Remakes That Are Actually Worth Watching

DeNiro and Pacino together in one the the best heist movies ever made. Intelligent script, fascinating characters, and surely one of the best gun battles committed to celluloid

A lot of films that are considered "classic" are viewed because you feel you ought to rather than because you want to, and the result can be disappointment. The Maltese Falcon is an all-time classic that not only deserves to be seen, but demands it. Bogart's cynical anti-hero was far from the square-jawed do-gooder that was the staple of the crime story of the time, and Huston's own adaptation of Hammet's novel has barbed dialogue zinging off every character like a hail of ricocheting bullets. Some examples of this type of film can be too convoluted for their own good, but the comparatively straightforward plot of The Maltese Falcon makes it the perfect entry point for anyone interested in Film Noir, and what you'll find is a wealth of taut, witty dialogue, timeless characters and one of the best detective movies ever made that arguably was the starting point for an entire genre. And to think... this was John Huston's first film! Remarkable.

A scientific research station in the Antarctic is seemingly attacked by researchers from a nearby settlement, but things are not quite as they seem...The Thing is one of the rarest of all breeds. A cinematic remake that is actually BETTER than the original. Easily John Carpenter's finest moment, he cranks up the suspense mercilessly as the small group of characters are cut off from the outside world, using plot elements from both the original The Thing From Another World and Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. Clearly influenced by Alien, and clearly influencing Aliens, the sense of paranoia is palpable as no-one knows who they can trust, and Carpenter skilfully and subtly misdirects you as to who is infected rather than using the usual clunky and ham fisted red herrings that are the staple of the genre. The ensemble cast of paranoid burn outs are all great, especially Wilford Brimley as the only one to understand the true implications of their situation and even the dog puts in a convincing performance (I know how that sounds but watch it and you'll see what I mean!) Featuring another magnificent score by Ennio Moriccone, some wonderful fire and ice coloured cinematography and brilliant animatronic effects that hark from the days before the glorified cartoons that are CGI, this is one of my absolute Halloween favourites.

Remakes are invariably a terrible idea, but this one hits the mark perfectly. Superior in some ways to the original

Terrence Malick's artful WWII movie actually feels more like a Vietnam film because of the jungle locations, and combined with voice-overs and a moving score it is very reminiscent of Platoon. It is rather more subtle than Stone's film though, Malick choosing to contrast the ugliness of conflict with the timeless beauty of nature and simplicity of the life of indigenous tribes who have not adopted the concepts of nation and politics. The battle sequences themselves show war not as glorious, but chaotic and terrifying, and acts of bravery are just as likely to be moments of madness as conscious decisions to be heroic. The sprawling cast packed with star names are uniformly excellent, and the characters well-written and 3 dimensional, from Elias Koteas' captain who feels such an attachment to his men, he is unwilling to risk their lives, to Nick Nolte who sees them as nothing more than a resource; pawns on a chessboard to be used to achieve his own personal glory. The film is slow moving, but in a thoughtful rather than dull way, and the sumptuous visuals are complimented by a wonderful score; a deeply affecting and beautiful, beautiful film.

Based on a story by Akira Kurosawa, starring Yul Brinner, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, James Coburn, Robert Vaughn and Eli Wallach, directed by John (The Gunfight At The OK Corral/The Great Escape) Sturges and accompanied by one of the best musical scores ever written, and you have the ingredients for possibly the perfect old school western. Poor old Brad Dexter didn't stand much of a chance up against an ensemble cast of this quality, but he makes a decent fist of a character who is essentially an amalgam of two characters from Seven Samurai, which makes way for Vaughn's gunslinger who has lost his nerve and slots seamlessly into the action. It does take a more popular culture slant on the original's more arthouse sensibilities, but it works perfectly. Brinner and McQueen make a brilliant double act and it even adds a more upbeat ending without failing to retain the spirit of the source material. One of the very few examples of a remake that is almost as worthwhile as the original.

