Featured Audience Ratings

• jd c

  
  This movie is hilarious. I'm not going to even say the acting is bad here, because this should be viewed more as a spoof (how can really you take this movie seriously? Do yourself a favor. Don't!), but I will say the acting is enjoyably goofy and I laughed my fu*king ass… More
  This movie is hilarious. I'm not going to even say the acting is bad here, because this should be viewed more as a spoof (how can really you take this movie seriously? Do yourself a favor. Don't!), but I will say the acting is enjoyably goofy and I laughed my fu*king ass off. Crispin Glover (George McFly from Back to the Future) who I admire as an artist, who is in fact bizarre and eccentric, but purely a genius in my eyes, is the solid rock which holds Simon Says on a pedestal. He's so maniacally deranged, it's scary to see how natural it comes to him. Simon Says is a screwball horror film. Even when it takes itself serious it becomes funny (hell, those are some of the funniest moments). The cast and crew must've had a blast making this film. Logic out the window, anything seems to go in this horror flick. Blades fly all over the forest slicing heads off, a dead body hanging from a noose swings 50 feet into the street hitting a moving vehicle, a giant size marijuana joint gets shoved down a man's throat and suffocates him, the killer runs around the forest in furry suits, cracking jokes and making a fool of himself. Need I say more? Now let's look at the characters. Can the actors act? Sure they can. They just do a great job acting like a bunch of fools. They seem like characters who just stepped out of an 80's sex comedy, who burned about 1000 brain cells, and forgot why they should be fearful of a guy in a bear suit swinging a machete at their heads. Do they scream? Sure they do, but why? I think they should be laughing. I know I would if I was in their shoes, because if I was in their shoes I'd be on planet Jupiter where nothing makes much sense, and everyone is half-baked or just flat out retarded. My big breasted Barbie-doll girlfriend would be annoyingly loud and overdramatic, I might have to take to sewing her mouth shut and sending her afloat. My friends would repeat shit I'd be embarrassed to say in front of a blind and deaf retarded Sumatran rat-monkey with no legs. Guy's with chainsaws and hokey masks would be doing late night stand up shows, drunk and disorderly, pissing on stage if not on the audience. Yes, I believe this would be a funny world to live in. Not that this movie goes the distance of my explanation but it's a world very much similar to mine. Can any of what I said on Jupiter be a reality on our planet? I likely doubt that. But nothing that happens in Simon Says would happen in reality either, and I mean nothing. And like my description of Jupiter this world that these characters in Simon Says live in is just as funny, and silly, therefore I don't believe I'd be able to hold a straight face, even if I were just acting in the film. Do the characters run from the crazy killer? Again, sure they do. But in all the wrong places (of course). Let me quote the famous Sidney Prescott on the likings of horror films - "What's the point they're all the same, some stupid killer stalking some big-breasted girl who can't act who is always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door, it's insulting." What we have here is a horror film giving the finger to other horror films. Simon Says fits under Sidney's explanation, but it's not like the director just didn't get it or it flew over his head. The whole point of this movie (or so it seems) is to take any logical choice or decision-making in horror films and do the exact opposite, as do many slasher films (especially from the 80's). That doesn't necessarily always make for a bad horror movie, but many times it can make for a boring one, or even just a way typical slasher film. What saves Simon Says, like I said before, is the comedy, it's sense of humor. Many horror flicks can be like one big joke. Either a funny one, or stale one, one that's not so funny. Simon Says is a joke that I found to be funny. I understood it and I enjoyed my time laughing and cringing at it's delightful gory set pieces. And for the gore fans - here's your ticket for a bloody fix. You'll be pleased with the red grub in this movie. The forest is painted aplenty for your twisted and little disturbing viewing pleasures. So enjoy! The best way to sum this up and give more of an idea of what Simon Says is like, is to say "Cabin Fever meets Shredder (2003 horror film) meets Friday the 13th". Be opened minded. It's ridiculous, but funny...and bloody. It's a must see for hardcore horror fans. Don't judge this by my description alone, but watch the film and judge by it's scenarios to see where I'm coming from. I'm simply giving a heads up and preparing you for a ride that's just as ridiculous as seeing a deer being probed from an alien wearing a Santa suit. But it's a ride well worth it. <a href="http://s294.photobucket.com/albums/mm89/JDHallowEEn/HorrorQf/?action=view&current=SimonSays.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm89/JDHallowEEn/HorrorQf/SimonSays.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

• A.D. V

  
  Moron characters that you care about anyway a few minutes before they die, inventive kills, a high gory body count and a demented killer in the form of Crispin Glover. THIS is how you make an entertaing slasher movie.

