Battleship (2012)

Featured Audience Ratings

• Phil H

  
  'they ain't gonna sink this battleship no way!' So without talking too much about the classic boardgame from my childhood this is BATTLESHIP! Aliens come to earth and land in the sea near some US battleships, they are unfriendly, the ships engage in sea warfare and the… More
  'they ain't gonna sink this battleship no way!' So without talking too much about the classic boardgame from my childhood this is BATTLESHIP! Aliens come to earth and land in the sea near some US battleships, they are unfriendly, the ships engage in sea warfare and the humans win (check..the Americans save the world). Is that a spoiler? no no no no no, well yes but I think I can safely say everyone should realise this. So 'Independence Day' at sea you say? well your pretty darn right mateys, this is indeed a complete rip of that errr classic alien invasion flick. The film is VERY by the numbers in every department, unbelievably cliched to the hilt and really very stupid. Oh and I forgot in this film they don't get the President to muck in oh no, they get all the old age ex-sailor pensioners to get stuck in haha ave it! Is it good? hmmm well sort of, you know what will happen every bloody inch of the way no question, Taylor Kitsch's character is utterly predictable with his rebellious ways at first, then drafted into the Navy (this doesn't feel right), still a bit of a 'Jack the lad' in service, but turns into a leader of men when the shit hits the fan, grrrr leader of MEN!. Casting Rihanna really didn't help this film one bit, right from the get go it gave the film a bad vibe of tacky sci-fi, she is also in damn near every fudging shot! plus she isn't that pretty looking without her usual swathes of makeup. Neeson is the other big name...why? dunno, lets move on. OK so the effects are average really, the cgi on show isn't much, it doesn't look as nice as previous alien invasion films in my view. Does the job but overall the alien ships are uninspired and look like a cross between 'Transformer' toys and 'Zoids' toys (yep that's an 80's thing), didn't wanna mention Transformers but I had to . The aliens themselves look a bit poor to be honest, humanoid with dumb facial expressions and these daft looking goatees on their chins that look like a patch of sea anemones. Their suits are better and made me think of 'Halo' somewhat, some nice futuristic spacesuit designs going on with 'Predator' vision inside their visors. Again the weaponry the aliens use was uninspired and dull, their ships fire these boring shaped canister things that hit their targets but do nothing, after a few seconds they then explode...like wow! I since found out they are suppose to be shaped like the pegs in the boardgame of which this is based, yeah kinda stupid idea right there. They also fire 'Sonic the Hedgehog' type mechanical metallic 'fury ball/disc' things that seem to have a mind of their own and zip all over the show seemingly blowing things up when they make contact.  In short I'm sure the aliens could of destroyed all the humans very quickly if they really wanted to. I can see what they have tried to do here and I don't blame them with the aliens/alien invasion obsession doing the rounds but its just come along too late. Completely zilch originality so don't go expecting anything new and cool looking but it is reasonably pretty looking at times. The football (soccer) game at the start is hilariously bad (all football wise UK viewers I'm sure will agree) and stay till after the end credits for an extra scene (sequel much?). Nice try for a cash in on the current bandwagon but these things don't always work do they (-_-), strike two for Kitsch (who is this guy?) and will Hollywood ever learn? stupid question that really. This battleship has well n truly sunk...zing!

• KJ P

  
  As the annual Naval War Games are underway, scientists are experimenting in space, which creates a portal, sending alien ships onto the sea. Another wrong place at the wrong time occurrence, because we never really find out why they are there in the first place, or why they begin a… More
  As the annual Naval War Games are underway, scientists are experimenting in space, which creates a portal, sending alien ships onto the sea. Another wrong place at the wrong time occurrence, because we never really find out why they are there in the first place, or why they begin a war on earth. Inevitably, we reach the climax, when they start paying a homage to the board game, which was nice, but there is so much wrong with this film in it's core, and on it's surface, that I really didn't care who won in the end, even though it's obvious. In the end, the acting is atrocious (with a few exceptions), the cinematography looks like it came straight from a Michael Bay handbook, the dialogue is absolutely dreadful, but the visuals are quite glamourous, and the action is well paced. "Battleship" is by no means a good film, but I wouldn't go as far as saying it is a bad movie either. There is so much wrong with it, but at times, it is a fun ride. "Battleship" didn't totally sink, it had a bit of luck on it's side.