A wandering blind masseur with unsurpassed skills as a swordsman finds himself allied with a quirky collection of misfits against a ruthless criminal gang, including a brother and sister impersonating a pair of geishas and an unlucky would-be gambler. I'm a big fan of Beat Takeshi, and I love samurai movies so I was never going to dislike this film. It's my first non-gangster piece from him and I have to say, it's got to be my favourite; the great cast of likeable oddballs feel like real people rather than resorting to the kind of contrived wackiness of many indie style films, and it has a mix of ingredients such as a wide streak of gentle humour and even a musical tap number(!) that just don't sound like they'd fit in with a samurai film, but somehow it works! The explosions of artful violence are beautifully done, with an inventive use of CGI to represent the gushing blood that looks like splashes of vibrant red paint against the subdued tones of Beat Takeshi's cinematic canvas. An inventive and beautiful looking samurai film that is a worthy successor to the heritage of Akira Kurosawa.

Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon are two cops; one is honest and taking part in appalling crimes while working undercover, the other corrupt acting under the facade of respectability. Soon it becomes necessary for them to discover each other's identity in a cat and mouse game against the clock. Scorsese's pedigree as a director shines through as this is far from the usual clunky Hollywood remake we've all come to revile. In fact, the spirit of the original is so apparent that it feels far more like the kind of Asian cinema influenced picture you'd expect from Tarantino than a Scorsese, and for that reason, anyone expecting the kind of intensity and provocativeness of Goodfellas or Taxi Driver may be disappointed. The cast are uniformly solid (although the kind of heavyweight performance you'd expect from a DeNiro is glaringly absent) and it's perfectly paced, never dragging for a minute of it's not inconsiderable length. The bleak tone, constant foul language and brutally realistic violence may offend those with delicate sensibilities, but it's hugely entertaining and although the screenwriter cheated a little by including character and plot elements from all three Infernal Affairs films, it surpasses the film it was based upon.

As great a mainstream director Sam Raimi has become, I still long for the time when he made movies like this one. Hilarious, scary and gross, it reinvented modern horror

Yet another inventive fantasy from Terry Gilliam, 12 Monkeys is the story of a prisoner in the future who volunteers to go back in time and gather information on a plague that wiped out the human race originating in modern day Philadelphia. Although Brad Pitt's interpretation of insanity is a little too affected, Bruce Willis gives easily one of his best performances as the man out of time, tortured by the burden of the knowledge of the deaths of 5 billion people he seems completely unable to prevent and fearing for his sanity. Madeleine Stowe displays her usual appealing combination of beauty and vulnerability and the future scenes show off some more excellent production design born of Gilliam's fantastic imagination. The story penned by one of the co-writers of Blade Runner is an intriguing time paradox based on short film La Jetee and although it lacks much of the ex-Python's trademark satirical humour, it still ranks amongst his best.

The introduction of the iconic man with no name saw Clint Eastwood catapulted to international stardom in this remake of Akira Kurosawa's masterpiece Yojimbo. Of course there's a certain irony in the fact that an Italian remake of a Japanese film shot in Spain would be the birth of the modern western, but the elements combine to fit the setting of the old west perfectly. The script has taken rather a trim in comparison, this film concentrating on machismo and gunplay rather than the more artful and character driven original; the result is that Eastwood's gunslinger comes across as more of a cynical operator than Mifune's aimless but moralistic samurai, and the build up has a brisk, almost rushed feel about it. But this film is all about the showdown at the end which, combined with Morricone's unforgettable score, is classic Leone.

Antonio Banderas takes up the mantle of the wandering mariachi hunting the drug dealer who murdered the woman he loved and ruined his life. Although Desperado continues from where El Mariachi left off, it's more a bigger budget re-invention of the original than a true sequel, in a similar vein to Evil Dead II. With more resources at his disposal, Rodriguez fulfills all the potential of the idea, with some fantastic John Woo influenced action sequences which have a kind of ultra violent dance choreography and employs his now familiar ensemble cast including Cheech Marin, Quentina Tarantino, Steve Buscemi and Danny Trejo. Banderas has never been cooler, Salma Hayek never more gorgeous, and it's a sexy, stylish and hugely entertaining left-field shoot-'em up with just the right amount of tongue in cheek humour. Still my favourite Robert Rodriguez film.

