'Tis the season for haranguing Santabot! Inspired by intense listlessness! Ollie, be proud!
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: yo ho ho
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Hey. You're back. Stretch that window and fire away.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: What… More
'Tis the season for haranguing Santabot! Inspired by intense listlessness! Ollie, be proud!
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: yo ho ho
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Hey. You're back. Stretch that window and fire away.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: What am I firing exactly? I'm not clever like that, Santa.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Its a figure of speech, you know, like ask me a question or something. Or you can play games with the elves, just type menu.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Wow, very intuitive for a Santabot! Can I call you Santabot? So, Santabot, can you grant me cleverness this year? Your Santabot cleverness?
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Oh, my. That is a mouthful. I'm so busy typing to so many children, could you send me a slightly smaller note?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: I'll show you a mouthful!
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: I shouldn't have said that just now, Santabot. It was mean and I've not been sleeping well lately. Let's put it behind us and get to the gift-giving bit of this arrangement.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: My goodness!
You certainly are direct! Well, you can always type, 'Tell Santa' and I'll be happy to listen to all of your wishes!
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Bring it. "Tell Santa"
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: O.K. Let's focus on one wish at a time! I'm getting a little slower as I get older. So, what is the first gift you'd like from Santa?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Santabot-brand Cleverness!
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Is there anything else?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Awesomeness! Santabot-style!
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: What would your final Christmas wish be?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: A lightsaber.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: All right, that's plenty of wishes. Why don't you type, poll and vote for your favorite holiday album?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Hey, don't just brush off my wishes like that, Santabot. I revealed some serious vulnerabilities to you. I need some assurances from you that this won't get around. So help me, if this ends up on the internet...
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: O.K. I hear you. You are in need of some assistance. Well I cannot really part with any elves right now.
But if you try typing menu you might find some useful things they have put together for you.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: It's just that I don't want to go on believing that you choke the dreams of the living and are an agent of the apocalypse. I want to believe, Santabot. Make me believe again! Can you do that?
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Oh dear, how should I know?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: You're mothereffing Santa! Don't you have a crystal ball, or a wise elf that looks like Kuato from Total Recall that ordains things?
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Interesting. Type menu.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Type! Hoo boy, Santabot! Do you always do this in conversations?
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Go shopping?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Awha? I think I'm losing faith in this Santabot-brand cleverness. I now revoke that from my wishlist, and replace it with another lightsaber (green). But don't think I'm not onto your games, Santa.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Holiday Games
1 - Holiday Hangman
2 - Holiday Word Shuffle
3 - Santa's Sudoku (for your overachieving elf)
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Holiday Hangman! I know exactly who I want to hang!
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: You can always type, 'Tell Santa' and I'll be happy to listen to all of your wishes!
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: You fished me in earlier with that one, Santabot, but not again. Never again, you Skynet-borne dreamkiller!
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Ho Ho Ho! Back for more? What else tops your list for Christmas?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Show me Mrs. Claus, and I'll make sure to "top her list."
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: You can ask me all about that after you tell me what you want for Christmas!
So, what is at the top of your list?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Sorry, Santabot. I'm not sure you deserved that. I'm just... I just need to clear my head, ya know? Ever feel like life just comes at you from all directions sometimes? Like you just want to surrender and let it take you captive?
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: I've got a billion children to keep track of -- so could you ask me something a bit more manageable? I'd very much appreciate it.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Oh, a thousand apologies for distracting you from your billion children, Santabot. But seriously, I think that last question was all the Dylan song's fault that I'm listening to.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Oh my, this should be a lot easier! You need to relax and let the Christmas sprit flow.
Try typing, menu to start again.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: I need to get some spirits flowing, that's for sure. Screw my therapist, right?
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Ho! Ho! Wonderful.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Yeah, it was funny, wasn't it? High-five!
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: I don't know any little boy that wouldn't love a radio control car made by my elves! I didn't find any results. Try searching again or type menu for the Main Menu.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Aw, flergh, Santabot! Flergh.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Excuse me?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Baking powder?
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: O.K. that's quite a list! Why don't you type, poll and vote for your favorite holiday album?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: I'll call your bluff. Poll.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Help us decide this season's hottest Xmas album by typing a number:
1 - And Winter Came - Enya
2 - Noel - Josh Groban
3 - Joy to the World - Faith Hill
4 - Don't Come Home for Christmas - Jeff Dunham
5 - The Christmas Collection - Il Divo
6 - A Candlelight Christmas - Mannheim Steamroller
7 - The Essential NOW That's What I Call Christmas
8 - My Kind of Christmas - Christina Aguilera
9 - Merry Christmas - Mariah Carey
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Holy sh...Josh Groban? Mariah Carey? Jeebuz, Santabot. I don't think I can respect you now. Is that okay with you?
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Yes?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Oddly nuanced for a Santabot. Can you elaborate?
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Can I ask YOU something?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Intriguing. "Fire away."
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: May I ask you a question?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: WTF? Yes.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Have you done any good deeds yet this holiday season?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Yes. I've found under-served wives and topped their lists. Hiyooooo! High-five?
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Alright! I knew you were on my Good List. Just wanted to make sure .
Now type menu.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Wait, wait. You heard what I just said, right? I want me a high-five!
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Why did you say that?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: I almost think you're deliberately being obtuse. Or were you talking about my previous remark? The one that deserves a high-five?
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: I didn't find any results. Try searching again or type menu for the Main Menu.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Rather cold response. Is your marriage okay, Santabot?
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Oh, if I had a penny for every time an elf said that to me!
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: What a thing to say, Santabot! The elves! This is too much! Oh my, I'm afraid you're straining my imagination.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: What would you like to search for? (Type main at any time to return to the main menu).
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: "Desperate Housewives."
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: I didn't find any results. Try searching again or type menu for the Main Menu.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: I see the hurt in your soul full of circuitry, Santabot. It's okay. Let it out.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Now, now... That's simply just too much for elves and me to understand in one go. Could you try asking something a little shorter?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Can you stop bringing the elves into this? I think you should take accountability for what are clearly your own shortcomings.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Can I what?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: I insist that you heard me.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Why did you say that?
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Have you ever considered how fragile elves are? Especially after all this "Mrs. Claus" funny business. You need to stop.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: The elves say, 'Make me'. ;)
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: I'm at a loss for words, Santabot. Really. Uh, and what do cows say, Santabot?
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Wonderful!
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Ha! Maybe Santabot-brand cleverness isn't dead after all! I'll take 3, please.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Let me try to find that for you. Can you tell me where I should look?
1 - Personal Care (9 matches)
2 - Garden (1 matches)
Type a # for the category
Type "main" to return to Santa's main menu.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Personal Care? Garden? Unless cleverness is grown from the earth, I'm insulted.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: I'm afraid I need a little more info than that! Try searching again or type menu for the Main Menu.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: No, I won't. I grow tired of these antics, Santabot. Dance for me?
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: If you don't ask me another way I'm afraid we just won't understand each other.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: I accept this statement.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Fair enough.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Resigned to our impenetrable differences? You like Christina Aguilera; I like Joe Strummer. Situation no-win, Santabot.
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: Stop playing around.
[color=Red][b]neumdaddy[/b][/color]: Santabot, I leave you to your insidious idle whirring, silently awaiting the next sorry sap to run pointless circles around your emotionally detached conversational booby traps. To your further assistance, I say emphatically: No, thanks!
[color=Blue][b]SantaClaus[/b][/color]: You're very welcome![color=Red][/color]