The Dirty Batch

Now THIS is the half of the Grindhouse feature your gonna want to see. Rose McGowan is incredibly sexy, (even with one leg) and oddly funny. The characters are fun and enjoyable with plenty of stupid and sickening special effects.As for all that homage nonsense, you might actually grasp the concept when you watch it, unlike the painful Death Proof. Also unlike Death Proof, Planet Terror is packed with gun battles, gore, zombies and other totally awesome shit often enough to actually entertain, rather than bore the balls off you. Planet Terror has downed a bottle of steroids, snorted 10 lines of coke and been unleashed upon the movie universe in a sweet, insane, frothing frenzy.

Justins Best Bit: So many I cant be bothered to type them all.

Fucking cool! Beautifully intertwined story's make for an entertaining hour or so indeed.

Justins Best Bit: "English....Motherfucker.....can.......you........speak it?!?!"

This movie is in my prestigiouse faves, excellent directing and plenty of blood. The characters are fantastic and the acting is superb. Also possesing the three essential G's for a movie, Guns, Girls and Gore.

Patrick Swazy's ultimate best movie he ever did (asides from Point Break). Perfect for your trucker dad, your biker uncle, and everyone inbetween whos after everything that makes a good mans movie.

Justins Best Bit: Way too many to count, tearing out a mans throat with your hands, bloke who shares his wife for a fee, this movie is full of best bits.

This is a definitive man movie. From the opening credits to the slightly crappy ending, bam its action all the way. Not even any time for character development, which is cool when your driving through a mall or taunting a motorbike cop like a child.

Justins Best Bit: The determination of Chelios to kill the rat sack bastard who poisined him.

Not only was this funny, but it had some pretty awsome violence too. A well crafted fillum!

Justins Best Bit: "What the hell is that?"

"Its me Brim Gun!"

A powerfully gritty action movie, not for the faint of heart.

Justins Best Bit: Howards Saints just desserts.

Sam Jacksons characters have always been that of some kind of biblical teacher, who can cryptically and powerfully talk his way out of the gun pointed at his face. This is one of his best roles, and accompanied by a chained half naked nymphomaniac Christina Ricci its entertainment from start to finish. This is good because, like with any of Sam Jacksons characters you take a little something special away from it. Times that by a million and you get Black Snake Moan.

Justins Best Bit: Sam L wailing away the song Black Snake Moan on his blues electric guitar, and the song he does in the bar, and Christina Ricci half naked, and Christinna Ricci two thirds naked, AND proving Justin Timberlake is a whiny little bitch.

Nicolas Cage is widely known to be a seriouse petrol head, so this type of high speed thrill riding would be like a wet dream for him. Throwing in the heaving bosom of Angie is also a major plus. Plotlines like this one, some kind of actual task, or completing one awesome thing after another are extremely good.

Justins Best Bit: The Shelby Mustang GT500

Gotta respect a guy who can kill you with naught but a carrot. Basic Plot Synopsis: Clive Owen eats carrot, shoots guys who chase after a pregnant lady, kills guy with carrot, Monica Belluci adds token female cleavage (best cleavage ever!) Bad guys get dominated by Clive Owen, who eats another carrot and bangs Monica Belluci while killing more bad guys and uttering dry one liners. Lots of carrots, lots of flying metal, lots of pulp fiction esque awesomeness, only with much more mayhem. Very light on any character development, which i guess is an appropriate space maker for so many gun battles. Pretty much just "Crank" with Clive Owen instead of Jason Statham, but with differences. DIFFERENCES I TELLS YA!

Justins Best Bit: My hands are encased within a cast, but i can still kill bad guys with a gun and my trusty carrot!

This is brilliant movie making. Even though it is nearly impossible to reference to people about which one the bad guy is. The whole concept of a terrorist and an FBI agent switching faces and lives is great to watch. Seeing how the both cope living on the other side, and then facing eachother on either side of a mirror is just great. Also sporting an emotive and ironic ending, with loads upon loads of kick ass explosions, gun battles and personality.

Justins Best Bit: The showdown on the harbour.

The (hopefull not) final in the series, its also the most gory. A superb way to finish off a master quadrilogy.

