Ninjas, Ninjas, Ninjas

Welcome to the world of Godfrey Ho's NINJA Empire... an empire that seems to be based in someone's front room with a couple of lampshades with NINJAS on them...

A world of non-stop fights, so random you'd think you were playing Final Fantasy VII...

A world of deadly crabs and even deadlier toy robots...

A world of cunning kidnaps and even more cunning escapes...

A world of toploading video recorders and exploding NINJAS...

All of the above is laughably dubbed by actors so poor they'd fail to get work on Hollyoaks and set to a strident yet funky soundtrack.

Please don't take any of this to be a bad thing - I probably haven't laughed so much at a film in ages. If you're prepared to go with it, this movie, powered by some kind of demented energy, will be thoroughly entertaining - it clocks in at a thoughtful 85 minutes too so it doesn't outstay its welcome. Forget conventional ratings, this movie gets a solid three NINJA stars.

ps several watermelons were harmed during the making of this film.

pps actually it was probably just the one watermelon, they just stuck the footage into the film more than once.

Very disappointing due to the distinct lack of Ninjary action, which with a title like this ought to be at the heart of the story surely? What you actually get is a badly filmed and acted, uninspiring rival gangsters film with tacked on Ninja bits. It's almost as if Uncle Godfrey has spliced in Ninja footage from elsewhere into said gangster film - no, say it isn't true! This earns it's star from the guy playing Paul, the evil Ninja and gang boss - he's a hilariously terrible Brian May haired cockerney. That and the fact that there's a female character in it called Fanny, which made the part of me that's still a chortling 13 year old boy smirk every time her name was mentioned. This film fails miserably to live up to the dizzying heights of Ninja Terminator, let's hope for better from the remaining four.

Nice animation for once backed up with a well-written and interesting storyline. Definitely one of the better animes I've seen.

An entertaining comic book romp with a nice feel-good storyline about the importance of family. The animation's good and it's fully half a star better than my best hopes for it were beforehand.

A cameo from Vanilla Ice would have been nice though. "Vanilla who?", you say? *sigh* I'm getting too old for this shit...