Suck (2009)

50% of critics liked it
(8 reviews)
51% of users liked it
(1,433 ratings)

A bottom-shelf bar band gets a second shot at the big time when they're transformed into vampires and start to develop a loyal following. Joey (Rob Stefaniuk) fronts The Winners, a go-nowhere rock group accustomed to playing empty bowling alleys and deserted bars. They've never had a hit, and their… More A bottom-shelf bar band gets a second shot at the big time when they're transformed into vampires and start to develop a loyal following. Joey (Rob Stefaniuk) fronts The Winners, a go-nowhere rock group accustomed to playing empty bowling alleys and deserted bars. They've never had a hit, and their manager Jeff (Dave Foley) voids them like the plague. Dumped by his girlfriend and advised by a sinister bartender (Alice Cooper) to simply snuff it, Joey keeps plugging away at his dreams until the one fateful night when everything changes. Hours after disappearing to an after party with a creepy goth guy (Dimitri Coats), sexy bass player Jennifer (Jessica Paré) shows up lacking more pigment than usual. Before long the Winners are dining on groupies, and dominating the charts. But their success has come at a particularly high price, and when Joey has the opportunity to set things right, he prepares to make the biggest decision of his life. Also featuring Henry Rollins, Iggy Pop, Moby, and Malcolm McDowell. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

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Rating, Runtime: R, 1 hr. 36 min.
Directed By: Rob Stefaniuk
Written By: Rob Stefaniuk
Genres: Horror, Musical & Performing Arts, Comedy

In Theaters: Aug 2, 2010 Wide
On DVD: Sep 28, 2010
Studio: Independent Films

Critic Reviews

Tom Russo, Boston Globe
[Not] to be confused with the current Twilight-glomming insta-spoof Vampires Suck -- but that doesn't mean it's an altogether sharper comedy, either.
Dennis Harvey, Variety
An indie-rock-scene satire (plus vampires) whose songlist vastly outweighs its laugh (let alone scare) quotient.
Chris Bumbray, JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Like the obscure Vampire musical, ROCKULA- but, you know-good.
Luke Y. Thompson, Geekweek
Cameos from the likes of Alice Cooper, Henry Rollins, Moby, Iggy Pop, and Alex Lifeson would seem to indicate that this is something to watch...instead, they clue us in that these no-longer-young rockers will apparently do anything for a buck.
Scott Weinberg, FEARnet
A weeknight rental for those who can appreciate material both broadly goofy and amusingly gory.
S. James Wegg, JWR
The cinema's insatiable appetite for all things vampire has just received a bloody musical helping of rock 'n' roll that aims for the jugular then doesn't let go.
David D'Arcy, Screen International
Stefaniuk, a one-man band as writer, director, actor and author of seven of the film's songs, leavens the schtick of band humour with vampire lore.
Barbara Goslawski, Boxoffice Magazine
Juggling conventions, skewering clichés and referencing genre cues, Stefaniuk packs the film with so many insider jokes that what could have been a wild ride simply isn't.

Read all 8 critic reviews

Critic ratings and reviews powered by RottenTomatoes.com

Fresh (60% or more critics rated the movie positively)

Rotten (59% or fewer critics rated the movie positively)

Featured Audience Ratings

Cynthia S

Oh so stupid funny. What's not to like? Rollicking fun with cameos by Alice Cooper, Henry Rollins, Iggy Pop, etc. Campy rock horror flick. I really liked the songs, too.
Dead A

This movie sucks.
Steve K

A film that had no right to be good, and yet was consistently enjoyable. Not quite the next Rocky Horror like they're making it out to be, but certainly worth the watch.
Dean M

Vampires in rock 'n' roll! Suck is a tongue-in-cheek rock'n'roll road movie with a sense of humour blacker than Dracula's hair. Writer-director-actor Rob Stefaniuk is clearly one to watch. He keeps things moving at a rollicking pace,… More
Vampires in rock 'n' roll! Suck is a tongue-in-cheek rock'n'roll road movie with a sense of humour blacker than Dracula's hair. Writer-director-actor Rob Stefaniuk is clearly one to watch. He keeps things moving at a rollicking pace, incorporates some clever animation, and manages to get good performances from a cast that veries in experiences. An though his commentary on both the vampire trend and the fact that many artists have to lose their soul to attain success in music these days is far from subtle, we're never beaten over the head with the message.
Creep F

