Sequels: The Good, The Bad and the Dreadful

Ripley is awakened from stasis to find she has been gone for 57 years and being made a scapegoat for the loss of her ship. Until that is contact is lost with the colony on LV 426 when she is enlisted as an adviser to a combat unit sent to investigate. The vast majority of sequels are of course just cynical attempts to cash in on the popularity of the original film and rarely have much in the way of cinematic merit in their own right. Aliens is one of the few that not only expanded on the idea of the original but took it in a whole new direction. The production design is superb and every sci-fi movie made since that features military hardware gets its cues from here, and it still looks brilliant. The ensemble cast are all excellent, especially Sigourney Weaver who is far from the usual gung ho bonehead with a gun you find in most action movies. She is a believable character traumatized by her experiences of the first film, unwillingly facing her fears. The soldiers are also three dimensional characters, especially Bill Paxton's smart alec who loses his nerve and their camaraderie and funny banter make you care what happens to them. Other well written characters include "artificial person" Lance Henriksen whose cold fascination for the creatures echoes Ash from the first film and Paul Reiser's obsequious company man, each of whom seem to have agenda of their own. The first half of the film is an atmospheric and cleverly written set up for the second half, which can best be described as a white knuckle rollercoaster ride of breathless suspense and excitement. Their first encounter with the aliens is one of the all time great action sequences and the later scene when they await the second onslaught huddled in a darkened room listening to the sound of the motion detector is utterly gripping. Not to mention Ripley's first sight of the alien queen and their subsequent classic showdown. For me, this is an all but perfect film, and the best sequel ever made.

THE zombie movie. The briiliant concept and superbly handled aura of paranoia and suspense more than make up for weaknesses in the effects and acting department

"The man with no name" returns in this sequel to A Fistful of dollars in which he forms an uneasy alliance with another bounty hunter to kill the head of an outlaw gang while they hatch a scheme to rob the most heavily guarded bank in the territory. For A Few Dollars More is not considered the best of the series by many, but I personally prefer it to the (damn good) original at least. It feels far more like a true Leone film, is better paced and boasts not one but three commanding presences in the form of Clint, Lee Van Cleef's steely eyed and clinical assassin, and Gian Maria Volonte's sinister bandit. The interplay between the three is fantastic and there are many classic Leone moments including his trademark framing of weathered, characterful faces against epic landscapes. There is more depth to the story as the heist and undercover elements involve layers of deceit and betrayal leading to an extremely atmospheric finale. Add to that Ennio Morricone's score which is once again wonderfully memorable and you have all the ingredients for an all time classic western.

The final part of the man with no name trilogy sees Clint competing with his erstwhile partner and a coldly vicious mercenary for some buried stolen loot. The remarkable thing about Leone's series is the fact that even the best film trilogies (ie The Godfather, the original Star Wars et al) good as they were, never quite captured the magic of the original. Leone's however began brilliantly, and just kept getting better. The trio are introduced in highly effective opening scenes once again, often using only eye contact and body language to convey their personalities; it's actually 10 full minutes into the film before a single syllable is uttered. Leone continues the theme of the old west as an environment of "every man for himself" as the characters are constantly backstabbing and lying to each other, even "the good" is an immoral con man who betrays his partner as soon as it is convenient (but I guess "The bad, the bad and the bad" didn't have the same ring to it!) All of this is set to a backdrop of the American Civil war which is treated in a way that has far more in common with Apocalypse Now than John Ford. The scene in which a drunken Union captain prays for the destruction of a vital bridge to end the carnage is particularly memorable. But it is Eli Wallach's Tuco that virtually steals the film out from under Clint; his immoral and cowardly double crosser brings a lot of humour to the film and was surely a big influence on Johnny Depp whilst creating the character of Captain Jack. My only gripe is that Morricone's otherwise excellent score gets a little sappy in the middle, but that's really just a matter of taste. A clear contender for the best western ever made.

Being a bit of a latecomer when it comes to The Dark Knight, this film was always going to be about the hype. It's a tall order to live up to the expectation generated by the most anticipated film of the year directed by one of my favourite directors containing a performance lauded over by all and sundry.
Basically, it had a HELL of a lot to live up to. And no, it did not disappoint. Much. I loved Batman Begins, particularly its examination of the psychology of Bruce Wayne/Batman. Unfortunately this is pretty much absent from The Dark Knight; it's The Joker's show all the way, and Ledger tiptoes the line between playfulness and psychosis perfectly. His character is obviously designed to strike a cord with western audiences as a villain with no agenda, fear of death or capture, no objective other than chaos is clearly the ultimate "terrorist". I just wish there had been more dialogue between he and Bale, rather than The Joker making observations while Batman wordlessly pounded on him. But absolutely every other aspect of the film is pretty much flawless; the action, the effects, the performances, all spot on. The script is brilliantly written and I was glad to see it didn't follow the usual pattern of "we're all super-baddies so let's all join up to fight the hero", instead Two Face being a far more believable by-product of The Joker's manipulations. I still prefer the stylistic approach of Sin City, but it's still easily one of the best superhero films ever made.
On second viewing, I watched it right after Batman Begins and they fit together seamlessly to the point they could easily be seen as one complete story. This rectifies all the problems I had with it on the characterisation front. My one gripe is with the flag waving speech Gary Oldman makes right at the end that left me a little cold, but otherwise it's pretty much perfect.

The second part of the ONLY Star Wars trilogy cannot match the original for sheer entertainment, but is a rather more sophisticated story with the more adult themes of torture, betrayal and self sacrifice. Han and Leia's "will they/won't they?" romance blossoms, Luke matures from fresh faced idealist into fledgling Jedi and most importantly of all, Darth Vader, surely the greatest movie villain ever, takes his rightful place centre stage (the fact that one of the great cinematic revelations is spoiled forever is yet another reason to hate those wretched prequels). The darker tone is highlighted by the fact that the good guys are roundly beaten on all fronts in a daring move that definitely had the desired effect; I literally could not wait find out how the story would continue. Add improved special effects, immaculate production design and a typically superb score from John Williams and you have one of the best examples of "family entertainment" ever made. George didn't even manage to ruin the updated version, mainly because he resisted the temptation to screw with it; just spruce up the visuals and add 5.1 surround sound. Cinematic magic.

The third installment of the Indiana Jones story sees Dr. Jones in search of his father who disappeared while searching for the Holy Grail. Spielberg obviously learned from his mistakes of the previous film, and recaptures the spirit of the original. The film opens with a fun comic strip origin story featuring River Phoenix and once again religious myth, which is so ingrained in the popular consciousness it rarely fails to engage the necessary sense of wonder, forms the premise of the story. He replaces the irritating sidekicks with affable buffoons Marcus Brody and Sallah who return from the first film and Alison Doody spends her 15 minutes of fame as a kind of glamorous 30s Bond girl. But most importantly of all we get to meet Henry Jones Sr. Sean Connery was an inspired casting choice and Ford and Connery's brilliant father-son bickering is hilarious, especially during the best section of the film as Indiana rescues his dad from the clutches of the evil Nazis, the natural enemies of our heroes. It suffers for separating the Jones boys during the final act but otherwise, Spielberg once again proves he is a master when it comes to popular entertainment.

The second part of the story is rather less action-orientated, and has the feel of film noir cum spaghetti western rather than the out and out chop socky action of volume one, but at the end of the day
they are not really meant to be seen apart. Here we see more of the back story as Beatrix brings her quest for vengeance to it's bloody conclusion. I can easily watch both of these films in one sitting and still come back for more, while so many of the worthy but oh-so-dull film "classics" that pompous and self important film crtitcs consider to be so superior bore me to tears within half an hour. A film for fellow film lovers everywhere made with an understanding of and appreciation for cult film that is unsurpassed.

As great a mainstream director Sam Raimi has become, I still long for the time when he made movies like this one. Hilarious, scary and gross, it reinvented modern horror

Woo ditches the cheese that tainted the original and concentrates on the most intense action you are likely to see. Probably the highest body count too!

What were the rebel alliance thinking? To any military strategist with half a brain, the obvious way to defeat the Empire's finest shock stormtroopers is to deploy a tribe of furry midgets armed with sticks...it's so simple when you think about it! Well we all know what went wrong with this one, and it's probably where the rot started to set in. The most annoying thing is that the original concept was to have a tribe of tree dwelling Wookiees cracking stormtrooper skulls...how cool would that have been?! Despite the obvious drawback of those fuzzy annoyances, it's still proper Star Wars, with the characters we love in their last ditch battle against the Empire. The attack on the Death Star is beautifully choreographed and thrilling, and Luke's final showdown with Vader was everything we hoped for. The DVD update contains more unnecessary CGI, including a musical number in Jabba's palace that's straight out of The Muppet Show (even the Sarlacc has been turned into Audrey II from The Little Shop Of Horrors) a pan-pipe debacle that's even cheesier than the original final Ewok song, and Hayden Christian's gormless pouty face pasted over Anakin at the end. Again, stick to the theatrical version. The weakest of the originals, but still infinitely better than the prequels.

