Hatchet (2006)

Featured Audience Ratings

• Melvin W

  
  Marcus: You look like you been molested by wolves!  "Stay out of the swamp." So, Hatchet is another one of those backwoods, deformed killer movies. The genre isn't great to say the least, and Hatchet isn't the worst one out there. But it certainly is terrible. It… More
  Marcus: You look like you been molested by wolves!  "Stay out of the swamp." So, Hatchet is another one of those backwoods, deformed killer movies. The genre isn't great to say the least, and Hatchet isn't the worst one out there. But it certainly is terrible. It had moments, and when I say moments I mean like two 30 second scenes that were okay. The rest is complete garbage. Most of the shit is recycled garbage. I know that Adam Green's goal isn't to surprise us. He knows that 90% of the people who are watching his movie are doing so because they are horror buffs. So he knows that we've seen all the slashers, and that we know all the plot developments. So I'm not disappointed with Hatchet because it follows that familiar plot. I'm disappointed with it because nothing in between those plot developments did much to set it apart from any of the other crappy slashers. The good ones are always able to mix in some originality amidst all the predictability. Hatchet is about a group of people who take a haunted boat tour in the swamps of Louisiana. Once they are out in the swamp, their boat breaks down and they are left stranded with a deformed killer chasing them. It's very much like The Hills Have Eyes, except instead of the desert, we get a dark, wet swamp.  Hatchet is extremely gory too. I mean there are gory kills and then there are the ones that take place in Hatchet. Now, gory to some people means gross. The kills in Hatchet relays aren't gross though because there is now amount of realism in them. Each one looks more ridiculous and fake then previous one. I mean the kills here make the ones from Friday the 13th look amazing. As a horror fan who finds too much enjoyment in bad slashers, I'm telling you not to watch this one. That should tell you everything. When I see a slasher that I denounce this badly, it must mean it's pretty damn bad. Terrible acting, terrible attempts at humor, and even worse attempts at horror. But there are some nice shots of naked boobs.

• Ken S

  
  Good gore and pretty mediocre everything else. And seriously everyone suffered from "I'm just gonna stand still and let you kill me" syndrome.

• Jason C

  
  This was a surprisingly competent throwback to the old slasher films. As far as entertainment value, it could more than hold it's own with any of the recent remakes. The film succeeds with a series of graphic and violent murders, that are actually quite comical. There are… More
  This was a surprisingly competent throwback to the old slasher films. As far as entertainment value, it could more than hold it's own with any of the recent remakes. The film succeeds with a series of graphic and violent murders, that are actually quite comical. There are plenty of flaws including an all out lack of suspense. I'd actually like to see horror movies attempt to be scary, instead of humorous. I was also kind of put off by the physical appearance of Victor Crowley. In the end, I'd certainly recommend this to fans of the slasher genre. If you don't like that style of movie, you'll hate this too.

• Jeff "

  
  In a time when horror is dominated by remakes, Hatchet is a true breath of fresh air. Adam Green is one original director, and he knows what makes a great horror film. Every element that makes a good horror film is here, laughs, boobs, scares, gore, violence, you name it. What I loved… More
  In a time when horror is dominated by remakes, Hatchet is a true breath of fresh air. Adam Green is one original director, and he knows what makes a great horror film. Every element that makes a good horror film is here, laughs, boobs, scares, gore, violence, you name it. What I loved the most about Hatchet is how the filmmakers simply went ahead and made a film with a true horror vibe. Especially for today, director's tends to concentrate more on CGI horror, thus it seems like they're not having fun with the films that they are making. But with Adam Green's Hatchet you get something different, you get a cheaper made film, but the effects are vintage old school stuff like they did back in the day. Hatchet is unfortunately an overlooked horror film, only the die-hard fans have heard of it, but not the mainstream audience. Well, if you're one of diehards, this film has great gore and has cameos by Robert Englund, Tony Todd and the killer Victor Crowley is played by non other than Kane Hodder, the best Jason Voorhees. If you come across Hatchet, give it a rent, you will most likely love it like I did.

• Tim S

  
  Pssh.

• Conner R

  
  Kane Hodder as another blade wielding mongoloid, what more could you ask for? Maybe ultra violence and a Robert Englund cameo, which this has. It's a simple plot, but was done very well.

