Tales from the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood
Tales from the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood (1996)

In this satirical horror-comedy, a gumshoe investigates a combination TV ministry/whorehouse/vampire infestation. After bounty hunter Vincent (Phil Fondacaro) unearths the remains of Lilith, queen of the vampires, he restores the alluring… More

Directed By:
Rated: R
Running Time:
Release Date: October 7, 2003
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Critic Score: 14% Rotten Tomatoes™ Critic Reviews

Consensus: Bordello of Blood is not as scary or funny as it thinks it is (or should've been), and all of Dennis Miller's lines sound like castoffs from his stand-up material.

Joe Leydon

Adolescent boys might groove to the mix, but most other ticketbuyers will avoid this tawdry opus like the plague.

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Peter Stack
San Francisco Chronicle

This gory vampire spoof is remarkably free of jolts, hardly registering as a fright film, with a series of weak special effects involving many globs of guts.

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Felix Vasquez Jr.
Cinema Crazed

Spends too much time on banking on Dennis Miller's snarky sense of humor to really allow the film to entertain as a sexy dark comedy...

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Richard Harrington
Washington Post

Triple the length of its cable television inspiration, Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood is triple the gore, triple the naked women, but not, alas, triple the fun.

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USA Today

This sickeningly puerile mess will be attractive only to teen boys who aren't too picky about special effects or scripts.

Steve Newton
Georgia Straight

Bordello of Blood fails as anything but a gory T&A spectacle for the mouth-breather set.

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Jack Mathews
Los Angeles Times

What it lacks in irony and suspense, Gilbert Adler's Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood makes up for in whimsy and cheeky self-assurance.

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Lawrence Van Gelder
New York Times

Vampires aren't the only things in Bordello of Blood that can't stand up to daylight. Neither can the plot.

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TV Guide's Movie Guide

This is a travesty.

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Flixster Audience Score: 32% Flixster User Reviews
Phil Hubbs
Another tongue in cheek blood 'n' guts rampage this time including lots of tits 'n' ass too...so its pretty darn good then. An unoriginal… More
Wahida K
Well actually this should be a Horror, but it is more a Horro/Comedy. Nice for some lols
Alex roy
A mediocre horror comedy with bad acting, Bordello of Blood is a lacking vampire yarn that has a good idea ruined with a terrible cast. This is a pointless… More
Dean McKenna
Bare breasts and exploding bodies are all the rage in hot gorefest.
AJ Verser
A cool vampire movie from Tales from the Crypt, it's like an episode of the show, but longer. It has a nice cast, it's funny, and my favourite of the… More
Curtis Lilly
So bad.