Conan the Barbarian (2011)

Featured Audience Ratings

• Crash E

  
  There is nothing special about this, except the boring bad plot.

• MisterYoda ?

  
  four stars!!!

• Lorenzo v

  
  <i>"I live, I love, I slay, and I am content."</i> The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village. <center><font size=+2… More
  <i>"I live, I love, I slay, and I am content."</i> The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village. <center><font size=+2 face="Century Schoolbook"><b><u>REVIEW</u></b></font></center> There was a lengthy, and promising, opening sequence telling of young Conan's birth, winning his spurs, and then the defining event in turning him into the nomadic warrior we are used to. This section was good. Then, early in the adult Conan's activities, we meet a large group of attractive bare-breasted cuties, at which point I thought "Hello, this movie looks distinctly promising." Unfortunately, they put in no further appearances. Instead, what happens is that Conan does some fighting. Then he fights some more. After that, he fights again. And then he does some fighting. I have never seen a film with so much fighting in it. Unfortunately, this takes the place of little things like character development. I think this film is so keen to lay out its credentials as a fresh, and adult, take on Conan after the Schwarzenegger era than it makes it clear early on that there will be gory violence and sex, and then forgets that a movie needs a bit more than that. The story is adequate but, if stripped of the fighting, would probably take about 10 minutes to tell. It looks good, if dark (as is the current fashion), Jason Momoa looks the part (it's a bit difficult to tell if he can act it as he isn't given much opportunity to do anything except fight), and Stephen Lang overdoes the sneering.

• Brad W

  
  Conan the Barbarian is a painful and dumb experience with a lot of blood but no payoff. The story is of a quest that begins as a personal vendetta for the fierce Cimmerian warrior soon turns into an epic battle against hulking rivals, horrific monsters, and impossible odds, as Conan… More
  Conan the Barbarian is a painful and dumb experience with a lot of blood but no payoff. The story is of a quest that begins as a personal vendetta for the fierce Cimmerian warrior soon turns into an epic battle against hulking rivals, horrific monsters, and impossible odds, as Conan (Jason Momoa) realizes he is the only hope of saving the great nations of Hyboria from an encroaching reign of supernatural evil. The plot is pretty pointless and stupid, they use another revenge story we have seen a thousand times before and we will see at thousand times after, and the characters were barely even actors, I think they picked the guys with six packs and hoped they could act, and any girl with big boobs they would keep too. The cast as I said is terrible, they were emotionless, creepy, and just working for a paycheck, that is it, nothing more, nothing less. The action was almost decent, there were moments that were a little worth my time but they were short and done quickly, soon the action becomes a little repetitive as well. Conan the Barbarian is a film I recommend to nobody who wants a good time, because I sure did not find it here.

• Derek A

  
  Not as cheesy as it could've been. MILDLY entertaining, but I use that word carefully.

• E.J. B

  
  Conan the Barbarian 2011 is a better made film than its predecessor. It also has the benefit of a much higher budget, which gives director Marcus Nispel free reign to CGI as much as he wants, add as much blood and gore as he wants, and stage as many drawn out elaborate action… More
  Conan the Barbarian 2011 is a better made film than its predecessor. It also has the benefit of a much higher budget, which gives director Marcus Nispel free reign to CGI as much as he wants, add as much blood and gore as he wants, and stage as many drawn out elaborate action sequences as he can cram in 2 hours. I found the 1982 Conan to be frustratingly boring and cheesy. This new version kept my eyes on the screen as the violence and blood sprayed in epic fashion. Jason Momoa is a much better action lead than even Arnold was at this point in their respective careers. He's got a good balance of badass action hero for the guys, and dreamy, confident romantic for the ladies. Unfortunately, all is not entirely well and good for this remake. I hated the original, but I understand that when it was released, there was nothing else quite like it. It's a dated film, but I know I would have a different view of that film had I been a teenager in 1982. It also launched the career of the granddaddy of all action stars - Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger. This new Conan, as well made as it is, does nothing to distinguish itself from the many sword fantasies that are dime a dozen at the multiplex. 300, Immortals, Troy, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Clash of the Titans to name a few. This new Conan the Barbarian simply joins the list for better or for worse. The film is fun, but it leaves you with nothing. It unfolds in a formulaic, predictable fashion. Even the action scenes feel uninspired. Simple action may be enough for some, especially fans of cheesy 80s inspired pictures, but that's only a small group of people. The turnout may not be enough to launch Jason Momoa as a bonafide action star, no matter how much he deserves it.