• Film C

  
  This film isnt too bad to be honest: it gets 7/10 for funniness 7/10 for goryness and 3/10 for scaryness so if you wont a horror really wanting to get scared this is the film for you however i am surprised this isnt a black comedy but this is a funny movie with very few scares but… More
  This film isnt too bad to be honest: it gets 7/10 for funniness 7/10 for goryness and 3/10 for scaryness so if you wont a horror really wanting to get scared this is the film for you however i am surprised this isnt a black comedy but this is a funny movie with very few scares but there is so gory parts though!! worth a watch though

• Dean !

  
  Tagged as an old school American horror this definitely felt like watching an older horror film along the lines of Friday the 13th. However mixed with some very over the top gore from more recent horror films and you get this. Featuring cameos from Robert Englund, Tony Todd and Kane… More
  Tagged as an old school American horror this definitely felt like watching an older horror film along the lines of Friday the 13th. However mixed with some very over the top gore from more recent horror films and you get this. Featuring cameos from Robert Englund, Tony Todd and Kane Hodder. There are plenty of jokes, gore and all the other ingredients that horror fans love about slasher films in this.

• Lady D

  
  Truly disastrous!!! I had been under the impression that this film was going to be a reasonably good slasher film, it was nothing of the sort. It was a teen movie, with a silly plot,, with a cameo role from two previous horror icons. The acting was awful, the 'thing'… More
  Truly disastrous!!! I had been under the impression that this film was going to be a reasonably good slasher film, it was nothing of the sort. It was a teen movie, with a silly plot,, with a cameo role from two previous horror icons. The acting was awful, the 'thing' chasing everyone had no originality about it, all in all it was a very amateur film and is going straight to my 'worst films' list

• jd c

  
  An outrageous gorefest with tons of silly hilarious humor. This movie only got a limited release, and let me tell you, it's way better than most of the shitty horror films that are getting a wide theatrical release these days. This movie is the bomb! Adam Green(the director),… More
  An outrageous gorefest with tons of silly hilarious humor. This movie only got a limited release, and let me tell you, it's way better than most of the shitty horror films that are getting a wide theatrical release these days. This movie is the bomb! Adam Green(the director), knows his horror and really knows how to deliver in this movie. He's no hack. He knows and understands exactly what he's doing. We need a lot more horror films from Adam Green, he just might actually be able to put the genre back on track. Lets talk about some of the little ingredients that make the horror genre work. What makes horror fun? Atmosphere? Check! Hatchet has plenty of great atmosphere. Nudity?(Come on now! It's a horror movie for Christ sakes!) Hatchet has plenty of obligatory tit shots, lol. Overdramatic acting? Check! Hatchet has plenty. But not in a bad way. The acting here is actually very good for what it is. It was suppose to be silly, making us laugh even more and everyone here did a great job with the material. A sense of humor? Check! Hatchet does not take itself seriously(thank God). It's a laugh riot. Violence and Gore? Check! Check! Check! Hatchet is a bloodbath. In closing statement, Hatchet might just be one of the best horror movies to come out in 2006. I highly recommend this movie for any true horror fan! <a href="http://s294.photobucket.com/albums/mm89/JDHallowEEn/?action=view&current=Hatchet.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm89/JDHallowEEn/Hatchet.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

• E.J. B

  
  I really don't care if it's trying to create a post-modern homage to the slasher flicks of the 70s and 80s, this movie sucks. The only scene I found entertaining was the scene where the four kids are watching a bush make noises and trying to make the black guy approach it.… More
  I really don't care if it's trying to create a post-modern homage to the slasher flicks of the 70s and 80s, this movie sucks. The only scene I found entertaining was the scene where the four kids are watching a bush make noises and trying to make the black guy approach it. Other than that, the concept was dumb, the humour wasn't even funny in a cheesy way, and the gore was actually kind of ridiculous.

• A.D. V

  
  It's a slasher junkie's quick and satisfying fix. The gore was fantastic, 'Victor' was nicely developed and quite menacing and even the acting was just fine. My only problem with it was the crappy final moments.

