Only someone like James Bond could be the father of Nadya Suleman's children. No, but seriously though, I am not about to say that title, because I know what they're going for, and I can't believe they let them get away with that title. Now, over twenty years of… More
Only someone like James Bond could be the father of Nadya Suleman's children. No, but seriously though, I am not about to say that title, because I know what they're going for, and I can't believe they let them get away with that title. Now, over twenty years of desensitization later, "There Will Be Blood" is still slapped with an R rating, just because two people get knocked off the screen by big hunks of wood... and also because of, well, a merciless, gory sequence in which someone gets pummelled to a bloody pulp with a bowling pin, but that's all the way at the end of that two-and-a-half-hours-plus film. Oh, there will be blood all right; all the way at the end of the film, and yet not even they could escape the MPAA, and yet this film gets away with its title, and of all times, around the time they where coming up with PG-13 to make audiences less offended. Well, at least it's not as vulgar as the title to the second "Austin Powers". Jeez, just making fun of "The Spy Who Loved Me" - the long awaited return to form for the "Bond" films - alone is offensive enough. Well, in all honesty, it's not like the series kept up that form, because right after "The Spy Who Loved Me", they went right back to "just fine" "Bond" films; and sure this is one of them, but, like most any other "Bond" film, it's not above "just fine", because it too has its share of missteps.
I know that I've been saying, "This film wastes no time" a lot lately, but really, this film wastes no time in showing you how cheesy it's going to be, not just with its title, but by having one of Bond's very first lines be in response to finding out his alias for his opening mission: "Toro; sounds like a load of 'bull'." Well, sure enough, right after that, you get silly over-the-top stunts and corny one-liners, all before they even start up the cheesy opening credits song; and if that's not enough, right after the opening credits, we get a tense, thrilling and shocking chase scene with... a clown! Of course, the opener not only shows you how cheesy this film is going to be, but that it's pretty much "Goldfinger 2", not just because it has the same type of small scope that's been absent in just about every preceeding "007" film, "except" for "Goldfinger", but because, just like "Goldfinger", the aforecited opening mission has "nothing" to do with the main plot point. Okay, really, outside of all that, this isn't following the formula of "Goldfinger", as I made it seem. However, I do rather wish that it would adopt the flaw of rushed scenes and little exposition, because even though those flaws are bothersome, at least they made the film move at a quicker pace, which isn't to say that this film is boring, because it's not really dull, but neither is it terribly captivating, and with the film moving paceless, you find yourself just drifting along, becoming rather unengaged from time to time. For the longest time around this point in the series after "The Spy Who Loved Me", we got an onslaught of just so terribly average "007" films that offered little uniqueness; and this film continues that streak. Still, it's hard to get tired of "Bond", for although this is yet another installment that offers hardly anything new, we always have plenty of default strengths in the series that are, of course, back for this installment.
John Glen returns as director after "For Your Eyes Only", but with the scope being downsized, and while the cinematography is still pretty darn good, it's not quite broad enough for Glen to, well, "attempt" to replicates Lewis Gilbert's trademark great taste in location and action. Still, what wiggle room Glen does get for his style, he wiggles like an epileptic. Sure, the stunts aren't quite as sharply-done as they were in "For Your Eyes Only", but we still get our traditional delicious dose of slick choreography and staging to liven up any action situation, whether it be serious and tense, or fun and campy. "Diamonds Are Forever" didn't pull the worst campy tricks ever, but the point in this film where Bond daringly escapes an attack team in the woods by swinging over them on a vine while exclaiming a Tarzan howl tops any moment of cheesy, fun camp in "Diamonds Are Forever". Speaking of Bond, how 'bout that Roger Moore, eh? I don't know; what can I tell y'all that I didn't already say in all of the other reviews? I don't know, but what I do know is that Moore is back and as great as he's ever been as Bond, partially because he is given all of this cheesy material to really show that he make something as crazy as the aforementioned Tarzan Stunt, as well as a lot of cornball lines actually seem charming and cool, and if that doesn't tell you how great this guy is as Bond, then I don't know what will.
Overall, it's not always cool or compelling, and like plenty of other Roger Moore "007" installments succeeding "The Spy Who Loved Me", little, if any uniqueness is brought to the table, but with John Glen returning to deliver on some actually fun and effective camp, both on and off the battlefield, and Roger Moore delivering one of his most charming portrayals of Bond, "Octo...-"Goldfinger 2" stands as just as enjoyable as any other "007" adventure.
2.5/5 - Fair