Machete (2010)

Featured Audience Ratings

• John M

  
  All i have to say is. "Machete dont text" so so much fun

• Anthony L

  
  Much like many of the 70's Grindhouse/Exploitation movies, the film rarely lives up to the trailer. In that sense, it's a fitting tribute. It's not all bad though, you can take the film seriously when it doesn't take itself seriously - for the best part it's a… More
  Much like many of the 70's Grindhouse/Exploitation movies, the film rarely lives up to the trailer. In that sense, it's a fitting tribute. It's not all bad though, you can take the film seriously when it doesn't take itself seriously - for the best part it's a fun and silly film. The only problem I had was that it seemed rushed. The intro was done in the grindhouse fashion, grainy scratched film, aged orange tint and bad cuts - why this wasn't extended to the whole film is beyond me (or did Rodriguez only direct the first bit?). The cast is great and there are some excellent scenes but the classic scenes from the trailer seem to be an afterthought. Enjoyable but it did seem like a way to make a quick buck rather than be a heartfelt desire from Rodriguez - who is capable of much more. Mind you, after watching the deleted scenes, it could have been a lot worse!

• Tim S

  
  I was looking forward to Robert Rodriguez's big screen adaptation of his Grindhouse fake trailer classic Machete when it was first announced. I didn't care much for the idea of all of the big name actors and cameos, but I let that pass. Another Robert Rodriguez action movie… More
  I was looking forward to Robert Rodriguez's big screen adaptation of his Grindhouse fake trailer classic Machete when it was first announced. I didn't care much for the idea of all of the big name actors and cameos, but I let that pass. Another Robert Rodriguez action movie would be a lot of fun, right? Sad to say, it's not what I had hoped it would be. For starters, it's stuffed full of a convulted story that winds up being boring with the action taking a backseat, all in an effort just to incorporate footage from the trailer to make the trailer itself legit. Some might say that a poor story, dialogue and everything else is just what's necessary in order to recreate the Grindhouse feel of the movies it borrows its tone and style from, but I can't get behind that idea when most of the effects and action are done with modern techniques. There is so much CGI in this that it's unbelievable. I expected to see loads of fake blood, pyrotechnics and prosthetics, but instead I got really bad CGI shots of a machete going through Steven Seagal, faux gun fire in every direction, or even computer-generated blood squirting all over the place. That doesn't impress or delight me because I know it was done on a computer, so it has no value. So overall, I found the film to be quite boring and untrue to its own ideals. I've read that sequels are in the works and maybe they can do something a bit more creative the next time around, but I kind of doubt it. The bottom line here is that if you like movies about action with not much action in them or movies with bloodshed that isn't practical, you'll enjoy Machete. As for me, I'll continue to expect something with a little bit more put into it than that.

• Randy T

  
  De Niro's understated acting style merges with grindhouse like socks merge with sandals.

