Southland Tales

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  June 27, 2009

  DrZeek

  Boxer Santaros: My character... he realizes that the apocalyptic crime rate is because of global deceleration. The rotation of the earth is slowing down at a rate of point zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero six miles per hour each day disrupting the chemical equilibrium in ...( read more)the human brain causing very irrational criminal behavior.
  
  Director Richard Kelly follows up his insanely popular among cult audiences debut feature Donnie Darko, to bring audiences another ambitious project that is sure to find a cult audience as well.
  
  Initially panned hard at the Cannes Film Festival, and later among the majority of critics after it finally got a theatrical release, the movie is a large mess of characters and plot, some of which develops, the rest just drifts away. I walked away from this movie understanding what had happened in terms of the development of its story, but not really interested in what it meant or what the underlying themes were.
  
  Its still watchable however, not really terrible in any way, just too jumbled.
  
  The story surrounds a three day period set in Los Angeles in an alternate futuristic reality in the year 2008. A kidnapped Actor with political ties, Boxer Santoros played by Dwayne Johnson, finds himself with amnesia, currently hooking up with a porn star/reality TV host Krysta Now, Sarah Michelle Geller.
  
  Krysta Now: Join us for an in-depth discussion of the penetrating issues facing society today. Issues like abortion, terrorism, crime, poverty, social reform, quantum teleportation, teen horniness and war.
  
  They are involved with a extremist group that are using an ex cop and his twin brother, both Sean William Scott, to help sabotage the work of a political candidate.
  
  The world all of these characters live in is currently going through a number of energy and fuel crisis along with facing WWIII issues, and plenty of other issues that are set up.
  
  There is a lot going on, all of which is narrated by a character played by Justin Timberlake. The cast is one of the strangest assembled since Mars Attacks, featuring a number of random actors as well as former and current SNL stars.
  
  Announcer on PA: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the way the world ends. Not with a whimper, but with a bang. But there is hope. In the end we can be reassured by one undeniable truth. Nobody rocks the cock like Krysta Now. And I mean nobody.
  
  The movie plays out like a dark comedy/sci-fi/satire using quotations from the Book of Revelations, and making references to a number of other weird movies including Brazil, 12 Monkeys, Dr. Strangelove, and the film noir Kiss Me Deadly of all movies. Basically this movie is very weird.
  
  Of the actors, some of them seem to get what they're doing, others just seem out of place. The Rock, who I usually enjoy, doesn't have his natural charisma to help him here. Gellar actually fares pretty well given her part. Scott seems to be the most familiar with what he needs to be doing, making him the most effective.
  
  As far as the supporting cast goes, older folks like John Laroquette and Nora Dunn seem to get it as well, but others like Wallace Shawn, Cheri Oteri, and especially John Lovitz are just wrong here.
  
  In terms of Kelly's style, its a pretty decent film. There is the same familiar cleverness present in Donnie Darko, providing for a bleak but watchable tone, although it moves very slowly at times, which is especially apparent for a 2 hr and 20 m movie. The soundtrack is pretty good, scored by Moby.
  
  Overall, I was not disappointed with this movie because I wasn't expecting much. It certainly wasn't frustratingly bad, its just messy.
  
  On repeated viewings, I find my same opinions hold up, but for some reason, I had a desire to come back to this movie. It has a certain level of ambition that is hard to explain. The film is watchable in a very strange way that makes me enjoy the film, despite still not gathering much of a personal idea of what the film wants to say. Some elements become clear, but its still damn weird. However, I find it indescribably enjoyable.
  
  Boxer Santaros: I'm a pimp... and pimps don't commit suicide.

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• 
  
  June 15, 2009

  mjgildea

  If the re-release/director's cut of Donnie Darko didn't convince you that Richard Kelly was a flash in the pan, Southland Tales should seal the argument. I will give Kelly that he put together a fine soundtrack and the grandiose and truly random casting was almost... inspired at ...( read more)a few points (hell, a few of the actors even did good jobs) but that same randomness (the Killers video with Justin Timberlake for instance) along with the tidal wave of half-baked and unresolved concepts were Southland Tales' downfall. If about 45 minutes were shaved off and a third of the nonsense was dropped this could've been a great movie. Instead it was about 2 1/2 disjointed hours of my I'd really like back...

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• 
  
  April 21, 2009

  Godless

  This mediocre movie starts off with some interesting WW3 senarios and then spirals into a poorly done non sensical mess. The director tried to go artsy towards the end but I'm pretty sure he just remade a mash up of Highlander 2 and Time Cop. Oh and lets not forget the line "Pimp...( read more)s don't commit suicide".