• Bruce B

  
  Best Horror Movie of 2007, Move over Freddie, Jason and all you other dust buster Monsters, There's a New Kid in town, his Name is VICTOR. 5 Stars, you bet.

• EightThirty .

  
  Some cool frights but otherwise pretty silly ^_^

• Emily A

  
  This movie had a few good ideas, but I think its t-shirts go a little far in proclaiming that it's on its way to "saving horror". This movie is nothing that special. The tagline of would imply that this is a completely original movie idea, but it's really an… More
  This movie had a few good ideas, but I think its t-shirts go a little far in proclaiming that it's on its way to "saving horror". This movie is nothing that special. The tagline of would imply that this is a completely original movie idea, but it's really an attempt to recreate the old-school slasher films that innovation has since left behind. This movie isn't bad, but don't expect too much.

• Dr Blood  

  
  This has been the best horror movie that I've seen so far this year. From only a few minutes into the opening scene with Robert Englund, I just knew that I was going to love it. There was nothing all that original about "Hatchet" since it "homages" just about… More
  This has been the best horror movie that I've seen so far this year. From only a few minutes into the opening scene with Robert Englund, I just knew that I was going to love it. There was nothing all that original about "Hatchet" since it "homages" just about every 80s backwoods slasher but it was all very well done. With Kane Hodder on board as the bad guy and stunt coordinator, how could it fail? Apart from jump scares, it's not really scary though as it is very much in the same vein as "Slither". It is very wittily scripted and has over the top gore which just makes you want to say "Lush!" and cheer. Tony Todd's cameo was priceless too. There is a certain amount of suspense here and there though it doesn't really last all the way to the end. This is more of a comedy-horror with lots of action, running around and screaming, and lots of boobs and blood. The characterisation was surprisingly effective for this kind of thing and I really missed some of the bigger players after they had been bumped off. The girls in particular were very good especially Mercedes McNab (Harmony from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer") and Tamara Feldman. Everything was shot well and I'm sure most of the night shots were done in a studio to save money but this doesn't look like a cheap movie at all. There is some CGI mixed in to good effect with prostethics though you won't really notice anything detrimental from it for once. If you like good old fashioned slasher movies then this is one for you. "Hatchet" is just old school horror at its finest.

• Lee ?

  
  I found Hatchet to be slightly disappointing. It was more comedy than horror overall and at times felt like a "Scary Movie" sequel! Just two kills occur in the first 45 minutes, and they happen in the opening sequence. But when the gore flows it's very bloody and very… More
  I found Hatchet to be slightly disappointing. It was more comedy than horror overall and at times felt like a "Scary Movie" sequel! Just two kills occur in the first 45 minutes, and they happen in the opening sequence. But when the gore flows it's very bloody and very graphic, none of that fake CGI stuff neither which was refreshing to see. The story is quite ridiculous at times and the deformed character of Victor Crowley is nothing we haven't seen before - Friday the 13th, Madman, Hell Night, Wrong Turn all spring to mind among many others. Still a fun 90 minutes though with some laughs and good gory kills, but it's nothing special.

• Steve K

  
  Hooray for belt sanders! Too much comedy, but still a great time.

• Cassandra M

  
  I recently went to see the debut of Hatchet in London, and it was great: a perfect mix of graphic violence and comedy that had me screaming, cheering, cringing and laughing out loud from beginning to end. Writer/director Adam Green is the real deal, not trying to make a quick buck by… More
  I recently went to see the debut of Hatchet in London, and it was great: a perfect mix of graphic violence and comedy that had me screaming, cheering, cringing and laughing out loud from beginning to end. Writer/director Adam Green is the real deal, not trying to make a quick buck by following the latest box office trends. This movie pays homage to the classic horror movies (Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Candyman, etc.), and Green does it with class and wit. The actors play their parts well - they are convincing in the horror scenes and hysterical in between. Be warned: the violence is very graphic, and there is a lot of topless nudity. If you can stomach it, and if you like this genre of film, then this is the movie for you. Hatchet is pure entertainment