Not to be confused with that horrible new movie "Vampires Suck". This one is entirely different. I wrote a script similar to this movie, only it was zombies not vampires. Suck is hilarious! It's strictly a comedy (slash musical), and barely a horror film. It's a… More
Not to be confused with that horrible new movie "Vampires Suck". This one is entirely different. I wrote a script similar to this movie, only it was zombies not vampires. Suck is hilarious! It's strictly a comedy (slash musical), and barely a horror film. It's a slapstick with a rock n' roll band full of nitwits taken over by an infestation of the vampire virus. The movie is purely made for laughs, nothing in it is to be taken seriously. The way it was filmed felt like a rated R version of an "Are You Afraid of the Dark" episode directed by Mel Brooks. It was filmed with a very low budget, but it's the comedy that pieces the film together so well, not it's cinematographic technicalities. Although the story never shifts, nor do characters change, Suck is filmed with many individual funny bits - all which stand on it's own. The cameos are what separates each funny bit. When introduced with a new wacky character we're served with a bundle of foolishness, the kind of lunacy that's so absurd it tickles the funny bone (Moby and Henry Rollins both shared priceless moments. Definitely amongst the funniest). I'd say 10 out of 20 bits are funny as hell, and that's good enough for me. The humor is downright silly, the whole film is silly, but for the most part it actually works. There are more hits than misses, which is why I give this film the rating it deserves. Vampires are the hottest theme in the genre right now, and although Suck might not contribute to the growth of it's reputation, it still certainly deserves an audience - especially those looking for something different followed by an abundance of laughter. It wasn't the greatest movie, but it also wasn't effortless and showed some great potential by a lesser experienced upcoming director. Given more money this could have been a much better film, so I do applaud the director for making such a nifty film with his given budget. I always judge a movie on how it fills my time, and Suck certainly didn't waste it. Sure it had it's flaws, but like I said, it's the comedy that pieces the film together so well. It's funny (for the most part) so for that it can be forgiven. If this movie wasn't funny it would have been a shitbomb because all it had was it's humor...and a good sense of humor it was. At least I can give it that much - which is why I give it 3 and 1/2 stars. Recommended! <a href="http://s294.photobucket.com/albums/mm89/JDHallowEEn/HorrorQf/?action=view¤t=Suck.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm89/JDHallowEEn/HorrorQf/Suck.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
Emily A

This is the best movie I've seen of the film festival yet. I can't get over what a great sense of humour Rob Stefaniuk has, and it's got everything that I loved about Phil the Alien and then some. I think the thing I find most endearing about this movie is how casual… More
This is the best movie I've seen of the film festival yet. I can't get over what a great sense of humour Rob Stefaniuk has, and it's got everything that I loved about Phil the Alien and then some. I think the thing I find most endearing about this movie is how casual everyone is. This must be the most casual vampire movie I've ever seen. It amused me how everyone treated the vampire's hunger as though it's a drug problem, and the ensuing dead bodies as an inconvenience. I also really liked the way they likened the vampire's human servant - a staple of the vampire movie - to a roadie. I can't think of anything bad to say about this movie, except for perhaps the contact lenses of the vampires looked a little too spacy for me. But even then I loved their character design. Especially the head vampire who almost never stops grinning. See this movie. It's a fantastic comedy and a terrific vampire movie. What a gem.
Daniel P

FIRST REVIEW! If you like vampire movies (which I usually don't) or rock and roll movies (which I always do), you'll love Suck. Great cameos, funny moments, a film that exploits the clichés of both genres and tells a pretty funny and ridiculous story. A great piece of… More
FIRST REVIEW! If you like vampire movies (which I usually don't) or rock and roll movies (which I always do), you'll love Suck. Great cameos, funny moments, a film that exploits the clichés of both genres and tells a pretty funny and ridiculous story. A great piece of Canadian content that I was lucky enough to see a test screening of - it will likely get better once you can't see the booms on the flying people anymore!
Leo L

Hilarious! In hopes of landing a recording deal and achieving fame, an unknown rock band plays at various venues in parts of Canada and northeastern US. When a key member of the band becomes a vampire, the fellow band mates begin to ponder their own mortal existences as the rise of… More
Hilarious! In hopes of landing a recording deal and achieving fame, an unknown rock band plays at various venues in parts of Canada and northeastern US. When a key member of the band becomes a vampire, the fellow band mates begin to ponder their own mortal existences as the rise of 'vampirism' infatuation becomes highly popular. Rob Stefaniuk, Jessica Paré, Paul Anthony, Mike Lobel, Chris Ratz, Malcolm McDowell, Dave Foley, Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper, Henry Rollins, Moby, and Dimitri Coats. Worthy!