Crust (2003)

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Under the clear blue waters of the Philippines lives the Mantis Shrimp, a type of crustacean with powerful clubs instead of claws which it uses to stun its prey.According to David Attenborough, it is usually only six inches long, so when pub landlord Bill (Kevin McNally, Johnny English, High Heels… More Under the clear blue waters of the Philippines lives the Mantis Shrimp, a type of crustacean with powerful clubs instead of claws which it uses to stun its prey.According to David Attenborough, it is usually only six inches long, so when pub landlord Bill (Kevin McNally, Johnny English, High Heels and Low Lifes), a failed boxer and borderline alcoholic, is offered one that is seven feet in length he is incredulous to say the least!Local entrepreneur Hamid 'Anything-U-Need' Choudhury (Madhav Sharma, East is East, Entrapment) persuades his friend that this mutant shrimp with a five-foot right hook could be the answer to his prayers. All Bill has to do is convince London's TV moguls to put 'Mr.C' in the ring for the cameras - a glamorous show to be hosted by Ulrika Jonsson.Before you can say powerful pink pugilist, Bill is heading down the motorway to the big smoke dreaming of bright lights, celebrity shags and all the champagne he can drink. Along for the ride in his white transit van is an unlikely trio; his hapless best mate Steve, an amateur boxer who has just lost his job at the local condom factory; Shaz,a trainee hairdresser with ambition and the biggest, ugliest marine invertebrate you've ever had the misfortune to set your eyes on.Crust is their outrageous adventure and a comedy with a heart. -- © Park Entertainment