It's difficult for me to think of this as a sequel per se. It's a true and natural continuation of the original and one of the best films ever made in it's own right. The way the story flits between the story of Vito's humble beginnings when Sonny, Fredo and Michael were infants and compares and contrasts where their lives have brought them is magnificent, the relationship between Fredo and Michael being particularly poignant. We see how Vito used violence to settle scores and remove the opposition, where an increasingly cold and hard Michael uses it as matter of factly as a business tool, even on his own friends and family. Coppolla's uses of light breaks with tradition, choosing to contrast the outside world with the Corleone's dark underworld which is constantly steeped in blackest shadow. This is one of Pacino's best performances, complimented perfectly by Duvall, DeNiro (who makes a very believable young Vito) and Cazale. Complex, sophisticated, and more an experience than mere entertainment.

Mad Max 2 is one of that rarest of breeds; a sequel that actually surpasses the original. Like Desperado and Evil Dead 2, it is a big budget reinvention of the previous film rather than a true sequel per se. Mad Max was a powerful if flawed film that never quite lived up to the promise of its explosive action sequences. Once again, the film opens with an exhilarating hi-octane chase as Gibson's post apocalyptic man with no name stumbles upon an oasis of civilization under siege from a group of road predators. The film almost resembles a zombie film, except in this future where gasoline and ammunition are worth more than human life, the human race are being preyed upon not by undead monsters, but other human beings. The Australian outback makes a beautiful but believably desolate future wasteland and Gibson revisiting the part that made him a star has never equalled the grit and charisma of his performance here. The peripheral characters don't get much of a look in and the dialogue is suitably minimal, setting the stage for the true star of the show; the action. The brilliant production design which creates a similarly believable patchwork of scavenged technology became the blueprint for post apocalyptic science fiction; every sci fi film that followed copied it. The fantastic stunt and road level camera work makes for some visceral chase sequences in which vehicles and their occupants are smashed, crushed and sent pirouetting through the air with a sense of real time physics; there are no glossy Hollywood style slow motion pyrotechnics here; just an orgy of automotive destruction! A worthy addition to the tradition of Yojimbo and A Fist Full Of Dollars with a science fiction spin.

Antonio Banderas takes up the mantle of the wandering mariachi hunting the drug dealer who murdered the woman he loved and ruined his life. Although Desperado continues from where El Mariachi left off, it's more a bigger budget re-invention of the original than a true sequel, in a similar vein to Evil Dead II. With more resources at his disposal, Rodriguez fulfills all the potential of the idea, with some fantastic John Woo influenced action sequences which have a kind of ultra violent dance choreography and employs his now familiar ensemble cast including Cheech Marin, Quentina Tarantino, Steve Buscemi and Danny Trejo. Banderas has never been cooler, Salma Hayek never more gorgeous, and it's a sexy, stylish and hugely entertaining left-field shoot-'em up with just the right amount of tongue in cheek humour. Still my favourite Robert Rodriguez film.

Along with Aliens, James Cameron has been responsible for two of the most inventive sequels around. This follow up to his own sci-fi classic The Terminator sees another sent back through time to protect John Connor in childhood from a shapeshifting assassin bent on preventing him from leading the human race to salvation. It puts an interesting spin on the original concept, essentially switching the roles of Arnie and Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton turning in easily the best performance); he becomes the nurturing parental figure, she the emotionless, singleminded terminator who only regains her humanity when shown the human face of her target. Throw in a nice time paradox, some excellent set pieces and groundbreaking effects and you have a great cocktail for breathless action sci-fi. I would have preferred to see more of the T-1000, menacingly played by Robert Patrick, and less of the sentiment and forced humour resulting from the father-son bond of the boy and his cyborg but the iffy soundtrack aside, it has dated rather well.

Excellent sequel to the slapstick original with an all star cast and much darker tone than the original. If you like Oliver Reed in Gladiator, you'll love him in this.

The final installment in the Infernal Affairs trilogy takes place right after the events of the the original, as well as introducing two new characters and their roles leading up to and during those events. Add Andy Lau's deteriorating mental state to the constantly shifting time line, and it's hardly the most accessible story you are ever going to see, but those willing and able to make the effort will not regret it. It has the same beautiful photography and intelligent script and the psychological spin almost makes it a kind of high brow version of Face/Off. All the leading players are excellent, and the romance between Tony Leung Chiu Wai and Kelly Chen which was appropriated for the script of The Departed is rather more charming and believable in it's original form. For me, better than the second part and a fine finale to the series.

The best of the Police Story movies, and possibly my favourite Jackie Chan. A bit grittier and less humourous than the others, with some truly spectacular stunts. And the magnificent Michelle Yeoh.

I actually liked this one. Shifting the action to the "real" world means less reliance on endless stop motion fight sequences and freshened things up again. If they'd only trimmed the superfluous flab off the story and made it two films instead of three, I think a worthy sequel would have emerged.

200 years after the death of Ellen Ripley she is cloned by yet more misguided scientists in order to breed the species for their research on board a military vessel. Alien 3 tried to follow the template of the first film with some flawed success and Alien Resurrection does the same for its sequel Aliens with similar results. The very contrived premise is one that you have to accept considering Ripley died at the end of the previous film but the whole alien hybrid concept is a little harder to swallow. Joss Whedon actually disowned the script after various studio rewrites but it does have some very nice moments; particularly the scene in which Ripley confronts "herself" and the idea of self aware androids consumed with self loathing. Jeunet also stamps his own brand of attractive visual invention on the proceedings and the effects are streets ahead of Alien 3's. The aliens also have a lot more character and the set pieces are executed with some real panache, especially the underwater pursuit that reminded me of a futuristic Poseidon Adventure! Unfortunately it falls down at the last hurdle with the afore-mentioned hybrid that's a slightly ridiculous idea and the creature itself looks rubbish. The journey there is very entertaining though and despite being the least inventive of the series it's still a creditable addition to the franchise. But inevitably, it's once again nowhere near as good as the first two.

More of the same mix of laughs and gore, this time set during the crusades. It's pretty much rehashing the plot and gags from ED 2, but with a Mad Max twist. Great fun.

When an alien presence causes the Sulaco to eject the cryo tube chamber, it crash lands on a obscure technologically backward all-male prison colony. The third alien film was not particularly well received at the time, most citing David Fincher's inexperience as a feature director as prime culprit. It does on occasion resemble his music video heritage, but it also has some of the very stylish and atmospheric visuals that would become his trademark. It's true it does not measure up to the earlier films, but not much does. It has some interesting ideas, namely the evolution of a different kind of alien according to its specific host, and the fact that it will not attack an organism hosting an embryo. Sigourney Weaver is as always a strong and human protagonist while there is solid support from Charles S. Dutton who dominates the screen whenever he appears, but the best supporting character is Charles Dance's medical officer. Unfortunately he is disposed of too quickly and the last half of the film suffers for the fact. The effects have also fared worst of all the Alien films because of the early use of CGI and some studio trimming has left some sequences feeling incomplete. The special edition rectifies this as the original plan to capture the alien makes a lot more sense and we see more of prisoner Golic, but the pacing is not as tight and it it loses the alien birth/cremation scene which is probably the best in the entire film. As a whole, taken on its own merits, it is a stylish and well made sci-fi horror with a Gothic spin that deserved a fairer shake than it got.

The second part of The Lord Of The Rings trilogy sees the fellowship part company. Frodo and Sam encounter Gollum, cleverly presented as a kind of wretched schizophrenic drug addict which makes for a much more interesting character dynamic than the "You're my best friend Sam! "I love you Mr. Frodo!" of the first film. Meanwhile Pippin and Merry escape their captors and persuade the forest dwelling Ent to join the fight in a rather ham-fisted eco analogy. And finally Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli whose camaraderie is developed find new allies in Rohan and rejoin Gandalf to defend the fortress of Helm's Deep in a quite spectacular and monumental battle sequence. Although The Two Towers is as long as The Fellowship Of The Ring, the intertwining story threads, all told in parallel complete with a liberal dose of action make for much better pacing. I still have a problem with stories reliant on magic because if characters can come back to life for no reason other than it's convenient to the plot or can just say "Abracadabra" and make danger, and therefore suspense, disappear makes for little in the way of narrative logic. I also felt that Saruman got far too little screen time which left a focal villain lacking, but in this film Jackson has made a fantasy film I not only endured, but enjoyed.

