The crap is out of my body...

I hope the remake bursts into flames and dies.
This is one of the scariest, most intelligent and most exciting movies ever made!!

*Review coming soon*

Creepy as fuckin hell... I know, I know, it's really awful with terrible acting and a stupid screenplay but you can't deny it's technically perfect! Art direction and make up is larger-than-life and it works: I didn't sleep for an entire week after seeing this.

Angry Princess still gives me some bad dreams... I'm such a dork...

I love Sarah Michelle Gellar, so what?

One thing before writing this review: I hate camp. I really do. I don't think John Waters is campy, I think he's a genius. I hate camp because I don't believe in "so bad it's good" movies. I believe there are either GOOD or BAD movies, and that's it.

Another thing: I hate horror flicks. I really do. You know why? Because they're not scary. Not at all. I don't get scared easily. In the last 19 years, I've only been scared of "Stir of echoes" with Kevin Bacon, "The Grudge" with Sarah Michelle Gellar, "[rec]" (one of, if not the scariest films ever created by mankind) and "Sleepaway camp" with Felissa Rose.

Yes: I love this movie! Do you want to know why? Because it scared the fuckin crap out of me! It really did! I didn't want to see this movie because I thought it was pure crap (just as my dear friend Quinto Wallight, from Flixster, loves his movies: crappy and campy) but last night I had nothing else to do and I decided to see this movie, uploaded on YouTube. And even in a tiny screen on a website, while talking with some friends on the MSN Messenger, I was really scared.

Everything in this movie is amazing. There are a couple of campy performances (specially from the grown-ups, like the weird, drag-queen aunt and the hunky camp dude with tiny shorts and hairy chest) but the lead roles, specially the beautiful (yes, beautiful!) Felissa Rose give amazing performances. The tiny, shy Felissa is hypnotizing from start to finish and while the quality of the film may not be the greatest (it is, after all, a slasher film from the 80s, c'mon!) she always finds the way to shine.

But what's really awesome about "Sleepaway Camp" is not only its scary scenes, its undeveloped characters (excluding Felissa, of course) or its unintentional humor (c'mon! You gotta love how crack-whore-bitchy Karen Fields is!), it's more than that. There's some sort of special charm about it and the deaths really help: they are so original, so fresh, so wicked. And the best part is there's a reason for it! There's a theory surrounding the movie (specially nowadays that there's a super cult behind it) that tells us that MAYBE, and just MAYBE, the killer is not who we asume it is and who the ending tells us. But one thing's for sure: it's a kid. A child. And that's the reason why the murders are so crazy and psychotic: child's minds are so powerful, so brilliant, they can pull off some gimmicks like the ones we see on screen with such dexterity it's absolutely scary. Kids are mean, but not only mean: they're smart and mischievious. And that's why EVERYTHING you can possibly foresee or predict about "Sleepaway Camp" is, right until the very last credit rolls, complete bullshit. The movie stays with you and you keep on guessing and discovering new stuff with further viewings and research because you won't be able to keep your mind away from it.

The ending. I know everyone comments about it but it's not only shocking because of its "apparently-obvious-but-not-too-obvious" resolution and final shock and twist, but because of everything behind it, everything we can't see, everything surrounding the fact that... well, you'll know when you see it. And that last, very last frame... scary, huh?

Enjoy.

A note to all the haters: go rot in Hell!

:)

*Review coming soon*

This is extremely entertaining and exciting, so I don't care about the "original" or whatever. I hate when people can't deal with the fact that a movie has to be seen as "A movie", remake or not.

Weird enough, I loved the cast. Jake Weber and Ty Burrell from two great TV series, Ving Rhames, Mekhi Phifer and, of course, Sarah Polley. I really didn't believe it was her until the end credits and the second time I saw the movie (in the same day)... it's absolutely fantastic how she reminds me of Meryl Streep in one thing: she can't go wrong. Even in a freakin zombie movie, she can't go wrong.

Between "Resident Evil 3" and this one, I now know zombie movies are great fun!

Kudos for the extraordinary soundtrack, the final scenes within the credits and, of course, the baby zombie: an icon for the new millenium.

Better than I expected. It's extremely exciting and the cinematography is simply fantastic as it is Eugenio Caballero's production design. Technically flawless, a fun ride that makes us forget how awful the first and second parts were.