• paul s

  
  Another nod to B movie, action type films, and yet Robert Rodriguez knows full well what he's making, so he doesn't take himself, his film, or the genre seriously - and that's what makes the film fun. Always a master of film technique, going back to the first El… More
  Another nod to B movie, action type films, and yet Robert Rodriguez knows full well what he's making, so he doesn't take himself, his film, or the genre seriously - and that's what makes the film fun. Always a master of film technique, going back to the first El Mariachi which was wonderfully filmed at a cost of something like 10 grand, Rodriguez knows how to manipulate a camera and his audience, and while that's readily apparent here, it's his humor (being co-writer) that had me doing some serious belly laughs. It's interesting, after just reviewing Hopkins' writer/director mess (Slipstream), here we have Rodriguez running the show - being writer/director and musician (his band Chignon provides all the music for the film). The major difference is that Hopkins took himself seriously, while Rodriguez looks right into the camera and says "hey, I know this is a joke, you know this is a joke, and so why not have some fun". From the opening credits where we see that the film "introduces" Don Johnson, to the opening B film with the film name in huge block letters with a stentorian voice bellowing "Machete!!!!!!!" we know this is going to be a fun ride. And fun it is - who cares if Steven Segal's Hispanic accent keeps slipping (the same can be said for Johnson's Texas Twang) - that's part of the fun. It's also fun to watch Daniel Trejo just looking so bad ass, using any sharp object to vanquish his foes (in one scene he is surrounded by baddies, cuts into one, pulls out his intestines (an earlier scene had reminded us that intestines are 60 feet long) and uses said intestines as a rope - jumping out a window and swinging to the safety of a lower floor - shades of Spiderman! Michelle Rodriguez is prominently featured as the leader of the underground railroad that helps get Hispanics across the border. She works from a taco truck and is rumored to be the legendary rebel leader "She" a tongue in cheek nod to Che Rivera. When she shows up at the climactic battle scene jumping out of the back of an ambulance, clad in a leather bikini with gun belt, holding a huge automatic weapon I couldn't help but laugh - what a babe and what a scene (especially with her eye patch since she had earlier been shot in the eye). Coming into the big battle, the underground rallies at a chop shop, so Machete leads the way, bursting out of the shop in a 64 Impala convertible, following by all kinds of vintage cars all tricked out with big guns attached - and of course being Hispanic, they all have hydraulics, leading to a hilarious scene as they approach the Vigilante compound and start bouncing. Finally, after vanquishing the vigilantes (nice alliteration, yes?), Machete climbs atop a car and brandishes a huge Machete above his head - with all the Hispanics around him suddenly possessed with machetes that they all raise in tribute - hilarious! As the final credits role we are told that Machete will return in.... Machete Kills and ..... Machete Kills Again. Gotta love it.

• Brad W

  
  Machete was a great movie, it was completely what we wanted, blood, gore, and nudity. Machete (Danny Trejo) is a former Mexican Federale who plays by his own rules, and doesn't answer to anybody. In the wake of a harrowing encounter with feared drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal),… More
  Machete was a great movie, it was completely what we wanted, blood, gore, and nudity. Machete (Danny Trejo) is a former Mexican Federale who plays by his own rules, and doesn't answer to anybody. In the wake of a harrowing encounter with feared drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal), Machete finds himself in Texas, where the shadowy Booth (Jeff Fahey) offers him the opportunity to make some quick cash by assassinating the unscrupulous Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro). When the job goes awry and Machete realizes he's been set up, he turns to fierce taco queen Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), heavily armed holy man Padre (Cheech Marin), and trigger-happy socialite April (Lindsay Lohan) to show Booth that he just messed with the wrong Mexican. But before they can get to Booth, Machete's gang will have to contend with blade-wielding ICE agent Sartana (Jessica Alba), who never met an adversary she couldn't flay. The plot of the film is great, I was never bored and it was so ridiculous and fun that it worked for me. The acting is one of a kind in this, Danny Treyjo is cool in his first star role, Jessica Alba is sexy and awesome, and the rest of them just have very colorful characters and they all were very memorable. The action is the films main greatness, never before have I seen such amazing action scenes because Rodriques is not scared to go all out and make this as Rated R as possible. I loved Machete, and even though it was boring at many times and some parts were very stupid, its safe to say this is Robert Rodriguez's best film (next to Sin City).