• Nate Z

  
  On the surface, the classic board game Battleship would seem like a rather peculiar property to develop into a feature film. Unless someone was going the crafty Das Boot route, why would anybody even want to adapt the board game? And for that matter, why would anyone want to adapt the… More
  On the surface, the classic board game Battleship would seem like a rather peculiar property to develop into a feature film. Unless someone was going the crafty Das Boot route, why would anybody even want to adapt the board game? And for that matter, why would anyone want to adapt the game and add killer aliens from outer space? Well actor-turned-director Peter Berg looked at the classic board game with the little pegs and the declarations of battleships sunk and said, "There's a big summer movie in there." With a hefty budget of $200 million, which is becoming alarmingly the norm for summer tent pole releases, Berg's efforts have given birth to Battleship: The Movie. If it becomes a hit maybe it will start a trend. Who wouldn't want to see Hungry, Hungry Hippos as a monster movie, or Connect Four as a searing domestic drama about alcoholism? Off the Hawaiian Islands, the Navy is conducting an annual series of international war games in the Pacific. Oh but little did they expect to have to combat intergalactic foes. Alien spaceships crash land to Earth, emerging from the Pacific and creating a force field barrier. Along for the high seas action are the stoic Stone Hopper (Alexander Skarsgard), his screw-up little brother Alex (Taylor Kitsch), a Japanese captain (Tadanobu Asano), and a mess of other Navy personnel, including pop star Rihanna. On the other side of that force field is Alex's girlfriend, Samantha (Brooklyn Decker), a naval physical therapist who finds herself in the middle of the aliens communications plans. The handful of Navy ships, some American and some Japanese, must figure out a way to topple the aliens before they get their communications up and running to broadcast that Earth is ripe for the taking. For some, Battleship will be the symbol of everything wrong with big-budget Hollywood film making, a perceived slapdash effort meant to appeal to as many mass markets as possible, combining clichés and empty action sequences into a cacophony of noise deigned entertainment. And for most of those charges, I cannot defend Battleship. It has its fair share of clichés, gaps in logic, and some especially corny moments (WWII geezers save the day!). And yet, I found myself becoming entranced by Berg's siren song, laughing at the comic relief, enjoying the stock characters enough to root for their triumphs, and having a total gas with the action sequences. I was shocked at how much fun I was having with Battleship. Perhaps that means that from a mechanical standpoint it knows all the pinpoints of the summer blockbuster model and knows how to craft a satisfying crowd-pleaser of an action movie. Or perhaps it just means I have lost my mind. Or maybe this is Berg's expertly crafted satire of the Michael Bay School of filmmaking, brilliantly capturing the beautiful bombast and cheery jingoism of Bay's career, especially when those salty WWII vets get to strut in slow motion. A movie based upon the board game Battleship is clearly not meant to be taken seriously, and Berg's nautical adventure wants nothing more than to entertain the masses. Whatever the case may be, Battleship, weirdly enough works, and for some significant stretches, it works really well in the mold of summer spectacle. I'm relieved that Berg has left behind his rigid docu-drama cinema verite approach he's patterned after working on 2004's Friday Night Lights. Berg's verite style felt completely mismatched with 2008's Hancock, an inexplicable global hit. With Battleship, Berg's cameras settle down and give you plenty of action to soak up. Berg's first foray into action, 2003's The Rundown, was like the announcement of a great new talent and the herald of The Rock's ascent in action. I've been waiting for Berg to return to that style he displayed with The Rundown, a slick, highly stylized flair, brimming with robust energy that popped at all the right moments. Thankfully, with his biggest budget yet, it's like the return of the old Berg. Perhaps it's just a reaction against the overindulgence of the "shaky cam" action style popularized by the Paul Greengrass Bourne films, but it's nice to be able to actually follow what is happening. Berg's cameras find different and exciting ways to frame the action. I enjoyed the speedy zoom outs to illustrate the size of the field of battle. The visuals really do feel like Berg is parlaying Bay's shooting style, the tawny glow of people's skin, especially women, a.k.a. sex objects, the fetishized ogling of giant toys/military hardware, the soaring camera. But unlike most of Bay's pedigree, it's spectacle on a mass scale without turning into a glorified video game. The action in Battleship is huge but never dull. The scale of the demolition does not get out of hand because the movie works in shifts, focusing on pockets of action before ramping up to something even bigger and better. The alien tech, particularly the spheroids that munch through metal like the Langoliers (please, somebody tell me they remember that Stephen King TV movie), is impressively powerful