• Ryan M

  
  ***1/2 out of **** "Hatchet" belongs to a long list of movies where a giant, hulking humanoid monster pops out of nowhere and starts killing people. In this case, that monster is a disfigured mutant named Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder); and those people are an unlikely… More
  ***1/2 out of **** "Hatchet" belongs to a long list of movies where a giant, hulking humanoid monster pops out of nowhere and starts killing people. In this case, that monster is a disfigured mutant named Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder); and those people are an unlikely bunch that take a New Orleans swamp tour by boat, get stranded when it hits rocks and sinks, make way to land, and sooner or later, stare Victor Crowley in the face. You need not know much about this lot; other than that they all die in the end. Yep, that's all you need to know. Alright, so perhaps a few of them are worth mentioning, as characters. It all starts with best buddies Ben (Joel David Moore) and Marcus (Deon Richmond); the former who quickly tires of the Mardi Gras celebration downtown, which his buddies are readily enjoying. Ben is recovering from a bad breakup; and the abundance of hot, half-naked women at the party scene isn't doing much to help him. Thus, he must reach to the back of his mind; where he remembers of a "haunted swamp tour" in the nearby area; mentioned and recommended by a friend. So they make their way over to the place where tours are given, pay the fee, and board the bus that shall bring them to the swamp. Also aboard; the rest of the film's major characters. Such people include: sleazy pornographic filmmaker (Joel Murray), his two starlets (Mercedes McNab and Joleigh Fioreavanti), happily-married and happy-to-be-here couple (Richard Riehle and Patrika Darbo), and a strange loner named Marybeth (Tamara Feldman). While Parry Shen, as the tour guide, isn't a particularly good, funny, or interesting one; he is the least of our problems, especially when the boat meets the fate that I mentioned earlier. It does indeed sink, thus provoking the others to safely walk from capsizing boat to slippery tree and rocks, and finally to land. Since basic and common logic says so, there's always help nearby; but of course, with these kinds of movies, there never quite is. An infamous legend - the deformed madman Victor Crowley - haunts the swamp area; hatchet - and many other assorted weapons to go along with it - in hand. And he's out for blood; preferably that of man. The writer and director of "Hatchet" is Adam Green. Like many beginning filmmakers working in this genre; he's been a horror fanatic since childhood and only now is he putting his knowledge and endless admiration to good use. The film is a sort of homage - a throwback - to 70's/80's slasher films; complete with its share of nudity, blood, guts, and gore. This would typically boring, even for a horror-comedy, but Green has a lot more than a few simple, cheap winks up his sleeve; and he's basically out to prove that he's the real deal, and I think he succeeds in doing so. Alright, I confess; I watch a lot of slasher movies both new and old. Few of them really impress me; but I think I'm drawn to them because I've learned from now that surprises can come out of nowhere, much like the villains in all these horror films that I watch. "Hatchet" is a rather delightful celebration of excess; it is an absolutely over-the-top-gruesome bloodbath that pretty much rivals any of recent memory. It's a thoroughly fun, hilarious, genuinely clever debut. And it's also one of the best slasher movies - and horror movies as a whole - from the previous decade. Unlike a lot of filmmakers of recent, Green understands that style comes in all forms; narrative, visual, etc. He employs dark - almost too dark - cinematography and buckets of blood to give "Hatchet" the sort of unique, classy, nostalgic feel that it needs to bring it to near-perfection; and it would seem that he was fully committed the entire time whilst making it. Sure, it doesn't have suspense; and sure, it isn't scary. But is it really meant to be? The film can either be viewed as a dark, gruesome, almost outlandishly daring (in violence) horror-comedy; or you can choose to be a cynical asshole, and you can take the whole thing completely seriously. Let's just say that it's your choice. However, I personally wouldn't want to miss out on such an devoted love letter to an often discriminated part of cinema; especially when it's got such a good filmmaker attached to it as well as such a good cast - including genre favorites such as Tony Todd (Candyman), Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger), John Carle Buechler (make-up artist and director for a few of the "Friday the 13th" sequels) and Joshua Leonard (one of the stars of "The Blair Witch Project"). Given such attributes, I feel that "Hatchet" almost down-right PROMISES those who tread its waters a good time at the movies. I for one had a lot of guilty, perhaps even memorable fun with the film; and I can't wait to hear from Green in the future. I think he's got a lot ahead of him; or at least that's my personal forecast. And it will be an accurate one as long as "Hatchet" doesn't lie; and let me tell you, this one, it probably doesn't.

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