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• 
  
  November 29, 2008

  garystev

  Writer/Director Richard Kelly had a hard act to follow with the ground-breaking 'Donnie Darko', and here he gives it a bloody good go! An elaborate story with a very eclectic cast and ultimately a clever script, it won't appeal to everyone and demands multiple viewings. Still, wh...( read more)at we get is equally as interesting as a David Lynch classic and if you can slot this one into any particular genre, then you probably missed something. Thankfully, very, very different.

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• 
  
  November 2, 2008

  AgentLexi2132

  ''This is the way the World ends. This is the way the World ends. This is the way the World ends. Not with a whimper, but with a bang.''
  
  (Adjust that to ends with whimper, no bang...)
  
  Southland Tales is an ensemble piece set in the futuristic landscape of Los Angeles on ...( read more)July 4, 2008...
  
  Dwayne Johnson: Boxer Santaros / Jericho Cane
  
  Southland Tales isn't a movie for most audiences. You won't relate to any characters, and you won't follow or really care about the preposterous plot. It is dark and cynical. Despite it's heavy-handed political story, there is no deep, introspective meaning behind anything whatsoever. This is why many people won't get it, and thus will hate it. It's a dark film with a dash of comedy and a heavy dose of LSD.
  
  Critics have used the word mishmash...and it is. Just like David Lynch and Terry Gilliam, Richard Kelly is clearly conflicted between telling a coherent, compelling story while simultaneously expressing his creative vision. Sometimes you have to choose one or the other, and he chose the latter this time. With disastrous consequences... This movie is a disgrace, and if you are confused or put off by the plot, just grimace or leave the room for a few moments to recover momentarily. The entire story is explained very early on during an awfully amateurish movie pitch scene. After that, all that matters is you survive proceedings.
  
  ''Scientists are saying the future is going to be far more futuristic than they originally predicted.''
  
  Director Richard Kelly's life he's leading as a director is more akin and similar to that of George Lucas.
  Tons of half-baked ideas, some terrible casting choices, and nobody to whisper and tell him "Make some serious script revisions, or have somebody else write your screenplay for the love of God."
  Kelly seems overwhelmingly convinced that he is a genius, as his pretentious storyline shows, only the last three ''chapters" (If you can call them chapters, I call them disjointed and misused) of an apparent six-chapter saga are presented in the film,(Like the first Star Wars movies!) with audiences expected to buy the first three chapters in graphic novel form - essentially forcing people to once again do lots of homework in order to fully get the movie, just as like with Donnie Darko. Boy oh boy, what an ego this man's got. But I'm not falling for it. Despite the heavy-handed use of Biblical references (how sickeningly original) and classic poetry (particularly T.S. Eliot's The Hollow Men, which Kelly paraphrases), the low crass humour and flat stale festering dialogue in this intrepid satire are what betray Kelly's true sensibilities.
  
  Richard Kelly clearly made this movie for himself and for himself only. Sure, the movie cost very little to make, but I think most people would have put the money to more effective means. So self indulgent, so esoteric that the idea revolves in some alternate little world that only exists in Kelly's muddled mind. Where do you start to explain the madness?
  
  ''Let's dry our tears and face our fears.''
  
  Clearly, the whole alternate time line stuff did not work. The primary idea of making a neo-futuristic movie is to put it in the future, not start it in the past or present. Its one thing to say that a nuclear war was started in Abilene, Texas, but it is another thing to say it started years before the suggested time line of the movie. Therein lies the first big problem with Southland Tales. There is no Urban Pacification Units, there is no USIdent and there is no weird scientist creating a new energy source to ween us off of oil. Now, if this movie was placed in the near future, like say seven or eight years from now, then the audience is instantly drawn into the fantasy and the impact of the images. Instead, the audience is lost and they know they are watching a poorly delivered movie.
  
  Look, there's Kevin Smith dressed up like an old man! John Larroquette from Night Court having his balls tasered! The Rock just called that slutty Bai Ling a bitch and then she fell on the floor going "Ooh!", that'll show her! This is to put if politely a truly AWFUL film, devoid of any truth, emotion, intelligence or genuine creativity. (Kelly works hard to explain a lot of his story here, too, and guess what - in the end, it's kind of a rip off of the masterful Donnie Darko, with its parallel universes and temporal shifts and such.) The actors, most of whom are the sort who need a lot of direction to be good, recite their lines without feeling or emotion, as lost as the rest of us are. (I assume Johnson, Scott and Gellar signed on for Kelly's hipster credits, the rest of the cast were surely just hungry for any work whatsoever. Especially Justin Timberlake who kills us with badly delivered narration and acting) Even the CG effects are abysmal! The cinematography's horrendous! I could go on for a few lifetimes, but what depresses me most is that there will doubtlessly be new additional fans who will defend all this shabbily-executed nonsense as visionary, and the misguided cult of Richard Kelly will only grow, but seriously only deluded or drug addled people will make sense of this catastrophe.
  
