Common Law Cabin (1967)

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• Eric B

  
  Russ Meyer sure found some strange, remote spots to shoot movies. "Common-Law Cabin" takes place in a drab, sandy area along the Colorado River (according to Meyer's typically grandiose introduction, the river takes and leaves like a woman but has a name like a man).… More
  Russ Meyer sure found some strange, remote spots to shoot movies. "Common-Law Cabin" takes place in a drab, sandy area along the Colorado River (according to Meyer's typically grandiose introduction, the river takes and leaves like a woman but has a name like a man). The terrain is like the Everglades minus most of the greenery. It's the dead opposite of "picturesque." Dewey Hoople (Jackie Moran, who also co-wrote the screenplay) lives on an island in this bleak zone, earning his keep through renting nearby turf to unsuspecting marks who seek getaway vacations. The allure of his sales pitch is helped by his buxom girlfriend Babette (Babette Bardot, whose Swedish accent is nearly unintelligible) and buxom daughter Coral (Adele Rein, also accented). Happily for us, these gals spend most of the film barely contained within their bikini tops, but Dewey has a wee problem: He has more sexual interest in Coral than Babette. Dewey depends on a drunken salt nicknamed Cracker to ferry customers to his lair. Cracker's latest passengers are a nerdy doctor, his wife Sheila (the spectacular Alaina Capri) and a cagey operator named Barney (redheaded Ken Swofford, whose face is familiar from a long history of TV roles). Barney has a pressing need for a hideout and seems eager to cut a deal. After Cracker motors away, the remaining group is stuck on the island together. Barney wastes no time in trying to seduce all the women. Frustrated with her dull husband, Sheila is particularly willing to grab any man in sight. A bit later, a handsome heir also arrives on the scene, adding little to the film beyond some age-compatible romance for Coral. Barney eventually gets his just desserts (use freeze-frame to check the laughably obvious stunt dummy), but the best reasons to keep watching are Capri, Rein and Bardot, who may be Meyer's most tantalizing cast of bodies ever. There's no real nudity beyond an underwater buttock or two, but this hardly matters. Maybe it would be geographically inaccurate, but I kept feeling like the story needed a hungry alligator.