• Lewis C

  
  "I live, I love, I slay, and I am content." This Conan reboot is quite different from the old Schwarzenegger flicks from the 80's, but it's not necessarily better. If anything, it lacks the charm of the older movies. It's just an average sword and sorcery… More
  "I live, I love, I slay, and I am content." This Conan reboot is quite different from the old Schwarzenegger flicks from the 80's, but it's not necessarily better. If anything, it lacks the charm of the older movies. It's just an average sword and sorcery flick with the violence and blood turned up to 11. Worth a rental if you're curious, but Conan the Barbarian doesn't stand out in any real way.

• Al S

  
  An explosive and electrifying action-packed extravaganza. It`s pulse-pounding, sexy, fierce, epic and furious. A bold, stylish, very intense and very brutal roller-coaster ride that just pure bloody fun from start to finish. This is popcorn action movie entertainment at it`s very… More
  An explosive and electrifying action-packed extravaganza. It`s pulse-pounding, sexy, fierce, epic and furious. A bold, stylish, very intense and very brutal roller-coaster ride that just pure bloody fun from start to finish. This is popcorn action movie entertainment at it`s very best. The action and battle sequences are spectacular and well-crafted. Loads of dazzling special effects and great scenery that adds to the films visual flair. Jason Momoa is outstanding, he is a born action star and looks like he will be a promising and stellar film hero. This film is a tribute to the old-school with a hard-core mixture of rock and roll and hits the screen dead-on. A fearless and unrelenting adventure that delivers the blood soaked action and spectacle we have been wating for.

• Phil H

  
  What happened here!? I was really looking forward to seeing this as I do have love for these sword n sorcery fantasy adventure flicks of old and had high hopes for this remake/reboot. Yes I accept the obvious cheese factors and possible over the top silliness of the whole concept, if… More
  What happened here!? I was really looking forward to seeing this as I do have love for these sword n sorcery fantasy adventure flicks of old and had high hopes for this remake/reboot. Yes I accept the obvious cheese factors and possible over the top silliness of the whole concept, if you love the old Conan/Red Sonja/Dragonslayer/Beastmaster type films then you surely do, but I was amazed at the lack of imagination used for this new film. I really feel disappointed with this in every aspect, Momoa certainly looked the part but he wasn't quite big enough for me, not enough muscle tone, he played the part OK but there was too much needless sword twirling and fancy pointless showmanship. Lang and McGowan didn't really thrill me either, they both looked like characters outta 'Star Trek' and were simply dull, much like all the characters, just your run of the mill faceless baddies with silly haircuts. Poor old Perlman looked like a flipping Wookie or Neanderthal in his get up, the abominable swordsman. I just felt a real lack of inspiration throughout the film, the location and sets were drab, nothing really exciting actually happened and the finale was a mess of bad bluescreen, poor models and poor cgi. Throw into the mix a very lackluster giant octopus monster thing (terrible cgi again) which didn't really do anything, totally mediocre and has been done before over and over *sigh*. Yes the film sticks to original source material by staying violent with plenty of blood and gore (although the blood was again bad cgi in places) but the film just felt like it lacked care, just tossing together all the old cliches and old ideas and throwing out yet another lame reboot/remake..whatever.

• Sam r

  
  I had very little knowledge to the story of Conan the Barbarian, only that the original wasn't fantastic. However, after watching this film, I can honestly say, that this remake is an improvement. When it was mentioned about the film being full of violence and gore, it really… More
  I had very little knowledge to the story of Conan the Barbarian, only that the original wasn't fantastic. However, after watching this film, I can honestly say, that this remake is an improvement. When it was mentioned about the film being full of violence and gore, it really does mean it. Its contains lots of blood and much more action. This I felt gave a good idea of how barbarians lived and fought like. I was impressed with the story it came up with, of how Conan was born in battle,how he travels the globe to free those under suffering while on his quest of bringing justice to his fathers killer, who is fantastically performed by Stephen Lang (Avatar). Most would say that Jason Momoa was the perfect choice to give this Barbarian a fresh image to the world. Even though the film itself was a success, it did come with issues. One was the sound, it was just ear deafening noise, however, this was the cinemas fault for setting the high frequency incorrectly, not the films. There were moments when it was easy to identify what was CGI and what wasn't, so when a certain death occurred, the molten iron was obviously computer generated. I was rather disappointed with the lack of monsters that the film promised, there were some sand creatures,a kraken and some native like beasts. Finally, there were some well known cliches, such as Conan making love with Tamara along with Langs character giving a monologue just before his death. Overall, Conan the Barbarian is a boat filled with blood soaked, intense action that will appeal to those into medieval themes or brutal battle moments. With little flaws compared to huge successes, its easy to say that this film may not satisfy all, but is something really special to most. Note: if this film sounds ear deafening at any screening; blame the cinema, not the film. Positives: Superb,realistic battles Strong storyline A new, improved face Negatives: Very few creatures Some obvious moments Sometimes only just action