  While antics may appear to be weirdly amusing, it leaves you severed on an emotional level. Donnie Darko worked so well because it drew you in, but Southland seems to deliberately keep you at arm's length lest you miss out on some of Kelly's political messages. For all its mystery, intrigue, and action, it feels a bit soulless, and goes out with a whimper as opposed to the bang it so desires.
  
  ''Ladies and gentlemen, the party is over. Have a nice apocalypse.''

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• 
  
  November 20, 2009

  21rclemente

  Good cameos and SNL roughneck approach... innovative

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• 
  
  November 13, 2009

  Rosepetal75

  An action film actor named Boxer Santaros (Dwayne Johnson) with amnesia as Jericho Cane alongside an ex-porn star named Krista Now/Krysta Lynn Kapowski (Sarah Michelle Gellar) & Identical twin brothers named Private/Officer Roland & Ronald Taverner (Seann William Scott).

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• 
  
  November 4, 2009

  VampireKiki

  loved it it was so good

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• 
  
  October 21, 2009

  mazzy12345

  Very odd and mediocre, though it did have a few interesting aspects.

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• 
  
  October 2, 2009

  luiser2gh

  Mi calificacion es debido a que aplaudo a un director con agallas, pero eso no significa que esta sea una buena pelicula, contrariamente es un enredo total, la pelicula es "rara" y algunas veces eso puede ser algo bueno, este no es el caso. La eleccion del cast esta llena de c-li...( read more)st y algunos d-list; y creo como idea conceptual del porque estan ellos aqui, funciona, pero la realidad es que las actuaciones estan all over the place, probablemente si se necesitaban buenos actores para cargar con la pelicula, o por lo menos para que no se sintieran tan ridiculas las actuaciones, La produccion esta medio bien, la foto es agradable por momentos, pero no es sobresaliente, la produccion de diseño fue un poco propositiva, pero no llega a ser desarrollada ni en una 1/4 parte a mi parecer, aparte les falto "gusto", yo se que era lo que querian representar, pero ese tipo de cultura se ha representado mucho mas kitsch y a la vez mas bella, rara contradiccion pero se ha hecho.
  
  Ahora regreso al punto donde comence, a hablar de la direccion de Richard Kelly, es claro que le interesa el tema del rompimiento de la cuarta dimension (tiempo-espacio) como lo hizo de alguna forma con la metafisica en Donnie Darko, pero aqui si se le va la mano, no puede manejar la pelicula, no se entiende nada, hay demasiaso texto, que no se si significa algo, que leer, que probablemente el queria que se viera la pelicula varias veces para poder leerla bien, pero la verdad es que con una vez basto, no creo que tenga ganas de verla nuevamente, aun cuando me este perdiendo de algo extraordinario, creo que es un perfecto ejemplo de cuando menos siempre es mas, en todo sentido, son demasiadas ideas, esta a mi parecer mal escrita, y con dialogos que son de risa, cuando no tendrian que serlo, aun asi, respeto el hecho que quizo hacer una pelicula diferente, aun cuando haya fallado catastroficamente en el intento y haya dejado ver que le falta talento para manejar algo a esta escala, habra que ver su siguiente pelicula para en realidad ver cual fue el accidente, si fue Donnie Darko o fue Southland Tales. 5/10.-

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View more Southland Tales reviews at RottenTomatoes.com

• 
  May 1, 2009

  Gx7

  MIRANDA RICHARDSON RAAAAAWWKKS!! WOOOOO!! :P
• 
  January 2, 2008

  angleprincesspretty

  i really want to see this movie i love the rock
• 
  January 9, 2007

  ShysubGirl

  I can't wait for this. Been waiting a few years, since I first heard about. I like it when they try something totally different from what they have done before. I hope they pull it off.

• Ling Bai
• Justin Timberlake
• Mandy Moore
• Sarah Michelle Gellar
• Seann William Scott
• Dwayne Johnson

Click a thumb to vote on that suggestion, or add your own suggestions.

• 
  Donnie Darko (58%)
• 
  Revolver (62%)
• 
  Breakfast of Champions (100%)
• 
  Fatal Attraction (12%)

No facts approved yet. Be the first

• Jennifer Love Hewitt was offered the part of Krysta Now in Southland Tales (2006) but turned it down.  Answer »
• This actress has, - Had a hit TV show - Has worked with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ryan Phillippe - Has starred in 'Cruel Intentions' and 'Southland Tales'. Who is she?  Answer »
• Who was in the following movies: Ice Age 1 and 2 Southland Tales The Rundown Road Trip Evolution  Answer »
• Which character did Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson play in Southland Tales??  Answer »

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