Recent Reviews for Anaconda
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MCT:August 21, 2008A hunter kidnaps a National Geographic so they can help him on his quest to capture the world's deadliest serpent. A 'whatever' film that just doesn't cut it in my books. Not convincing.
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MCT:August 17, 2008
Oh my god as bad as this movie is I can't turn it off if it's on and I have no idea why...maybe there is some mind power behind those computer generated eyes of theirs
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MCT:August 9, 2008A pretty horrible and cheesy movie. But should definetely be on the list for every fan of "b-rated" film.
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MCT:July 30, 2008
nice, nice... foguh impediram.m d ver esse movie pk dava bué medo... qndo finalmnt vi... possas... k decepção... cadê o medo???
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MCT:July 28, 2008Come on, you just gotta love this movie. A very bizarre cast including J-Lo, Jon Voight, Ice Cube, and Owen Wilson lead this creature feature that is high in cheese! Surprisingly good acting, mostly good special effects, stunning locations are all the highlights of this movie. And I must say that I found this quite scary, but that might be because I'm terrified of snakes. Fun movie!
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MCT:July 25, 2008It was really exciting. Every actor in the movie did really well. It has some scary scenes. I like it, yeah nice movie.
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MCT:July 21, 2008"If you can't breathe - you can't scream"
Says it all really...... This is only good due to the fact it is THAT poor. Voight is a dream at being abysmal. -
MCT:July 15, 2008
Decent B-movie that is basically a remake of CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. As is often the case in monster movies from the 90's, the cG effects are pretty lousy. The film is also almost completely inaccurate in everything it says about anacondas.
The definitive giant snake film has yet to be made. -
MCT:July 12, 2008An ok monster movie the acting wasn't great Ice Cubes acting was quite bad, Jon Voight and Jonathan Hyde did the best job the best thing was the effects.
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MCT:July 6, 2008
i thought it was neat when that one guy jumped out of the waterfall and the snake caught him overall the movie was supenseful
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MCT:June 28, 2008great movie and sci-fi..snakes they come in all sizes huh? i don't want to meet this one anyway.. great movie to watch.
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MCT:June 27, 2008
Piss-Poor low budget type monster flick. Only worth watching Jon Voight get eaten by the snake. Wish it was J.Lo that was eaten though! LOL
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MCT:June 22, 2008Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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MCT:June 15, 2008
Acceptable effects and an interesting performance by Jon Voight fail to make much of a movie which suffers by poor acting and a lifeless story.
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MCT:June 13, 2008
Sure the actual anacondas are horribly fake, but the movie wasn't that bad. Jon Voight was great as the bad guy, but it really needed some better roles. JLo and Ice Cube were shit and should of died.
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MCT:June 7, 2008Good monster movie. Got to love them. The bad ass parts are 1. when the panther gets its eye popt out and 2. when you see Owen Wilson's face thru the anaconda's skin. lf only lce Cube had gotten eaten.
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MCT:June 6, 2008
Im a sucker for movies which have animals stalking and killing humans. Its a basic idea that neve rtries to be more than it is. Simple sometimes stupid action where you know 90% of the cast is going to be eaten or killed just gotta work out who 1st. Pure cheese and so over the top i love Anaconda!
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MCT:June 5, 2008
A giant snake in the Amazon, people being eaten, an awful cast and a crappy dialogue. Now you get: Anaconda.
SMALL SPOILERS
The only part I enjoyed of the film was Owen Wilson being eaten since I %/&$%& hate that guy!
END OF SMALL SPOILERS
64/100 -
MCT:May 30, 2008
if you get bite by a snake it is ok but how does it feel when the snake become anaconda and you become her meal
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MCT:May 26, 2008
Anaconda wasn't a very good movie. Some scenes were a bit exciting, but bad acting and a stupid plot made this movie hard to watch.
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iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiih lopez i wouldnt even admit this crap on my resume slummin city must have needed the check
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MCT:May 21, 2008
wow i have seen about 20-30 mins of this movie...this movie has really scared me because i am so really scared of spiders/snakes because they really creep/freak me out...the director of this Action & Adventure, Mystery & Suspense
movie has done a good job of directing this movie because you never know what 2 expect throughout this movie... -
MCT:May 17, 2008
I saw this in the drve in theater with my bff & actually got bored of it very quickly...so quick that we went to one of the other screens to watch Howard Stern's Private Parts. Not scary at all!!!
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MCT:May 6, 2008
"This film was supposed to be my big break, and it turned out to be a big disaster!" (This is actually a quote from the movie. Little did they know they were actually predicting the future)
Before I finally watched Anaconda I was decisively aware of the pasting and criticisms surrounding the production. I don't think I heard even one good thing about the movie. I sometimes enjoy seeking out simple reasonably short (80 or 90-minute) films I know will be crappy. And so equipped with warnings and bad reviews to boot I decided to finally watch it.
Anaconda is a campy, appalling B-Grade horror fest that is every bit as bad as I heard it was. From start to finish, the film is plagued by a dismal script loaded with stereotypical conventions, predictability and despicable characters. The visual effects look embarrassing, with an anaconda that moves like a flimsy animatronic and isn't in the least bit convincing. While watching this "thriller" (I use the term loosely) I was closer to tears of laughter as opposed to shock.
Anaconda follows a documentary crew that head out on the Amazon River to make a documentary concerning a mythical Indian civilisation. While heading upriver, they pick up poacher Paul Sarone (Voight, in his worst performance to date) who surreptitiously plans to use the boat + crew to hunt a large anaconda. As predicted, instead of the original plan the crew become snake bait as they are terrorised by a forty foot anaconda lurking beneath the water.
If you're going to take this film seriously, turn your arse around and go rent something else. Anaconda is seemingly played out for laughs, and if the filmmakers intended to make it serious...they missed the mark completely. The antics of the snake we see in the film are absurd. Every time the snake turns up, there are more factually impossible things that continue adding to the already massive pile of criticisms about the film. These factually impossible snake mannerisms include the thing refusing to die after being blown up, burnt and shot in the head (without a mere scratch, that is).
Performances are all dreadful; following the standard characters clichés (including the most despicable characters dying first, there's someone who wants to catch the snake instead of killing it, the big-breasted girl who's there for show, etc) not to mention the costume design is even dull!
But wait, there's more - each character could be outsmarted by a 5-year-old, the visual effects get worse as time goes on, the "scares" aren't even effective, there's no intensity, when the snake attacks things it made me laugh, the snake is "voiced" by an actor, and the film is almost painful to watch. I could go into so much detail but I think I've pretty much hammered the point convincingly.
At the end of the day, I am aware that Anaconda was meant to be a bit of fun. But...it's not. Instead we're treated to something that is so painfully appalling it couldn't pass as a home movie.
