So Bad, They Rock!

If crap movies had a platonic ephemeral template, it would be 'Troll 2'. Absurd acting, ridiculous writing, nonexistent production values, and absolutely no sense of what it's trying to accomplish. Hooray!

You know ever horrible, bloody ridiculous thing you've heard about this movie? It's all true, and more so. Travolta's odd choice to play the Machiavellian vassal of a conquerer race as an effete moron with substance abuse problems was an interesting one indeed.

Gloriously insensate, remarkably obtuse, and brilliantly dopey. Ah Eddy, God bless you! Underrated in it's badness, I actually enjoyed it more than 'Plan 9'!

Boobies in the first 3 minutes? Lines of dialog that sound like they were written by a drunken 12 year old? Jumpy, spastic action scenes that try to emulate 'The Matrix', and actually make you like that film less because of it? Why it must be Uwe Boll, a director so bad, he's destined for immortality. (Why? To live forever!)

Yes, Uwe Boll's getting better. No, his movies have not stopped being ridiculous. And thank God; Boll's hammy, undercooked, ren-fest barf bag is the funniest film I saw last year. Starring Kristanna Loken's nipples, and Ben Kingley as a vaguley sinister tree stump.

Goofy as all hell, and quite enjoyable because of it. Not a good movie in any way, but one of the better bad tv movies around. Energetic and silly; look for the scene where Bob Newhart goes all medieval on some badguy ass.

I would call Equinox cheesy rather than bad. It has a lot of imagination, and the special effects are cute enough. It just falls flat when it comes to meaningless little things like acting, plot, dialouge, and production values. Very fun though, and more than a little foreshadowing to 'The Evil Dead'

A devilishly obscure amature horror anthology, and a body can see why. The production values are so low, it seems like something you'd find on public access. And yet, the stories are so odd and original, I can't help but love this movie. Santa's evil twin, pot that turns people into melty zombies, and moldy pirate skeletons. Seriously weird, this one. (There's also a nice creepy short on the dvd.)

You can't go wrong with Eddy. Bela Lugosi, Tor Johnson, and a rubber octopus; who could ask for anything more?

Oh come on, you can't have a bad movie list without this.

Even aside from its simplistic moralizing and medically ludicrous agitprop, it's the asinine performances and amature pacing and editing that make this film as hilarious as it truly is.

A silly, dim movie, there is no doubt, but one that I have fond memories of. Hoskins, Hopkins, Leguizamo, and Mathis are all fine actors; even though they have nothing to work with they make their respective charecters likable.

This really is a genius level of awful. Ed Woodian soliloquies, asinine effects, moronic writing, horrid humor, and thoroughly off-putting "titillation". It all adds up to the laugh riot no critic without a mental condition is talking about!