without feeling completely over matched. Being totally obliterated in the movies has its own thrill, but seeing a slug fest between man and alien is more compelling. Watching the Navy go blow-for-blow and eventually triumph through ingenuity in the face of adverse odds makes for some pretty satisfying action. The Navy is learning through trial and, much, error about how to combat these alien antagonists. I enjoyed the tactile nature of the battles. I must say I found the film to be weirdly informative about the attack features of naval war vessels. I don't know if its genius or absurd that the movie finds a way to organically squeeze in the actual Battleship game play (the alien bombs also look like pegs from the board game). The aliens are something of a mystery and kept that way. When we do see them minus their Halo helmets, you wish they kept those helmets on. They have some unexplained moral code, as we cut to alien POVs that scan for threats, choosing to spare innocent lives in other circumstances. When the alien spacecraft fist appear, they take up position in a row and wait for their Earthly challengers to strike. It reminded me of the fighting sequences in turn-based RPG video games. These aliens are more sporting than your typical interstellar advanced civilization just interested in conquest. These aliens are into turn-based RPGs. These aliens are nerds. With all that surprising praise now established, Battleship the movie is still chock full of ridiculous moments and a rather leaky plot. The subplot involving a double-amputee veteran getting back his groove via alien invasion never feels well grafted to the major storyline. It feels like it was crowbarred in after the producers or Berg saw real-life double-amputee Gregory D. Gadson and declared, "This man needs to be in a movie." He's likeable enough but over the course of 130 minutes you realize likeable isn't the same as being a skilled actor. This entire subplot involving Gadson, Samantha, and a computer techie (the amusing Hamish Linklater) strains credulity even for a dumb action movie. The fact that three easily overmatched people can take out a load of well-armed aliens with little more than a Jeep and a briefcase mitigates the life-and-death stakes at sea. If these alien bad guys can lose so stupidly, then what's the hold up? Also, the movie inserts a lot of bizarre tension between Japan and the U.S., like it's trying to iron out the last unresolved conflict from the Second World War. The term "inelegant" cannot come close to describing the nativsm conflict and its dopey resolution. And then there's the fact that the movie is long giant recruitment ad for the U.S. Navy. I suppose after the Marines had their own alien-fighting flick/recruitment ad last year (Battle: Los Angeles), the other branches of the armed services felt left out. I pray no one ever enlists over something this silly. No major life decisions should be made over the big screen adaptation of Battleship, people. There's a paucity of solid characters here. We get the bad boy younger brother who will discover his mettle and leadership by the end (by the by: having characters keep talking about how much "potential" somebody has is the annoying non-fantasy equivalent of talking about a prophecy being fulfilled). Kitsch comes off better than he did in Disney's costly flop John Carter, but he seems too stiff and sullen for a leading man. If Battleship sinks, expect his leading man status to get dry-docked (okay, I'll lay off the puns). Decker (Just Go with It) is still working out the kinks of transitioning from model to actress. Her romance with Kitsch is about as contrived as these things get in big action movies, a pathetic bone thrown to a deflated female audience who would rather see Decker in What to Expect When You're Expecting. The additional seamen, including Rihanna's acting debut (insert your "S.O.S." joke here), are given one-note to play for over two hours. And as far as Ms. Umbrella-ella-ella is concerned, it's certainly not the worst acting debut by a pop star (see: Crossroads, or better yet, don't). Most disappointing is Neeson (Taken) who spends the far, far majority of the movie on the wrong side of the force field. I want this guy kicking ass and not barking impotently into a phone. I don't know if I can look myself in the mirror and declare, with solemn dignity, that Battleship is a good movie by the normal standards of objective excellence. Screw it, I had far too much fun with this film to stand back and pretend the movie's flaws are too overpowering. Berg has slapped together what may be the most formulaic, pinpointed Big Summer Movie I've witnessed in some time, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't win me over. They may be pushing buttons but Berg and company pushes them so well. Plus, I'm still uncertain whether or not the entire bloated affair is really the most expensive, subversive swipe at Michael Bay ever attempted. This is probably just wishful thinking from a critic looking to justify liking this movie. It's got plenty of action, though doled out into bite-sized portions before the ACDC "Thunderstruck" montage ramps up the finale. Every now and then, you need a movie that gives you the right kind of stupid, and Battleship is the right kind of stupid for the summer movie season. Nate's Grade: B