Frodo reaches Mordor where Gollum reveals his true colours while Gandalf and the fellowship prepare to defend Gondor against the full might of Sauron's armies. All the same strengths and weaknesses of the previous films are still in evidence for the final part of the trilogy. The hobbits are still mildly annoying (although at least in this one they finally grow a pair), the elves seem to serve no purpose other than to slow the film to a snail's pace and the narrative logic is once again questionable (namely flights of giant eagles and ghostly armies with a debt to the king of Gondor that appear at the nick of time that were never before mentioned). The villain also garner's too little screen time and is dispensed with far too easily. On the other hand, battle sequences on a never seen before scale that are truly thrilling, particularly the section involving giant elephants that reminded me of living AT-AT walkers, and Faramir's father brings a tragic pseudo-Shakespearian drama to the proceedings. It also has something the previous films could not; a satisfying conclusion to the story. It does outstay it's welcome for a good 20 minutes because 5 of the 6 (count 'em SIX!) epilogues are deeply unnecessary, but it's a fine finale to a ground-breaking trilogy.

AVP 2 continues directly from the ending of the first film, with an alien/predator hybrid causing the ship to crash land back on Earth. A second ship is dispatched containing a kind of space-age alien cross between a CSI and Batman to clear up the resulting mess. The first film was dumb but fun, but I have to say I did not have high hopes for this one. At first it seemed that my fears were going to be justified because the first act of the film resembled a teen slasher flick more than anything else, complete with semi-clad nubile teens, people being picked off one by one in dark corridors and the inevitable pre-scares and false alarms. However, once the aliens hit the surface things got a LOT better. It "borrows" ideas heavily from other sources, notably Dawn Of The Dead and especially Aliens; a couple of scenes are lifted directly from it and the kick-ass mom protecting her young daughter is an obvious copy of Ripley. But it does it WELL. Despite the fact that the film can look a little too dark making it difficult to tell what's going on in places, it does look great and the fight sequences are very well done. The small town stereotypes are a little underwritten, but the action makes up for it and it never shies away from the gory side of things giving it a distinctly horror style spin. The alien hybrid is also done far better than the one in Alien Resurrection. For once it seems that a sequel has learned form the mistakes of its predecessor, and the result is a very pleasant surprise.

Superior sequel that's nearly the equal of the original. I wouldn't expect anything wildly different though, and the racist south african villains border on cartoon characters.

John McClane is back in the filthy vest as he attempts to foil a bullion heist with the aid of Samuel L. Jackson. John McTiernan is back at the helm, and this feels much more like the original than the distinctly flaccid second film. It starts at breakneck speed and continues at that pace, as Willis is chased all over the city while trading wise cracks and jibes with Jackson, getting ever sillier as it goes. It is the turn of Jeremy Irons to display a motley collection of dubious accents as the Hollywood Euro-villain of the month and by the end logic has firmly taken a back seat as it settles into the usual action movie excesses. The female villain also seems a little redundant and there's maybe one double cross too many. Not that it really matters because nobody likes Die Hard for it's gritty reality. The buddy partnership works a treat, the jokes are funny and the set pieces exciting. A superior action film and quality sequel.

Not quite as good as the first, but a satisfying finale to the series, and much better than the second instalment.

The jokes never seem to stop in a sequel that improves on the original. Spoofing pretty much every spy movie from the sixties onwards, the time travel element throws open plenty more targets for Myers scattershot wit, but it's Dr. Evil that again steals the show.

A ruthless hotel owner cheats Reuben out of his share of the property and so the gang decide to extract retribution by ruining him and taking everything he's got. The Ocean's franchise, although better than the horribly self-indulgent original rat pack film, has never quite lived up to its potential. The first film started great but got rather mechanical and joyless for the second half. The second film started well but the second half was, well, garbage. Third time's the charm however, as the latest chapter is a big improvement over them both. The balance of comedy and action is maintained throughout the film at last, there's no Julia Roberts to be seen (yes!) and Pacino makes a much more charismatic villain than the inanimate Andy Garcia character. There's also plenty of comic asides from the Clooney/Pitt double act and Don Cheadle has finally tamed his still silly, but now bearable mockney accent. The plot twist is a little obvious, and a couple of the characters barely get a look in, but that's better than it being bloated and overlong. A stylish and sassy heist thriller, and the best of the series.

Robert Rodriguez once again tires to out-pulp his long term collaborator Quentin Tarantino in yet another remake of El Mariachi. He makes no bones as to his intentions, the opening credit proclaiming it "A Robert Rodriguez flick" rather than "film", and the result is a slickly entertaining but rather vacuous affair. Desperado had just the right mix of drama, humour and action but this sequel is rather lacking in the dramatic momentum that involves the audience. I think the problem is that Banderas' character is easily the least interesting of the ensemble cast; he does little more than mope around and shoot stuff in increasingly over the top set pieces to the point where it starts to feel like a hispanic Jackie Chan movie without the jokes. Far more interesting is Johnny Depp's amoral and smart-mouthed CIA agent, complete with tourist's wardrobe, fake arm and collection of comedy moustaches; I couldn't help thinking that it would've been a much better film if HE were the central character. But as it is, it's a fun slice of popcorn entertainment, and with Depp, Banderas, Salma Hayek (who is otherwise wasted) and Eva Mendes in the mix, there's plenty of eye candy for both sexes.

Like the later Alien films, this film suffers badly for comparison to the first two, but is still pretty decent entertainment. The self -referential jokes are a mistake, making it feel almost like a parody of itself, but the set-pieces are excellent (particularly the crane chase sequence) and the ending is actually quite clever. Kristanna Loken has none of the menace or charisma of Arnie or Patrick though.

The sequel to Infernal Affairs is actually more of a prequel, fleshing out the characters and events that led up to the time of the original. It's a beautifully made and intelligent gangster movie that reveals the various shades of grey within the characters. None can really be seen as totally "good" or "bad"; particularly involving Inspector Wong's manipulation of events that lead to unexpected consequences. My only beef is the fact that is felt more like a companion piece to the original than a self-contained story; I think anyone who watched this without having seen the original will struggle to see the significance of the events as they unfold here. It is also a little TOO clinical and detached, and as such lacks the gritty punch of the likes of Goodfellas or The Godfather. A fine film nonetheless.

On his travels, blind swordsman Zatoichi stumbles across a massacre and takes in a small boy who witnessed the event. When the killers come looking for him, Zatoichi and family friend Wang Kong or "the one-armed swordsman" pledge to defend the child at all costs. Although this installment in the long running franchise has a rather gimmicky premise, its combination of frenetic action scenes and an atmospheric historical setting makes for a good, solid samurai movie. Shintaro Katsu shifts from affable booze hound to intimidating bad ass with the greatest of ease; the scene when he rescues a local girl from the assassins is fantastic. Despite its attempt to ape the master, it's no Kurosawa as technical limitations mean a couple of scenes are so dark it's difficult to tell what's going on and the moral message at the end felt forced. But as a whole it's a very enjoyable blood & katana flick that won't disappoint fans of the genre.

Great sequel that's full of the same dumb humour combined with some knowing wit. William Sadler is brilliant as Death ("Best of 5!" "No wonder he never loses!") and they stumble from one increasingly ridiculous and funny situation to the next (including taking on the devil in hell "Our album covers totally lied to us!") Very funny.

This latest episode in Romero's Dead series is easily the most technically accomplished, but lacks the oppressive atmosphere and tension of the earlier films. It is however an entertaining sci-fi actioner that has more in common with Escape From New York than Night of the Living Dead.

A group of film students attempt to document the descent of society into chaos as the dead begin to rise again and feast on the living. I had a creeping dread of this film because I had the horrible feeling it would just be The Blair Zombie Project, particularly after witnessing the shapeless waste of an hour and a half that was Cloverfield, but the latest in George Romero's "dead" series actually works quite well. The use of multiple cameras intercut with faux internet footage and closed circuit TV gives rather more scope for dramatic momentum than the usual sole first person perspective and the mockumentary approach gives the film the kind of structure woefully lacking in Cloverfield. Unfortunately it still suffers from the unavoidable weakness of this sub-genre ie ropey acting and poor dialogue for the sake of "realism", despite the fact that somebody constantly filming while all these horrific events are happening to them is of course inherently unrealistic. But as a whole it's rather more intelligent than other offerings of this type, providing a little social commentary and sly digs at the media and the public's obsession with same. By far the best example of this kind of thing I've seen, and a worthy addition to the franchise.