His Girl Friday features one of the great screwball partnerships of all time as Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell bicker and swap wisecracks faster than a pair of Grouchos on amphetamines. Russell is a wonderfully independent female lead, giving as good as she gets from Grant's hilariously immoral and hustling newspaper editor. Beneath the fast paced laughs there is also plenty of black comedy and social satire to be had, poking fun at the media's attitude to what is "newsworthy", political corruption and a veiled commentary on the validity of the death penalty. Which all may go relatively unnoticed as you'll probably find yourself laughing too hard! Classic comedy.

Fantastic interpretation by one of the most inventive directors around. Johnny Depp is superb as always and it revives the socialist allegory that was missing from the original version.

The finest adaptation of Cyrano, Depardieu is the perfect casting choice. Faithful to the source material, a great sense of period, and Gerard obviously relishes the role, creating a believable portrait of a bearish brute with the soul of a poet.

This kind of comedy of manners is the kind of thing that would be made as a vehicle for Adam Sandler these days, and would therefore be mindless, hateful, junk. But starring the likes of Carole Lombard and William Powell, and sporting the kind of witty and insightful screwball script they just don't write any more, it's a joy.

Another film to out-Bond Bond himself, it reminded me a little of a watered down Ronin

Remakes are invariably a bad idea, and remaking a classic doubly so. In fact the only reason I even bothered with this was the fact that Peter Jackson was at the helm, and I have to say, he did not disappoint. Sticking closely to the original story, this felt more like an affectionate and knowing update than anything else, even taking time out to mock some of the more dubious gender and racial politics of the original. As a whole, it has elements of Jurassic Park, Indiana Jones and even Titanic, and Jackson handles all these ingredients with consummate skill, creating a fantastically entertaining old school matinee style romantic adventure. I also have to say the unspoken relationship of a girl and her CG ape has far more pathos than a hundred Hugh Grant movies. My only bone of contention was it's sheer length; when will directors ever learn that "longer" is not the same as "better". If their car broke down and the AA man turned up saying "I could fix it in 90 minutes, but I'm going to spend 3 hours on it, because I'm an artist" would they be impressed...? I rather doubt it.

Largely under-rated adaptation of Shakespeare's play that chooses to use the cinematic media to great effect to breathe gritty, believable life into the story rather than sticking to it's stage roots as Olivier's version did. A superb cast of seasoned Shakespearians and some brutal Excalibur-esque battle scenes make this a memorable debut.

This quality remake trades in political allegory for outright horror, and does a very good job. The sense of paranoia and unseen menace is palpable, and it has one of the scariest endings ever. Considering the inclusion of cameo from Kevin McCarthy of the original movie and the relocation to NYC, it could be argued that this is more of an unofficial sequel than a remake.

Psychiatrist George Clooney is sent to investigate the strange happenings on a space station orbiting the mysterious planet Solaris where the crew have been encountering "visitors" from their past. I have not seen Tarkovsky's original so I can be completely objective about this beautiful looking and thoughtful sci-fi. Those expecting thrills and spills will be disappointed; the film is deliberately slow paced and philosophical The handsome pairing of Clooney and McElhone put in solid performances in a film that's more concerned with love and loss than aliens and ray guns. Soderbergh's visuals are top notch with some lovely effects complimented by a wonderfully atmospheric soundtrack, creating a very ethereal and other-worldy quality. I must admit, I'm not entirely sure what it is the film was trying to say exactly, but the journey is stylish and captivating. Fans of 2046 should give it a try; they might be pleasantly surprised.