• Julie B

  
  Don't judge me. This was awesome. Filled with dramatic blinking, dripping wet men in uniform and slo-mo alien butt-kicking.

• Kristijonas F

  
  Quite possibly one of dumbest, loudest and cheesiest action movies I've seen in quite some time, Battleship is also extremely hilarious and a thoroughly entertaining affair. The loyalty and support the movie displays for US Navy Sailors of the past and present is heartwarming,… More
  Quite possibly one of dumbest, loudest and cheesiest action movies I've seen in quite some time, Battleship is also extremely hilarious and a thoroughly entertaining affair. The loyalty and support the movie displays for US Navy Sailors of the past and present is heartwarming, and the humor, while stemming from obvious inconsistencies between the film Navy and our actual Service Branch, was really refreshing. Unfortunately, most civilians probably won't understand most of these amusing nuances that my Navy brethren and I did... Which will make it that much easier to dismiss this film as a worthless experience (which it most certainly was not).

• Manu G

  
  The battle for Earth begins at sea. Excellent Movie!!! Battleship delivered a bonafided block buster, that will not be forgotten for some time to come. This movie is a well paced combination of old and new, big and small. The old fashioned style sea battle with co-ordinates and… More
  The battle for Earth begins at sea. Excellent Movie!!! Battleship delivered a bonafided block buster, that will not be forgotten for some time to come. This movie is a well paced combination of old and new, big and small. The old fashioned style sea battle with co-ordinates and missiles is well blended with modern technology, aliens and photography. The action sequences combine big naval battles and destruction scenes in Hong Kong and Hawaii with smaller scale hand to hand confrontations with aliens.All in all, it is definitely a guilty pleasure. You know you shouldn't enjoy it as much as you do, but you cant help it, it's funny, loads of thrills and stuff blowing up, has a real charm to it and is played very well with what could have been quite clunky dialogue. I had a great time watching this movie and would recommend it to anyone. Alex Hopper is a talented but undisciplined slacker. His brother Stone, a naval Commander, forces Hopper to join the Navy. Hopper becomes a lieutenant on the USS John Paul Jones DDG-53, sister-ship to his brother's command, the USS Sampson DDG-102. Hopper also falls in love with Admiral Shane's daughter, Samantha, and wants to marry her, but is afraid of asking her father's permission, as he doesn't like Hopper. During the RIMPAC opening ceremony, Hopper gets into a brawl with Captain Nagata of the Japanese Maritime Self Defense Force, in charge of JDS Myoko DDG-175. Hopper soon learns that he is to be kicked out of the Navy at the end of RIMPAC. Meanwhile, Samantha accompanies Army veteran and amputee Mick Canales on a hike on Oahu in order to help him adapt to his prosthetic legs. A small fleet of alien ships arrives in response to the NASA signal. One ship collides with an orbital satellite and crashes in Hong Kong, while five others land in the waters near Hawaii. The aliens erect a massive forcefield around the islands, trapping a number of American, Japanese and other sovereignty's warships, including Hopper's ship. The aliens attack, destroying Nagata and Stone's ships. Hopper's superiors are killed, leaving him in command of the John Paul Jones. Captain Nagata and some of his crew members are rescued from the waters and assists the Americans in setting up a discreet way to track the aliens using wave-detection buoys. During a night-time battle, the aliens and the Americans exchange pot shots, but Hopper manages to sink two alien ships. They rescue an alien from the water. They discover the aliens are very sensitive to sun light and have to wear filters during the day. Using this knowledge, Hopper attacks another alien ship at dawn, using a sniper rifle with Nagata to breach their cockpit window and blind them with sunlight. Both ships are destroyed in the battle. A group of alien footsoldiers and scientists lands on Oahu and attack the NASA communications array. Samantha and Mick narrowly avoid their detection, and run into a fleeing NASA scientist. Because the aliens' communications ship crashed in Hong Kong, the aliens plan to use the NASA array to signal their home planet to invade Earth. Realizing that a larger invasion might be imminent, Samantha manages to get a radio and warns Hopper of the threat. Having no better options, the surviving crew of the John Paul Jones return to harbor and board the USS Missouri BB-63, a 70-year old decommissioned battleship that has been converted into a museum. With the aid of the museum staff, all elderly war veterans, Hopper manages to put the Missouri out to sea again. With some clever maneuvers, the Missouri destroys the last alien ship and shells the communications array, destroying the aliens and ending the threat of invasion. Back on shore, the crew and Mick all get medals, including a posthumous one to Stone, after the ceremony, Adm. Shane leads Hopper off to discuss his 'Terms of Surrender' over a meal.