Lew Harper returns to investigate a case of the blackmail of a wealthy southern woman and uncovers corruption and murder. As usual. The sequel to Harper is far less jokey in tone and is more of a straight noir style thriller. All the usual ingredients are here; smart mouthed detective, hard-nosed cops, promiscuous young girl, shadowy land baron and the inevitable mix of small time hoods and snitches. The plot is very similar to that of Chinatown (although lacking its subtlety) but it actually works rather better than its predecessor because of the lack of swinging sixties style gimmicks; it has dated rather better as a result. A decent detective story that lacks flash or even a hint of originality but is good, solid entertainment.

Carrying on directly from the first film, Beckinsale and Speedman are on the run from the first vampire, a virtually unkillable uber-vamp who wants to unleash his twin brother and uber-wolf on the world. Let's face it, the plot to this film is all a bit irrelevant really. It's all about flashy visuals and non-stop action to the point it resembles an albeit super-cool videogame. There's so much eye candy it made my teeth hurt (not the least of which is Ms Beckinsale herself of course) and the action is pretty much non-stop to the point where characters were introduced and immediately killed off again once they'd served their purpose. But I did like it's unpretentious, no-nonsense approach that lacked the self absorbed pomposity that ruined the first film and the action is far more entertaining and less overly stylised. It is of course just another Matrix rip-off but I actually enjoyed it rather more than I did Reloaded, as well as the original Underworld for that matter. Good fun if you're in the mood for some mindless action but it's still not as good as Blade or Blade 2. It's a lot better than Blade Trinity though...

Swashbuckling archaeologist Indiana Jones returns to investigate an evil cult in India who have kidnapped the local children to search for the sacred stones of Shankara. Temple Of Doom has long been considered the weak link of the original trilogy, mainly because of the ill conceived inclusion of two sidekicks. The romance with Kate Capshaw is unconvincing as she literally spends the entire film either screaming or whining, and adding a streetwise kid to the mix is always the kiss of death. This obviously calculated attempt to appeal to a younger audience is added to by some broadly over-played humour that is completely at odds with the dark tone of the rest of the film. In the unlikely event that kids want to see a film about child abduction, slavery and human sacrifice I doubt very much they'd want to see their hero drinking blood from a human head and turning into an evil devil worshipper. In fact, looking at it objectively, the plot is really just a series of excuses for self-indulgent set pieces and contains a few serious lapses in logic and some of the dialogue is just plain bad. But it's Indiana Jones, so I'm just not objective about it and the combination of Spielberg, Ford and Williams ensures that it is at least entertaining throughout. Despite the flak it has taken, The Crystal Skull is not the weakest of the franchise; that dubious honour falls to this film but that's not to say it's bad. Just a little crude and sloppy when compared to Raiders and The Last Crusade.

The (up until recently!) final chapter of the Romero zombie trilogy sees a research installation operating on the ragged edge in a world seemingly populated by nothing but zombies. Easily the weakest of the original three films it lacks the impact of Night, and the suspense of Dawn. The acting is rather amateurish and not a great deal happens plot-wise but it has some memorable lines (when there is no more room in hell...) and an interesting attempt to expand on the idea rather than retreading the same ground. Easily the best characters are "Frankenstein", the scientist in charge of researching the phenomenon and his zombie sidekick Bub; the scene when they listen to his tapes is genuinely chilling in an "All work and no play..." kind of way! There are some low budget but inventive effects but the biggest drawback is ironically the strength of the opening; the scene of a completely deserted city populated entirely by zombies being roused into action by the presence of a rescue helicopter is easily the best part of the film and it unfortunately fails to deliver on the promise it shows. Still, despite it's flaws and a rather anti-climactic ending, it's a solid zombie flick with some nice ideas.

A young father is stalked by a pair of strangers who kidnap his son and inject him with a mysterious device causing him to undergo frightening changes. Having just re-watched this film, I'd have to say it has dated a little; the cinematography in particular can hardly be described as subtle and the action is rather clumsy. The imagery however, is just as powerful with some great Geiger-esque production design and striking visuals and animation. The pay-off at the end is certainly worth the effort, and it will appeal to fans of David Lynch and David Cronenberg. But I didn't remember it being quite so GAY!

Being a huge Ridley Scott fan I'm probably biased but I prefer this to The over-rated Silence of the Lambs. It reeks atmosphere and I found Hopkins' restrained performance more menacing. I also much preferred Julianne Moore's Agent Starling; the only real weak point is Liotta's "typical sexist male" which bordered on being a cartoon character

It of course retreads the same ground as the first, but it's efficiently done despite the obvious predictability of it all.

Without the dark humour and satirical slant of the original, this sequel is a far more generic comic book sci fi actioner. It still entertains, but the sledgehammer sentiment is laughable and whenever any interesting ideas are raised they are quickly skimmed over to get back to the overblown action sequences. OK, but not a patch on the original.

One of those films everyone was talking about at school the day after it was on TV, the creatively gruesome death scenes always strike a chord with kids! It's a solid addition to the franchise, with a genuinely creepy Johnathon Scott-Taylor able to back up his teenage tantrums to lethal effect.

A quality sequel to the classic ghost movie; it ditches the light tone and laughs from the original film, and instead concentrates on the chills; the ghoulish evangelist is genuinely creepy. It only misses the mark at the very end, by insisting on showing "the other side" in cheesy special effects rather than leaving it to the imagination.

Reasonably funny and rather more narrative driven than the usual Zucker spoofs but the TV series was still better.

A very stylish horror film with some great imagery, but I was expecting more...the build up of tension and suspense is tangible but let down by an unsatisfying ending. Just seeing a bunch of people keeling over for no reason in a copse seemed hugely anti-climactic to me...

A disappointment after the clever first movie, this reverts to the usual Hollywood action cliches. Taken as a standard spy/action film though, it is entertaining. Woo is master of the slo-mo shoot-out (although the scenes with the pirouetting cars and motorbikes are frankly absurd) and it feels like a decent, but lesser Bond film.

A decent stab at Arthur C. Clarke's novel, that's well worth watching for anyone who had trouble grasping the plot to 2001. Here it's all explained, and as such, makes a good companion piece to the original.

I didn't like the first one much, and I think this is an improvement; it could've done with a trim, but at least the kid is less annoying. There's more tension, more action and the King Kongeque finale is actually quite well handled.

Paul W. S. Anderson is a damn hack. That makes it deeply annoying that I quite enjoyed this film. The action sequences are actually pretty damn good; the scene when a predator fights toe to toe with an alien is worth 3 stars on it's own. Unfortunately, the rest of the film just doesn't measure up. In a way it reminded me of Jurassic Park because it's a creature feature where the creatures are so much more interesting than the people involved! Characterisation is sketchy at best, a mistake so many writers make because it makes it impossible to care what happens to everyone; even Sanaa Lathan is sexy and sassy, but at the same time completely uninteresting. On the other hand, the set pieces are very well done and the effects are excellent; the predator technology all looks fantastic. As a whole it makes a far better Predator film than an Alien film because of the way it ignores the logical "rules" of that franchise, preferring the big dumb fun of Arnie to the intelligence and gore of Alien, so if you keep your expectations low it's actually reasonably enjoyable.

Blockbuster sequels are ALL guilty of the same cinematic crimes. They are completely self referential and rarely bring anything new to the original idea. They're too long. The scripts are totally episodic and have far more interest in ever escalating set pieces than the story or characters. They rely far too much on CGI. And so it is with Dead Man's Chest. I personally thought the supernatural element was the weakest aspect of the original film and would have preferred to see a straight swashbuckling adventure with more of Captain Jack's dubious morality and witty dialogue at the centre. But that would've taken screen time away from the expensive CGI, wouldn't it...? Tsk tsk. In fact much of this film reminded me of a Pixar cartoon, with much of the same kind of humour and sight gags; Jack even reminded me of a Tom & Jerry cartoon as he tippy-toed up to situations, pulled a face, and ran away again. Time after time. My gripes are mainly aimed at it's inferiority to the original, and taken as a film in it's own right, it actually isn't bad at all. It's nice to see Keira get to do some swashbuckling of her own and Norrington has instantly gone from peripheral nobody to the second most interesting character in the story. It's amusing in a forgettable, popcorn kind of way, although the "ending" did seem like a sly way to press gang the audience into watching yet another sequel. It kind of worked, but I can't see myself wanting to rewatch this one in the near future.

Continuing directly on from the first movie, and with much of the same talent involved, this is not the measure of the original, but still head and shoulders above 99.9% of other slasher flicks.

Superior sequel full of dumb belly laughs and knowing wit alike. I still prefer Bill And Ted though.

Inventive sequel that adds some flesh to the bones of the original's idea. Some very disturbing images and definitely not for the weak of stomach, but fans of this kind of thing will love it.

