Conan the Destroyer (1984)

Featured Audience Ratings

• Jonathan H

  
  Toning down the violence of its predecessor, and injecting "comedy" is not a recipe for success. This film borderlines on "unwatchable" (and I've seen Good Luck Chuck). I know De Laurentiis and company wanted to make Destroyer a PG film in order to broaden its… More
  Toning down the violence of its predecessor, and injecting "comedy" is not a recipe for success. This film borderlines on "unwatchable" (and I've seen Good Luck Chuck). I know De Laurentiis and company wanted to make Destroyer a PG film in order to broaden its appeal, but this certainly isn't the way to go about it. On the bright side, I was surprised to find out that legendary cinematographer Jack Cardiff shot this film (The African Queen, Black Narcissus, and The Red Shoes among his career highlights). Just when you thought a Powell-Pressburger/Conan connection couldn't be made, there you go.

• David L

  
  The first Conan film is a great one, I honestly felt like I was there, in the dark, bloody and barbaric ancient world of thieves, warriors and wizards. The sequel on the other hand is not the same experience, it's something less. The story goes a little like this, the mighty… More
  The first Conan film is a great one, I honestly felt like I was there, in the dark, bloody and barbaric ancient world of thieves, warriors and wizards. The sequel on the other hand is not the same experience, it's something less. The story goes a little like this, the mighty Conan is assigned by the Queen Taramis to do something for her. That something is not a massive bloody rampage but rather a quest that is more boring and still with a lot of instructions, take a virgin princess to get a magic diamond and then to temple to get an ancient horn to fulfill a destiny that she never makes clear to our hero. So he does just that. First thing to say is that Conan, played again by Arnold Schwarzenegger, isn't quite the amazing character here as he was before. In the first film, he was an anti-hero, a brutal warrior and a killer with ambiguous morals even if he did ultimately do the heroic thing. Here he's just something of a do-gooder hero who's a bit more dumbed down. He's been promised that his lover Valeria will be brought back from the dead if he completes his quest, this isn't particularly bad, but it doesn't further the character besides the fact that he misses his girlfriend. The fact that this is such a driving force doesn't seem completely characteristic of such a hardened character. Of course, the change in character comes with an overall change in tone. No longer a dark and brooding tale but rather a family friendly romp with the grand and bloody action sequences pushed aside for slapstick. Even the music has gotten a downgrade, no longer an omnipresent ambiance, it's very limited and more whimsical than moody. Everything just doesn't pack the same punch as in the first movie and that's what makes it suffer the most. The characters are well, a ragtag bunch for sure. The main sidekick is the not the archer Subotai, but instead an unfunny little weasel named Malak. He is supposed to be the comic relief, but he fails miserably like many characters of his kind and if anyone shows just how lousy the dialogue is, it's this guy. He doesn't do anything noteworthy through the entire movie. Sarah Douglas plays the treacherous queen who only wants the horn to resurrect an ancient demon. Wilt Chamberlain plays Bombaata, the also treacherous captain of of the guards who also double crosses Conan. The other characters are nothing special, Olivia D'Abo is out of place as the princess, Grace Jones is okay as the raider Zula, Mako is just along for the ride as the wizard from the first movie, he sounds like he's in it for a paycheck even in his opening narration, which of course sounded much cooler and theatrical in the first film. There's really not much of interest here, the action is clumsy, the cinematography is very standard and doesn't really pop, the music is slightly above average and isn't very powerful and the characters are odd and uninteresting. The plot of Conan going on a quest with a bunch of ragtag adventurers is kind of cool, if only he was the tougher and more brooding character he was written as in the original stories and portrayed in the original film. Ultimately, while very cheesy, the movie is actually kind of okay on its own if you want a sword-and-sorcery fantasy adventure flick. But compared to the first film, it's quite a disappointment. The first film was big, bold and exciting and full of compelling characters and memorable moments its unfolding story of one incredible man. The sequel tries to be silly and campy, something never intended by any previous works. What's worse is that while it seems to lampoon itself and be something for the kids who prefer lighter fare, it still tries to pass itself as a genuine sequel, even including the same ending shot of an aged Conan on his throne. Not that bad but not that good either, just a standard popcorn flick with just enough entertaining moments to keep you watching but not nearly as powerful or unforgettable as its predecessor. If this movie and the first film were to have a gladiatorial battle, the sequel would be decapitated, disemboweled and left for the buzzards to feed upon.

• Conner R

  
  They took away everything that made the first Conan amazing. There is not brutal violence or terribly interesting characters, just a lot of comical fantasy based sequences. I just feel bad that Arnold had to be a part of this because it really is below him. In no way does it represent… More
  They took away everything that made the first Conan amazing. There is not brutal violence or terribly interesting characters, just a lot of comical fantasy based sequences. I just feel bad that Arnold had to be a part of this because it really is below him. In no way does it represent the Conan everyone knows from the comics either, it's just a generic story tagged on to the brand. A flat out terrible movie.

• Tim B

  
  A bit silly, compared to the first, but a good time, none the less.

