Simon Sez (1999)

0% of critics liked it
(19 reviews)
20% of users liked it
(2,556 ratings)

Former basketball star Dennis Rodman stars in this action-and-espionage thriller as Simon, an Interpol agent called into action when the daughter of a close friend is abducted. In order to track down the kidnappers, Simon seeks the assistance of a pair of monks (John Pinette and Ricky Harris) who… More Former basketball star Dennis Rodman stars in this action-and-espionage thriller as Simon, an Interpol agent called into action when the daughter of a close friend is abducted. In order to track down the kidnappers, Simon seeks the assistance of a pair of monks (John Pinette and Ricky Harris) who are experts in computer sleuthing. Simon Sez was Rodman's first solo starring vehicle, following his dramatic debut alongside Jean-Claude Van Damme in Double Team. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi

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Rating, Runtime: PG-13, 1 hr. 24 min.
Directed By: Kevin Elders
Written By: Rudy Cohen
Genres: Action & Adventure, Art House & International, Comedy

In Theaters: Sep 24, 1999 Wide
On DVD: Aug 28, 2001
Studio: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

Critic Reviews

, Entertainment Weekly
This cockamamy action flick is excruciatingly formulaic -- brimming with spy movie cliches but devoid of the genre's fun, upper-class pretensions.
Joe Leydon, Variety
A frenetically junky action adventure that will quickly dribble off to vid stores after a token fast break in theatrical release.
Lawrence Van Gelder, New York Times
Neither the Rivera scenery nor the martial arts of Xiong Xin Xin, much less the automotive stunts attributable to Remy Julienne, can lift Simon Sez beyond the very ordinary.
Kevin Thomas, Los Angeles Times
Movies and Rodman would seem to be made for each other, but the pictures will have to start getting better than this one.
Nathan Rabin, AV Club
Dennis Rodman may be a great rebounder, but as a pop-culture icon, he's a one-trick pony.
Maitland McDonagh, TV Guide's Movie Guide
This on-the-cheap action thriller appears to exist purely as a showcase for the limited talents of self-created caricature Dennis Rodman, who in turn clearly needs to exploit himself while the exploiting is good.
Chris Gore, Film Threat
It's as painful to watch as Rodman's star-posturing interviews.
Eric D. Snider, EricDSnider.com
If you must watch it -- and I shudder to imagine the circumstances under which one must -- watch it in a light mood, perhaps under the influence of something.
Dwayne E. Leslie, Boxoffice Magazine
The film's feeble attempts at humor are tedious; like the character of Nick, the film quickly goes from being funny to silly to annoying.
Michael Dequina, TheMovieReport.com
With such sheer ineptitude onscreen it's amazing that this hack job didn't go straight to video.
Evan Gatehouse, Apollo Guide
If you're a big Dennis Rodman fan, watch him playing basketball. If you're not, then you have zero reason to take in this movie.
Greg Muskewitz, eFilmCritic.com
One of the most awful movies (if you could even call it a movie) this year.
Russell Smith, Austin Chronicle
Me, I'll stick to appreciating Worm Rodman in his true and natural element: the 96-foot hardwood floor.
Jorge Avila Andrade, Moviola
Mal actuada, mal editada, mal musicalizada y peor dirigida

Read all 14 critic reviews

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Featured Audience Ratings

Steve K

Total indefensible trash. Great stuff.
Stephen E

Sweet Jesus God Almighty, what have we here! Who in their right mind would even come close to imagining such an awful movie? What did the people involved with this film think they were doing? Were they even thinking at all? Were their careers in such bad shape that they needed for… More
Sweet Jesus God Almighty, what have we here! Who in their right mind would even come close to imagining such an awful movie? What did the people involved with this film think they were doing? Were they even thinking at all? Were their careers in such bad shape that they needed for this movie to be made? And even then, don't they have any decency or moral fiber to speak of? God help them all!
Stephen E

Sweet Jesus God Almighty, what have we here! Who in their right mind would even come close to imagining such an awful movie? What did the people involved with this film think they were doing? Were they even thinking at all? Were their careers in such bad shape that they needed for… More
Sweet Jesus God Almighty, what have we here! Who in their right mind would even come close to imagining such an awful movie? What did the people involved with this film think they were doing? Were they even thinking at all? Were their careers in such bad shape that they needed for this movie to be made? And even then, don't they have any decency or moral fiber to speak of? God help them all!