Incredibly grim sequel to one of the best hard-boiled cop movies of the 70s, Popeye Doyle blusters into France to find himself out of his depth and completely ineffectual in this strange land. Add to this the humiliation of being kidnapped and completely broken by the bad guy who deliberately hooks him on heroin, and a wrath-filled vengeance is assured. Sometimes difficult to watch, but a powerful sequel.

Lady Snowblood is arrested and sentenced to death, but broken out of jail by a corrupt secret policeman who wishes to employ her talents to recover an incriminating document. Why this film is called "Love Song Of Vengeance" I have absolutely no idea because the plot is basically a half-hearted slice of political intrigue which in no way can replace the original concept of a lifelong blood vendetta against rapists and murderers. The idea is all a little vague and unconvincing, and the supporting characters are allotted far too much screen time, taking focus away from Meiko Kaji herself who is obviously by far the most interesting character. It still looks nice, but it lacks the action and inspiration of the original film (although Quentin still found enough "inspiration" to steal the idea of blinding an eye-patch wearing foe!) Not a bad sequel, but it feels rather diluted compared to the first installment.

The belated sequel came 23 years after the original was made, and seems like a very bad idea. But strangely, it works. The premise behind it is actually quite good, but unfortunately it's impossible to go into details without ruining the plot...suffice to say, give it a chance. It's better than you'd think!

Not quite as bad as everyone makes out, but the (few) relevant plot points could easily have been incorporated in the final film and the extended fight scenes are tiresome. Having a (poor) cliffhanger at the end also made it feel incomplete. Probably because it was.

The only Dirty Harry sequel worth watching. It lacks the power of the original, and is far more generic and formulaic, but still reasonably entertaining.

Rather better than the dismal third instalment, and Jet Li's star presence is a welcome addition, but we've seen it all before.

The Clouseau franchise soon became unimaginative and tedious, but the original sequel still had a modicom of wit and charm. It all went downhill after this though...

Rather pointless re-telling of the ultimate shark story. A bunch of irritating teens are a little harder to have sympathy for, but at least Roy Scheider stayed on board...

The predator returns to stalk supercop Danny Glover on the streets of a suburban warzone while a federal special ops team try to track down and capture the creature. Relocating the predator story to a humid city environment in the middle of a gang war was actually a pretty strong idea, but the execution falls far short of the promising concept. Much of the first half of the film is a hang over from trashy 80s cop films, full of posturing stereotypes who come across as little more than foul-mouthed, trigger happy thugs because it lacks the tongue in cheek humour of the first film. The supporting cast are without exception awful, and the cinematography tacky and cheap looking. Add some poor production design (the predator ship looks rubbish) and very dated effects and we have a typical sequel in that a great idea is dragged down to the level of a straight to DVD release. It's not a complete waste of time;it starts reasonably well and the sequence where they try to capture the predator is decent, although it's a transparent and hugely inferior rip off of the first encounter scene in Aliens. The predator is still a very cool creation, and seeing a Geiger alien skull in their ship probably caused every sci-fi nerd who saw it to spontaneously ejaculate. In fact the much maligned AVP films are both rather a lot better than this, and probably saved the Predator franchise from a similar fate to Starship Troopers'.

A reasonable sequel that suffers mainly for the fact that Willis is not trapped this time, which removes the claustrophobia and panic from the equation. Some of the dialogue is rather clumsy and the one liners lack the wit of the original film, but William Sadler makes a entertainingly cold-blooded villain. An efficient action film but it's not in the same league as the original.

The Chinese government call a martial arts tournament and the local triad gangs use violence and intimidation to ensure victory. Enter Jet Li to address the situation and foil an assassination plot in the process. Continuing the exceedingly tall story of Wong Fei-hung, Tsui Hark learned his lesson from the previous film and made the comedy less crude and childish and tempered the melodrama playing more to his strengths; namely action and visual spectacle. And the sight of a horde of Chinese dragons battling in the streets is certainly one of the most colourful spectacles you are ever likely to see. Unfortunately the sea of costumes, masks and flowing fabric means it's extremely difficult to tell what's going on and the result is messy and confusing. The appeal of these films is clearly Jet Li's skill as a martial artist but more often than not his performance is obscured by the visual trappings. The assassination plot also feels like an afterthought and another excuse to vilify foreigners (the Russians this time). The beautiful production design and breakneck pace means that once again the film never feels boring, but there are far better examples of Jet Li's abilities out there.

Continuing the story of Wong Fei Hung, Tsui Hark's Once Upon In China 2 is more of Jet Li's amazing martial arts prowess punctuated by some decidedly suspect historical accuracy. In fact this second installment is so absurdly divorced from reality it makes Braveheart look like a documentary! It essentially attempts to bodge together two plots; one involving a fanatically xenophobic cult and another concerning two revolutionary intellectuals trying to evade capture. Both are completely half baked and essentially have absolutely nothing to do with each other. The scenes involving the cult are basically just an excuse for fancy costumes, fireworks and gimmicky fight scenes. It does contain a well meaning but extremely naive message about religious intolerance but the characters and dialogue are cartoonish and silly. The revolutionaries are a little more interesting but it's still overly melodramatic and simplistic and the plot haphazardly veers between the two elements with little thought for logic or narrative progression. The attempts at humour are also puerile, making the heroic and revered figure of the first film appear like a childish buffoon here. But of course the one saving grace of the film is the action; Jet Li is as superb as always and I found myself tolerating the nonsense in between in anticipation of the next remarkable fight scene. But if it's historical accuracy or a well written (or even vaguely believable) plot you're looking for, I'd skip it.

Why does it always seem to be the same with sequels? Film companies just insist on remaking the first film, and do it worse (you'd think they'd learn SOMETHING from their mistakes...) Of course there is always an exception to every rule, but unfortunately, this ain't it. Azumi 2 begins were the original left off, as Azumi and Nagara continue their quest to rid Japan of warlords. This time they are joined by Chiaki Kuriyama (AKA Gogo from Kill Bill) who is a welcome addition to the cast, and there's plenty more flying limbs and spurting blood. Plus of course, Aya Ueto is still hotter than a McDonalds fruit pie filling. Unfortunately the plot is minimal and there just isn't enough action; and what there is seriously misses Ryuhei Kitamura's stylish visuals and epic scale. The villains are also nowhere NEAR as much fun. It passes an hour and a half relatively inoffensively, but it's a pale shadow of the first installment.

Following in the footsteps of the sanitized sequel, rather than the dark original, this is more comic book campness. Again, reasonably entertaining with some very funny moments (particularly the pursuit in the pimpmobile and some great lines "I hope you're insured"!) but again, some sickeningly schmaltzy ones.

A decent Chan outing, but it's not the measure of the original, or it's sequel for that matter. But it's far from terrible and his fans will not be disappointed.

Easily the weakest of the three. Has its moments though.

Brendan Fraser and co are once again terrorised by cartoon mummies in this typical Hollywood sequel; it tries so hard to outdo the first that the ingredients that made it work get lost in the flabby, overblown excess. The Mummy worked so well because it had fun interplay between hugely likeable characters, only marred by the over-reliance on cartoony CGI. So what did Sommers do? Cut out all the characterisation and dialogue, and put in loads more CGI...Fraser and Weisz's kooky romance is replaced by schmaltzy married bliss complete with precocious brat, and Hannah's character does little more than bicker with an 8 year old. The plot consists of stereotypes spouting cliches between race against time chase sequences, and as soon as they conclude the baddies immediately reappear and start another one. This culminates in a fight sequence with the dreadfully rendered Scorpion King which looks like something out of a videogame. Having said all that, Sommers does know how to direct action and it does have some nice production design, so it rarely broke the cardinal rule and bored me. Passable, but so incredibly dumb it in no way tempted me to watch yet another sequel or spin-off.

The remains of a Federation unit hole up in an abandoned outpost awaiting evacuation when it becomes apparent that they have a new bug threat in their midst. Starship Troopers is one of my favourite guilty pleasures. On the surface, it's just a dim-witted and militaristic sci-fi action movie, but underneath it's actually a very funny black comedy and social satire in a similar vein to Verhoeven's other darkly comic sci-fi actioner Robocop. But as with Robocop's sequel, the streak of black humour is removed for ST2, and what we have is a much more run of the mill affair. Aliens meets Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers in this no frills straight to DVD release that's executed efficiently enough and has some pretty decent effects; in fact it's rather reminiscent of the Resident Evil movies in feel and quality. It's done with little imagination and the ending is weak as it tries in a very half-hearted way to ape the political satire of the first film, but it's an inoffensive diversion that'll satisfy anyone with a couple of hours to kill and low expectations.