• Spencer S

  
  Being completely objective, and not praising the badassery of Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, and the direction of Robert Rodriguez, it's still fairly easy to be ecstatic over this film. Besides the fact that, yes, this film knows what it is and therefore plays up some seriously… More
  Being completely objective, and not praising the badassery of Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, and the direction of Robert Rodriguez, it's still fairly easy to be ecstatic over this film. Besides the fact that, yes, this film knows what it is and therefore plays up some seriously over the top theatrics and action packed sequences to get a response, it really is a greatly executed script. None of this is brilliant by any means, but the way every detail pops on the screen was obviously handled with the greatest of care. I am of course emphasizing certain scenes, including Cheech Marin as a priest, fighting off a legion of baddies, anything to do with Lindsay Lohan, and the special effects in Machete's killing sprees including torrents of animatronic blood spurts and full body red makeup that looks fake, but in the best of ways. Because Machete was originally a trailer for the Rodriguez film Grindhouse, we're already in suspense, and know the kind of film we're about to watch. As this folk hero to illegal aliens kills off the men responsible for his family's deaths, he is also trying to clear his name, but you know when all is said and done he won't even care. He's a character that's always fighting, enemy or not. Sprinkled in are cameos by previously mentioned Cheech Marin, Lindsay Lohan, and a special treat, Robert De Niro. Each knows their duty to be flippant and unrealistic, so their presence never overwhelms. The action is perfectly choreographed, everything is zany to begin with so you never question what you're seeing, and Trejo's usual grit comes in handy along the way. Not for the faint at heart, or bored by films without precision.

• Jason C

  
  I don't know if I've ever seen a Robert Rodriguez movie that I haven't liked. I know that anytime his name is on the marque, I'll be consistently entertained. So I'm not the least bit surprised that I love, "Machete". It has all the demented… More
  I don't know if I've ever seen a Robert Rodriguez movie that I haven't liked. I know that anytime his name is on the marque, I'll be consistently entertained. So I'm not the least bit surprised that I love, "Machete". It has all the demented humor, gratuitous violence, entertaining characters, and great dialogue that Rodriguez films are known for. This is a great movie. Highest possible recommendation.

• Tsubaki S

  
  As long as you ignore the one dimensional political agenda of this one you will enjoy it. Trejo and Seagal deliver enough goods to ignore the bad acting from the leading ladies. Johnson was good too.

• Drake T

  
  I was expecting much worse considering the film's genre but this movie ended up being kind of awesome on a few levels. It often trips over it's own plot, not sure why they strived for the level of complexity that they did. Maybe the times call for it? Who knows? All we… More
  I was expecting much worse considering the film's genre but this movie ended up being kind of awesome on a few levels. It often trips over it's own plot, not sure why they strived for the level of complexity that they did. Maybe the times call for it? Who knows? All we really needed was the B-movie-exploitation fun which was all there. Anyway, a relatively satisfying ride in the world of tongue-in-cheek entertainment.

• Dean !

  
  A great fun, action, bloody, Grindhouse B-Movie with an all star cast. Not heard much about this, apparently a follow up film from a short trailer from the Death Proof film. So imagine the likes of Sin City, Pulp fiction with a latin feel and tongue in cheek humour firmly in place. A… More
  A great fun, action, bloody, Grindhouse B-Movie with an all star cast. Not heard much about this, apparently a follow up film from a short trailer from the Death Proof film. So imagine the likes of Sin City, Pulp fiction with a latin feel and tongue in cheek humour firmly in place. A pure fun, entertaining film not to be taken seriously. If you're a fan of Robert Rodriguez's films, you'll like it.

• Idrees K

  
  Solid film, very enjoyable. I love how carefree the movie feels. Loses a star because Danny Trejo is one extremely lucky guy...you'll understand when you watch the movie. Love the subliminal Che reference.

• Gordon A

  
  Will undoubtedly split opinion between Grindhouse fans who will marvel at its authentically awful acting and ludicrous plot and the uninitiated who may not appreciate these intended (?) features and miss out on some brainless splatter fun.

