Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood (1996)

15% of critics liked it
(27 reviews)
41% of users liked it
(33,266 ratings)

In this satirical horror-comedy, a gumshoe investigates a combination TV ministry/whorehouse/vampire infestation. After bounty hunter Vincent (Phil Fondacaro) unearths the remains of Lilith, queen of the vampires, he restores the alluring creature to life and lords over her using a magical talisman.… More In this satirical horror-comedy, a gumshoe investigates a combination TV ministry/whorehouse/vampire infestation. After bounty hunter Vincent (Phil Fondacaro) unearths the remains of Lilith, queen of the vampires, he restores the alluring creature to life and lords over her using a magical talisman. Later, rowdy youngster Caleb Verdoux (Corey Feldman) convinces one of his dim-witted buddies to accompany him to a combination mortuary/house of ill repute where both young men fall prey to Lilith's charms. Rather than merely drinking her victims' blood, this vampire has a tendency to rip out their hearts with her projectile tongue. Caleb's sister, Katherine (Erika Eleniak), who works for a large televangelism operation run by the shady Reverend Current (Chris Sarandon), hires private dick Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) to track down the errant Caleb. Rafe's wise-guy antics soon get him in trouble with Lilith and the law, but not before he uncovers the ties between Lilith's organization and Current's ministry; it seems Vincent, and therefore Lilith, are working for the reverend. Soon, Rafe finds himself in the boudoir of Lilith's bordello, armed with a holy-water squirt gun and fighting to save Erika from the glamorous but deadly vampire. Like Tales From the Crypt Presents Demon Knight, the previous film spin-off from HBO's EC Comics-inspired Tales From the Crypt series, Bordello of Blood features interludes hosted by the puppet skeleton known as the Crypt Keeper (voice of John Kassir). Director Gilbert Adler, who previously helmed Demon Knight, would go on to produce 13 Ghosts and The House on Haunted Hill. Whoopi Goldberg makes an uncredited cameo as a hospital patient. ~ Brian J. Dillard, Rovi

Rating, Runtime: R, 1 hr. 27 min.
Directed By: Gilbert Adler
Genres: Horror, Comedy

In Theaters: Aug 16, 1996 Wide
On DVD: Oct 7, 2003

Critic Reviews

Joe Leydon, Variety
Adolescent boys might groove to the mix, but most other ticketbuyers will avoid this tawdry opus like the plague.
Richard Harrington, Washington Post
Triple the length of its cable television inspiration, Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood is triple the gore, triple the naked women, but not, alas, triple the fun.
Jack Mathews, Los Angeles Times
What it lacks in irony and suspense, Gilbert Adler's Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood makes up for in whimsy and cheeky self-assurance.
Peter Stack, San Francisco Chronicle
This gory vampire spoof is remarkably free of jolts, hardly registering as a fright film, with a series of weak special effects involving many globs of guts.
, USA Today
This sickeningly puerile mess will be attractive only to teen boys who aren't too picky about special effects or scripts.
Lawrence Van Gelder, New York Times
Vampires aren't the only things in Bordello of Blood that can't stand up to daylight. Neither can the plot.
, TV Guide's Movie Guide
This is a travesty.
, Film4
The film is grisly enough to serve up some scant enjoyment as a slice of grand guignol, but it's otherwise just another dumb gore movie.
Chuck O'Leary, Fantastica Daily
This very guilty pleasure never produces much suspense, but I couldn't stop laughing at Dennis Miller's sardonic asides.
Christopher Null, Filmcritic.com
... run-of-the-mill horror movie.
Bob Bloom, Journal and Courier (Lafayette, IN)
Stupid, bloody excuse for gore, nothing more.
Dwayne E. Leslie, Boxoffice Magazine
... the series' die-hard fans will be left wanting.

Read all 12 critic reviews

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Featured Audience Ratings

Jeff "

A mediocre horror comedy with bad acting, Bordello of Blood is a lacking vampire yarn that has a good idea ruined with a terrible cast. This is a pointless attempt at a horror comedy, and the result is a mediocre film that is not memorable whatsoever. The film has really no meaning,… More
A mediocre horror comedy with bad acting, Bordello of Blood is a lacking vampire yarn that has a good idea ruined with a terrible cast. This is a pointless attempt at a horror comedy, and the result is a mediocre film that is not memorable whatsoever. The film has really no meaning, and as a vampire film it fails. This film proves yet again that Dennis Miller plainly sucks. The film tries to be something entertaining, and sometimes it does work, but we see that the cast and filmmakers are trying to make something that really doesn't work well. The film is a poor attempt at a vampire tale, and it's quite forgettable. I really didn't enjoy this film, and I can name many other vampire films that are better than this one. Bordello of Blood is a forgettable horror comedy that is poorly crafted with minimal to no scares, and relies more on the gore factor to create horror. As far as vampire films are concerned, Bordello of Blood belongs in the same category as Twilight and all, the other failed vampire films. I lost interest in this film, and I thought it was a pretty lame film with no redeeming factors. Dennis Miller is terrible, and I don't even know why they asked him to be in this, I guess it was to make it entertaining. Well, this film is quite frankly a missed opportunity at being an entertaining vampire film. Boring, uninspired and bad, Bordello of Blood won't appeal to die hard vampire film fans. I was very disappointed with this one. Considering the casting of Chris Sarandon from Fright Night, I was expecting something great, instead it was a boring film.
Phil H