I was quite impressed with Brian De Palma's original Mission Impossible; it was a cleverly scripted and well cast spy movie with all the right ingredients. The second was okay too; much more of a dumbed down action film, but still tongue in cheek enough to be fun. I'd heard that the third instalment was a return to the more intricately plotted original. But guess what? I'd heard wrong. What we have here is Ethan Hunt blowing stuff up, jumping off buildings and hanging from helicopters, sharing only the most rudimentary militaristic "op" speak with his James Bond tag-team; otherwise they barely interact with each other. Add a wedding ceremony that's straight out of Independence day and a "twist" that's so obvious a 5 year old could guess it, and what you have is basically True Lies without the jokes. At least the previous film knew it was trashy action and presented itself as such; this is just trashy action with delusions of grandeur. A big disappointment.

Ang Lee's version of The Hulk was met with a lot of criticism but I thought it was a brave if flawed attempt to make a more cerebral superhero film. The fact is, a character whose catchphrase is "Hulk smash!" wasn't the best choice for that approach (although I think Lee would've made a great Daredevil film. Que sera sera...) The studio obviously tried to address the situation by making a much more formulaic action film for the sequel, which is understandable. But they overcompensated. The plot to this film can be summed up by: Evil general sends the troops after Ed. He runs away trying to keep his temper but can't. Hulk smash. He escapes. Evil general sends the troops after Ed. He runs away trying to keep his temper but can't. Hulk smash. Evil general creates another monster to fight Hulk. Hulk smash. The end. All the characters are similarly formulaic, Banner spending all his time trying to save lovely Liv, the evil general doing the old military wanting to turn science into a weapon schtick and Liv doing her best Beauty & The Beast/Fay Wray impression. And I literally could not give a crap about any of them. The finale is nothing more than a WWF smackdown between two cartoon characters; the CGI is fancy but at the end of the day CGI images are created by animators. Cartoons cannot act and so are never convincing as characters you are supposed to "care" about, and watching a bunch of cars get thrown around a lot just doesn't impress me any more. As unpopular an opinion as it might be, I actually think I prefer the Ang Lee film myself; at least it was done with a little imagination.

I personally find it bizarre how every single half-baked horror film that gets released seems to warrant a sequel these days; I honestly don't know why a lot of these movies exist. Ju-on is actually one of the few that deserved a sequel; whether or not it was a good idea to make it is open to debate though. I personally consider the original Ju-on the best straight horror film I've ever seen, but the sequel seems to have fallen into the usual horror sequel trap. Instead of expanding on the idea, the director seems to have thought "well we did all the build up in the original, so let's jump straight in with the scary stuff!" Unfortunately, without the build up, there is no tension, and so instead of being scary, the spooky happenings seem faintly ridiculous; the opening section makes the ghostly boy look like some kind of albino gremlin! Add some rather gimmicky nonsense including hairy nooses and a mobile wig and it's very difficult to take seriously. It does improve towards the end, and the final half hour does contain some genuinely creepy moments, but it seems to be content to rip off the (inferior) Ringu rather than carrying on the tradition of the original movie. Not bad, but not in the same league as Ju-on.

Always intriguing, with a few nerve jangling moments, but again I found myself waiting for a pay-off that never materialized.

A synopsis would be a complete waste of time because, let's face it, we all know what this film is about. It's about milking the cash cow. Moo. It has jokes that involve juxtapositioning the mundane with the ridiculous. It has pregnant pauses aplenty. It has Will Smith bickering with Tommy Lee Jones. And funny looking aliens. Ho de ho. Is it a terrible film? No, it isn't. Is it unbelievably lazy and soulless? Yes it is.

Another pointless, inferior sequel to Dirty Harry that's totally lacking in subtlety. Tyne Daly adds a slightly different spin as his female sidekick, but its all purely by the numbers.

The bumbling young scholar continues his adventures when he is mistaken for a respected philosopher whose disciples are trying to free one of their imprisoned brethren from the clutches of a demon impersonating a religious leader. More ridiculous coincidences, unlikely misunderstandings and mistaken identities are the excuse for people flying through the air in slow motion through pink and green backlit dry ice in this sequel to the popular fantasy from Tsui Hark. The action is the usual frenetic martial arts and pyrotechnics shot from odd angles and girls clothes accidentally fall off and boobs are accidentally grabbed in the usual Carry On Hong Kong style. The plot is the familiar Asian insanity with little to no structure to speak of; it's just a random sequence of events designed to introduce yet more eye boggling nonsense and the dialogue best not mentioned. And the monster effects are truly awful! Yet like a child's pantomime it's all done with such niave charm and enthusiasm it's difficult not to warm to it. I spent just as much time laughing at it as with it, but it's amusing enough to move it into the so bad it's (almost) good category.

This sequel to the 1939 Jesse James sees his brother Frank hunting down those responsible for his death. And I must say I've never seen such a bloodless warpath. We are are used to the way films can romanticise outlaws, but this one really takes the cake; Henry Fonda's Frank makes Robin Hood look like Charles Manson! The only crime he commits is a robbery (for very good reasons of course) and the of the men he is hunting, one (or rather the most unconvincing dummy in cinematic history!) falls off a cliff and the other dies before he gets a chance to shoot him. For most of the film Frank is far more interested in romancing Gene Tierney than revenge (although who could blame him for that...) Fritz Lang is clearly not comfortable with this genre; it all feels very static and the wishy washy technicolor does not suit his visual style. But it is the overly simplistic script that is by far the biggest handicap of this film. It's kept watchable by the amiable cast, but it's hardly the finest moment of anyone involved.

This sequel to a decent but unspectacular horror flick is a rarity; it actually adds to the original rather than diminishing it in a half-arsed and soulless attempt to milk it for cash. I'm a fan of Tony Todd and he fleshes out the backstory of the "dreaded" Candyman with reasonable style.

Okayish Neil Simon comedy with a strong cast (the story involving Michael Caine and Maggie Smith is particularly witty) but I couldn't shake the feeling I was watching a landlocked episode of The Love Boat...

I think that this is a love or hate kind of film. So I'm not going to fly in the face of popular opinion, and tell you I loved the first half, and hated the second! Clooney and Pitt have actually managed to form a buddy partnership to almost emulate that of Redford and Newman, and during the stylish and witty first hour, it sparkles. Unfortunately, half way through they are arrested and are never on the screen together again...instead we are presented with Julia Roberts playing Tess playing Julia Roberts, alongside Bruce Willis playing himself purely for the sake of it. Add to this the fact that the clever heist-based plot is replaced by The Pink Panther does Entrapment and it completely flounders. Which is a real shame because up until that point, I was really enjoying it...

Superman, Batman, X-Men...there must be some kind of unwritten rule that says in a superhero franchise, the second must always be better than the first, but the third MUST suck. Here Blade returns to see Whistler immediately killed off (after capping some policemen??), destroying the warrior/mentor relationship that drove the first two films. It is replaced by an iPod touting Scooby gang of catalogue models spouting lame wise-cracks like something out of a particularly witless episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. They set out to pursue the original vampire called Drake (can you see what they did there? It's like Dracula. But cool.) who they need to shoot with a special arrow blah blah. Inevitably there are some nice visual effects and cool ass kicking sequences, but all the wit and style brought to the franchise by Guillermo Del Toro is gone, leaving what can only be described as a cinematic happy meal for the MTV generation. And Ryan Reynolds and Parker Posey are both awful, although admittedly, they had VERY little to work with...

This belated second sequel to The Three Musketeers is a rather slapdash, uneven patchwork of weak writing and sloppily directed set pieces that fails to recreate the magic of the previous films. It's not a complete waste of time as there are some funny lines and decent moments, and Kim Cattrall looks pretty good in leather pants. Christopher Lee's character is completely wasted though.

Virtual remake of the original, with less wit and more schmaltz. The chemistry between Murray, Ackroyd and Ramis keeps it watchable though.

The inevitable cash-in sequel to a decent original, this is not half as good, but still a million times better than anything else Seagal has done.

The 80s brat pack turns it's hand to "reinventing" the western yet again. It's all very superficial, but mildly entertaining, and slightly better than the original.

Typical bog standard sequel that just rehashes the original, but with less wit. Inoffensive but corny.

The first one was brilliant, and this has a decent premise, but it seems to be far more interested in being "clever" than offering any kind of coherent narrative. Biff seems to have been promoted from school bully to fully fedged homicidal psychopath overnight, and much of the humour relies on putting Michael J Fox in a dress. A bit of a mess, really.

The corporate cash cowasaurus once again terrorizes the cinema-going public with another grimly inevitable sequel. And who'd have thought watching giant lizards eating people could be so dull? The script is episodic and unimaginative, the characters uninteresting cliches and it's pacing is dreadful. The action and effects are executed with workmanlike efficiency, but there is zero suspense and less in the way of surprises. One idea is sometimes enough to carry one film, but three? This franchise really is running on empty, so if you really want to see yet more people screaming and running around in a jungle, go for King Kong. It's far, far better than this cinematic theme park ride.