• Everett J

  
  First things first, Jason Momoa(Conan) ain't no Arnold. Arnold had a charisma that Momoa just doesn't have. Momoa is just ok, but really he's just a model trying to be a badass. Now, other than the fact that Momoa isn't as cool as Arnold, this is still a great… More
  First things first, Jason Momoa(Conan) ain't no Arnold. Arnold had a charisma that Momoa just doesn't have. Momoa is just ok, but really he's just a model trying to be a badass. Now, other than the fact that Momoa isn't as cool as Arnold, this is still a great action flick. The effects are great(wish i would have seen this is 3D), and make up for a generic story. This is the story of Conan the Barbarian's quest to avenge his father's murder and save the nations of Hyboria. I know ladies, you will probably want/need to sit this one out. This is a 100% guys type of movie(I know, I know, what business do I have watching this? Well for starters, I'm a dude). Lots and lots of blood, violence, some sex, and just an entertaining thrill ride. The supporting cast is just ok, but part of the blame there is the weak dialogue throughout. It's not a very well written movie, but it's a movie that looks great. Style over substance for sure. So guys, when football isn't on and your lady is gone, pop this bad boy in and have a beer and some pizza.

• Mike S

  
  Decent re-make, with a lot of blood, swordplay and bare-breasted beauties. Jason Momoa may not be as awesome as Schwarzenegger was, but he's not a bad choice for the role, as we have previously seen proof of in <i>Game of Thrones</i>. And although hollow as a bone and… More
  Decent re-make, with a lot of blood, swordplay and bare-breasted beauties. Jason Momoa may not be as awesome as Schwarzenegger was, but he's not a bad choice for the role, as we have previously seen proof of in <i>Game of Thrones</i>. And although hollow as a bone and riddled with cardboard stereotypes, I quite liked the film for what it supplied: as in action, sorcery and quite exciting visuals. It didn't appeal much to my intelligence, but the inner teenager in me was fairly content with what it offered. Just throw your expectations out the door, and you won't feel too let down once you delve into this world of barbary and poor dialogue. Mediocre, sure, but it could easily have been a lot worse.

• First L

  
  Whooo boy does this stink. No, it's not rocket-science, making a great Conan film. In fact, you can narrow it down to three ingredients: swords, de-capitations, and boobs. That's it, and it takes real incompetence to mess that up. Unfortunately, director Marcus Nispel… More
  Whooo boy does this stink. No, it's not rocket-science, making a great Conan film. In fact, you can narrow it down to three ingredients: swords, de-capitations, and boobs. That's it, and it takes real incompetence to mess that up. Unfortunately, director Marcus Nispel (best known for his awful unoriginal re-makes of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Friday the 13th") has just the kind of incompetence to do it. Conan the Barbarian feels like a compilation of scenes from other similarly-themed movies (the big "water wheel" fight from the end of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is even ripped off here). Arrows raining down from the sky, the cgi sand monsters, and villains that are simultaneously cheesy and bland all feel so familiar because they've been lifted from other equally awful epic adventure films from the last 5 years or so. The obvious question is, if you're going to rip off a movie (or movies), why not rip off something better, or at least more successful? Prince of Persia: the Sands of Time didn't exactly rake in the box office dollars, so why imitate it so heavily? Well, having said all this, there is a minor bit of fun to be had with Conan. Mostly it's just a big bore.

• Jan Marc M

  
  The vengeful hero and the damsel in distress. Conan The Barbarian is a hackneyed and bland narrative sufficing with relentless gore and violence. Unnecessary remake of the 1982 Arnold Schwarzenegger version. Barbaric.