• Chris W

  
  Originally a faux trailer for a faux film...now...a reality. I enjoyed Machete back when it was just a faux trailer. I got excited whe nI heard they were actually gonna do something to it. Of course, I figured it would just be some small affair, probably something straight to DVD.… More
  Originally a faux trailer for a faux film...now...a reality. I enjoyed Machete back when it was just a faux trailer. I got excited whe nI heard they were actually gonna do something to it. Of course, I figured it would just be some small affair, probably something straight to DVD. That all changed of course, when news of the film's cast became known, since a film with this many notables (mostly De Niro) meant that it couldn't possibly be anything less than a wide theatrical release. Expectations were high, and I'm happy to say that this film delivers. It's not quite the epic exploitation masterpiece I was hoping it would be, but it still delivers the goods, and has proved one of the wildest, most entertaining, and bad ass films of recent years. It's a real blast. It took long enough, but Danny Trejo finally got the lead role in something. It's odd because for a lead, he doesn't talk much. Then again, he doesn't really need to. He's got great presence and is nothing but convincing. It's unlikely that he'll ever get "normal" lead roles, but at the same time, I wouldn't be bothered if he only got to be the lead in stuff like this. The rest of the cast is jsut as awesome (both in general, and with their performances). Don Johnson (complete with an "introducing" credit..lol) and Steven Seagal (!!) make some welcome appearances back to the big screen, even though both (especially Seagal) have seen better days . They do a decent job though, as doe the rest, including (surprisingly) Lohan. Granted, her role isn't that far removed from her real life, but she looks badass dressed as a gun-totin' nun. De Niro's hammy performance in Frankenstein kind of bugged me, and, while he's just as hammy here (if not more so), it's not out of place, and he seems to really be having some fun with it. Unsurprisingly, Rodriguez is a bad ass, but so is Alba. I had forgotten until seeing her here that her career started with her as a bad ass. It's a welcome return, I say. This movie is over the top, ridiculous, and tons of fun. That's the whole point. You may not like this type of stuff, but you definitely won't be bored, especially with unique touches like a woman hiding a cell phone in a hilariously odd location, and some really wild action setpieces, including a new way to go rapelling. As great as this is, it left me a bit disappointed. It's starts out with a weathered and scratched print, just like an old 70s grindhouse flick, and that's great, but after the first fe minutes, those touches disappear. I think they should have just gone all out and really made it the exploitation film to end all exploitation films, and kept it weathered and grimy the whole time. Also,

• Curtis L

  
  A perfect blend of comedy and horror, just like planet terror. It does a great job of balancing all the aspects of what it tries to accomplish. Great actors, action, and story. I want more!

• Dean M

  
  One of the coolest things about Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez's <i>Grindhouse</i> was the fake trailers in between the directors' films. <i>Machete</i> was one such trailer, and now it's a full-length feature starring Danny Trejo, this… More
  One of the coolest things about Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez's <i>Grindhouse</i> was the fake trailers in between the directors' films. <i>Machete</i> was one such trailer, and now it's a full-length feature starring Danny Trejo, this seems to be his first full title role as such as he's always a supporting actor in his past films. An ultra-violent, hilariously-gory revenge romp full of naked flesh and arterial sprays, this action-packed film is a schlocky delight. Trejo deadpans, Robert De Niro hams, Don Johnson chomps cigars and Lindsay Lohan strips for a threesome with Machete and her on-screen mum! And just when the political enchilada of immigration threatens to grind the film to a halt, Machete leaps out of a hospital window using a bad-guy's guts to break his fall. Remember how cool you wanted Stallone's <i>Expendables</i> to be? Well, <i>Machete</i> is a Mexi-can who delivers the goods. Holy guacamole! In the tradition of <i>From Dusk Till Dawn</i> and <i>Desperado</i>, this is enormous fun for cult movie buffs and action fans.

• Cynthia S

  
  Non-stop action, blood, gore and plenty of nudity. Probably the only Robert Rodriguez film that I actually made it to the end. Very cheezy. Very ridiculous.....especially expecting me to believe that Danny Trejo can pull off a "ladies man" role. I'm sorry, but he's… More
  Non-stop action, blood, gore and plenty of nudity. Probably the only Robert Rodriguez film that I actually made it to the end. Very cheezy. Very ridiculous.....especially expecting me to believe that Danny Trejo can pull off a "ladies man" role. I'm sorry, but he's just gross. I would've given this movie 2 stars, but the over-the-top violence, and absurd scenes made me laugh. So extra credit for that, I guess.

