (the art of running away) are made to look unbelievable and it rocks! Entertaining, but it could have been so much more.
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| 12 |
The first was enjoyable smut. This is just plain garbage. Only some cutting edge FX save this from being a total loss, and not even the usually watchable Christian Slater can save this from being a nonsensical trainwreck of a movie. What was the point of the good guy becoming invisible at the end??? Oh ya... so we can have more cool CGI! Worthless.
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| 13 |
Not as funny as the first, but there is enough here to make you piss yourself with laughter. My fave skits were the bucking firehose, the butt beer bong, Dave England getting knocked out by Knoxville's doorbell prank, the four-way see saw and seeing Bam Margera cry like a bitch when the guys throw a King Cobra at him. I didn't, however, need to see Pontius chug horse cum or Dave England eat a cow pie. But if you like this kind of stuff you'll get a kick out of it.
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| 14 |
One of the best movies of the year! Not only does it showcase some of the best choreographed and beautifully filmed fight scenes I've ever seen, but it's got a touching story that defies most of the genre's cliches. One hell of a great movie on many levels.
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| 15 |
Not as bad as some people are making it out to be, but it could have been lots better. It does have a certain something about it that I like, and I can't quite put my finger on exactly what that is just yet, but whatever it is I really got a kick out of it. It's creative and doesn't resort to having a complicated twist in the finale in order to keep you on your toes. But on the flip side it is a little slow and feaures some stupid deus ex machina moments.
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| 16 |
If you watch this flick expecting it to be serious, then you really deserve a bitch slap. This is campy fun at it's finest, and while some of it doesn't work at all, the majority is a riot! "Can't we all just... get along?" Classic.
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| 17 |
Good, but not the great movie it should have been. It slows down way too much in the middle when the script decides to focus on Crockett and leaves Tubbs on the curb, and it's a LOT talky. But in the end it's a cool little crime flick that has some great moments (that trailer raid rocked!) and a fitting finale.
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| 18 |
It's no Napoleon Dynamite, but it'll do. Features some of the funniest fight scenes I've ever seen and a batch of the quirkiest characters this side of Twin Peaks (Esqueleto is the MAN!). Even Jack Black is entertaining (for once)!
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| 19 |
The Empire Strikes Back of the Pirates Trilogy is one fun and kick ass ride! Johnny Depp pwns this flick and turns even the most pointless scene into something worth remembering! I can't wait until next summer to see the conclusion!
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| 20 |
Avoid the American version and check out the original Thai cut. Gone is all the plot, character development and everything you'd expect to make you connect with the film. Instead it's been reduced to a series of disjointed fights that become mind-numbing by the 1-hour mark. Sure Tony Jaa is the shit and the fight that lasts for 5 minutes without one single edit is amazing, but with no story I didn't give a shit.
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| 21 |
Pulse
(2006, PG-13)
This remake of the highly superior J-Horror opus is missing everything that made that film great. Gone is the social commentary of technology isolating us from each other, and in it's place is a lame ghost invasion plot. Avoid it... even the smokin' hot Kristen Bell can't save this turd.
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| 22 |
Now this is how you make a video game movie! You can change things around as long as you respect the source material, and this flick not only feels like the game come to life, but looks and sounds exactly like it too! A bit long, but no flick is perfect. Can't wait for the sequel!
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| 23 |
Cheesy fun! Even though the first 20 minutes are boring and uninspired crap, the rest of this flick is the shizzy! Entertaining to the max and one hell of a good time! I love it!
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| 24 |
The best in the Trek series hands down! It's got a great story, great characters, great action and just about everything in it is great! I can watch this over and over again and never get sick of it.
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| 25 |
The best of te Next Gen cast's flicks. While it treads on The Wrath of Khan's territory, the drama on display is top notch (all about Picard and Shinzon's last moments together!), the action is kick ass and it's all wrapped up in a nice little Trek bow. Release the Director's Cut and I'll give this a 5 star rating!
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| 26 |
The best in the series is usually the first film, and while Empire Strikes back improves on everything in this flick, this one is still the best in my opinion because without it there would be no sequel. An imaginative and rip-roaring epic sci-fi yarn that entertains as much today as it did when I first saw it in '77. A classic example of the magic of Hollywood!
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| 27 |
Awesome! More drama, more character development and more of everything that made A New Hope a spectacle of epic proprtions! Contains the best score of all time and some of the most heart wrenching scenes ever found in a sci-fi flick. An all time favorite!
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| 28 |
My favorite movie of all time! It has a little bit of everything in it... drama, laughs, suspense, romance, an anti-drug theme and some great moments where friendship is put to the ultimate test. Kicks all forms of ass while set to a bitchin' soundtrack.
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| 29 |
Old school 80s flava at it's finest. I still enjoy this movie to this day and can't wait to see how well it translates to live action next summer. The music is hokey, the dialogue is a joke and it's pacing is off now and then, but it's fun and enjoyable throughout. It actually feels like an animated Greek Tragedy with all the death and betrayal going on. A favorite for life!