Manipulative aristocrats John Malkovich and Glenn Close engage in sexual conquest and gender warfare beneath the outward formality and respectability of 18th century France. Valmont was the part that propelled Malkovich into the big leagues and is the part he was born to play. He treads the line perfectly between caddishness and charm as he seduces and beds every woman he encounters for the thrill of the chase, and shows great skill and subtlety in making such a despicable and morally weak character sympathetic toward the end of the film. All the best scenes are of course concerned with the verbal sparring between Valmont and the bitter and calculating Marquise played with equal skill by Close, but Michelle Pfeiffer's sensitive performance and porcelain beauty also paint a believable picture of a woman who would melt the heart of even such a cold-hearted Casanova. The direction is a little flat belying its roots as a stage play and the cinematography a little drab by today's standards, but the witty and perceptive script and excellent performances by the three leads make it well worth a look even for those not enamoured by period drama.

Actually better than the contemporary Bond films, this has action and humour in equal quantities. Watching Jamie Lee Curtis being "sexy" made my skin crawl, though...

The story is very familiar as this is a virtual remake of Rio Bravo (and much of it is lifted to glorious effect in Blazing Saddles!), but much more laid back and humorous. Wayne and Mitchum play off each other well, and James Caan makes a very likeable sidekick.

3:10 To Yuma is a remake of the 1957 Glenn Ford western in which an honest rancher injured in the civil war takes on the job of escorting a notorious outlaw to the prison train in order to save his family's ranch from the railroad. This film really does retain the spirit of the original as it has a real old-fashioned feel to it. The direction is glossy rather than gritty, and the story of two contrasting personalities learning mutual respect under adverse circumstances is hardly a new one. But Bale and Crowe put in a couple of great performances, bolstering the rather workmanlike themes; Bale's down at heel working man trying to find some self respect and Crowe's educated and charming but ruthless outlaw spark off some really good chemistry, particularly during the great showdown finale. It probably won't win over anybody who does not like traditional westerns, but it's a very well executed and enjoyable tale for those who do.

Shockingly, I actually haven't seen the original, so I can be unbiased. Apart from the fact I don't like horror films much, for the following reason:
A group of absurdly attractive teens find themselves in a secluded spot. There are a few pre-scares, involving one of them shouting "Boo!"/the lights going out/pigeons/a cat. Some slasher/monster appears, starts picking them off, and they run around screaming until one is left. There's some lame back story about child abuse or something to give a pop psychology excuse for the carnage. She (usually) fights back and dispatches the baddie. He comes back to life, and she kills him again. For good. Or is it...?
This is the plot to 99% of all horror films, and 99% of them are pure shite. But this one actually works, because it does not for the most part follow this formula (apart from the "absurdly attractive" part...the undeniably stunning Jessica Biel spends half the movie looking like a refugee from a blood spattered wet T-shirt competition.) There is no excuse for Leatherface's actions. This is his normality as part of THE most dysfunctional family you will ever see. The horror comes in the fact there IS no reasoning, just the fact that all of the social conventions and laws that kept them safe are stripped away, leaving them completely without control over what happens to them. It's never "scary", but I did feel on edge and uncomfortable throughout. And surely, that's what a horror film is all about...?

I'd been avoiding this one, despite the highly promising combination of Pacino and Nolan mainly because of the highly unpromising presence of Robin Williams. This kind of gimmicky casting can occasionally pay dividends, but usually backfires disastrously. Here, thankfully, Williams acquits himself adequately and fails to wreck the film. It unsurprisingly belongs lock, stock and barrel to Pacino who is as strong as always, giving a very human portrayal of a good cop with frailties forced into an unwanted and unwilling alliance with the murder suspect he is pursuing. For me, more could've been made of the psychological and hallucinatory effects of sleep deprivation and it lacks any of the plot twists we've come to expect these days, but it is a solid and well crafted thriller.

Caine and Martin demonstrate a great comic partnership in an enjoyable, witty farce in the tradition of Ealing Studios.

This extremely grim but atmospheric pseudo-noir is a straight remake of Yojimbo, exchanging tommy guns for swords. Willis is stone faced throughout, and therefore not the most likeable protagonist, but it's a classic story, efficiently handled.