• Tyler C

  
  Insanely loud, stupid, dumb, poorly written, and all too familiar to what has been wrong with well over 50% of the summer blockbusters that release each year.

• Keith A

  
  "Battleship" is the kind of summer entertainment that truly asks you to suspend your disbelief for 2 hours! The story can definitely get a little mindless at times but this is a movie that knows what it is: a fun popcorn flick that doesn't take itself too seriously!

• Sophie B

  
  I don't care what the critics say, I absolutely loved it. Yeah, it's nothing new or innovative, but it made me feel something. It had a great atmosphere and was tense and exhilarating at the same time. The sea shots were brilliant (I am an ocean fan) and it left me feeling… More
  I don't care what the critics say, I absolutely loved it. Yeah, it's nothing new or innovative, but it made me feel something. It had a great atmosphere and was tense and exhilarating at the same time. The sea shots were brilliant (I am an ocean fan) and it left me feeling completely behind the US Navy (something I would never have said before). The actual aliens are interesting and made well (although unoriginal) but the best thing is probably the soundtrack. Amazing.

• Tsubaki S

  
  I can't remember a single thing from this, and i saw it like 2 hours ago. Aside that Tadanobu Asano was in this for some reason, and surprisingly enough, he's not a bad guy, and he survives. In terms of blockbusters, is not the Avengers, but is neither a Transformers, it… More
  I can't remember a single thing from this, and i saw it like 2 hours ago. Aside that Tadanobu Asano was in this for some reason, and surprisingly enough, he's not a bad guy, and he survives. In terms of blockbusters, is not the Avengers, but is neither a Transformers, it sits somewhere in the middle.

• Aaron N

  
  Old Navy Guy: They're not gonna sink this battleship! The trickiest thing about writing a review for Battleship, the film based on the popular board game, which now pits Tim Riggins of Mars against a fleet of aliens that challenge the Navy to deadly war games...or something, is… More
  Old Navy Guy: They're not gonna sink this battleship! The trickiest thing about writing a review for Battleship, the film based on the popular board game, which now pits Tim Riggins of Mars against a fleet of aliens that challenge the Navy to deadly war games...or something, is capturing why I did not really care for the film as much as I did other, similar films. It is a loud, $200 million, alien invasion flick, with lots of stuff that goes boom throughout its 2-hour runtime. It is perfectly suitable for the summertime, yet I did not have that much fun as I would have liked with it. Having recently seen New York get toppled (The Avengers), Chicago get blasted (Transformers: Dark of the Moon), and Los Angeles become a blown out war zone (Battle: LA), I think I am just a little tired of this. Battleship does not attempt to do anything new with this kind of film and aside from having a higher appreciation for the military, director Peter Berg does little to r make this film really stand ahead of Michael "Boom Boom" Bay's alien robot adventures. Battleship is less a terrible film and more a film that seems to be hitting me at a point where its type fatigues me. read the whole review at thecodeiszeek.com

