January 8, 2008
Holy Shiz factor five. You know that saying when the crap hits the fan? Nay, when the Rose Red hits the fan. Stephen King, "Master of Horror" really screwed the pooch on this particular production. Not only was I morally and logically offended, but I was left with no feelings of entertainment or any type of horror, excluding my feelings of discontent and disbelief that any merciful god in heaven could ever let such a horrible film be released.
He can aid Moses in parting the Red Sea, but cannot in someway hinder and/or destroy all those involved with and the film itself. This film, if it can be called that centers around the story of a grouchy old professor and a small 15 year old autistic girl who has the ability to end the lives of those who cross her.
What I actually Have come to suspect, is that the film, was actually MADE by a small 15 YEAR OLD AUTISTIC GIRL, named Craig Baxtley.
I believe that the AFI should completely and totally restrict this movie from ever seeing the light of day again. No movie with three unending hours of static shots, can be classified as a horror. Maybe a documentary on how to kill a baby hamster, but not horror.