• William D

  
  I was hoping that "Conan the Barbarian" would be good trash. Instead, it was just boring. One average, unimaginative battle scene after the next. I couldn't wait for it to end. Lead actor, Jason Momoa, who is of Hawaiian descent, has some charisma and could… More
  I was hoping that "Conan the Barbarian" would be good trash. Instead, it was just boring. One average, unimaginative battle scene after the next. I couldn't wait for it to end. Lead actor, Jason Momoa, who is of Hawaiian descent, has some charisma and could possibly turn into a significant star. But it doesn't look like he's getting the right kind of drama coaching. He seems to put all his attention into body-building and maintaining sexual magnetism. This is good, but that's not enough to build a movie career. It should be noted that he's the same actor who plays the barbarian king in the thrilling new HBO series, "Game of Thrones." In that series, he's given almost no lines. He just skulks around showing off his physicality. Someone's got to teach him to do more.

• Dean M

  
  This 2011 reboot film is really average than the 1982 original one because of the actings, CGI and special effects are poor. The movie actually starts out with some promise showing us young Conan and a really brutal kick-ass action scenes with young Conan in the beginning. After the… More
  This 2011 reboot film is really average than the 1982 original one because of the actings, CGI and special effects are poor. The movie actually starts out with some promise showing us young Conan and a really brutal kick-ass action scenes with young Conan in the beginning. After the beginning sequence though, the movie starts to fall apart rapidly. The dialog is extremely weak and uninspired. I believe Jason Momoa is absolutely perfect to portray Conan, but sadly he is very weak in this role and really adds nothing new or interesting to the character. One more thing to be mentioned is that the 3D in this movie is non-existent I watched.

• Markus R

  
  Conan the Barbarian: Bloodier doesn't mean better. Written by Markus Robinson, Edited by Nicole I. Ashland Rated R for strong bloody violence, some sexuality and nudity A film which seems to thrive on the gross out factor, this remake of "Conan the… More
  Conan the Barbarian: Bloodier doesn't mean better. Written by Markus Robinson, Edited by Nicole I. Ashland Rated R for strong bloody violence, some sexuality and nudity A film which seems to thrive on the gross out factor, this remake of "Conan the Barbarian" is sure to leave its mark on anyone who has the stomach to keep their eyes open for the entire film. Trust me, this film is really gross, so don't see it in 3D because you may throw up. Over-directed by Marcus Nispel (who unfortunately takes responsibility for the horrendous remakes of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Friday the 13th") and starring virtually unknown Jason Momoa as Conan, who looks like a GQ model that hasn't showered for a few days and Stephen Lang (Avatar) as the evil Khalar Zym, who (in a land with seemingly no toothpaste) seems to be the only actor in the film with a dental plan. Rose McGowan (Planet Terror) is also in the film, BUT gives such an unwatchable performance, that this is the last you will hear about her in this review. Synopsis: With a storyline that detours from the original 1982 version, audiences follow Conan from his birth during a bloody battle: meaning he is cut out of his mother's womb on the battlefield in the most barbarically grotesque scene ever to get past the MPAA. From there we fast forward to Conan as an adolescent (with sociopath tendencies), as his father is killed by the evil Khalar Zym, a psychotic warlord bent on world domination. Then we fast forward once more to Conan as an adult bent on revenge for his fathers death (ok, so the revenge theme isn't that much different, but much of the content is). All in all, "Conan the Barbarian" was setting up to be an ample revenge story, but time and time again, like a bad Budweiser commercial, the script has the Conan character delving into a cartoonish parody of himself, as he saves a town full of topless supermodel slaves from their hideous oppressors and celebrates with a beer in one hand and a slave breast in the other (all that is missing is a pool party). You think that last sentence was too crude? Then, you can stop reading now because there is NO WAY that this is the film for you. There is definitely an audience that will find this film mildly entertaining, in a very crass way, and because Conan (as a character) is based on larger than life, crush your enemies first, ask questions later, He-man woman hater persona, audiences of the original will undoubtedly find favor in a lot of the material here. Meaning, if the new Conan was anything but a one dimensional character, it wouldn't have worked for its target audiences. But it is that same quality of character (as well as the overwhelming violence) which makes this remake of "Conan the Barbarian" (much like the original), a truly hard film to defend. Side Note: Morgan Freeman narrates the beginning of this story (he may be truly the voice of God, encroaching on James Earl Jones territory), which unfortunately is a ploy that will backfire on the director, not adding any sort of gravity to this "epic", but more so adding to the campiness. A tragic misuse of Freeman's million dollar pipes. Schwarzenegger vs. Momoa: Ok, now for the real comparisons. Momoa as Conan is still a womanizer and a barbarian in the fullest sense of the word, but with the outlandishly bloody visuals taking center stage of this 2011 version, his leading man acting abilities (which aren't bad) will be inevitably lost on audiences. In the original "Conan the Barbarian", Schwarzenegger is the main focus and every audience member in the theater knew it, even if he was the focus for all of the wrong reasons. Now as for Momoa's look, he is an all around more Harlequin Romance version of Conan the Barbarian, but he is no Arnold. Momoa doesn't have the signature Pumping Iron" physique (as a former Mr. Olympian, Schwarzenegger was twice the size of Momoa), sword technique (there are battle sequences with swords here, but its nothing memorable), or that goofy Austrian accent that enemies seem to fear. Overall, Momoa may end up being a better actor than Arnold, but he is simply not the larger than life, Neanderthal Conan that world-wide audiences have grown to love. So, although Arnold will always be Conan, Momoa does a decent job in the role, but isn't enough to buy tickets to go watch. PS. There a substantially greater amount of horse brutality (aka horses getting thrown about and punched in the face in a very "Blazing Saddles" manner), so if you have a soft spot for animals, this is again NOT the movie fore you. Final Thought: The entire concept of this remake is "Conan the Barbarian" reinvented. He doesn't spew the classic lines of the original, in fact he mainly just grunts around. And as for the movie itself, it is drenched in ultra violence, laughable nudity and overly rude treatment of all female kind, all facets that were amplified from the original. And even if one could get past all that, the simple fact is that the film isn't all that great. Even though I didn't hate it as much as many people in the audiences around me did (I mean, it does have some great set design and in all actuality the entertainment value during some of the battle sequences is quite high, if you can get past the blood and guts), in the end, I really can't find any compelling reason why I should recommend this film to anyone unless they were reading this review, in the theater, waiting for "Conan the Barbarian" to start. Please visit my page on Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/x-52464-San-Jose-Indie-Movie-Examiner and leave any comments you have about this or any review. The more hits I get the better. Thank you.