OK, please, stop the hate: Salles is a wonderful director, Connelly is a larger-than-life-extraordinary-amazing actress, and the visual effects and art direction was terrific. So what if it's a remake? I liked "The Grudge" and I hated "The Ring" and "The Ring 2" and whatever... So what? This movie is a GOOD movie! It has excellent performances by the ENTIRE cast who came into the project because of Connelly/Salles... it has amazing direction and a good screenplay. The only flaw is being a remake... is that SO bad? Think about it...

underrated!! It's great and exciting with an incredible performance by Jennifer Carpenter!

Ok, kill me (with a chainsaw) but this is, by far, the most beautiful cinematography I've ever seen on film. Gorgeous from start to finish, along with a marvelous art direction/ set decoration and a wicked make up, it makes this otherwise "simple" movie become delicious to see. I know Jessica Biel is, well... Jessica Biel, but believe it or not she didn't annoy me at all. She isn't worse than she was in "The Illusionist"... or "I now pronounce you Chuck & Larry"... or... well, you get the idea. The movie isn't actually half bad, it's entertaining, exciting and filmed with flawless technique. So, why should I hate it? Because it's a remake and remakes are "always awful"? Because it has Jessica Biel in it? (That's a good point but no) Because it has teens being slaughtered? (So did the original) Because the original is a cult classic and everybody loves it to death? (I haven't seen it)

"Taste" is as random as a roulette and my taste, which I think it's kind of nice, tells me to go for it and simply LOVE this movie for what it is: a cool film with the best cinematography and production design ever. Marcus Nispel knows what the hell he is doing, and this is how we get to the point where "Alice" gets me more excited than before.

4 stars for the flawless tecnique.

A classic for the new millenium. It's the kind of movie we will tell our kids stories about. The performances are some of the best of 2001 with definitely the best cast of that year (yeah, even over the Tenenbaums) and a wonderful screenplay. Alejandro Amenabar is a true genius of our time. Great film! Nicole Kidman's best performance, over "Moulin Rouge!" or "The Hours" or "To die for", this is it.

There are thousands of ways you can watch this movie and all of them as just as good as the next one. I watched it twice this weekend so I can assure you I watched it both objectively and freakin-out-about-how-cool-it-is-ly.

*Serious Review:
Robert Rodriguez's homage to B-movies, grindhouse films, gore, exploitation and sexy legless chicks could've gone the wrong way by just filming a 70's B-movie with cheesy, over-the-top performances and bad quality visual effects and make-up. Or, of course, paying a real homage by using all the budget, resources and talent he's able to get and putting them to work in favor of a truly exciting plotline with awesome (like in "drooling awesomeness" awesome) dialogues and interesting, wicked characters so that both audiences familiarized with 70's exploitation films and the modern/younger ones looking for some cool explosions would enjoy the film without thinking too much... or just keeping on laughing and cheering at all the cool stuff surrounding the adventure of a group of people surviving a zombie massacre. (I use the word "cool" a lot in this review but how else would you describe this movie?)

Surprisingly enough, there's room for excellent performances in this whole bloody mess, mostly because of the dialogues sweating Tarantino/Rodriguez genius all over. Just like with "Sin City", Rodriguez somehow (don't ask me why) manages to suck emotions and talent out of, otherwise, talentless actresses like Marley Shelton (terrific and hilarious with her broken wrist) and Rose McGowan (in the role of a lifetime) and, of course, giving tremendous opportunities to amazing actors that haven't had enough chances in Hollywood like the always great Freddy Rodriguez playing one of the most badass, sexy motherfuckers I've ever seen on film: El Wray.

Overall, you realize the limits between "quality filmmaking" and "B-series exploitation shit" are broken with the last Rodriguez masterpiece (as we all know by now that there will be more to come) when good acting, great visual effects, disgusting make-up, cool dialogues, interesting plotlines, wicked sense of humour and a sincere homage to a lost genre collide into "Planet Terror", the next best zombie shit.

The opening sequence? A dream.

*Hysterical Review:
OMFG! THIS MOVIE'S THE SHIZZLE! (whatever that means) AWEEEESOME!

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Recommendations? Watch with Audience Reaction Track, included on the DVD. Delicious stuff. Delicious.

It just doesn't get old...

*Review coming soon*

Absolutely MORE than just a horror movie.

*Review coming soon*