Another tongue cheek blood n guts rampage this time including lots of tits n ass too :) so its pretty darn good then haha. An unoriginal vampire tale this time, set in a brothel with lots of ladies eating biker types much like 'From Dusk Till Dawn' or 'Vamp' but… More
Another tongue cheek blood n guts rampage this time including lots of tits n ass too :) so its pretty darn good then haha. An unoriginal vampire tale this time, set in a brothel with lots of ladies eating biker types much like 'From Dusk Till Dawn' or 'Vamp' but nowhere near as good. Plot is pretty standard but like the previous Crypt flick is does have a wonderful array of makeup and prosthetic effects all over the show with blood squirting and fangs flying, nothing you haven't seen before but it looks good. Casting is drab but does include 80's horror comedy star Sarandon and 80's teen star Feldman both of which raise the film slightly, Angie Everhart looks delicious as 'Lilith'. You know what your gonna get with this franchise so your gonna love it or hate it, personally I see these films as an oppertunity to view good examples of horror makeup/effects normally without much cgi, plus they are always good fun on a no brainer level.
AJ V

A cool vampire movie from Tales from the Crypt, it's like an episode of the show, but longer. It has a nice cast, it's funny, and my favourite of the movies based off the show.
Wahida K

Well actually this should be a Horror, but it is more a Horro/Comedy. Nice for some lols
Dean M

Bare breasts and exploding bodies are all the rage in hot gorefest.
Curtis L

So bad.
Dr Blood

Funny, fast, and full of gore. How many movies do you know where naked vampire hookers devour the still-beating hearts of their adolescent clients, or where the hero saves the day with a Super Soaker? Unfortunately even in this movie filled with half-naked women, Erica Eleniak keeps… More
Funny, fast, and full of gore. How many movies do you know where naked vampire hookers devour the still-beating hearts of their adolescent clients, or where the hero saves the day with a Super Soaker? Unfortunately even in this movie filled with half-naked women, Erica Eleniak keeps her clothes on.
Cassandra M

Ok, I am a female, so I really got annoyed by all the nudity in it of women... but, besides that, I think people are being too hard on this movie... If you rent a Tales From The Crypt movie, don't expect something very good... but I was a little dissapointed when I saw this,… More
Ok, I am a female, so I really got annoyed by all the nudity in it of women... but, besides that, I think people are being too hard on this movie... If you rent a Tales From The Crypt movie, don't expect something very good... but I was a little dissapointed when I saw this, because I think Demon Knight is about one of the best horrors made, and I was surprised that their second film was far different than Demon Knight... This one, Bordello Of Blood, was more funny than anything (quite funny humor I must admit at some points in the movie) with gore, that's all it was, funny and bloody, I was shocked that this movie really didn't have a real plot to it (none that I realized anyway) except obviously, there was vampires, and they wanted them dead... Did I miss something? In Demon Knight, there was a strong plot, great acting, (Especially, Billy Zane...) And funny, gory, exciting, etc., but this was just... pretty plain. If you are expecting a good vampire movie out of this, go watch something else... may I recommend John Carpenter's Vampires? A more serious, believable vampire movie =), but hey, COME ON... this movie isn't THAT bad... is it? The whole idea of it was dumb, and I think made for men, and that isn't fair to us female fans of Tales From The Crypt... am I missing something? Well, maybe the "boss" the cryptkeeper IS a guy, I guess he has say-so about what is put in the movies...
Jason S

It's a little silly and it is the movie that killed this film franchise.
James A

Dennis Miller at his finest, which is anybody eles worst.
Sylvester K

Boring cable favourite, recycled material that could be done better, but short on budget apparently, it's neither funny or scary, just grotesque looking vempire hos with gratuitous nudity
Ira Z

Very appealing visually, especially with the scantily clad babes constantly walking around. Still, this movie is just pointless. Even though, it still owes up to it's apparent cheesiness and absurdity. Due to this, I'll have to admit that this movie still works.
Lee K

dennis miller's lines in this are nothing short then hilarious, if you like naked big chested vampires then this film is for you!
*Kimberly *

Not even close to as good as it's predecessor, "Demon Knight".