• Clintus M

  
  Machete don't text! You'll either love it or hate it; there's no middle ground with this ridiculously entertaining movie. Stars abound, almost too many to name complementing Danny Trejo, a face movie goers have loved (or cringed at) for years. DeNiro's here, Cheech… More
  Machete don't text! You'll either love it or hate it; there's no middle ground with this ridiculously entertaining movie. Stars abound, almost too many to name complementing Danny Trejo, a face movie goers have loved (or cringed at) for years. DeNiro's here, Cheech Marin too, even Lindsay Lohan (topless!) This film flaunts huge, cartoonish violence; it is outrageous in every way. That's exactly the draw to it, its simply hard to explain how much fun this is despite or because of Trejo's unmatched crater face and the amount of blood spilled. Speaking of Trejo as the title character, I love that despite his extreme ugliness, two of the most beautiful women in film (Alba and Rodriguez) fall for him. The movie had some great elements and some I could have done without. I loved the humor inserted in unexpected places, like the guy pushing the taco cart in the attack on the vigilante compound. However, I didn't enjoy the poor, exploited Mexican theme, and I don't like Steven Segal in anything. That part could have been better cast. The political angle was a joke; Jessica Alba's speech about what's the law and what's right left me wondering why it was included. Overall though, I found the movie to be outrageous, cringing fun. The word gratuitous came to mind often.

• Adam M

  
  Boring. Yes, boring -- no matter how much pyrotechnics and blood-and-guts, no matter how passable everyone is (including Seagal). I except the scene where Machete finds an ingenious way to rappel through a window to a lower floor. Trejo's performance is loagy and so are most of… More
  Boring. Yes, boring -- no matter how much pyrotechnics and blood-and-guts, no matter how passable everyone is (including Seagal). I except the scene where Machete finds an ingenious way to rappel through a window to a lower floor. Trejo's performance is loagy and so are most of the action scenes, even though a few shots will often cut together brilliantly and often disgustingly. Jump cuts are supposed to make you laugh at how impossible what's happening is. That joke wears pretty quickly. Then, you start feeling bored, like you're watching the first movie ever made up of purposefully bad lines and mayhem at the end of jump cuts -- with De Niro in it. Technical notes: DV footage looks like shit, and not because of the fake scratchy print effects. Some of the CGI bullet wounds are awful, and not on purpose. Fits with the plot if Rodriguez has done a false flag operation in support of celluloid.

• Mark H

  
  Trashy actioner about a highly skilled former Mexican Federal turned renegade. He's hired by a shady businessman to assassinate a senator campaigning against illegal immigrants. Unfortunately director Robert Rodriguez's tribute to 70s exploitation films like Death Wish… More
  Trashy actioner about a highly skilled former Mexican Federal turned renegade. He's hired by a shady businessman to assassinate a senator campaigning against illegal immigrants. Unfortunately director Robert Rodriguez's tribute to 70s exploitation films like Death Wish fails when it plays it conventionally straight. This would have worked better as unadulterated parody, but it frequently succumbs to the flaws it's trying to make fun of. The beheadings, stabbings and bullets exploding through human flesh are unending. If you can stomach all the bloodshed, the picture does have moments where it shows a sense of humor. In one cartoonishly violent display, Machete stabs an attacker, reaches into his chest, grabs his small intensive and then uses it as a rope to swing down to the next floor. That scene works because it's ridiculously creative, but more often than not, its heavy-handed carnage is depressing. It is in fact the non plus ultra of violence. Machete's origins rest in a fake movie trailer that appeared in the box office failure Grindhouse. It probably should have remained that way. It was a lot funnier as a two-minute teaser.

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