Let's face it, all of the sequels to Planet Of The Apes were rubbish, but this one relocated to 70s america is not the worst. It has some charm; particularly during the courtroom sequence and when the apes get the "star" treatment on the talk show circuit, but it looks and feels like a cheap TV movie.

Irrelevant resurrection of Michael Myers that "reinvents" the franchise by making it the same as all the others. Utterly predictable.

Lightning not striking twice.

The usual Hollywood "lame remake of the original" sequel formula. Inoffensive but pointless.

More of the same from the files of Police Squad! Still a few laughs, but it's wearing a bit thin by now.

Another typical sequel that takes the sublime and makes it ridiculous. A car chase on the scale of the Blues Brothers, but with a tank? A taxi that sprouts wings?? And I'm not sure if something is lost in the translation, but the humour all seems to revolve around racism and sexism which leaves a rather unpleasant taste in the mouth.

Again, some funny moments (particularly involving the talking gremlin) but far too self-referential and concerned with cramming in as many in-jokes as possible, rather than offering up any genuine wit.

The film that saw the Rocky series ditch any attempt at subtlety or depth, and adopt the now familiar formula. Made watchable by the kitsch appeal of Mr. T's presence.

Schlocky re-hash of Cronenberg's schlocky re-hash of The Fly. It has a decent premise, but has far more interest in showy ropey gore effects than presenting anything fresh or new. The two stars are about as interesting as dry wall as well.

Sequel, and virtual remake of Mister Roberts, but without the star presence of Henry Fonda and James Cagney, it lacks the dramatic gravitas. Inoffensive but pointless.

A dimwitted action sequel to a dimwitted disaster movie populated with a second string cast of TV movie stalwarts, and Michael Caine slumming it in a similar vein to Jaws:The Revenge. But like that film, it is still strangely watchable in a laugh at it rather than with it kind of way...

A typical corporate attempt to milk a cash cow by making the original film again, but worse.

Essentially a heavily diluted remake of the previous movies, all involved appear to be on auto pilot. The romance between Gibson and Russo is unconvincing and Pesci makes me want to plant my foot in the TV screen...

Irrelevant sequel to True Grit, this is worth watching only for Katharine Hepburn's crotchety old maid's entertainingly snide remarks.

Lois Lane in peril! Oh, no...but wait! Superman appears at the last minute and saves her! But dastardly Lex Luther plots an evil scheme...superman blows out some fires and flies around catching falling signs/foiling bank robberys. But wait! Lex has kryptonite and defeats Supes. But Lois saves him and he returns to save the day! Hoorah! Any of this sounding familiar...? The Superman franchise has been so ubiquitous since the original films that EVERYTHING has been done. There is not ONE original idea on display here...even the one interesting plot twist is telegraphed a few minutes before it happens. The cast are bland and characterless (Routh seems to be doing a half-arsed impersonation of Christopher Reeve during the entire film) and Spacey lacks the larger than life charisma that Hackman brought to the role. And it's FAR too long. I'm going to score it higher than X-Men 3 as it is technically a better film. But I'd much rather sit through that again than rewatch this. It may be have been crap, but at least it wasn't BORING...

A really lame sequel to Planet Of The Apes in which a one man rescue team (useful) happens to land in exactly the same place just after Taylor left (handy) and wanders around asking people where he is. A lot. It gets better when Hest reappears (although this is virtually at the end), but it's just so pointless. Cool veiny heads though...

If you think that the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise is popular, or that The Dark Knight was hotly anticipated you'd be right, but they are NOTHING compared to the impact of the original Star Wars films at the time they were made. Star Wars was not so much a film franchise, but a virtual way of life to a whole generation. The Phantom Menace was THE most anticipated film ever made, and by that measure, George Lucas had one HELL of a lot of expectation to live up to. And, well, we all know what happened...But now all the hype has died down and this film can be looked at rather more objectively, and there's actually a lot to be admired about it. Lucas obviously surrounded himself with some of the best cinematic talent around. The effects are fantastic, the fight choreography excellent and best of all, the production design is magnificent. It starts fairly well jumping straight into a decent action sequence, and it was hard not to feel a collective tingle up our spines when we heard the sound of a light sabre igniting for the first time in 14 years. And then "oh lordy lordy, where am dat warty melon mazzah?" it's Jar Jar f***ing Binks. We then spend the time in which a planet is being invaded by a droid army watching computer generated fish eating each other while a fish-faced Burt Kwouk impersonator talks about trade embargoes. And there's nothing more magical and awe inspiring than a good trade embargo, eh? There are some decent sequences, particularly the exciting Ben Hur-esque pod race and the space battles but it's obvious that Lucas' technical staff were responsible for those because the rest of the film is just a load of dreary sentiment, dull political manoeuvering and feeble slapstick. We know the likes of Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman can act, so to blame them for their performances is like blaming a jockey for not winning a race when he's handed a three legged donkey. All the faults with this film can be laid squarely at the door of Lucas and his feeble script, and the best analogy I can think of when comparing the original Star Wars to The Phantom Menace is it's like comparing Let It Be to The Frog Chorus.

Hey, it's a turtles film, so don't expect Kurosawa, but the time travel plot gives an excuse for some cool period costumes and OK action sequences. Mildly entertaining rubbish.

A typically unnecessary sequel that shifts the action to Okinawa, which means there are some nice locations to look at, but inevitably, it's just rehashing the same old schtick.

More by the numbers slapstick nonsense. There's very little subtlety or originality on display here, I'm afraid. Just silly accents and fart jokes.

Probably good fun for kids, but the humour is crude and juvenile compared to the earlier films (which weren't THAT great anyway)

So what we have here is the story of a fish (which by now dwarves most whales) that can track individuals half way around the globe to extract it's "revenge" on them for what, being in the vicinity of a couple of its piscine mates being blown up/electrocuted?? I once saw a stand-up comedian devoting his entire routine to taking the piss out of this film...unintentionally hilarious!!

Martin Cove returns from the first film to try and turn Daniel-san bad! Will he succeed? Well, no. He won't. But we all knew that already didn't we. One was enough.

The old coots return to earth and boast about their hard-ons/breakdance/beat the kids at basketball blah blah blah. We saw all this in the first one, thanks.

Like the Batman franchise before it, the original director jumps ship and all the excellent groundwork he made goes straight down the toilet. All the intelligent characterization and snappy dialogue from the second film is replaced by soapy melodrama and ham-fisted flag waving reminiscent of the cheesiest elements of Independence Day without the sense of humour. The plot is incoherent and lacks structure, the character development is without exception either laughable or non-existent, and the undeniably spectacular set pieces are unexciting because they contain no emotional drama at all. The fact that the highlight of the film for me was a joke about someone being kicked in the balls sums up just how hugely disappointing it was.
Addendum:
15 reasons why X-Men 3 was crap:
Where's Nightcrawler?
Cyclops disappears after 2 minutes on the screen without explanation
Professor X is killed for no reason half way through (and then they put in a crap excuse to bring him back as a different actor)
Angel appears at the beginning says two lines, and only reappears at the very end without a word of explanation
Vinnie Jones is in it
What happened to Storm's accent?
The ending is EXACTLY like "bad Willow" in the crap season of Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Six (count 'em SIX) of the best characters are now either dead or de-powered for NO GOOD REASON!
Dubious politics...they want to stop the serum being used as a weapon, so they erm...use it as a weapon?!
The Danger Room sequence with the sentinel looked like it would have been a MUCH better movie!
Wolverine turned into an army recruitment poster and a pussy.
Where exactly had Phoenix BEEN for three months??
Wolverine: "I love you! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Ahem. Rant over.

A pointless rehash of The Road Warrior that has far more interest in production design than any kind of coherent (or vaguely interesting) plot. The attempts to create believable post-apocalyptic Clockwork Orange style speech is embarrassing and worst of all, it's boring.

I'm sorry, but the character development of this film is absolutely ludicrous.
"I'm a goody two shoes Jedi, but I'm having dreams about my girlfriend carking it so I'll butcher some children."
Puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease...and how many times do we really need to see a shot of a lightsaber falling to the ground? And instead of pointing the camera at two actors statically spouting dismally inane dialogue at each other, Lucas has them endlessly circling each other like they're on a baggage carousel. Spouting dismally inane dialogue at each other.
It is the best of the prequels; not exactly the stiffest of competition however...