• Everett J

  
  The previews for "Battleship" make it look like "Transformers" in water basically, and that is about dead on. This is a full on alien invasion type movie, only it takes place in the ocean against the navy in battleships. Not the most complicated story idea, but… More
  The previews for "Battleship" make it look like "Transformers" in water basically, and that is about dead on. This is a full on alien invasion type movie, only it takes place in the ocean against the navy in battleships. Not the most complicated story idea, but perfect for summer movie fun. The movie is loaded with cliches, great effects, and good action scenes. The acting on the other hand, is something to be desired. Taylor Kitsch("John Carter") stars as Lt. Alex Hopper, who is a loose cannon, and after the initial attack is left in charge to battle the aliens. All he wants to do is not screw up anymore and impress his hopeful father-in-law played by Liam Neeson. Neeson is awesome, but only in the movie for like 10 minutes. Would much rather he been the hero battling the aliens. "Taken vs. Aliens" would have been awesome! This really is on par with the "Transformers" movies in terms of quality and fun. Obviously not gonna win any Oscars, but if you just want to have a good time, with a bowl of popcorn, then this is a great movie to do it with.

• Mike S

  
  Big-budget special effects: Check! Patriotic cheese: Check! A script full of holes and nonsense, that yet somehow manages to be entertaining? Yup, that's a check on that too! This is a movie designed for all the Transformers fans out there, with all the good and bad that comes… More
  Big-budget special effects: Check! Patriotic cheese: Check! A script full of holes and nonsense, that yet somehow manages to be entertaining? Yup, that's a check on that too! This is a movie designed for all the Transformers fans out there, with all the good and bad that comes with it. A flag-waving love letter to the U.S. Navy, that at times will make you cringe, but for the most part works as servicable fun. You'll probably not be surprised to hear that it's strong points are chiefly found within its technical elements. Top-of-the-line SFX and an excitement-boosting soundtrack (it's a cliché to throw in, but ACDC's "Thunderstruck" just never gets old), elevates the experience in typical Hollywood fashion. But is it worth your hard-earned money? I would say yes, though I can very much sympathize with those who are at a demand for more substance. Question marks are raised throughout, and no matter how much I try to make sense of things, it's impossible to come to any sort of logical conclusion. For example, if the aliens can create force fields around a mile-wide section of water, why not implement the same technology around their own ships as well? Or this really preposterous scene, where a stereotypically nerdy science guy (don't ask me to remember his name) runs into an alien-infested camp, grabs a valuable case, is discovered, but the alien neither makes any decent attempt to stop him, nor chases after him. I mean, what gives? All stupidity aside though, I really enjoyed it on the whole. Very hit-and-miss perhaps, but you can't really expect too much of a movie based on a pen-and-paper game. An eye-popping action spectacle, that keeps itself afloat thanks to an agreeable cast (you can never go wrong with Liam Neeson) and its bombastic, big-scale battles. Rihanna ain't too bad either in her movie screen debut. Not the most developed of roles, but she does the job sufficiently. So to summarize: A solid popcorn flick, that may not offer anything new, but is good while it lasts if you can endure the aforementioned misfires.

• Sanjaya &

  
  As Indonesian citizen, I'm really proud to say that our country honored to play 'Battleship' one month before the U.S. Release Date.. And wanna know what's my rating for this movie? Yup, it's a 4-star rated movie.. IMHO, when a movie like this being made I… More
  As Indonesian citizen, I'm really proud to say that our country honored to play 'Battleship' one month before the U.S. Release Date.. And wanna know what's my rating for this movie? Yup, it's a 4-star rated movie.. IMHO, when a movie like this being made I know that I should put aside my brain while watching it and just enjoy the fun and the action that the movie offers.. And I must gave credit for Peter Berg for made me and some of friends amazed with his work in this movie.. Not only the effects that this movie had, but the action that not far from 'Transformers'.. But for those of you who didn't like 'Transformers', then I warn you not to watch this movie as I think 'Transformers' still slightly better than this wrong-titled-movie (since half of the battle in this movie set in land)..