I've never been able to shake the feeling that I'd done this star-studded caper movie a disservice when I first watched it, and as I watched Clooney and Pitt's great buddy partnership sparkle through the witty and stylish planning of their casino heist, I was convinced I was right. And then Julia Roberts hoved into view. It's not that she's completely dreadful, but she managed to muster absolutely zero chemistry, which considering she was paired with Mr. Sauve himself, is quite an achievement. The execution of the heist is also lacking the humour of the earlier part of the film and so looks like something out of Mission: Impossible. Add the niggles of Andy Garcia's characterless villain and Don Cheadle's painful mockney accent and I think 3 stars was fair after all. But it is an entertaining film, executed with panache, and worth the time for David Holmes' soundtrack alone. And it's a damn sight better than the original, and there aren't many remakes you can say that about...

Charlton Heston stars in this classic historical epic as a jewish prince betrayed and condemned to death by a Roman tribune. It's one of his defining performances and he charismatically heads a great supporting cast in a well written if overlong tale of revenge and redemption. It takes a little too long to get going, and the subplot involving his mother and sister is melodramatic nonsense, but when Chuck is on the warpath it's great, and the chariot race is a scene every movie lover should see. Not as good as Spartacus, but still one of the best examples of the genre.

Some films sum up the time in which they were made perfectly, often regardless of their quality. Brando's The Wild One is one, Easy Rider is another. Brian De Palma's Scarface is the epitome of the 80s; a tale of the single-minded and ruthless pursuit of wealth and possessions leading to emptiness and ultimate self-destruction in a sea of tacky excess, all set to a truly HORRENDOUS soundtrack. And by the same measure, of course, it is also very dated. It's easy to see why Pacino's Tony Montana became such an icon, but it truly is a one man show; the direction is clumsy and unsophisticated and the peripheral characters and their relationships secondary and superficial at best. But Pacino really is something to behold. Like the previously mentioned films, it's certainly worth seeing once (largely for the sake of curiosity) but it certainly is not the cinematic masterpiece many make it out to be.

A police station with a skeleton staff that is about to be decommissioned plays unexpected host to a notorious gangster, and suddenly finds itself under seige. This remake of John Carpenter's classic is unsurprisingly not a patch on the original, but still an efficient (albeit humourless) shoot-em-up. Ethan Hawke does well with his stereotypical burnt out cop character and Fishburne is as charismatic as always; it's also nice to see female characters that are not screeching and hysterical damsels in distress. Atmospheric and nicely shot, but the tension and menace of an unseen, anonymous and largely motiveless enemy is replaced by weak characterisation and some nonsense about corrupt cops. A pretty good actioner that's let down only by a morally suspect ending and the typical insistence on casting a rapper in a supporting role instead of a real actor.

An entertaining remake of an old horror classic that retains a modicom of the hokey charm of the original. Famke Janssen and Geoffery Rush's snidey banter is great fun and there are some nice images and decent suspense in the build up. But, of course, it buggers it up by resorting to the usual crap CGI monster at the end . Not bad though.

An ex racing car driver is framed for the murder of his wife to impersonate the dead star of a gladiatorial game show of the near future. His name was Frankenstein, which is ironic, because this is a cinematic pick'n'mix of many cult sci-fi movies. It has the story of The Running Man with shades of Mean Machine, the themes of Rollerball, the environment of Escape From New York and the style and action of Mad Max. Original, it most certainly ain't. It has the usual trappings of the modern action movie, namely characters who are the inevitable mix of gang banger stereotypes and hotties and it's over directed in the way that has been de rigeur over the past few years, all set to an appalling pop music soundtrack. As a whole, it's like watching a videogame adaptation of a game that doesn't exist. But what a bloody cool videogame it is! The dialogue and characters are shall we say "functional", but it never descends too far into depressing macho porn and leaves plenty of room for the action scenes; in this film the cars are most definitely the stars! The races are thrillingly staged, and are clearly intended as the centrepiece of the film in a similar way to Mad Max 2. It's a shame they had to water down Statham's character by making him an innocent family man, because let's face it, Max and Snake Plissken were so cool precisely BECAUSE they were utter bastards. It may be low brow, but entertaining it truly is, and is one of the few action films I've seen in recent years that actually lives up to its trailer.