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| 30 |
Finally a Freddy movie for adults! The whole plot of Freddy being a creature of pure evil that has been trapped within the Nightmare movies and is now trying to cross over into reality is a masterstorke and not just another boring retread of the first film. It's suspenseful and a blast to watch. Only the slightly hokey finale brings the film down a notch.
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| 31 |
What could have been a cool little remake of this cult flick ends up quite an unintenional laughfest. Starts off decent, but after the first 30 minutes all suspense goes out the window when Cage channels his inner William Shatner and things get sillier and sillier (it's basically about evil lesbians) until you just don't care anymore. I totally tuned out when Cage kung-fus a handful of the angry lesbians in a diner. What a shame.
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| 32 |
Uber low budget trash that's entertaining, but only in small doses. The gore is plentiful, but the long stretches between icky bits really drags out a piss poor excuse of a plot to the breaking point, but it's redeemed by the off-the-wall "penis football" scene and the nasty finale.
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| 33 |
A rough movie that is remarkably well acted and directed, and for what is basically a "two people in a room" stage play kind of flick, it's fast paced and never boring. It just bogs down in the end when some ridiculous stuff starts to occur, like this 80 pound girl hoisting a 180 pound dude 5 feet up in the air by a rope. Sorry, ain't happening. But it's a great flick nonetheless.
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| 34 |
This IS the best movie of the year! The cast is phenomenal, as is the sheer amount of talent on desplay n the acting and directing departments. The plot, while a remake of an inferior Chinese film, feels fresh and thrilling from the opening frame. It's suspenseful, dramatic and hysterically funny at times. A perfect example on how to make a crime film and keep it entertaining and serious at the same time. A new all time fave!
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| 35 |
One word... BORING! That is all.
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| 36 |
Fast, fun and effortlessly entertaining. I'm a fan of the show, but this flick is downright awesome in comparison. You don't really need to have seen the show before checking this out, but it helps. The acting is great, the plot and pacing is perfect and the characters, which is exactly what makes the show/movie as good as it is, are phenomenal. In my top 5 films of all time list.
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| 37 |
A goofy and overly cheesy version of this character, and although it features good FX for the time it was released and a great score by Jerry Goldsmith, the whole package just reeks of ass. The plot is stupid, the characters are a joke, the script seems to think that we already have all the info we'd need to make sense of things... but we don't (why's that city in the water?) and it's just plain hokey. The Director's Cut is marginally better, and slows down the theatrical cut's frenetic pace so we can breathe once in a while, but it still sucks. It's entertaining, but not in a good way.
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| 38 |
What do you get when you try to ramake Commando with a wrestler as your main star? The Marine, that's what. While it's not completely awful, it's full of so many stupid moments of cheese that I can't recommend it. Every time something explodes it's shown is super slo-mo with an actor superimposed on top of it either being thrown from the blast or walking away from it unharmed. In fact... John Cena for the most part walks away with ony a couple of minor abrasions in the end after getting his ass pummelled for 90 minutes straight. He gets a fire extinguisher to the face at full speed and there's not one bruise to be found afterward. While it's dumb fun, it's just not that memorable or exciting. Some cool action, and Cena is a decent actor, but that's about it.
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| 39 |
This is creepy. It's plot mirrors the goings on in Korea right now and it's not ashamed to be making a statement about it. I admire the film in that regard, but everything else is crap. It tries too hard to be a serious drama like Thirteen Days and still have all the prerequisite action scenes too. What really bugged me about this flick is that it's shot entirely in that uber fast MTV style that really gets on my nerves. The entire thing is shot with a high shutter speed (think Gladiator's action scenes), ultra fast editing and high contrast color correction. It's like a 90 minute music video. I couldn't even tell what was going on during half of the gun battles due to this. Skip it. The original, which was bad in a good way, is far superior.
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| 40 |
Click
(2006, PG-13)
Meh. A pointless remake of It's a Wonderful Life. While it is pretty funny on occasion (the horny dog gags got me every time) it spirals toward a melodramtic climax that wants to be a genuine tear jerker, but doesn't succeed. The cop out ending sucked too. I'm not the biggest Adam Sandler fan (only Punch Drunk Love is tops in my book) and this didn't help to convert me.
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| 41 |
Now THIS is a horror movie! It's funny, creative and tons of gory fun! I really enjoyed the way the creators of the film toy with the viewer's expectations of the genre with the clever bio pages that pop up for each character telling you how long they're going to live once the hsit hits the fan, and then they slap you in the face later to keep you on your toes. It's a really enjoyable horror movie made by some truly talented people. Viva La Project Greenlight!
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| 42 |
Gorier than the first two, but the plot tries to tie up all the loose ends instead of telling an interesting and scary story. It has it's good moments, like what REALLY happened to Adam from the first film, as well as what happened to Det. Matthews, but the first 20 minutes drag and seem to be more about showing off some gruesome death scenes instead of continuing the story of Jigsaw and Amanda. The musical score is great (as always), the lighting this time around is fantastic and the cinematography is more confident when compared to part 2. The director learned a lot between movies and it shows, but it just lacks focus a lot of the time and if this is to be the last in the series it sure doesn't end like it is. The first is the best, this is in second and part 2 is last.
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| 43 |
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