• Lorenzo v

  
  <i>"The Battle for Earth Begins at Sea"</i> A fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals. <center><font size=+2 face="Century… More
  <i>"The Battle for Earth Begins at Sea"</i> A fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals. <center><font size=+2 face="Century Schoolbook"><b><u>REVIEW</u></b></font></center> If you shoot messages at earth-type planets saying "Yoo hoo! Here we are!" then you mustn't be too surprised if the recipients turn up on your doorstep 10 minutes later looking to take the place over. In the case of Battleship, "on your doorstep" means "splashing down in the ocean just off Hawaii." The good news is that the combined navies of the world are involved in war games just off Hawaii. The bad news is that the aliens put up a force field dome which includes Hawaii but excludes all the navies except for 3 destroyers, two of which are taken out in fairly short order, leaving just the one which is under the command of feckless loser Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch). And the clock is ticking, because if the ETs manage to phone home then it will be all over for the human race. I suppose that if you can base movies on theme park rides (Pirates of the Caribbean) and toys (Transformers) then it's not unreasonable to base one on a board game. And there is, indeed, a sequence involving taking potshots at an opponent on a location grid. But mostly this film is lots of explosions as navy and aliens take turns at trying to pulverise the other side. If the eye candy of alien tech and destruction does it for you, then you are in for a real treat here. Because, apart from the winsome Brooklyn Decker who puts in an appearance from time to time, there is nothing else here of any substance whatsoever. The film is empty-headed, illogical drivel from start to finish, gung-ho to the extreme (the other navies might as well not be there, apart from one Japanese boat). The introduction of the Battleship itself, towards the end, raises a smile. The "anchor manoeuvre" (aka handbrake turn) is a hoot, albeit typical of the film's disregard for little things like the laws of physics. So I'm puzzled as to why I enjoyed it as much as I did - I didn't love it, but neither did I feel I'd wasted my time.

• Liam G

  
  Big? Yes. Dumb? Yes. Fun? No. This movie sinks.

• Joseph M

  
  Battleship does have elements of Michael Bay madness in it but contains enough of a plot and some interesting characters to be more than just another one of them expensive,explosive messes.

• Mark R

  
  Sitting in the theatre last night, a line from an old Tool song was rattling around in my brain. âOne great big, festering, neon distractionâ? was used by the band to describe the state of California, but the description couldn't be more apt for Peter Berg's BATTLESHIP. A… More
  Sitting in the theatre last night, a line from an old Tool song was rattling around in my brain. âOne great big, festering, neon distractionâ? was used by the band to describe the state of California, but the description couldn't be more apt for Peter Berg's BATTLESHIP. A deafening, blue and orange military recruitment tool, the film can't even sustain its laughably simple premise, and attempts to promote a message so unappealing to its target audience I was left questioning why it even exists. Story is the least important element here, so lets just say that in between all the sweeping helicopter shots and blinding lens flare, an international Naval war games exercise is interrupted by alien invaders, and it's up to reckless officer Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) to save the day. Kitsch delivers solid character work early on, but soon gets lost in the cacophony of bangs and seizure-inducing editing which leaves little room for the human story. Inexplicably added to the mix are pop star Rihanna, seemingly here for no other reason than, well, she's Rihanna, and Liam Neeson collecting his paycheck for around 10 minutes of screen time. But, as I said, we're not here for the story, rather the spectacular action and special effects right? The bad news is that when the aliens finally show up, BATTLESHIP's pace strangely slows to a crawl (no doubt due to the limited options offered by the source material), and all potential excitement and interest evaporates. Director Berg forces the idea of teamwork down the audience's throats (Japan and the US fighting togetherin Hawaii? Wonders never cease), and doesn't even try to disguise his recruitment agenda. Indeed, the film is little more than a hyperkinetic music video (oh, that's why Rihanna is here) designed to lure impressionable youth into signing up so they too can fight the 'alien invaders'. Herein lies the problem however: young people today almost definitely don't play Battleship. Basing a tentpole film on a board game seemed like a daft idea from the outset, but recent cinema history has seen a theme park ride turned into a critically and financially successful franchise, so precedent is there in a way. Unfortunately for Universal, even those of us who grew up in a pre-internet/Xbox Live world remember Battleship as a desperately boring endeavour, so how can it be expected to compete in today's short attention-span culture? The strange metaphor that Berg attempts to craft in the film's third act, suggesting that we need to remember and re-appraise the past, just won't fly with 21st century teens bred in our disposable, constantly updating world of technological wonder. BATTLESHIP's strange juxtaposition of bombastic special effects framing ancient board game mechanics simply doesn't sit right, and it's hard to imagine the teen audience, so crucial for success at the summer box-office, tearing themselves away from the latest CALL OF DUTY to embrace the turn-based 'excitement' of this ridiculous film. No amount of explosions can salvage a limp and underwritten movie, and BATTLESHIP, not entirely unexpectedly, is torpedoed by its own outdated inspiration. tinribs27.wordpress.com