Balls to the wall action awesomeness. Humor, cool gun flicking manouvers and knife throwing maniacs make this a heap of fun to be had. Fantastic, spicy storyline and memorable moments like Quinten Tarantino's bar joke.

Justins Best Bit: Knowing exactl what Antonio Banderas was thinking when that explosion went off behind him. "I am so cool right now i shit aviator sunglasses".

Pretty damn cool and stylish. Didnt focus as much as i thought it would on the assasins desperately trying to kill Buddy Israel, chasing him all over the country, so i was a little dissapointed in that aspect. The storyline was a little unessescary considering what it was advertised as, they could have split it down the middle and made two completely different movies. Still, this is jam packed with extra cool, creepy, and mad as a fucken hatter assasins, all seperately vying for the valuble hit. Awesome fun, and the ending, just after the hit and the big revelation are fantastic. Cool!

Justins Best Bit: The mentalist neo-nazi assasins going berserk, invincible and terrifying!.

Potentially the awesomest slasher flick ever, second ONLY to the Saw series. If the first was this hardcore, i simply cannot wait for its gruesome sequal. Top marks for Eli Roth.

Justins Best Bit: Violent children who kill you if you dont give them cady. And the chick getting dominated by the car grill. Revenge never tasted so bloody.

The best of the series. Better storyline, acting, characters and battles.

Justins Best Bit: The wild kid and his boomerang.

Heres a gnarly piece of work. This looks set to ignite an all out war between Hostel and Saw, and with Hostel 2, Eli Roth is off to a good start leading the splat pack. This is very well made, and is scary not just in the creepy killers, but in the way that all over the world, normal people are in on the shady doings. There is a good transition between the two storylines being followed, and a saddening and provoking undertone. Saddening in the way that it seems quite beleivable that this could be going on, thats how convincing it is. Packed with gruesome death scenes, and a pretty good twist, Hostel 2 is a top notch stomach churner, right up there with Saw.

Justins Best Bit: The final ten minutes of the movie is extremely horrifying and at the same time funny in a sickening way. Horrifying: The penis cutting, Funny: The decapitation soccer. GOOOOAAAL!!!Awesome!

While Antonio and cast are still in a mode of ultra coolness, Depp has a terrible problem with stealing movies for himself. He definately knows how to nail the cooler characters. As with its prequals, this has layers and layers of irony and meaning for those who know where to look. Unreleanting action, awesomely cool!

Justins Best Bit: Any scene with Depps character after he loses his eyes. Some lines to watch out for include..."Ever see one of these? No? Ever used one? Dont because they are very very bad, now what i need you to do is.....

Now here is a good horror movie, saddled perfectly with and insanely brilliant killer.

Justins Best Bit: Going crazy, and cutting off your own leg with a hacksaw.

Even better than the first. The same sort of uniqueness the first one had, but simply with more blood.

Justins Best Bit: Finding the needle in the haystack.

Gruesome beyond beleif, but incredibly inventive and clever. Something for two genre's, both like their movies with a few................twists.

Justins Best Bit: The Rack! Horrific, and origional.

The saw franchise has a reputation for being gnarly, and number four doesent dissapoint. The great thing about these movies is that while incredibly nerve wracking and gruesome, they are very very clever in their carnage. Imaginative traps, and a twist you know is coming, but its still completely unexpected. This gives a really good back story on jigsaw and creates a fantastic ambience of its genre. It can at times be quite confusing though, as to who is who and what thier intentions are and thier connections with everything. And occasionally the dynamics of the traps are not focused on well enough. That being said, and despite the most beige and crappiest tagline ever, Saw 4 looks set to ignite Saw 5 and probably 6. Lets hope that happens.

Justins Best Bit: Without giving away too much, there are three best bits. The knife face trap, which is beleived to be jigsaws very first. The death of the rapist fat guy, whos horrific and well deserved fate made me smile with glee. And finally the guy who looks like hes going to get hanged, but he doesent.....Good old Ice. Watch it!

Yeah its a damn Tarantino movie, and we all know what that means. A shitload of talking and character building. Either you enjoy the diolauge or you fast forward it, we all know that. If your willing to sit through the entire thing, as with most Tarantino movies you do eventualy get rewarded with cool shit, but you have to be willing to either wait or fast forward.

Justins Best Bit: Your Mr. Pink! "Why do I gotta be Mr. Pink?