And so the irritating child has become a pouty teenager who is quite possibly carved from the finest mahogany. After grudgingly revisiting this, my least favourite of the prequels (and that's up against some STIFF competition) I have to say that my initial anger has subsided somewhat, and given way to a kind of post-modern amusement. George cannot write. Or direct. That much is clear; the plot to padding ratio of the script is amongst the worst I've ever seen, and some of the dialogue is surely the worst ever spewed forth on the silver screen (what woman could possibly resist the old "you're not like sand" routine...) The attempts at humour are embarrassing to say the least; I've seen better jokes on an ice lolly stick. The sequence in the droid factory looks like it was included solely because it'd make a good level in the videogame version, and many of the characters/monsters seem to exist purely for the purpose of making the kiddies pester their parents into buying their tacky plastic equivalents from ToysRUs. As for the visuals, well they look expensive. But that doesn't make them good. Much of the film looks like an over-priced cartoon, the worst example being the absolutely laughable and pointless arena section at the end. Add to this the fact that the only two interesting characters, Dooku and Jango Fett are (like Bobba before them) completely wasted, and what you have is a highly polished turd. I don't loathe it in the way I used to, but the best I can say about it is that it may one day stand shoulder to shoulder with the likes of Jaws IV and Star Trek V as examples of the amusingly bad...

Another feeble sequel to Highlander that again ignores it's own rules. Tries to recapture the magic of the original, and fails miserably.

It was thought that if John Landis returned as director, this sequel would recapture the magic lost by the horrendous second film. They were wrong. Witless, unfunny and gratuitously violent.

Ridiculous final chapter of the Dirty Harry franchise, oozing 80s excess and cheese. Irrelevant and daft.

Normally Hollywood sequels take a financially successful movie and make an inferior sequel. Here they just made a sequel that was EXACTLY the same as the original. Laziness does not begin to describe...

The usual mix of rednecks, car chases and stunts. Watch an episode of The Dukes Of Hazzard instead. It's shorter.

Sigh. The first was lame. The rest are just a waste of celluloid.

Utterly formulaic and unbelievably dim flag waver and epitome of the kind of Reagan era Russkie hating that permeated the 80s. Rocky with every last vestige of subtlety an intelligence removed...does have some mild kitsch entertainment value though.

Steve and co rehash the same old jokes yet again in an utterly inane and pointless sequel to an inane and pointless original.

Absolutely bizarre excuse for a "sequel" that has absolutely NOTHING to do with the earlier films. Just some nonsense about some masks that turn kids heads into insects when they watch a TV ad? What??

Tedious kid's stuff in which the living VW beetle goes south of the border and has a series of unfunny misadventures. Anyone over the age (or IQ) of 8 shouldn't bother.

More soulless contrived cliched rubbish in a similar, but worse vein to the original. Whoopi.

Inevitable and by the numbers family "comedy" that's probably a blast if you are a menopausal woman. I need more than endless shots of a big baby being "cute" to entertain me though...

Sequel to the CGI based sci fi film that has nothing in common with it apart from the CGI. Some interesting cyber-punk inspired ideas, but it's executed far too amateurishly. Also, making the heroes a gang of irritating kids is the kiss of death.

Tacky, sleazy and nasty thriller packed with thoroughly unlikeable characters and completely lacking in the realistic grittiness and power of the original film. Unpleasant.

Hopeless sequel that throws out all the elements of the original that made it interesting. The action is reasonably well-handled, and Ironside's gleeful villain is quite watchable but the writer seemed to just be making it up as he went along. Incoherent and non-sensical.

This dismal sequel goes to show what a loss the death of Brandon Lee really was. The original was stylish, exciting, and Lee oozed charisma. Perez has all the chemistry of a used tea bag. And (incomprehensibly considering the subject matter) it was boring.

Look! Wes Craven is really clever because he is aware of his own feeble plot devices!

This sequel to Dragonheart throws up many important questions, but none more than this: which is more important to you, watching a CG baby dragon spit ice amongst ineptly directed straight to video martial arts, or 90 minutes of your life you'll never get back...?

The comedy robot deals with "homies" in "the hood" in the big bad city in a project so ill advised, even Guttenberg wanted nothing to do with it...

A laughable comic book horror flick with some ridiculously bad effects and dialogue. So bad it's almost funny. Almost.

Dud tries to recreate his only decent film by doing his tiresome comedy drunk schtick again, but realises John Gielgud was the only funny one in it, and he's dead. Which leaves Liza Minelli to save the day. All hands abandon ship...

The seminal sci-fi classic spawned a series of increasingly duff sequels, and this is the last and worst. The script could've been written by a 14 year old boy; all ham-fisted analogies and running around with guns. Stupid and pointless.

More witless ape-related redneckery from a true star who should've known better.

The words "insult" and "injury" spring to mind.

The idea of a sequel to Mannequin is a bit like contracting anthrax and then saying "Please sir, can I have some more?"

Rocky reduced to a hideous schmaltz-fest and little more than a brainless half-arsed soap opera.

Why doesn't Wes Craven just f*** off and die...?

Sly humourlessly butchers half of Vietnam in a risible homo-erotic test-fest. Imagine an ultra-violent po-faced episode of the A-Team but with less complexity or depth.

The original was a flashy, witty action comedy. This virtual remake however, is an idiotic, tasteless, crude, ugly pile of crap.

Or "How to take a nice idea and wring every drop of wit and subtlety out of it." I felt like I was watching a cheap video game; the scene inter-cut with children in Iraq is laughable. Pretentious and stupid.

I have difficulty tolerating GOOD musicals. And this is a really really (really) BAD one.

A travesty of the original, and one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Complete shit.

Speed. Without Keanu Reeves. On a boat. Even worse than it sounds.

Oh dear. A perfect example of how a sequel to a great film can suck so completely. Ludicrous plot, stereotypical characters you couldn't care less about (there's an englishman in this who actually utters the line "Cor blimey, guv'nor". Seriously.), awful effects. The list goes on...at least Jaws 4 was funny.

The sequel to Russian vampire movie Nightwatch, Daywatch continues the battle between the forces of light and darkness for supremacy on Earth. At least I think that's what it's about because it's so confusing it's quite difficult to tell. Not that it's complicated, it's such a mish-mash of unrelated and random ideas that it just makes little sense; in fact it's quite obvious that the script writer was just making it up as he went along, throwing everything he thought sounded "cool" into the mix with absolutely no thought to narrative, structure or even plain logic. This can be sometimes be successfully papered over by impressive action sequences, and there are some nice visual moments here, but that's all they are. Moments. Probably barely enough to scrape together into a flashy trailer. We never see any "battles", the action merely concerned with fast cars and property destruction and are just thrown in at random intervals with little affect on or relevance to the story. Add to this attempts at humour that are embarrassingly unfunny and you have a tediously overlong, self-indulgent mess of a film that fails to deliver on every level.

The most famous war hero turned bank robber of America's near future manages to get himself caught (again) to be blackmailed (again) and sent on a mission into a lawless L.A. to retrieve a doomsday weapon for the government. Again. This film reminded me of "Dancing In The Street" by David Bowie and Mick Jagger. Escape From L.A. basically rehashes all of the ideas from New York, but somehow manages to exclude everything about it that made it good. Russell swaggers around dressed as a refugee from a gay version of the Matrix on the site of a bad goth music video amongst an ill-fittiing jigsaw puzzle of weak social satire and overblown action sequences shored up by some really dated looking CGI. The supporting cast sound good on paper, but Buscemi is wasted as a kind of post apocalyptic used car salesman, an unrecognisable Bruce Campbell gets to say two lines (literally) and disappears without trace and Pam Grier slums it as a transexual and has to say all her lines through a voice distorter that makes her sound more like The Exorcist than a man in drag. And Peter Fonda is just DREADFUL. The action is actually rather better handled than in New York, but everything else is just so damn lame, the worst example being the laughable death by shooting hoops scene. It's basically a couple of old men who were well past their sell by date throwing money at a soulless cover version of a popular classic that manages to look even more dated than the original. Like I said. Dancing In The Street.

The Appleseed saga continues as Deunan and cyborg sidekick Briareos are joined by a bioroid created from his genetic template and fight to prevent an evil scientist from taking control of the entire population with an insidious communications device. The first Appleseed film was a visual feast that perfectly captured the essence of the Manga it was based upon. The story here is rather predictable and derivative, involving the usual stereotypical mad scientist having megalomaniacal designs on the human race, but it was never really the plot that the original was all about. This sequel obviously concentrated on upgrading the visuals, and they are a lot slicker and more up to date than the originals; but that does not necessarily mean that they are "better". Everything has a glossy sheen on it that lacks the gritty, dark style that made it so good, and they manage to make it look more like a cut scene from a Final Fantasy game rather than less. The action sequences are far less intense and exciting as a result, and the simplistic characterisation means there is little in the way of emotional involvement. There's still some gorgeous images and fantastic manga-style production design, but as a whole it's another case of a franchise becoming a glossy shadow of its former self.