• Lady D

  
  One of the worst Horror films ever made! It?s a complete rip off of other teen Horror movies with terrible acting and over the top clichés. Honestly the chances are you have seen it all before!!

• Film C

  
  Terrible if te movie isnt bad enough its the acting but nithings is as annoying as that bloody accent its a pointless annoying horror that is typical of so many horrors

• Luke B

  
  Pretty fucking awful. Crispin Glover has given some fine performances in the past but what the hell is this? He gives possibly the worst performance of the whole film. It's stupid as hell as well, with the ending seeing a girl burst through a charred corpse and the often… More
  Pretty fucking awful. Crispin Glover has given some fine performances in the past but what the hell is this? He gives possibly the worst performance of the whole film. It's stupid as hell as well, with the ending seeing a girl burst through a charred corpse and the often mentioned magic pick axe machine. It's also pretty sick but not in a good way, although the dog death was hilarious.

• Jacob P

  
  A very good horror movie with a twisted plot.

• Sylvester K

  
  You actually don't care if they die or not, oblivious, doesn't make any sense whatsoever, but it did try to show some effort.

• Ed Fucking H

  
  This film is as unimaginative and generic as it gets. It does however get two things right. Excellent death scenes and Crispin Glover plays a good psychopath. Worth a watch I guess, but definently doesn't demand repeated viewings.

• Juny L

  
  Simon says is just a silly film,but not horrible.Is a campy & goofy horror film that isn't meant to be taken seriously.It has a slow start,but after 25-30 mins then it goes at a good pace.The film delivers few decent scenes that were entertaining,some nice gory moments,nice… More
  Simon says is just a silly film,but not horrible.Is a campy & goofy horror film that isn't meant to be taken seriously.It has a slow start,but after 25-30 mins then it goes at a good pace.The film delivers few decent scenes that were entertaining,some nice gory moments,nice setting & atmosphere in the woods.I was expecting a good performance by Crispin Glover ,who turn out to be good in the film "Willard",but wasn't so good in this film.I can't say much about the rest of the cast & the characters are annoying.The ending turn out to be stupid,perhaps a sequel in mind.50/50 on this film,it could be fun at times & also too silly. <div style="width:320px;"><a href="http://www.flixster.com/photos/simon-says-simon-says-11837232"><img src="http://content6.flixster.com/photo/11/83/72/11837232_ori.jpg" border="0"/></a><div style="text-align:center;font-size:10px;"><a href="http://www.flixster.com">Flixster</a> - Share Movies</div></div>

• Christopher B

  
  This is a truly awful film. The writing, directing, editing, shot composition and acting (except by one particular fella) are terrible. But it's got 2 redeeming values, and boy are they redeeming. The kills and the awesome Crispin Glover. When someone gets Glover in a film… More
  This is a truly awful film. The writing, directing, editing, shot composition and acting (except by one particular fella) are terrible. But it's got 2 redeeming values, and boy are they redeeming. The kills and the awesome Crispin Glover. When someone gets Glover in a film it's like God visits them in a dream and personally blesses the film. There is no possible way that it can suck. Glover is a blast, overacting like hell and making up for the rest of the truly unwatchable characters. Honestly, the movie spends the first 40 something minutes on these teens and it takes a strong man not to run from the theater screaming like a Banshee. I'm sure if you were in the woods with these kids there, you'd decide to kill them as well. And speaking of killin', the majority of deaths in this film are pretty effin' great. Lots of gore in store for anyone who can make it past the first bit. The movie's a complete mess, couldn't expect much else for the guy who did Harry and the Hendersons when he tries to make a horror film, but oh what a glorious mess it is.

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