• Lafe F

  
  Conan-Light? A fun visit back to Conan-land. It replaced some of the serious warrior grandeur with some hokey magical quest to please the D&D players abroad. It sacrificed some artistic filmmaking and became more kid-friendly, at the same time the Dungeons & Dragons Saturday… More
  Conan-Light? A fun visit back to Conan-land. It replaced some of the serious warrior grandeur with some hokey magical quest to please the D&D players abroad. It sacrificed some artistic filmmaking and became more kid-friendly, at the same time the Dungeons & Dragons Saturday morning cartoon was a hit. We didn't know what to think; even as teenagers, we knew that we were being led along. Grace Jones was a great treat, like a Panther. Conan's assembled group felt very much like a "Party", with a thief, a wizard, a barbarian, a black warrior and a princess. It just didn't inspire us like the first Conan movie did; it wasn't quite the same dangerous world. It was good to see Mako the Wizard make another appearance. The mirror demon looked like an ape! The horned statue was freaky indeed, and gore-tastic when Conan ripped it off and all the blood sprayed out. The adventure made a nice module, but we were only entertained for that one afternoon at the theatre, and didn't take much of it to heart like the first Conan movie did.

• Dean !

  
  A cool sequel to the first. More of the same type of action as the first and great fight scenes.

• Jason S

  
  I liked the movie. Lots of action and sword fights are always a good time.

• danny d

  
  very good stuff

• xGary X

  
  Far more fitting with what you'd expect from a Hollywood treatment of Conan than the first film; a big, dumb hack'n'slasher full of nubile women in bikinis and rippling pecs. Stupid.

• Dean M

  
  The action is large-scale, the plot suitably fantastic and the climax slam-bang.

• Kalel J

  
  There is a lot lost in this sequel. The authenticity and brooding nature of the original is non-existant and the story, while holding potential, fails into dust. Arnie keeps this just above one star though, his character remains very likeable.

• Jason V

  
  Know how bad Conan the Destroyer is? It counts both Grace Jones and basketball player Wilt Chamberlain in the cast. This isn't a Conan movie. This is a generic story with the Conan character grafted into it. There's not an intelligent thought in the film, as every plot… More
  Know how bad Conan the Destroyer is? It counts both Grace Jones and basketball player Wilt Chamberlain in the cast. This isn't a Conan movie. This is a generic story with the Conan character grafted into it. There's not an intelligent thought in the film, as every plot twist can be seen miles away because, frankly, we've seen it all before. Parts play like a samurai film while there are glimpses of the western genre and fantasy. None of it speaks coherently, schlepping the ragtag group of characters from one place to another for no good reason other than they need to do something kinetic on the screen. (Take a scene where Tracey Walter is applying salve farther and farther up Grace Jones's leg. It's creepy, uncomfortable and hideously out of place.) There's supposedly comedy here, though it feels like slapstick, negating the tone and feel of the first film. The biggest offender is Tracey Walter, though almost everyone contributes to the tomfoolery. A dozen other films of a similar genre are better than this one and have been relegated to the scrapheap of history because they don't star Arnold Schwarzenegger. Pity this one can't join them, since Conan the Destroyer is pretty embarrassing cinema.

• Alec B

  
  I think this one gets too campy. The first is silly to be sure, but not so much so that it lost its edge.

• Doctor S

  
  If you're in the right mood, there's some idiotic fun to be had on this adventure. Ah-nuld's sword lessons are a hoot, you get WTF Wilt Chamberlain, and Grace Jones always a welcome loony presence. Better than the first.

• Chad R

  
  One of the greatest "Would NEVER Happen" moments in this movie. Who in their right mind would task Wilt freaking Chamberlain with making sure a hot, young, blond princess completes a journey with Conan and arrives with her virginity intact? Come on, now. The worst of… More
  One of the greatest "Would NEVER Happen" moments in this movie. Who in their right mind would task Wilt freaking Chamberlain with making sure a hot, young, blond princess completes a journey with Conan and arrives with her virginity intact? Come on, now. The worst of the Conan movies but still OK. Could have done without Grace Jones...in any movie really.

• Christopher B

  
  For some weird reason I really loved the Marvel Conan comic books growing up. Sure I dug the b&w magazine type comics but I thought the Marvel ones were good fun. However, even loving those, I still found this film rather silly and disappointing.

• Matthew A

  
  Wasn't sure if this would match up to the standards of the first one, but it definitely did. Conan was now with a whole new team of sidekicks, on a mission to deliver a special artifact to a queen who made him a promise he couldn't refuse. The score was once again… More
  Wasn't sure if this would match up to the standards of the first one, but it definitely did. Conan was now with a whole new team of sidekicks, on a mission to deliver a special artifact to a queen who made him a promise he couldn't refuse. The score was once again amazing. I just have no words for how pleasant that music is to listen to. It just inspires you and definitely matches up exceptionally well to the action in the movie. There were more magic and creatures in this one than the first one, but both films are about equally the same to me. The action was once again very fun to watch. I wish there was a third film in this series, because they really have a good story going there and overall have a good style.

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