• Bradley W

  
  Battleship follow the same issue that I have with many high budget action films, that they focus so much on explosions and action, that they don't pay attention to anything else. I mean this movie is based on the board game supposedly, and they have brought aliens in the mix for… More
  Battleship follow the same issue that I have with many high budget action films, that they focus so much on explosions and action, that they don't pay attention to anything else. I mean this movie is based on the board game supposedly, and they have brought aliens in the mix for some reason. Next thing you know they will make a Candyland movie where the candy turns into supernatural extraterrestrials. I will admit that I enjoyed some of the action scenes, but some of the moments were just explosions, more explosions, and then even MORE explosions. So pretty much if all you care about is action, you will have a good time. As for me, I prefer a film that actually cares about its story and characters, and they need to keep it interesting especially if it's an action film. The story follows a group of Naval officers who discover an alien invasion on our planet. What seems like a hopeless fight soon becomes ship warfare against an alien invasion. But we will need some pretty big guns to stop the artillery these things have. The plot is one big mess that once again shows me that it will be a cold day in hell before Hasbro makes a decent story in their films. I mean they could not even give me any characters to cheer for; we are just given some people in the army and hope they win. People aren't going to see this movie for the story, but for crying out loud at least have something interesting going on between characters or something like that. This film also has a huge problem that deals with a lot of alien films, why are the aliens even there? I mean this film felt a lot like Battle: Los Angeles all over again except with even more action and more boring characters. The movie is a high-budget adaption of a board game that has aliens who want to destroy earth for some reason that pretty much sums up this film. The cast has probably some of the worst performances I have seen so far this year, and I don't know whether it's the actor's faults or the fact their characters have nothing to go on. Taylor Kitsch is here because he is handsome and looks tough, but I expected much better from the guy who played John Carter. He doesn't do anything and his character is just a lazy guy who joins the Navy and turns out to be really good. I couldn't stand his little sub plot with his girlfriend and asking her father to marry her. Another thing that ruined the cast was having Rihanna in the film, I mean her character is boring and doesn't help the movie at all, and her performance was god awful. They only had her to get publicity and that's about it. The rest of the cast members aren't even worth mentioning, other than this one guy who has a striking resemblance to Matt Damon. Battleship wasn't completely a bad film, they use their budget well and the fights between the ships were really cool. It's the action scenes when the humans were fighting the aliens one on one which really got me bored. I mean I enjoyed the concept of the aliens were scanning only for weapons, that was really cool, but just knowing that they are going to go all Transformers on them got me bored. The best part of this film was the battle scenes where they had shot giant balls that destroyed everything in their path. That was where the film really gets intense. But sadly some cool action scenes cannot save a failure of a film, and my rating is a generous offer since they gave me what I wanted to see, some cool action. If you want some big action film with no point whatsoever then go see this film, if you want an action film that actually had some hard work and dedication put into it, go see The Avengers.

• Dann M

  
  Making a movie based on the Battleship board game seemed like the stupidest, most idiotic idea in the history of cinema. But it turns out that it was just crazy enough to work; Battleship is a fun, action packed film that delivers an enjoyable thrill ride. The story is pretty… More
  Making a movie based on the Battleship board game seemed like the stupidest, most idiotic idea in the history of cinema. But it turns out that it was just crazy enough to work; Battleship is a fun, action packed film that delivers an enjoyable thrill ride. The story is pretty formulaic, but it's a formula that works; during an international naval exorcise an alien invasion force lands in the Pacific Ocean and attempts to clear the way for a full scale invasion. And as strange as it may seem, the story does work in a "Battleship" situation that's key to the plot. But a film like this isn't about story, it's about the action and the special effects; which are especially well done. Battleship is a high octane action film that's wildly entertaining.

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