• Liam G

  
  I really, really hate this abomination of a film. I can enjoy scenes of violence and gore if they mean something. The violence in this movie is meaningless because the film didn't even attempt to give any reason to care about anyone here. The characters are so incredibly bland… More
  I really, really hate this abomination of a film. I can enjoy scenes of violence and gore if they mean something. The violence in this movie is meaningless because the film didn't even attempt to give any reason to care about anyone here. The characters are so incredibly bland that you stop caring 30 minutes into the film. The performances are mediocre at best and the dialogue is dire. The action scenes are filmed and edited horribly, meaning that ''Conan the Barbarian'' pretty much fails miserably on almost every level.

• Aaron N

  
  Conan: I live. I love. I slay. I am content. Conan the Barbarian gives the viewer everything that they would be expecting...if they did not have their expectations very high. The movie has plenty of macho ridiculousness and is filled to the brim with violence and CG blood and… More
  Conan: I live. I love. I slay. I am content. Conan the Barbarian gives the viewer everything that they would be expecting...if they did not have their expectations very high. The movie has plenty of macho ridiculousness and is filled to the brim with violence and CG blood and gore. It is not a good movie by any means, but I did laugh a lot. Once you see your lead character literally born on the battlefield, delivered via C-section by your father's own sword, there are few things to do but have a good laugh at the whole thing. Really, the only question I have to ask is why did this movie need to carry on for nearly two hours? I guess it was to ensure the delivery of all the "aaaarrrrggghhhs" in the movie. An "aaaarrrrrggghhh" that isn't long enough isn't worth delivering. read the whole review at thecodeiszeek.com

• Cory T

  
  Why all the accolades for the Fright Night remake which is a colorless carbon copy of the original yet people are shunning the new Conan? Conan offers blistering action that isn't marred by frantic editing and features real stuntmen collapsing off horses and dangling from… More
  Why all the accolades for the Fright Night remake which is a colorless carbon copy of the original yet people are shunning the new Conan? Conan offers blistering action that isn't marred by frantic editing and features real stuntmen collapsing off horses and dangling from circular ornaments over a fiery pit. I was skeptical that the filmmakers would soften and modernize Conan, however when Conan is given the most gruesome C-section in history on a battlefield to the narration of Morgan Freeman, I knew my suspicions were laid to rest. Conan is still monosyllabic, misogynistic (he bluntly commands the priestess to "go to sleep" or "come here woman") and war-ravaged. The marble temples are marvelous sets and cast an epic canvass. The film even works solely as a bone-crunching revenge story. The sheer graphic nature is worthy of acclaim and so should this exhilarating reworking of the Hyborian legend.

Read all 20 featured audience ratings